Area of Effect, Issue #5 by Area of Effect

AREA OF

June 2016 • Issue 5

EFFECT Blowing up geek culture

FEATURE

CHUCK BARTOWSKI: A HUMBLE HERO What does it take to be great? p. 13

FANTASY

OF MICE AND WORDS How Brian Jacques succeeded in painting words for blind children in Redwall p. 20

HIGHLIGHTS

Fullmetal Alchemist • ERASED • Redwall • Harry Potter • The Lord of the Rings • Sherlock • Chuck • Brooklyn Nine-Nine • Con Man • Mad Max: Fury Road • Mario Kart • Journey

“Being a spy is about putting aside your own feelings for the greater good... I chose to be a spy for my friends and my family. And for you.” —Chuck Bartowski

AREA OF EFFECT EXPLORING GEEK CULTURE THROUGH MORALITY, SOCIAL JUSTICE, PHILOSOPHY, AND FAITH.

JUNE 2016, ISSUE 5 Publisher | GEEKDOM HOUSE info@geekdomhouse.com Founder | KYLE RUDGE kyle@geekdomhouse.com Executive Editor | ALLISON BARRON allison@geekdomhouse.com Designer | ABDESIGNS admin@allisonbarrondesigns.com Staff Writers | Dustin Asham, Michael Boyce, Casey Covel, Sheela Cox, Jason Dueck, Victoria Grace Howell, Christopher Johnson, Justin Koop, Robert Martin, Kyla Neufeld, Charles Sadnick, Dustin Schellenberg, Jennifer Schlamaeuss-Perry Contributing Artists | Joe Hogan (Joe Hogan Art), Justin Currie (Chasing Artwork), Nicholas Olsen (Art of Olsen), Claudia Gironi (Namecchan/Wisesnail), Jerome Jacinto (chichapie) Cover art | “Not Shaken, Just Nerd” by Joe Hogan Back Cover art | “Chuck Tug-o-War” by Joe Hogan ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: allison@geekdomhouse.com Area of Effect magazine is published four times a year in September, December, March, and June, by Geekdom House, 319 Elgin Ave, Winnipeg, MB, R3A 0K4. To read more articles online, visit www. geekdomhouse.com. WEBSITE Read our articles online at www.geekdomhouse.com FACEBOOK Like our page at facebook.com/geekdomhouse TWITTER Follow or tweet at us @GeekdomHouse INSTAGRAM Follow our posts @GeekdomHouse ABOUT GEEKDOM HOUSE: Geekdom House is a non-profit organization based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The mission of Geekdom House is to be a faith-filled community with fanatics of sci-fi, fantasy, comics, games, and more. Geekdom House is an organization under EQUIP CANADA (BN: 889540738RR0001).

Where’s the Love in Mad Max? Part of the reason I think Mad Max: Fury Road has this interest in agape is the length the film goes to undermine any suggestion of romantic love between the two main protagonists. 2 • AOE MAGAZINE

contents by Allison Barron

Erasing the Past by Charles Sadnick

Chuck Bartowski: A Humble Hero

by Casey Covel

The Sacred Texts of Geek Culture by Kyla Neufeld

A Misunderstood Redhead by Dustin Asham

Lessons of the Emotionless

OTHER

by Allison Barron

Nerely Myself: Con Man and Identity by Jason Dueck

Where’s the Love in Mad Max? by Michael Boyce

Chuck Bartowski: A Humble Hero

VIDEO GAMES AOE RECOMMENDS

by Michael Penner

Redwall: Of Mice and Words

Life, Death, and Mario Kart by Kyle Rudge

Journeying to Eden by Casey Covel

3 Co-Op Video Games to Play with Your Friends by AoE Staff

3 Tabletop Games Storytellers Will Love by AoE Staff

16 8

Sherlock

Con Man

Of Mice and Words FANTASY

ANIME

A Heart Made Fullmetal

Fullmetal Alchemist

AOE MAGAZINE • 3

THE SACRED TEXTS OF GEEK CULTURE by Kyla Neufeld

here are certain texts (and I am using the word “text” here to encompass TV shows, movies, books, and games) within geek culture that have achieved “sacred” status. Some of these include The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Firefly, Chuck, The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy. Offer any critique of these texts and the fandom takes up arms, calling for the heads of those who dare to say a bad word about them. But can’t I critique something and love it at the same time? Engaging a text critically means asking questions about characterization and representation. How are women, people of colour, and body types portrayed? Do the female characters have agency? For people of colour, how many of them appear in the text? Do they have meaningful dialogue, or are their lines just filler? In terms of bodies, what types are included; are fatness and ugliness signifiers for evil characters? “Critical” also means being aware of the privilege and biases you bring to a text. For example, I recognize that, as a white person, I will read any character as white unless they are assigned a specific race. This is because “white” is my bias, and “white” is also the default race in the majority of books and films.

Big Ideas vs. Subtle Codes I recently had a conversation with a friend about how the portrayal of women as weak in early sci-fi contributes to the larger problem of misogyny in geek culture, and his response was that those books were about big ideas and so the characterization shouldn’t matter. I disagree. The big themes of a text do not negate the validity of the more subtle aspects of characterization. The best sci-fi explores alternative histories and questions about humanity, like what would happen if we lived in a world with robots or artificial intelligence. These big questions are valuable and should be explored, but they don’t discount the importance of the other, more subtle aspects of the text. For example, most people can read the Harry Potter series and see that it’s about the dangers of bigotry and prejudice. However, a more close reading focused on our beloved Ron Weasley might show that he’s actually a bit of a misogynist: he adheres to the patriarchal ideas that he has to “protect” his sister from possible suitors; the only reason he sticks up for Fleur when Hermione and Ginny are making fun of her is because she’s pretty (it has nothing to do with her intelligence or personality); and he gets angry at

Hermione and Ginny, but not Harry, when he learns that they have all kissed someone and he hasn’t. This reading of Ron isn’t meant to put him down. Rather, this makes him a great example of how misogynist behaviours creep into our daily lives even when we are all-around good people. And, recognizing these qualities in Ron can help us see where they pop up in our own lives. “But it’s just fiction.” This is something I hear a lot: The way characters are portrayed in books/movies/video games shouldn’t matter because it’s just fiction. This implies that fiction doesn’t have any bearing on our lives, that we can read or watch something without it affecting us at all. I argue we wouldn’t become so protective of our favourite texts if they didn’t affect us in some way. The books we read and movies we watch have real power to colour our perceptions of other people, and that can be a detriment when the portrayals of others are problematic.

There’s been some recent controversy around Rowling’s new stories about the history of magic in North America. These were meant to be a lead up to the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which takes place in New York in the 1920s. In doing so, Rowling has appropriated Native American culture and beliefs into her world, and relied on tired tropes to portray Native American witches and wizards: they didn’t use wands until European witches and wizards introduced them (which has underlying implications of European colonialism), and they were adept at plant and animal magic, playing on the trope of the “noble savage.” Rowling also incorporates the Navajo belief of the skinwalker into her world. So many Native American scholars, who are fans of Harry Potter themselves, have responded to this by saying that it’s a problem. Their basic argument is that they have to fight every day to be seen as real people with living beliefs because they are so often portrayed as fantasy in the media.

