Vol. 30 # #.#.#
2 • as.wwu.edu/asreview You’ll never believe what these exclusive images obtained by The AS Review show. Phots by Hailey Hoffman // AS Review
Event Calendar Free Pizza April 1 // 8 a.m. // Red Square// Free Is it real? Is it a prank? Only one way to find out.
Viking Union 411 516 High St. Bellingham, WA 98225 Phone: 360.650.6126 Fax: 360.650.6507 Email: as.review@wwu.edu as.wwu.edu/asreview @TheASReview facebook.com/theasreview © 2018. Published most Mondays during the school year by the Associated Students of Western Washington University. The AS Review is an alternative weekly that provides coverage of student interests such as the AS government, activities and student life. The Review seeks to enhance the student experience by shedding light on underrepresented issues, inclusive coverage, informing readers and promoting dialogue. We welcome reader submissions, including news articles, literary pieces, photography, artwork or anything else physically printable. Email submissions to as.review@wwu.edu. We welcome letters to the editor. Please limit your letter to 300 words, include your name, phone number and year in school, if you’re a student. Send them to as.review@wwu.edu. Published letters may have minor edits made to their length or grammar.
Editor-in-Chief Assistant Editor Lead Photographer Writers
Erasmus Baxter Kira Stussy Hailey Hoffman Tommy Cha Gabrielle Vailencour Josh Hughes Gwen Frost Julia Berkman Hailey Murphy Photographer Jaden Moon Adviser Jeff Bates
Closed Mic Night April 1// 7-9 p.m. // UGCH // Free Sick of performers interrupting your quiet study time? This is the event for
Tacos and Tax Evasion April 1 // 3-5 p.m.// Miller Hall collab space // Free Get some practical personal finance advice while enjoying free tacos from El Agave. Hosted by the Business Major Association.
AS Review Staff Party
you.
April 1 // 9:30 p.m. - 1 a.m.// Message for address// Free
“Step Up 2: The Streets” Dance Lessons
Dress as your favorite clickbait. There will be snacks. BYOB. No randos.
April 1// 7-9 p.m. // VU 464 // Free
Bubble Soccer: WWU vs UW
Don’t be humiliated at your next underground dance battle, step your game up!
April 1 // 4-6 p.m// Carver Gym // Free
Campus Mountain Bike Adventure
This long awaited match between two fierce rivals has arrived. These teams are sure to be bouncing around the court in this completly serious sport’s most intense game yet.
April 1 // 10-12 a.m. // Red Square // $10 You might be able to ride a trail, but can you dodge students walking to class at Red Square’s busiest? The route for this ride is still being determined, but will include riding Bond Hall’s stairs and jumping the Fairhaven pond. A ride for skateboarders starts at the same time and place everyday.
Kendrick Lamar April 1 // 8-11 p.m// VU MPR // $10 Hahaha. I wish....
4.1. 2018 • 3
Eric Bostrom wins AS Presidential Election in landslide
EVENTS
Historic victory leaves campus shocked BY GWEN FROST
With overwhelming student support, local hate-monger Eric Bostrom has been elected the new Associated Students President for the coming 2018-19 school year. Excitement over Bostrom’s landslide victory extends to the administration as well. Western’s President Sabah Randhawa couldn’t believe that “an old random white man” hadn’t been elected to the position before. “Now that I think of it, there is no one better than Bostrom to reflect the opinions of the student body,” said Sabah. “This all makes sense, and I am definitely not surprised or horrified.” The political climate for the student body is anything but unanimous, however. Senior Devyn Julkowski was outraged. “I just can’t believe our student body is so stupid to elect somebody this intolerant,” said Julkowski. “No, I didn’t vote, but I am completely beside myself with an outcome that I definitely could have had a role in changing.”
