Army&You – Autumn 2020 by TylerBale Communications

&You Autumn 2020

{for everyone with a soldier in their life}

MEASURING MENTORS

armyandyou.co.uk

EXCEPTIONAL EVACUATION

Meet the families flown thousands of miles during global lockdown

We run the rule over the support initiatives helping to further the fortunes of army spouses

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN – TRAINING SPECIAL

HOUSING

Surplus SFA • Staying put • Rules on moving HEAD FOR THE FAIRWAYS: Tee off autumn in style by taking a shot at winning our fabulous golf giveaway

THE MAGAZINE OF THE ARMY FAMILIES FEDERATION

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FROM THE EDITOR

Army&You

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{for everyone with a soldier in their life}

EDITOR Charlotte Eadie editor@aff.org.uk DEPUTY EDITOR Lisa Youd deped@aff.org.uk // 01264 382314 // 07376 604259

ArmyandYou on Facebook or visit armyandyou.co.uk

Time to re-emerge and refocus on you As we re-emerge after months of lockdown, this autumn’s Army&You is all about finding time for yourself as we explore the plethora of fantastic free training resources specifically for the forces family community. Our main feature It’s never too late to learn (pages 14-15) gives lots of useful suggestions on where to start your next learning journey. We also hear from readers who’ve been broadening their knowledge. There’s Kayleigh who has been studying through distance learning (page 16), Kelly who’s upskilled via SMSpouses, and Millie who has found confidence through the LifeWorks-Families programme (page 19). Whether you’re looking a change of direction, new career path or upskilling, there are some great mentoring services designed to help you along the way (pages 20 to 23). Elsewhere, we hear from the families who, as COVID-19 spread across the globe, found

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themselves evacuated with just a few days to prepare. Follow their amazing journey on pages 28-29. Back on UK soil, there’s so much positivity and best practice in our look at a posting to Wales on pages 38-39. Plus, if you’re due to move, there’s lots of useful housing info (pages 35-37) and an update on the army’s rebasing plans (pages 32-33). Finally, don’t forget to turn to the back of this issue to catch up on the best blogs – they’re a really good read. If you have story to share, contact us anytime – we would love to hear from you @ArmyandYou.

AFF UK CENTRAL OFFICE 01264 382324 // us@aff.org.uk REBASING 07542 270358 // rebasing@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER SOUTH 07824 534345 // rmsouth@aff.org.uk OXFORDSHIRE/M4 CORRIDOR 07787 091883 // oxfordshirem4@aff.org.uk HAMPSHIRE 07527 492803 // hampshire@aff.org.uk WILTSHIRE 07527 492783 // wiltshire@aff.org.uk SOUTH WEST 07787 301826 // southwest@aff.org.uk SOUTH EAST 07974 970696 // southeast@aff.org.uk LONDON 07901 778948 // london@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER NORTH & CENTRAL 07824 534357 // rmnorthcentral@aff.org.uk NORTH EAST 07557 977141 // northeast@aff.org.uk NORTH WEST 07733 147001 // northwest@aff.org.uk WEST MIDLANDS 07557 977290 // westmids@aff.org.uk EAST MIDLANDS 07587 456280 // eastmids@aff.org.uk EAST ANGLIA 07527 492807 // eastanglia@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER SCOTLAND, WALES & NI

07585 333115 // rmscotwalesni@aff.org.uk SCOTLAND 07780 093115 // scotland@aff.org.uk WALES 07527 492868 // wales@aff.org.uk NORTHERN IRELAND 07729 159013 // ni@aff.org.uk

CHARLOTTE EADIE, EDITOR

AFF OVERSEAS 0044 (0)7795 596568 // rmoverseas@aff.org.uk CANADA 001 (0) 403 9280436 // canada@aff.org.uk CYPRUS 00357 9991 3136 // cyprus@aff.org.uk EUROPEAN JOINT SUPPORT UNIT 0032 (0) 47738 4054 // ejsu@aff.org.uk

YOUR AFF SPECIALISTS HEALTH & ADDITIONAL NEEDS✪ 07552 861983 // additionalneeds@aff.org.uk EDUCATION & CHILDCARE 07527 492869 // ec@aff.org.uk HOUSING 07789 551158 // housing@aff.org.uk FOREIGN & COMMONWEALTH fcsupport@aff.org.uk CONTRIBUTIONS If you’ve got a story to tell about army life, then let us know – email editor@aff.org.uk

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on its Jobs, Jenna reflects Forces Families has helped organisations the Disabled Veterans’ success: “The site fee waiver through difference between to understand the Scholarships Fund. veterans’ needs. running free Social spouses’ needs and BFBS Academy is Chloe Petrylak employers and training It’s important for Media Spouses courses. the lump the two together learn more about providers not to says: “I wanted to see We now want to in order to develop as many often do. various platforms people world of instant networks where more collaborative my skills in this amazing each n. I thoroughly from and mentor can support, learn news and communicatio spouse tackled course and the high Hearing how another enjoyed the entire from the other. and can help feedback received a challenge is reassuring level of positive own progressing on your even more worthwhile.” immensely with coaches made it can face barriers journey.” Families overseas and for online future is important Investing in your including time differences internet or lack of many free and flexible when there are so seminars, unreliable stopping more nothing larger, the there’s of courses out there, childcare. “In some there are Army started. & you from getting permanent locations but these are in Education Centres, says 25 for lots of inspiring is a concern for AFF,” See pages 16 to demise and this Esther Thomas. learning opportunities. AFF regional manager, more is often focused “Spousal training as opposed to on recreational courses development. The professional career on been very dependent offer has always have the skills and whether other spouses training.” ability to deliver

FEATURE

AUTUMN 2020

CONTENTS INSIGHT

27 Invest In Your Future How to finance your academic ambitions 32 Major Movements What Op Faran means for military households 35 Make Your Move The cans and cannots of switching accommodation 38 What's Life Like In Wales? The realities of service life across the Severn 48 Constant Care Supporting a loved one? We explore the help at hand 51 Cyprus Calling A snapshot of army life on a sunshine island

&You

FEATURES

14 Never Too Late To Learn Is it time you followed the army's lead on training? 16 Going The Distance A service wife shares her experience of remote learning 18 The Love Of Learning We survey the training opportunities open to you 20 Mentoring Motivation A tour of the initiatives ready to spur you on 28 Exceptional Evacuation How lockdown impacted families overseas 42 Coping With Grief Avenues of support open to those left behind

REGULARS

06 Our Experts Find out what AFF’s team have been up to this quarter 09 A Word From... Farewell from AFF's chief executive Sara Baade 10 AFF In Action Discover the latest news affecting army families 62 Giveaways Win a fabulous Surrey golf getaway 64 Book Club Young readers' verdicts on The Great Fairytale Cover-Up 65 BlogSpot You share your experiences of army family life

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN

from their your soldier’s careerSo is it time Training is part of until their last. very first day of service leaf out of that book? for you to take a like to see.” out what they would

quality of life by drop-in session Turning up at one improve your family’s she learning income, which is Layla Murphy-Plant, HATEVER your age, proved fruitful for adding an additional as a major personnel purchase draftsman but after new skills can serve says: “I was a design useful as more serving boys, of work raising my boost to your self-esteem, seven years out their own properties.” finding to that role. After I couldn’t return writes Jill Misson. and my qualifications 2 Principles of out more about me, Free and flexible After taking a Level a course, Gemma suggested I become establishments experience, they Many educational Business Administration for flexibility. The Project JEMS’ outreach “I wanted something maths lecturer for recognise the need from Bovington says: free time role for me. Development my of in perfect the home Director is provision. This Open University’s that I could do from are girl and hours and term-times says: “Our courses around our little It fits in with school Jhumar Johnson that was flexible to in enabling students I did lose myself on my existing knowledge, and I’m building delivered in modules our working patterns. me for career.” place that works mum, but this helped carving out a new study at a time and being a wife and ilies course has students even studied back.” The RBLI LifeWorks-Fam them. One of our to get my identity part took who specialist between Filo, & training travelled also been well-received. in Chinooks as he AFF’s employment and a “It was very thorough understands, having in Larkhill, says: operating bases.” Jenna Richardson was free She The hardest part Poole College offers 2 course recently. relaxed atmosphere. Bournemouth & completed a Level on the Nela and showing up foundation level. I got when my certificate fighting the nerves online courses at says: “The feeling I are flexible around door was incredible! first day.” Vrabie says: “They came through the work pattern than at my university a partner’s unpredictable was more emotional new can be taken to a it was something Funding your studies and childcare, and graduation because learners are factor and many completed All I’d deciding that posted. a Cost is always location if you’re I’d done for myself, and UK offer free courses offer academic support a working parent colleges across the assigned tutors who alongside being of and Skills Funding due to the challenges funded by the Education if you’re struggling military spouse.” providers moved of an army family Agency. Many training military life.” By upskilling, members as a result of COVID-19 & Education for more employable, their services online Project JEMS [Jobs can make themselves you’re going quality courses available South West] is making and made more Military Families Jenna explains. “When free to of process, it helps Open University’s Claridge says: “One free of charge. The progress. Michelle through the recruitment many of the saw a surge raise awareness crowd. There are learning site, OpenLearn, my key roles is to stand out from the are and the overseas lockdown. There with military life on CVs, such as in visitors during issues associated reasons for gaps including the postings or being prevent engagement also bursaries available, challenges that can postings, short-notice to out get I Employment Grant but completing training. Royal British Legion’s with education and a stay-at-home parent, a full to let University offers times tells employers as coffee mornings Scheme. The Open unit events such training during these find your is available and to to keep developing families know what that you’re keen also qualifications may skillset. Acquiring

Access to training

Covenant has The Armed Forces of access to highlighted the importance families. A training for military year on from the

as overseas for gaps on CVs, such “There are many reasonspostings or being a stay-at-home postings, short-notice training during these times tells ting parent, but comple ing your skillset.” keen to keep develop employers that you’re @ArmyandYou

autumn 2020 www.armyandyou.co.uk

2020 14 Army&You autumn

Don’t forget

Plain to the Salisbury with units rebasing 2 YORKS are which will hopefully N CATTERICK Garrison, Training Area (SPTA), in Cyprus and the moving to Episkopi help the community.” are heading to of the summer 2019 Royal Dragoon Guards Carole was part moving from Germany rebasing programme Warminster, Wiltshire. tips shares some top are coming to to SPTA. Here, Carole Meanwhile, 1 YORKS from The Scots Guards her own experiences... she learned from Catterick along with LANCS 2 the north west, Aldershot. From 2 being replaced by – it’s your responsibility l Do your admin are off to Pirbright, contracts attached returning from Cyprus. to cancel any existing MERCIAN who are your and coas utilities including to the house such AFF’s regional managers subscriptions, window been working together landline and WiFi, ordinators have you’re fully prepared to do this could see cleaner etc. Failure with all units to ensure The post office attended movement you incur extra charges. for your move. We’ve to drop-in useful is (at a cost) and held regular redirection service briefs, unit recces – after you’ve moved overseas, in Wiltshire capture any mail clinics for families and before lockdown, royalmail.com/redirect and in the north to support you virtually we’ve continued have your – as soon as you l School places over the summer. your new area’s address, apply through e on schools local authority. Information Rebasing knowledg the via coor their websites AFF’s rebasing can be found on Since starting as has special educational Rudd has dedicated HIVE. If your child ordinator, Carole (SEND), it’s worth her time to liaising needs and/or a disability a large amount of with that the whole school for a chat contacting the new with units. “It’s important with a friendly your child’s current their SENCO. Keep community feel supported, with she too; they can help to if issues arise,” school in the loop face they can go your the AFF north this can help settle the transition and says. “Working alongside to chat Catterick and York team, we visited

MAJOR

MOVEMENTS

life}

armyandyou.co.uk

EXCEPTIONAL EVACUATION

MEASURING MENTORS

Meet the families flown thousands of miles during global lockdown

We run the rule over the support initiatives helping to further the fortunes of army spouses

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN – TRAINING SPECIAL

HOUSING

Image: © MOD Crown

at move-in. and the state of furnishings dated online or on Make sure these are to your 14-day the image, attach them

any additional needs child in. Register AGAI 108. or disability with

you de-registe l Healthcare – ensure doctor and dentist, from your current NHS number for requesting your new location. Go registration at your

your local AFF l Local info – contact H aff.org.uk and the co-ordinator via information on child good for finding and other facilities

and events.

autumn 2020 A www.armyandyou.co.uk

@ArmyandYou

SADIE’S STORY

nearly an hour away the from my work and children’s nursery. “I decided to rent privately but this p to AFF’s bereavement meant I needed aff.org.uk earn more, so I took Ricky for just JCCC “I was married to on a second part-time casua and we have years Manages forces two under job.” cases and compassionate a two children: Lilly-Mae a day, 365 days 21 two Search JCCC at help Oliver (OB). I turned Valued accident,” weeks before the SSAFA support g Over the years, their ssafa.org.u says Sadie. needs as a family were months few ru “The first forceschildrenst have changed. mum and a bit of a blur. My ie “When I first scottyslittlesold out by the in-laws were flown lost Ricky, I had Families’ Activity army to help me. two children who fabcamps.or was “At the time, Lilly-Mae depended on me OB was royalbritishlegio little just 15 months and solely and I had mentn childhoodbereave four months.” time to myself. Now from Sadie also had support armywidows. they’re older and fellow army I her best friend and warwidows.o more independent the unit spouse Claire, plus I’m alone a lot. find and forcespensionso 5 Rifles of welfare officer from However, I’m part Army Welfare a padre. the Army Widows 01904 882 few months During those first AWS-HQ-IAT@ Association, going for Sadie says she kept which is a great Cruse Bereave the sake of the children. cruse.or organisation. like I would “I just didn’t feel “One of the winstonsw but I knew with on ever be happy again, have given widows I’d connected Ricky a lot. People try to give childbereavem me to come to to that I had to at least Facebook asked me stories and pictures a life as youngmind the children as normal so that their AGM. show the children decided I an was possible.” lullabytru dad “I was nervous but their they know from The family moved uksob needed to go. amazing man. after Ricky most but Germany a month “I met some of the all had counselling “We’ve chose have had died. Sadie initially BURSA amazing ladies who on OB found it hard. than the fact Service Family Accommodati ACAD become family rather “He struggles with so she could Sadie. (SFA) in Beachley, their dads friends,” explains ASSIS other people have and she part of the be close to family, The children are around,” she says. work around charity. started to look for that goes by There are seve Scotty’s Little Soldiers “There isn’t a day Ricky’s death. that can off sorts of six months after “Scotty’s offers all I don’t think of him. okay support to ser We go to the like “Financially we were help and advice. young people “Sometimes it’s hard, however, SFA, year, in living every whilst is affected had their Christmas party when the children hit with the servin says Sadie. once we left, I was or left which is amazing,” first days at school entitled to The Child real world. I wasn’t the last time. primary school for help as I had Advisory Ser a lot of financial life on his Advice to others up: We celebrate his schools whic so it was seen to open him on our Ricky’s pension, Sadie’s advice is the bereaved birthday, remember you’re feeling. and the as an income. personnel. E “Talk about how wedding anniversary his life enquirie be able “He had died with death. “The only way you’ll anniversary of his unsigned, so make your gov.uk/s his insurance papers to get help and to “Most of all we keep money to berea take small we didn’t have any OB looks hero proud is to memory alive as again. Lord Ki buy a house. him.” steps to living life like but exactly Me council about “I applied to the “As a family we talk kitchen was the only place offered me

an ADIE Baldwin was in army spouse living she Germany when soldier in an tragically lost her her story... accident. This is

COPING WITH GRIEF

very member is always The loss of any family it can be particularly but hard to cope with, one serving in who lose a loved difficult for those the avenues explore some of the army. Here, we those left behind… of support open to

Photo: Scott Parry

RESOURC & SUPPO

think of him. that goes by I don’t “There isn’t a day had their first like when the children last time.” the Sometimes it’s hard, primary school for days at school or left

@ArmyandYou

www.armyandyou.co.uk

on Unsplash

THE MAGAZINE OF THE ARMY FAMILIES FEDERATION

www.armyandyou.co.uk

to gov.uk

2020 32 Army&You autumn

Surplus SFA • Staying put • Rules on moving autumn in style by HEAD FOR THE FAIRWAYS: Tee off golf giveaway taking a shot at winning our fabulous

overseas – go

report and keep a copy. is on every l Ensure that your address move-out and sheet of paperwork at accommodation that both you and the If you disagree officer sign each sheet. the relevant regarding a charge, tick you both sign box and make sure that as evidence. companies. the page. Take photos and and swings doesn’t mean l Pack up trampolines l Not signing the page to give the grass a – you need lay down seeds early that you won’t be charged you have seen chance to grow back. to sign to show that Amey and disputed the information Avoid charges provides to DIO. move-in lines on the l Keep a copy of your l Score out any spare report. before you paperwork and 14-day charges part of the form report by noting sign it. l Fill in your 14-day Send it the any damage to the property. To dispute charges, follow l form within the letter. If your to the address on the process outlined in the raise a stage timeline. challenge is unsuccessful, DIO. to of any damage two complaint in writing l Take photographs

to y is one that’s used military communit of the the north of England’s one for families moving in or out It’s safe to say that be a busy into effect. moves – comes year and next will change, but this to the army 2020 pandemic, but it’s – the name given by the current health the process… area as Op Faran e has been delayed you through on hand to help The rebasing programm again, and AFF is about to get going

ON THE COVER

Entrepreneur Lucy Mans runs the rule over the business mentoring made available to the military community (pages 20-23).

to...

Education Continuity of l Renew your certificate. Allowance eligibility wit has SEND, register l If your child Education Advisory the Children’s S– DYCP-CEA Service (CEAS) k Enquiries@mod.gov.u to look Families Jobs l Visit Forces can also he FFJ for work in advance. liesjobs.co – forcesfami with your CV of good certificate a l Apply for from coming back conduct if you’re at aff.org.uk overseas – more ba if you’ve been l Claim NI credits

nhs.co.uk

Housing hints

– l Use the Amey website ameydefenceservices/housing l Follow the guidance. don’t patch l Use the correct paint, paint. meters. l Remove pre-payment of cleaning l Ask the HIVE for details

Autumn 2020

{for everyone with a soldier in their

launch of

autumn 2020 Army&You 05

Royal Ca Trus

autum

AFF IN ACTION

Our experts

Our team provides families with trusted, expert knowledge and here we find out about their key pieces of work over the last few months. Turn to page three to get in touch.

Anna Hutchinson – Education & Childcare Having begun this role in lockdown and understanding what a challenge this has been for us all, I’m eager to know how schools have supported you. Let me know if your child’s school went that little bit further to help your family during lockdown, especially if it involved using the Service Pupil Premium to support them. If you have a story you would like to share, email me – ec@aff.org.uk

What was the last course you took? ‘Momtography’: Using a camera properly to take photos of my children so I don’t have to rely on my phone!

Jenna Richardson – Employment & Training Training has been my top enquiry recently and I’m amazed by the number of you who’ve got in touch about opportunities. With the pandemic forcing businesses to embrace working from home, this has opened up remote working opportunities, which are so important for our community. Many of you are keen to brush up on your skills to stand out from the crowd when you apply for roles. I’ve had lots of enquiries about functional skills courses. Many are now available for remote study, which means they fit around the challenges of military life.

Katherine Houlston – Foreign & Commonwealth Don’t forget to check your visa expiry dates! If your visa wasn’t issued for five years, then do contact us, as you might be on the wrong visa route. If you paid the health surcharge when you applied for your visa, then you can get this refunded and we can assist in getting your visa corrected for free. It’s important that all spouses of soldiers are on the armed forces visa route – it’s a cheaper route to settlement and also ensures that all time spent on an overseas assignment is counted as residence in the UK.

A dog first aid course, so now if a dog needs CPR I know what to do!

An online immigration training course about Brexit, which was very informative.

