Penis Enlargement Bible
Penis Enlargement Bible
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The eBook is supplied for information purposes only, even though the contributors of this material are well conversed in the subject matter printed. The material content in this ebook does not constitute professional advice. This eBook is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regards to the subject matter contained. It is sold on the understanding that the publisher and its contributors are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If professional advice or other professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. The readers are advised to consult with any appropriately qualified professional before taking any decisions. If you have or suspect an illness or have a health concern, always consult with your physician or health care provider. We have used our best judgment in compiling this information, however, the information presented may not have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Any reference to a specific product is for your information only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Table of Contents Introduction .......................................................................................................................... 4 Know Your Penis ................................................................................................................... 6 Measuring Your Penis ............................................................................................................ 8 Penis Exercises: The Basics................................................................................................... 10 Penis Exercises: Stepping It Up A Gear (Advanced Exercises) ................................................ 16 Penis Exercises: The Schedule .............................................................................................. 20 Conclusion........................................................................................................................... 24
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Penis Enlargement Bible
First of all, congratulations on your choice to download this ebook. This ebook may be free, but I can assure you it‟s priceless. Soon you will know exactly how to enlarge your penis! So consider yourself lucky, my friend, because normally you have to pay $49 just to read guides that are less good than this one. This is a real treat indeed. Now let‟s talk about penis. Your penis, to be exact. I„d bet that your woman has not said in your presence that a bigger penis feels much better during sex than a small penis. It‟s no surprise because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Copyright © PenisEnlargementBible.com. All rights reserved.
Penis Enlargement Bible You see, one of the top complaints from women about their sex life is their partner's small penis size. So what can you do now to make sure your penis causes compliments, not complaints? Don‟t worry, I‟m here to help. If you want to know how to enlarge your penis, then doing exercises is one of most popular ways to increase the size of a man's penis. Nonetheless, there is some effort required - and a catch! By doing some penis enlargement exercises, you can train your penis to let more blood into it which will give you a harder erection and assist in penis growth if you follow the other necessary steps to cause big growth. (This is what the exercise "gurus" didn't want you to know!) But of course, exercises alone DON'T work. In the same way that your body does, your penis needs nutrients and biochemicals to repair itself and - more importantly for us - to grow. What's more, you can trick your body into restarting puberty style penis enlargement (i.e. natural growth) with biochemicals that were present in your body during puberty, but which left when it ended! When they left your body, penis growth ground to a sudden halt. A cool video all about biochemicals and their function in penis enlargement can be found at www.PenisEnlargementBible.com. However, right now you can read this amazing free penis exercise ebook and start straight away to improve your sex life. What I can say is that this guide has been changing the way a bucket-load of men think about treating their "size" problem. Within a few minutes, you will learn how to become a much better lover with a bigger penis. Now enjoy this free report and please pass it on to your family and friends. Tell them about PenisEnlargementBible.com. They need your help too. :) Let's get started!
John Collins, PenisEnlargementBible.com
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Know Your Penis
I'm not going to waste this space (and your valuable time) by telling you all about your penis. You know what a penis is already, right?! :) But there is some important stuff that you need to know if you want to make your penis bigger... As you know, the penis is not a muscle. It's also not a bone. Instead, it's made up of delicate spongy tissue which grew because biochemicals in your body made it bigger as you went through puberty. The most important thing you've gotta remember is that the penis isn't a muscle that can be exercised in the conventional way. BUT... You can use exercises to accelerate penis growth. And this free guide is all about those exercises which are most effective at accelerating the growth of your penis.
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Penis Enlargement Bible Unlike muscle, your penis consists of three cylinders or tubes of tissue. These are arranged with two cylinders on top (as you look down on the penis) and one on the bottom. They are each roughly the size and shape of a pencil. Running through the bottom cylinder is the urethra, the tube through which urine and sperm pass. These cylinders of tissue are firmly held together by a wrap of tissue called Buck„s fascia. If you want to make your penis bigger then you have to enlarge these 3 cylinders and the Buck's fascia. Here's a diagram of the male sexual organs:
Our objective is to make the shaft of your penis bigger in length and girth from the base all the way to the tip. When we do that you get a bigger penis. Penis exercises, unlike muscle exercises, are focused on trapping blood in the penis for longer than is natural. When I implemented my method of penis growth, this accelerated results and took me from a lowly 5” to a big 8”. This guide is focused on getting you gains that are between 2 and 4 inches personally. Before we look at the exercises themselves let's talk about measuring your penis...
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Measuring Your Penis
The truth is, the majority of men have no idea how to measure penis length accurately. To accurately measure your penis is vital if you want to record the increases in size. Here are the steps to measure your penis size accurately so you can give yourself an honest measurement about how you jack up to the male average of six inchesâ€Ś FIRST.... find a measuring device. A cloth measuring tape works best. IF you can't find one - then a piece of string will do. After measuring yourself with a piece of string you can place that string along a wooden ruler or some other measuring device! (I hope that makes sense)
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Penis Enlargement Bible IF your penis 'curves' or 'bends' [and many penises do!!] be sure to measure along the curve or bend. Don't measure STRAIGHT from your pubic bone to the tip of your penis in other words! Now the fun part... GET ERECT! Take your measuring device and measure your penis from your pubic bone (the 'pubic bone' is the bone you feel when you press in the area that is covered by your pubic hairs). Don't press TOO hard - but hard enough to be firmly against that bone. Now hold your penis - if you have to! - and place the measuring device (whatever it is that your using) along the top of your penis. (Thatâ€žs the part of your penis that YOU see!) You are measuring from the pubic bone along the TOP of the penis to the tip of your penis. THAT measurement [whether in inches, centimeters or millimeters] is your OFFICIAL length. The reason I suggest measuring FROM the pubic bone is because it puts every guy on a level playing field. It's a way of being more accurate. Some heavier guys have extra fat behind their pubic hairs - making the penis APPEAR smaller. But we're going for the scientific method to measure your actual size. If you are using a piece of string or whatever, find the distance from your pubic bone to the tip of your penis and then measure the piece of string. To measure the thickness or 'girth' or your penis - stay erect and find the thickest part of your penis (along the shaft). Take your measuring device and wrap it around your penis to get your actual girth measurement. Take note of how many inches, centimeters or millimeters it takes to go all the way around. That measurement will be the official girth of your penis. That's it. That's all there is to it. Now, onto the basics of exercises... J
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Penis Exercises: The Basics
Penis exercises are a way of trapping blood in the penis. While some people sell systems on penis exercises this guide is free. And it's free because I'm not going to lie to you about penis exercises. I'm not here to make a quick buck. I was once where you are – trying to get a bigger penis – and I was scammed countless times. Here is what “gurus” who rip you off with exercise programs will tell you: o “Penis exercises are a great way to make your penis bigger. They're all you need to grow by 2-6 inches!!!”
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Penis Enlargement Bible o “Buy my stuff!!!” o “Exercises work because the enlarge the blood vessels in the penis and then your penis can accommodate more blood. That means you get a bigger penis!!!” I gotta tell you right now though. That's total BS! What you need is the two-step biochemical method to penis enlargement. One of these steps is exercises. So here's what you need to know about exercises. This is basic exercises, advanced exercises and finally a schedule for when to do what. Here's what you need to know... Some men, all too eager to see gains, have gone straight in at the deep end and done harm to their penis by not following the routine structure. Please be careful!
Warming up Just like any sports, warming up is very important to make sure that you protect your penis from any undue damage. If you fail to warm up properly then you're really putting a penis risk. I'll say it again, warming up is vital! First of all, you need to prepare your penis. Soak a washcloth in warm or hot water, then squeeze it out. Take the warm cloth and wrap it around the shaft of your penis (either flaccid or erect). Hold it right there for a minute, remove it, repeat at least twice. Next is to dry off your penis well. Many people have come up with different ways of warming up but I find the simplest to be dunking a towel in hot, but not boiling, water and wrapping it around your penis. The hotter the better – but please be careful not to burn yourself. Before you begin your daily exercises, you have to start off with this procedure for at least 5 minutes. The hot compress is useful because it draws blood to the area of your penis, thereby escalating the blood flow and making the skin more elastic. Another advantage is that this also ensures a good grip for the exercises you will be carrying out.
Lubrication Lubrication is necessary for all of the techniques we recommend here. Using the right lubricant will help you avoid irritation to the sensitive skin of your love gear.
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Penis Enlargement Bible There are many types of lubricants are used around the world. Of course, the most popular types are water-based personal lubricants. The water-based lubricants are so simple and easy to clean up, but tend to dry out quicker while you are exercising your penis. Therefore you may need to add more lube as you progress through your workout. While the petroleum-based lubricants are fine to use but they seem to be thicker and harder to clean up. Vaseline is the most popular of the petroleum-based lubricants, but we believe that VigRX oil works the best. This oil has been specially formulated to boost male enhancement. Now you are going to learn is standard stretching and standard Jelqing.
Stretching Standard stretching involves stretching penis so that the ligaments get longer under penis therefore gains length. The purpose of this method is to create tension in the erectile tissues by stretching the skin of the penis while in an erect state. Not only does this make the skin of your penis slightly elastic, it also expands the amount of the space in your penis chambers, the corpora cavernosa. The higher the amount of blood that can fill these spaces results in an enlarging of the overall mass of your penis. Stretching is so simple that you need to do is stretch the penis to make it longer. This involves gripping the penis just below the head and stretching it out with force to the ligaments gain size. There are six stretches. ď‚ˇ
Stretch one: While sitting on the edge of a sofa or bed, begin stroking your penis using your thumb and forefinger (the same "a-ok" symbol used in our other methods).
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Penis Enlargement Bible Pulling the penis directly in front of you. You put the penis out directly in front of you from 30 to 40 seconds. As you stroke the penis from the base toward the head, maintain a firm grip and stretch the skin as best as you can.
Stretch two: you put the penis directly down for 30 to 40 seconds.
Stretch three: people the penis directly up for 30 to 40 seconds.
Stretch four: you pull the penis directly to the left for 30 to 40 seconds.
Stretch five: you pull the penis directly to the right for 30 to 40 seconds.
Stretch six: you rotate the penis all the way in a circular movement for 30 to 40 seconds.
Repeat each direction 2-3 times. With these six stretches all you have to do is four sets of each everyday. Only do this after you have warmed up correctly. After you've finished the exercise you can release the grip on the base of your penis. You should feel the blood begin flowing again. Go ahead, you may ejaculate at this point if you feel the urge. Remember to use a firm grip and enough lubrication, always exercise caution! Do not grip your penis too tight so that you lose the circulation. If you are in pain or feel any discomfort, then you are doing the technique in the wrong way. Read the instructions again and retry the technique slowly.
Jelqing Stretching exercises are useful for lengthening your penis. But in order for one man to increase the circumference, you have to perform stretching exercise while your penis is in a partially-erect state. Jelqing is the technique that develops the whole penis so that its length, thickness, weight, and density all become proportionately enlarged. Jelqing (also called "milking") is actually one of those ancient practices that has been performed for centuries by various tribes and cultures around the world. It's considered the most successful method of enlarging the penis. These “milking” exercises could force the blood into your penis. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis will gain volume. In other words; they can hold more blood. As a result, your penis gets larger.
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Penis Enlargement Bible Jelqing is slightly different from stretching. Standards Jelqing involves forcing blood through the shaft of the penis by using your hand to trap it so that the blood vessels expand. The standards jelq, the one that you'll be using for the first number of weeks, requires that you make a shape with your thumb and forefinger. To make this easier to explain simply make an okay symbol with your hand. The 'O' that you create through doing this will form the basis of your jelq. The Standards jelq involves gripping the penis at the very base, squeezing tightly, and milking penis as you would a cow so that blood is forced to the tip. Standard jelqs should each last 3 seconds from the base to the tip. 1. Apply your lubricant all over the skin of your penis. Keep your lubricant close by since you will want it to last for as long as you need it. Don‟t use the soap because it tends to dry the skin. 2. With your thumb and forefinger, squeeze the base of the penis shaft. Pull downward. Stop at the head. Repeat, alternating hands. Each stroke should last about three seconds. The stimulation will certainly help you reach an erection. 3. When your penis becomes semi-erect (not fully-erect), make the "A-OK" sign with the thumb and forefinger of your left hand. With this hand, grip tightly around the base of your penis. 4. Now starting from the base, pull the penis gently yet firm. Stretch downward and outward. You have to maintain your semi-erect penis at this point. Make certain to start from the base the head with each stroke. Note that the head of your penis will get bigger with blood. 5. Switch to your right hand and repeat the stroke, starting from the base and stretching downward to the head. Alternate both hands in a smooth rhythmic ("milking") movement, touching upon every part of the penis except the very top part of the penis head. This is the very foundation of jelqing.
Don‟t forget that jelqing exercises are not performed during fully-hard erection. Make sure that your penis is between half to 3/4 erect. Results cannot be obtained until a partial erection is present. After this exercise has been done for quite some time, you will notice that your penis appears both longer and thicker. This is a fact. And we can assure you that from within one to several months of routine exercise, your penis will emerge quite huge; this is due to the impaction of blood in the penile tissues.
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Penis Enlargement Bible Carefully choose ONE of these jelqing exercise techniques that you feel comfortable with to include in your daily routine.
PC Muscle Workout What nearly everyone doesnâ€&#x;t know is that the pubococcygeus muscle (pyoo-bococksee-gee-us) or PC muscle plays a critical role in the functioning of the penis. The pubococcygeus muscle is actually a group of muscles that run from the pubic bone to the tailbone. The PC muscle is the muscle you bring into play to stop the flow of urine from the bladder. It is also the muscle that contracts whenever you ejaculate, moving the semen up through the penis and out of the body. The PC muscle is a busy little muscle, you know? But as far as most men are concerned, it is still grossly unknown. Mastering the techniques of male multiple orgasms is easy once you know how to train your pubococcygeus muscle. When you urinate and you want to get the last drop out, you use your PC muscle in the opposite direction. By doing this you'll feel your anus open and the feeling will be somewhat different. Most men can do Kegels anywhere, since they're seldom aroused by the exercises. Continued over a lifetime, the exercises can help men and women avoid urinary incontinence as they age. That, plus greater arousal, enhanced orgasms and longerlasting sex, make Kegels one of the simplest, most beneficial exercises a man or woman can do throughout their lifetime. Be careful though. Using your PC muscle can have negative effects. If you produce too much testosterone then you will find that you ejaculate prematurely. However if you follow our guidelines you will actually enhance your ejaculation control. The basics of the PC muscle work out involve you clenching your muscle as hard as you can for a certain amount of time. To find the muscle in question all you have to do is stop the flow of urine when you are in the toilet. In the e-mails that we send you we will give you an exact routine every week.
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Penis Exercises: Stepping It Up A Gear (Advanced Exercises) These next exercises are more advanced. You will use these as your penis becomes more used to being exercised in this way. They introduce more strain to the penis. If you were to use more advanced exercises immediately then you would do far more damage than good. The stretches and jelqs are slightly more complex. You will not be using these exercises for a number of weeks. You will be e-mailed exactly what you should be doing that week, and these exercises will make up a part of your later routines. Advanced Stretching Advanced stretching it's just different ways of forming stretching exercises. They stretch different parts of the penis.
The Wrist Stretch The wrist stretch is a way of applying pressure to the middle section of your penis midstretch. It stretches the ligaments more authority, but could also do more damage to your penis if your penis hasn't been trained by doing the simpler exercises first. The Wrist Stretch involves gripping your penis just below the head, as with the standard stretch, and stretching penis directly in front of you, to the left, to the right, up and down. To add more pressure to this stretch, you take the wrist of your free hand and apply pressure to middle of your shaft as you stretch before force. So, if you were stretching to the left, you would apply the wrist pressure on the left hand side of your shaft. If you were stretching up, you would apply wrist pressure to the other side of your shaft. If you stretching down, it would apply pressure to the bottom etc. Please don't attempt the Wrist Stretch unless directed by one of our e-mails.
The Big Seated Stretch This is a very long stretch for those of you who have time and privacy. Each stretch takes 10 minutes to complete. By that I mean literally 10 minutes of nonstop stretching.
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Penis Enlargement Bible To perform the stretch, grip your penis while seated by raising one leg up and putting your hand underneath it then gripping just below the head. Then, pull with full force and hold for 10 minutes. For the next set, lift up your other leg and using your other hand repeat the process.
The Big Squeeze The Big Squeeze is placed in this section because it is more a stretch than a Jelq. This routine simply involves squeezing your penis by putting it on the table, and using the flattened palm of your hand, push down on the penis. For this you push firmly by placing one hand on top of the other and using all your weight to squash the penis. You separate the penis into the upper and lower parts, and push down on each for 45 seconds
Advance Jelqing Advanced Jelqing is for those of you who want to see big girth and length gains. We've already seen standard Jelqing, but these advanced techniques will do much more to improve your size. You will notice there are quite a lot of Jelqing exercises that you can do. After you have completed our program, you will be a pro, and then you can develop your own jelqs. However, by the end of our program you will probably have reached the size that you desire anyway -- so you can forget all about Jelqing! Most Jelqing improves your length and girth. Stretching is reserved for length gains, but then length can also be obtained from Jelqing correctly. However, the main reason for using Jelqing is to improve your girth.
The Double-Handed Jelq Erection strength: 95% This is a variation of the standard jelq, the difference lies in using both of your hands instead of one. What you must to his start a standard jelq using your right hand, moving it up your shaft by about an inch, then with your other hand grip at the very base i.e. where your first hand started. Your left-hand is being used to trap the blood.
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Penis Enlargement Bible Now, with your right hand, jelq all the way up to just below the head of your penis. At this stage lots of blood will be trapped. Now, to gain length, finish your jelq with the first hand (your right hand) and slowly move your left hand up to just below the head. Then, take your right hand and gripped the very base again and continue this cycle. Important things to remember: your penis must be, and remain 95% erect. Only ever do this exercise after you have warmed up properly. This exercise is mainly for length gains, but by making a small variation you can turn it into a girth jelq. That is what we shall be looking at now...
The Double-Handed Girth Jelq Erection strength: 95% This Jelqing exercise is designed solely for improving girth. Start as you did the previous exercise -- so that your hands are either end (one at base, one just below the head). The only difference with this exercise compared to the last one is that this is your starting point. Now all you have to do, when there is lots of blood trapped in your penis, is to slowly push to hands together while maintaining a tight grip. What you will notice is that your shaft is being expanded as the blood is forced outwards. This is held for 30-60 seconds. Important things to remember: again, your penis must be, and remain, 95% erect. Only ever do this exercise after you have warmed up properly.