CAN’T I CRITIQUE SOMETHING AND LOVE IT AT THE SAME TIME?

continued on page 7

AOE MAGAZINE • 5

“Soul Bound” by Chasing Artwork

A HEART MADE

FULLMETAL BY ALLISON BARRON

urning down your house might seem like a crazy thing to do, but for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood’s Edward and Alphonse Elric, it symbolizes their determination to start over and never turn back. They had made a horrible mistake and they resolve to never do it again, and never let others follow the terrifying path they went down. As young boys with the gift of alchemy, a grieving Ed and Al had tried to resurrect their mother using their powers, and they failed miserably. Not only did their attempt create a monstrous shell of a human, but it completely obliterated Al’s body and destroyed Ed’s left leg, the price of their sin. But Ed refused to lose his little brother: “No, dammit. You won’t take him too. Give him back! He’s my brother! Take my leg. Take my arm! Take my heart, ANYTHING, YOU CAN HAVE IT! Just give him back! He’s my little brother; he’s all I have left!” Ed sacrificed his right arm to bring his brother’s soul back and attached it to a nearby suit of armour using alchemy. The two are then left to face the consequences of their actions with the realization of why resurrection is taboo to alchemists. Humans are not meant to have that kind of power. What I find amazing about Ed and Al’s story is their acceptance of their own sin and their willingness to suffer, not as self-inflicted punishment for what they did, but simply as an acknowledgement of the consequences. They choose not to ignore or forget the lesson they learned, but fight against others who are trying to abuse alchemy in a similar way. They also suffer a hell of a lot for each other along the way, seeing things that no teenage boys should have to witness (Shou Tucker episode, anyone?). Ironically, though, they spend most of the series looking for a similar kind of power; they are not trying to resurrect their mother any more, but they want to return their bodies back to normal. Near the beginning of the series, when talking to Al about their future plans, Ed calls himself a hopeless idiot who hasn’t grown up one bit, who hasn’t learned anything from what their attempt to resurrect their mom should have taught him. Al responds, “Without a body, I can’t feel the rain hitting my face. That’s something I miss… all the time. I wanna get my body back soon, brother. I just wanna be human again. Even if it means going against the flow of the world, and trying to do the impossible.” Despite Ed’s words, the brothers show throughout the story that they have indeed learned much. They fight against those who want God’s power for themselves. They refuse to sacrifice others in order to get what they want. They understand pain and consequences better than most. “There’s no such thing as a painless lesson,” says Ed in “Journey’s End.” “They just don’t exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can’t gain anything without losing something first, although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you’ll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah, a heart made fullmetal.” Pain is a horrible part of life. It doesn’t matter if

it’s physical or emotional, it is horrible. But I do believe experiencing suffering enables me to learn things I could not comprehend otherwise. Would I be able to empathize with people who have chronic illnesses if I did not have one myself? Would I be careful about hurting others’ feelings if I had not had mine hurt in the past? Would I be forgiving of a friend’s mistake if I had never made any myself? I don’t think it’s just experiencing suffering that makes a fullmetal heart, I think it also involves acknowledging my own humanity. The real world is just as cruel and punishing as the one the Elrics face. History is filled with those who tried to power their own immortality by heartlessly destroying everything that is around them. Perhaps it is not through alchemy, but it would not be hard to find political, economic, or even religious institutions where they are doing exactly the same thing: seeking their own immortality regardless of the cost. Maybe the world could use more people with fullmetal hearts. w “Sacred Texts” continued from page 5

A common trope in many TV shows is to have some ancient, mystical Native American power rise up, often looking for revenge for past wrongs, that the heroes then have to defeat: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, and Smallville all have episodes centred around this very storyline. (The podcast “Metis in Space” does effective analyses on many of these episodes). These portrayals are a problem because we are so heavily influenced by them. Those Native American scholars received so much backlash for their critiques because fans were ready to defend their favourite author without understanding that they are continuing to silence an already marginalized people group. I absolutely understand the impulse to defend a text. My most sacred of texts is The Lord of the Rings, and it is so easy for me to ignore anything that might be wrong with it. And yet, one of my own critiques is that it is not a feminist text: the narrative is dominated by men in a world where men go on adventures and women stay home (and before anyone brings up Éowyn, remember: she is the exception and does not prove the rule). The depiction of the only people of colour in the text (Easterlings and Haradrim) as evil is also problematic: there is a long history of depicting darkness as evil, which has fed racist ideas that people with dark skin are also evil. Really thinking about a text can only make us better participants in geek culture. Once we understand our own privilege and biases, and how representations affect our real-world perceptions, we can work towards making geek culture welcoming, inviting, and safe for all who want to be a part of the community. w AOE MAGAZINE • 7

NERELY MYSELF: CON MAN AND IDENTITY J By Jason Dueck

“

ust be yourself.” This is the oft-quoted advice of a parent or friend before our first day at a new job or when meeting a group of new people. It seems like good advice, but whenever I hear someone give it, I get anxious. Which version of myself am I supposed to be? Am I the life-ofthe-party version, trying to make everyone laugh? Do I find a group of people talking about Star Wars and weigh in with my thoughts on Rey ‘s characterization in The Force Awakens? There are a number of versions of “me” I could be, so which one is the right one? When I watched Con Man, I saw Wray Nerely struggle with the same question. Firefly’s Alan Tudyk plays Nerely, a character inspired and exaggerated from Tudyk’s own experiences with fandom and conventions. Famous for his role in a short-lived and much-loved sci-fi TV series called Spectrum, Nerely now lives on the convention circuit, signing posters and smiling while people shout his decade-old catchphrase at him—“I’ll see you in hell!” Nerely loves his fans. Mostly. Sometimes. He knows he wouldn’t be where he is in life without them, but he resents the fact that they only want him to be the version of him they know from TV. While lamenting at an airport bar, Nerely runs into Sean Astin (or at least a fictional version of Sean

Astin) who tells him to milk his mediocre fame for all it’s worth. “They think you’re a spaceship pilot. What’s wrong with that? That’s better than reality. Just be who they think you are.” Throughout the series Nerely can’t seem to get it right. When he tries to play the fame card, it blows up in his face. When he tries to act humble, he is thrust into the spotlight to make a fool of himself. Wray Nerely doesn’t seem to know who he is or—more importantly— who he wants to be. “Just be yourself” seems like good advice until you realize you don’t know how to do it. Identity is a tricky thing. I’m from a small town where I had the same group of friends for the better part of a decade. We went to the same church and hung out almost every night. We watched the same movies together and all knew each other’s stories. When I was 21, I had a chance to live in London, England, for six months. Suddenly I was living in very close quarters with 40 people who’d never met me before. They didn’t know my opinions on Star Wars or why I thought Joss Whedon was the perfect choice to direct The Avengers. For the first time in my life, I could choose how people saw me and what role I played in a new group. The question I found myself scared to face was, “Who do I want to be?” I had a youth pastor who said, “You’re the average of your ten best friends.” As I met new people and

CO-OP VIDEO GAMES TO PLAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS

As recommended by AoE staff

8 • AOE MAGAZINE

TERRARIA

made new friends, my identity—my personal average—was changing. I had never had to give much thought to who I was before. When Wray Nerely is invited to reunite with the cast of Spectrum for a movie reboot, he is forced to confront the fact that he wants to be more than “the guy who played Cash Wayne on Spectrum.” He wants to change his average and he has to give thought to his identity. Con Man takes a silly look at the way we see identity in actors we love. I can empathize with the fans who swarm Nerely for autographs and call him by his character’s name, because I still associate Firefly actors with their characters. Of course, I know Nathan Fillion isn’t really Malcolm Reynolds, but part of me still chooses to forget that whenever I watch Firefly. Who am I? I’m still figuring that out. But if I live my life following the advice of fictional Sean Astin and just be who people think I am, I’ll be robbing myself of being who I want to be: Malcolm Reynolds. Now wouldn’t that be shiny? w

An action-adventure sandbox game that our editor thought she would hate. But then she didn’t. And then she spent many, many hours exploring, digging, building, fighting, high-fiving her partner, and admiring her faithful penguin companion.

