Fanohge Chamorro

Fanohge Chamorro Put I Tano’ta

Zeta Atoigue ‘23 posing at Gab Gab Beach located in Guam’s naval base

Photo courtesy of Zeta Atoigue.

Miniature Statue of Liberty replica in Paseo Park in Agaña. This replica is near the beach. Photo by Zeta Atoigue

BY ZETA ATOIGUE ‘23, APIA major Staff Writer

Iremember the first week of being a college student: OAs waking us up at the break of dawn, long lectures, and ritualistic chants we screamed to lift up our school spirit. In the midst of all this chaos, I questioned so much. Why did I choose this college? Why is there such a lack of diversity? And why the hell is it so damn hot here? But before I get into that mess, let me introduce myself.

My name is Zeta Atoigue, and in the summer of 2018, I went on a trip that changed my life. Throughout my life, I had always been ashamed that I wasn’t completely “American” and it didn’t help that as the political climate got more tense, the more society emphasized the issues that came with being a minority. So in my senior year of high school, I decided to conduct a 8-month research project about my Chamorro culture after I visited Guam for two months.

Life on Guam is simple. The trivial nature of daily life in the mainland did not apply there. I realized this when I went kayaking at Surfside beach, a place near my village in Talofofo. A day after I arrived on the island, my uncle gathered my family to go kayaking, which I hadn’t done in years. I was reluctant at first, and all that I remember from that experience was crying. As strange as it was, kayaking in the sea made me feel spiritually connected to the island, like time sat still and it was only me, the waves, and the kayak all moving in a singular motion across a large body of water. For once, the pressure and the anxiety that came from living in the States were lifted, and I got to appreciate the little things I usually ignored.

However, as life altering as that moment was, the reality of the island life quickly set in. Time slowed down in Guam, but it didn’t conceal how the government consistently failed to provide basic utilities, opportunities for residents to move upwards financially, and the overwhelming dominance of the U.S military’s presence made independence for the island harder to obtain. It seemed like there were only two options where Chamorros either involved themselves in the military or exploited our culture to appease the tourism industry. It looked like a losing battle and I didn’t have the answers, and witnessing this ultimately made me reflect on how I was going to create my own future.

This is why I chose William & Mary, because I saw it as an opportunity for me to make most of the scarce privilege that I possessed and generate that into a future that would give me the chance to help those who felt helpless. My inspiration were the people in Guam who are unable to get out of the rut because the government decided to ignore them.

Stand Ye Guamians for Your Country

Preparation for a cultural dance to be performed in the middle of Chamorro village. This is a popular

place that attracts many tourists. Photo by Zeta Atoigue

Popular food market in Chamorro village. The market is especially popular on Wednesdays because all the stores only open up on that

night. Photo by Zeta Atoigue.

Sunrise captured at First Beach located in the small village of Talofofo. First Beach is a beautiful public beach that I visited many

times as a child. Photo by Zeta Atoigue.

However, at times, even this inspiration got muddled. During the first week of orientation at William & Mary, I was absolutely terrified. The duality of seeing people struggle back home and observing students who had levels of privilege I was not accustomed to on campus was a culture shock. The energy I had which got me into this college seemed to diminish as the odds appeared to be stacked against me. It felt like I was one of my Chamorro people on Guam, witnessing another losing battle.

But the APIA community changed that. Through clubs like the Filipino American Student Association (FASA) and my roommate and her friends, I finally started to feel comfortable in my own skin. They showed me how beautiful our culture was and how being “American” was not the only identity I had to conform myself into. The cultural events and APIA classes that I participated in further cemented how much of a gift my ethnic background was. Through this community I learned that the lack of diversity only showcased how unique people of color were. This community helped me remember my purpose.

I was scared and uncomfortable at first, but I gradually found my place on campus with the help of the APIA community. They showed me that I made it here for a reason. My first year experience was a difficult transition, but it made me realize that there was so much more work that needed to be done. William & Mary was not perfect, but through the APIA community, I finally feel capable enough to make my family and my island proud.

P.S. William & Mary is a literal swamp. There is no escaping the heat.