The Double-Handed Girth Bend Erection strength: 95% This exercise is similar to the last. With one hand at either end of your shaft, literally bend the penis forwards slowly, ruling it so that the bend moves from top to the bottom. Do this for 30-45 seconds. Repeat the exercise but in reverse i.e. bend it the other way.
The Ultimate Girth Jelq Erection strength: 95% Copyright ÂŠ PenisEnlargementBible.com. All rights reserved.
Penis Enlargement Bible Similar to the Double-Handed Girth Jelq, the object of this is to force your hands closer until they almost touch. The time spent on the movement from each end of your shaft to the center point should be 30-45 seconds. You can concentrate on different parts of your penis shaft while doing this. If you want to see more gains at the base than simply don't move your base and. If you want to see more gains closer to the tip, then don't move your upper hand. You can mix up the exercise depending on whether your girth gains are level or different at different points of your penis. Important things to remember: 95% erection. Ensure that you warm up.
Warming Down Each step of exercises should be ended with a gentle massage and a warming down session with the help of a hot towel. When you give a massage to your penis and apply some heat to it, it helps healing and rebuilding of the cell tissue. You see, heat promotes faster growth of tissue cells and it restores the sensibility problems you may have had during your enlargement exercises. So after each exercise, you have to massage your penis softly for about 1 minute. You should perform a soft and circular motion with your forefinger and middle finger along the base and the shaft of the penis. Be very gentle with your moves here since your penis has just been through some serious hard workout. Following the massage session, you should apply another hot towel around your penis, just like you did for the warm up. This part of the practice is as essential as the first one because the heat will stimulate the damaged parts and will make them function well again.
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Penis Exercises: The Schedule
This is the schedule that you can start today. Alone, it won't have any affect. Until you have assimilated all of the required nutrients and biochemicals into your body, you will just get improved erections and maybe a very small amount of growth. Usually it takes 10 weeks to see real gains, but you will notice a harder penis after a few weeks. Biochemical growth will cause rapid growth – it's what worked for me when I finally after years of trying – stumbled upon the secret to getting a bigger penis. But exercises increased the speed at which I gained by about 22% when those biochemicals were present. Here is the exact exercise schedule that I used...
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Penis Enlargement Bible
Time spent on exercises per day: 15-20 minutes. Gently massage your penis and surrounding area with a warm cloth. You want to loosen up your penis and the muscles around it. Do this for 2-3 minutes. Standard stretching is the only way to begin! For this hold each stretch (outwards, up, down, left, right and around) for 30 seconds. Your penis must be flaccid to do this or you will hurt yourself. Go through this cycle twice. Exercise you PC muscle in the process by flexing it in the manner similar to controlling your bladder flow. This technique helps you preclude premature ejaculation. After 20 minutes, give your penis a rest. Wrap a warm towel around your penis and then repeat the routine after a few minutes of sufficient rest. Now continue on to the standard jelq. Do this for 10 minutes, and then warm down. Perform these exercises 5 days a week. Give yourself the weekend (or any two days) off. You will notice that your erections become harder and you may see a little growth. In week 3 spend 10 minutes doing the Double-Handed Jelq as well. Exercises to use: Standard Stretching Standard Jelqing
Time spent on exercises per day: 15-20 minutes. Exercises to use: Standard Stretching Take a seat with you back vertically straight and mare sure to lubricate you penis. With one hand, grab the base of your penis squeezing the
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Penis Enlargement Bible penis shaft as you move towards the penile head. Once there, use your other hand and start anew. Do the squeezing routine for 3-5 seconds as you moved from the penis base to the head. Repeat this action over a 5 minute period without attaining a full erection or ejaculation. Standard Jelqing Gently encircle your penis and moving your hand up to the head, concentrate of pushing the blood up the penis. On reaching the head of your penis, take your other hand to the base and perform the same motion with your other hand. The Wrist Stretch Grip your penis firmly just below the head and stretch it gently to the left, to the right, up and down. Repeat this technique for about 5 minutes. The Big Squeeze Place your penis on the table, squeeze and put pressure on your penis with your palm firmly. But donâ€&#x;t be so hard on your penis. Keep repeating this for about 2 minutes.
At the end of this cycle you will have your body at its optimum. This is the last transitional stage. Because of that you shouldn't do everything yet. However, you can split your exercises into morning and night. You should do more advanced, intensive jelqs and stretches as your penis starts to get ready for growth. Spend between 20-30 minutes a day exercising. Now you can do everything but the Ultimate Girth Jelq and the Double-Handed Girth Bend. If at this stage you have already begun to see growth then by all means do the others. You'll now know the feeling of a good workout so you will know which exercises you respond to best. Also, mix up what you do. Keep your routines fresh for the best results.
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Penis Enlargement Bible Week 8
Well done, my friend! You have been through a great experience towards enlarging your penis. Don‟t get too excited though because your first week is nothing. But now you can create your own routine. You‟ll have noticed what you respond to best. Tailor-make your exercises and growth will happen. Spend at least 15 minutes a day on intense workouts.
Note: Before any exercise you have to warm up and afterwards you have to warm down.
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Penis Enlargement Bible
That's the basis of penis exercises! This is a complete part of the system that I discovered (almost by accident!) which caused my penis to get bigger by 3 inches in length and 2 in girth. Why am I sharing this? I'm sharing this information because some really sneaky “gurus” are selling this information and making a profit out of it. That would be cool, and I'd be fine with it if it worked. But, here's the thing, it doesn't on its own! I personally wasted hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on penis enlargement stuff. And ALL of it failed until I stumbled upon the solution that worked wonders for me. So, this free guide is here to stop you getting ripped off. I am not a wealthy guy and at some points when I shelled out a fortune on these products I was really frickin' poor. So if I help one guy save a bit of money and get better educated then I think this guide is a good thing. So how do natural size gains happen? I've said exercises accelerate growth, and here's how my complete system worked for me. Please remember that I'm not an expert! I'm just a regular dude who found
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Penis Enlargement Bible something that's worked incredibly well for me and the few people I shared this info with. The way that my biochemical method works is by making your penis naturally grow. All you need to do is to restart the production of certain biochemicals in the body. These biochemicals were responsible for growth when you were going through puberty, and can be made to be produced in the body now, just like they were then. If you can do this then you will begin penis growth. Most people don't know about this vital technique because the enlargement industry makes much more money selling very expensive methods which don't deliver results. However, getting your body ready to make your penis bigger is the only way (other than surgery) that you can cause real gains in your penis size. That is the reason why other products (as you probably have discovered) fail, because they ignore this highly important aspect of growth. The way to make your penis bigger is by getting those biochemicals (which caused penis growth during puberty) back in the body. Then: BOOM! You will start to see gains. If you guys are interested in this then let me know. If you're not part of my members email list then sign up now - and you can email me directly from there! It's at www.PenisEnlargementBible.com. If you guys want these secrets badly enough then I'll tell you them! I would rather that than you getting scammed by the big businesses like I did. All the best. Your friend,
John Collins http://www.PenisEnlargementBible.com
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Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos ï»¿Truth approximately penile growth lyrics. -- Friday October 31, 1997 (Also Replayed on Master Tape Theatre May 23, 2008 and Sunday, November 1, 2009) -- The Craziness Begins. 10/31/ninety seven. 6:15am Today turned into going to be a large Halloween display with The Amazing Kreskin so Stuttering John became up in Harlem getting some people to come right down to the studio. Kreskin wished a group of strangers to use in a sÃ©ance that he'd be doing later inside the show. Howard figured that picking some human beings proper out in the front of a methadone sanatorium would be best. John got a few drug addicts and other wacky human beings to come with him for $20 and some meals. Not too length. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos after speaking to John on the cellphone approximately that, Gary came in and stated that Kreskin had arrived. Gary additionally complained about the manner Kreskin slapped him on the returned. He said that Kreskin hit him so difficult that it left a hand print on his again! It became nevertheless stinging 20 minutes later! Jackie had the same hassle with the man. Kreskin stated that he doesn't imply to do it. It just happens. The Mike Walker Game With Guest Mark Wahlberg. 10/31/ninety seven. 7:30am Actor Mark Wahlberg, aka Marky Mark, got here in to plug his film ''Boogie Nights'' which hits the theaters today. Howard spent a while talking to Mark about his making a song career and approximately how he now not talks like a ''wigger''. Mark said that he had to take voice training to get that speech pattern out of the way. He's a professional actor now so he has to talk better english now. Crackhead Bob become additionally there getting made up as ''Crackenstein'' for halloween. Howard had him are available in to play the Mike Walker sport. Ralph made him as much as appear like Frankenstein. Howard said the make-up turned into great. Just before playing the sport Mark confirmed Robin his third nipple. Yes it is actual, he has a third nipple. So besides, on to the Mike Walker sport. Here are the 4 memories, one in all them is a faux. The object is to choose the faux tale: A fan of Wil Smith crashed her vehicle attempting get to him. After the crash she ran over to get his autograph with out preventing to peer what befell to the automobile she hit. Brett Butler is in trouble once more along with her cursing parrot. The parents of her infant co-star are disillusioned with the word that pop out of the parrots mouth. When Jerry Seinfeld ran into Tim Allen at a restaurant he went over to congratulate him for his new $1.6 Million in keeping with episode contract. Jerry despatched his bill over to Tim with a written message announcing ''To the no 1 paid actor from the wide variety 2, thanks for dinner''. Kelsey Grammar is attempting to get his wife Camille a everlasting job on his tv display ''Frasier''. Camille says that if Jenny McCarthy will have a display why cannot she. First to bet become Crackenstein. He picked range 2 as the fake, Mark Wahlberg picked #1, Robin picked 3, Howard picked four and Jackie picked 2. Fred sat out for this one. The real fake story became range 2. Amazingly Crackenstein was the simplest one to get it proper. After the sport Howard spent some greater minutes with Mark. The Craziness Continues With The Amazing Kreskin. 10/31/ninety seven. 8:20am NOTE: This phase will air on E! Tonight at 11pm! Now directly to the massive a part of trendy show. The Amazing Kreskin came in to do a sÃ©ance and to have someone channel the past due Sam Kinison. He chose approximately 20 humans for the sÃ©ance. The humans were seated at bridge tables and I believe there had been 4 in keeping with desk. Kreskin had the human beings maintain palms and after announcing a few phrases the tables have been shaking and falling apart proper in the front of all people's eyes. One of the men got so freaked out by the whole lot that he ran out in tears! It need to have been pretty actual for that man. He become crying something approximately seeing his useless brother or something as he ran out. He later stated that his brother died approximately a month ago. I bet he notion he become contacting him or something. Howard and Robin seemed surprised with the aid of what became going on. Kreskin did a couple of different matters to demonstrate what become occurring. He had one of the humans at the table take their hand away and the table would prevent shaking. After that trick turned into finished Howard needed to take a damage. After the damage they came again and Kreskin had 7 humans that he might be trying to have Sam Kinison channel thru. He did some hocus pocus at the men and then had ''Sam'' communicate thru them. The handiest hassle with the whole thing become that each man contradicted the next. One man would cross into a Kinison voice and say that he overlooked tablets extra than his ex-wife and any other guy could say that people should stay away from capsules and live existence easy and some other guy would say that he changed into pissed that his ex-wife were given married. It just wasn't believable enough. Kreskin might then ask the guys if they remembered what they had just carried out. Of course they didn't. It become nonetheless fairly wonderful though. The Amazing Einziger Explains Kreskin. 10/31/ninety seven. Nine:40am After Kreskin left, Scott Einziger from E! Instructed Howard that he knew how Kreskin did his hints. They had a dialogue in the course of a commercial spoil and Howard thought that Scott's clarification become so ridiculous that he added it up on the air. Scott told Howard that Kreskin does the whole lot along with his power of suggestion. It's nonetheless quite wonderful despite the fact that this is how the guy does it. But there have been 20 human beings that he did it to and Howard doesn't recognize how the fellow can use his power of concept to get that many human beings to cooperate with him and make tables shake. It looks like Howard turned into nonetheless inspired with what Kreskin did despite the fact that he knows that they weren't clearly contacting any useless humans. The argument went on for a while till Howard made Scott do his personal sÃ©ance with a few people. Needless to say he couldn't get them to do the same thing as Kreskin. This complete discussion sooner or later turned into an excellent stupider one. Howard and Ralph were arguing approximately why the Star Trek display has a black Vulcan. Ralph doesn't think it's right. They argued about that subject for every other 20 minutes after the Kreskin aspect. What a full day of wackieness. -- Thursday October 30, 1997 -Author Les Krantz Calls In. 10/30/97. 7:35am This guy wrote a book known as ''The Definitive Guide To The Best And Worst Of Everything''. It has tons of information for pretty much everything you can imagine. Howard ended up talking to this guy three one-of-a-kind instances during the show today. The talked about such things as which nation has the most Jewish people in it and which town has the most homeless. Here are a few examples: State with the maximum Jews - New York 1,645,000 Number 2 is California with about 922,000 State with the least Jews - South Dakota, Idaho, Wyoming - tie with less than 500 in step with kingdom! City with the most important percentage of black human beings - Detroit with 75.7% City with the maximum homeless people - New York City with over 55,000 City with the most important crime price - Miami
Florida So that is what the ebook is ready. There are a group of other matters that they mentioned while Howard talked to him later inside the morning. Some of them are going to be within the sequel to this ebook. Here are a few extra: The loneliest activity - Astronaut Which vegetable has the most calories - Potato What day is the most popular for TV viewing - Sunday Which race has the largest penis length - Scandinavian guys The biggest penis ever measured on a person - thirteen inches. New Jersey Governor Whitman Calls In Again. 10/30/97. Eight:10am Governor Whitman called in for the second time in 2 weeks to speak with Howard. She'll be coming all the way down to the studio on Monday. Howard is backing her for the second time now. Caller Who Slept With His Twin Sisters! 10/30/ninety seven. Eight:30am This man known as in to get some recommendation from Howard. He instructed a tale about how he ended up snoozing with his two younger sisters one night time. He's 25 and they may be 19. He turned into supporting them out with their laptop or something and they ended up going out and getting inebriated. When they got returned to their residence one thing caused every other and they had intercourse. He stated it became the nice sex he ever had. The man is married too. According to what he said his sisters seem like Crystal Bernard and his spouse seems like th. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos female who plays the Tool Time girl on ''Home Improvement''. He stated that his sisters need him to return returned up this weekend and he desired to recognise what to do. Howard did not have lots advice for the man however I'm certain he will do what is proper.. And just what exactly is the proper thing to do? Aerosmith Autographed Guitar Giveaway. 10/30/ninety seven. Nine:10am Howard had an autographed Les Paul guitar to offer away this morning so he played the homeless game. This is in which he receives a listener on the smartphone and plays tape of a homeless guy answering questions. If the caller guesses efficiently at whether or not or not the homeless guy answers successfully he can win the guitar. He has to get three out of five guesses accurate. Here are the five questions and solutions: Question Caller Answer Correct? How many aspects does a rectangle have? Y Maybe 3.. Incorrect Finish this famous quote ''Give me liberty or deliver me. '' N Hope Incorrect What united states of america turned into Hitler from? N Germany Correct What usa become Napoleon from? N England Incorrect What is frozen water known as? Y Ice Correct As you can see the caller got 3 out of the five correct so he gained the guitar. After that contest there have been nonetheless extra inquiries to play so Howard and the group had been betting at the final results. Here are the questions and solutions for those: Question Answer Correct? Where turned into J.F.K. Shot? Florida Incorrect Name 2 of the Beatles. Paul and ? Correct How many kids is triplets? Two Incorrect Who is Batman's sidekick? Robin Correct How many hours are in a day? 24 Correct The making a bet changed into loopy so I couldn't tell you who gained the most but Robin ended up popping out even after dropping pretty a chunk. As Howard talked about, they have to have recognised how dumb the fellow could be because at the start of the wondering he said that he cannot study. -- Wednesday October 29, 1997 -Jackie's Joke Book Hits The Book Stores. 10/29/ninety seven. 7:20am ''Jackie The JokeMan Martling's Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book'' has been published and is now being sold in e-book stores all over the u . S .. Howard wrote the ahead for Jackie so you may additionally want to check it out for that reason on my own. I'm positive there are some funny jokes in the book additionally. Jasmine St. Claire Comes In. 10/29/97. 7:25am Porno big name Jasmine St. Claire was presupposed to reveal an act that she's performed before in which she has flames taking pictures out of her private elements. She couldn't do it today due to the fact she had a bit accident the alternative day. This aspect that she makes use of has a few tubes coming out of it to shoot the flame. One of the tubes broke or melted and burned her personal place. She did have a video tape of over again when she did it although. Howard watched it as an alternative. It should have a hell of a sight. She had like 3 foot flames taking pictures out of those tubes. I do not know precisely what it seemed like but it need to were nuts. There had been additionally 2 firemen who got here down to the studio for her demonstration but they weren't wished nowadays. They have been dressed in full equipment and had first resource components simply in case she hurt herself. They did get the threat to look a number of the video tape though. The Luckiest Unlucky Man Alive, Bill Goss, Calls In. 10/29/ninety seven. 8:10am This guy Bill Goss wrote a e-book called ''The Luckiest Unlucky Man Alive''. The ebook is ready his many close todying reviews. The man talked about five or 6 one-of-a-kind horrible stories and I'm positive there are more in his e book. Here are a few examples of his close calls: At age 9 he almost drown in a sink. He dangled off the side of a mountain even as hiking. He become hit via a automobile that became doing approximately 60 mph and had an out of body experience. A truck he was riding loaded with 2000 pound bombs blew a tire and spilled the bombs on the road. He had a wasp fly in his mouth and sting him a gaggle of times even as riding a motorbike. I'd live away from this guy if I were you. Bad good fortune seems to observe him round. He's going to be signing books on the Borders books in the Short Hills Mall in New Jersey on November 15. Convey a hard had and hearth extinguisher.. A little more wackieness earlier than the man got off the smartphone. He once attempted to get Howard's ebook ''Private Parts'' taken out of book shops. His child picked up the book and noticed the photo of Jackie sticking his finger right into a guy's ass. He wrote to the ACLU and multiple other groups who told him that Howard had the proper to put up what he did. The guy did not know that Howard knew about that once he called in. Howard wasn't being a dick approximately it either. He was simply interested by the fellow's stories. Jackie Breaking Copyright Laws!? 10/29/ninety seven. Nine:15am A photographer referred to as in to inform Howard that some of the pics in Jackie's new e-book had been used without permission. The man who known as in went out and purchased the book this morning and observed proper away that a number of the snap shots had been his. He said that he sends his images to the copyright workplace in Washington DC more than one weeks after he's taking them so technically Jackie is breaking copyright legal guidelines. The guy wasn't too upset approximately it even though. He stated that he'd settle for Jackie to eat some chocolate cake out of his ass or some thing like that. We likely have not heard the remaining of this little incident. -Tuesday October 28, 1997 (Original write up) -- Suzanne Somers/Queef Girl/Guy Who Gives Oral To Himself. 10/28/97. 7:30am Suzanne Somers came in to plug a pair of factors this morning. Her tv show ''Step By Step'' has moved from ABC to CBS and airs Friday nights at 9:30am. Her e-book ''Eat Great, Lose Weight'' changed into one among her other plugs. She is likewise selling her personal line of jewellery that she designed. She's also writing some other e book approximately her