Karen Ross – Health & Additional Needs Earlier this year, AFF received funding from Aspire for two additional needs support groups for families in Tidworth and Aldershot. Due to lockdown, we’ve not been able to deliver these face-to-face but we’re busy looking at other options including running them virtually from September. If you’re interested in accessing them, do contact me. I’d also love to hear from you if you want to run a group in your area – additionalneeds@aff.org.uk

Cat Calder – Housing AFF is focusing on housing during September and October. Our Big Survey will be asking questions about the Future Accommodation Model (FAM) and we want to hear from you! Are you in the Aldershot pilot site? Have you changed your accommodation type as a result? What has your experience of FAM been so far? If you don’t live in a pilot site, how much do you know about FAM? We need your views, so please fill in the survey from 21 September – aff.org.uk

A course about stalking, not an easy subject to discuss but very informative.

A sourdough making course – sourdough culture is the adult version of Tamagotchi!

Claire Hallam – Money & Allowances The Department for Work and Pensions has now confirmed that members of the armed forces/ crown servants are exempt from the basic condition of being in Great Britain to claim Universal Credit. However, if as the partner of a member of the armed forces, you’re not working, you must still satisfy their work-related requirements and meet their UC claimant commitment whilst you’re abroad. I’ve heard from some of you who are being prevented from starting a claim when overseas. If you’ve faced issues, email moneyallowances@aff.org.uk

A mental health first aid course. I learnt to spot mental health issues.

Emma Long – Policy & Research The MOD is considering how military families can be better supported with childcare. In response to this, we ran a survey exploring your views, including which childcare options you use, your satisfaction with provision, and the unique challenges that you face when needing childcare. Thank you to all who participated! It’s enabled us to provide decision makers with real-life experiences and stories, helping to ensure that you’re at the centre of childcare-related considerations. Take a look at our website for our survey’s findings – aff.org.uk

06 Army&You autumn 2020

My PhD exploring army partners' experiences postdeployment.

WELC OME home with a Barclays mortgage

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re proud to support the Forces Help to Buy scheme, which lets you apply for an interestfree loan of up to half your salary (ÂŁ25,000 maximum) to put towards your deposit, and estate agent and solicitor fees. Get in touch to see how we could help you find the right mortgage. Contact us 24/7, except on UK public holidays, from anywhere in the world. Search Barclays Forces Help to Buy Make money work for you

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In uncertain times it’s more important than ever to understand the value of your pension.

SUPPORTING THE FORCES AND THEIR FAMILIES

Join us. Job done. Right now, you might reflect on being fortunate to have an Armed Forces pension guaranteed to deliver as contracted. And you would be right. Nevertheless, there are choices to be made and options exercised if you are to get the most from it. Our Pension Advisory Team deals with c 15,000 enquiries from Members a year, questions like: how do I get a pension forecast, when is the best time to leave, I’m getting divorced so what do I do about my pension, what are the taxes on LTA and Annual Allowance and what will I receive if I’m medically discharged? We’ll advise and help you make better choices for you and your family. You’ll also benefit from the valuable range of discounted goods and services available exclusively to our Members. And we give our Members and the wider military community a voice where it counts, on the representative bodies for Armed Forces and Public Services Pensions.

Independent, not-for-profit Independence is vital to our work, calling governments to account wherever we spot unfairness or injustice in the system. We are funded entirely by subscriptions from our membership- now c. 60,000 strong. Any surplus goes toward funding our free-to-attend Roadshows at bases throughout the country and overseas, and to our outreach programme at CTP Employment Fairs.

Visit: forcespensionsociety.org/join-now Annual membership for you and your spouse/partner costs just £40. From the moment you join us, you will not only have access to our Pension Advisory Team but also to our wide range membership benefits from discounts on new cars and white goods, to insurances and low-cost money transfers, plus a good deal more.

I T P AY S T O U N D E R S T A N D Y O U R P E N S I O N Forces Pension Society 68 South Lambeth Road, Vauxhall, London, SW8 1RL Tel: 020 7820 9988 - email: memsec@forpen.co.uk - www.forcespensionsociety.org

A member of

Cobseo The Confederation of Service Charities

OVER AND OUT A FAREWELL FROM OUR OUTGOING AFF CHIEF EXEC, SARA BAADE

S THE sun sets on my time at AFF, it feels like only yesterday that I sat down and wrote my very first column in Army&You and here I am now, five years later, writing my last. It’s with mixed emotions that I put pen to paper; sad to be leaving but also very proud of what the team has achieved. When I took on the role, I expected that much of my work would be to highlight to the army what it’s really like to be an army family. Having been an army spouse, I wasn’t sure senior command really understood what it meant to be a modern army family, the issues we are faced with and the daily frustrations. I wasn’t completely wrong in my assumptions. Over the years I’ve had daily conversations with command, highlighting where things don’t work, but overall, I’ve been impressed by the army’s openness to listen and incorporate the family agenda into policy. I know some of you may say it doesn’t always feel like it, but I think the army’s senior leadership team do understand www.armyandyou.co.uk

“To all army families, it has been an honour to work for you.” and try to address the issues you’re faced with. Clearly, they have limitations such as budgets and tri-service agendas, but the ‘will and the want’ is certainly there. I’d like to thank the army command, not just for including AFF in the key decisions affecting families in recent years, but also for being open minded and willing to address the issues we have brought to the table. Over the last five years AFF’s dedicated and passionate staff have developed the new spousal employment website, Forces Families Jobs, following on from commissioned research, and we broke the record in survey engagement when we had more than 8,500 families responding to our Future Accommodation Model housing survey in 2016, giving us

a solid evidence base to argue for better consideration to our mobile army families when looking at future housing models. We’ve successfully challenged how welfare is provided to families and have raised the need for better support for our foreign & Commonwealth community. We’ve championed the need for an effective and well-resourced maintenance contract for service family accommodation and pushed for better communication, as well as supporting thousands of you with your everyday issues. To all army families, it has been an honour to work for you. I’d like to thank you for your engagement with us, for trusting us to speak on your behalf and for giving us the evidence – via surveys and day-today engagement – that we need for us to challenge and push for change. There’s still more to be done, so please do continue to report your issues to AFF and join the conversation: @The_AFF & autumn 2020 Army&You 09

AFF IN ACTION

#AFFWIN

#GOODTOKNOW

BUSINESS BONUS

IN OUR SHOES

AFF’s East Midlands coordinator, Joanne Rush, helped to secure the long-term future of an army spouse’s business in her area when it faced closure due to the COVID-19 lockdown. After discussion with DIO management, Joanne arranged for them to cancel the business lease for a room on camp. “DIO also agreed to give her first refusal on the room once lockdown was lifted and the business was back up and running,” explains Joanne. “The spouse was very grateful as she was worried that she couldn’t afford the rent with no income coming in and that it would be offered to someone else.”

The results of a review commissioned by the MOD, which looked into the concerns raised by forces families, has recently been published. AFF welcomes this report, Living in our shoes, which has more than 100 recommendations and echoes many of the concerns that AFF has raised over the years. We look forward to seeing how the MOD will take this report forward to make real differences to the army families we support. To read the report, head to gov.uk

#GOODTOKNOW

AFF'S YEAR AFF’s annual report 2019/20, featuring the key areas where we’ve helped families and made a difference, was published as this issue of Army&You went to press. There are success stories such as additional needs groups and visa support for foreign & Commonwealth families. Plus, we look back at the introduction of Forces Families Jobs, our involvement with rebasing and much more. Go to aff.org.uk to read the full report.

#GOODTOKNOW

PERMANENTLY REPAID

#ONETOWATCH

STEP FORWARD Julie Mounfield, AFF regional manager south, met the Aldershot garrison commander and the local MP for Aldershot, Leo Doherty, to discuss the broadband issues that many families in the area have been telling AFF about during lockdown. It has been an ongoing issue for many years and Doherty has agreed to write a letter to BT to support families’ concerns. Julie says: “Whilst this is not a quick win for AFF yet, I am confident that with the assistance of the garrison commander and our local MP this will be a huge step in the right direction in supporting our army families.”

#AFFTEAMWORK

VOICES HEARD A new report – Listening to Learn, the Voices of Service Children – outlines the findings of a year-long collaborative project, the Year of the Service Child Voice, to which AFF contributed. It’s important reading for professionals and practitioners working with service children. The Service Children’s Progression (SCiP) Alliance’s project, in conjunction with the University of Winchester, highlighted military children’s voices in education. AFF ran a survey last year where we asked you to share your views on the impact of service life and the results fed into the project. Visit scipalliance.org to read more or contact our education & childcare specialist, Anna Hutchinson, at ec@aff.org.uk

There’s reassuring news if you’re posted to Scotland. The MOD has announced that the current arrangement, where military personnel are reimbursed for the additional income tax they pay if their main residence is in the country, will be made permanent. If your soldier is earning £28,443 or more, they’ll receive an average of £850 a year indefinitely. The mitigation measures were brought in two years ago as concerns were raised by organisations, including AFF, about the higher rate of income tax in Scotland deterring troops from being based there. Claire Hallam, AFF money & allowances, says: “I'm pleased that this mitigation is now being made permanent rather than reviewed annually. This change will bring much needed certainty to families and continue to ensure that they are taxed fairly wherever they are based.”

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#AFFWIN

LOCAL LINK FOR SEPARATED SPOUSES Separated and divorced spouses and partners should now have easier access to social housing registers thanks to a change in guidance. Councils are being asked by the government to make local connection requirements exempt should you have to leave your quarter. AFF wrote its first brief on this issue in 2013 and, after continuing to push for change, this is hugely welcome news. Until now, many newlyseparated spouses were being refused access to social housing registers as a result of moving regularly with their serving person. We’re delighted that this vulnerable group can now be given equal consideration with nonmilitary families and we hope that local authorities embrace this new guidance. Do contact us if you're still having issues – housing@aff.org.uk #ONETOWATCH

LONG-TERM VIEW Keep an eye on AFF’s social media later this month to share your experiences of applying for a surplus quarter when you’re in a long-term relationship. It’s all part of AFF’s housing focus for September/October. Head to facebook.com/ armyfamiliesfederation to comment on the post. @ArmyandYou

#AFFWIN

#AFFTEAMWORK

#HOWWEHELP

GOLD STANDARD

GOING LIVE

GETTING HOME

We’re very happy to report that AFF has won a gold award to celebrate our role as an employer in going the extra mile to support army families around the world. The Armed Forces Covenant Employer Recognition Scheme recognises the work we have done to support the employment of military families.

Our foreign & Commonwealth specialist Katherine Houlston took part in a live discussion with Marama Alliance UK – MAUK. 270 people tuned in to hear lots of really useful tips on immigration and visa issues. If you didn’t get the chance to listen, head over to the Alliance's Facebook page to catch up – facebook.com/ MaramaAllianceUK

When lockdown began across the world, one soldier found himself stranded in the Middle East, with his wife about to give birth back in the UK. With flights few and far between, and very costly, he contacted AFF’s East Midlands co-ordinator, Joanne Rush, for help. She contacted service charities to try to seek funding for a flight, and in the end the situation was resolved by the local chain of command. “Without using your channels, the RAF may not have even considered the special R&R as an option," the soldier said. “Thank you very much for all your work to enable me to experience the birth of my first child.”

#AFFTEAMWORK

CONTRACT COLLABORATION AFF continues to be engaged with the development of the new housing allocations and repairs and maintenance contracts (FDIS), which will come into play late 2021. Sara Baade, AFF’s outgoing chief executive, was recently on the panel to help assess the individual bidders for the new contract. AFF’s housing specialist, Cat Calder, remains involved in multiple meetings and continues to reinforce that the needs of families be taken into consideration.

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autumn 2020 Army&You 11

NEWS IN BRIEF

WRAPAROUND PILOT

WHO GETS YOUR VOTE?

Good news! Service children will be entitled to free breakfast and after-school childcare as part of new measures to better support military families. AFF is delighted with the announcement, as you told us that cost was a barrier to accessing childcare in our survey earlier this year. Families in Buckinghamshire will be the first to trial the offer of free ‘wraparound’ childcare for 4- to 11-year-olds as pilot schemes are rolled out in RAF High Wycombe and RAF Halton, followed by Catterick and Plymouth from January 2021. Check gov.uk for details.

Get your nominations in for your Little Trooper of the Month! The award scheme, from charity Little Troopers, celebrates children who have been exceptionally brave, inspiring or extra special, in addition to navigating the day-to-day challenges of military life. Any child with a parent or stepparent serving (regular or reserve) can be put forward. Nominations are welcome from parents, friends, teachers, welfare officers, community workers and anyone who knows an amazing little trooper. Winners will receive a very special customised gold medal, prize and certificate to mark their achievement. Go to littletroopers.net for details.

HANDY HUB

APPLY NOW The MOD Education Support Fund (ESF) is open for applications from state schools, free schools and local authorities until 7 October. Applicants must provide evidence of the impact of mobility and/ or deployment on their school, but with many moves and rebasing activities put on hold due to COVID-19, there’ll be less movement of service pupils than expected. The MOD’s Directorate Children & Young People (DCYP), which administer the ESF, recognises that it will be more difficult to provide the evidence and wants to ensure that schools don’t lose out on vital funding during these unprecedented times. Before applying, DCYP recommends emailing the following regional contacts to discuss any concerns: l England: DCYP-MOD-ESF-Mailbox@mod.gov.uk l Scotland: nationaltransitionsofficerades@gmail.com l Wales: millie.taylor@wlga.gov.uk l Northern Ireland: RC-AWS-N-38X-0mailbox@mod.gov.uk

PARENTAL CHAT Over the summer, the Army Welfare Service became aware of some military families having struggles with parenting during lockdown, so they came up with Parentalk – friendly online sessions to offer support for those of you with primary schoolaged children. The six-week programme starts this September and focuses on building resilience, creating peer support, skills and confidence. Look out for details via your local HIVE blog for course dates.

12 Army&You autumn 2020

CODE CONSULTATION The Department for Education is asking for your opinions on its revisions to the School Admissions Code. The proposed changes are meant to better support service children with in-year admissions, something that AFF has championed for some time. This could have a big impact on service families if you need to move part way through the school year due to being posted. So have your say at consult.education.gov.uk before 16 October.

X-Forces Enterprise (XFE) has been supported by The Royal British Legion to create the Military in Business® Knowledge Exchange Hub specifically for the forces community, where you can tap into free advice and information on things like finance, marketing, suppliers, law and infrastructure. You can also match up with a business captain, an expert in a specific business area, who will offer peer-to-peer support. Head to xfehub.com and see page 23 for more on XFE.

LOCAL LEARNING If you’re thinking of learning a new skill, want to brush up on what you already know or simply wish to fill some time and meet new people, have a look at what your local council has to offer in adult learning. In North Yorkshire, Durham and Rutland, for example, the Adult Learning and Skills Service runs short courses ranging from maths and poetry to sewing machine skills, languages and computing. Many of them are free or heavily discounted if you’re on a low income. A quick search for adult learning and skills will bring up what’s on offer in your area.

BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT If you’re a new mum who needs breastfeeding advice or simply just encouragement from others, tap into the British Army Breastfeeding Network on Facebook. The new group, which is part of the British Army Parents’ Network, aims to support servicewomen and spouses who are breastfeeding, or who are pregnant and aiming to breastfeed. Although the title says ‘army’, all three services are welcome to join. Look it up at facebook.com @ArmyandYou

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FEATURE

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN

Training is part of your soldier’s career from their very first day of service until their last. So is it time for you to take a leaf out of that book?

HATEVER your age, learning new skills can serve as a major boost to your self-esteem, writes Jill Misson. After taking a Level 2 Principles of Business Administration course, Gemma from Bovington says: “I wanted something that I could do from home in my free time that was flexible around our little girl and our working patterns. I did lose myself in being a wife and mum, but this helped me to get my identity back.” AFF’s employment & training specialist Jenna Richardson understands, having completed a Level 2 course recently. She says: “The feeling I got when my certificate came through the door was incredible! I was more emotional than at my university graduation because it was something I’d done for myself, that I’d completed alongside being a working parent and military spouse.” By upskilling, members of an army family can make themselves more employable, Jenna explains. “When you’re going through the recruitment process, it helps to stand out from the crowd. There are many reasons for gaps on CVs, such as overseas postings, short-notice postings or being a stay-at-home parent, but completing training during these times tells employers that you’re keen to keep developing your skillset. Acquiring qualifications may also

improve your family’s quality of life by adding an additional income, which is useful as more serving personnel purchase their own properties.”

Free and flexible Many educational establishments recognise the need for flexibility. The Open University’s Director of Development Jhumar Johnson says: “Our courses are delivered in modules enabling students to study at a time and place that works for them. One of our students even studied in Chinooks as he travelled between operating bases.” Bournemouth & Poole College offers free online courses at foundation level. Nela Vrabie says: “They are flexible around a partner’s unpredictable work pattern and childcare, and can be taken to a new location if you’re posted. All learners are assigned tutors who offer academic support if you’re struggling due to the challenges of military life.” Project JEMS [Jobs & Education for Military Families South West] is making progress. Michelle Claridge says: “One of my key roles is to raise awareness of the issues associated with military life and the challenges that can prevent engagement with education and training. I get out to unit events such as coffee mornings to let families know what is available and to find

out what they would like to see.” Turning up at one drop-in session proved fruitful for Layla Murphy-Plant, she says: “I was a design draftsman but after seven years out of work raising my boys, I couldn’t return to that role. After finding out more about me, my qualifications and experience, they suggested I become a maths lecturer for Project JEMS’ outreach provision. This is the perfect role for me. It fits in with school hours and term-times and I’m building on my existing knowledge, carving out a new career.” The RBLI LifeWorks-Families course has also been well-received. Filo, who took part in Larkhill, says: “It was very thorough and a relaxed atmosphere. The hardest part was fighting the nerves and showing up on the first day.”

Funding your studies Cost is always a deciding factor and many colleges across the UK offer free courses funded by the Education and Skills Funding Agency. Many training providers moved their services online as a result of COVID-19 and made more quality courses available free of charge. The Open University’s free learning site, OpenLearn, saw a surge in visitors during lockdown. There are also bursaries available, including the Royal British Legion’s Employment Grant Scheme. The Open University offers a full

“There are many reasons for gaps on CVs, such as overseas postings, short-notice postings or being a stay-at-home parent, but completing training during these times tells employers that you’re keen to keep developing your skillset.” 14 Army&You autumn 2020

@ArmyandYou

fee waiver through the Disabled Veterans’ Scholarships Fund. BFBS Academy is running free Social Media Spouses courses. Chloe Petrylak says: “I wanted to learn more about the various platforms in order to develop my skills in this amazing world of instant news and communication. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire course and the high level of positive feedback received from the coaches made it even more worthwhile.” Families overseas can face barriers including time differences for online seminars, unreliable internet or lack of childcare. “In some of the larger, more permanent locations there are Army Education Centres, but these are in demise and this is a concern for AFF,” says AFF regional manager, Esther Thomas. “Spousal training is often focused more on recreational courses as opposed to professional career development. The offer has always been very dependent on whether other spouses have the skills and ability to deliver training.”

Forces Families Jobs, Jenna reflects on its success: “The site has helped organisations to understand the difference between spouses’ needs and veterans’ needs. It’s important for employers and training providers not to lump the two together as many often do. We now want to see more collaborative networks where people can support, learn from and mentor each other. Hearing how another spouse tackled a challenge is reassuring and can help immensely with progressing on your own journey.” Investing in your future is important and when there are so many free and flexible courses out there, there’s nothing stopping you from getting started. & See pages 16 to 25 for lots of inspiring learning opportunities.

Access to training The Armed Forces Covenant has highlighted the importance of access to training for military families. A year on from the launch of

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2020 Army&You 15

GOING THE DISTANCE Army wife Kayleigh Griffin shares her story of how by studying through distance learning, she has altered her career path to suit the juggling act of military life…

ASED in Kinloss, Morayshire, Kayleigh has been married to David for ten years and has three boys aged six, eight and ten. Prior to the posting to Scotland she worked in human resources as a technician within a busy payroll department. “I was offered a promotion, which was fantastic for my professional development and kept me motivated during David’s tours in Afghanistan,” explains Kayleigh. After David’s return and with three children under five, something ignited in Kayleigh to reconsider her ambitions. “I felt I was missing precious moments with my boys and found it really difficult to find flexible childcare that met our needs. At one stage I had the

boys split between childcare in three different locations.” After a couple of years trying to hold down a job and witnessing the struggles of other families, Kayleigh decided to set up a childminding service of her own.