Photo by Robert Meeks / Flickr

KEEPING IT IN THE GAME

By Michael Penner

t’s another game of Settlers of Catan (with the Cities However, my friends and I agreed a long time and Knights expansion). I am seated at the table ago to employ the art of keeping it in the game. We with three friends. The mood is tense, as during know that within the confines of a game, we all like to our quest for thirteen points, they are tied with twelve be ruthless and nasty; if someone does that well, they points apiece. I, on the other hand, only have seven, deserve to win. However, that means the next time but it is my turn. I play the Alchemist, which allows me we play, we will have learned from it and will adjust to choose the numbers on the dice. I’m going with five. or strengthen our own play. This is how our gaming Five seems good. Five means everyone at the table relationships work, and we all love it. produces wheat. Naturally, I follow that up with the I’ve tried to bring that concept into other areas Resource Monopoly, forcing the other players to give of my life. In a similar way to board games, I’ve heard me two wheat. After playing Irrigation (more wheat) it said that religion and politics are best left untouched and the Merchant (ability to trade, and one point), my if you want to remain friends with those around you. turn has become an epic tale of underdog victory. TakBut I believe that within a group of friends, we can ing the cloth citadel (two points) and longest road (two have wild disagreements in beliefs, interpretations, or points), I build one final settlement political leanings, and still come for the win. out of them as a strong community. WE CAN HAVE WILD Victory is mine. It’s because we know that “iron With that comeback, I win my DISAGREEMENTS AND STILL sharpens iron” and that when it fifth game in a row against those comes to our disagreements, there COME OUT OF THEM AS friends. My victory is even more are always things to learn and ways satisfying because they had spent that we can strengthen our own STRONG COMMUNITY. the first 95% of the game making stances. We learn from each other sure I had a tough time getting anywhere. However, the same way we do in board games. once they had decided I was no longer a threat, one of Arguments, debates, and friction can have them moved the robber, allowing me to produce exacta tendency to polarize people and entrench their ly the cards I needed to win. Their mistake. (The next opinions. For me, I think this comes from my fear game, that same player sacrificed a chance to win just that if I turn out to be wrong, people will think less to make sure I didn’t, but I digress.) of me. I think people dislike losing games for the I’m sure I have played over 100 games of Setsame reason. But when I reframe a disagreement tlers with these particular gaming buddies. Each of us into a learning opportunity, I find the freedom to be has won our fair share of games, and unspeakable acts wrong. were done to ruin strategies and destroy cities. Yet, When I find myself in an argument, I want to throughout, our friendships remained intact. look for the ways I can learn about the other stances. Many popular websites have devoted articles to the Look for the ways I can learn more about my own. Use idea that board games ruin friendships. “6 Great Games that argument as a chance to grow into a stronger, (For Ruining Friendships)” or “15 Board Games That De- more well-informed person. And the next time I trade stroy Friendships” or a Reddit discussion trying to decide all my wheat away, only to claim it back with a Monopwhich game is “the most friendship destroying.” oly card… well, you should’ve seen that one coming. w

MONACO Assemble your team of thieves and get ready to case the joint, because Monaco: What’s Yours is Mine is all about the loot. And, of course, the yelling at your friends for dying right in the middle of the guards’ lunchroom.

DON’T STARVE TOGETHER Explore a world of strange creatures, dangers, and surprises in this survival game. Don’t go crazy in the wilderness. Don’t get killed. And don’t blink. Uhh... I mean, don’t starve.

AOE MAGAZINE • 9

LESSONS

THE

OF F

or an unemotional introvert like me, baring emotions can be rough. I kinda hate it. I am not alone. At least, I have several TV characters to keep me company. Chuck and en garde Sarah Walker is a woman of many secrets, and for good reason. The Chuck heroine’s complicated upbringing and CIA training has formed her into a deadly, unemotional, and guarded secret agent. Before she meets Chuck (a typical nerd working at a Buy More), she rarely thinks about life beyond her next mission. And after they first meet, her history, background, and emotions are kept closely guarded. She doesn’t even tell him her real name. As Chuck and Sarah get closer and realize they have feelings for each other, Chuck gets more emotional and Sarah gets more cold and distant. Though she is much more sympathetic to Chuck’s plight than her partner Casey is, she is afraid of her growing feelings for him. In “Chuck Versus the Three Words,” when Sarah is trying to train Chuck to be a spy, she tells him, “You need to learn to ignore your emotions. Spies do not have feelings. Feelings get you killed. You need to learn to bury them in a place deep inside.” I know exactly how Sarah feels. Well, maybe not exactly since I’ve never been a spy (or if I have, I certainly wouldn’t admit it here. Shhh.). But I understand. I experienced both ends of the emotional spectrum growing up via members of my family. I had a couple extremely unemotional family members, who kept their feelings buried deep inside, and a couple extremely emotional ones, who let out their pent-up feelings in outbursts of anger and shouting matches. As a quiet introvert myself, I decided the latter didn’t look healthy or fun, and I would join the ranks of the stoic flag holders in my family. I came to believe 10 • AOE MAGAZINE

by Allison Barron that letting people know how I felt was a weakness; it made me feel vulnerable and I didn’t like that feeling. Crying in front of someone was an absolute no-no. If you loved someone, you didn’t tell them that; and you especially didn’t tell a guy you had feelings for him. That was just giving them the opportunity to hurt you. These are the same sentiments that Sarah Walker has been living by. But they don’t work for her; it’s obvious she wants something more when she pulls Chuck into a kiss during a moment she believes they are about to die. And holding in his feelings certainly doesn’t work for Chuck, either. His bottled-up emotions interfere with his ability to focus and access the spy database (called the Intersect) that has been uploaded to his brain. Chuck is at his best when he has opened up to Sarah and is able to talk through how he feels. Guarding your emotions might protect you from feeling pain, yes—but building that wall so closely around yourself also prevents the healing of past hurts. As Sarah gradually opens up and lets herself be vulnerable with Chuck, she finds she is given the strength to deal with her emotions about Bryce (her ex-boyfriend and former partner), her childhood experiences of conning with her father, and other past traumas. By being vulnerable, she finds peace. By being weak, she is strong.

Chuck: Sarah, you don’t get it. You and Casey were right, okay. I’m… I’m a lemon. I don’t work. My emotions just mess everything up. Sarah: No. Chuck, listen. I was wrong… I have worked with the best spies in the world. And you know what? Chuck: They’re on their way here to save us? Sarah: None of them can do what you can do. (Scene from “Chuck Versus the Pink Slip) Vulnerability is something necessary for creating strong relationships. After I spent my middle school and high school years keeping my feelings closely guarded, I gradually learned that my true friends were those who didn’t think less of me for showing weakness. I also learned that when I was struggling with something emotionally, it was, in fact, easier to deal with when I leaned on others for support. And, as I am a Christian, I also believed God was asking me to be this vulnerable with Him too. God asks His servants to be vulnerable all the time. David, the one who faced Goliath with nothing but a stone in a slingshot, is a prime example of this. We read about him reaching out to God in the Psalms in fear, despair, and brokenness many times: “A broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm

51:17). Mary also shows vulnerability when she washes Jesus’ feet with perfume at a dinner party in front of many esteemed guests and then wipes His feet with her hair ( John 12). I imagine she knew she wasn’t even worthy to wash the feet of her God, but she did it anyway, in full view of those who would scorn her for it. Being vulnerable doesn’t equal weakness. To me, sharing my emotions with the people closest to me demonstrates a combination of respect, love, and trust. Sherlock and Being Human Another character known for his lack of emotions is Sherlock Holmes from BBC’s Sherlock. He doesn’t feel emotions the same way other people do, and he probably wouldn’t be so good at solving mysteries bloodied with crime and mangled bodies if he did. Sherlock considers things like love and emotion to be weakness, and the show actually delves into those themes quite often, focusing on the relationship between Sherlock and Watson. You can’t explain to a sociopath why emotions are important. They won’t get it. These are the types of people who will just shut down if you try to force them to open up. Where Sherlock is con-

cerned, we’re talking about a man who shouts at old ladies and tells children that Heaven isn’t real. We’re talking about someone who has subjected his best friend to weird tests, ditched him plenty of times, ruined dates, and convinced him he’s dead. Sherlock appears to be mostly made of logic and cold reason, and logic says emotions get in the way. It’s a heartwarming moment, then, when his speech at Watson’s wedding (at first a monologue about reason, logic, and the doom of the world) turns into an observation about how Watson has accepted him for who he is and how important Watson is to him. Though the speech is self-indulgent and insulting to the audience at times, it turns into one of the few glimpses of Sherlock’s emotions that we ever get to see: “I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. Certainly not the best friend of the bravest, kindest, and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. John, I am a ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.” —Sherlock, Scene from “The Sign of Three” This. It’s this moment of insight into Sherlock’s psyche—where we see him actually connect the dots of how Watson makes him a better person— that makes him human.