existence. The ultimate one she wrote mentioned the fact that she used to be a mattress wetter and all forms of different suitable stuff. Okay, sufficient approximately Suzanne's plugs. Howard told Suzanne that he had a woman who loves to use the Butt-Master excercize machine which Suzanne used to advertize on tv. He had the female are available to expose Suzanne how lots she appreciated it. Well the girl got here in and started the excercise and all of a unexpected there had been farting sounds coming from her. She wasn't farting although, she became queefing from her vagina. The female went on to illustrate her expertise for Suzanne and her husband Alan. She did quite a few of them and even attempted to do it standing on her head. That failed to paintings although. After that Howard had a man who claimed that he ought to ''Orally please himself''. The guy desired to get his band's music played on the air so he stated he'd exhibit. The guy is not within the band, he stated that he just promotes them. The man needed a couple of minutes to get himself ready for the demonstration so Howard took a industrial smash and permit the man visit the bathroom to get himself exicted. They got here lower back from commercial and the guy couldn't get himself within the proper kingdom of thoughts but said that he should nevertheless do it. In the suggest time a record corporation guy called in and stated that he'd supply the band a demo deal if the guy ought to actually do it. Well, the fellow did it and all of us turned into cracking up giggling. Howard said the man looked like ''..A chicken pulling a trojan horse out of the floor..'' as he turned into doing it. Suzanne became speechless. Howard did play the band's tune however it really wasn't that first-rate. The call of the band is ''Quartermint'' or something like that. They have a web site in case you're involved: www.Quartermint.Com. Before Suzanne left she advised a tale about how she got pregnant at age 16 without having sex. She said that she become carrying a skirt and her boyfriend turned into sporting jeans. The boyfriend did his element in his pants and she or he by hook or by crook were given pregnant. After she left Howard said that he failed to accept as true with her tale. Whew! What a morning! Comedian Nick DiPalo Calls In. 10/28/ninety seven. Eight:55am Earlier within the morning Howard was speaking about how he awoke inside the midnight due to the fact he could not sleep. He ended up watching The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He noticed a comic doing a little truly humorous cloth however he did not realize who it became. That comic turned out to be Nick DiPalo. He known as in to thank Howard for citing how funny he changed into. Captain Janks, Crackhead Bob And Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Come In. 10/28/97. 9:30am Janks, Bob and Kenneth are doing a mini-excursion together in order that they came in to plug a number of their look dates. Crackhead Bob even had his fiance with him. She looked awesome consistent with Howard. Bob is one fortunate man. He can barely communicate or stroll but he has a beautiful, dancer girlfriend. She told Howard that she used to dance on MTV's The Grind. She's now a hip-hop dance teacher. Howard spent maximum of the segment speakme to Bob and his lady (who's call escapes me proper now). They have an excellent sex lifestyles and Janks stated they appear to genuinely be in love with one another. Kenneth Keith became form of mellow these days. He was setting on his voice extra than usual but he became taking it clean. He stated that one among his songs could be featured on an upcoming WYSP (Philly Station) compilation CD. The men may be appering on the Micro Club in Philly on Friday night time, Sweeny's on Saturday and more than one different places that I neglected. -- Tuesday, October 28, 1997 (As replayed on Friday, November 10, 2006) -Master Tape Theatre - October 28, 1997. Eleven/10/06. 6:00am Howard changed into off these days so we had some other edition of Master Tape Theatre which is a replay of an vintage K-Rock show. Today's replay turned into the October 28, 1997 show. I did a write up of this display back in 1997 however I've up to date it with what I heard today. All times are exceptional than they had been whilst the show at first aired since they have cut out many of the classified ads that aired lower back then. Howard Starts The Show, Takes A Break. 10/28/1997. 6:00am Show establishing bits and songs protected: James Taylor acting ''Carolina in My Mind'' stay in Howard's studio, Geraldo Rivera advent for Howard Stern. Howard said that they had a busy show coming up today. They had a man who says he can carrier himself coming in in addition to Suzanne Somers, Captain Janks, Crackhead Bob and others. He additionally stated the display made the news after they had Amy Heckerling within the studio the day earlier than. He examine a number of the article quickly and then took a commercial smash. Jeanine's Telepathic Powers. 10/28/1997. 6:05am After the destroy Howard said human beings have been calling him asking about the stock marketplace. He stated the stock marketplace goes up and down all of the time and also you can't control it. He spent a couple of minutes talking to the guys approximately why the market had taken a dive. He joked that Steve Grillo had lost an entire $18 in the marketplace. Jackie said he turned into watching the marketplace the day before and it changed into hard to look it take a dive. Howard had this lady on the phone by the name of Jeanine. He said he got a letter from her the opposite day and she or he wanted to speak approximately the invasion of her privateness. He became attempting to speak approximately that but the smartphone gadget sounded awful so he needed to complain approximately that. Howard stated that Jeanine thinks that a person has been invading her privateness and she believes that she will inform, via her telepathic powers, that Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw, Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Harry Anderson, Richard Starkey (Ringo Starr), George Lucas, Natalie Merchant, Amy Grant and others are those who are invading her privateness. Jeanine instructed Howard that she gets these mind in her thoughts approximately these human beings and she's been having them because 1989 or so. She's not positive why they are bothering her. She advised Howard about these mind she gets in her head and the way she translates them as human beings invading her privacy. Howard said he believes that all of those people are virtually operating together investigating her for a movie venture. He asked Jeanine if that is what she thinks is going on. Jeanine said she would not think it truly is the case. She additionally said that she has no longer been treated for this trouble. Jeanine said she is not able to work because of those problems she has. She has this recognition because of those humans and that maintains her from getting a task. Fred performed the cuckoo clock sound at one point while they have been talking to this female. Howard took a name from a man who concept Howard become leading this lady on and making amusing of her instead of helping her. Robin asked Jeanine if she has anyone to attend to her. She stated she type of has folks that help her out. Her family tries to assist her out with cash. Howard took any other call from a lady, Terry, who wouldn't agree with that she became simply at the air when Howard told her she was. She had to show her radio off to take
into account that she changed into definitely at the air due to the delay they had. She then requested Howard ''what is up'' which drove him nuts. The girl instructed Howard that having the lady at the air is not a funny story and he should not be treating her this way. She stated that she's had comparable problems however she has found out to live with it. She then told Jeanine that she has a intellectual illness and this isn't always occurring to her and he or she is aware of because she's been within the identical state of affairs. She cursed at one factor so Howard had to ask her not to use profanity at the air. Howard requested Terry who was contacting her. She didn't supply any names so Howard stated that he's pretty certain no men have been contacting her with the voice she has. Howard attempted to get it out of her however she wouldn't say who it changed into that changed into contacting her. He threatened to hold up on her after she used the S-phrase once more. Terry stated that she thinks that Princess Diana isn't always lifeless and she's honestly hiding out so she can come out after she wins Star Search. Howard instructed Terry that he heard from Princess Diana and she or he is going to pop out whilst she wins Star Search. Terry said she is aware of he's now not telling the truth and is aware of that it changed into all mental. Howard was going to hang up on Terry however she didn't need him to. She asked Howard to inform Sage ''hello'' for her. She was attempting to say that for an antique boyfriend of hers. Howard stated that the stock marketplace became easier to figure out than those two. Howard informed Jeanine that he'd inspect this for her and allow her cross a brief time later. He went to break proper after that. Howard Checks Out Perfect 10 Magazine. 10/28/1997. 6:35am After the ruin Howard instructed Robin that he goofed on Ralph the day past by way of setting a fake penis in his shorts and telling him he wanted him to test out a probable herpes sore on his penis. He said Ralph became fooled for some seconds however then he realized he became being goofed on. Howard stated he were given a replica of this new magazine Perfect 10 and it nearly ruined his day. He stated all the ladies are all herbal and they can't have implants or whatever like that. He stated they may be all warm and out of the 15 women, 5 of them stated that their favorite comic is Howard Stern. Gary couldn't trust that he read via all of their profiles. Howard said that this one chick, Jocelyn, turned into so hot and showed the guys her ass. He rattled off her profile due to the fact he had it memorized. He knew her favourite actor and all of that stuff. He figured he ought to get the lady after studying the profile. Then he came throughout Carolena who additionally stated she likes Howard Stern. He figured girls who preferred him inside the same magazine changed into pretty cool. Then he got here throughout Angelie who additionally stated she likes Howard Stern. And then Lexie's profile found out that she likes Howard Stern as properly. Howard stated he became going nuts after studying all of that. Robin did not agree with that any of the women surely even knew him. Howard told Gary to ebook all the women so they may question them approximately the profiles. Howard stated the magazine has a waiter ballot where they ask waiters in extraordinary restaurants where they ask about distinct celebrities and the way they tip. Steve Martin got bad mouthed by a number of the waiters. Arnold Scwarzenegger got some exceptional remarks. Faye Dunaway turned into additionally liked by means of the waiters. He examine via a bunch of different celebrities that had been indexed in that article. Rodney Dangerfield got some poor feedback whilst Tom Hanks become advantageous. Sylvester Stallone became poor. Howard said that Rick Dees turned into indexed in there and they stated that he's one of the nicest guys in show enterprise in keeping with the object. Howard's call become additionally in there and he says he is going out of his manner to go away great recommendations to make sure he doesn't undergo this form of stuff. He stated he as soon as left a $30 tip on a $15 invoice at a Chinese food eating place. Gary stated he knows that Howard leaves true guidelines and he's in no way complained at a restaurant. Howard examine the object wherein someone claimed that Howard has bodyguards with him whilst he goes out to consume. Howard stated that in no way takes place. Howard explained how he's taken security guys out to dinner with him however they were not operating as bodyguards. He stated they're usually simply guys who paintings for the people he's working for. He wrapped up the discussion approximately the mag and stated that was the plug they had been seeking out. He could not recover from the truth that each one of those women had indexed him of their profiles. He would additionally like to fulfill the waiter who terrible mouthed him in that article he was simply analyzing. He said he needs the five girls who like him and the waiter from that article to be introduced in on the identical time. Various Stuff. 10/28/1997. 6:50am Howard said the guy who become coming in to carry out fellatio on himself didn't need a prize, he desired him to play his CD on the air. Howard questioned if he ought to convey that man in or read a few feedback from Yanni. Robin wanted to hear the Yanni element. Howard examine an interview that changed into finished with Yanni where he explained why he would not want to appear at the Howard Stern Show even though he became invited. Howard study Yanni's rambling comment approximately why he failed to need to seem at the show. Howard stated that he appears to be a jack-off asswipe to him. Howard spent a short time talking approximately how he turned into watching Jay Leno's display the night earlier than and how humorous this one comic turned into at the display. He said he'd like to listen that act again. Letterman had Mariah Carrey on his display but she handiest done a tune in place of doing an interview with him. Howard became also looking Conan O'Brien's show which turned into kind of lame. He also mentioned Tom Snyder's show and the way awful this is. He mentioned how disturbing that guy appears and the way lousy his display is. He said he's a scary guy and he is no longer positive how anyone can watch that display. Kreskin Prepares For Next Appearance. 10/28/1997. 6:55am Howard had Kreskin on the telephone. He stated that Kreskin had some massive news for them the other day when he referred to as Gary and claimed that he had received 21 hands of Blackjack in a row. Howard idea that he had executed that before to other radio stations however Kreskin said he has in no way performed that earlier than. Kreskin instructed Howard he wants to do some thing on the show wherein human beings convey of their personal card tables. He needs 28-32 humans to try this component however Howard advised him he would not have enough room within the studio to do that. Howard asked Kreskin if he ought to ruin the tables over his head if the bit sucks. Kreskin just laughed. Howard requested Kreskin if this became going to be exciting audio due to the fact it is a radio display. Kreskin stated it is going to be exciting. He said that one of the humans they've in the room will feel that they have been taken over with the aid of Sam Kinison and they will be able to ask him questions. Howard stated he thinks that is going to be worse than Geraldo Rivera
beginning Al Capone's vault. Howard stated he can't wait to peer Sam Kinison in the room when Kreskin comes in. Kreskin said they may have a true channelling inside the studio. Howard needed to move to break a quick time later. Suzanne Somers, Debbie The Queefer 10/28/1997. 7:15am Howard got here back from wreck and stated he was backed up with guests. He had Suzanne Somers and the guy who turned into going to fellate himself waiting to are available in. He spent a quick time speakme about Cindy Crawford's TV show and how he thinks that she have to simply hold her mouth close due to the fact she speaks in such a monotone. Howard had Gary bring in Suzanne Somers so he could interview her. He checked her out and stated her husband looks like hell but she seems extraordinary. He spent a couple of minutes talking to her husband and pointed out this Buttmaster component that Suzanne become selling. He told Suzanne they have a female there who was inclined to demonstrate the Buttmaster for them if they wanted to peer that. Howard requested Suzanne if she wanted to look the Buttmaster issue and additionally this guy who claims he can fellate himself. Howard had the woman come in to illustrate the Buttmaster. He had her take a seat down and give it a try to see what precisely it does. As she became doing it the woman set free some queefs. Howard then said that this became Debbie the Queefer who makes sounds together with her private parts. Howard advised Suzanne that they weren't farts but queefs which were coming from her private elements. Alan said that become the Queefmaster. Howard requested Debbie how she does that. Debbie said she's able to suck the air in by means of contracting her stomach muscle tissues. She validated it a little extra for every body. She even stood on her head and did some more queefing whilst status on her head. She sucked in some air and blasted it out again. She blasted out a pair extra earlier than Howard allow her go. Suzanne passed over one in every of her books for Debbie as she was leaving. Howard got lower back to Suzanne and pointed out her book income and how they may be doing (Suzanne Somers' Eat Great, Lose Weight). He also introduced up her bed wetting and family existence that he'd study about in her ebook. She mentioned how she become able to forestall herself from wetting the bed. Howard instructed Suzanne he doesn't understand how she will do an interview with Tom Snyder due to the fact he is such a awful interviewer. She informed him approximately how she once wrote him a letter pronouncing ''fuck you'' after he had said some thing nasty approximately her. So Howard needed to hit the put off on her. Suzanne refused to do his show for a long time after he made that comment approximately her but she ultimately went on and had an amazing time. Howard instructed Suzanne he had to bring this man in to fellate himself due to the fact he was running out of time. He instructed Suzanne about how the fellow were given booked for the display and the way he claimed that he may want to fellate himself. Alan said if he should do that he could never get away from bed. The guy got here in dressed in a disguise so nobody might understand him. He also got here in with a Playboy mag to help himself get aroused. Howard asked the guy a few questions about how he observed out he could do this. The guy said he become about 12 when he figured it out. Howard said that his music isn't always all that extremely good however it really is the whole motive he become there to do this. He wanted his CD to be played, that's it. Howard asked the fellow if he has ever performed a full of completion of the act. Howard said he might be gay if he does that and did his cough ''haggot'' aspect to the man. Howard spoke to this man's band mate Marco who gave the fellow's call as Leon. They spent a few minutes talking however Howard needed to take a spoil before they may get to this man fellating himself. Leon Fellates Himself In Front Of Suzanne Somers. 10/28/1997. 7:40am After the smash Howard requested Suzanne about Cindy Crawford and her lousy interviews. He moved on to this man Leon who turned into going to fellate himself. Howard stated he had a man from a file corporation at the smartphone who turned into inclined to present the fellow a demo deal if he can genuinely do that thing. The guy said that Leon has to finish the process to get the deal however Howard said they wouldn't be going that a long way with this guy. Gary stated this man became in Tommy Lee territory with the size of his penis. Suzanne stated she failed to need any part of this complete issue. She advised the fellow to think of her as Chrissy Snow from Three's Company in place of Suzanne Somers. Howard instructed Leon that if he should try this thing he should get a file deal. The guy could not get himself hard but he went proper ahead with everything and commenced to suck on his very own member. Robin took a look and were given a laugh out of it. Gary stated the man needs to be a fag if he likes doing that. Howard permit the man from the report company, Matt, pay attention to this guy's band Quartermint and the guy informed him the name of the band was terrible. Howard stated he had heard it already and it wasn't all that brilliant. He played one tune and said he knew it turned into going to be horrific. Howard sang along side the track a bit bit. Suzanne additionally sang a bit bit herself. Howard let the music play through but talked over it and goofed on the guy a little bit. Leon gave out a web web site however it changed into long gone as of this writing (eleven/10/06). Matt told Howard to have Gary get a keep of him and he'd speak to this man about a file deal. He additionally got in a plug for the band Stereophonic which turned into a band he notion was going to be huge. Howard talked to Suzanne about the jewelry she's been promoting and all the other stuff she's been promoting. Suzanne informed Howard approximately all of that stuff for a quick time. Howard gave her a plug for her book and seemed through it to peer the cute snap shots of her. Suzanne instructed Howard approximately how she were given pregnant by a man despite the fact that they didn't have sex. She believes that it occurred thru her panties after she fooled round with the fellow. Howard also requested about having intercourse with Suzanne and Alan did not seem to have a good deal of a hassle with that. Howard spent a couple greater mins speakme to Suzanne earlier than going to commercial damage. Montreal Ratings Reports. 10/28/1997. 8:05am After the ruin Howard examine a note from their Montreal radio station and the way they had gotten a massive scores boost for the reason that occurring the air up there. He stated CHOM become doing thoroughly seeing that putting him on the air. Howard went thru that article and bragged approximately how famous they had been up there already. He stated that some human beings could not trust that the French humans up there could be taking note of Howard Stern after his anti-French rant he did on his first day at the air. Howard performed a news document from up in Canada in which they said on his ratings up in Montreal. They have been already seeking to get him kicked off the air. Howard needed to fart so he had Jackie pull his finger. He said he's been consuming a whole lot of peanut butter these days and that is why he became farting. He additionally got in a few plugs for