Exploring education “I started to look at undergraduate courses, which would enhance my knowledge of child development and educational practices,” she says. “I decided to study for a degree in Childhood and Youth Studies through the University of Highlands and Islands. “The content of the programme was geared towards Scottish legislation and curriculum, but we’d decided quite soon into this posting that we ultimately wanted to settle here permanently, so it made sense to study with a local university.” Studying entirely through distance learning meant Kayleigh didn’t have to find the

“I had the flexibility of devising my own timetables to fit alongside childminding hours, parenting and all my other commitments.”

childcare that she would have needed for a traditional ‘on campus’ degree. “The learning platforms were accessible 24-hours a day, which meant I had the flexibility of devising my own timetables to fit alongside childminding hours, parenting and all my other commitments,” explains Kayleigh.

Overcoming challenges Her biggest challenge was juggling work, family, and academic life, particularly during long deployments. “The majority of my study hours were at night whilst everyone was sleeping, which was far from ideal,” says Kayleigh. “The emotional battle of trying to reserve time for reconnecting as a family whilst my thoughts were occupied by impending deadlines and childminding commitments, was at times quite overwhelming.”

Hard work and determination Despite the challenges, Kayleigh passed with flying colours and would thoroughly recommend distance learning to other military spouses. “Whilst it required me to be creative in my approach and incredibly self-motivated and disciplined throughout, the sense of achievement at the end was indescribable. “The impeccable grades I attained were a testament to the hard work and determination that I ploughed into my studies, and to have achieved those with all the added pressures of military family life makes me really proud.” &

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@ArmyandYou

SPONSORED FEATURE

REMOTE CONTROL Why distance is no longer a barrier to taking charge of your publishing career prospects

HATEVER the ‘new normal’ ultimately means for the worlds of business and academia, having a home office now features on most families’ must-have lists. For those juggling employment or studies with service life, however, the appeal of domestic desk space existed long before lockdown and “pandemic” became common parlance. The nomadic nature of following the flag has always made distance learning and remote working the preferred practice for those with a loved one in uniform, and fortunately there are an increasing number of training providers and employers in agreement. The Publishing Training Centre (PTC) is one such organisation... What courses do you provide that can be tackled, in their entirety, remotely? The PTC offers distance learning courses which can be completed from home or any convenient location – even if you’re on the move. Each course offers the chance to train for a new career in publishing, or to upgrade your existing skills with formal training. From Essential Proofreading and Essential Copy-editing to Creative Copywriting, you’ll go from beginner to qualified professional in one step. Expect to complete a course in six to 12 or so months, when you’ll receive an industry-recognised qualification – which reassures clients that your projects will be completed to a professional standard. With tutor support throughout, and career advice at the end, you’ll be ready to start your professional career in publishing. Before committing to an in-depth course, you can find out if you have an aptitude for proofreading or copy-editing with What is Proofreading? or What is Copyediting? – e-learning modules which can be completed in five to seven hours. How tech savvy do I have to be to complete your course and what computer equipment will I need? www.armyandyou.co.uk

Picture: Designed by Freepik

“The beauty of self-study is that you can work from home, or any other convenient location, in your own time, at your own pace.” No technical skills are needed – just a computer to access the course materials on the PTC’s online learning platform. Adobe Reader and Microsoft Word are required to complete the editorial courses. Don’t be daunted by Adobe. The exercises will ensure you can work efficiently with PDFs. I’m based in an area with incredibly patchy WiFi, will that impact on my ability to complete the course? Not at all. Once the course materials have been downloaded, you can work through the assignments in your own time and at a speed of your choosing. Plus, you can practise your new skills until you feel confident of mastering them. How are your courses structured? Each course has a number of units and assignments to download and complete. Assignments are completed one at a time and assessed by your personal tutor, with the marks contributing to your final result. Can I work at my own pace? The beauty of self-study is that you can work from home, or any other convenient location, in your own time, at your own pace. Some complete the course in the recommended minimum of six months; others take more time. It depends on your commitments and how busy your life is.

How relevant are the skills on offer to jobs outside of the publishing industry? Proofreading, editing and copywriting skills are in demand by any business which publishes content today, on- and offline. They also allow you to work with publishers or independent authors on fiction, or non-fiction, books across a variety of subjects. Or you could work with a commercial organisation – large or small – which publishes a variety of content. For example, newspapers, magazines, charity publications, reports, documents, websites, and marketing and publicity content. You may even choose to focus on a specialist subject – from food and health to travel and science. The choice is endless. How much can I expect to pay? If you study for a career change to be a copywriter, proofreader or copy-editor, you’ll pay from £250 to £495. This includes tutor support, a certificate on completion and inclusion in the PTC’s Freelance Finder, a valuable resource for publishers who need highly-qualified editorial and copywriting freelancers. E-learning modules cost from £29 – a worthwhile investment if you want to discover if proofreading or copy-editing is for you. publishingtrainingcentre.co.uk autumn 2020 Army&You 17

EMPLOYMENT & TRAINING

Whether it’s education, upskilling, personal development or simply learning something new, training at any level is great for your employment prospects, career progression, wellbeing or just filling your time. There are many opportunities created specifically for the service community that you can tap into. forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk has a dedicated section where you can find information and links to free or discounted courses and potential funding. In this edition, we sample some of the fantastic programmes designed just for you…

HE Military Coworking Network is a grassroots initiative of more than 1,000 spouses who are working together to support and help each other maintain their careers. As well as uniting members in a digital community, it runs hubs at some military bases to provide somewhere to go to work and study together, make friends and inspire and assist each other. Army&You spoke to two military spouses using their local coworking hub in Leuchars to study. Here’s what they had to say… Dee Bola (pictured with her family above right) has been a military spouse for more than a decade. Her job at the student accommodation in St Andrews meant she was interacting with students from all over the world and this, she says, was a motivating factor and inspiration to further her studies. “There were instances of self-doubt because of the length of time I’d been away from education. However, I still decided to take on the challenge and to my delight I was offered a place at the University of St Andrews.” In 2017, Dee joined the first coworking hub in the UK – and this would prove to be a positive and welcome change.

Ahead of the competition Louise Grace has been married to Liam for

18 Army&You autumn 2020

THE LOVE OF LEARNING

16 years and has lived in four countries. She’s just completed a Masters in Education with Dundee University, using the hub for her studies. She says: “During our last assignment overseas, I realised that getting back onto the UK employment ladder would mean a great deal of competition. Most people have a pristine CV with consecutive employment, unlike mine. I decided that a MEd may improve my chances of getting my CV noticed over the gaps in employment.”

Why use the hub? “Studying at home can be very challenging, thoughts of carrying out my daily chores and other household duties have been a distraction,” says Dee. “The coworking hub is a welcome break from my hectic schedule and provides a totally different environment and atmosphere. The strong and positive support network is refreshing and encouraging.” “The hub offered a quiet space where I had nothing to do except focus on my coursework in the company of like-minded people,” says Louise. “The ready-made office space made it ideal to turn up with my laptop and textbooks and study. It was nice just to be around other supportive people and there are inspirational quotes

decorating the walls to keep you motivated.” The hub allows people to focus and for Dee it was a huge boost to her studies: “The past four years of juggling study, work and domestic duties was not easy. The sacrifice, commitment and hard work came to fruition this summer when I graduated with a Master of Arts (Combined Studies).”

Highly recommended “The hub is a beneficial resource to our military community and I would certainly recommend it to others,” says Louise (pictured above). “The sense of achievement for yourself and those around you creates a positive atmosphere; encouraging and promoting self-improvement.” “I’ve made some amazing friends and the mutual bond, understanding and respect in the hub has really boosted my morale, selfconfidence and awareness,” adds Dee.

Find out more There are seven coworking spaces open and another 20 in the pipeline. To explore the online community and find your local hub, join facebook.com/groups/ militarycoworkingcommunity @ArmyandYou

SOCIAL SQUAD SUCCESS KELLY Wales has been a military spouse since 2009. She’s had seven house moves across five counties and several changes in career – from an account manager for an online property company to an assistant headteacher. Here she talks about how being on the Social Media Spouses course, run by BFBS, re-ignited her career… “Just over a year ago I decided that I wanted a career change. Whilst teaching works for many alongside military life, moving house every 18 months and trying to find new employment was in all honesty too difficult, contrary to my initial expectations. Where I was lucky enough to find a job, I could only commit for 12 months before having to make my apologies and start the process all over again. “I started pursuing ideas but where to start, who could I speak to? Surely there were others out there who had lived a similar experience and were ready for change but in need of an initial helping hand. “I looked on military bases and online for communities of like-minded military wives, but I couldn’t find any, so I decided to start my own! I called the community ‘Military Mums in Business’, a support group

for military wives who are juggling selfemployment and raising a family. “At the time #SMSpouses launched I was studying various online courses to improve my social media skills, but they were not interactive or assessed in any way. So, when I came across a tweet by BFBS introducing the #SMSpouses course I sat down the following evening and wrote my application.

Joining the first squad “When I was told that I had a space on #alpha course I was over the moon! As both of my children are school age, I was able to work through the course during the day and in the evening if needed, which worked well for me. “We had a Facebook group for our ‘squad’ which was great, because if we had a question someone would be on hand to help. “The course eases you in gently, the assignments are broken down into easyto-follow steps and the course mentors are always on hand. The assignments cover all aspects of the different social media platforms, focusing on purpose, functionality and usability. “Some assignments take longer than

others, generally I had a week to complete each one, however, some took far longer. “One of my favourites was designing and running Facebook ads. The aim of each assignment is to give you the necessary resources, graphics, copy and plan needed to run a successful social media campaign. “If it weren’t for the #SMSpouses course I wouldn’t be where I am today; as Community Engagement Manager for the Military Coworking Network. I have also been able to grow the Military Mums in Business support network in my spare time. “The #SMSpouses Facebook group always has content to keep you up-to-date with the latest social media trends and information. I still call upon the advice of the course mentors. Join the #squad – you won’t regret it!” l #SMSpouses is a free social media marketing training programme, exclusively for the spouses and partners of British military personnel. For more information, visit sms.bfbs.com

EMPLOYMENT EMPATHY LifeWorks-Families’ employability support programme is completely free for anyone in the forces community. The initiative can help you find your first job, secure a job in the UK after an overseas posting, change career path, manage redundancy or a change in circumstances. Whatever your situation, the experienced team can help you. It’s open to any military spouse/partner and entitled family members aged 18+ as well as veterans’ families.

How can they help? The online learning management system allows military families around the world to register and take advantage of tailored www.armyandyou.co.uk

employability training. Once registered, you can work at your own pace from home. They also offer a helpful oneto-one phone or Zoom/Skype sessions with a vocational assessor who can take you through a range of psychometric profiling tools that will help you identify new career paths or even enhance your current position. Sessions cover: l CV writing, covering letters and completing application forms l Identifying a suitable and fulfilling career path l Interviews – including different types of interview and practice l Confidence building and coaching for change l Unlocking the hidden jobs market

l Recognising your skills. Millie’s parents both served in the army, so she has spent the majority of her life moving around. She’s been to eight different schools and also boarding school for a few years to establish stability whilst her parents were on deployments. Millie, pictured above, says: “I’ve felt so lost and confused, unsure what direction to go in after finishing school. The employability coaches used the assessment tools to identify what my skills are, what I enjoy

and the type of career I am suited to. As a result, they’ve helped me search for opportunities and make sure that my CV is up-to-date and suitable for the jobs I’m applying for. “I have an interview coming up for an apprenticeship so I’m getting some support and guidance around that process too. “I would recommend this to anyone who needs any sort of help with employment. “I’ve also been able to use the online learning system to work through materials in between my Skype sessions.”

Find out more Check out the LifeWorksFamilies online platform – wearelifeworks.org.uk/families or call 0800 319 6844. autumn 2020 Army&You 19

Photo: Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

MENTORING MOTIVATION Sometimes the best way to learn is from others. Having a mentor can grow your confidence and provide a source of practical support, encouragement and advice. Here at AFF, new starters are paired with buddies to help them settle in, and many employers now offer formal coaching in the workplace. A mentor is described in the Oxford Dictionary as an ‘experienced and trusted advisor’, and there are many organisations who offer exactly that to service families. We explore some of the great initiatives you can sign up to… 20 Army&You autumn 2020

F YOU’RE a job-seeking military spouse or partner, consider tapping into the resources offered by RFEA – The Forces Employment Charity. Following a successful pilot scheme, it’s extending its Families Programme thanks to a generous grant from Lloyd’s Patriotic Fund. The programme was launched to help spouses and partners of serving and ex-forces personnel into employment with the support of a dedicated families employment advisor. The boost in funding will now enable more advisors to help you find meaningful employment. Danielle Fitzwilliam (pictured below), whose partner is in the army, says: “We have two young children so when he’s away it makes it hard to juggle shift patterns with school runs. This has an impact on how much work I can commit to,

which then knocks on to our financial situation. “I came across RFEA through a parent forum. My advisor, Lee Johnston, was a breath of fresh air – she understood where I was coming from. After a discussion about my situation, she sent me all sorts of jobs which worked around my needs, including jobs based from home, or those with flexible working hours. “When I got an interview, Lee coached me in how to answer well during an interview. I’m so thankful for her invaluable support – nothing was ever too much trouble. I now have a superb role in a great company that offers the flexibility I need.” Lee adds: “As a military spouse I understand first-hand many of the unique challenges that come with trying to find employment, so the support I offer can be very much tailored to the individual.” The Families Programme works closely with Forces Families Jobs and uses RFEA’s network of more than 9,000 employers who actively recruit from the service community. The UK-wide programme is also open to divorced spouses and widows/widowers, subject to eligibility. l Go to rfea.org.uk/families for more details. @ArmyandYou

EASING THE WAY TO CIVVY STREET HOW can you ensure you fulfil your potential in civvy street when your soldier leaves the army? SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity, provides a mentoring service to help motivate, support and empower you as your family embarks on your new life outside the military. The charity’s network of mentors provide long-term, one-to-one, face-to-face support during transition and for up to two years after your soldier has hung up their uniform for the final time. Mentors can help with confidence and relationship issues, particularly with the differences between the military and civilian environment. They also support those of you who may need to leave the family home following a relationship breakdown. If you would like to find out more, head to ssafa.org.uk/get-help

John’s story After 14 years of service, John, who is

married with four children, was medically discharged after sustaining life-changing injuries in an accident. He felt as if he had been stripped of his identity and was becoming isolated. Due to his injuries and mental health, the family were put under considerable stress. John was registered for council housing, but it was a slow process and the family received an eviction notice just before Christmas. The additional strain on the family resulted in a near separation and the

children had stopped engaging with him and calling him Dad. John turned to the SSAFA mentoring service. His mentor provided the support, encouragement and advice he needed. By providing a listening ear, John’s mentor became a sounding board and was able to support the family too. He also received advice and guidance to attend court regarding the eviction notice. It was overturned and extended until after the festive period, when the family were finally offered a home. John and his family were supported for 14 months. Their mentor was able to help them navigate the system, guide them on how to work with the council and witness them move into their new family home, all whilst ensuring that John was receiving the specialist support he required. He’s now able to look for work. “Thank you for giving back my Dad,” said one of John’s sons.

WHAT’S YOUR BRIGHT IDEA? SUPPORTING the Unsung Hero, the free business start-up programme from the University of Wolverhampton and Black Country Chamber of Commerce, is helping people like you to turn bright ideas into successful businesses. COVID-19 meant all faceto-face and on-base training was paused, but its team of expert instructors made it their mission to provide the military community with up-to-date business advice. “It has been an incredibly difficult time for the selfemployed and an even greater challenge for so many of our delegates juggling service family demands with home schooling, deployments and postings, however, the resilient nature of the armed forces community never ceases to amaze us,” says

SUH programme manager Sarah Walker (left in photo). “We’ve seen an increase in demand for our future courses from aspiring business owners, and many of our current delegates have taken the opportunity to refocus their business goals or introduce new products and services. The positive, hardworking approach from our delegates continues to inspire us and we look forward to welcoming new members as we start delivering physical cohorts again.”

Morale boost Army reservist Hannah Illingworth (right in photo), owner of HI Virtual, explains how doing the SUH course gave her the confidence to change direction: “HI Virtual is now going from strength to strength. I’ve established a great set of clients

“We’ve seen an increase in demand for our future courses from aspiring business owners.” www.armyandyou.co.uk

FOR EXISTING MEMBERS: l Weekly cuppa and chat – informal networking group l Fortnightly group mentoring – strategic business networking l Extra mentoring available to help through this difficult time starting your own business’ events l Sharing news and business updates l Supportive and informative posts in closed Facebook group.

FOR NEW MEMBERS: l New online ‘introduction to

that I really enjoy working with and I’m able to work around the needs of my service family life. “It has been reassuring to know that the SUH team are there to answer questions and offer support – the peer network is great for boosting morale.”

l Individual business advice available on request l Advanced bookings now being taken for courses l Venues available at MOD bases throughout the UK and overseas.

Want to join? SUH is a four-day training course followed by a tenmonth mentoring programme and it’s free to service families. Head to wlv.ac.uk/ supportingtheunsunghero for more details. autumn 2020 Army&You 21

CAREER CONFIDENCE The importance of training and development for entering, or reentering, the workplace should not be underestimated but for many of you it can be hard to know where to start. Recruit for Spouses (RfS) founder and CEO, Heledd Kendrick, tells us how they can help... RfS Career Academy provides free support and guidance on a one-to-one basis to ensure you can feel confident about your own ability and return to the workplace ready to hit the ground running. Here’s how we do it: Coaching: If you’ve had a career break and are looking to get back to work but are unsure of the steps to take, or maybe you lack the self-confidence to make the big decisions, RfS can help you to consider your options, recognise your skills and realise your goals. The programme harnesses the knowledge of volunteer professionals who are employees of our trusted partners. They understand the barriers you can face, and they can help you overcome them. Mentoring: If your job hunting has stopped in its tracks, a job offer has been withdrawn, you were recently furloughed or even made redundant, our mentoring scheme provides you with honest guidance from experienced professionals to help you take your career to the next level. Training: We offer you upskilling opportunities through selected partners, such as our Facebook sponsored digital skills workshop – an in-depth look at social media and its place in business strategy. We also run insight days on interview techniques, CV design and personal brand workshops. Plus, discussions on how to recognise your values and how they interlink with organisation cultures. Support material: We provide free, downloadable CVs written specifically for people who may have gaps in their employment history, wish to highlight volunteer roles or focus more on their skills. There are also resources to help with LinkedIn profile building and more. l RfS can help you take control. Contact them via recruitforspouses.co.uk

22 Army&You autumn 2020

CONNECTED IN BUSINESS JESS Sands is no stranger to the challenges of starting a business. After giving up her career to live the military life, she set up her own company and is passionate about helping other service spouses and partners do the same. She initially started The InDependent Spouse – a series of fun, informative podcasts exploring the world of business featuring inspiring military entrepreneurs – which evolved into the Milspo business network. We caught up with Jess to find out more…

Tell us about your reasons for creating the Milspo business network. It started as a way to connect the amazing guests that feature on The InDependent Spouse podcast to the greater community of Milspo business owners. The network has grown massively so we wanted a new name to reflect how inclusive it is. Milspo stands for Military Spouses, Partners and Other-halves. What type of activities do you do? We connect online and offline through events, training and mentoring. We often organise ‘ask the expert’ training and more generalised support to help us navigate through military life. How do you mentor business owners? The Milspo network is all about connection, no matter where you’re posted. If you can find someone, just like you, achieving their dreams despite the challenges of military life, you can be inspired and mentored by them. How have you managed to adapt during the coronavirus pandemic? We started weekly online Milspo meetups – a chance to have a friendly chat and

check-in to make sure that the community was okay. We’re hoping to evolve into real-life meet-ups in time. My advice to others is to take forward all of those things learnt during lockdown and apply it to how your business is now. Maybe you became aware of how precious time with family is, maybe you regained your love of reading, or you took your business offerings online. Whatever it is, incorporate that into this new normal. Make sure you’re running your business, not that your business is running you. l Join the community at milspo.co.uk Army spouse Carrie (pictured below left) runs Edith Limited – a personal matchmaking service and singles network – and is one of the many beneficiaries of Jess’ endeavours. “I highly recommend Milspo catch-ups – the amount of knowledge that’s shared collectively is an amazing resource that’s worth so much,” she says. “Milspo has welcomed and supported me, enabling my confidence to rocket and given me the idea to launch into virtual events as well as to specialise my business.” Military wives and SWiRL Global owners Steph, a swim teacher, and Rachael, a designer, add: “Milspo is an amazing network who not only understand the struggles of running and setting up a business but also military life and the highs and lows that come with that. “We especially like the weekly catch-ups to check in with everyone, celebrate the highs and assist anyone that is struggling because every business has issues.” @ArmyandYou

BOLSTER YOUR BUSINESS HEROPRENEURS is a charity that provides free business mentoring to entrepreneurs from the military community. We pitched a few questions to find out how they can help you… What is Heropreneurs? It’s a community of mentors, all of whom are successful people in business, that support military partners through all aspects of their business journey. It also celebrates the successes of the military business community with annual awards. Lucy Mans (right), owner of Family Rule, and winner of the 2019 ‘Military Partner in Business Award’, says: “Winning the award was just amazing! What a brilliant way to recognise military partners. “Even without a business to run, life as a military partner is no walk in the park, right? To feel like I was being seen and a spotlight shone on my business was just wonderful.” How have Heropreneurs helped throughout COVID-19? Mentors have continued to deliver support remotely and it has also developed an online events programme of workshops, webinars and networking, with support from Goldman Sachs and Warwick Business School. Mercedes Notton-Hill (above right), winner

Prize winner turns prize giver: Check out Lucy’s fantastic competition on page 62

giving me the confidence to believe in what I have created. This confidence has helped us to weather the storm of COVID-19.”