This is Bostrom’s first foray into the world of student politics, but it won’t be his last. Bellingham High School has yearly elections for class representatives, which Bostrom believes “aren’t totally off the table for future plans.” “I realized that running for city council was a step I took too soon,” said Bostrom. “Working in student government gives me the practice and credentials I need to go further.” He would not comment on the impact a $3,000 donation from the Whatcom G.O.P had on his campaign. However, in a message from his BlackBerry, Whatcom County Republican vice chair Karl Uppiano said they did not expect to Bostrom to win. “We really just hate hate gay people and college students,” he said. “Bostrom’s past DUI doesn’t bother me. Western students’ continued respect for basic human rights does.”
Final Results: Eric Bostrom - 96% Literally anyone else, please, I’m begging - 3% A random freshman - 1% Totally not a Russian puppet - 102%
Bostrom campaigned like many AS presidential candidates do, by holding a sign in Red Square. Eric Bostrom’s FB Page
Top Ten Records: Apr. 1 1
Africa Toto
2
Chattahoochee Alan Jackson
3
Kakashi’s Theme Naruto Soundtrack
4
4:33 John Cage
5
Welcome to the Black Parade My Chemical Romance
6
Speedin’ Bullet to Heaven Kid Cudi
7
Such Great Heights Streetlight Manifesto
8
Angelic 2 The Core Corey Feldman
Big Enough (ft. Alex Cameron, Molly Lewis, Jimmy Barnes) 9 Kirin J Callinan
10
God’s Plan Drake KUGS is the Associated Students’ student-run radio station. Listen online at kugs.org. If you’re interested in getting on the waves, pick up a volunteer application in the station’s office on the seventh floor of the VU.
4 • as.wwu.edu/asreview
Western bans smoking, encourages vaping
No known downsides to vaping, vaper who gets news from Facebook says BY JOSH HUGHES Following a long debate about banning cigarette smoking on campus, Western has decided to act: all smoking poles on campus will be removed effective at the start of Spring Quarter. However, smokers, fear not! Campus has started implementing a program to get all cigarette smokers off the pack and on the Juul. After seeing so many “vapers”, as they’re called, on campus, administration and the AS Board got an idea as to how to solve the problem. Western is now offering a free juul to any student who turns in two packs of cigarettes in to the Student Health Center. “I mean, we all already know that students rent out library study rooms so they can vape with their friends,” said ASVP for Student Life Annie Gordon. “This way, we’re not necessarily encouraging that, but we’re keeping Marlboros off the streets. Instead of students throwing butts throughout campus, I think we’ll start seeing a lot more Juul chargers in the lost and found.” Some students around campus have naturally been very upset at the school’s decision. But, even some hardline smokers have come around to the ban. “I used to pretend I was going to the bathroom to leave class and smoke a cigarette,” said sophomore Julien Martinez. “But now that I think about it, I can actually go to the bathroom and just vape in the stall.” Another early Juul adopter agreed. “It only makes sense, especially since people place a higher value on vapes and juuls than they do cigarettes,” said junior Stella Finch. “One time I left my juul at Clayton Beach and my friends and I walked back in the dark to get it. I don’t think we would’ve done that for a pack of cigs. Luckily we found it because of the Supreme sticker I slapped on it. I’m glad Western has finally joined the bandwag-
on.” Others still don’t see the point in the ban, and consider it very backwards in Western’s attempt to diversify campus. “They’re building a Multicultural Center but they won’t let me smoke my celadon American Spirits? That seems very non-inclusive to me,” said a white smoker who wished to remain nameless. “Now I feel so isolated on campus, like everyone’s looking at me, the smoker. The vape bubble guy gets all the love, it’s just not fair.” Western stands firm by their decision, though they’ve been having a hard time coming up with “youth culture” inspired posters to let students know about their positive outlook on vaping. We’re here at the AS Review to help out with that: *Pls make funny ads for this
Entire Bellingham bus system to be replaced by six fast horses
Bus riders may pay with carrots and sugar cubes instead of cash BY GWEN FROST The bus system in Bellingham has been far from perfect for years. But all that is going to change with Katy, Wrinkles, Moonstar, Ryan, Dashiel and Preemie. That’s right. Six horses are set to to take the place of transportation for the city of Bellingham starting June 17. These horses are well-trained, and have spent the previous years of their life at Summer Green Race Course. Instead of hopping into a giant metal box, the City of Bellingham now offers you the chance to saddle-up and yeehaw. Bellingham’s mayor expressed excitement for “an idea that everybody should get behind.” “People are always complaining about having to stand on busses, or problems with fare,” said Mayor Kelli Linville.