Reebok considering that their clothes were becoming him perfectly and he really appreciated likes them. Comedian Nick DiPaolo Calls In. 10/28/1997. 8:15am Howard had comic Nick DiPaolo at the smartphone. He became the comedian he changed into talking approximately seeing on The Tonight Show the night earlier than. Nick instructed Howard he virtually appreciated the fine remarks. He advised a number of the jokes he was telling that Howard favored. He became joking approximately staying in inn rooms where the warmth or air con is on full blast and also you come to be with stuff to your nose like Triskets. He additionally made the whistling sound that his nose makes with that crap in his nose. Nick additionally informed Howard approximately how he had some troubles with this man Bud Friedman. He stated Bob Schimmel was involved within the court docket case he was concerned with. There have been 4 comedians total if so. Howard clearly guessed that Schimmel changed into part of that because he just figured he changed into the type of guy who could get into something like that. Nick informed Howard how his friend referred to as him to let him realize that he become speakme about him this morning. He in reality appreciated what he became announcing about him. He advised Howard some other tale about how he had a tumbler thrown at him at a membership he become at one time because of a joke he advised. Howard thanked him for calling in and let him go a brief time later. Jackie stated he knows Nick however not all that nicely. Doug Goodstein Calls In From Howard's Rest Stop. 10/28/1997. 8:20am Howard stated that Doug Goodstein become down at his rest stop in New Jersey. Doug said they had been looking to interview some humans down there however it wasn't all that busy. The relaxation prevent turned into on Rt. 295 in New Jersey. Howard said he heard that the rest prevent is a gay rest stop. One of the truck drivers informed Doug that he become approached by way of a gay man however there has been no person round right now. Doug said that there was one truck idling and one trailer but that changed into about it. Howard allow him pass a quick time later. Howard had a kid at the phone who claimed that his father had dated Robin in some unspecified time in the future. The child told her his father's call and where he claimed to have dated her but she denied ever having dated a guy via that name. She said she was in no way a nurse in New Jersey like the kid's father claimed. Howard and Robin told the kid his father need to had been mendacity to him. He let him go a brief time later. Howard talked to the men about getting some homeless men for the Kreskin factor that they had developing past due within the week. Stuttering John stated that they needed to pay the guys like $20 to get them to are available in. John stated he goes down to the unemployment workplace to pick up the homeless men they use at the display. Howard thought that became certainly an awesome idea. Howard mentioned that Alice (Crazy Alice), the woman who hates all black people, might be on the E! Show. He needed to move to break a short time later. Captain Janks, Kenneth Keith And Crackhead Bob Visit. 10/28/1997. Eight:35am Howard came back from wreck and performed a prank name that Captain Janks made to Ed McMahon as Jim Carrey one time. He then moved on to a man from Merryl Lynch who was giving them some recommendation at the inventory marketplace. It become without a doubt Sal the Stockbroker pretending to be someone else. Howard hung up on him after he made some dopey comments now not knowing it became Sal. Howard had Captain Janks, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach and Crackhead Bob are available subsequent. He requested Fred to play the speech that Kenneth made for him one time that turned into pretty funny. Howard noticed an amazing looking girl who came within the studio and he changed into informed that it became Bob's fiancee. He stated she turned into way too warm for Crackhead Bob. He instructed Bob that she turned into beautiful. Crackhead Bob stated that he desired Howard to marry them. The woman's name become Nina but Bob could most effective say it as ''Dina.'' Nina stated she loves Bob and he or she has no longer cheated on him. Howard had her get up and said it appeared like she misplaced weight. She stated she's coaching dance and that helped her try this. Janks said that she's a very good searching woman. Howard heard that Nina became dishonest on Bob however if she swears she isn't then he'll ought to take her word. The man who claimed she become cheating had hung up the cellphone. Howard stated that Bob changed into getting fat. He requested him if he become having plenty of sex. He stated he became however Howard heard that he become having trouble getting it up. Nina said it's now not a hassle now, they may be getting it on simply nice. Bob stated that they're doing it once every couple of weeks. Nina instructed Howard that she's on birth control that maintains her from getting her duration and getting pregnant. She stated she would not get a length because of the pictures she gets. She said that it reduces her sex pressure though so it's no longer that awesome in relation to that. Bob advised Howard approximately how he has sex with Nina and mumbled some stuff to him. Howard had them kiss and once they did that he figured they had been for actual. He asked Nina if he's an excellent kisser or not. Nina said that he is good and advised Howard to provide it a strive himself. Nina informed Howard she dances for Bob so Howard asked her to illustrate for them. She stated she used to dance for the show ''the Grind'' so Howard concept it become form of funny that she danced there however now dates Crackhead Bob. She danced and Bob had some actions of his personal as she turned into dancing. Howard instructed them to sit down down after that. Kenneth stated that Nina ought to stand to lose about 20 pounds. She informed Ken that he ought to advantage 20. That regarded to confuse him. Kenneth instructed Howard about some publish cards he had made up together with his face on them. Howard pointed out the time that Kenneth seconded his nomination for Governor of New York. He performed the audio from that day and got some laughs out of that. Howard also had some tape of Captain Janks and Kenneth Keith having a snooze over. He stated that Ken taped himself slapping Janks within the face with dildos and stuff. Janks failed to recognise approximately that till Howard informed him approximately it. He advised Ken he'd better no longer doze off close to him every time soon. Howard asked Bob if he and Nina are going to get married each time soon. They didn't have any plans so Howard puzzled what become up with that. Nina stated she doesn't need whatever big, just a little some thing first-class. Howard requested Bob if he's afraid he is going to lose her if he doesn't marry her. Bob said he is now not fearful of losing her at all. Janks stated they surely do seem to love each other while he hangs out with them off the air. Howard informed Bob he thinks he had problems getting it up for Nina because of his crack use. She stated it can were her and perhaps it wasn't Bob's problem. Howard seemed to suppose it become Bob's problem even though. Howard asked him if he's ever carried out anal on her. Bob isn't interested by that. Nina also stated that Bob doesn't like to
give her oral but Bob said he does that each one the time. He misunderstood and did not recognize what they meant. Nina stated that Bob sucks her toes so Howard stated he wanted to peer that. He instructed Bob to move ahead and try this. He put her whole foot in her mouth a short time later. Nina stated that women ought to look at someone's heart and not just take them for what they assume they may be. That's why she's with Bob. Howard took a name from a guy who stated he went to high school with Nina and he or she become the most up to date chick in faculty. He also said he heard that she become a psycho when she became going out with one man who was in college while she became in high faculty. Howard said she didn't appear to be performing like a psycho nowadays. The guy said she ought to be if she's going out with Bob. Howard observed the ring that Nina had on her finger from Bob and it looked pretty great. She turned into definitely engaged to him and Howard stated he'd like to have seen her family's response to Bob being engaged to her. Howard requested Captain Janks and Kenneth Keith about the ladies they've had and spent a minute on that. Howard asked if Bob's kids had met Nina yet. Bob stated that they had met her but he's no longer even able to go to them himself. He stated he thinks that because he's at the display, his children have a trouble with him. Robin figured they have been getting a touch little bit of ribbing from their classmates over him appearing on the show. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Captain Janks has been doing forgeries of Howard's autograph for books he became giving freely. Janks asked him what membership he had long gone to in which he won the book he became talking approximately but the man couldn't don't forget. Janks figured he was complete of crap and wasn't telling the reality. Howard wrapped up with them and went to interrupt a brief time later. And Finally. 10/28/1997. 9:05am After the spoil Howard had Robin start her news. Howard spent a while talking to Jackie approximately the Stock Market because he appears to be into it. Jackie stated he's truly no longer however nobody believed that. Howard took a name from Crazy Alice past due in the information and informed her she become going to be on the E! Show. She went off on Robin a touch bit and stated that this become Howard's show and she shouldn't be talking to her. Alice stated hiya to her favorite man or woman Fred and to Baba Booey as properly. Howard wrapped up the display after that and ended it around nine:45am (Master Tape Theatre Time) -- Monday, October 27, 1997 (As replayed on Friday, May 18, 2007) -- Master Tape Theatre - October 27, 1997. 05/18/07. 6:00am This week's Master Tape Theatre was from October 27, 1997. This show turned into in my files but no longer very special. I have written it up these days with greater information as if I were listening to it for the first time. The authentic write up is beneath this one. No Fashion Award For Howard. 10/27/1997. 6:00am Show commencing bits and songs protected: ''Throw Yo Mama From The Train'' bit, Stone Temple Pilots acting ''Seven Caged Tigers'' live in Howard's studio, Jay Leno intro for Howard. Howard began off the show asking what came about on the VH-1 Fashion awards in view that he was nominated for an award. Fred said they're not presupposed to air till Tuesday. Howard requested Robin if she knew if he received. She stated she thinks that it would have made the information if he had. Howard figured it'd have made the information and gotten a few exposure for the display however they wouldn't want that. Howard said he were given a satellite dish so he needed to spend the weekend programming it. He stated he's were given approximately 500 channels so it's hard to locate simply what you want. He did that and then watched quite a few TV over the weekend. Robin said he have to be satisfied that she's there, she had to be rescued this weekend. He advised her to save that till after the wreck. He said they have been there stay, this wasn't a ''firstclass of'' or whatever like that. He went to interrupt a brief time later. Howard Causing Controversy In Canada. 10/27/1997. 6:15am After the spoil Howard performed a information clip from a Canadian information report where they were speakme approximately how the CBC might be casting off Howard from the airwaves up there. They played a couple of clips of him joking round and making feedback approximately passing gas through his ''stinky bunghole'' and such things as that. They also mentioned how exquisite his scores have been up there after he raised the station's scores by way of 250 percentage when they placed him on in Montreal. The document goes over the code of ethics the station has and the way they'll be getting rid of Howard for violating them. They say there must be no abusive comments about the people. As the men were being attentive to that report there has been a number of laughter coming from Howard and Jackie. Howard said he liked the file. He thinks that he's probable damaged every regulation there. He requested for them to take away him from the air already, he is bored. He said they've loads extra of Canada to overcome after that. He and Robin mentioned a number of the jokes he stated all through the click convention they had been pulling fees from. Robin Lost On A Horse For 3 Hours. 10/27/1997. 6:20am Robin said she went out horse back using the day prior to this and were given lost inside the woods. She said she became with a friend, in any other case she'd probably still be out misplaced. Howard said he was out driving his bicycle and he constantly ends up getting lost too. He said he has to retrace his steps to get back. Robin stated she turned into out for about 3 hours looking for her manner home. She said all the timber seemed the same and it became difficult to locate her manner back. She said the horse truely led them out of the woods in which they had been misplaced. She stated that they either ran into picnic grounds or dead ends. They even noticed a map at one factor but that didn't help them either. Howard stated Robin's horse ought to have in the end earned it is hold after getting her home. Robin stated the pony just went up the hill that she idea they could not move up. She said she didn't need to head up the hill however the horse just went proper up and over. She said she had people anticipating her in Manhattan due to the fact she wasn't purported to be out in the woods like that. She said a few humans have been despatched out to locate them due to the fact they were long gone so long. She heard a megaphone asking if she turned into misplaced. They certainly observed her due to the fact they heard pay attention giggling accessible. Howard stated that he figures that they have got approximately .0.5 percentage in their listeners using horses that may relate to her way of life. Robin said that they had been lucky because it changed into starting to get cold out and her pal's toes have been starting to freeze by the time they were given out of there. Howard stated they have been probably simply a hundred yards from the barn and didn't even comprehend it. Howard Talks About This New Thing Called Satellite Radio. 10/27/1997. 6:25am Howard said he bumped into a man who turned into going to be going for walks within the New York City Marathon and he simply cannot consider doing something like that. He
said he changed into going to run in a race this weekend but sponsored out due to the fact he failed to want people yelling at him as he was going for walks alongside. He become registered under any other name however figured that there could be photographers there trying to take his picture. He idea approximately it lengthy and tough and determined to just stay home and watch satellite tv for pc. He said he loves that satellite tv for pc factor due to the fact the picture is exceptional. He said that best 3 million humans have this DSS however there may be a new employer out that is starting some thing known as ''satellite radio'' and they are going on the way to stick digital radio on your car and there won't be any FCC issues with that. Howard stated that you have to envision that for the future. He said that during 10 years from now it can be large. He said which you'd ought to get the radios into the automobiles and anywhere else. He stated which you'd need this ''battery'' to put in your automobile however it's simply a receiver. He stated that might be the dimensions of the receiver, something like the length of 1 / 4. Howard discovered the object he turned into reading about this ''satellite radio'' and the way he thinks that it will create a group of recent jobs and it is going to be pretty good. He discovered some different exciting articles that he examine at the same time as attempting to find that satellite tv for pc radio article. He study about JFK Jr. Suing a hair wardrobe or some thing like that. He sooner or later found the item about the satellite radio. The corporation changed into referred to as ''CD Radio'' and they were racing to find a place for the studios. Howard said they were considering having the studios in New York City. Howard said they were saying they wished $500 million to get the corporation going. Howard concept that was quite a few cash and it'd take a while to sooner or later get it out there. Howard stated the satellite powered receivers would be approximately the scale of a silver greenback. He idea it sounded pretty cool. Robin had many questions about it and wondered how the satellite element might work because they do satellite stuff for the display and they handiest have a sure time to do it. Howard stated it's due to the fact they rent time on the satellite tv for pc to ship out the sign for the affiliates. Scott The Engineer's Curse Lifted? 10/27/1997. 6:35am Howard talked extra approximately this JFK Jr. And the way he just leaves his female and doesn't fear about it. He said he could by no means do this after the way his parents pounded things into his head. He and Robin spent a minute on that. Howard stated that Scott the Engineer thinks that his jinx is long past now that he is located a bet and gained. They had a fan call in and have him guess his $a hundred on a crew he wanted to lose and that they ended up prevailing so Scott thinks his curse is long past. Howard stated if it became Scott's very own cash and he had placed the bet himself, he might have misplaced. Howard had Gary are available in to tell a tale about a curse this is at the Cleveland Indians and where that all got here from. Then Scott got here in to talk approximately the bet he had received. Scott stated it turned into his personal cash, the man gave him the $one hundred so it became his cash at that factor. Stuttering John got here in and stated that they could bet on some video games this night if they desired to. Howard requested Scott if he desired to bet him together with his own money. Scott stated that he might choose the Dolphins but Howard informed him he wasn't going to take the guess. He said he failed to ought to take a wager if he did not agree with in it. He stated that Scott is a loser and any bet he makes with him, he's going to lose. He has to take a guess that he likes although. Stuttering John told them that they may take another sport so Howard stated he'd do this. Scott said the sport turned into a pot good fortune recreation and he did not need to wager on it. Howard said he'd deliver Scott whichever crew he desired however Scott did not need to move for it. Howard desired to play cards towards Scott so he told Gary to go get him a deck of cards. He spent a couple more minutes speaking to Scott but said he had to take a ruin. Scott claimed that his thoughts went together with his heart whilst he guess on one game that he lost on not too lengthy ago. Fred did his impression of Scott and stated ''My mind went with my hair'' and began giggling as he said that. The men all goofed on Scott for a couple more minutes before Howard needed to go to interrupt. Sam Kinison From Hell Replay. 10/27/1997. 6:55am Howard came returned from smash and replayed the clip of the phone name they had with Sam Kinison from Hell (Craig Gass). Here's what happened final week. Sam Kinison Calls In From Hell. 10/22/97. Eight:30am Every occasionally a smartphone line falls on the grave of the late comic Sam Kinison so he's able to call the display. If you do not agree with that then a comedian who does an brilliant influence of Sam calls in as Sam Kinison From Hell. Sam referred to as in and talked a touch bit about Lady Di and Gianni Versace being down there in Hell. He stated that once Versace arrived in hell the simplest aspect he said was ''Look what this guy did to my in shape!''. Sam failed to need to talk too much about the demise of Lady Diana but he did stated that Dodi Fayed has cheated on Diana with three of Sam's ex-girlfriends. He additionally stated that there's one desirable thing to come out of the loss of life of Lady Di. He said that he has ''. One kick ass limo driving force..'' Sam's connection turned into misplaced soon after that. The voice of Sam Kinison from Hell is performed by means of comic Craig Gass from Seattle. After playing that bit Howard moved on and talked about this men's magazine and the way they've an article approximately hiking and stuff like that. He said that these days you don't need a compass such as you needed years ago. Now people simply carry their cellular phones with them and in the event that they get lost, they think they can simply use the smartphone. He said there were a few men who ended up getting misplaced and it value the taxpayers $60,000 in search events to get them out of there. Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 10/27/1997. 7:00am Howard took a name from a man who asked if it changed into proper that there is a mentioned rift between Howard and David Bowie. Howard stated he knew not anything approximately that if there was one. He said he's in all likelihood upset that he went on the Joan Rivers display and talked to Angie Bowie, David's ex-wife, and asked her to inform them some thing right. She then blurted out that she had stuck David and Mick Jagger in mattress together one time. Howard said he absolutely respects his song and all of that. He said he honestly loved his tune over time however he's no longer certain what befell to him. He stated he thinks he's uptight approximately his bi-sexual beyond and that is why he might be kind of embarrassed via what came out about him. Howard said if Bowie comes on his show, he'd better do some of his old stuff and now not that new crap of his. Howard took every other call from a man who said he have become near buddies with Tiny Tim toward the stop of his life. He said he met him at an vintage show one time and sat down and talked to him approximately his life. He said he might go to all of his shows and things like that. Howard figured that all people could try this however the guy claimed he had Tiny Tim's