“Even without a business to run, life as a military partner is no walk in the park, right?” of the 2019 Warwick Business School Award, and owner of Solstice Domestic Angels adds: “Winning the award has changed the way I look at my business,

What advice do they have for business owners post coronavirus? Heropreneurs chairman Peter Mountford says: “Business owners need to be sure they are accessing all the government support available. The military community possess unique skills that benefit them hugely in business. As a military partner, you will have had to learn to be resilient and adaptable, with great problem-solving skills. These will stand you in good stead as you seek to adapt. We are here to offer support, so please do get in touch.” l Go to heropreneurs.co.uk for further info.

DISCOVER YOUR ENTERPRISE In March, X-Forces Enterprise (XFE) adapted all face-toface training and networking sessions to become virtual events in anticipation of the COVID-19 lockdown. “We had been planning a more blended approach to training,” says founder Ren Kapur MBE, “and coronavirus certainly accelerated this.” The switch to online courses has particularly benefited those who find travelling a challenge. It meant people like Carrie and her husband, who are based in different parts of the country, were able to tackle their business planning together. Carrie says: “I thought it was www.armyandyou.co.uk

awesome, I even have one of the attendees designing my logo as we speak!” As the official MOD and military charity partner for enterprise training and skills, XFE provides: l Self-employment discovery workshops l Business start-up skills l A business continuity masterclass l Military in Business® Network Events. XFE holds regular regional networking events hosted by successful business owners. These virtual gatherings are a great opportunity for entrepreneurs – both

established and aspiring – to come together and share ideas and experiences.

Pride in the community “We take immense pride in supporting the wider forces community,” adds Ren, “and were delighted when The Royal British Legion awarded us a new contract to offer training

specifically for service spouses and family members. We also launched our online Knowledge Exchange Hub – a simple to use, one-stop-shop for all things selfemployment. Enterprise learning isn’t a one-off programme, it’s a journey of learning and doesn’t have an end.” l Visit x-forces.com to find out more. autumn 2020 Army&You 23

Image: Designed by rawpixel.com / Freepik

THE RIGHT TO LEARN AFF’s F&C team often gets enquiries from those of you who are non-UK nationals and wish to study in the UK. Some of you, and your children, have had to overcome unnecessary hurdles. We’re here to help... WHAT IS STUDENT SUPPORT? Student support is the name given to financial assistance provided by the government to eligible students in the UK. It’s composed of a loan for tuition fees, a loan for living costs and a non-repayable maintenance grant.

WHAT ARE THE ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS? For an undergraduate degree: l you must be settled in the UK on the first day of the first academic year of the course; and l on the first day of the first academic year of the course you must be ordinarily resident in England; and l you must also have been ordinarily resident in the UK and Islands for the full three-year period before the first day of the first academic year of the course. There are different requirements for EU nationals and family members of UK

24 Army&You autumn 2020

nationals, and for those of you undertaking further education courses.

SETTLED STATUS If you have Indefinite Leave to Enter or Indefinite Leave to Remain, you are considered settled. It’s very important that you have your ILE/ILR on the first day of the first academic year of the course. If it’s issued after this date, you’ll most likely be refused, so apply in plenty of time.

DOES MY TIME SPENT IN THE UK WITHOUT A VALID VISA COUNT? No. The regulations state that a person is not to be treated as ordinarily resident in a place unless that person lawfully resides in that place.

DOES MY TIME SPENT ON AN OVERSEAS ASSIGNMENT COUNT? Yes. All time on an overseas assignment

should be counted as residence in the UK.

CAN MY CHILD ACCESS FUNDING IF THEY HAVE LIVED OVERSEAS? AFF is aware of some forces children experiencing difficulties when applying for student finance. Cases may be referred to the Home Office, which can lead to a delay as they await their response. AFF is concerned that the discretion given to service families is not fully understood. For some, this has required you to provide detailed and unnecessary evidence. which shouldn’t be needed. AFF is aware that some cases can take up to a year to resolve, leading to students having to leave their course because they can’t afford the costs and we will continue to raise this issue.

If you have any difficulties, do contact our team via aff.org.uk @ArmyandYou

CASE STUDIES Our F&C specialist, Katherine Houlston, has worked on many cases including one service child who was refused because she had been adopted from Ghana at the age of eight. Despite having lived with her adopted parents in Cyprus and then Germany for ten years, Student Finance England (SFE) decided that she couldn’t count this time as UK residence as she hadn’t originally been resident in the UK. Another child was refused because she couldn’t provide Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) stamps to cover her whole time in Germany. The appeal took over a year, after which SFE claimed that she hadn’t been lawfully resident in Germany, closed the case and also suggested that they may need to reconsider the previous funding she had received for earlier courses.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Unfortunately, AFF’s attempts to resolve the issue were unsuccessful. Katherine says: “Over the past ten years in this job, I have supported many families with a number of issues, but

what affected me most was my inability to help these children who just want to get a degree like many others their age, and yet were prevented from doing so purely because of their parent’s service.”

“What affected me most was my inability to help these children who just want to get a degree, and yet were prevented from doing so purely because of their parent’s service.”

autumn 2020 Army&You 25

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MONEY

CAR TROUBLE In 2019, 2.4 million car buyers opted to get mobile using a finance agreement such as a personal contract purchase, personal contract hire or hire purchase. Doing so can be a great way to pay for your next set of wheels, but if you’re posted overseas while your contract is still running, it can cause some major issues. AFF’s money & allowances specialist, Claire Hallam, explains…

ITH these types of contract, the finance company owns the car, so it can refuse permission for it to be taken overseas. I’ve been contacted by many army families who’ve had this problem. It leaves you with limited options – paying the car off before taking it, or leaving the car in the UK and continuing to pay monthly, which may not be affordable, especially if you need to finance another car overseas.

What can you do? Firstly, engage with the finance

company. It’s important to highlight that you’re an armed forces family and explain that you’re being posted overseas for service reasons rather than by choice. Check if the company is signed up to the Armed Forces Covenant and, if it’s not, tell them about it and advise how the situation disadvantages you under the Covenant.

If they still refuse, we have been able to engage with some companies who have then subsequently let the family take the car overseas, providing it’s adequately insured. However, not all cases have been successful, so it’s important to think about what you’d do if you reach a dead end. Finally, if you’re considering

DRIVING LESSON If you do take your car overseas, remember that certain exemptions are in place with some insurers, which allow you to keep your no-claims bonus for up to three years. More info and the list of insurers can be found at abi.org.uk

buying a car in the future, ask the finance company for their policy on taking the vehicle overseas on a posting before you purchase.

Tackling the problem The Armed Forces Covenant team is aware of the issue and is currently engaging with the Finance Leasing Association to develop a protocol for service personnel. This is likely to make it easier to take cars bought on finance to some European countries. Email me at moneyallowances@aff.org.uk for more info.

INV£ST IN YOUR FUTURE IF YOU’RE thinking of starting a college or university course, one of your main concerns is bound to be how you’re going to pay for it. The government website is a good place to start. Search for student finance to find a step-by-step guide to the eligibility criteria, terms and conditions and how to apply. You can also follow links if you live in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, where there are different processes. You should apply to the funding provider where your soldier lived before they www.armyandyou.co.uk

enlisted – the Student Awards Agency Scotland, Student Finance Wales, the Student Loans Company England or Student Finance Northern Ireland. Unfortunately, the rules can sometimes make this quite complicated and the offers can vary between providers, so please do get in touch if you need some help. Take a look at aff.org.uk to find information on the grants and bursaries available to service families. MoneySavingExpert also has a fantastic guide on its website.

USEFUL LINKS What if I’m overseas? After much campaigning, AFF was pleased to see changes to student funding rules that meant that service families overseas are not excluded from accessing a student loan if they are not resident in the UK on the first day of their chosen course. So, you should be able to apply without any issues. If you have any questions

• gov.uk – Student Finance England • saas.gov.uk – The Student Award Agency for Scotland • studentfinanceni.co.uk – Student Finance Northern Ireland • studentfinancewales.co.uk – Student Finance Wales • moneysavingexpert.com/family/ grants-education

or concerns, do contact AFF’s employment & training specialist, Jenna Richardson, at employmenttraining@aff.org.uk autumn 2020 Army&You 27

AN EXCEPTIONAL EVACUATION

ILITARY families are used to separation and lastminute changes, but what happens when a whole community is given just a few days to pack up and leave an overseas posting on a temporary evacuation? As COVID-19 started to sweep across the globe and the UK government was advising people to ‘stay safe, stay home’, life took a different turn for more than 130 families assigned to Kenya and Nepal. They were put on 48 hours’ notice to move, whilst arrangements were made to house them back in the UK. With the first families arriving over the Easter weekend and the UK already in lockdown, it was a challenge. Esther Thomas, AFF’s overseas regional manager, caught up with some of the families affected to hear some of their reflections on this exceptional evacuation…

NEPAL Sarah Cooper and her husband are part of British Gurkhas Nepal (BGN). Repatriation flights were organised speedily and with a luggage allowance of just 30kg per person and all other belongings and furniture remaining, Sarah says it wasn’t easy. “It was extremely difficult to pack just one bag with your most important and practical possessions for an indefinite stay.” BGN spouse, Rekha Gurung, adds: “I was

Home from home: Amrita Okhrabu and daughter at their temporary SFA in Larkhill

28 Army&You autumn 2020

NAIROBI, KENYA Sarah Gilbody, whose husband is part of the British Peace Support Team (Africa) Loan Service, explains. “Families were split over several flights and we were on the first flight out. It was a strange, anxious time as I didn’t know when we would return and I left my husband there, uncertain when we’d see him again,” she says. Back in the UK, Sarah (pictured centre) chose to stay with family. “Our son Thomas is loving living with his four cousins and having them to play and sometimes argue with! Thomas’ school in Kenya has been very supportive and he joins the online lessons with the same enthusiasm as if he were there, although with the time difference I’m not enjoying the 6am starts,” she adds. Thomas admits: “I do miss my classmates but can see them most days on Zoom and we’ve all said we’ll have a big party when

very concerned about leaving my husband and extended family in Nepal. I felt vulnerable flying to the UK as I don’t have any family there.” To alleviate the uncertainty, families and the chain of command worked together, with empathy, patience and consideration. “Questions were collated, which gave command an understanding of our concerns,” says Sarah. “Q&As were distributed regularly and it proved to be a very effective way of ensuring that everyone was on the same page.” Top concerns were around health and safety during transit, separation from family, schooling and arrangements for pets left behind. Sarah reflects that the whole situation was, and still is, overwhelming. “Supporting each other and receiving calm, measured responses from the chain of command helped. They have done, and are still doing, a fantastic job of supporting us all in Larkhill and scattered around the UK. “We were amazed at how much had been put together in terms of accommodation, furniture, SIM cards and a groceries starter pack. It really helped to give us a ‘soft landing’.” The Salisbury Plain community and

things are back to normal.” Families have been keeping in touch with each other from their new locations. “We’ve had virtual coffee mornings and an online quiz and we’re getting weekly updates from the HQ on life in Nairobi. It’s been important to keep in touch with others as we’re all going through this together,” Sarah concludes.

generous neighbours donated items and helped out. “Community spirit has been amazing despite the lockdown and social-distancing rules,” concludes Sarah. “We are hoping to return to Nepal as soon as it’s safe but in the meantime, as is often the case, we rely on each other and the true resilience of army families to get through this together.”

Essential items: Anjana Tamu passes the time at the airport reading spring’s edition of Army&You

@ArmyandYou

“AFF has been an outstanding partner in this unique and unprecedented situation. Their advice at local level and their agency with many dependencies in the care and support of our families has been so important. This partnership continues in our efforts to regularise the situation so we can return our families to normality as soon as possible.” – CTG Brigadier Chris Barry

“Our mum and dad had to pack up our entire house and we had to leave lots of things behind, including our dog, Titus, who we really miss.” – Lewis & Oliver Fitzsimmons (pictured below right) “Having to leave our home so quickly was an emotional whirlwind. Leaving our dogs was the most heart-breaking thing I’ve had to do. We’re just trying to stay positive and are keeping Kenya in our thoughts.” – The Bowe-Mckay family

“Throughout the repatriation I regularly communicated with my local AFF co-ordinator, Dawn. She kept me up-to-date and always had a positive view on a difficult situation. Her attitude really encouraged me to be positive.” – The Gutkowski family

“We left Kenya at such short notice and many of our dependants don’t hold British passports. AFF passed my concerns to Regional Command and it’s been good to see those families being represented at the highest level.” – BATUK UWO, Capt Paul Wilkes

“The process of evacuation ran very smoothly and before long we were in our lovely temporary home on Salisbury Plain. We feel blessed that we have been cared for so well. Wiltshire is beautiful but we can’t wait to be back in Kenya – our hearts are still in Nanyuki.” – The Messenger family

“The move has been tough but once we arrived in Larkhill the community spirit was amazing and everyone just pulled together. The housing is great and donations and kindness from others have been overwhelming.” – Kim Cooke

NANYUKI, KENYA AFF’s Kenya co-ordinator, Dawn Fitzsimmons (pictured below), was living in Nanyuki when the evacuation started. “It was an anxious time for many families, who were forced to pack up their homes leaving their possessions and vehicles behind, and for some, there was the added

www.armyandyou.co.uk

trauma of having to leave their pets and serving spouses behind. “Not everyone was able to leave as a whole family unit, and some were evacuated earlier than others with just days’ or hours’ notice,” says Dawn. Returning to the UK raised a myriad questions and there were added complications for those with immigration issues and individuals identified as high risk. “We’re not all in the same boat, but we’re in the same storm,” she says. “There was also an immense sense of responsibility and obligation to the local Nanyuki community and concerns about the impact that families leaving might bring.” There remains uncertainty for British Army Training Unit Kenya (BATUK) families, with diverse and complex situations, but despite this, a real sense of community spirit has emerged. “The kindness and generosity shown by many has lifted us. The army has pulled together and shown the BATUK community that they care and are here for us. It’s been a whirlwind, but we remain optimistic about

what the future holds,” adds Dawn. The BATUK Commander adds: “When the COVID emergency becomes a distant memory I will be left with an overriding sense of pride in the whole BATUK community. It has been a privilege to witness people get on with the task in hand as decisions outside of their control wreak havoc all around them. “In addition to the professional pride in the men and women who serve here, there will be a heightened pride in the families. We had a very short timeline to work to and everyone just got on with their part in it.” autumn 2020 Army&You 29

Home office: Merijn and her children settle in for a day’s work

CURBING CORONAVIRUS CAREER CONCERNS Maintaining spousal employment is important to AFF, no matter where you’re posted. In Germany, AFF’s co-ordinator Lindsay McCran is delighted to report on some positive support employees have received during the COVID-19 pandemic…

UCILLE Kirk, Head of Agency for GEO HR, says: “The recent redundancy programme followed quickly by the pandemic had put an unusual strain on all the Locally Employed Contractors (LEC) employees. “But with the effective relationship between them and AFF Germany, concerns were highlighted and addressed with minimal delay.” Letters of reassurance were sent out, saying ‘now is the time to look after yourself and your families; there is no need to worry about your pay or your jobs; LEC HR is here to help and advise you’. “I would rather be asked the

same question a hundred times than have any family worrying over work-related issues,” adds Lucille. Employee Merijn Boyle says: “Having just started a new job with DIO, and then being told the schools were closing until further notice, I was worried how this would impact my job security and pay.” She was relieved that GEO Labour Support Unit supported her to focus on her children. Employees were informed that no special leave needed to be taken; salaries were secure and people were given the tools to work from home. “Knowing that my job would be safe and I would still be paid

Looking for your next role in Germany? Forces Families Jobs is the go-to place for the latest vacancies and training opportunities – forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk

30 Army&You autumn 2020

“Knowing I would still be paid helped make this unsettled time a bit easier.”

helped make this unsettled time a bit easier,” explains Merijn. Another local employer, NAAFI, put measures in place to not only continue to support the community by establishing enhanced services like hot food delivery and home delivery for those self-isolating, but to also rally around its employees. It offered flexible/reduced hours or work-from-home solutions where practical to fit around childcare responsibilities and school closures. The majority of employees have been able to continue to work, and NAAFI has continued to pay all its staff their full salary regardless. Mary Pittuck, HR Manager, HQ NAAFI, says: “People are our priority, whether that’s our employees or the community we serve, so it is critical to us that our employees feel supported through this period and beyond.” @ArmyandYou

Serving our countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heroes Taking care of your family, so you can take care of us We provide our services to the military nationwide More than 20 years of expertise We charge no broker fee to anyone in the military Find out more about our mortgage broker services by contacting our team on

0161 959 0166 or info@charleslouis.co.uk Charles Louis Homes & Mortgages 4 Bolton Street, Ramsbottom, Lancashire BL0 9HX

Find us on

charleslouis.co.uk

MAJOR

MOVEMENTS

Image: © MOD Crown copyright

It’s safe to say that the north of England’s military community is one that’s used to change, but this year and next will be a busy one for families moving in or out of the area as Op Faran – the name given to the army 2020 moves – comes into effect. The rebasing programme has been delayed by the current health pandemic, but it’s about to get going again, and AFF is on hand to help you through the process… 32 Army&You autumn 2020

@ArmyandYou

N CATTERICK Garrison, 2 YORKS are moving to Episkopi in Cyprus and the Royal Dragoon Guards are heading to Warminster, Wiltshire. Meanwhile, 1 YORKS are coming to Catterick along with The Scots Guards from Aldershot. From the north west, 2 LANCS are off to Pirbright, being replaced by 2 MERCIAN who are returning from Cyprus. AFF’s regional managers and coordinators have been working together with all units to ensure you’re fully prepared for your move. We’ve attended movement briefs, unit recces and held regular drop-in clinics for families overseas, in Wiltshire and in the north before lockdown, and we’ve continued to support you virtually over the summer.

