guitar,” “maybe I want to talk to my neighbor in the garden, together we’ll weed a little bit” and so I did that with my second … this very soft, easy-going space. I started playing a lot of music and gardening. And then Izzi was born- a much easier transition to go from doing very little to taking care of a baby. It was all about being. SK: You’ve told me how the birth professionals made a difference in your birth, tell me: What about about Community? Where did you find your community and how did they help? KW: Did I mention I love Nyland? SK: I know you got some healing support here. KW: Yea, we did! We needed the support! We moved to Nyland cohousing when I wa 6 months pregnant with Izzi. I reached out right away saying, “I’m about to have a baby, the first time I had postpartum depression and anxiety and I have a basket full of needs, will anyone help?” The Nyland community (known for their community support) rallied. It was amazing; we had this “care calendar” that was HUGE, almost embarassing, there were community meals coming, housework was on there twice a week, we had an errand on there every 4 days and there was even childcare on there for Phoenix too, we had all this beautiful support. And this is in addition to the postpartum doulas coming a couple times a week. I had a Nyland friend, a mother of
Katie’s daughter was born 3 years ago on the fall solstice! 3 boys, who set up the care calendar for me. I thought it was the most obnoxious care calendar in the world. We sent it out and the Community filled it right up! Everybody just made it happen. KW: Now, that is what I say to my moms: make your support request embarrassing, make it obnoxious, make the care calendar something that you are almost ashamed to send out and then it might be close to the amount of support you need. I dare them, “ask for more help than they ever think they can use” if you don’t NEED it, you can call if off… or use it to thrive even more. It’s really hard to convince first time moms of what they really need because I think they hear it and say, “Well, that won’t be me... I have great husband or whatever... and so therefore, I don’t need that level of support,” and more often than not,
it’s just not true. And the ones that take my dare …. and they look so rested and well and say, “I took your dare and I’m so glad I did and I feel amazing!” and it’s often my second time moms, who finally take the advice. I felt better 4 months after Izzi was born than I did two years after Phoenix’s birth. The time - energy investment into that first month or two, is paid back many times over in the long term health of the mama and the family. SK: That must have felt so wonderful to have the community there to support you! KW: It was amazing, the outreach and care from the Nyland community is really incredible.
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We did some other things differently