tooth and will show that he was close buddies with him. Howard failed to care and hung up on the man. Howard took some other name from a guy who added up Detroit and were given Howard speaking about that. He stated he labored there for a while and knew how scary it is able to be there. Howard spent a short time talking approximately that. Howard took a name from Melrose Larry Green who said that he had some stuff that might blow him away. He stated that he didn't want to say names but there are some people on his station out in L.A. That are stealing from him and plagiarizing his show. Howard stated it is common and he's used to that. Larry stated that they use Great American Nightmare in their establishing of the display. Howard stated it's miles on an album so it truly is no large deal. Melrose went on to speak approximately the opposite matters the show does to tear him off but Howard failed to want to pay attention it. He told Howard that their names have been Conway and Steckler. Howard informed Larry to get off his case and no longer call him to rile him up. He stated he's already in remedy so he need to simply leave him on my own. Howard stated he had the governor of New Jersey on the cellphone and couldn't spend time with Melrose. Melrose informed Howard that he is beginning up for Jackie Mason at a few comedy display. Howard stated he didn't agree with that so he requested him to tell some of his jokes. Melrose informed Howard some of his jokes and Fred performed a bomb dropping sound after each joke. Melrose said he does 8 minutes establishing up for Jackie Mason and gave Howard approximately a minute of it. Howard advised him he sincerely need to just take cyanide and get it over with. He hung up on him and moved on. NJ Governor Whitman Calls In. 10/27/1997. 7:10am Howard had Governor Christine Whitman at the phone. He pointed out how she stored all of the promises she made before she changed into elected and he was very happy with her for that. He stated that he is going to propose her again due to that and the reality that she didn't force the coverage groups to decrease their quotes. He stated that if she had performed that, it probable might have chased them out of the country. Governor Whitman said she has the same opinion with that. Howard went directly to bitch approximately people filing phony insurance claims and how that causes quotes to head up. Howard also talked to Governor Whitman approximately how he favored that she did not push for this overdue time period abortion ban that the right wing conservatives were pushing for. He additionally likes that she failed to sleep with Marv Albert. He additionally appreciated that she saved her promise to call a relaxation stop after him. Howard said he's going to attend until approximately 2 days before the election after which he's going to begin his push for Governor Whitman. He said in the event that they get rid of her now, they'd be making a big mistake. He stated that human beings don't genuinely make up their minds until the remaining minute in elections. He said he favored the manner Governor Whitman seemed whilst he noticed her on TV recently. She's been making herself up well nowadays. Governor Whitman said she'd be in next Monday and she or he changed into looking ahead to that. Howard allow her go a brief time later. Howard said that Scott DePace turned into yelling about her now not letting self-provider gas stations in the state. He stated this is the closing element Scott ought to be annoying about though. There are lots of other problems that she's taking care of. Howard said the man who is strolling towards Whitman is and odd man. Howard requested Scott DePace to are available to talk approximately his proceedings. Scott stated that Jersey has a lot of legal guidelines which might be ridiculous. He said that there may be a law against selfprovider gas stations and he doesn't like that. Howard informed Scott that he is were given a low IQ and should not be arguing these things. Gary came in and stated that Scott need to be retarded because he pumped his personal fuel in New Jersey just currently. Scott advised him he couldn't had been in New Jersey. Gary wondered what form of complaint that is due to the fact meaning you do not have to pump your personal fuel. Scott said that was just a minor grievance he had. He's got others as nicely. Howard told him it's ridiculous and advised him he is insane. Howard stated he had a guy on the smartphone who says that there's a law towards the self-service thing in New Jersey. Howard instructed Scott he should talk to Governor Whitman about that next week whilst she comes in. Satellite TV Discussions. 10/27/1997. 7:20am Howard got lower back to talking approximately satellite TV and the way first rate the image is. He said he has to use cable to get the neighborhood networks although so that's type of tousled. He said they'll eventually paintings that out and they may get the local channels on satellite tv for pc TV. He stated he loves it and the way clear the photograph is. He instructed Robin that he will need to have her over to test it out sometime. Robin said that she asked Howard to pop out and notice her horse one time and he refused to the touch it. Howard stated that they're simply big, dumb animals and he had no choice to the touch it. Howard said Jackie became there with Robin's horse and he became bouncing at the thing not like Robin bouncing along side the horse. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos He stated Jackie was bouncing on it so tough it appeared like it'd harm the pony. He said that you need to see Jackie on the horse, they ought to have tape of it due to the fact E! Taped it. Howard stated he did contact that horse in some unspecified time in the future. He stated he was worried with the horse's nutsack. Howard talked extra approximately the satellite tv for pc TV aspect and how many cool TV suggests there had been to watch. He advised Jackie that they have a brand new field now that helps you to examine your menus and notice TV on the identical time. He stated it's very cool stuff. He instructed Robin that he became watching a football game and also a national cheerleading opposition. He said they may be some hot broads in that competition. Gary stated that the suggests are normally subsidized by means of Tampax and that makes him feel sort of gay. Howard advised him it is from gay and he is watching it for the recent chicks. Howard pointed out the stuff the commentators communicate approximately in the course of the competitions and how abnormal they may be. Gary said he is seen some high college cheerleading competitions as nicely. Gary said that there are lots of ESPNs obtainable now and that they have all of that stuff on there. The guys talked about a number of the crazy channels they've obtainable now. Howard said he blocks out maximum of that stuff because he would not watch it. Author With 3 Personalities, Jeanie Carpenter, Calls In. 10/27/1997. 7:30am Howard stated that he had this female Jeanie Carpenter coming at the show. She has three awesome personalities. Howard stated they will be talking to all 3 of them today. He were given her at the cellphone a short time later after Fred performed some horror movie music. Howard asked Jeanie if she's a kook. She said that she's not cuckoo at all. She claims that everybody has 3 personalities and wanted to provide an explanation for what she supposed. Robin asked if she qualifies for the carpool lane with those 3
personalities. Howard didn't want her to maintain goofing on her like that. Howard requested Jeanie approximately what occurred to her that made her like this. She stated that she did not clearly have the hazard to develop when she changed into a child. She stated that she wasn't molested or whatever like that but her father changed into an alcoholic and he dealt with her very poorly. She stated that they determined their father handed out one time and that turned into a totally disturbing occasion for her and her sister. She said that when she had a damage down in any case of that, she located all of her personalities. Howard wanted to talk to the special personalities separately but she stated that likely would not happen. She stated that they're all integrated. Howard requested Jeanie if she had extraordinary varieties of clothing and such things as that. She stated she certainly did and some personalities would not contact the opposite's garments. She stated that she's all incorporated now so the ones separate personalities do not pop out like that anymore. Howard requested her if she ever wakened with a sore ass after one of the personalities went out and had anal. She said she does not remember if it ever did. One of Jeanie's personalities turned into referred to as JJ and she or he became the promiscuous person who would go out and select up guys. Jeanie said that everybody has similar personalities in them and that's what she writes approximately in her ebook ''Naked As We Stand.'' Howard stated he was hoping that her personalities could all come out and begin arguing with every other or some thing like that. Howard requested her how she wrote the e-book if she doesn't recognize what her other personalities did. She stated she become capable of do it years in the past. She said they told her there was not anything bodily wrong together with her and it was all from now not developing typically as a toddler. Howard took a call from a woman who claims she's got three personalities as properly. Howard requested her if one of them is a whore. She said ''oh fuck yeah'' to that. Howard asked her some questions about that however he stated he became getting pressured by way of it all so he gave up on it and permit each of the girls cross. Howard took a name from a guy who said that this is simply an excuse for those girls to head act like whores. Howard agreed with him. The caller also said that he thinks that anyone can write a ebook now that he is heard that woman. He additionally stated he seems like going out and being a whore right now. Howard needed to go to break after that. Frightening Technology - Baby Monitors. 10/27/1997. 7:55am After the spoil Howard had Steve Grillo inside the studio. He requested him to maintain quiet due to the fact he has no character. He instructed Steve he may want to go away for now until he receives to his Fashion Awards coverage. He stated he had this man at the smartphone who says that those baby video display unit. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos which are out now will will let you pick out up neighbor's video display units. Howard were given the man on the telephone and requested him what occurred to him. The guy said that they had been truely selecting up a telephone conversation on their infant screen. He stated that the 2 ladies that had been at the cellphone had been lesbians and that they have been arguing about their sleeping arrangements. Gary said that he can choose up his neighbor's baby display in his house. He figures that they can pay attention them as nicely so they make sure they by no means say anything in front of the reveal. Howard stated that one time a listener referred to as in and stated that he had heard Stuttering john at the smartphone with someone so he called in and repeated the conversation verbatim. Jackie did not understand about that and he became the only on the opposite cease of the telephone. Howard talked about how Gary was once handled without a doubt poorly by using this girl at NBC when he labored for her. Gary said that she used to yell at him all the time however she'd never curse over the 2-way radio. Gary stated at some point he were given a smartphone call from a guy who stated he could listen the ones conversations and Gary have to inform her to go fuck herself. Gary said that it is best that someone knows how he's getting yelled at, that manner he is not by myself. Howard said that NBC would undergo this entire component to make it look like that female became doing news reviews when it become sincerely Gary feeding her information from the station. They also talked about the humans that they had who could volunteer to name inside the site visitors statistics lower back then. Stuttering John came in and said it became clearly bizarre to have human beings telling them approximately conversations they have got had on their cordless telephones. Gary said that he heard a tale approximately Madonna that was seemingly unfold after people heard her speaking on a cordless cellphone. Gary had another tale to inform as nicely. He tried to sell an condo but he wasn't capable of sell it so he sublet it out to a woman. He stated that he rented it out to this lady and went over to check it out to easy it up. He asked the female if he should have his cleansing girl over there. She said that changed into great so he despatched her there. She said that he referred to as the woman to leave a message forgetting that his cleansing woman become there. Then the cleansing woman picked up and informed him how messy it turned into there. He instructed her he knew that and that is why she turned into there, the lady was a pig. Then he heard the answering device squeal and found out that the female turned into going to hear the answering device message. He were given a call from her later giggling telling him that she'd heard the message. Debbie Gibson And Kreskin Discussions. 10/27/1997. 8:05am Howard stated they requested Debbie Gibson to do the display however they wanted her to do a track parody for them. They came up with a song parody known as ''Candle in my C**t.'' He performed the music and defined that she failed to want to do it. He stated they are writing even extra songs for her now because she failed to need to try this one. He said she honestly desires to are available but on her own phrases. He said that he knows what is better for her than even she does so it's why he's now not letting her come in until she sings one of these songs. He said this is the best way she's going for you to trade her photo. Howard performed a new Crackhead Bob History second. This one turned into Bob as a bus driver and an air site visitors controller. Howard took a smartphone call after that. The caller asked how he may want to get in on this show they are doing on Friday. Howard said they had been going to exit trick or treating however matters aren't operating out very well for that. He stated that they've this bus that they are able to use to move around doing that but there are a lot of factors that would intervene with the broadcast. He stated he gave up on that concept after hearing all of the negatives. He said he thinks that different suggests do this stuff all of the time and he is wondering that it is all about money. Howard said that he does not need to pre-tape the event, he wants it to be live. The caller requested approximately the issue they may be doing with Kreskin later this week. He said that Kreskin is going to come in and have some guest channel the actual Sam Kinison. He stated they have got nothing to do with
what Kreskin is making plans. Howard said he constantly notion Kreskin set that stuff up however he heard that they in no way did. Howard said he heard that Kreskin changed into usually proper at being very observant at what human beings accomplish that this is how he is been able to do these tricks he is carried out. Howard said he desires to see how Kreskin pulls this complete element off because he is fascinated by it. He asked Gary to get him on the telephone so he ought to ask him about it. Gary tried to get him on the road so they could speak to him. Howard stated he'd like to talk to Kreskin's mom due to the fact he still lives at domestic together with her. Gary said that they got an answering gadget so that they needed to go away a message for him. Howard stated that they've to get five human beings down there to the studio and he is thinking that they have got to be ladies. Robin said that they ought to have a fancy dress contest to pick out the winners to are available in there. A caller informed Howard he worked for a TV show that shot a Kreskin trick twelve months and that they had approximately 20 human beings picked at random and that they had tables flying around the room and stuff like that. The humans have been just picked randomly so he is now not sure how he managed to make that occur. He said they offered the tables, however Kreskin picked the people from the group. Howard said that Kreskin is allowing them to choose the humans this time. Steve Grillo At The VH-1 Fashion Awards. 10/27/1997. 8:20am Howard introduced up the VH-1 Fashion awards and stated that Steve Grillo went down there to interview a few humans. He had Steve come back in and then played a number of his interviews. Steve spoke to Montel Williams and asked him multiple questions that he didn't answer. Howard said he would not recognize anything Grillo says and he desires to be an actor. Howard goofed on Steve a bit bit approximately that. He stated that Steve did get a chunk element in a TV show even though. It turned into just a one liner in NYPD Blue. Steve stated he changed into additionally inside the movie ''Silent Prey'' which he got on his personal. Howard figured he turned into getting those parts due to his display. Howard performed some other interview that Steve did with Dennis Hopper. Steve become yelling for him to come over to him. He requested him more than one questions and Hopper spoke back most of them no hassle. Then Steve asked Norm MacDonald some questions. Norm questioned why he got Steve to interview him. He said he'd instead have Stuttering john. Michael Moore become additionally interviewed via Steve. He asked him to sing a bit of his favorite John Denver track and Moore sang for him. Moore would not prevent singing as Steve was asking him a few different questions. Steve asked Fiona Apple a question and she or he flipped out on him about the question. Howard said Grillo got kicked out after that so he played a few audio of that. The other press humans have been yelling at safety to let him stay but they kicked him out besides. Steve said there without a doubt weren't any suitable human beings coming to the clicking room. That caused him talking extra about the component he had on NYPD Blue. His line changed into ''Rope head scumbags, we have were given exits at the front facet and the lower back.'' He mumbled via it so Howard and the guys goofed on him about the way he gives you his traces. Howard wondered if Amy Heckerling became hearing all of these items because she's a director. Director Amy Heckerling Visits. 10/27/1997. 8:30am Howard mentioned some of the movies that Amy Heckerling has directed and the way amazing more than one them had been. She labored on Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Clueless which might be more than one Howard's favorites. Gary added Amy in a quick time later. Howard said he notion she became a few old lady but she's exact searching and no longer so vintage. He had her sit down and advised her he was chubbing up seeing her. Howard requested Amy why she has Gilbert Gottfried over to her condominium for dinner. She defined how she had been engaged to Bronson Pinchot for a while so Howard got sidetracked speaking to her approximately him. He asked her if he's huge in the pants. Amy just laughed. She stated they started out going out after he got here in and study for her one time. Robin requested her if she's visible his new TV display. She told them that he moved out on her one night time that she turned into out running on a movie and hasn't seen him when you consider that. Howard had Gilbert Gottfried on the phone so he had the two of them speak about why that they had dinner collectively. Howard figured that Gilbert become going there trying to get into Amy's pants. Gilbert said he become clearly seeking to meet Bronson Pinchot. Howard introduced up the latest call they were given from Amy's babysitter due to the fact she become so dissatisfied with the way Gilbert acts in front of her. Amy said that Gilbert is a ill individual and it's now not clean in which to draw the line with him. Amy said that Gilbert asked her 12 12 months vintage daughter about having hair down beneath and he used the C-phrase describing it. Howard requested Gilbert why he would do the sort of aspect to a 12 yr old. Gilbert stated he referred to as Amy's residence sooner or later and the babysitter were given at the phone first. He did an impact of her speakme to him and stated that the daughter started giggling at her. He stated that eggs it on even more. Amy stated she type of likes that this is taking place at her domestic. Howard asked Gilbert if he notion it became beside the point to invite some thing like that of a 12 12 months old. He stated he does like to get to understand people, so it truly is why he did it. Amy stated that Gilbert is the type of man who will insult the target audience till they are all long past after which stand there telling jokes to make himself giggle. She said a man like that isn't all there. Howard requested Amy what her daughter did whilst Gilbert requested all of those questions. She stated that she advised him that his profession was over and he changed into down to just doing Cheerios classified ads. Gilbert stated he's had Amy's babysitter call him at three in the morning to yell at him about the remarks he's made approximately the Jews. He stated she'll even put the 12 12 months old at the telephone to yell at him too. Amy said she's type of torn because she knows Gilbert can't assist it however he's saying it to her 12 yr vintage daughter. Gilbert stated that they have left messages on his gadget that he could not even play at the air. Gilbert said that he can genuinely disenchanted the babysitter, Barbara, by way of saying something quite tame. They simply hold getting on the telephone even after he says that stuff even though. Howard let Gilbert move and got again to Amy. He instructed Steve Grillo he should leave too due to the fact Amy wasn't going to hire him. He went directly to ask Amy about the movie Clueless and the way that every one took place. She told Howard that she wrote the film in order that she should get something made. She stated she needed to give you something truely happy so that is the movie she came up with. Howard instructed her that it changed into one of the funniest films available and he cannot accept as true with she got here up with it. He requested if she had something to do with the TV show. She stated she was involved the first year