Rebasing knowledge Since starting as AFF’s rebasing coordinator, Carole Rudd has dedicated a large amount of her time to liaising with units. “It’s important that the whole community feel supported, with a friendly face they can go to if issues arise,” she says. “Working alongside the AFF north team, we visited Catterick and York to chat

with units rebasing to the Salisbury Plain Training Area (SPTA), which will hopefully help the community.” Carole was part of the summer 2019 rebasing programme moving from Germany to SPTA. Here, Carole shares some top tips she learned from her own experiences... l Do your admin – it’s your responsibility to cancel any existing contracts attached to the house such as utilities including your landline and WiFi, subscriptions, window cleaner etc. Failure to do this could see you incur extra charges. The post office redirection service (at a cost) is useful to capture any mail after you’ve moved – royalmail.com/redirect l School places – as soon as you have your address, apply through your new area’s local authority. Information on schools can be found on their websites or via the HIVE. If your child has special educational needs and/or a disability (SEND), it’s worth contacting the new school for a chat with their SENCO. Keep your child’s current school in the loop too; they can help with the transition and this can help settle your

Don’t forget to...

l Renew your Continuity of Education Allowance eligibility certificate. l If your child has SEND, register with the Children’s Education Advisory Service (CEAS) – DYCP-CEASEnquiries@mod.gov.uk

l Visit Forces Families Jobs to look for work in advance. FFJ can also help with your CV – forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk l Apply for a certificate of good conduct if you’re coming back from overseas – more at aff.org.uk

l Claim NI credits if you’ve been based overseas – go to gov.uk

child in. Register any additional needs and/ or disability with AGAI 108. l Healthcare – ensure you de-register from your current doctor and dentist, requesting your NHS number for registration at your new location. Go to nhs.co.uk

Housing hints

l Use the Amey website – ameydefenceservices/housing l Follow the guidance.

l Use the correct paint, don’t patch paint. l Remove pre-payment meters. l Ask the HIVE for details of cleaning companies. l Pack up trampolines and swings and lay down seeds early to give the grass a chance to grow back.

Avoid charges

l Keep a copy of your move-in paperwork and 14-day report. l Fill in your 14-day report by noting any damage to the property. Send it to the address on the form within the timeline. l Take photographs of any damage

www.armyandyou.co.uk

and the state of furnishings at move-in. Make sure these are dated online or on the image, attach them to your 14-day report and keep a copy. l Ensure that your address is on every sheet of paperwork at move-out and that both you and the accommodation officer sign each sheet. If you disagree regarding a charge, tick the relevant box and make sure that you both sign the page. Take photos as evidence. l Not signing the page doesn’t mean that you won’t be charged – you need to sign to show that you have seen and disputed the information Amey provides to DIO.

l Local info – contact your local AFF co-ordinator via aff.org.uk and the HIVE is good for finding information on childcare and other facilities and events.

l Score out any spare lines on the charges part of the form before you sign it. l To dispute charges, follow the process outlined in the letter. If your challenge is unsuccessful, raise a stage two complaint in writing to DIO.

autumn 2020 Army&You 33

In the dark about mortgages? Let us illuminate you. It can be a pretty anxious time, trying to sort out a mortgage. If you feel like you’re in the dark, get the clarity you need from our FREE Mortgage Advice Service. We put you in touch with your own mortgage expert. It’s their job to review your circumstances and needs and recommend the best mortgage for you. They can talk you through schemes like Forces Help to Buy, which helps both first-time buyers and those moving up the property ladder to buy a home. Plus, they’re always at the end of the phone – happy to clarify anything you’re not sure about.

Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage. Mortgage Excellence Plc, trading as Forces Mutual, is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Registered in England & Wales No. 03527577. Registered office: Alexandra House, Queen Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire, WS13 6QS. For your security all telephone calls are recorded and may be monitored. AWO000335

For clarity on your next mortgage call

01543 440 944 We are open Monday - Friday between 08:30 - 17:30

YOUR HOME

ected If your personal situation is not refl cialist spe below, do contact AFF’s housing Cat Calder at housing@aff.org.uk

Make your move Here at AFF, we’re often asked about timelines and rules for moving quarters. So, if you need or want to switch Service Family Accommodation (SFA), how do you apply, what are you entitled to and how long will it take? Here’s our quick guide to the most common questions… Situation

How far in advance can I apply?

Time to be allocated?

Type of SFA?

When can I move in?

New assignment order (AO)

Four months – notify Amey OS or overseas equivalent within 14 days of receiving new AO

15 working days

Entitled

You can request to move in 28 days either side of the start date at the new duty station but are only officially entitled from the new duty start date

Newly married or civil partners

Four months

15 working days

Entitled

On the day of the wedding/civil service. Where possible you may be able to access the SFA 14 days before the official date to put your belongings in but are not entitled to move in

Established longterm relationship

Once your long-term relationship is officially established on JPA

No time frame

Surplus

15 working days

Entitled

At the six-month point of pregnancy

Change of entitlement due to pregnancy, eg having a 2nd or 4th child

When available

At the four-month point of pregnancy

Change of entitlement when all 3 children will be over 10

Four months prior to the youngest child’s 10th birthday

15 working days

Entitled

On youngest child’s 10th birthday

Move for personal reasons at duty station (formally betterment move)

Any time

No time frame

Entitled

When available

Move to SFA away from duty station

Any time

No time frame

Surplus

When available

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2020 Army&You 35

SPONSORED FEATURE

TIME TO STICK OR TWIST? Why buying a home or remortgaging in the wake of lockdown is not the risky move it may seem

ITH R-rates, recession and retail gloom dominating the news headlines, bunkering down in an existing home in a bid to sustain a familiar financial footing may seem like the most sensible option for Service households. But while the coronavirus pandemic has certainly shaken consumer confidence, there are good reasons why Forces families should consider raising their heads above the property parapet, according to the experienced team at Charles Louis Mortgage Advisers. Chief among them is that setting down roots on civvy street has become significantly more attainable and affordable as a consequence of measures brought in to get the residential market moving in the wake of COVID-19. In July, Chancellor Rishi

36 Army&You autumn 2020

Sunak announced a temporary holiday on stamp duty on the first £500,000 of all property sales in England and Northern Ireland. The move means that – until the end of March next year – you will not pay any stamp duty on a main residence costing up to half-amillion pounds, saving buyers as much as £15,000. Those choosing to settle in more expensive parts of the country will be taxed at five percent for the next portion of the property’s price (£500,001 to £925,000) and at 10 percent for the £575,000 after that. “The stamp duty holiday is welcome news for all those

considering buying a home and, alongside the Forces Help to Buy Scheme (FHTB), makes the prospect of property purchase less daunting for those in the military,” explained Michelle Daggett, a Mortgage & Protection Specialist at Charles Louis. “Not having to find money to meet a tax bill is an immediate win and FHTB, which has been extended to the end of December 2022, eases the demands on finding money for a deposit and associated legal and estate agent fees. “The scheme allows personnel to borrow, by way of an advance, up to half

“Buying a home is a huge decision and it is important, pandemic or not, to have peace of mind that you are receiving independent and unbiased advice that is tailored to your circumstances.”

their annual salary – up to a maximum of £25,000 – but not all lenders offer mortgage products in conjunction with the initiative. Our whole market view can help steer you in the right direction and we will ensure any potential mortgage providers are informed if you wish to take advantage of the scheme. “Buying a home is a huge decision and it is important, pandemic or not, to have peace of mind that you are receiving independent and unbiased advice that is tailored to your circumstances,” she concluded. “Our mission is to find you the best product and we are happy to help ease the stress and pressure associated with moving by arranging appointments over the phone, Zoom or Skype at a time that works for you.” charleslouis.co.uk @ArmyandYou

Surplus scenarios WHAT'S the difference between retention of an SFA and surplus SFA? AFF housing specialist, Cat Calder, explains all… Retention is an extension of your entitlement at your previous posting and there are strict criteria – see JSP 464 – which need to be met to be granted permission. If you don’t meet the criteria and there’s sufficient SFA in the area, you may be allowed to stay on in the quarter on a surplus licence. Remember, empty SFA are not necessarily classed as surplus. It’s also an alternative if you’re in an established long-term relationship LTR(E) which allows unmarried soldiers to cohabit with their partners.

them immediately to make them aware of your situation. l If you move out of a surplus SFA, unless it is on your next posting order, you will not be entitled to removals or Disturbance Expense. l Some allowances, particularly Continuity of Education Allowance, may be impacted, so make sure that you discuss this with your unit admin office first – you don’t want any financial surprises later down the line. l If you're LTR(E), your allowances on posting (in particular, removals) will differ from those who are married. Speak to your unit admin.

Things to consider

Buying time

Surplus is a fantastic option for some however, it’s important that you’re aware of the differences in the licences: l Amey/DIO only have to give you 28 days’ notice to vacate should it be needed for an entitled service person. Whilst the letter will state 28 days for legal reasons, they will always try to give you as much notice as possible. If you receive a letter, contact

Nikki and her family have successfully applied for surplus as her husband begins his final posting two hours’ drive away. She says: “We know we want to settle in the area so moving for his last posting, only to move back again was something we really wanted to avoid. Although our eldest son’s stage of education didn’t officially fall under the retention criteria, after nine years of

moving schools regularly we, and his school, were concerned that two more moves in a short space of time would have a negative impact on his GCSE years. Our welfare team suggested we apply to stay in our current SFA on a surplus licence, and with their support it has been a fairly straightforward process. It gives us some leeway to finding the right home to buy, without having to uproot again.”

Know the rules Living in surplus SFA can be problematic, however. AFF’s south east co-ordinator, Susie Lyles-Clarke, has seen an increase in cases of families being given 28 days’ notice to vacate in her area. She adds: “The consensus felt amongst those families is that they didn’t think this would ever happen to them. My advice is to make sure you consider the implications because in reality, it does happen.”

The bottom line Surplus can be an excellent alternative for accommodation at subsidised rates, but just because it’s available in one area, it may not be in another. Our advice – always have a plan B. l Got any questions? Contact me at housing@aff.org.uk

STAYING PUT FOR YOUR STUDIES Cat goes through the retention rules if you need to stay put for study or training… One of my first successes on joining AFF nine years ago (is it really that long?!) was to push for a change in policy to allow spouses who had started a course to be able to retain their quarter if the soldier was short toured. But what exactly does this mean? AFF recognises that spousal employment and training is crucial to wellbeing, career progression and an easier transition to civvy street. Where courses take years and are likely to go on for longer than the average posting time, it’s your decision as a family whether or not to take it up, as you may need to consider alternative housing when your www.armyandyou.co.uk

contract which was due to end before your soldier’s original posting period, you’ll be able to request to retain your SFA until the course/contract ends.

HOW DO WE APPLY? Ask your unit HR to put in a request to Amey for you, along with supporting evidence. This must be completed and agreed before the start date of the new posting.

OTHER FACTORS

soldier’s posting comes around. Options include private rental using the MOD tenancy deposit loan scheme, home ownership using Forces Help to Buy or

applying for surplus SFA (see Surplus scenarios above). However, should your soldier be posted early, meaning that you can’t complete a course or

Some allowances may be affected so do ensure that your soldier discusses any impact with their unit admin before applying. For more details on retention for this and other accepted reasons, take a look at JSP 464 at gov.uk or contact me by email at housing@aff.org.uk autumn 2020 Army&You 37

What’s life like in Wales?

HAT is it that can make you feel lonely or socially isolated? Is it being away from family and friends, being stuck without transport or being on your own for a period of time? These are the questions being asked by the Welsh Government who are developing a strategy to tackle loneliness and social isolation in the country. AFF successfully applied for funding to look at this from an army family perspective. Sadie Baldwin, AFF’s Wales co-ordinator, and Annabel Ingram, former regional manager Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, organised ‘the Welsh project’ earlier this year.

EVENT PROGRAMME “We ran a ten-week programme of extra events so we could speak to families and

gather their thoughts and comments,” explains Annabel. “These included coffee mornings, online chats and bingo evenings where spouses and children could join in, have fun and share their thoughts on the project topics. We also had an online survey and a media campaign to highlight why we wanted to gather evidence.” Face-to-face meetings became virtual events throughout March, due to the COVID-19 outbreak, but this didn’t stop families sharing their views. The virtual bingo was a particular success with Sadie as the master bingo caller. “Once we knew we had the funding I spoke with different families about events they would like – every place I visited said they would love bingo,” says Sadie. “Everyone can meet up, have a chat and not be alone. The virtual bingo seemed to work

Photo: Jose Llamas on Unsplash

38 Army&You autumn 2020

@ArmyandYou

out even better. I mean, who doesn’t want to relax at home, still see friends and win prizes? “Spouses from all over Wales joined in, including some who live married unaccompanied. “It was fantastic to see new faces. I also set up additional needs groups in some areas and it was nice to meet people who felt that regular coffee mornings weren’t for them.” “Enjoyable family fun had by us all in our house,” said one army family, whilst another commented on the additional needs group, saying: “It’s nice to know there are people who just get it. “This group has been needed for a while.”

WHAT NEXT? Views on life in Wales were varied and quite often reflected whether the family lived in a town or rural location, or in a quarter or their own home. Your comments and the survey have given us evidence to go back to the Welsh Government and highlight emerging issues such as lack of public transport in some areas, and the kind of support you want to receive. If you missed the chance to participate, it isn’t too late. Contact wales@aff.org.uk

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Kick off your career

“The virtual bingo seemed to work out even better. I mean, who doesn’t want to relax at home, still see friends and win prizes? Spouses from all over Wales joined in, including some who live married unaccompanied.”

If you live in Wales and would like free and impartial careers guidance and employability support, Careers Wales can help. You may need advice on training, apprenticeships, funding options, childcare support or putting together a CV. Careers Wales is available for service children over the age of 13 in a school setting. Through the Working Wales service, anyone aged 16+ facing barriers to finding and sustaining employment can also get support. You can tap into services through its website, web chat, social channels and helpline. After being paused for lockdown, face-to-face support will be offered through schools, Careers Wales centres and at events at Jobcentre Plus and community venues. Visit careerswales.gov.wales, call 0800 024 4844 or follow on social @careerswales

autumn 2020 Army&You 39

GARRISON GUIDE

GOOD NEIGHBOURS

Army&You is made possible by the loyal backing of a number of forces-friendly businesses. We salute each organisation below for their support of the services and ask readers to show them their support in return.

ALDERSHOT FOR A PLACE TO STAY Helga’s Homes // helgashomes.co.uk We provide comfortable accommodation in the Aldershot area, with an 8% discount for the Forces! Military precision cleaning all done for you!

FOR BRIGHTENING ANY OCCASION Yours Truly Flowers // yourstrulyflowers.co.uk Email: Jenny@yourstrulyflowers.co.uk / Phone: 01252 757 121. Weddings, Events, Sympathy or Corporate. Local deliveries from award winning florist. 10% discount when mentioning Army&You magazine.

FOR YOUR BELONGINGS

products at competitively discounted prices for all Army&You readers – from a single tap to a whole bathroom.

Project Blinds Ltd // projectblinds.co.uk Supply and installation of all internal blinds and shutters, as well as external shading systems. Happy to offer a 10% Forces Discount.

FOR YOUR MIND Sentience Counselling // sentiencecounselling.co.uk Counselling can help identify solutions to specific work or personal issues by providing clarity and insight in a nonjudgemental, confidential space. 10% Forces Discount.

thefarnhamcounsellor // thefarnhamcounsellor.com Independent, non-judgemental counselling. Experience of working with members of the armed forces. Extra 10% off Key Worker discount – contact me quoting Army&You.

Lok’nStore Self Storage // loknstore.co.uk/self-storage/aldershot

AMESBURY

Lok’nStore – Ash Road , Aldershot – offers secure storage units. First 8 weeks at half price + 20% discount forever for members of the British Armed Forces.

FOR YOUR BODY Chantelle’s Beautique // chantellesbeautique.co.uk Offering a range of professional Hair & Beauty Treatments, specialising in Hair Extensions and Advanced Skin Care. 20% off Forces Discount for selected treatments.

FOR LEGAL SUPPORT Middletons Solicitors // middletonssolicitors.co.uk Local solicitors for all your legal needs. Proud to support the Armed Forces with military discounts available. Please call us on 01985 214444.

ANDOVER

Tranquil Therapies.me // tranquiltherapies.me.uk Mobile Chair Massage £10.00 – 15 mins; Mobile Couch Massage £25.00 – 25 mins, £50.00 – 50 mins. Group bookings, Garden parties, Celebrations. Forces Discount.

FOR YOUR FAMILY’S EDUCATION

FOR BRIGHTENING ANY OCCASION Rachel’s Cake House // rachelscakehouse.co.uk

1-1 and small group tuition in: Mathematics, Physics, Further Mathematics, Statistics and Engineering. Teachers with over 20 years experience. Call Michelle on 0756 431 7500.

Delicious, bespoke wedding and celebration cakes for all occasions. Freshly baked iced or semi-naked cakes and cupcakes, intricate decorations and sugar flowers all handmade.

FOR YOUR FOUR-LEGGED FRIENDS

FOR LEGAL SUPPORT

MagiKats Tuition Centres // magikats.co.uk MagiKats Tuition: Maths, English, Reasoning: all ages and abilities can study locally or remotely to achieve their full potential school/exam success. Individual learning without limits!

M & D Educational Consultants for Students // manddtuition.co.uk

Privileged Pups // privilegedpups.com Dog walking and pet visiting services for our local community. Fully insured and Pet First Aid trained. Established in 2006. Experienced and reliable team.

Legal Expert // legalexpert.co.uk We provide our clients with comprehensive legal advice on a variety of legal matters. We’ll answer all of your questions without any legal jargon.

Legal Helpline // legalhelpline.co.uk Legal Helpline helps to cut through the legal jargon and provide free legal advice from high quality legal professionals with many years of experience.

Medical Negligence Assist // medicalnegligenceassist.co.uk Our clinical medical negligence solicitors are trained and qualified to the highest degree and can assist you on any aspect regarding a medical neglect case.

Advice.co.uk // advice.co.uk With over 30 years’ experience as personal injury specialists, we’ve an excellent reputation in our field and a success rate we are proud of.

CATTERICK FOR YOUR HOME Done and Dusted Cleaning Ltd // doneanddustedcleaners.co.uk Established over 10 years, we can carry out all your home, commercial and holiday home cleaning requirements.

Perspective Blinds // perspective-blinds.co.uk Supply & fit service for all blind styles including shutters and curtains. Free home measure and quote, just call 07814638602.

CHEPSTOW FOR YOUR FAMILY’S EDUCATION Mr Jones Maths Tuition // mrjonesmaths.com Private maths tuition in your home or online with an experienced teacher. Key stages 2-3, GCSE, A-level. Exam preparation and catch-up/close the gap sessions.

COLCHESTER

Whitchurch Wills Limited // whitchurchwills.co.uk Personalised will writing service at highly competitive prices. Lasting Powers of Attorney and probate. Appointments available locally/on-line Zoom. Initial appointment totally free of charge.

FOR YOUR GARDEN

Danspeed Garden Maintenance // danspeedgardening.com

ARMY WIDE

Lawn mowing, tree & shrub pruning, planting, fence repairs, landscaping. Bee swarms removed and rehomed. Eco friendly. £10 forces and 999 responders discount. Based in Aldershot.

FOR YOUR HOME

Excel Plumbing Supplies Ltd // excelplumbingsupplies.co.uk Excel supply a vast range of bathroom and shower

40 Army&You autumn 2020

FOR YOUR FOUR-LEGGED FRIENDS FOR LEGAL SUPPORT Accident Helpline UK // accidentclaims.co.uk We’ve helped many personal injury victims get the compensation they deserve. Over 30 years of experience, all of our claims are No Win, No Fee.