“Horses are very hard to stand on, ask my shattered fibula.” Students are shocked. Said Sophomore Dean Meisler, “I mean, how fast are the horses really?” Meisler later admitted to having never even seen a horse. Senior Andrew Grey is satisfied with moving towards more renewable energy as a city. “Besides their mainly carnivorous diet, horses impact most ecosystems very minimally,” said Grey. “However, people should definitely keep their pets indoors once the horses are let loose. Also small children. These horses may be incredible transportation devices, but they’re out for blood.”
funny ad goes here (make sure to delete reminder in story)
WTA’s newest employees frolic with friends. From left: Moonstar, Wrinkles, Ryan, Dashiel, Preemie and Katy. Courtesty of WTA
‘Active mines changing lives’
Carver gym construction to resume BY ERASMUS BAXTER Tuition may be rising, but Western is digging in to a new funding source, literally. A new Trump administration program will provide Western funding to construct a coal mine under Carver Gym. “This campus is sitting on gold mine!” Geology professor Daniel Plainview said. “I mean, not literally, but these here hills are full of the good stuff.” The swampy ground under campus will present obstacles, but a plan to use children from the Child Development Center in Fairhaven to navigate the narrow tunnels has promise, he said. This innovative proposal, along with the prominence of Western’s Geology program, meant the program was great fit, Department Chair Sarah Igneous said. “We’ve spent years hearing ‘Rocks are for jocks’,” she said. “We’ll see how much you like it when there’s an open mine shaft blocking your way to class.” However, Director of Communications and Marketing Paul Cocke said the 100-person bituminous coal mine would not unduly affect campus accessibility.
“Western has been in a continuous state of construction since the 1960s,” he said. “Students are used to inconvenience.” To compensate for the carbon emissions, Western will ramp up its Sustainability Master Plan, with the goal of having compost in all buildings by 2025, he said. “One of the concerns raised by students about the Western Foundation’s investment in fossil fuels is a collapse in a price colapse,” Cocke continued. “Exploiting our own resources will allow us to stay financially stable, while providing locally-sourced materials that our community loves.” He could not confirm if the coal miners bussed in from West Virginia will pay instate or out-of-state tuition. Students for Renewable Energy said they were outraged, and plan to host a showing of “Billy Elliot” in protest. “If these kids take to a picket line in the form of an entertaining yet poignant musical number, you can be sure we’ll be there to provide backup vocals,” SRE President Tony Winner said.
4.1. 2018 • 5
Red Square fountain to be refilled, but with beer this time Controversy brews over beer choice, is Rainier too corporate? BY GWEN FROST
A rendering of the fountain after the retrofit is complete. Administration stressed that the light beer is just a placeholder. Hailey Hoffman//AS Review
A
Project managers say excavators will fill in the tailings pond in time for intramural volleyball. Erasmus Baxter//AS Review
fter decades of using boring water for Fischer fountain, Western had decided it is time for a change. “We need something that will really set us apart from other universities in the region,” said Western’s Director of Communications and Marketing Paul Cocke. “A giant concrete basin of local beer is just going to be a more attainable goal than small class sizes.” Rainier beer will probably used, because as a state university “we need to represent state pride,” Cocke said. Students have mixed reviews about the new change. “It better not be too hoppy. I mean, I’m not like a beer guy, but I can talk about beer. I know what I like. Also dark beer would be a big statement, ya know?” said Junior Ryan Leninburg.