however after that she became out. She said she clearly preferred Alicia Silverstone for the component. Howard asked her if she has a moustache. She stated it is just the shape of her mouth, it is no longer a moustache. Howard stated it in reality looked like she had one within the Batman movie she was in. Howard requested Amy how lengthy it takes to put in writing a film like Clueless. She stated it took about three months. She additionally talked about how she were given worried with ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High.'' Howard stated she must be sincerely proficient and he is very impressed with her. He asked her who she had the child with. She said it turned into a man who wrote ''Police Academy.'' Howard said that he's inspired with those strength couples which can be obtainable. Howard told Amy approximately the time Gilbert become within the health facility and the best visitors he had had been him and Robin. He stated no person inside the press picked up that he become inside the health center despite the fact that Gilbert was afraid they had been going to. After months of no press Gilbert asked him to say something on the air so maybe someone could take be aware. Howard said he despatched a few human beings like Dice and Belzer to move visit Gilbert but Belzer simply sat there and examine the paper even as he became there. Howard said Gilbert asked him to get a thermometer for him that read digitally. He puts on his ordinary voice when he makes calls like that so Howard become doing an affect of that. He said Gilbert were given all philosophical with him while he concept he was death. Howard stated he questioned what Gilbert turned into going to do if he left comedy after all of that. Howard said he had Kreskin at the smartphone however he wanted to position that off till tomorrow. Gary instructed him it become critical so Howard attempted to get him on the line. He wasn't having any good fortune at first but he ultimately got him on. Kreskin instructed Howard that he changed into calling from Resorts in Atlantic City and last night he lost some cash. He stated he had 30 bucks left and went and gained 21 hands in a row which changed into very uncommon. He had Security status subsequent to him while that turned into happening. Howard did not suppose that changed into earth shattering news like he was announcing it changed into. Gary stated Kreskin will call him and tell him information like that and it's just massive news for Kreskin. He said that Kreskin told him that it became going to make the headlines. Howard moved on and talked to Kreskin approximately this thing they are doing on Friday. Howard requested how many humans he desires. Kreskin wishes 30 or 40 human beings so he can choose from that organization. Howard said that might be satisfactory with him and stated he'd get them for him. Kreskin said he will pick out about a dozen from that organization and do his trick. Kreskin said that they're going to try to channel Sam Kinison but if they can not get him, some thing loopy will manifest. Howard allow Kreskin go and were given back to Amy. He stated he clearly failed to understand how right looking she became. He asked her what she's working on now. She said she's directing ''Night on the Roxbury'' however Howard did not get how they might make that into a whole movie. She stated it's surely a completely candy movie. Howard asked her if she's dating the short guy, Chris Kattan, from the film. She requested why he would ask that and that made Howard suppose that she turned into. He had pulled some thing out of the and got it right. She wouldn't talk about that with him however he swore that he didn't set that up. He swore at the lifestyles of his children that he failed to understand some thing, he simply guessed at it. Robin didn't consider him but he stored swearing on the lifestyles of his youngsters that he did simply guess. Howard said he needed to take a damage and became approximately to while Tom Chiusano got here in to remind him to take a ruin. Howard instructed him to get out and stated that he became going to do some other hour without a break just due to the fact he had are available in like that. He spent a few extra mins speaking to Amy about her movies after which talked to her friend Jay who become sitting inside the studio. He talked to him and discovered out he is been friends with Amy in view that college. He's by no means boned her although. Howard advised Amy she appears very unhappy, like most directors. He wondered if she was on her period these days or some thing. She laughed and said she wasn't on it but he concept she became mendacity approximately that. Howard had Amy's babysitter Barbara on the cellphone after that. She stated that she and Amy are on the identical agenda for his or her periods and she is aware of she's not on it right now. Howard became going to allow her pass however Gilbert became at the smartphone so he stored her on. Howard permit Barbara and Gilbert move at each other a bit bit because it become so funny. Gilbert stated he calls the house and asks Barbara to place the daughter on the smartphone and she'll positioned her proper on and then he's going to say that he desires to make an apology and she'll placed her again on. Then she'll ask him why he says such things as that to a 12 year vintage. Barbara turned into explaining herself however Gilbert become telling Howard about the matters he does to her to jerk her around. He turned into also doing an impression of her and goofing at the way she puts the 12 yr old proper lower back on the road whilst he asks her to. Howard stated this is the movie she has to make, Gilbert and Barbara doing their smartphone element. Howard let Gilbert keep going together with his Barbara impact. He continued to make amusing of her so Howard asked Barbara if it is authentic that she looks as if him. She stated she has his hair however it's it, she's been instructed she looks as if Grace Slick. Gilbert was going a touch too a ways together with his remarks so Amy asked him to prevent. Howard decided to wrap up with Gilbert at that point however then Barbara had greater to mention. He saved Gilbert on the phone and allow him goof on her accent even extra. Howard and the guys had been laughing as that turned into happening. Amy's buddy Jeff changed into giggling quite difficult as nicely. Howard told Amy that this became her largest nightmare. Howard let Gilbert and Barbara move and were given again to Amy. She pointed out how Bronson left her even as she changed into shooting a movie and he left the residence a multitude. He had gotten mad at her for a few motive and that is why he left. Howard spent a few minutes talking about that after which wrapped up and went to business. And Finally. 10/27/1997. 9:25am Howard got here lower back from spoil and pointed out how adorable Amy changed into. Robin said she located her very exciting too. Fred stated it was completely unexpected to look how adorable she become. Jackie became pronouncing that he notion she become horny but he changed into mumbling his strains. Howard said he does that once he puts on his attractive voice. Robin were given into her information after that. She mentioned John Denver's death and the way it is brought about his albums getting lower back into the pinnacle 10 album sales. Howard stated he must have killed himself two decades ago if it really is the case. He told Jackie to do the same and maybe he may want to sell some greater
information. He said it might be humorous if Jackie did that and didn't sell any albums. Howard had Robin get back to her news and had her end up a short time later. They ended the show round 10:10am (Master Tape Theatre time). Robin'. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos Adventure In Horseback Riding. 10/27/97. 6:25am Robin needed to be rescued from a horseback journey this weekend. She was out driving with a pal after they were given misplaced. They were best supposed to be out for approximately an hour but ended up on foot around in circles for every other 2 hours. They were in the end found with the aid of a seek celebration who heard Robin's chuckle through the woods. Someone with a megaphone called out to Robin and her buddy ''..Are you lost. '' once they heard Robin's extraordinary chuckle. Robin additionally said that her horse knew his manner again higher than she did. He genuinely went in a direction that Robin failed to want to head in. Way to go Blaze! New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman Calls In. 10/27/ninety seven. 7:20am Christie Whitman called in to talk to Howard for a couple of minutes this morning. Howard sponsored her inside the closing election and she received so she must be coming returned for his support once more. Howard thinks that she's doing a terrific job now so he is going to again her again. She said that she'll be coming at the display in man or woman sometime within the very near future. Woman With three Personalties Calls In. 10/27/ninety seven. 7:50am Jeannie Carpenter, writer of ''Naked As We Stand'', has three personalities and he or she wrote about them in her ebook. Howard spoke to her about her personalities at the same time as she was at the smartphone. She did not get into to a great deal element approximately the alternative 2 personalities due to the fact she does not recognise exactly what they do while she's now not around. She honestly failed to reveal some thing that tremendous during the interview. Maybe there may be more in her book. She said that the book can be ordered from Borders book shops. Steve Grillo At The VH-1 Fashion Awards. 10/27/ninety seven. Eight:45am I guess Stuttering John is laying low for a while in view that he gets kicked out of maximum everything he attends. Now Steve Grillo has been selected as the celebrity interviewer. His good fortune is not a good deal better than John's however he did get some interviews on the VH-1 Fashion Awards which were taped this beyond weekend. Grillo got interviews with Montel Williams, Dennis Hopper, Norm MacDonald, Michael Moore and Fiona Apple. The questions all regarded to be commonplace's that they used for each interview. Here are some of them: What the dilli yo? (a connection with Busta Rhymes look and tune) How long does it take to get your companion geared up for intercourse? Can you sing a little bit of your favourite John Denver song? Montel Williams failed to play alongside for long. He sort of ran away after Grillo requested about the intercourse associate factor. Dennis Hopper performed alongside just blurting out answers. Norm MacDonald just couldn't accept as true with that Grillo became asking the questions. He thought that he deserved a Stuttering John interview at least. He failed to even solution any of the questions. Michael Moore went proper into some John Denver songs while asked to sing his favourite and he didn't sound half of awful! Grillo requested Fiona Apple about one in all her films and she went off on considered one of her rambling speeches again similar to she did at the MTV Video Music Awards display. After all the interviews had been performed Howard had some tape of Grillo getting kicked out of the press room. People were chanting ''LET HIM STAY, LET HIM STAY'' however it turned out to be Doug from E! Who began the chant. Somehow all of the dialogue turned to Grillo's performing profession. He by hook or by crook were given a one line component in ''NYPD Blue''. Howard goofed on him approximately that for a bit while after which moved on to the Amy Heckerling interview. Director Amy Heckerling Comes In. 10/27/ninety seven. Nine:00am Amy Heckerling, director of such movies as ''Clueless'' and ''Fast Times At Ridgemont High'', got here in to hang around with Howard. Howard is a big fan of Amy's and he was kissing her ass like loopy this morning. If you heard the display last week while Gilbert Gottfried changed into on you can have heard a German girl yelling at him about making a laugh of the holocaust. That woman is Amy's baby sitter. Amy used to have Gilbert over to her house for dinner and that's how Gilbert met the child sitter. Well Howard had Gilbert on the phone again nowadays because he heard that Gilbert requested Amy's 12 year antique daughter if she become developing hair wherein the sun don't shine. Amy's interview finally become Gilbert and the toddler sitter yelling at every other all over again. Howard turned into laughing at Gilbert like loopy. Gilbert changed into doing his impact of the child sitter's accessory and Howard became in stitches. Eventually Howard got faraway from the Gilbert conversation and returned to Amy. He found out that she used thus far Bronson Pinchot however they recently broke up. Now she's directing ''Night At The Roxbury''. It's based on the Saturday Night Live cartoon with the three men who visit all of the golf equipment and soar their heads like morons. Howard said that he'd never assume that a movie like that would be excellent but Amy is directing it so it need to be precise. Howard also observed out that Amy can be courting Chris Katan from Saturday Night Live. He just came up with the question out of nowhere and Amy did not say no to it. Howard was amazed by his psychic competencies if you need to name it that. -- Friday October 24, 1997 (Replayed on Master Tape Theatre Marathon, Friday, November 23, 2012) -- Howard Receives Replica Penis From ''Boogie Nights''. 10/24/97. 6:40am The guys who designed the prosthetic penis that Mark Wahlberg wears inside the film ''Boogie Nights'' came in to give Howard with a replica. The movie deals with grownup movies in the 1970's and Wahlberg performs a individual with a huge penis. The guys from KNB Effects Group produced a state-of-the-art prosthetic from the equal mildew used for the movie. They supplied it to Howard this morning. Howard took it and stuck it in his pants to look what it'd be like to have a massive penis. He felt proud. He changed into searching in a mirror and stated that he changed into now status erect. No greater hunching over. He was proud. He stated that if he was without a doubt that large he'd do the show with it putting out. Ed Asner On The Phone. 10/24/ninety seven. 7:05am A few years in the past Howard talked to Ed Asner approximately a guy on demise row. Ed and some other celebrities had been trying to store the fellow from the death penalty for some motive. Today Howard talked to Mr. Asner because the fellow he became looking to save changed into killed through lethal injection this week. Howard form of desired to rub it in. Mr. Asner appears to assume that Howard is evil because he believes in the dying penalty. They spoke for a little whilst approximately the whole lot however there are such a lot of information about the case that it is hard to keep song. Jenny McCarthy Comes In. 10/24/97. 7:25am The beautiful yet, demanding as hell Jenny McCarthy got here on this morning to plug her e-book ''Jen-X'' that's in
stores now. Jenny has avoided Howard's display in the past because she turned into afraid that her mother would find out approximately her breast implants. In the imply time her mom determined out due to the fact she's not as dumb as Jenny thought. Jenny become co-host of ''Singled Out'' on MTV for some seasons before getting her very own show on NBC this season. And before all of that she was a Playboy Playmate. She seemed to be a bit bit toned down this morning. She wasn't pretty as stressful as she generally is. Howard spent approximately half-hour or so together with her talking about the whole thing from her rest room behavior to what number of intercourse partners she's had. She turned out to be a better visitor than I notion she would. She failed to hesitate to talk about anything that Howard asked her. Jenny additionally has a sister who is a big fan of Howard's. That sister, Lynette, known as in because Jenny turned into purported to bring her to fulfill Howard. Jenny said she has been doing so much that she didn't suppose it changed into an amazing time for her to are available. Lynette also has breast implants by using the manner. Howard filled a hell of loads into the 30 minute phase. It was overwhelming. Jenny's manager is also her boyfriend. He's 49 years old, she's 24. Howard talked to him for a bit bit additionally. Most of the stuff they pointed out is in the ''Jen-X'' e book. The Mike Walker Game. 10/24/ninety seven. 8:15am No time wasted these days, they were given right to the sport considering there was a lot going on on the display. Here are the four tales, one among that is fake. John Travolta has been disillusioned these days because he almost offered an aircraft just like the one John Denver became flying whilst he crashed and died. A girl who locked her keys in her vehicle one night become helped out through a person in a baseball cap. The man broke into her car with the oil dipstick. The woman failed to realize who it become till she got in her vehicle and the light shined on his face. It grew to become out to be Kevin Costner. Comedian Drew Carey became heckled with the aid of a few man at a comedy membership. The guy turned into kicked out but waited for Carey out of doors. They got in a fight however whilst Drew tackled him to the ground the guy stated he was simply disillusioned because he turned into having marital problems. Drew, the pleasant guy that he's, drove the fellow home. David Hasslehoff from ''Baywatch'', who is a massive tune famous person in Germany, desires to get his singing career going within the U.S. So he wishes his man or woman to start singing in nightclubs on the show. The other producers of the show say no way. Stuttering John changed into playing nowadays and he chose quantity 2 as the fake story, Jackie also chose variety 2, Robin chose four and Howard picked #1. The actual fake story changed into range 2. Tommy Lee On The Phone. 10/24/97. 8:40am Howard talked to Tommy Lee approximately the house video he currently watched. Howard changed into amazed by way of the stolen tape of Tommy Lee and his wife Pamela Lee. The tape turned into stolen from Pam and Tommy's home no longer too long in the past and now it is made it's manner directly to the web. The tape turned into home video shot with the aid of Tommy and Pam even as doing things together together with having intercourse. Tommy has a large penis and Howard could be very inspired with the dimensions of it. Today he known as it ''The eighth wonder of the world''. Howard spent 25 minutes speaking to Tommy approximately the tape and the way interesting it was. Howard thinks that it's wrong to thieve some thing so personal however he couldn't stop looking it. He even told Tommy that he showed it to a couple of fellows closing night. Tommy said that he could not communicate a whole lot about who stole it or what's being accomplished about it but he's were given a few humans running on it. Tommy is out travelling with Motley Crue proper now. Pamela could be at the display next week. Mark Harris Comes In. 10/24/ninety seven. Nine:20am The always worrying Mark Harris and his ex-boyfriend David from Germany got here in this morning. They had been alleged to carry out a number of their horrible song at the show however they lost a cassette tape or some crap like that. David is a violinist that Mark had a short dating with some months ago. They're not doing that anymore and David says that he is now not gay and he's no longer bi-sexual although he did do matters to Mark after they met. They stated that they sleep inside the equal mattress even now but they do not do something to each different. These can be again on November eleven to perform their terrible music so I may not waste any more area writing approximately it nowadays. -- Thursday October 23, 1997 -- Steve Grillo Interviews Alec Stanley Baldwin. 10/23/97. 6:20am Howard played tape of an interview Steve Grillo did with actor Alec Stanley Baldwin. Alec would not solution any of the questions. He simply advised Steve that he might make noises to reply. Grillo asked him things like: Should Princess Diana have punched out the paparazzi like you did? How do you avoid your brother Steve? Howard has a hassle he desires to recognise how can Howard avoid Steven? Alec simply gave fake laughs for solutions till the only approximately Howard heading off Steven when it gave the impression of he virtually laughed. I'm sorry if the questions are not to the phrase however I didn't get them on tape. I'm running off my terrible reminiscence. Author Dr. David Leiberman On The Phone. 10/23/97. 7:15am Dr. David Leiberman, author of ''Instant Analysis'' known as in to talk approximately his e-book. The ebook appears at things like why people stare at themselves within the mirror, why they come early to appointments, why they misplace keys and crap like that. The book regarded to focus on numerous issues that Howard has. He became fascinated to hear why he did some of this stuff. At one factor within the communication a man called in and stated that Dr. Leiberman is a fraud. He appeared very disillusioned with the Dr. And instructed Howard that he stole the thoughts for his e book from his twin brother. Dr. Leiberman denied all the guys claims even though. The ebook is available in bookstores anywhere. Guy Who Will Kill His Step-Father For A Private Parts Package. 10/23/ninety seven. 7:45am Some guy called in and said that he'd be inclined to kill his Baptist Minister step-father for a Private Parts Prize package. He stated that his step-father has been getting his church to signal a petition to get Howard thrown off the air. He's not too satisfied with that so he stated he'd bump him off if Howard could provide him a Private Parts Prize package deal. Howard doesn't condone violence so he talked the man out of doing it but gave him another concept. He instructed him to just make a idiot out of the guy in front of his church. The man on the telephone said that his step-father beats him additionally. Howard instructed him to inform the humans of the church that little reality to make a fool out of him. Maybe he will end up killing him anyway. Sternac The Improbable. 10/23/97. Eight:10am Howard did his excellent Johnny Carson impact by doing Sternac The Improbable this morning. Al Rosenberg came in to play the part of Ed McMahon. Sternac gives the answer first then opens an envelope to show the query. Here they are: Potholes - What changed into Howard Sterns