Colchester Canine Creche // colchestercaninecreche.co.uk // facebook.com/colchestercanine Luxury doggy daycare in a custom built facility, oodles of games, interaction and socialisation. 10% off standard rates for military personnel. #wheredoggydreamscometrue

@ArmyandYou

FOR YOUR MONEY L J Rose Accounting // ljroseaccounting.co.uk We offer accountancy services for all aspects of self assessment and company accounts. We offer a 10% discount for all military personnel and their families.

Specialists in mortgages & protection. First time buyers, home movers or looking for a better deal, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find the right mortgage to suit your needs.

FOR YOUR BODY Namaste Hatha Yoga // namastehathayoga.co.uk

DORSET

Too busy to go to classes? Private yoga lessons in the comfort of your home or via Zoom. 20% Discount for Armed Forces.

FOR YOUR DEAR DEPARTED Just Cremation Funeral Directors // justcremation.co.uk With a caring personal approach, our low cost, fixed funeral packages represent excellent value for money. Packages start from ÂŁ925.

STAFFORD FOR YOUR FURRY FRIENDS Friars Moor Vets // friarsmoorvets.co.uk Friars Moor Veterinary Clinic is a professional, dedicated and friendly team providing excellent care in the best interests of you and your pets. 24 hour out of hours service with our own vets at the Sturminster Newton branch.

SALISBURY

YORK FOR YOUR DEAR DEPARTED Stafford Funeralcare // coop.co.uk/funeralcare Offering a unique and personalised tribute for your loved one. Pre-paid funeral plan options also available. Membership discounts apply. Please contact us on 01785 229018 / Stafford@coop.co.uk

FOR YOUR PARTY ESSENTIALS Stafford Fancy Dress & Party // staffordpartyshop.com

FOR MORTGAGE ADVICE Spire Mortgages Limited // spiremortgagesltd.co.uk

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Costumes, wigs, facepaints, hats and accessories. Dress up days at school. Balloons for all occasions, Birthdays, Hen Parties, Baby Showers and more.

FOR BRIGHTENING ANY OCCASION York Fresh Flowers // yorkfreshflowers.co.uk Top York florists specialising in weddings,funerals and fantastic fresh bouquets. Collection or delivery. Same day delivery available. Plants and planters also available. Tel 01904849495.

Want to join the line-up of organisations sharing their services with our army of readers? Email info@tylerbale.co.uk for details.

autumn 2020 Army&You 41

COPING WITH GRIEF The loss of any family member is always very hard to cope with, but it can be particularly difficult for those who lose a loved one serving in the army. Here, we explore some of the avenues of support open to those left behindâ&#x20AC;Ś Photo: Scott Parry on Unsplash

@ArmyandYou

SADIE’S STORY

ADIE Baldwin was an army spouse living in Germany when she tragically lost her soldier in an accident. This is her story... “I was married to Ricky for just under two years and we have two children: Lilly-Mae and Oliver (OB). I turned 21 two weeks before the accident,” says Sadie. “The first few months were a bit of a blur. My mum and in-laws were flown out by the army to help me. “At the time, Lilly-Mae was just 15 months and OB was four months.” Sadie also had support from her best friend and fellow army spouse Claire, plus the unit welfare officer from 5 Rifles and a padre. During those first few months Sadie says she kept going for the sake of the children. “I just didn’t feel like I would ever be happy again, but I knew that I had to at least try to give the children as normal a life as possible.” The family moved from Germany a month after Ricky had died. Sadie initially chose Service Family Accommodation (SFA) in Beachley, so she could be close to family, and she started to look for work around six months after Ricky’s death. “Financially we were okay whilst living in SFA, however, once we left, I was hit with the real world. I wasn’t entitled to a lot of financial help as I had Ricky’s pension, so it was seen as an income. “He had died with his life insurance papers unsigned, so we didn’t have any money to buy a house. “I applied to the council but the only place offered was

nearly an hour away from my work and the children’s nursery. “I decided to rent privately but this meant I needed to earn more, so I took on a second part-time job.”

RESOURCES & SUPPORT AFF’s bereavement page aff.org.uk JCCC Manages forces casualties and compassionate cases 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Search JCCC at gov.uk

Valued help Over the years, their needs as a family have changed. “When I first lost Ricky, I had two children who depended on me solely and I had little time to myself. Now they’re older and more independent I find I’m alone a lot. However, I’m part of the Army Widows Association, which is a great organisation. “One of the widows I’d connected with on Facebook asked me to come to their AGM. “I was nervous but decided I needed to go. “I met some of the most amazing ladies who have become family rather than friends,” explains Sadie. The children are part of the Scotty’s Little Soldiers charity. “Scotty’s offers all sorts of help and advice. We go to the Christmas party every year, which is amazing,” says Sadie.

Advice to others Sadie’s advice is to open up: “Talk about how you’re feeling. “The only way you’ll be able to get help and to make your hero proud is to take small steps to living life again. “As a family we talk about

SSAFA support groups ssafa.org.uk forceschildrenstrust.org.uk scottyslittlesoldiers.co.uk Families’ Activity Breaks fabcamps.org.uk royalbritishlegion.org.uk childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk armywidows.org.uk warwidows.org.uk forcespensionsociety.org Army Welfare Service 01904 882053 or AWS-HQ-IAT@mod.uk Cruse Bereavement Care cruse.org.uk

Ricky a lot. People have given me stories and pictures to show the children so that they know their dad was an amazing man. “We’ve all had counselling but OB found it hard. “He struggles with the fact other people have their dads around,” she says. “There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think of him. “Sometimes it’s hard, like when the children had their first days at school or left primary school for the last time. We celebrate his life on his birthday, remember him on our wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death. “Most of all we keep his memory alive as OB looks exactly like him.”

“There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think of him. Sometimes it’s hard, like when the children had their first days at school or left primary school for the last time.” www.armyandyou.co.uk

winstonswish.org childbereavementuk.org youngminds.org.uk lullabytrust.org.uk uksobs.org

BURSARIES & ACADEMIC ASSISTANCE There are several organisations that can offer advice and support to service children and young people whose education is affected by the loss of a serving parent: The Children’s Education Advisory Service holds a list of schools which offer bursaries to the bereaved children of forces personnel. Email DCYP-CEASenquiries@mod.gov.uk gov.uk/support-militarybereaved-children Lord Kitchener National Memorial Fund kitchenerscholars.org/ memorial-fund Royal Caledonian Education Trust respite service rcet.org.uk

autumn 2020 Army&You 43

reaves with mum Jilly and Beaming: Austin and Cooper Harg t) and her daughter Brooke righ (far t Scotty’s founder Nikki Scot more Visit scottyslittlesoldiers.co.uk for

PUTTING SMILES ON FACES

ROWING up without your mum who lost her dad Sgt Adrian Templer in or dad by your side is one of the 2010. She says: “It means so much to me to toughest things to go through as a feel part of a community with other kids that child, so knowing you’re not going through it understand how I feel and what I’m going alone is vital. through.” And it is not just the children that For national military charity, Scotty’s Little benefit. For mums like Amanda, who lost Soldiers, their goal is provide support to her husband Sgt Gary Durban in 2017, the bereaved forces children when they need it togetherness that comes with being part of the most. It puts smiles back on their faces the Scotty’s community is so important. through events, respite breaks and gifts, as She says: “You think you’re in your own well as access to wellbeing care and a range little bubble and nobody else is going of activity and educational grants. through it, but all of the families are in it The charity was set up by together. The team really get war widow Nikki Scott, who to know all of the children and witnessed first-hand the what makes them happy.” “It means so l impact losing a parent had fee much to me to on her two young children. Support part of a community t Cpl Lee Scott was killed in Scotty’s head of support, Bev tha s with other kid Afghanistan in 2009 and Townsend, is always on hand w ho understand Nikki founded the charity in his to offer emotional support and I feel.” memory. can refer families for additional help when needed. She also Part of a community identifies when a child is struggling at Scotty’s now supports more than 400 school and works with the local education bereaved forces children including eightauthorities to put support in place before it year-old Austin who lost his dad, SSgt becomes a larger problem. Christopher Hargreaves, in 2017. Bev says: “Ensuring that our members Having the opportunity to meet other never feel like they are going through this children like him is one of the most alone is one of the most important parts important things about Scotty’s. of my job. As they grow up, there will be He says: “You make so many friends who periods in their lives when the loss of their all understand. There are not many children parent will become more poignant, and it’s you can just sit down with and talk about important for them to know that when these what you’ve been through.” moments occur Scotty’s is at the other end It’s a sentiment echoed by 11-year-old Zoe, of the phone.”

44 Army&You autumn 2020

MORE THAN JUST A CHARITY ESTABLISHED 16 years ago, the Forces Children’s Trust (FCT) was the first British charity to specifically help children whose parent had died or sustained life-changing injuries whilst serving as a member of the armed forces. It offers physical activity support to young people who have experienced a bereavement. From participating in expeditions and residential weeks away, children gain valuable life-skills to help them cope and adjust to life without a parent. Those who access the charity benefit immensely from the services on offer, as one army family explains: “I’ve seen my children grow from feeling shy, introverted and nervous at school and not wanting to be different from ‘everyone with a daddy’ to being quietly confident and immensely proud of their father. This resilience and acceptance was learnt through their enduring friendships within the FCT.” Another army family agrees: “FCT has been an important part of our lives for five years. Throughout this time my three children have always been under the caring wing of its founder Denny Wise and part of a very special family where there is a strong and important sense of belonging. My children have grown in self-confidence, this was very heartwarming to see after a very special trip to Nepal organised by the FCT.” To find out more, visit forceschildrenstrust.org.uk

PRACTICAL THINGS TO DO Encourage your soldier to update their next of kin, emergency contact and will details on JPA; Ask your soldier for the JPA P001, a card which provides details about who to call in an emergency; Ask your soldier to download the MOD ICE (in case of emergency) app via Defence Gateway on your device.

@ArmyandYou

THERE FOR EACH OTHER

HE Army Widows’ Association (AWA) was formed in 2004 for army widows, widowers, recognised partners and their family members, to provide comfort, support, hope and a special understanding. Staff provide a muchneeded support network, produce newsletters and host events. They have a wealth of experience and knowledge and can signpost to further help for things like counselling funding or financial queries. There’s also a private Facebook group.

The benefits Raqual Harper-Titchener lost her husband Matt in Iraq in 2003 and found herself alone, with her two-year-old son and 20 weeks’ pregnant with her daughter. She says: “Although I had

wonderful support from family and friends, no-one really gets it unless they have walked that path. “The AWA was formed just at the right time for me and, 16 years later, I’m extremely grateful to be the Chair and able to ‘give back’, as I received so much support during my early bereavement journey and continue to do so. “We get a lot through attending events and in recent circumstances, these have continued virtually. Many members have found comfort and hope, but mostly we have that special understanding of what it’s like to be an army widow. “Together we feel safe. It’s good to chat, it’s great to laugh and it’s okay to shed a tear! “None of us wanted to be

Giving back: Association chair Raqual with her children Matheson and Angel (above) and beneficiary-turnedvolunteer Rachel (left) flying the flag for AWA at a military event

members of an association where the joining criteria relied on bereavement, but we are where we are and, through friendship and support, we are determined to have a positive future!”

Comforting camaraderie Rachel Prosser joined the AWA in 2012 when she lost her partner in Afghanistan. “At first I ‘lurked’ in the Facebook group, drawing comfort from just knowing there were people out there that had the same problems as me. “The online chatter was frank, full of sound advice, warm and often funny,” says Rachel. “At a time when laughter can be filled with so much guilt it

was good to be able to share a joke. “After a year, I plucked up the courage to attend an event and finally had people around me that I could talk openly with. “As time has gone on, I’ve been able to help other members by sharing my experiences. I’ve represented the AWA on the MOD’s casualty visitor officer training; by talking about the death of my partner I hope that army personnel might be better prepared for supporting bereaved families. “Our events are the mainstay of the organisation, coming together and watching people grow through their grief is empowering. We’re there for each other in the dark times as well as the good.” To find out more, go to armywidows.org.uk

FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR FAMILIES The Army Dependants’ Trust provides discretionary cash grants to dependants/next of kin of soldiers who die in service, from whatever cause, to relieve immediate financial hardship to the member’s family.

‘Boarding lies at the heart of this Somerset school’ - TATLER SCHOOLS GUIDE

If the serving partner was a member, the family could receive up to £15,000. This is free from tax and available immediately to help with any short-term debt or ongoing expenses or with additional funeral costs. The trust is automatically notified of a member’s death and takes all the necessary action. The serving person can sign up via their Unit Admin Office and pay £8.75 per year, which is deducted automatically from their January pay. For more details, call 01980 615734.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2020 Army&You 45

SPONSORED FEATURE

SUPPORTING THE ARMED FORCES FAMILY

Maj Gen Neil Marshall, CEO Forces Pension Society

N this article, I’d like to tell you something about the work we do at the Forces Pension Society and why it’s so relevant to the community of Forces Families. Our focus of course is on Pensions, which, if managed well, can help deliver financial stability at the conclusion of a Service career. To achieve the best pension outcome it’s vitally important to understand your pension and the choices available to you. And, as we always say to those who are still some way off Resettlement, start planning as early as possible. I should also explain that the Society is an independent, not-for-profit organisation. We are funded entirely by the subscriptions of our Members – now numbering around 60,000 and continually growing – even through the current pandemic.

The Society’s Work: Pension advice and more We are the trusted source for independent Armed Forces Pension advice. And we’ve been doing it for a long time. Next year we celebrate our 75th Anniversary. That’s not all we do as I will explain but it is vitally important to the well-being of

46 Army&You autumn 2020

the Forces and their Families. Armed Forces Pension Schemes are highly complex. And many serving today are on more than one scheme which further adds to the complexity. We provide individual guidance to our members, delivered by our Pension Advisory Team (included within our subscription fee). Last year alone, the Team dealt with more than 15,000 enquiries. We know that many in the Armed Forces are critical of their pension benefits but our role is to help Members get the most from their scheme(s) by making better choices. Informed decisionmaking and good planning can make a big difference to a family’s future well-being. Additionally, through our outreach programme which is free for all to attend – including spouses and partners – we run Roadshows at bases around the country and overseas to create awareness of pension potential. Similarly, we run Financial Aspects of Resettlement briefings (FARs) in conjunction with CTP for those entering Resettlement. We believe it’s important for couples to attend these briefings because there are important decisions to be made and there’s an opportunity to ask detailed questions that have a bearing on family security. The likelihood is that whatever career follows Army life, your pension income will form the foundation of your financial well-being. Aside from these activities, we also attend CTP Employment Fairs to connect with those in

Resettlement (supporting those in the Resettlement process is a subject close to our heart). And following the inception of the Veterans’ Gateway initiative, we have provided our expertise to Veterans enquiring about whether they are entitled to a pension – and if they are, how to set about claiming it. This programme is funded by the Office for Veterans’ Affairs. To date, we’ve responded to more than 5,500 enquiries and confirmed pension entitlements for 750 Veterans, often uniting them with pensions they knew nothing about. We’ve received a great many heart-warming responses like this: “Your advice and information was invaluable and gave us hope that we may just have a future without financial hardship... I received a letter with the award decision and my wife and I almost cried with relief.” And finally, we provide a voice for the whole community where it counts, on the representative bodies for Armed Forces and Public Services Pensions. This enables us to represent the interests of the military on such matters as the McCloud case involving age discrimination and which is currently the subject of a consultation process. In summary, we strive to be a force for good for the whole Armed Forces Community.

Providing support in these difficult times While our Pension Advisory Team has continued to deliver our service to Members throughout

“We believe it’s important for couples to attend these briefings because there are important decisions to be made and there’s an opportunity to ask detailed questions that have a bearing on family security.”

this Covid pandemic, other services have had to be modified to deal with today’s new demands. Through webinars and virtual presentations, we have maintained our delivery of Roadshows and FAR briefings. We were especially delighted to participate in the Army Families Federation’s Money Month briefings in July. We hosted two webinars with the focus on pensions. The feedback from those attending was tremendously positive. Thank you to all who participated. We hope this is something we can repeat for you in the future.

A final word of advice Right now, you might want to reflect on being fortunate to have an Armed Forces pension guaranteed to deliver as contracted. Make the most of it. Understand your options and exercise the choices that will help you gain the most from your pension for when you will come to rely on it. We know it’s complicated. Even deciding your date of departure can make a significant difference to what you receive – not to mention pension top-ups, commutation options, joining the Reserves, taxes on Annual Allowances and much more. That’s why the Forces Pension Society is here, to guide you through the pension maze. If you would like to find out more about us, including how to become a Member, please visit forcespensionsociety.org @ArmyandYou

COMMUNITY CHAMPION

A HELPING HABIT

ROM running arts and crafts at a mums’ and tots’ group and being a music librarian for one of the Military Wives Choirs to presenting on her community radio station, army spouse Donna Burns’ extensive volunteering has brought much joy to her life and those around her, wherever she’s been posted. We spoke to this energetic mum-of-five to find out what drives her to give back… Up until the summer of 2006, Donna was a single parent to son Peter and, juggling a full-time job, had little time in the diary for romance. That, however, changed when a friend introduced her to Rod, a Royal Engineer, and they began their military journey together. “I now work full-time as a teaching assistant,” says Donna, “but up until last October, I’d put my career on hold and was blessed enough to stay home with my five children.” However, Donna explains that things weren’t always easy for the couple: “I was diagnosed with cancer – Hodgkin’s Lymphoma – very early into our relationship. Rod has stood by me the whole way. We got married and moved to Tidworth – my first taste of army life.” It was during a subsequent posting to Hameln, Germany, that Donna decided to give volunteering a go. “The Salvation Army ran a club and once a week I would help to run it – it helped to give me a real sense of purpose. I was a mum and wife, yes, but I didn’t work, and I needed to feel like I was doing more. “I then helped with some of the mums’ and tots’ groups, mainly tidying and helping run the arts and crafts. I met some lovely people and it made me feel great.”

Bug for volunteering It was when Donna moved to Chatham that her next volunteering adventure began. “I had recently had my son Freddie and my husband had recognised that I needed

If you know a person with a military connection who works hard to improve your local community, tell us about them – email editor@aff.org.uk and read more stories at armyandyou.co.uk

some ‘me time’. We saw a leaflet for a new Military Wives Choir, Brompton MWC [now Brompton and Invicta]. Joining was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life,” says Donna. “Each choir has volunteer roles for its committee, so I volunteered for music librarian and loved it.” After Donna’s fifth child Penny was born she also took on the role of running a mums’ and tots’ group in Chatham, creating a welcoming and fun place for spouses to come to with their children.

Journey to the airwaves In 2016, the family moved to Perham Down in Wiltshire. “Within the first week I’d contacted Tidworth MWC and they welcomed me with open arms. It wasn’t long until I took on the role of a music librarian again,” says Donna. It was at choir that Donna met Kelly, who introduced her to the next volunteering chapter in her life, community radio. “Kelly brought me up to Castledown FM as part of a special show talking about loan sharks. I was hooked. Even though I wasn’t behind the desk running things, I loved it. “I was asked to join Kelly on her Wednesday morning show Humpday Hooray and had such a blast,” explains

Donna is our autumn community champion and wins a signed print from The War Poppy Collection by artist Jacqueline Hurley of POSH Original Art. Jacqueline’s collection is her personal thank you and tribute to our armed forces, veterans www.armyandyou.co.uk

Donna. “All my children were now in school or nursery and I had some free time. There’s only so many times you can clean a house!” Before long Donna was asked to present a morning show. “It was fantastic,” she says. “Doing something I had never thought I could do and being that person that people tune in to – maybe because they’re living alone, isolated or because they need an escape.” Being on community radio has become a real passion for Donna. “Not just playing music but talking to people in the community, telling people about events, support groups and getting people on our shows who bring awareness of things happening around us,” she says.

Future plans And Donna’s passion to help others doesn’t stop there – she now has plans for further ties in the community after meeting with Rev Tim Laundon. “He heads up a community pastoral support team. After having cancer, I know how life-changing it can be so I’m going to be involved with the team to visit or talk to people who are going through cancer treatment, who’ve had treatment and those who’ve lost a loved one. Having someone to go to the shops with you, put a load of washing on or just someone to sit and talk to is sometimes the best way to be there for someone,” says Donna.

