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Vinegar into Honey
are frustrating your desires?” This may or may not be possible. As you assess the situation, keep an open mind to the possibility that you may not get what you want—in fact, you may get what you don’t want. This thought will help you to rein in the demanding energy of your desire as you assess the practical options. Keep a positive attitude. Don’t rely on the hope or expectation that your wish will be fulfilled for your positive attitude. Stay positive as a policy, not as a barometer. Stay present and aware as you relate openly to the situation. Keep in mind that overcoming obstacles may be difficult and painful, and may take time and effort. It may require great patience, perseverance, flexibility, imagination, and an openness to that which you cannot control. Sometimes, you have to make a choice on the spot. For instance, if a waiter accidentally spills soup on your suit, you would have several choices. You could become angry and assault him, and face criminal charges. You could storm out of the restaurant and brood for a week about your ruined evening and the carelessness of other people. You could take a rather theatrical moral high road and graciously forgive the accident with the stipulation that the restaurant pay for the dry cleaning and forget the check. That might satisfy your sense of justice and allow you to feel like a fair but firm fellow. Or, you could simply forgive the waiter and bear the burden yourself. It was an accident. He didn’t mean to spill the soup on your pants. No doubt, he hides his guilt and apprehension behind his sincere apologies. He would be happy if you forgave him. Perhaps he would think of you as a kind and wonderful person. On the other hand, you would have to pay for your own dry cleaning, and the meal. You might have to let go of your desire for justice. You might have to let go of your pride and even your dignity, since you would have to finish your dinner with wet pants. Somehow, running through all the fundamentally egotistical options can trip one’s sense of humor and proportion. You could decide to take the whole situation quite lightly, as a humorous mishap with no truly dire consequences. You might have a perfectly pleasant, if slightly moist, evening.