puppy call for girls he banged in university by means of getting them excessive? A pound of flesh - What did they find in Marv Albert's enamel? Wives, wives and other halves - Give three motives the howard stern display goes to scores. Make room for daddy - What did one in every of Robin Quivers thighs say to the other? World extensive net - What might a spider need to make to cover Oprah's ass? Denver, Colorado - Name an un-neglected folk singer and an unimportant state. KKK Mart Where will Stuttering John paintings after Howard Stern fires him? Meals on wheels - What do cannibals call christopher reeve? Passed the greenback - What did Rosie O'Donnell do an hour after consuming a whole deer? Seven Days In Tibet What might appear shorter than a five minute discussion with Fred Norris? Celebrity Interviews From California. 10/23/ninety seven. Eight:45am Some guy out in California by using the call of Gary went out and got some interviews for Howard. He interviewed Bill Mahr, Damon Wayans and Brian of the Mark and Brian radio display. Here's what he asked Bill Mahr: How are your ratings? - ''Fine'' Have you ever dated a prostitute? - ''According to The Star'' Were you in an auto accident? - ''No'' Who hit you with an unpleasant stick? - ''No solution'' Ouch! That final one hurt. Next up became Damon Wayans: Do you sleep with white women? - ''No'' Would you as an alternative be gay or sleep with Whoopi Goldberg? - ''..What are you doing tonight?'' he said to Gary What do you think of Howard Stern? - ''He's an unpleasant asshole who's humorous at being an asshole.'' The final interview become with Brian from the Mark and Brian show which used to compete with Howard within the Los Angeles rankings. They're in reality now not opposition anymore. Gary asked one question: ''Who's the pitcher and who is the catcher?'' but Brian didn't want to reply. He has a totally feminine voice. He said ''..Go away me by myself..'' when Gary kept after him. Howard goofed on his voice for a touch bit. Goofing On Jenny McCarthy. 10/23/ninety seven. Nine:00am Jenny McCarthy is coming in day after today but Howard has been goofing on her for pretty some time. Jenny is a virtually excellent searching blonde who was in Playboy and co-hosted MTV's ''Singled Out'' for more than one seasons. Now she has a display on NBC. Howard pulled a few audio clips from her Playboy video to play this week. Today he performed some and ended up goofing on her dopey answers. It still remains to be seen whether she'll show up the next day. -- Wednesday October 22, 1997 (As replayed on Master Tape Theatre - Sunday, January eleven, 2009 and Sunday, December 27, 2009)-Master Tape Theatre - October 22, 1997. 01/eleven/09. 3:00 pm Today's Master Tape Theatre replay turned into from October 22, 1997. This begins a new season of MTT, I'm Michael I'll be protecting it for you once more this yr. This show changed into not completely included in Mark's data, so I did a full write up. (Mark's authentic write up is beneath this one.) Show starting bits consist of Sugar Ray's cowl of Psychedelic Bee, and a Letterman intro from Howard's appearance simply after Private Parts became launched. Howard's Cold, Canadian Government Upset, World Series Discussions. 10/22/97. Three:00 pm Howard began off the display complaining approximately the cold, he stated that Sam Kinison might be calling in ''live from hell'', Gilbert Gottfried could be in, and also breast checks might take vicinity. Howard stated he had a lot of bits these days and that he wanted to get to them in a well timed style. He stated he had a whole lot of stuff lying around. Robin noted that she was looking baseball past due into the night remaining night time. Howard was surprised at her loss of sleep. Howard needed to cross to break after that. Howard then played the bumper with a gaggle of gospel singers making a song about him. Howard were given to Greg on the smartphone. Greg stated that on Canada there's predominant dialogue taking place about pulling the Stern show off the air. Howard turned into having issues with the equipment within the studio. Howard stated the CRTC (Canadian FCC) became irritated with him for announcing he would not like ''French stuff.'' He said there may be already indication they're the number one show in Canada. He said a piece of writing from Canada lists him as getting the best grievance depend in history. The article went on to mention that the Canadian authorities is asking like it'll no longer regulate the Howard Stern show. Howard then played a track parody of Randy Newman's Short People making fun of French humans. He stated it wasn't very funny, but it simply goes to show you the way an awful lot time a few people have on their arms. The track wasn't very humorous, but Jackie become having a outstanding time in the again. Howard moved directly to talking approximately the World Series and the way the scores are low. He said that he's interested by it and he is now not honestly a big baseball guy. Gary said he turned into up overdue looking it and it turned into simplest at the 4th inning by using 10:30 EST. They discussed the effects of the game for a couple of minutes, Florida ended up triumphing the game the previous night time. Gary continued to vent about how late the video games pass. Howard pointed out how there is nothing really worth staying up late for and that it is a whole lot better to simply get some sleep. Callers Want Group Sex. 10/22/ninety seven. 3:20 pm Howard moved on to the telephones, there has been a female on who wants organization intercourse with a couple of ladies and multiple men. The girl went on describing herself after which her friend got on the smartphone to explain herself. Howard requested who they looked like however they wouldn't say. Howard asked them to kiss every other. He stated that he'd orgy with them but they said they desired Fred. Howard located it hard to accept as true with they can not discover guys if they may be as accurate looking as they are saying. A man known as in and claimed he desired to orgy with them. The girls appeared interested, and then the fellow offered to carry his buddy. The girl on the smartphone stated no guys she knows need to get collectively with each different. Howard stated they ought to invite men over to observe the game after which begin the orgy. Howard requested if they seemed like Laverne and Shirley, but they claimed that one looked like Jodie Foster. Howard asked them to kiss each other right then and there. Then he requested them what they have been sporting. The women claimed to kiss but Howard failed to buy it and had them pass for greater. He convinced them to try it. The girls then requested approximately sex toys to apply on guys and Howard told them to attempt a butt plug. He hung up with them a brief time later. Howard then went on to inform a tale approximately a lady he used to have intercourse with 5 instances an afternoon that stated she changed into an actress. Howard stated they did the whole thing to each other, even having sex within the bath. He stated in the future this different lady came over that he had had sex with months previous to the 5 times an afternoon female and a whole bunch of people were in the house. People began making out and Howard's lady friend took her pinnacle off and an orgy nearly ensued, however Howard didn't want that in any respect so he said ''neglect it.'' Howard said afterward he determined out this female was relationship a man with a significant
penis and she or he won't speak to him anymore. Howard had to pass to interrupt quickly after that. Naked Photos of Celebrities, Debbie Gibson Refuses To Perform Howard's Songs. 10/22/ninety seven. 3:50 pm Howard stated he likes High Society magazine because they've balls printing naked snap shots of celebrities like Pam Anderson, Elle McPhereson, Liz Hurley, Cindy Crawford, and Sharon Stone. Howard stated they're clearly, absolutely courageous for printing upskirt photos of the past due Princess Diana.(She had handiest been lifeless approximately 2 weeks at the time of this display). Jackie should slightly breathe he changed into enjoying the photographs so much. Howard said they've terrific pictures of Farrah Fawcett. Howard said that they had been alleged to have Debbie Gibson on, he wrote a few songs for her to sing due to the fact that she desires to exchange her image. Howard stated he wrote one known as ''Hail To Satan''. Debbie refused to do the songs. Howard said she wanted to carry out her own ''wild tune'' but it changed into horribly non-wild. Howard said he despatched her his own wild music for her to sing. It changed into a parody of Elton John's 'Candle In the Wind' approximately the use of a candle to delight yourself. He played the tune and it were given large laughs. Howard couldn't agree with she did not need to do the music. Howard then started speaking approximately how people are cruelly clubbing seals in Canada once more. Howard said any man who should club a domestic dog is a ''actual man.'' Howard turned into giggling about Asians who use seal penis as an aphrodisiac. Howard Plays With The New Rosie O'Donnell Doll, Takes Some Calls. 10/22/97. Four:00 pm Howard had the brand new Rosie O'Donnell doll and he become playing clips from it and guffawing at them. It had phrases such as ''Help, my fat ass is stuck in the toilet,'' and ''If I do not get bacon I'll kill someone.'' Everyone had a good time with that. Howard stated they'd breast assessments coming up. Howard were given returned to speaking approximately the seals for a touch bit. Increase Size Of Pennis Tattoos There become a caller who wanted to speak about an advertiser who was gifting away breast implants or something. Neither Howard nor the lady knew exactly what it turned into. Howard performed a clip of a person talking approximately breast enhancement and expansion. Some man was at the phone performing like he knew where Howard lived and announcing that courtesy flushing was awful for you. The man stated that he knows Howard lives next door to a ''junkyard king.'' Howard stated the fellow didn't recognise what he changed into speaking approximately and hung up on him. Another guy on the cellphone said that his penis is smaller than Howard's. Howard stated he'll beat him and he's certain of it. Another caller said that the French Canadians are nuts. Howard said he had lots to speak about inclusive of those black speak suggests on at night time now. Howard wondered in which he ought to discover a few seal penis. He stated they hired Sinbad to take over this Vibe show. Robin said Sinbad lied to them while he become on, telling them he'd by no means do a speak show. Howard said he is a funny guy and at the least he can do a monologue. Robin stated Vibe is impossible to observe. Howard went to interrupt after that. Breast Examinations. 10/22/ninety seven. 4:25 pm They came lower back from damage and had the girls there for the breast exams are available in. One woman said she is an ''H cup''. She said she has to put on two bras when she does aerobics. She explained the procedure, she puts on a smaller bra and then a bigger one on pinnacle of it. She stated they're absolutely natural. Howard stated she's no longer a heavy lady however she will be unsuitable for one. Howard went to the alternative girl and she said she's an ''E''. Howard could not determine who to take a look at first. Howard went to the H cup woman first. Jackie said they may be larger than footballs. Howard had Gary come over to assist him have a look at. Howard and Gary endured to massage after which eventually moved on to the subsequent lady. Howard desired Robin to come back over and experience the breasts but she wasn't involved. The first lady stated lets her husband have intercourse with some other girl and informed her tale. She stated she's been wither her husband 7 years and has children with him. She stated she's high-quality with letting him have sex with any other woman so long as he has sex together with her first. She said it changed into a hygiene problem. Sam Kinison Calls In From Hell. 10/22/97. Four:50 pm They came again from smash with a clip of Crazy Alice fighting with a person on the telephone. Howard had ''Sam Kinison'' at the cellphone. The role of Kinison changed into played with the aid of Craig Gass. He talked to the Kinison impressionist for a touch bit and made some jokes approximately lately lifeless humans like Versace and Princess Di. The call did not last very long. Howard started out discussing Ann Rice's principle about how very few souls ever get to heaven, and that Satan created hell as a place for souls to move. She claims that hell is simply a place of misplaced souls and no longer certainly fire and brimstone. Various News Stories and Callers. 10/22/97. Five:00 pm Howard discussed a few memories at the top of the news including the tribute to Princess Diana with Peter Gabriel. He said they must be having a tribute for Peter rather. Howard pulled the string at the Rosie doll a few extra times. Then he had a girl on the cellphone who wanted to try lesbianism for her husband. She desired advice on luring women. Howard informed her to go to a strip club with her husband and pick out a stripper. The female didn't appear captivated with that concept. One guy became at the cellphone and he said he and his friend caught chlymidia from chicks after pretending to be the Jesus Twins at a nearby bar. The subsequent caller had her radio up. Howard kept telling her to show her radio all the way up. She had it on within the heritage while he picked up on her. Howard changed into surely enjoying messing together with her. She saved turning it up like a dope. She said she had an affair and desires to realize if she's going to hell. Howard just about got her to confess that the guy she cheated on her husband with changed into higher than her husband. Howard talked along with her a little whilst approximately having affairs. A man called in and said he turned into black, Howard goofed on him for a few minutes before announcing they had to pass to interrupt. Howard took a few more calls first even though, a lady asking about Tom. Howard made a laugh of Tom announcing he wasn't that bright, and some lady stated maybe Tom changed into having sex along with his golf clubs. The remaining caller attempted to do a comic story however failed. Howard went to interrupt after that. Playboy Video Clips. 10/22/ninety seven. 5:20 pm When they came lower back from damage, Howard performed a clip of a Playboy video. He said that it became awful pornography and it grew to become him off. He stated they've them doing all varieties of stuff like capturing bullseye's while using horses. It's not very porn-like. The subsequent clip had a girl giving her sob story approximately how difficult her parents labored and her complete lifestyles, within the subsequent scene she changed into dancing around nude. Howard and Jackie goofed on her
for a few minutes. The subsequent woman changed into talking with a Chicago accessory and Fred performed the ''SHUT UP!'' sound impact over her. Gilbert Gottfried Comes In. 10/22/ninety seven. Five:25 pm Howard stated he had Gilbert coming in. Robin said she noticed him at a unfastened film premiere. Howard said that there has been no label on Gilbert's water because E! Desired to experience like a real network. Gary stated that Gilbert ripped it off. Gilbert said he changed into selecting at it. Robin stated it was awkward seeing Gilbert out in public. She stated they were a row far from every other. Howard stated his worst nightmare is making an attempt to loosen up and then seeing Gilbert. Gilbert stated Robin turned into watching the display the complete time, even half an hour before the film began. The lighting fixtures were up and he or she turned into ignoring him. Howard stated Gilbert is going to all the events at no cost food. Howard said that Gilbert shows up 2 hours early for the free food and a threat to meet ladies. Howard stated Gilbert's plate is constantly loaded, he goes returned several instances and brings a doggy bag. Jackie said Gilbert was on a TV display with him known as ''The Watcher'' that was a real bomb. They allow the actors go to the front of the road to get steaks. Gilbert and Jackie got to reduce to the the front and there have been dozens of people out there ready, and Gilbert got two, slowing down the system even more. He stated he ended up not even eating the second. Howard had a lady at the phone who stated she met Gilbert in a restaurant and he tried to select her up. She said Gilbert's older than her and agreed he is not hot. Gilbert stated he looks as if Goldfinger as opposed to Sean Connery. They stated Gilbert is 150% Jewish. The female on the phone said he offered her unfastened tickets to his live performance for her range. She gave him her variety and he known as asking if she desired to meet him. She lied and informed him she turned into on the opposite line and asked if she may want to have his number. He said he'd name her lower back and Gilbert failed to prevent. She had to have her roommate answer and lie for her. Then her brother referred to as her doing a Gilbert impact. She stated that Melrose Larry Green and Ratso Sloman wouldn't stop calling her both. Howard stated that Melrose and Larry speak to each other and Melrose has cash. So Melrose takes Larry to dinner and Larry tells Gilbert there's loose dinner. The two of them hook up and take Melrose's dinner. Gange and Gary got here in to enroll in in at the a laugh, bashing Gilbert a few more. Some woman provided to take Gilbert out to lunch and he called her back continuously asking her while it might be due to the fact he desired sex. That girl that announces she's Gilbert's daughter referred to as in. She wasn't making sense and she or he became difficult to listen. Gilbert stated the girl's been calling his agent, the TV indicates, the papers. Next on the phone turned into the Holocaust female again. She's still disillusioned with Gilbert for making a laugh of the Holocaust. She made amusing of him and attacked him. She instructed him she wishes he'd commit suicide. Gilbert kept going with the Holocaust jokes and the female were given dissatisfied. She said that God is punishing Gilbert because he receives no paintings. They persevered to combat for a couple of minutes. She said given the choice among Gilbert and a Nazi she'd pick out a Nazi. Gilbert asked her if she'd instead sleep with him or pressure with Princess Di. She wasn't gonna answer that though. The female stated she talked to Henry Winkler approximately her mother and father. Gilbert requested if he gave her the thumbs up and stated,''Eeeeeh!'' Gilbert requested if she told it to Laverne and Shirley too. Gilbert advised her to yell,''HOGAAAAAAN!'' he kept making Holocaust jokes and were given the lady indignant. That endured for approximately 15 minutes after which she hung up. It failed to stop there even though. The next man on the cellphone stated Gilbert attempted to choose up his spouse. ANOTHER man referred to as in and stated Gilbert attempted to bang his mother in excessive college. That guy turned out to be a fake. The last guy stated Gilbert picked up his personal tip. That one they had the toughest time believing. Grillo came in and said his buddy dated Gilbert for some time and Gilbert stated she become truly warm, however it changed into a flip off that she'd banged Grillo. More With Gilbert and Ratso. 10/22/97. 6:20 pm Larry Ratso Sloman became on the telephone. Howard said that Larry sold a house for loads of cash even though it wasn't a precious residence. Gilbert stated that he become at a party with Ratso. There was a touch female without tooth consuming closely. Gilbert became screaming at the birthday celebration. Larry said he is never seen Gilbert buy a beer however he attempted a prank on him. He informed him he had no money for the cab once they got out and Gilbert turned white. Then he took out crumpled up dollar bills from his pocket. There became a man at the smartphone that stated he turned into stay at the scene of a shoot out with police, it turns out he wasn't though. Robin's News With Gilbert. 10/22/ninety seven. 6:35 pm Robin commenced off her information, Gilbert turned into still goofing round approximately Ratso. Her first tale changed into about incestuous siblings that lost custody of their infant. The subsequent tale was approximately the World Series. Howard requested Gilbert if he watches baseball. He stated ''no.'' He couldn't even call a player or what number of men are on a team. Gilbert was making a laugh of himself for a few minutes then he went into ''Who's On First''. Robin stated she'd want to get out of their someday these days, but Gilbert became going to make certain that did now not manifest. Robin attempted to maintain her news but Gilbert saved making amusing of Ratso. Gilbert became playing himself. Robin's subsequent story turned into about a girl losing custody of her children due to the fact she's addicted to the net. Court facts say she spends all her time locked in a room with a laptop, faraway from her children. The youngsters can be given to the father. Howard said there are people within the chat rooms all day and night time. Robin tried to continue with the news over again, and Gilbert were given into his impressions. He did Dracula Gottfried and had anyone cracking up inside the studio. Robin's subsequent story turned into approximately girls who wrote a song approximately homosexuality referred to as, ''Not Natural''. Robin said they will sing it in Philly on the ''Million Woman March''. Then she had a tale approximately Stevie Wonder singing at the funeral of his favored motive force. Gilbert did Dracula Gottfried for a couple of minutes making fun of that. The next tale became approximately Dennis Rodman soliciting for extra money from the Chicago Bulls. Howard asked Gilbert if he is ever completed Vibe with Keenan Ivory Wayans. He stated it's the only black display he hasn't carried out. Gilbert began doing his Carson affect and making amusing of Keenan. Her final memories had been about Bill Cosby getting a brand new show on CBS. Gilbert did his Bill Cosby affect for a couple of minutes. The next was about Johnny Rotten triumphing his court case. The final become approximately Roman Polanski seeking to get lower back within the united states. They finished up a brief time later. -- Wednesday October 22,