Advice to others Donna believes volunteering is a great way to get to know people, find what you want to do and give you a sense of purpose away from the family home. “I’ve been able to grow so much as a person and I’ve made some amazing lifelong friends,” says Donna. “If you’re wanting a new challenge, to give back to your community or just help, then volunteering is the way to go. “I’m so grateful for the people I’ve met and the self-confidence I’ve gained.” &

and their families; and a commemoration of those who have fallen or been injured in past campaigns. She paints to evoke emotion, reflection and remembrance in her unique and expressive style. To view the collection, visit poshoriginalart.co.uk autumn 2020 Army&You 47

HEALTH

❤

CONSTANT CARE

According to Carers UK there are 6.5 million people in this country supporting a loved one who is elderly, disabled or seriously ill. There’s no data that estimates how many adult or young carers are in the armed forces community, but these national statistics would suggest that there could be a significant number. AFF’s health & additional needs specialist, Karen Ross, explores further...

O HAS been an army wife for 24 “This in itself is a stressful time,” explains Military support years and is mum to Harry, who is 19. Jo. “Add the pandemic into the If you have a caring responsibility He has significant additional needs mix and it has bought a whole for anyone in the armed and requires constant support and care. new set of issues, but there forces community who has MAKE A CLAIM During the first part of the COVID-19 is light at the end of the a chronic condition, lifeYou could get £67.25 a lockdown, Jo had been caring for him lockdown tunnel.” limiting or life-changing week carers’ allowance if alone. She says: “My husband was illness or disability, you you care for someone for at deployed to support the work on the Bristol So where can and your soldier can least 35 hours a week. Go to Nightingale Hospital and my daughter is a you get help? tap into support from gov.uk/carers-allowance nurse, so was also working. Look out for local the Chronic Conditions “Usually Harry attends a special school organisations near you. and Disability in Defence and receives respite care, but under Carer Support Wiltshire, for (CanDiD) network. lockdown this all stopped. I felt isolated example, runs Courage to Care, Gill Charlton, who is one of and mentally drained.” a two-year Covenant-funded project. It the service family and carer advocates, It was some relief over the summer when ran cafés in Tidworth, Larkhill and Bulford explains: “All the advocates working for the support workers, using full PPE, which were well supported and CanDiD network are volunteers and do this started to take Harry out in his were just becoming established alongside their normal military duties. We wheelchair for an hour four when lockdown began. In the offer limited advocacy support, signposting PASSPORT days a week. meantime, they have been and we encourage peer-to-peer support.” A carer passport could help “That hour is a blessing running virtual sessions The CanDiD network website is coming you strike the right balance and we both look forward and have also offered soon. In the meantime, join the Facebook between work and care. Check to it, it’s good for Harry to online counselling to group or follow @af_candid on Twitter. whether your employer runs spend time away from the some families who have the scheme or encourage home both mentally and particularly struggled Commitment to carers them to set one up at physically,” adds Jo. through lockdown. Look out for an invite to the ‘commitment carerpassport.uk Harry finished full-time Look out for details via the to carers armed forces’ event next year. All education over the summer and HIVE, local Facebook groups or being well, it will take place on 11 March at will now transition into adult services. at carersupportwiltshire.co.uk the Oval Cricket Ground, London. It aims

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48 Army&You autumn 2020

@ArmyandYou

to raise awareness of carers and serving personnel, and family members who have a caring role will be invited to share their experiences with the third sector, cross-

❤

USEFUL LINKS: Action for Carers Carol.Owttrim@actionforcarers.org.uk Military Families Lead, Suffolk Family Carers kate.hinchliff@suffolkfamilycarers.org Carers UK carersuk.org Carers Trust carers.org The Children’s Society childrenssociety.org.uk Search Carer’s assessments at nhs.uk Help at home from a carer search homecare at nhs.uk National Network of Parent Carer Forums nnpcf.org.uk

www.armyandyou.co.uk

government representatives and policy makers. Event organiser Paula Cruise is the NHS England and NHS Improvement Senior Project Manager for young carers and carers in the armed forces. She says: “Lived experience presented at the last two forces events were very powerful and well received.” For more information, contact paula. cruise@nhs.net

Families fighting on The Forces Additional Needs and Disability Forum (FANDF) gives a voice to those of you who have a family member with additional needs and disability. Its recent survey helped to gain a more indepth understanding of what your issues are and shaped its 30th anniversary report: Families Fighting On. The report acknowledges that significant numbers of carers within the armed forces community develop mental health issues. FANDF has recommended that an in-depth investigation of the impact on armed forces carers should be carried out. Find out more via ssafa.org.uk or join FANDF on Facebook.

autumn 2020 Army&You 49

EXCLUSIVE

#OurArmyFamily Whether married or single, parent, partner, cousin or child of a soldier, we want you to tell us all about your army family. Follow @ArmyandYou on social media for more stories Meet the Keen family. Chris is a freelance radio presenter, DJ and military spouse. He runs @SpouseHour on Twitter and also writes a blog offering advice to other ‘followers of the flag’ – especially men – called The military husband. Here he shares who makes up his army family…

Our family consists of me and Kelly, our ten-monthold daughter Holly and our two dogs; Amos, a retired military police dog who we adopted in the Falklands and Poppy, who we adopted in Germany. I met Kelly whilst she was serving in the Falklands in 2014 and we’ve been an army family since we moved into our first quarter in Germany five years ago. I really enjoy army life. It’s never boring and you don’t really know what could happen next. There are always a few challenges to overcome but that’s just life. A refreshing way of life A lot of people ask me if I enjoy all the moving and the answer is yes… apart

from the actual moving process. I find moving around every two years or so quite refreshing – and at least you never get bored. I also really enjoy patch life. Everywhere we’ve lived there’ve been friendly people who love getting together and helping each other. It feels like a massive team. Favourite posting The best part is the travelling and making new friends. All our postings have been brilliant, but my favourite was the Falklands. The wildlife is incredible – you only have to drive a short distance to see penguins, dolphins, whales and albatross. Life on camp is good; there’s always something going

on to keep you entertained and in Stanley the locals are very welcoming. It’s just a great place to go. Coping with challenges Leaving friends behind and the packing/moving out of each house is the part that can be tough, but we embrace all the challenges and turn them into positives where we can. For example, it’s rubbish living so far away from family and friends but when they come and visit, they stay for a while and it’s like a little holiday for them and us. In the past when my wife has been deployed, I’ve dealt with it by working more hours, going to see friends and family, and playing FIFA! In future, it will be a different

ball game because I’ll also have Holly to look after and entertain but I’m looking forward to the challenge when it comes! Getting involved I go out of my way to get involved with patch life. It’s always nice to see the ideas different people have in terms of events and activities. I also try to pass on any skills or advice I may have to help others. Advice to others Jump into every opportunity, be a yes person – within reason – and enjoy the ride! Don’t let the rough times get you down because it will get better. If things do start to get to you, there are plenty of people to talk to. &

“When my wife has been deployed, I’ve dealt with it by working more hours, going to see friends and family, and playing FIFA!”

50 Army&You autumn 2020

@ArmyandYou

S U R P CY

A POSTCARD FROM... The Mediterranean, meze and mountains. Partners Daniel Knott and Major Michael Brigham share a tour of their army life on the island of Cyprus...

How long have you been an army family? 15 years.

Time in Cyprus? Two happy years in the sun.

How many other military families live in Episkopi station?

owners set up and 55 AEC run a comprehensive education programme on camp. There are employment opportunities but competition is fierce as jobs are limited. I work in media ops and run my own photography business from home, which keeps me very busy.

200 plus families.

What’s your quarter like?

What about schools and childcare?

We live in a nice-sized, fourbedroom house overlooking the Med and RAF Akrotiri. If you like 1950s style and flowery curtains this is the place to be. We love it and enjoy the cliff walks.

We have some fantastic schools in Cyprus – the parents sing their praises.

Are there any employment/ training opportunities?

Life tends to take place on the beach or in Happy Valley with regular social events and open-air cinemas. Every year we have a party in the park and

Supporting the Unsung Hero (page 21) come over once a year to help new business

Where do army families get together and who supports you?

celebrate both UK and Cypriot cultural events. We are well supported by welfare, the HIVE, AFF, SSAFA and numerous other charities.

How do you find the cost of living there? It’s not too bad. Food is our biggest expense and shopping around is a must here. You can travel to two or three different shops in one trip to get everything you need. Eating out is cheap and you can get amazing meze for next to nothing if you explore.

What are the best and worst things about living in Cyprus? The sun is a definite bonus and combined with breathtaking coastlines and mountain ranges, it really is a very pleasant place

to live. Be warned, in the spring and autumn you can get some very impressive thunderstorms. I suppose one of the hardest things is you’re pretty isolated without a car. Public transport around Episkopi is limited and most attractions and bars are a few miles away so you can’t just walk there.

Would you recommend it as a family posting? It’s a perfect posting for families. In the summer everyone is in the pool, enjoying the beach or cooling down in the mountains. You have five-star hotels around every corner and an excuse for a barbecue every day. Add in the amazing schools and closeknit community and you can’t really ask for more. &

Want to share your experiences of army family life? Get in touch by emailing editor@aff.org.uk www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2020 Army&You 51

Dallam School

Based at the entrance to the stunning Lake District, Dallam School offers an exceptional State Boarding education for 11 – 19 year olds.

Based at the entrance to the stunning Lake District, Dallam School offers an exceptional State Boarding education for 11-19 year olds.

Dallam Boarding…

aDallam place ofBoarding… adventure, tradition a place of adventure, tradition and natural beauty and natural beauty

Boarders come to Dallam not only to gain excellent GCSE, A Boarders Level or IB come qualifications, but to and to Dallam notdevelop only topersonally gain excellent socially. offer aor range of exciting and innovative cultural GCSE,We A Level IB qualifications, but to develop opportunities, all in a building that has over 400 years of personally and socially. We offer a range of exciting history. There has cultural also beenopportunities, significant investment a new and innovative all in ainschool boarding wing in recent years, meaning that our boarders that has over 400 years of history. Full time and flexible benefit for English heritage alongside some outstanding boarding opportunities are available. modern facilities.

A service personnel A service scholarship is personnel scholarship is for available available for those serving our those serving our country country

www.dallamboarding.co.uk | boardingadmissions@dallamschool.co.uk | 015395 65165 | @dallamschool

www.dallamboarding.co.uk | boardingadmissions@dallamschool.co.uk

Education milestones for the mantlepiece: From left to right, Hugo moving into Year 3, Harry on his first day in reception and Archie off to nursery; first day back for brothers Asher and Isaac; Amelia’s first day at school with little sister, Elizabeth, starting nursery

A NEW TERM

OST of us are used to a flurry of cheerful posts on social media documenting first days, new uniforms and nervous smiles at the beginning of the new school year. This time, however, is likely to feel very different as we are living through a period of ever increasing change brought about by COVID-19 and for many of you, this feeling of uncertainty is increased by having children who are due to start their school journey somewhere new. Anna Hutchinson, AFF’s education & childcare specialist, offers some words of reassurance… At the time of writing, we were still awaiting information as to how the new school year will begin and what measures will be in place to allow this to happen. Schools which reopened for the end of the summer term had been reorganised completely with children experiencing life in social bubbles and smaller class sizes. For those with children starting in reception or Year 7, there were less opportunities for your child to spend time in their new setting prior to starting and, with delayed moves, many of you didn’t get an opportunity to www.armyandyou.co.uk

visit the school in person. BEHIND THE SCENES PREPARATIONS Rest assured that schools understand and should be well prepared for this. They’ll quickly learn all about your child and what they need to do to ensure they make good progress in their first year. The Avenue Primary School in Warminster, which has many military children, highlights the importance of talking to your child’s school as they transition.

Their parent and pupil support advisor Emma Leeson says: “Here at The Avenue, staff work closely with parents to ensure children are settled and supported ready for their academic adventure. “Staff are available to answer questions in advance and support is always available. “Parents should feel confident in highlighting their worries to their school early on, so that you can work with the school, and this will benefit your child going forward.”

HERE TO HELP I’m here to support you during the year ahead and am always happy to receive your education and childcare questions. Email me at ec@aff.org.uk You can also find more information on service children’s education at: l aff.org.uk l Directorate Children & Young People, gov.uk l Children’s Education Advisory Service, gov.uk l Helpful toolkits, mentallyhealthyschools.org.uk

READY FOR RETURNING 4 Make time each day for your child to talk to you and share their feelings. Maybe on the way home from school, during dinner or as they get ready for bed. Giving them a chance to share their thoughts will give you an insight in to how they feel, help you to identify any problems and offer reassurance. 4 If you have any questions or concerns, speak to your child’s teacher; they’ll be more than happy to talk to you – they want the best for your child too. If you have more than one thing to discuss, arrange an appointment as collection is often busy. If your child’s school has a parent support advisor, you can always talk to them too. 4 For all new starters, check if the school has any social media groups you can join, these may help you and your child to feel part of the school community, especially if social distancing measures mean you’re not able to interact with other families in the playground.

autumn 2020 Army&You 53

Outstanding hammock made by Albie (aged 16)

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SCHOOL REPORT: RAIGMORE PRIMARY Name of school: Raigmore Primary Location: Inverness Number of service pupils: 90 out of 220 How do you help service children settle in? We identify those who are from a military family so we can arrange support – before, during and after separation. We make sure service children integrate into the whole school community. They meet once a week to talk and share with other military children. We also pick up on any gaps in learning and put additional support in place. What practical support do you give service pupils? The children have emotional check-in, bubble time and meditation time with quiet space to go to. We increase communication with the parent who is at home and support communication between pupils and deployed parents. The children also have a named person to speak to if they have any worries or issues. Are there any military links? We work closely with the local unit welfare officer to ensure there is constant communication regarding children’s welfare at school and at home. We attend the Military Liaison Group (MLG) - see below - to share best practice with other groups and schools.

Are there any special projects involving service children? Miss Farrell, our forces teacher, works solely with children from forces families in camouflage club, with discussions, projects and activities focused on supporting the children’s wellbeing. Children also enjoy being involved in Reading Force (see page 64) and they talk about their books and scrapbooks with each other during these sessions. What do the kids think? “One fun thing about having my Daddy go away is we get to go to our club in school,” says Ruby, P2.

HIGHLAND HELP FOR SERVICE CHILDREN Highland Council leads a group that promotes better understanding of what service life is like for children and young people. The Military Liaison Group Education aims to ensure your child’s time at school is the best it can be by bringing

together organisations, groups and schools to promote and act on the views of families and share good practice and support. MLG (Education), in partnership with the Royal Caledonian Education Trust, has delivered programmes across Highland schools focusing on wellbeing, positive relationships, emotional literacy and pro social behaviours. AFF’s Scotland co-ordinator, Jenny Goodacre, goes along to the MLG meetings, she says: “It’s an opportunity for me to

connect with those supporting military families and hear about the great work being done. I share the work AFF is doing and establish ways in which we can work together. “I was impressed that MLG is supporting lone military pupils in remote schools, showing that they care about the needs of every child and go out of their way to achieve this.” You can find more by searching for Military Liaison Group (Education) at highland.gov.uk

Firm foundations: MLG partner, Skills Development Scotland, worked with young people from Inverness (left), who enjoyed the first Scotland-wide Lego League final after completing an innovation project to improve their city.

autumn 2020 Army&You 55

SPONSORED FEATURE

LOCKDOWN’S LEGAL LEGACY

Family law specialist Richard Bebb explains how Goughs Solicitors is supporting those couples burnt by the COVID-19 pandemic ‘pressure cooker’

NPRECEDENTED is a word that has been regularly used in recent months, but it is an accurate description of many domestic and family arrangements during lockdown. Most couples had never had to spend so long in each other’s company. Working from home; one or both being furloughed; home schooling the kids; social distancing from other families – these all created a real pressurecooker environment. Inevitably those pressures were greater where couples were already having difficulties – and, unfortunately, for some it was the final straw. So what are their options? Most lawyers remained open for business during lockdown. From late March the 10-strong specialist family law team at Goughs worked effectively from home for many weeks, and we reopened our office doors on 15 June. Our lawyers now spend a mixture of their time working safely from the office and at home, and lockdown didn’t www.armyandyou.co.uk

prevent us from helping our clients. We now conduct meetings face to face (observing strict safety guidelines) and also via Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp and the trusty telephone. We are as accessible to our clients as we’ve always been, and crucially we know that we can continue to be so, even if lockdown returns, because of our success in operating remotely. Court business has continued. Our family team had to adapt very quickly to new ways of working – a steep learning curve! Courts moved to ‘remote’ hearings via telephone and video link virtually overnight. We have conducted a large number of remote hearings involving our clients, which has proved very successful and prevented delays. Emerging from lockdown, the courts have cautiously begun to return to holding hearings in court buildings where really necessary, but remote hearings continue, and we don’t think we’ll ever return to the traditional

system where every court appearance involves travelling to and attending a court centre. Starting new divorces, applying for orders relating to children, and issuing proceedings to sort out finances arising from any relationship breakdown can all be done online, which is significantly faster and more efficient than relying on a paper-based process. Nonetheless, we and our clients have had to be patient, and that continues as the court system settles into its own ‘new normal’. Slower progress is still progress. If you are thinking about speaking to a solicitor but are put off by the current challenges we all face, don’t hesitate to contact Goughs. You’ll find we’re as friendly, approachable and available as always. We’ll be able to get you started on the road to divorce if that’s what you want, and see you through to the end. We can deal with any concerns you have relating to finances, children, domestic abuse and all other aspects of family law, drawing on our knowledge and experience, which have been considerably expanded since March as we’ve tackled the new challenges faced by our clients in this new world. How to deal with bitter disputes about childcare in a period of hard

lockdown; exploring new financial solutions for clients whose circumstances have massively changed; and dealing with future uncertainty whilst still enabling final outcomes to be found so that our clients can move on with their lives are now part of our portfolio of skills. Goughs also have a great deal of experience in advising Service families on the intricacies of pensions on divorce and other issues which often arise following relationship breakdown, such as changes to PStat Cats and the Continuity of Education Allowance. We always provide tailored advice to suit you and your individual situation. We’re proactive and imaginative, making sure that the pandemic isn’t preventing us from driving matters forward with the courts and other solicitors, finding creative solutions, and supporting our clients all the way. As signatories to the Armed Forces Corporate Covenant, Goughs are pleased to offer members of the armed forces community a free initial consultation and a 10 per cent discount on all our fees. 01225 899502 military@goughs.co.uk goughs.co.uk autumn 2020 Army&You 59

YoungGeneration MILY B E R S O F Y O U R A R M Y FA FOR THE YOUNGER MEM

Writing from the heart

Army veteran and Never Such Innocence (NSI) Poet in Residence Clive Sanders writes poems on a daily basis and when he posts them on his Facebook page, tens of thousands of people view them. Here, he shares how his career in the military has helped to inspire young people to write meaningful verse…

LIVE was born and raised in Coventry with a father who had served as a soldier in the Second World War and grandfather who served in the First World War, so it was no great surprise that he joined the Royal Corps of Signals in 1965.

and encourages young people to write from their hearts. I teach them to use beautiful or powerful words about things that they love or hate and to use their words to have a profound effect on those who hear or read them.” A young participant from one of Clive’s workshops says: “Clive made learning how to write poetry really fun. I’ve never written a poem before and he made it really easy.”

Reflections through poetry

Clive started writing military poems after tours in Bosnia, to process some of the memories of that conflict. He soon found that people liked his poems and could relate to the experiences he had or emotions he felt. The poetry was cathartic not only for Clive, but for others as well.