I suspect that the pressure to hold emotions in is experienced at least tenfold by men. North American masculinity is clear about men being strong, stable, and unemotional. The pressure to joke or cover up feelings must be immense. Watson, as a doctor and a former soldier, is a prime example of this throughout most of Sherlock. He’s usually calm and collected, even when examining bodies and dealing with Sherlock’s eccentricities. When Moriarty straps a bomb to him, he barely blinks an eye. Seeing him crack after Sherlock’s “death” is, therefore, a shock of heartbreak. He gives a painful speech to Sherlock’s grave, telling him things he never got to say to his face. Seeing Watson stubbornly refuse to believe Sherlock is a traitor, even when Sherlock told him so himself, is witnessing a moment of true brotherly love, a love that can only be witnessed through the revealing of strong emotion and vulnerability. C. S. Lewis writes in The Four Loves: “Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” To love is to be vulnerable. You can’t be in a true relationship, you can’t really love, without opening yourself up to the option of getting hurt. Even God recognized that He was not exempt from this truth; He showed us exactly what being vulnerable meant by sending Jesus down to Earth to die the worst death possible. He led by example, letting down His defenses to be in a deep, meaningful relationship with us. Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Saving Face In order to tell someone I’m feeling emotions I don’t want to be feeling, it’s like reaching down my own throat and physically pulling out the words from my larynx. It’s painful and it’s hard. And it probably always will be. I don’t like letting my guard down. I don’t like risking being vulnerable to those who should care, only to watch them walk away. For me, it is a conscious choice to put myself in that position of vulnerability. Captain Ray Holt is one of my favourite characters from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He wears the same expression whether he’s attending a surprise party or witnessing the precinct on fire. His stoic personality makes his interactions with the rest of the precinct hilarious, but it also makes the moments when he shares his true feelings amazing. In the episode “Chopper,” Jake is the usual goofball and Holt is his normal, taciturn self, putting a damper on all the fun when he goes out on a mission with Jake and Charles. That is, until he gets fed up near the end of the episode, says he’s tired of politics and decides to have fun 12 • AOE MAGAZINE

with Jake. Jake: Roger that, Wet Blanket. Holt: No, from now on call me… “Velvet Thunder.” Jake: *look of childlike delight* Okaaay! That delight at Holt showing real feelings to him marks the deepening of their relationship, and it makes the next episode, “Johnny and Dora,” where Holt has to leave the precinct, even more bittersweet. Holt begins a speech to the precinct in his usual unemotional voice to say goodbye, but then we see him pause and have a hard time getting the words out: Holt: These have been the… these have been the best years of my career. And I know that… every one of you… gave me everything you had. And I will never forget it. Jake: Go back to being Robot Captain. Holt: Meep morp. Holt never changes who he is, he just lets himself be vulnerable, sacrificing his calm demeanor to show his friends that he loves them. His baring of emotions does not go unnoticed, and Gina even goes with him in his job transfer so that he won’t be alone. We Are Emotional Beings Men and women were not created to live in a vacuum. We were given emotions for a reason: so that we can understand each other, so that we can feel pain, so that we can feel joy, so that we can have relationships that rival Chuck and Sarah’s or Sherlock and Watson’s. It might seem like you are being strong by never letting your guard down, to never admit to a friend or even to God that you need someone to carry you for a while, to remain cold and distant, but in reality it is vulnerability that requires more guts. Sometimes I just want to hide away behind the walls of ice I have built around myself (why use bricks when I live in Canada?). But that only makes things worse. I don’t think my friends want me to hide from them; I don’t think God wants me to hide from Him, either. I’m pretty sure they’re happy to be there for me. So I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep putting myself out there, no doubt getting knocked down in the process, but I’ll be picked up again. w This article first appeared in Christ and Pop Culture.

Screenshot from Chuck

“

CHUCK BARTOWSKI: A HUMBLE HERO by Michael Penner

does, and we see him go above and beyond when he arranges an impromptu, in-store ballet perforjust know what an incredible mance for a little girl whose father guy Charles Bartowski is, and didn’t tape the real thing. Everyone sometimes I'm not so sure that loves Chuck, except for those who he knows it,” says Ellie Bartowsare intimidated by his authenticity. ki in the third episode of Chuck. Add the Intersect to the equation, And she doesn’t even know that and suddenly his skills are on Chuck is taking down dangerous killers, defusing bombs, and saving par with Sarah’s and Casey’s. He becomes a spy, and a innocent lives on a daily basis. Chuck’s WHILE MANY PEOPLE good one at that. But the reaopinion of himself leaves me asking the DEFINE “GREATNESS” son Chuck is great isn’t because of his question: What is so AS BEING WEALTHY talents or because of great about Chuck and why doesn’t he AND FAMOUS, I LIKE the Intersect. Chuck is a pro at the thing know it? we all need to learn. Any time some- CHUCK’S STYLE OF doesn’t one mentions “the GREATNESS BETTER. Greatness come from accogreats,” they’re usulades, bank accounts, ally talking about the or military success. Greatness rich, the powerful, and the famous. comes from service. Alexander the Great conquered At the end of Season Two, large swaths of Asia. Wayne GretzFulcrum has just ruined Ellie’s ky (The Great One) still holds most wedding; Casey is now in of the scoring records in the NHL. command of his old squad; The Great Gonzo has had a long Sarah has been offered a and storied career on The Muppet renewed partnership with Show, even though no one really Bryce; Chuck has gotten the knows what he is supposed to be. Intersect out of his head and Wealth, power, and fame is sitting on a hefty cheque are probably what Chuck hoped from the government. for after graduating from StanInstead of taking the money ford. He was supposed to have a for himself, he sacrifices that successful career in software and cheque to give his sister the retire early. Along the way, that dream shattered and so did his self wedding of her dreams. I always thought an esteem. That’s why he can’t see the inner desire to be great was greatness he has achieved working a negative thing, that greatalongside Sarah and Casey, and ness necessarily came at the even before that. expense of humility. But it is You see, Chuck is a hero. when we humble ourselves and Even before he knew what the serve others that we truly become Intersect could do, he was saving great. I want to be someone that people from electronic disasters; others appreciate and look up to. everyone at the Buy More knows While many people define “greatChuck is the best at what he

ness” as being wealthy and famous, I like Chuck’s style of greatness much better, and I can aspire to it in a positive way. Yet it can be hard to see greatness when it doesn’t come in our preconceived forms. It’s at the reception after Ellie’s wedding that we find out Chuck still doesn’t recognize how people see him. He says to Sarah, “You belong out there. Save the world. I’m just not that guy.” Sarah responds, “How many times do you have to be the hero to realize you are that guy?” Chuck is that guy, and in those times when I find the place where service and humility intersect, I can be that guy too. w

