THE FRONT
INCONSEQUENTIAL NEWS QUIZ
PARTIALLY SMOOSHED EDITION Play at home, after asking your hogs how they would spend $6.2 million.
C&H DEAL: Did it involve a hot oil backrub by Jason Rapert?
O’Donnell, even supplying one with a fake suicide note. B) She also allegedly inquired about murdering Randolph County Judge Harold Erwin and Henry Boyce, who was then the prosecutor on the Linda Collins murder case. C) She also allegedly inquired about having someone blow up her 2005 Honda Civic, which was at the Randolph County Jail, to destroy evidence that might be in the car. D) All of the above, with the inmates O’Donnell allegedly approached quickly ratting her out to jailers.
2) Christmas Day 2019 didn’t feel all that Christmasy in the Little Rock area. Which of the following made Christmas in the capital city real weird this year? A) Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents stopped Santa at the border, locked his reindeer in squalid cages and deported all his elves to Middle Earth. B) The hot toy this year was Barbie’s My First Presidential Impeachment Playset. C) Evangelical Christians just couldn’t bring themselves to celebrate the birth of a refugee family’s anchor baby. D) Little Rock reached a balmy 70 degrees on Dec. 25.
4) Cipriano Rodriguez, 39, of White Hall, was recently arrested at North Little Rock’s McCain Mall. According to police, what did Rodriguez allegedly do to land himself in the ironbar hotel? A) He disputed that Dippin’ Dots is, in fact, the ice cream of the future. B) He stood outside Jerky Hut with a sign that said: “Jerky Hut jerky is people.” C) He led mall security on a slow-speed chase while riding a motorized panda bear. D) He allegedly left his 2-year-old daughter alone in a running car in the parking lot while he shopped.
3) Rebecca O’Donnell, the woman accused of murdering former state Sen. Linda Collins of Pocahontas at Collins’ home in May 2019, recently managed to catch several new charges while in jail. According to investigators, which of the following did O’Donnell allegedly do while she was locked up awaiting trial for murder? A) She allegedly approached at least four different inmates at the Jackson County Jail about hiring someone to kill Collins’ exhusband and make it look like a suicide with 10 FEBRUARY 2020
ARKANSAS TIMES
5) The governor’s office recently announced the completion of a deal that will finally close C&H Hog Farms, the sprawling Newton County operation whose existence has threatened the pristine Buffalo River watershed ever since the factory farm was built near Mount Judea in 2012. Which of the following did the state agree to give the farm’s owners to make them shut down the hog operation? A) A first-born Huckabee. B) Three-minute, all-you-can-grab shopping spree at Tractor Supply Co.
C) One completely heterosexual warm oil backrub per year, delivered by a Speedo-clad Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Talibaptistan). D) $6.2 million, even though Arkansas taxpayers are still stuck with the tab for cleaning up the farm’s massive liquid hog waste lagoons. 5) The Washington Post recently picked up the story of Kenneth Martin, a field training officer for the Fort Smith Police Department, who happened to be at a Fort Smith area Walmart when a call came in that two people had been arrested for shoplifting at the same store. What happened? A) He was told by store security that a young man and woman, who had been shopping with their two small children, had been detained after allegedly trying to shoplift food and a teddy bear. B) Martin took the things the couple had allegedly attempted to steal to the service desk, where he paid for the items out his own pocket and gave them to the mother and her children. Then he transported the young man to jail because store security officers insisted on pressing charges against him. C) Martin later told a reporter with the Post: “I’ve been a young parent, wondering where I was going to stretch that nickel to, and when I was growing up, I learned that when a mom and dad don’t have the means, you don’t let the kids suffer. If I see somebody down on their luck, I’ll try to help them however I can, and I’m not the only one. There are thousands and thousands of officers who do the same thing every day and never get any recognition for it.” D) All of the above. Good job, officer.
ANSWERS: D, D, D, D, D
1) The Pulaski County Sheriff’s Office took to Twitter in January to share details of an incident in which an elderly driver escaped injury even though his car was struck by two freight trains after his car became stuck on a railroad crossing on Rixie Road. Which of the following phrases was used in the tweet to describe the condition of the driver’s car after it was struck by the trains? A) “Totally bollocksed.” B) “Busted to shit.” C) “Casey Jonesed.” D) “Partially smooshed.”