Sophomore Eleanor Benton has hesitations “about the substance itself.” “My friends and I always fill up our water bottles in the Red Square fountain,” said Benton. “Now I won’t be able to utilize the fountain for drinking until 2 p.m. on school days.” Aslan Brewery workers are currently in tunnels under the square, connecting kegs to the fountain piping. “It’s hard to breathe sometimes,” said one worker.
6 • as.wwu.edu/asreview
Guy in political science class doesn’t make irrelevant comment BY JULIA BERKMAN In what some have been calling an “unprecedented turn of events,” Western sophomore Andrew Sellman did not speak in class today. This change comes after weeks of Sellman speaking in his Political Science 261 class, starting comments with such phrases as “I think it’s interesting that,” and “I just want to mention...” Fellow classmate Marina Belsen was shocked and left class with her jaw open. “I just can’t believe it. He didn’t say one thing. Not even anything I cared about,” she said. Belsen speculated that Sellman could have had a sore throat or was otherwise distracted. Another member of the class, Oscar
Jung, was equally concerned for his fellow classmate. “I can’t think of a single class this quarter where I haven’t heard [Sellman] say something,” Jung remarked. Marcel Yeates, a sociology professor who studies men’s behavior, believes that Sellman’s urge to share his every last thought stems from feelings of male inadequacy. “We often see this sort of behavior in young, white men. They’re convinced the classroom is a hunting ground or field where they must prove themselves,” he said. According to his professor, Sellman’s comments ranged from valuable insights
Shirtless dudes nowhere to be seen BY KIRA STUSSY
The sun came out a couple of times in the last few weeks, bringing with it a strange phenomenon never before seen in the state of Washington. “Their shirts stayed on, I didn’t believe what I was seeing...or more accurately, what I wasn’t seeing,” said senior Ashley Hannan. It is well documented through all forms of social media that in past years, once the temperature climbs above 50 degrees and the sun peeks out from behind the clouds, the shirts of every semi-athletic male student seem to fly off their bodies. But not this year. To everyone’s shock, when the sun last came out, not a single bare chest was seen. “I don’t know where they all went. We’ve been telling them for years that nobody is really looking, but they’ve never heard us before. Why here? Why now?” Hannan pondered. Nobody knows where the shirtless-ees went, or the reason they are gone. Further investigation is needed to conclude anything on this never before seen occurrence.
to lengthy and confusing tangents. The professor, too, was concerned about Sellman’s well-being after he refused to make a comment in class on Thursday. “Even when no one else was raising their hands, Andrew always had something to say. I actually had to stop calling on him for a while to make sure someone else could give their opinion,” said Political Science Professor Paul Dowley. Belsen remembers wanting to share an insight from her experience interning on a political campaign. “I would have my hand raised, but he would just keep talking, so I would make eye contact with [Dowley], but it didn’t help. We all had to let him finish his
tangent,” said Belsen, a third year political science major who has also interned at the United Nations. “It’s a good thing that what he learned on Reddit last night adds so much more to the class than I ever could.
Students done complaining about Multicultural Center construction BY JOSH HUGHES
A few months into the construction, most students have settled into the new campus layout. After posting a poll on our Twitter, we found that 85 percent of students enjoy the construction, 11 percent are ambivalent, and 4 percent dislike it. We asked around campus to get some candid responses to the new roundabout walkways, and this was what we found: “At first I was a little unsure about it, but now I really enjoy the extra 30 seconds it takes to walk around the PAC Plaza,” said sophomore Kendall Spencer. “Also, the buses just make more sense where they are now— though it is funny, I’ve seen some drivers yell at people for waiting in the old bus line when, really, they were waiting for Burrito King.” ... “I’m a STEM major, so like, I don’t have any reason to even be on north campus you know?” said a STEM major who wished to remain anonymous. “That’s where all the liberal arts majors and freshman hang out, so I don’t have a problem with the construction. Sometimes I go up there to get Subway when the Atrium one has too big of a line though, and when I do that I enjoy what they’re doing by the MCC. Still don’t really know what that stands for though!”