LIFE, DEATH, AND MARIO KART

by Kyle Rudge

hat’s not fair!” And with that, at the finish line I was passed by Mario, Daisy, Yoshi, and the entirety of the Mushroom Kingdom. In frustration, I tossed the controller aside. I had run the perfect race, drifted every corner, hit every question block, collected every coin and abused every item, but in that final stretch, the dreaded blue turtle shell came. With the finish line in sight, I spun out and was passed again, and again, and again. A red shell and a Bullet Bill power-up ensured that I went from first to dead last. Anyone who has played Mario Kart is familiar with that refrain. The truth is, the Nintendo racers cheat. No matter how far ahead you get, no matter how perfect your race, the A.I. will unfairly adjust the speeds of each of the other racers to ensure that every race comes right down to the wire. Life, like Mario Kart, isn’t fair. I write this as I sit at the bedside of my mother in palliative care, knowing that there are only hours left in her life. In the same hospital six months ago and five floors below, I witnessed the birth of my son. And today we try to make my mother as comfortable as possible with warm blankets and happy memories. We all knew it was coming as she had been fighting a losing battle to Stage IV cancer for a few years already. There was no longer anything curative medicine could do and all that remained was to keep her comfortable. “It’s not fair!” she cried out. For the last three weeks we watched the cancer progress at an alarming rate and today we know, for her, there will be no tomorrow. “It’s not fair!” This time the cry was mine. And there was no mistake about it. It wasn’t. For her entire adult life she has taken care of people who have 14 • AOE MAGAZINE

made very questionable health decisions. On paper, there is no reason wait so she should be survived long to have by any of them and yet kids? If there truly is a here we are. Despite a few loving God of miracles, why bumps in the first few laps of hasn’t this miracle come? her life, she ran a near perfect Most of these questions are race. directed at an ethereal void, but “It’s not fair!” cried her sister. one is directed at God. Yes, you, “She was the one who took care of God. Why is life not fair? me!” As I wait for an answer that Three years ago, almost to doesn’t come right away, I am the day, my father passed. A man reminded of the greatest evidence whose history was marked with of a broken world: the death of a years of alcoholism and awfulness. loved one. And with that, my mothWhile he lay dying he was held er takes her final breath. by a wife who stayed by his side Life isn’t fair. Life was never and loved him to the end. He took intended to be fair. Mario Kart was his last dying breath in her arms. never intended to be fair. For all “Where is that for her?” I ask and intents and purposes, life, like Mario know there is no answer. Kart, is broken. I’m coming to under“It’s not fair!” cried her mothstand that fairness is, no matter how er, wondering why she has to stay much we pray, never the point. alive and watch her children die So what is the before her. A BULLET BILL point? During the I stared at the last few months, we POWER-UP blank page for days prayed for a retcon. after writing that quesWe prayed for things ENSURED THAT I tion. I scribbled out to be different. We prayed for things to be WENT FROM FIRST thoughts and erased, in the attempt to figure fair. We prayed for our TO DEAD LAST. it out. It wasn’t until miracle. And at 6:19 I stood up at my mother’s funeral, am, we prayed for peace to finally with her ashes in front of me, that come. an answer finally came to me. I wonder if life is more like Life is only unfair if we beMario Kart than we’d like to admit. lieve that death is the end. No matter how far ahead you get, If all of our existence is what no matter how perfect your race, life we see, feel, and experience in the seems to unfairly adjust the speeds of each of the other racers to ensure short time we have here, then our lives really are awful and absolutely that every race comes right down unfair. Life does suck and it doesn’t to the wire, and there is always that always make sense. But even if this threat of a blue turtle shell that can is “all there is,” I just cannot go on take us down at any moment. living in this unfairness. There are some challenging Instead, no matter if I am thoughts that you have at the bedwrong, I choose to believe that side of a dying loved one. You ask death cannot be the end. Believing “Why?” a lot. There are so many others who should be here instead; it just feels like a better way to live. Believing it means that there is a why her? When my two kids are hope. Believing it means I will see older, they won’t remember how my mother again one day. w much she loved them; why did we

Screenshots from Erased

ERASING THE PAST

wouldn’t say I’m jaded, but I do have some regrets. I wish I had spent more time deepening my friendships when I was younger. I wish I had opened up more to people. It seems that every time I look back to my college years, I’m not disappointed about what I did, but rather about what I didn’t do. This especially affects me because I believe my actions have eternal consequences. ERASED features Satoru Fujinuma, an unsuccessful mangaka (manga writer) whose mother has just recently moved in with him. Satoru is a depressed young man, mostly due to repressing memories of an event where his classmates were killed many years ago. He feels he could have personally prevented the murders and the jailing of a man wrongly convicted for the crimes. Even worse, the events of the past catch up with Satoru, as the real murderer fatally stabs his mother. But this is anime, so fear not! Satoru has an ability to jump back in time. Usually, he is only able to move back a few seconds or minutes, but after his mother’s death, Satoru leaps all the way back his childhood. He’s given a second chance to act and maybe save everybody. Satoru, effectively an adult in a child’s body, attacks his task of saving children with a gusto that takes everyone by surprise. He knows the future, and will do anything to prevent these terrible crimes from happening. I am jealous. I want Satoru’s superpower. But since that doesn’t seem likely, what should I—someone who, you know, can’t travel back in time and correct wrongs—do in the here and now? Unlike Satoru, I’m stuck with the consequences of my actions, and my inactions, too. When I avoid reaching out to people who are struggling because I’m too scared, too thoughtless, or too lazy, I have to live with my decision. When I’ve hurt someone by not keeping a promise or by uttering something unkind, I have to deal with the repercussions.

by Charles Sadnick Regret becomes a huge problem for me. I could waste hours every day thinking back on what I should or shouldn’t have done. But as much as I wish I could change the way I’ve acted, I know I can’t live in constant regret. Doing so would keep me trapped in a past without hope for the future. I need to forgive myself and move forward. My faith encourages forgiveness, too. I have to remember that God forgives me, no matter how great my transgression, no matter how wracked with guilt I might feel. And maybe that’s the point. If I could travel back in time and repair wrongs, would I ever learn anything? Reflecting on my mistakes encourages me to do better next time, while forgiveness provides the healing that I need to try again. Though then I have to ask myself, why should I keep trying? The answer certainly doesn’t have to do with myself. Haibane Renmei, a series that tackles the topics of sin, forgiveness, and repentance in a purgatory-like world featuring angelic characters called haibane, meets this question head on in its climactic scene. Rakka, a haibane who has recently been born into this world, is trying to help her beloved friend, Reki, who is continued on page 17

AOE MAGAZINE • 15

WHERE’S THE LOVE IN MAD MAX?

by Michael Boyce

hen I read that writer/ director George Miller was going to return to his post-apocalyptic roots and make another Mad Max film, I didn’t think much about it. The original films were fun, cult stories but not so amazing that I would get excited for a sequel. Even Miller’s eclectic but solid body of work (everything from Lorenzo’s Oil to the talking pig classic, Babe: Pig in the City) didn’t prepare me for one of the deepest films of recent years. People have remarked on its strong ecological and feminist messages, its reimagining of the action genre, its inventive practical effects. I’ve been wanting to write about Mad Max: Fury Road for a while now, but despite its obvious richness, no topic has seemed quite right. When Our Fearless Leader (OFL) and Area of Effect editor proposed the topic “agape,” I quickly crossed Mad Max: Fury Road off my list again: “It’s an awesome movie, but where’s the love?” Then I started re-reading C.S. Lewis’s The Four Loves to figure out a possible direction for an article. Lewis uses the traditional English translation of agape, “charity,” and describes it as unconditional

TABLETOP GAMES STORYTELLERS WILL LOVE

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THEIRS IS A LOVE OF CHOICE, NOT ATTRACTION, AND IT’S MARKED BY SACRIFICE. gift-love, a selfless love that places the best interests of the other person first. And then I thought more about Mad Max: Fury Road. “Wait a minute,” I said to myself, “Isn’t that movie all about this kind of selfless charity?” Furiosa’s sacrificial love for Immortan Joe’s Five Wives embodies agape. It causes her to abandon her own position of power and influence in order to help them flee. She risks everything to get these young women to safety. Furiosa initially seems to believe that selfless love can only exist in a specific place, her own birthplace: the utopian, matriarchal Green Place. There, she thinks, the Many Mothers will care for the Brides with selfless charity. However, when we learn that the Green Place is gone, a dissolute wasteland, and that the Many Mothers have been displaced and now scavenge for existence, we come to realize that Furiosa has already embodied this type of love. She’s created a community on wheels with outcasts and runaways. Part of the reason I think Mad Max: Fury Road has this interest in agape is the length the film goes to undermine any suggestion of romantic love between the two main protagonists. Sure, there’s the romance

GLOOM

In Gloom, you want your characters to encounter the greatest tragedies possible before giving them funerals fit for kings, all while trying to cheer your opponents’ characters on with marriages, picnics, and other happy occasions. It’s a hoot.

