Complex Napoleon: do short guys have bigger problems? Rhian Mordaunt Dr. Seuss, in his famous book Horton Hears a Who! once stated that, ‘a person’s a person no matter how small.’1 But is ‘a man a man no matter how small?’ For as long as I can remember, I have always been short. I was always at the front of the line when we had to go in height order for photo days. I had to wait for what felt like forever before I could go on most of the rides at Luna Park. I was even cast as ‘Small Boy’ in the Sydney production of Billy Elliot back in 2007, which was simultaneously the best and worst thing for my eight-year-old ego. All of this didn’t seem very fair when I was younger, considering that both my dad and my brother are over six foot. I have also always been referred to as ‘cute’, although as a brown, gay guy, I could have been called a lot worse. While my taller guy friends would get called ‘hot’ or ‘handsome’, I got bombarded with remarks such as ‘omg you are just so cute’ or ‘you are so petite it is adorable’. But does anyone want to date ‘cute’? When I entered the gay scene I was immediately categorised as a ‘twink’. However, as an 18-year-old me waltzed through the darkened ARQ dance floors, I wondered whether my height would forever forbid me from becoming the mythical ‘dom jock leather daddy’. Despite my numerous attempts at getting rid of the ‘cute’ label, which included growing out patchy facial hair and playing bass guitar in an indie rock band, 21-year-old me who stands at a whopping five-foot-six is still called the ‘c-word’. Besides not being able to reach the jar on the top shelf or being a star basketball player, do short guys really have bigger problems? 1
Seuss 1954, 6. ARNA 2020 | 27