... “I really didn’t like the architecture of the building before the construction, but I already really like what they’re doing with the chained fences,” said senior Robert Morris. “I’m not sure if their gonna keep it like that, but I think it’s pretty tight— I love a school with postmodern architecture.”
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Western expels rapist
4.1. 2018 • 7
BY ERASMUS BAXTER
CW: Sexual Assault Western has expelled a student found to have sexually assaulted another student, records show. “Your behavior was despicable,” wrote Assistant Dean of Students Michael Sledge to the student. “And the fact that you tried to blame your behavior on alcohol instead of taking responsibility disgusts me to my core.” The expulsion takes place immediately. “While in the past we have waited till the end of the quarter to institute suspensions, your actions have forfeited that courtesy,” Sledge continued. “I see no reason why [the survivor] should have to see you on campus any longer.” He told the student that returning to college would require him showing that he had changed, and would certainly not happen before the survivor had graduated. The decision was unanimously upheld by the Student Conduct Appeals Committee.
Paul Cocke, director of communications and marketing, said he couldn’t comment on individual cases due to privacy law. However, he said that Western stands by its no tolerance policy for sexual assault cases. “Title IX is very clear,” he said. “We must protect survivors’ right to an education. Plus, it’s the right thing to do.” Sledge said he agreed to an interview to be as transparent as possible. “I want to acknowledge we’ve made mistakes in the past,” he said. “While the student discipline process is meant to be educational, we’ve focused too much on that in serious cases. Sometimes the best education is letting someone know something is completely unacceptable.” President Randhawa voiced his support in an email to campus. “If my predecessor can promise to expel students over the Western Riot, the least I can do is promise to expel students who assault other students,” he wrote. The university will begin releasing annual surveys of
the student body about the prevalence of sexual assault, as well as Equal Opportunity Office statistics about investigations into sexual assault, sexual harassment and bias incidents, in addition to the Clery Act statistics they are legally required to release, Randhawa said. Though the statistics are public record, Western is releasing them to be as transparent as possible, Cocke elaborated. “If students don’t trust the system, it doesn’t work,” he said.
New Subway(tm) coming to Red Square BY JOSH HUGHES
Western has decided to open its third sandwiches. Subway™ location on campus due to popular “We’re artists. I can understand the mere demand. After the Multicultural Center concooks could feel intimidated, but we really struction is completed, Dawson construction are the head honchos around here,” said a will start working on a “pop up” Subway in Subway employee who demanded to remain Red Square. anonymous. “We felt that some students didn’t always As for the students, everyone’s obviously have the time to go to Subway in between quite excited. Some art majors have comclasses. By adding one between our two locaplained about how the new location will tions, we’re sure that everyone will be happy replace the Isamu Noguchi “Skyviewing at the outcome,” said Jamie Smith, Retail Sculpture,” even though it will be moved into Manager for Food Services. the B Gallery. Students unhappy with the lack of diverse “I was really excited when Western rerestaurants on campus should look no furplaced Chick-fil-A with another Subway in ther, Subway is adding pita bread, naan, fried the VU. This is the best news I’ve heard since chicken and poutine to their menu. then!” said junior Aubrey Mange. Other dining options on campus are “I’m not a student, but I come to campus frantically looking at ways to up their game twice a week to get the $3.79 meal of the day. before the restaurant opens. It doesn’t matter to me that there’s gonna be “It’s already been hard to stay open with another Subway, but the more the merrier!” Subway \ Isamu Noguchi: We’re so sorry. Please don’t sue us. Hai- said Bellingham resident Maggie Rimmer. two Subways on campus. We really don’t ley Hoffman//AS Review know what to do now that there’ll be three,” Those looking to be a sandwich artist for said Maria C. Govea, co-owner of Burrito the new location are welcome to apply online showing up to their spot at Vendor’s Row, which they were King. The unpopular Vendor’s Row restauor in person. already doing, but now it’s not just because they’re high. rant feels threatened by Western’s choice to run all the (Subway would like to clarify that they do not sell $5 India Grill has refused to comment, even though Subway “small guys” out of campus. footlongs and have not done so for the past seven years). has promised new “paneer cheese” as an option for their Some Brotha Dudes employees have already stopped