“Furiosa” by Namecchan

between the displaced War Boy, Nux, and one of the fugitive Brides; that love—eros— represents a kind of freedom from the authority of Immortan Joe, freedom to choose a partner. But this type of love is not transformative. It’s secondary to the community-minded love embodied by Furiosa and, later, Max, which is as capable of transforming the wasteland as the water Joe denies his people. In “Mad” Max Rockatansky, Furiosa finds a compatriot and friend. They have no reason to trust the other; their individual experiences have been disappointment and abuse. Their relationship is not characterized by eros, but by mutual respect and a deep trust. Theirs is a love of choice, not attraction, and it’s marked by sacrifice and putting the best interests of the other above the needs of the self. We don’t usually see this type of love in action films, which typically link a hero’s worth to his (almost always his) sexual prowess. Max’s lack of interest in physical love is treated as a

joke—at one point we think that Max is staring longingly at one of Joe’s Brides; however, as the camera moves, we realizes he’s actually staring at the water she is using. After defeating Joe and upsetting the oppressive power structure of The Citadel, Max and Furiosa part. Uninterested in the attention of the crowd, Max slips away after giving Furiosa a parting nod. While the slaves of The Citadel rejoice in the life-giving water that has been withheld from them for so long, Max leaves. This ending might seem odd to an audience expecting the hero who “gets the girl,” but it’s so much more poignant. Agape isn’t something you get, it’s something you share. It’s not something you run to, it’s something you carry with you. The love that bound that small community together will go forth in Max’s departure; he will take it out to his next adventure and to the next group he meets. That love will be like the water that washes over the dry desert of the Citadel, bringing life and hope. w

so struck by guilt over past sins that she may not properly pass on to the next world as she should. Reki pushes Rakka away with hurtful words, and the latter retreats, leaving her friend alone. In that moment, Rakka has a choice. She can continue to feel hurt and stay away from her friend—a justifiable response—or she can demonstrate grace and be there for her friend anyway. Rakka chooses the latter, returning to aid her friend, saving Reki physically and helping her achieve spiritual salvation as well. Like Rakka’s decision, I believe our choices can have consequences beyond the here and now. What I do today can make all the difference for people in my life. Laziness, timidity, retribution, fear—these are the demons that pull at me, telling me that I shouldn’t reach out to those around me. But as with Satoru, experience tells me, and as with Rakka, love tells me that what I do (and what I don’t) can make an impact on others’ lives, both here and forevermore. w

“Erasing the Past” continued from page 15

AYE, DARK OVERLORD You’d better prepare to grovel or the darkest, most evil, most terrifying excellence of an overlord might give you a withering stare. You’ll do anything to save your own skin, including shifting the blame to your fellow minions.

DIXIT

A simple hit at parties, match up a story to one of the picture cards in your hand, and watch your friends attempt to steal your points using the pictures in their hands. The trick is telling a story that is neither too obscure, nor too obvious.

A MISUNDERSTOOD

REDHEAD Screenshot from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

by Dustin Asham

wizard who doesn’t yet know how powerful he is, a genius witch who does, and a poor, often befuddled redhead. One of these people is not like the others. I have been rereading (and rewatching) the Harry Potter series lately; As I travel through this narrative again, I feel much more attached to the Weasleys, especially Ron, than to any of the other characters. I was a bit surprised when I began feeling this way. In the past, I’ve liked Harry’s personality. I’ve admired his bravery, his dedication to develop himself in his craft, and—later in the narrative—his humble leadership. As well, I naturally connect with Hermione, particularly her drive for academic achievement and her ability to problem-solve. Ron doesn’t stand out, except for his flaming red hair. His family is poor and generally looked down on by the magical community. His academic achievements are all thanks to Hermione, and he’s consistently brought along kicking and screaming with Harry and Hermione on their adventures. When you stand him up beside Hermione, the muggle-born witch who is top of her class, and Harry, the Chosen One, Ron doesn’t seem very heroic. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that Ron is the very kind of person I want to be. Imagine for a moment that Ron and his family never existed, a world without Weasleys. Harry still gets collected by Hagrid from his dreadful vacation and brought to Diagon Alley. He still purchases his school supplies and makes it to the train station, but having been left behind by Hagrid, he simply never finds his way to platform 9¾. This places a significant stress on our hero’s story, but suppose that Hagrid, realizing his mistake, retrieves Harry from London and brings him personally to Hogwarts. By Christmastime, Harry has struggled through a long term at Hogwarts and experiences yet another Christmas without presents and without a sense of family. Tired of being seen only as a celebrity and not as a fellow student, Harry seeks separation from his peers and realizes that, perhaps, his life in the

magical world will be no better than his life with the Dursleys. The end of the year is fast approaching. Harry has found himself wrapped up in the plot to steal the Philosopher’s Stone, but without the help of others, he’s defeated by this strange giant chess game—or worse—he still confronts Quirrell/Voldemort and finds a sense of kinship with Voldemort. Without Ron, the story of the first book, not to mention the next six, changes drastically. Harry and Hermione, for all their intelligence, skills, and abilities, would never achieve alone what the trio could accomplish together. Growing up as one of the youngest siblings in a large RON PUTS family with little means taught HIMSELF Ron a valuable lesson. Life is not all about him. He readily ac- SECOND TO cepts (most of the time) being Harry’s sidekick because that’s OTHERS AND what Harry needs. He pulls DOES ALL THAT Hermione away from her books to remind her that there’s more IS WITHIN HIS to life than knowledge. Ron’s strength is in being POWER TO a servant. He’s more than HELP THEM. willing to put himself second to others and to do all that is within his power to help them. Ron’s character is unremarkable because he allows himself to be unremarkable. He uses his abilities in wizard chess to propel the people that need to move ahead. He knows that that is where he is needed most, and so he gives all he can. Ron isn’t unintelligent. In fact, he is often Harry and Hermoine’s guide through the wizarding world. He isn’t a wizard lacking in skill or ability, but he allows himself to be second to Harry and Hermoine for their benefit. Harry may be “the Chosen One” and Hermione might be the brains, but Ron is the remarkably unremarkable hero that I want to emulate. And, I mean, I do already have the hair. w

NPCS ARE PEOPLE TOO

by Sheela Cox

ne of my favourite parts of being a Dungeon Master is creating and playing the characters that the players interact with. An NPC (Non-Player Character) can be a person, creature, deity, or any other inhabitant of the world who is not represented by a player. It is part of the DM’s job to not only create a world for the player characters (PCs) to explore, but also to fill the world with living beings for them to interact with. The nature of the game puts the PCs at the center of the story. For all the players know, the world revolves around their characters and everything else is less important. Players can become conditioned to see NPCs as either quest-givers, loot fodder, XP farms, or final bosses. The world ends up being a vehicle to carry the heroes to fame, fortune, and victory.

