CLOSING THOUGHTS
The Little Shop Of Haircut Horrors
DECEMBER 23 ▪ 2016
’Twas the night before Christmas. Actually, it wasn’t. Just wanted to get your attention. It all began in the month of March. I was three months from becoming a typical 11-year-old with long, brown hair and green eyes. I was counting down the days for school to end and summer camp to begin. I loved school, but I loved summer camp more. Every Friday morning at 10, Mom (z”l) visited the beauty parlor directly across the street and around the corner from our apartment building. It was in what we now refer to as a strip mall. We knew it as the shop between Hoffman’s grocery store and Prylucks’ drugstore on the corner. We also knew it as the spot where Mrs. Goldberg could spy on us kids from her second-floor window. Reporting back to our parents was her reason for living. All farputsed (beautified), Mom would come home and finish doing the laundry, making the beds and washing the floors, on which she artfully placed newspapers to ensure that they stayed clean. To this day, I cannot figure this one out, so if you can, let me in on the secret. It was all part of her gettingready-for-Shabbat weekly routine. The Shabbat routine continued with Mom cooking brisket or pot roast or chicken and potatoes in her blackwith-white-speckles roasting pot. Yes, Mom used exactly one pot to cook the entire Shabbat meal. Waste not want not, to the extreme. Back to March and the year I stopped smiling. Mom decided cutting my hair would make life easier for me. Believe me when I say that she was so wrong. I cried and carried on until I was too tired to fight. Besides, where would I live if I ran away from home, which is precisely the empty threat I tried to use, to no avail? I entered the beauty shop as a normal-looking, maybe even cute, almost-11-year-old and came out looking like the little Dutch boy on the paint cans. I was devastated. For close to a year, I could not smile and was on 74 strike from being in any photos.
My youngest daughter’s birthday is in March. Yes, I did and do notice the coincidence; are there really coincidences? Let’s not go there today. It was the year Dorothy Hamill invaded our lives. The Dorothy Hamill haircut became all the rage for little and big girls alike.
CROSSWORD
By Shaindle Schmuckler shaindle@atljewishtimes.com
My sweet baby girl had long, beautiful curls down to there. She was also clear about her likes and dislikes. She still won’t eat meat. And although I was (and still am) the grown-up, I knew I was on the wrong end of the Dorothy Hamill craze. Reluctantly, I made the appointment for her with my hairdresser. I knew in my heart I could not do this alone. Her bestest friend, Sharon, and my bestest friend, Rene, came along as support — for me, not her. The hairdresser foolishly tried to persuade my sweet baby girl to simply trim her beautiful locks. Oh, no, she insisted: “I want it up to here,” pointing to her earlobes. He looked at me for support. Silly man: I was looking to him for the same. As soon as he began washing her hair, I started sobbing. Rene immediately realized I could not bear to watch; the trauma was too great. Old memories flooded back. So we walked the halls of the mall. I was sobbing, almost unable to catch my breath, while poor Rene was trying to console me. Lord knows what shoppers were thinking. An hour later, we entered what I knew would turn out to be the little shop of horrors. I was wrong. As much as I missed my baby and her gorgeous curls, the 6-year-old standing in front of me was magnificent. In my humble opinion. Checking Google Earth, it appears there are still shops on that street. Unfortunately, our apartment building is gone. No matter: I have a cloud filled with memories, which, by the way, I love sharing with you. ■
“A Very Beatles Chanukah”
By Yoni Glatt, koshercrosswords@gmail.com Difficulty Level: Challenging
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www.atlantajewishtimes.com
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ACROSS 1. Possible online referral source for some Einstein students 6. Like a notable star 10. The macarena and twist at b’nai mitzvah, once 14. “On the surface ___ to have everything, except my one true friend” (Anne Frank) 15. Lays out (like cloths in Eilat) 16. Kind of korban 17. Language spoken by some Great Neck Jews 18. Jet, on the Ben-Gurion radar screen 19. Main character on Amy Sherman-Palladino’s “Gilmore Girls” 20. Chanukah, on The Beatles’ calendar? 23. Mentalist Geller 24. When Chanukah rarely falls out: Abbr. 25. Animals the Greeks sacrificed in the Temple from the “White Album”? 29. Like the first Jerusalem Post puzzle of the month, to an end-of-the-month solver 33. Small ox that has one of the daughters of Zelophehad inside it? 34. “___ halaylot” 36. Russo in Donner’s “Lethal Weapon” flicks 37. Place for a girl to learn Torah, for short 38. Sch. with a Chabad at Flagstaff 39. “Am ___?” (Koppel might ask his producer this) 40. What William Goldman wrote some scripts on? 42. Al Rosen’s Indians teammate Paige, for short 44. Half an IDF uniform duo 45. Amitai of socioeconomics 47. Maccabee hit by The Beatles? 49. Total sons of Zilpah 50. Lesser who played “Uncle
Leo” 51. No. 1 Beatles hit about the Greeks capitulating to the Jews? 59. Make like Elijah against Jezebel’s pursuers 60. Those with faith might take one 61. Lenin’s first name, for short 63. YES, of “Shtisel” 64. Holocaust writer Seghers 65. Great soprano Gluck 66. Wilder outputs 67. Ki Va follower 68. Critic Pauline
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as a king 27. Selena challenged by Joan Rivers to spell “Palestinian” 28. Revelation locale for Moses and Elijah 29. Negiah 30. Roman quintet of the Ladino vowels 31. Hair-covering option 32. Busybody 35. Actress Dennings 41. Tower of David, e.g. 42. Be’er Sheva rarely sees it 43. Landing spot at Moshav Betzet 44. He played Ryan Howard on “The Office” DOWN 46. The Wilfs, e.g. 1. Judith, to Esau 48. “You ain’t heard nothin’ 2. Morales in Bochco’s ___” (Al Jolson) “N.Y.P.D. Blue” 51. Don (tzitzit) 3. Last name that makes 52. Nobelist Wiesel Gold or Stein into another last 53. Looking at the bronze name snake of Moses, for some 4. Idiotic 54. Habah or hazeh 5. Composer Shostakovich 55. Janet with the same post known for his Jewish-themed as Edward H. Levi work 56. Bob who created Batman 6. Sali who was Rabbi Israel 57. Lead female role in “The Abuhatzeira Producers” 7. Actress Collins 58. Broken (like Balaam’s 8. “Battle Cry” author donkey, perhaps) 9. Language spoken by El 62. Cuban’s team, on the Ramban scoreboard 10. Like G-d’s existence 11. Ahava ingredient 12. What it’s supposed to be LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION for Chanukah 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 M E T S S P A T C E D A R lighting 14 15 16 O L E H K A R A L E U M I 13. Like a 17 18 19 M A V E R I C K S I N C O G diffident maidel 20 21 22 23 A L A M O D E T S P K R I 21. How many 24 25 26 A I D V E E P S A D Israeli tour 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 N E T guides are paid 34P L O 35 D 36E M I 37 38 39 40 A I R S D A K D R R U T H (with “per”) 41 42 43 44 45 L E T U P N I S S O F I A 22. John who 46 47 48 49 50 M U S S A F N I R Y O N A directed Gina 51 52 53 54 A T E G R E Y S T S Gershon in 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 J A B R U E S S O U “Face/Off” 62 63 64 65 66 67 A B U I D I E T E R N A L 25. Like doing 68 69 70 71 F A L C O C A V A L I E R S the macarena at 72 73 74 A T L I T H E A R A V I A a bat mitzvah 75 76 77 A I N T H E A T R E S T S 26. Zedekiah,