8 • as.wwu.edu/asreview
Honors kids go wild
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ho said Honors kids don’t have fun? At 2:13 a.m. on Friday, March 16, Uni-
Edens Hall damages top $20
versity Police shut down a dorm party in Edens Hall. Several students, all with 3.99 GPAs, were taken to the local police station and held overnight after being charged with MIPs. “Saying that Honors kids don’t throw ragers is such a stereotype,” Amelia Kidd, a freshman in the Honors program and resident of Edens said. “Even though we are the cream of the crop of this school, that doesn’t mean we don’t need a little de-stressing too. Taking 20 credits a quarter and maintaining your D&D groups is no walk in the park, you know.”
The students in the program are not the only ones defending their right to party. “Normally we would be disappointed in students participating in this kind of behavior,” said Director of Communications and Marketing Paul Cocke. “But since this was done by Honors students, we have decided that no further punishment should be inflicted.” It was later reported that the students were released from the police station without even a warning once the officers discovered their superior status at Western. Additionally, Western’s administration has decided to make the patio area on the second floor of Edens an “unwinding” zone. In other words, residents will be able to mingle with their peers whilst sipping on their alcohol of choice. The only restrictions on this new privilege are that the conversations must be
intellectual and that the only students allowed to participate are those in the Honors program. “Honors students are top notch, and they work so much harder than everyone. Especially in those Honors classes they have to take,” said Cocke. ”They are highly sophisticated and intelligent and therefore can be trusted with this. I would even go so far as to say that they deserve this. We just can’t risk giving the same opportunity to any other Western students, for obvious reasons.” The Honors Program has come under scrutiny recently after a non-honors student was tased for attempting to use the free printing in the Honor’s Lounge. Admins close to the program say they think the new program will help put that behind them and return things to their “natural order.”
Western’s sculpture collection to increase in size BY JULIA BERKMAN
A generous donation means that there will soon be more mid-coital sculptures around campus. Allen Burnsides, the artist behind the popular and questionable sculpture entitled The Man Who Used to Hunt Cougars for Bounty, has graciously donated 10 other pieces that depict man and animal en flagrante. Ellery Mannar, Western Gallery director, is excited to welcome the new sculptures to campus. “His theme is thought-provoking and not concerning in the least,” they said. The sculptures are inspired by Burnside’s everyday life. According to him, each sculpture depicts an anatomically incorrect man and a different animal having sex. “I feel like animal sexuality has been overlooked for so long by humans,” said Burnsides. Yiffs in Blue, Western’s furry club, declined to comment on Burnside’s pieces.
Upon being contacted about the controversial nature of these statues, Western’s Director of Marketing and Communications Paul Cocke, did not respond and has since started going to a different coffee place. Many believe that these statues were donated in response to recent outcry about the Viking Union Gallery. “This isn’t going to placate us,” said studio art major Alanna Pierce, who has sat outside of the still-active gallery every day since it was announced that it would be temporarily shut down. Burnsides, who has at least 25 more concrete sculptures in his total collection, is excited to see his work showcased in more locations. “I don’t think putting one of them in front of the preschool in Fairhaven is a big ask, personally,” said Burnsides, who has no say in where the sculptures will be placed.