F RT O

A THE

JOE HOGAN

Joe Hogan is a graduate from the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan who is currently a Star Wars artist through Topps. You can buy his prints on Etsy and check out his creations on DeviantArt.

etsy.com/shop/TheArtofJoeHogan joehoganart.deviantart.com youtube.com/c/joehoganart

depth to it, with lives and events Very often, players are carrying on whether or not the surrounded with NPCs that pop PCs were there. I hoped my playin and out of existence based on ers would learn to value life and whether a player chooses to interact with them. All the shopkeepers gain a sense of a larger world that they were a part of, rather than in a market are glossed over unthe masters of. less a player wants to buy someSometimes I think I treat thing. The beggar on the street is the people in my life like most ignored unless the players think players treat NPCs. How often do she has a quest for them, or is somehow significant to their story. I walk down the street and ignore everyone around me? I pass by a Hundreds of guards can be killed homeless man and pretend he is and looted without a thought, but not there. I see a child slip and fall if a PC’s life is endangered, no and pretend I don’t notice. A girl power in the multiverse is going sits alone at the bus to keep his friends stop, hunched over from trying to save I AM NO MORE and crying, and I tell him. Usually. If he brings snacks. SPECIAL THAN ANY myself she’ll be fine. I don’t know these This perspecOF THEM, I JUST people; they’re not tive can lead to a very black-and-white HAPPEN TO BE THE my problem. If any of them had been view of the in-game ONE PLAYING ME. my friends, fellow world. The people players, I would are immediately have jumped to their aid. But they divided into two categories upon weren’t, and I didn’t, because in meeting them. The first is “usemy mind they were NPCs. ful.” This NPC is identified as I don’t want to think of them friendly and of use to the players in meeting their goals. The second as more than that, because that would require some action on is “enemy.” This NPC is either my part. But maybe, if I thought useless or hostile toward the playof the people around me as I am ers. Here is where an interesting encouraging my players to think of dichotomy develops. If the NPC is NPCs, I would act another way. A useful or aligned with the player’s own goals, she is allowed to live. If little more awareness of the larger world around me could mean a the NPC is useless or set against the player’s goals, he is deemed an difference in someone’s life. A enemy and often attacked on sight. second to smile, say something kind, offer to help, or lend an ear As a DM, it quickly became to listen, is all it might take to let my goal to counteract this way someone know that they exist and of seeing the world that I had have worth in the world and I see created for my players. I began them as a fellow PC. giving enemies back stories and Every person I encounter is families, making some allies annoying or unlikable, tallying the the hero of their own story, with cost of lives in battle, and showing their own quests and hardships. the players both the good and bad I am no more special than any of them, I just happen to be the one consequences of their actions. I playing me. w tried to create a world that has AOE MAGAZINE • 19

“The tapestry” by chichapie

OF MICE AND WORDS by Casey Covel

t all started with a mouse. No, not that round-eared rodent in red shorts and yellow shoes. A much meeker mouse in a green novice’s habit and over-sized sandals. A mouse whose simple courage sent him on a quest to find an ancient sword (because what is fantasy without an ancient sword quest?) and who saved his abbey from an army of evil rats. His name was Matthias and he taught ten-year-old me that even the smallest person could change the course of the world if they were willing, kind, and brave. The Redwall series—a literary franchise where gallant woodland warriors overcame evil vermin invaders—not only kickstarted my love for fantasy (and furries), but also built a safe-haven for me to learn and grow in. Author Brian Jacques was like a grandfather to me and a household name to my family. I’ll never forget volunteering at my local library the day after his death, reverently sorting his books in the YA section and thinking that the world would never see another of his magnificent novels. Fifteen years after picking up my first Redwall novel and inhaling the musty smell of its pages, Jacques is still my favourite author. That’s more than my nostalgia talking. A part of me feels indebted to Jacques and his woodland warriors. Like Aesop of old, Jacques used familiar animals to express big ideals in a way even the smallest person could grasp. Mice were his favourite. They weren’t as tough as badgers, as skilled as hares, or as agile as squirrels, yet Jacques most often chose mice to inherit the famed sword of Martin the Warrior throughout his stories. 20 • AOE MAGAZINE

While I admired the other animals, I loved the mice most. Growing up, I wasn’t fast, wasn’t “special,” and certainly wasn’t brave. It was hard for me to connect with some fictional heroes because they seemed naturally born to slay dragons; I hardly had the guts to face a garden snake in my back yard. Redwall taught me that evil was, indeed, real, but also that mice could slay it. Redwall was never intended to be more than a story for students his first retrospection of good and at the Royal Wavertree School for evil in book number eight, his first the Blind to be able to “see.” Had story-within-a-story in book numhis former English teacher never ber twelve. He was so dedicated to taken the story to press without Jacques’ knowing, Jacques probably telling original, un-altered stories would have been content to write it that he refused to read the works of solely for those blind children. Sev- other authors, lest he be influenced eral books and a much wider read- by them. As I matured, I came to appreciate Jacques’ personal brand ership later, I still believe Jacques of heroism as much as I did that of wrote with his original audience the mice in his stories. When asked in mind. Jacques painted good for the best writing advice he could and evil in stark, black and white strokes; swapped point of views on give, Jacques said: “Paint. That’s the magic world. Paint pictures a dime; and childishly wrote out sound effects. I’d argue that he was with words. The picture will appear in the imagination so the person less interested in being “proper” reading it can say, ‘I can see that.’” than he was in telling a “rollicking For Jacques, this word “paint” good adventure,” but more-so I took on a literal think that he had meaning—to crea clear vision of REDWALL TAUGHT ME ate vivid images why he was writTHAT EVIL WAS, INDEED, that blind children ing and who he could experiwas writing for: young children to REAL, BUT ALSO THAT ME ence. But “paint” also speaks of whom he wantCOULD SLAY IT. vision, something ed to show the Jacques equally excelled at. When I magic of the world. read Redwall, I project myself onto Jacques paid no heed to Matthias. When he solves a riddle, I critics who thought his stories feel clever. When he fearlessly duels simplistic and idealistic, preferwith a vermin warlord, I feel brave. ring to “mature” his novels only to When he is chosen to inherit a warmatch his young reader’s growth. He introduced his first morally grey rior’s legacy, I realize I, too, am just as likely a candidate for greatness. character in book number seven,

I’m a firm believer in the power of words, that life and death can roll off the tongue and permanently impact a life. Jacques is right: “paint” may be the most powerful word of all, and not just for fictional writers. What images do I paint with my everyday words? How do I depict my friends, family, faith, and fandoms through the pictures I paint of them? Most importantly: how will those pictures impact others and their perceptions? Sooner or later, all writers—prompted by publication or otherwise—face the question: who is my audience? Jacques knew his. With this fixed vision, Jacques crafted passionate stories of universal appeal and timeless values. He wrote for blind children, and as a result also reached children-at-heart and cynics who had turned a blind-eye to better things. Who is my audience? I’m still figuring that out, and I don’t just mean for the six-or-so books I plan to write in my lifetime. The idealistic answer is, “Everyone, of course!” I think that’s a noble goal, but I also

think there’s a demographic that I’m specifically meant to reach; perhaps one that tends to be overlooked—one that the images I paint will specifically speak to. I believe for me it lies somewhere on the bridge between faith and fandom. Once I willingly dedicate myself to something, my life is no longer my own, nor are the pictures I paint. Every word becomes a reflection of who and what I represent. That’s a big responsibility, but if there’s one thing that Redwall has taught me it’s that even little mice can do great things. w