Rise up and find your voice Most recently, the wordly wordsmith has become the official poet to the Royal Hospital Chelsea and the Poet in Residence to NSI, where

YOUR MIND MATTERS THE Royal Caledonian Education Trust (RCET), Scotland’s Armed Forces Children’s Charity, has a new service supporting military youngsters across Scotland with their mental health. ‘Your Mind Matters’ – the first initiative of its kind in Scotland – was developed following consultations with more than 600 young people from forces families. Through these discussions more than 83 per cent of young people said that their wellbeing was negatively affected by the challenges that they were facing, many of which were unique to service life. These included the stress and anxiety over a

60 Army&You autumn 2020

he delivers poetry workshops to young people – teaching the next generation to rise up and find their voices. He says: “Poetry is the most accessible art form available to everyone

deployment of a loved one to the constant moving and upheaval to friendships and education caused by new postings. Isabelle, a member of RCET’s MYVoice Scotland forum, says: “There was a point when I was a bit younger where I felt really isolated. Where I lived there weren’t a lot of people who had been through the same things as me. “If I’d had support, I wouldn’t have gone through all of the difficult phases I had as a child and I wouldn’t be in quite the place

Get involved

NSI is inviting service children to share their thoughts through poetry, art, speech and song as part of its Voices of Armed Forces Children project. Find out more at neversuchinnocence.com

I am at the minute. I would have been a lot better.” Young people from the forces community will work with the charity to create a digital wellbeing tool to provide crucial support to children currently falling through the gaps: those who have recently moved to Scotland, children of veterans, forces young carers and those living in rural areas where direct support may not always be possible. The charity is also trialling face-to-face wellbeing support for forces children living in the West of Scotland, when it’s safe to do so. If you know of a child who may benefit from this service, encourage them, or a parent or guardian, to get in touch by email at rcet.org.uk or call 0131 322 7350. @ArmyandYou

Recipes for forces friendship

Nothing bring s patch familie s together as quickly as sha ring food or d ri n ks and often recipes are pa ssed over the fences and pushed throug h letterboxes. queen AJ Sha Our culinary rp has been e x p lo of military recip ring the world es in some cases passed around families and , , shared throu gh generation s…

Y FRIEND Eleanor Carlisle, who lived with her husband and young family on a patch in Scotland, was frequently asked to share her child-friendly biscuit recipe. As a result, we all kept a small round of low sugar biscuit dough in the fridge ready to be rolled out and turned into shapes at a moment’s notice. Here’s what you’ll need... l 85g margarine l 55g brown sugar l 1 egg l 1 banana l 450g plain flour l 60ml of maple syrup or honey l Flavourings – either a few drops of vanilla or 1tsp ginger or 2tsp cinnamon Method: Beat together margarine, sugar, egg, syrup and a flavouring of choice. Combine the flour until a dough is formed.

Chill for at least an hour. Roll out and cut shapes with cookie cutters. Place on a wellgreased sheet and bake at 190 degrees for 8-10 mins. Perfect for impatient toddlers.

Pass it on Shuna Colquhoun remembers various traditions such as Hermann friendship cakes being passed around the patch in Inverness. These work like a sweetened sourdough starter which you have to keep alive for ten days before baking and passing it on. “The Hermann cake lasted a while,” she says. “But no matter where we’ve lived, recipes using locally grown fruit are frequently shared, be that jams, jellies or anything with alcohol! “Really it’s the knowledge of where to forage that is key.” Shuna remembers pausing whilst packing up one of her quarters to draw a map of the best local spots to harvest berries and blackberries for an incoming family. Such ingredients are key to making sloe gin, for which you need: l 500g of sloe berries (works just as well with damsons, cherries or blackberries) l 300g of sugar l 1 litre of gin Method: Rinse the sloes, remove any twiggy parts and bung it all in a Kilner jar. Shake well once a day for the first week, then leave it for at least three months, turning the jar once a week or whenever you remember. Sieve out the fruit and drink it one year after making.

Eleanor’s biscuits www.armyandyou.co.uk

Waste not, want not! And before discarding those flavoursome sloes, why not try out Shuna’s boozy

Jac – Shuna’s bottler – hard at work

chocolate berries? You will need: l 500g discarded berries from sloe gin making l 250g of dark chocolate Method: Once you’ve made your sloe or damson gin, pour a bottle of sherry over the discarded fruit and let the berries sit in it for a month. Then strain it again. Chop up and scatter the berries on that magic black non-stick paper and pour over melted dark chocolate and put it in the fridge to set. Then cut and store in Tupperware. Eat within a month.

Favourite foods My fondest experiences of food on the patch have been barbecues, curry nights and bring-a-course-and-come-in-yourslippers-dinner-parties! What are yours? Tweet us @ArmyandYou or @AJSharpFoodie using #friendshiprecipes autumn 2020 Army&You 61

Giveaways

Click the giveaways tab at armyandyou.co.uk and follow the links. Entries close on 11 October 2020

HEAD FOR THE FAIRWAYS

If you’re a golf fan, Foxhills – an award-winning resort – is the place for you. It features two Championship-standard courses and outstanding practice facilities. When it’s time to relax, Foxhills has 70 luxury bedrooms, two restaurants, 11 tennis courts, four swimming pools, a health spa, yoga cabin and a youth club, all set in the Surrey countryside. One lucky reader can win an overnight B&B stay for two, with a round of golf on the nine-hole Manor course included, worth more than £200. And our runner up will receive a fourball voucher for the Farleigh Golf Club, also in Surrey, worth up to £200. Not available for Saturday night stays and subject to availability. The prize is open to serving regular and reserve families.

foxhills.co.uk

Kitchen campaigns

A mother’s touch

Need a no-nonsense guide to cooking, basic knife skills and creating campfire dishes? Then Commando Dad: The Cookbook – written by former Commando Neil Sinclair, who has swapped his beret for a chef’s hat – is a must-have in your kitchen. Learn essential culinary skills that will last a lifetime, find out how to shop smart to make the budget go further and master nutritious meals for the whole family unit, whether at base camp or out and about.

Would you like to give a gift which will make someone smile? It could be to celebrate an important occasion or just to mark getting through lockdown. Owned by military spouse Sophie Hodgson, MotherMade’s handmade personalised products are unique to each customer. The range includes babygrows, t-shirts, bags and purses for parents, babies and children.

We have five copies – worth £10.99 each – to give away.

Ten lucky winners will each win a £20 voucher to spend at mothermade.co.uk Published by Summersdale

62 Army&You autumn 2020

Rule the roost If you’re looking for a way to measure family life, these award-winning height charts will hold a place in your family’s home for years to come, wherever you are living. Hand-painted, each one has its own characteristics, so no two are the same. Military wife and motherof-three, Lucy Mans (see page 23), produces each height chart from her family home in the New Forest. They can be personalised and make a great gift for new families… or your own! Visit familyrule.co.uk One reader can win a personalised wooden ruler height chart, worth £145.

One entry per household per giveaway. Closing date for entries is 11 October 2020 unless otherwise stated. See page three for competition rules. Your information will not be used for marketing purposes. Winners’ names and T&Cs are published on the Army&You website.

@ArmyandYou

Train in style

Tuneful tuition

Want to train in comfort and style? Trident Fitness is gym wear designed by veterans and tested by serving soldiers. It was started last year by two former soldiers, Oliver and Tom, who grew a strong passion for health and fitness during their service and want to encourage and help others by creating comfort and style through great gym clothing. Follow Trident Fitness @tridentfitnessclothing on Instagram.

If your children are music-minded, Songwriting4Kids is for you! It teaches 8-13-year-olds how to write songs at their own pace, with an online course that covers how to read and write music as well as basic rhythms and lyrics. At the end of Level 1 they’ll have composed songs with a chorus which can be played back or printed off and played on an instrument. Level 2 covers how to write for a combination of instruments as well as voice. See songwriting4kids.com for more info.

First prize is a £25 voucher, second prize is £20 and third is £10 to spend at tridentfitness.co.uk – all readers get 10 per cent off with code Army&You10 until the end of December.

Baby bonding Are you a new mum looking for a way to relax with your baby? An online baby massage course from Mumborneveryminute could be the way forward. It includes easy-to-follow videos and a step-by-step guide to download, provided by a fellow army mum, midwife and baby massage instructor, Katy McGarry. All from the comfort of your home, at a time that suits you and your baby. For more, see mumborneveryminute.co.uk

We’ve got a Level 1 and 2 songwriting package for one lucky reader, worth £135.99, to give away.

One lucky reader will win an online baby massage course, worth £45.

o The top co-ed day and boarding school in Hertfordshire* o Great location o Pay no more than 10% our fees o Probably the best boarding accommodation in the UK * Best-Schools.co.uk - Top co-ed Boarding Schools by A Level

Come to an Open Morning* All Stages of Entry 19th Sept 09.30 - 13.00 Sixth Form 10th Oct 10.15am arrival 9.45am start Prep School (7+ - 11+ entry) 7th Nov

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Combining outstanding teaching with excellent examination results, some of the best boarding accommodation in the UK and a great location midway between London and Cambridge, Bishop’s Stortford College enables pupils to reach their full potential. Forces families, qualifying for CEA are required to pay no more than 10% of fees for full boarding places. Register for an Open Morning (*some events will be held virtually - see our website for details). We look forward to welcoming you.

Building Confidence for Life. +44 (0)1279 838604 admissions@BishopsStortfordCollege.org

autumn 2020 Army&You 63

Win

and a Enter our giveaway to win a copy of Roxy & Jones rules. Reading Force scrapbook. See page three for entry Already read it? Tell us your thoughts @ArmyandYou

HAVE FUN SHARING BOOKS

BOOK CLUB

FAIRY, FAIRY GOOD! In this edition’s Army&You and Reading Force Book Club, our forces youngsters share their views on Roxy & Jones: The Great Fairytale Cover-Up, written by Angela Woolfe…

Paperback £6.99, published by Walker Books

MICHELLE (9) The story is about two girls called Roxy and Jones who try and save the world from a diabolical magic. I liked this book because it had many references to fairy tales, like Frankie, Jones’ fairy godmother, who turned an aubergine into a motorbike. Roxy got stuck in a tower and found a magic mirror that talked, and Roxy’s brother and sister were called Hansel and Gretel. My favourite part is when Roxy finally finds out that Jones’ real name is Cinderella.

GRACE (11) I loved reading this book. It has so much humour – it’s sometimes sad but most of the time it’s funny and happy. The author described the characters very well and my favourite character is Jones. This book gets your heart racing and so excited that you can’t hold the excitement in! You rush to read what is going to happen. Overall, I love this book and would definitely recommend it.

JESSICA (10) I really loved this book and the two main characters, Jones and Roxy. Jones is wild whereas Roxy is quiet and polite. The book was very funny and I liked the rhyming mirror. My favourite part was when Jones insulted Bijou, a sassy girl, when she got glitter on her doughnut. It was clever how fairy tale characters were entwined in Roxy and Jones’ lives. I would highly recommend this to anyone who likes funny adventure stories.

READING Force is the free shared reading initiative for forces families where you can share a book and talk about it, together at home or via video call if separated from your soldier. You’ll receive a free book and scrapbook to fill in with your thoughts, letters, drawings and photographs. It’s a fun way to keep connected. Take part via your children’s school, HIVE, or register online at readingforce.org.uk

d If your children woul s for like to review book email the A&Y Book Club, rg.uk hattie@readingforce.o d ages with their names an

DON’T MOVE HOME WITH OUT US! Order your copy today. Lisa Rogerson m 07498 572309 e lisa@helpformovers.uk www.helpformovers.uk @HelpForMovers

64 Army&You autumn 2020

For every copy sold, a donation will be made to Help 4 Homeless Veterans.

@ArmyandYou

BlogSpot

Welcome to Army&You’s BlogSpot. Write your thoughts about army life and send them to editor@aff.org.uk

BEST BLOG

Coronavirus correspondence now it’s summer. I know that you wish you were here to support us through such a vulnerable time. I know you wish you could have kissed the children when their school closed and told them that it’ll be fine. I know that you wanted to keep us safe. If you were here, our daily walk would be more of an adventure, maybe the children wouldn’t moan as much as I try to tear them away from their screens. We talk on the phone every day. Our teenager said we have to even if we’re tired, I hadn’t realised that he feels the responsibility to hold you up too.

By Emma Krause, @armywifemumme

An open letter to my husband, deployed throughout COVID-19 in a land far away! Of course you are away. Birthdays, nit outbreaks, kitchen renovations, house moves, world pandemics – you seem to miss them all. How ironic that you actually left at the crack of dawn on Valentine’s Day! If I didn’t have a sense of humour, I might think that you’d done it on purpose. I realise now that all my basic training as a military wife has led me to this lockdown. I’m completely au fait with my plans being pulled from under me. Our children are happy to accept a huge change of life plan and seem to take it in their stride. I have a pocket full of military clichés that should get us through. Actually, this is not our first rodeo. This time though we don’t actually know when we’ll see you again and that’s very different. I sent you your birthday parcel, it was a bit rubbish as all the shops were shut. We had to cobble a present together from things in the house. In between our attempts at home schooling we made you some cards.

Once I got to the front of the long, twometre distanced queue, the lady at the post office said your parcel was over the weight restriction for BFPO. I sobbed as she passed your parcel back to me to take apart. People didn’t know where to look! I don’t suppose anyone understood, how could they? I know you wish you were here too. Not just for all the usual things you’re missing. Not just because the children have grown, not just because you left in the snow and

Emma wins a £35 voucher to spend at Gillian Jones Designs — gillianjonesdesigns.com — for our best blog. Artist Gillian, a former Royal Navy officer and military spouse, specialises in vibrant and contemporary military art and design. If you can’t quite find what you’re looking for, she’s also happy to create bespoke commissions. Follow @gillianjonesdesigns on Instagram and Facebook, and @GillAJones on Twitter.

Pride and dread By @CorporalMum I’ve thought a lot about what it’s like being an army mum or dad, or any military parent. Does it mark us out as different? As much as I’m an army mum, I’m also a civilian mum. It’s different, but not different. www.armyandyou.co.uk

For reasons we don’t understand you were meant to be there. I feel comforted that you are keeping other families safe and helping them through this time, they need you, and they are lucky to have you. We’re so proud of you and have clapped for you on Thursdays. You’ll come home eventually, and we’ll celebrate. We’ll have another lockdown, so you can join in with all the fun bits. Don’t worry, I’ve saved you lots of jobs!

I’m not entirely sure where the soldier lives. I know exactly where the other two live. The soldier lives here with us, except when he’s not here. Sometimes he’s home every weekend and other times we won’t see him for months. We’re a literal halfway house and I guess it will stay this way until he has his own home or a quarter.

Depending on where he is, there are jobs we need to do for him. When he was overseas, we had to get his car MOT’d, take delivery of parcels, keep an eye on any post, vote by proxy, organise birthday cards. He’ll call when he’s driving home and ask ‘what’s in the fridge?’. >> Continued on page 66 autumn 2020 Army&You 65

>> Not very well disguised code for ‘if you haven’t been to the supermarket to stock up, please go now’.

their soldier brother. Not so long ago when the soldier was on a course, the teenager said ‘I don’t want him to go to war’. He wasn’t going further than the field, but it was suddenly revealed that I’m not the only one with a worry seed. Talking of that worry seed, the one that planted itself into my brain as soon he joined up, I think this is where the difference becomes a chasm. This is what’s behind every feeling or action – pride and dread. Pride in the others doesn’t come with dread.

Arriving home, he’ll dump the big black bag and disappear to his mates’, let’s not pretend that we’re the main attraction. And there’s the washing – particularly if he’s come straight from ‘the field’ and half ‘the field’ ends up in the wash. I consider where the soldier will be and when because I don’t want to be away at the wrong time. It’s hard because we want to see him go and return. This is us more than him. We’re sometimes dithering, putting stuff off, putting people off. We wait. For news, for confirmation of dates, for

Big fan of blogs? Read more at armyandyou.co.uk/blogspot

phone calls, for them to come home. I was recently reassured by my Twitter military parent friends that I’m not alone in having a look at messaging services to see when they were last online. Non-military parents do it too, but the difference is they could

probably just pick up the phone. As an army parent you’re very proud of your soldier but that doesn’t take away from being proud of the others. I also recognise their concern for

We have a choice to be parents, but I didn’t choose to be an army mum, it’s something I’ve had to adjust to, and like all other types of parenting, as he moves onto new experiences, so, to some extent, do we.

Taking a leap of faith By Emma Jones, @emmajonesfitness

20 March and haven’t looked back. I doubted if I was cut out for this style of teaching, but I put my big girl pants on and went for it!

At the start of lockdown, I couldn’t help feeling I was in familiar territory. Uncertainty is a factor of military life. Not seeing friends and family, feeling far away from your core support network, having plans cancelled, putting on a brave face, fumbling through to find your new normal, and figuring out how on earth you can cope with it all. I took a leap of faith, like so many, overcoming hurdles and all sorts of emotions, by completely changing my business to adapt to lockdown. I’m new to fitness as a career but things were going well. I was running three classes a week, studying for my next PT qualification, and was asked to run a families’

66 Army&You autumn 2020

bootcamp at our local military base. I was due to start new classes for preand post-natal fitness. Busy and exciting times. But overnight it all ground to a halt. I felt robbed, annoyed and didn’t know how I could continue, or if I even should. How could I compete with celebrities and Instagram influencers? What would my business model look like? Did I have the energy to turn it on its head? What I did know is that I wanted to continue with what I’ve worked so hard for; I also felt a responsibility for my class members. The sessions bring a sense of

community, of being in it together and I know only too well what a difference that can make. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Going online was the only way; a big learning curve was ahead.

A friend introduced me to Zoom so I could see my ladies in real time, coach them and get that class feel. I have a great rapport with them and wanted this to continue. I hosted my first class on

It’s not perfect nor easy. Lego and iPads keep my children entertained and my dog often joins in. I have the fear that I’ll be interrupted like that BBC interview when the mum has to commando crawl to retrieve her toddler! Before the class, I rearrange my lounge, do a sound check, get timers, music and kit in place, knowing I’ve got to reset everything before getting stuck into home-schooling. Nothing replaces oneto-one contact and I pray that one day I’ll be teaching in person again, but I’m glad I took that leap of faith. @ArmyandYou

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With Trinity you can combine three fantastic standalone schemes:

Bovis Homes Discount Scheme £500 Discount for every £25,000 of the property value - plus flooring up to £3,000*

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Armed Forces Help to Buy Scheme

Buy a home with just a 5% deposit. The Government will loan you up to 20% of the property’s value!

Are you in the market for a new home and looking for the best purchase package out there for Armed Forces personnel? Now is a great time to think about moving as The Government has extended the Forces Help to Buy scheme until the end of 2022! Bovis Homes has developments throughout England, including a number that are close to major military bases, where we have a range of homes from 2 to 6 bedroom properties in attractive locations.

For further information about the schemes and where we are building, please go to – bovishomes.co.uk The Armed Forces purchase scheme is listed within the ‘Need help to Move’ section and you can find the nearest development to you through our ‘search for a new home’

Service personnel can be advanced up to 50% of annual salary (maximum £25,000) interest free!

The Bovis Homes Armed Forces Discount Scheme has specific terms and conditions. Help to Buy Equity Loan and Forces Help to Buy have specific terms amd conditions and are subject to affordability criteria as prescribed by Homes England and the Ministry of Defence. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers or promotions. Please ask your sales advisor for further information. Photograph shown depicts a typical Bovis Homes interior. YOUR HOME MAY BE REPOSSESSED IF YOU DO NOT KEEP UP REPAYMENTS ON A MORTGAGE OR ANY OTHER DEBT SECURED ON IT. *Flooring to be chosen from the Bovis Homes Select range.

REGULARS | RESERVES | VETERANS | FAMILIES

DURING THESE UNCERTAIN TIMES, WE ARE STILL HERE AND READY TO HELP The world around you may be changing but we haven’t. Forcesline is still open and here to support you. Health, family, loneliness, debt or addiction problems don’t keep quiet, talk to us. Forcesline, a free, independent helpline, outside the chain of command for the Armed Forces and their families.

0800 731 4880 Open weekdays, 09:00 to 17:30 Or get in touch online at

ssafa.org.uk/forcesline

Registered as a charity in England and Wales Number 210760 in Scotland Number SC038056 and in Republic of Ireland Number 20202001. Established 1885.