20 DAYS + OK, I got 20 days plus clean from the toxic chemicals I’d sniffed in my nose or smoked in a glass pipe knowing that it was wrong. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be somewhere else at that moment in time. What was I going through at that time? Who knows? Who cares? That was then, this is now. I’ve moved on. 20 days plus clean from the different liquids of alcohol. Didn’t care what brand it was, it just had to be wet and strong at that time in life of partying— I was invincible, stronger, faster than when I was sober. Then the attitude came—I was meaner, disrespectful to whoever was in my presence, slurring words, making no sense at all. I was a silly mess, but that was then, this is now. I’ve moved on.
20 days plus clean but am I really clean-minded? Really, no I am not. I’m scared as hell. ’Cause I’m afraid of back-stepping into what I was back then— an active addict. Physically, I’m fine. Mentally, my mind is crying out for help. It’s going to take some time, but I’m willing to take the risk. So therefore, I’m trying to move on. And when I get there, you see, who knows? Who cares?
L. Murphy