JOURNEYING TO EDEN

arbed in an elegant robe and trailing scarf, my delicate legs danced nimbly over the dunes. Sunlight pierced through the scarred peak of the distant mountain and blazed onto the desert sand so the expanse turned into a sea of golden embers. There, in the midst of a crumbling ruin, I saw it—another creature like myself. I froze in curiosity, watching this newcomer pirouette with a human-like intelligence that belied any possibility of an NPC. Excitement spurred me forward, and we finally came face-to-face, sunlight framing our identical silhouettes against the sky. Then, wordlessly, we continued our pilgrimage to the mountain, side-by-side. I dubbed my steadfast companion “Long Scarf.” I knew that this was not their first trek through Journey’s deserts. But that’s all I knew, and all I’d ever know. Journey doesn’t redefine online co-op play so much as it re-focuses it. Apart from the wordless chirping between cloth-covered avatars, no communication is permitted. The default avatar is genderless and species-less, as ambiguous as my companion’s true identity. There’s no customization in Journey—no way to pick my gender, height, voice, colour, or even who I partner with. However, special designs on the robes of second-and-third-time pilgrims are reserved for guides who have survived the quest and willingly return to assist new players. Long Scarf was my guide. We were instantly inseparable, chirping, flying, and dashing through the sands together like lifelong friends. Perhaps the two of us could not be more unalike in the real world, but within the virtual world of Journey we shared the

by Casey Covel

adversity of the great quest ahead of us. We were like Frodo and Sam, wrapped up in something much bigger than ourselves, and all the more dedicated to one another for it. Despite appearances, Journey is not exclusively a co-op game. One can trek to the mountain as easily as two. Functionally, co-op is pointless. Simplistic puzzles don’t require any complex combinations of lever-pulling or button-pushing between teammates. The only real gameplay advantage afforded is that players can boost each other’s scarf powers a bit by chirping or making contact—not game-changers by any means. Unsurprisingly, Journey’s focus on themes, emotions, and beauty makes it less concerned with traditional gameplay elements. In revolutionizing the manner in which players see one another, Journey refocuses co-op on its original intent—support. Specifically, the emotional support between pilgrims makes Journey feel less like a video game and more like an experience. AOE MAGAZINE • 21

But more than anything, I see the mountain— At first glance, Journey appears to be an escapist towering in the distance, its peak filled with the sun, game built on pure sentimentality, but it encapsulates inviting me to partake in the Eden the world once more feelings than joy, wonder, and peace; there’s a knew. significant portion of the trek that’s darkened by deAfter my frigid body is resurrected from the dead spair, fear, pain, loneliness, and even death. earth and sent skyward, I lose sight of Long Scarf. Long Scarf and I bonded as we sand-surfed, There before me is the glowing peak—the pathway to probed ancient ruins for power-ups, and bantered in Eden, the place I have journeyed so far to reach. And gibberish. But we bonded most during darker times. yet I turn away. I stand on Eden’s edge, chirping out in In the midst of a punishing blizzard, hardly able to hopes that perhaps Long Scarf will answer. make headway against the tormenting winds, we In a flash of light, Long Scarf arrives alongside huddled together as our scarves were ripped to shreds me. We circle and sing in relief, drawing hearts in and chirped weak words of assurance and encouragethe sand via the trails of our feet. And then we step ment to each other. Within a minute, we both froze to forward, slowly and sacredly, toward the engulfing death—I collapsing just seconds behind Long Scarf— light. The sounds of our footsteps reverently fade into as scripted by the game. silence. Scripted or not, I believe Long Scarf would have Long Scarf notices I am a few steps behind and willingly frozen alongside me. I’d already watched my stops, allowing me to catch up. For companion dive into the searchlight of a hungry monster, taking serious JOURNEY REFOCUSES once, we don’t chirp to each other. We stare, taking in the emotional damage in a vain effort to save me. CO-OP IN ITS ORIGINAL simply journey we’ve shared together, underDespite knowing each other for only standing we’ll probably never truly two hours, we were already prepared INTENT—SUPPORT. know the other’s real identity or meet to virtually die for one another. again. And then we step past the threshold into Eden. Why? The word tumbled around my mind. In my eighteen years of gaming, I’ve never I’m reminded of the three criteria necessary for experienced anything like Journey. There’s something the universal appeal of art laid out by Echoes of Eden: almost sacred about it. Taking the journey solo, I focus Reflections on Christianity, Literature, and the Arts. almost exclusively on the mountain’s beauty. I sigh The book suggests that there should be a portrayal of (1) Eden in its original glory, (2) Eden that is lost to us, with relief when I take the final step into the light. Journeying with a companion, I still see the and (3) the promise that Eden will be restored. The beauty of the mountain, but it’s no longer the mounjourney taken through life mimics this criteria as well. tain that gives me pause. It’s my companion, who I We repeatedly fall and seek restoration, intuitively cannot imagine taking another step without. In Jourknowing that we were once “whole” and are meant ney’s co-op mode, “Eden” evolves from a sanctuary to be whole again; and we share this journey with a into a society, where eternal souls commune with each world’s worth of strangers and acquaintances alike. other like old friends in the afterlife; though we never Journey encapsulates this evolution of Eden met in person, we shared a journey just the same. through its wordless storytelling, which is something “People will venture out to the height of the of a spiritual experience in itself, as well as empowmountain to seek for wonder,” Jenova Chen, creator ering the player to symbolically reflect on their own journey through life. As I play, I see the spirits of sages of Journey, once said. “But they will pass one another in the street and feel nothing. Yet every individual is a guiding me, showing me the wonders of a world bemiracle. How strange that nobody sees the wonder in fore its fall. one another.” Then I see darkness, as I saw the wonder of another person in Journey— fear and envy lead to musomeone whom I’ll probably never meet in real life, tating cloth-creatures into never knowing if they were male or female, old monsters of war. I come or young, casual or hardcore. And they showed to recognize the many me the beauty of Eden. w markers in the desert as the graves of casualties,

and see the numerous ruins as the skeletons of factories once powered by greed.

OUR MINIONS Kyle Rudge

Allison Barron

Jason Dueck

Destroyer of Worlds

Elven Scribe

Kyla Neufeld

Michael Boyce

Kyle is the founder of Geekdom House, a web developer, a programmer, and a co-host of Infinity +1. He has a strong tendency to be distracted by his children and marathon watching TV shows.

Allison is the executive editor of Area of Effect magazine. Often preoccupied in Hyrule, Middle-earth, or a galaxy far, far away, she is also a writer, graphic designer, and co-host of Infinity +1.

Jason’s love for science fiction extends to the final frontier. He is the producer of Geekdom House’s podcast, Infinity +1, and is always up for arguing in favour of Team Iron man.

Kyla has been studying Tolkien’s works since a young age. She is a poet, writer, and editor living in Winnipeg, Manitoba, has a BA in Creative Writing, and edits Geez magazine.

Michael teaches English Literature and Film Studies in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He’s published on Hitchcock, Alec Guinness, and James Bond. And he likes coffee. A lot.

Michael Penner

Sheela Cox

Dustin Asham

Charles Sadnick

Mike is an equal opportunity geek, with interests ranging from math and board games to sports and music. He finds joy in helping people grow and succeed through shared experience.

Sheela talks to horses, loves to dance, and adores making fancy outfits. She lives with a handsome young man in her cozy home filled with books and the smell of fresh-baked cookies.

Dustin is like HAL 9000: ruthless, emotionless, and the only song he knows is “Daisy, Daisy.” He enjoys young adults ministry, spending time with his wife Cassie, and beating his friends at games.

When he’s not spending time in education, ministry, or parenting, Charles can be found feeding his nerd urges by streaming anime, reading A Song of Ice and Fire, or watching Star Wars.

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Admiral

Casey Covel

Keyblade Master

An INTJ and connoisseur of chocolate, tea, and sushi, Casey spends her free time in Florida cosplaying, writing, gaming, philosophizing, squinting at strange words, and watching Corgi videos.

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Commander

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Artificial Intelligence

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Paranoid Android

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AOE MAGAZINE • 23

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