1997 (Mark's unique write up) -- Two Breast Cancer Examinations. 10/22/ninety seven. 7:50am Howard got to put his hands on four more breasts these days. Two girls confirmed up these days to have Howard deliver them breast cancer checks. One lady became 4'8'' tall with H-Cup breasts! The different become 5'10'' with E-Cup's! Howard had greater than a handful nowadays. Everyone within the studio changed into surprised via the H-cups. Sarah, the H-cup, said that her breasts are herbal, now not implants just like the different woman's. Kim, the E-cup, used to have C-cups until she were given implants to blow them up to E. Kim is a stripper. Sarah became first up to have her breasts tested. Howard said ''They're improbable!'' when she took off her shirt. Jackie turned into surprised simply by way of the size of her bra. It become big. They stated it appeared like two football helmets. Howard changed into having a hell of a time inspecting Sarah so Gary were given in at the a laugh. Sarah said that she did not thoughts having Gary assist. Howard stored locating lumps in her breasts but there's so much there that it probably wasn't most cancers. Kim changed into up next and Howard stated she had surely excellent implants. He needed to deliver her a special exam given that she has implants. Kim advised him that he had to kind of ''pop up'' her implant that allows you to sense around the whole breast. After analyzing Kim Howard asked Robin to come over and experience the breasts. Robin refused to do it. Sam Kinison Calls In From Hell. 10/22/ninety seven. Eight:30am Every from time to time a phone line falls at the grave of the overdue comedian Sam Kinison so he's in a position to name the show. If you don't trust that then a comic who does an excellent affect of Sam calls in as Sam Kinison From Hell. Sam called in and talked a touch bit approximately Lady Di and Gianni Versace being down there in Hell. He stated that once Versace arrived in hell the best factor he said become ''Look what this guy did to my healthy!''. Sam failed to need to speak an excessive amount of about the demise of Lady Diana however he did stated that Dodi Fayed has cheated on Diana with three of Sam's ex-girlfriends. He also stated that there is one true issue to come out of the loss of life of Lady Di. He stated that he has ''. One kick ass limo motive force..''. Sam's connection changed into misplaced soon after that. The voice of Sam Kinison from Hell is played with the aid of comic Craig Gass from Seattle. Gilbert Gottfried Comes In. 10/22/ninety seven. Nine:20am Comedian Gilbert Gottfried got here in to hang out in the course of the information. As regular when Gilbert is available in there had been heaps of poor telephone calls coming in. Howard ought to have taken eight or 10 calls from human beings who've either dated Gilbert or have visible him doing some thing odd. One female who referred to as in the ultimate time Gilbert became on known as in once more these days. She become at the telephone yelling at Gilbert for about 25 minutes or so. Gilbert had made a few jokes about the holocaust while she drove him to some party. She simply finds him horrible and unfunny so Howard let her vent on him nowadays. Gilbert simply maintains making fun and laughing via the entirety. Another female who known as within the remaining time Gilbert turned into on known as in these days. She claims to be Gilbert's daughter. She's 30 years antique and Gilbert is in his mid forty's or so. He would had been approximately 15 or so when she become born however she said that he is the father. She even said that she lived with him while she became 7 years old. Gilbert stated that she's been calling his agent or even the USA Network where he works. She's like a stalker or some thing. Gilbert is first rate when he is available in. He continues everyone guffawing through the whole information phase. He just makes stupid comments and does his Dracula impression. He did not disappoint today. It was constant laughs during the whole information segment. -- Tuesday October 21, 1997 -- 15 Year Old Caller Who Can Fart By Pounding His Ass. 10/21/ninety seven. 6:35am A 15 12 months vintage child known as in and stated that he ought to fart with the aid of pounding on his butt. He established his talent on the smartphone for Howard and it labored. Stuttering John stated that the kid informed him that he can select up girls with this uncommon talent. Howard stated that he wishes that he may want to fart on command so he wanted to strive out the technique. What the child is without a doubt doing is pounding air into his butt along with his hand. He receives down on his knees and elbows and pounds the air in. Howard gave it a strive but wasn't a hit. He attempted it a few times however it simply didn't work for him. Howard needs the child to return down to the studio but he lives in Michigan. Hearing Howard attempting this become certainly funny. Hopefully it will make it to E!. Katarina The Swedish Broadcaster. 10/21/97. 8:00am 28 yr vintage Katarina, a Swedish broadcaster, came in to meet Howard this morning. She's within the States on vacation and he or she heard about Howard's film so she came in. She became surely right searching in step with Howard. Howard determined to have a touch amusing with her so he brought in Steve the Engineer (a.K.A. ''Wood Yi'') to play the function of Michael Jordan of CBS broadcasting. ''Wood Yi'' played the element properly. Jackie should had been feeding him his traces while he turned into status there because he positive as hell wasn't rehearsed. He might ask Katarina to do such things as take a seat on his hand or inform her to ''F-Off''. It became very wonderful. Salt & Pepa Come In. 10/21/ninety seven. Eight:35am Female rappers Salt & Pepa got here in to plug their new album ''Brand New''. Their DJ Spindarella was additionally there. Howard has had a fascination with Pepa for pretty a while now. He's often said that he'd want to ''bang'' her after seeing her in a number of their motion pictures. It turns out that Salt has end up a very non secular man or woman and he or she'd like to start doing ''inspirational'' information in preference to rap information. I'm sorry, she says that she's no longer religious but she has ''..A private courting with God..''. Spindarella said that once she retires she's going to become a Masseuse. Howard could not consider what he became hearing. He become wondering why a good looking, famous rapper could need to go into a job like that. She just enjoys doing it so she'll make it her profession. Howard performed a few seconds of their new unmarried ''Are You Ready'' and took more than one cellphone calls earlier than ending the interview. Salt's sister known as her on her mobile phone to tell her to lighten up simply before they left. It was a bit too late however at least she attempted. Other Happenings On The Show. (Contributed By Don From Michigan) 10/21/97. Nine:30am Fred Norris needed to depart the show early for some filming of the film "LuLu (not positive of spelling) On The Bridge" wherein he is performing. Howard then went directly to take cellphone calls from listeners. Topics mentioned blanketed: Howard's frustration with a few interpretations of Canada's Hate Speech Laws. The irony of KEGL-FM "The Eagle" in Dallas being offered by Nationwide Insurance after canceling his show at some stage in the short duration in which they owned it. Howard's plans to sue for racketeering the character whose name appears on the letter being circulated
by means of the American Family association. He objects to their letters to clients of his radio affiliates encouraging them to withhold their advertising business. Maria Returns. 10/20/97. 7:05am The nutty woman who referred to as in at some stage in the news final Friday turned into at the cellphone once more nowadays. She became simply as wacky as final week. She nonetheless thinks that Robert Redford and Robert Urich are out to kill her. This time her husband changed into home so Howard got the hazard to speak to him. But earlier than that Howard had Fred call in as Robert Redford to attempt to straighten the female out. No good fortune there. The husband talked about her a little bit. He discovered that they've four daughters and that they've been married for 35 years. He said that the dilutions commenced approximately 29 years in the past! He still sticks together with her although. He stated that she turned into pretty accurate looking when they got married and they've each been devoted to each different so he sticks along with her. Howard invited her to come back down to the station so we should be hearing from her within the near future. Howard instructed Maria that they had have Robert Redford down to satisfy her.. He later stated that perhaps they had placed a paper bag over Fred's head and make contact with him Robert Redford. David Lee Roth Comes In. 10/20/ninety seven. 7:35am Former Van Halen lead singer David Lee Roth came in to plug his new e book ''Crazy From The Heat'' nowadays. He and Howard pointed out a gaggle of various subjects from the e book. Here are some examples:Dave as soon as had 5 women in a room having sex, Dave got here up with the name for the band, he used to get on his hands and knees to scrub the degree, he hasn't slept with numerous famous human beings, he used to pay his roadies to pick out out correct looking girls for him to meet, his track ''Just Like Paradise'' was almost the subject tune for ''Beverly Hills 90210''. Howard additionally took some phone requires Dave. One guy requested Dave if he'd work with the Van Halen boys once more inside the future. He stated that he could however it'd be below greater managed situations. Dave also has a best hits album out with a new unmarried called ''Don't Piss Me Off''. The Billboard Awards Nightmare. 10/20/ninety seven. 8:40am Howard turned into nominated for a few Billboard Award for high-quality syndicated communicate display host or some thing like that. He got an invitation however did not need to move. The plan was to send Hank the drunk dwarf down to accept simply in case Howard won. Well it didn't happen that way. Mike Gange and Doug from E! Went all the way down to Orlando Florida to movie the awards. Hank was speculated to fly down Friday night from Boston. Hank confirmed up on the airport so drunk that they would not permit him on the plane. Then he lost his price tag so Gange had to buy him any other. To make an extended story a little shorter, Hank by no means made it down to Orlando. Gange and Doug needed to find a substitute. They located a Hawaiian Tropic model who would cross up and display her breasts in front of the gang if Howard were to win. They had a pleasant speech for her to read. Well Howard won the award so Cheryl the model went up to get the award but she failed to study her speech. She simply stated some thing like ''Howard Rules'' and ran off. The some big fat man got up on stage in his undies and started out yelling all forms of crap. Howard could barely pay attention what became at the tape because of a few trouble with the tape player these days. He had each Hank and Cheryl on the smartphone at some stage in maximum of this. After the large fats guy started out his yelling crap Cheryl made her manner lower back to the level and study her speech and showed her breasts. It became all one massive mess. Discussion About Breeding Animals. 10/20/ninety seven. Nine:45am It all began with one phone call. A man wanted to inform Howard approximately how he had his dog's sperm frozen so he should use it within the destiny to reproduce dogs. That wasn't the ordinary component though. It changed into the way that the veterinarian receives the sperm. They should ''manipulate'' the dog's wiener and collect sperm much like a human could do. The guy stated it changed into pretty unusual to peer it going on. That cellphone call led to others about human beings who have accumulated sperm from such animals as pigs, cows, horses and even whales! Each one has a exceptional technique for amassing the little fellows. The man with the pig tale stated that they insert some kind of electric rod into the pigs ass and surprise him into donating his gift. There sure is a few wacky crap happening available. Another Breast Cancer Exam. 10/20/97. Nine:55am Howard did a quick breast cancer exam on a cute 25 year old through the call of Jackie these days. He needed to make it brief because he needed to get to the news. Poor Jackie have been waiting to get on the display for the reason that 4am! She got here down from Buffalo just to satisfy Howard and let him touch her breasts. As a be counted of reality she stated she didn't sincerely care about the cancer examination, she simply wanted him to touch her breasts! It's awesome what fame can do for a guy is not it? Needless to mention, Howard failed to find any lumps in her breasts. Scott The Engineer Given Proclamation From Councilman. 10/17/97. 7:10am A city councilman from Seven Hills Ohio came in to present Scott The Engineer with a few Proclamation thanking him for making a bet in opposition to Cleveland within the baseball playoffs. Scott misplaced the wager so Cleveland is heading to the World Series. The 24 12 months vintage Councilman, David Bentowsky, supplied the component to Scott. Ponce De LaPhone Phony Phone Calls. 10/17/97. 7:15am Howard played tape of three new phony phone calls that Ponce made. They were incredible as common. Ponce uses tape from the display instead of his very own voice. The three that Howard performed protected the voices of Hank the inebriated dwarf, Wood Yi and Kirk Douglas announcing ''What are you announcing?''. Ponce continues getting higher and better. Phone Call To Fred's Mother About Sex. 10/17/ninety seven. 7:40am The different day Howard spoke to Jackie's mother about oral sex and other stuff. Today it became Fred's mother's flip. Howard gave her a call and located out that she is the most open mom of them all. Howard first spoke to Fred's step-father about the challenge. He allow each person realize that that they had performed that stuff and maybe still do. Fred's mom showed it. She stated that they're very satisfied. Tori Spelling Comes In. 10/17/ninety seven. 7:50am Tori Spelling got here in to plug a movie that she's in referred to as ''The House Of Yes''. It's now not a TV film this time. It's a real movie in order to be launched subsequent week across the united states of america. Robin saw it and said it became pretty proper. Howard spent maximum of the interview asking Tori about how her day goes. He asked the entirety from when she wakes up till she is going out after paintings. He also took a few smartphone calls from nutty listeners. One guy known as in and stated that he'd skateboard naked around the block simply to satisfy Tori. Howard advised him to return down however he never did make it. A couple of other callers brought out the reality that Tori added her brother to a
strip club for his birthday and had a lap dance for herself! Her brother is under age so she did not want to speak approximately it too much because she turned into afraid that her mother and father might discover about it. Howard stated that he became hypnotized by means of Tori's breasts the whole time she turned into there. The Mike Walker Game. 10/17/97. Eight:50am No movie star contestants today with the Mike Walker game. It turned into best Howard, Robin and Jackie playing. Fred turned into a contributor for the game so he sat out. Here are this week's 4 memories: Farrah Fawcett demanded that she get to maintain a few workplace fixtures that turned into used for a few thing she was concerned with. The fixtures changed into attached to the wall so she demanded that it be ripped out. They did come to be shopping for her a brand new wall unit. Maria Schriver freaked out lately when she determined lengthy hairs in her brush. It turned out to be doll hair. Her daughter had brushed her dolls hair with the brush. When a girls room door changed into locked in a California eating place for an prolonged quantity of time the supervisor demanded for the person to come out. When the door opened it was Jim Belushi with a newspaper and cigar in hand. He stated the men's room was busy. The individuals of Fleetwood Mac have already started preventing again and have stated that there'll in no way be any other reunion again. Jackie chose tale three as the fake, Howard selected wide variety 2 however changed his preference to no 1 and Robin picked wide variety three as the faux. The actual faux story became quantity 4. Animated Marv Albert Song. 10/17/ninety seven. Nine:20am Someone despatched Howard some kind of laptop animation of Marv Albert that goes together with the Marv Albert tune parody ''Yesterday'' that they'd on the show no longer too long in the past. He performed it for Robin and stated that he'd like to get it on E!. Howard said that it changed into first rate. Richard Belzer Sits In During The News. 10/17/ninety seven. Nine:25am Comedian Richard Belzer came in to hang out during the information. His display ''Homicide'' has it is season most reliable tonight. Before they did the news though a female known as in who claimed that she changed into afraid that she will be murdered. When Howard started out asking the girl who changed into going to kill her she stated that Robert Redford and Robert Urich have been out to get her for some unusual purpose. Howard performed along side her for quite some time. It was definitely sort of unhappy due to the fact this girl was absolutely screwed up. Howard tried to get in contact with the girl's daughter and her husband however they didn't have any success. -- Thursday October 16, 1997 -- Howard Talks About The Tommy & Pamela Lee Video. 10/sixteen/ninety seven. 6:30am Howard acquired a videotape inside the mail of Tommy Lee and his wife Pamela Lee having intercourse and doing a bunch of different matters. Howard stated it was the sexiest issue he is seen. Apparently the tape became home video that Pam and Tommy made together however it become stolen and circulated all around the location. Howard spent quite a bit of time talking about bits and pieces of the tape. He made it sound like the tape become 2 hours long but as it seems it is handiest like half-hour. Later in the morning Howard discovered out that the tape is available at the net for like $40 or $50. He would not give out the URL due to the fact he would not think it is right to promote that type of stuff with out their permission. Woman Comes In To Eat Cake Out Of Fred's Ass. 10/16/ninety seven. 7:25am This female had known as within the different day about eating cake out of Jackie's ass for a Private Parts Prize Package. Jackie didn't need to do it so Fred became subsequent on the listing. Her name turned into Linda and she's 36 years vintage. Howard said she looks forty six. She got here on this morning and it turns out that she appears form of like Jackie! Howard said she had genuinely best breasts even though. Before she ate the cake she wanted Howard to give her a breast exam however he grew to become her down. She regarded to scare everybody inside the studio. When she ultimately did consume the cake out of his ass all and sundry within the room changed into going nuts. Howard later stated that she became trying to drag Fred's pants down whilst ingesting the cake. It ought to were a hell of a website. Fred has a nice ass in line with Howard with the aid of the way. Lynyrd Skynryd Drummer Tells Story Of Survival. 10/sixteen/ninety seven. Eight:25am This man Artimus Pyle became one of the survivors of the aircraft crash that killed a number of the members of the band Lynyrd Skynrd. He instructed the story about how the plane ran out of gasoline on the way to Baton Rouge, Louisiana and the way they crashed into a swamp. He managed to move slowly out of the wreckage and located a house. As he were given to the house although the proprietor concept the man become a thief or something and shot him! It wasn't awful sufficient that he'd simply been in a plane crash, some dumb ass shoots him. 6 of the 26 on board died. Two of them were the pilot and co-pilot. The man become pretty cool for approaching and telling the tale. Later inside the display a guy referred to as in and said that Artimus have been thrown in prison for raping a 4 year vintage or some thing like that. Howard had Gary get Artimus returned on the smartphone to find out what it changed into all approximately. Artimus defined that all of it needed to do with custody of his child. He said it had something to do with his female friend getting out of the relationship and the use of a baby molestation tale to do it. He did not give all of the details so it became kind of tough to discern it out. This guy has been thru a hell of a whole lot of crap in his existence huh? Howard Gives Breast Cancer Exam To Black Woman. 10/16/97. 9:10am This turned into the first black girl to are available for a breast cancer exam from Howard. She had small breasts but Howard nevertheless appeared to revel in the examination. He said that she seemed like someone out of National Geographic magazine. She had a few type of marks on her breasts that she was concerned approximately. Howard stated they seemed like cigarette burns or acne on her one breast. He told her to have them checked by a doctor. Yet any other a success breast exam by way of Dr. Stern. Daniel Carver's Movie Review Of ''Booty Call''. 10/sixteen/97. 9:15am KKK member Daniel Carver become on the smartphone to present his review of the movie ''Booty Call'' He gave it 2 nooses out of five. He said that it became humorous however it turned into all black propaganda. He said he'd instead see a Steve Martin movie or some thing like that. -- Wednesday October 15, 1997 -- Steve Grillo Interviews Jonathan Harris. 10/15/97. 6:45am Howard performed tape of an interview Steve Grillo did with Jonathan Harris. He's the guy who performed Dr. Smith within the vintage TV collection ''Lost In Space''. The properly health practitioner played in conjunction with the few questions that Grillo asked. Before gambling the tape even though, Howard changed into speaking about how dumb Grillo is due to the fact he dropped out of university after going for six years. He most effective had one extra semester to complete but he dropped out because he needed to take 2 semesters of a foreign
language. Howard Gives Breast Cancer Exam. 10/15/97. 7:30am In reputation of breast most cancers awareness month Howard has determined to offer unfastened checks to any ladies who need them. The first female to reveal up become Patricia or Trish as she known as herself. She's a great searching stripper who failed to hesitate to take off her pinnacle to have Howard do the examination. Trish has breast implants so it became a little more hard to do the examination. Howard was explaining what he become doing so ladies at domestic could check themselves for cancer. Howard kept pronouncing that this wasn't erotic for him however I think all of us recognize that is fake. He basically felt this girl up and admitted it. He positive doesn't get to sense up strangers breasts some other manner except when he does the Painting O' The Green for St. Patricks Day or when he paints breasts like Easter eggs in the course of Easter. Okay, so he does get to feel up girls's breasts quite a bit. Howard stated that Trish was excited through all of this. We'll should anticipate that he supposed her nipples were erect. I assume Howard become looking to play this immediately in order that they may show this on TV like they do whilst a real medical doctor is doing it for a news application. Don't expect it happening even though. Howard Talks To Jackie's Mother About Sex. 10/15/97. Eight:15am Not too long in the past Howard was thinking if Jackie's mom, being the laid returned form of character she is, had ever allow her husband inside the returned door so to talk. He in the end made the phone call to her this morning and asked her approximately it. She said that again in her day they just failed to do things like that. She even stated that she never gave her husband oral intercourse. Howard additionally spoke to Gary's mother approximately the identical situation. Gary's mom stated the same element. She never gave her husband oral sex. It just wasn't the right factor to do. Later in the display a sixty eight yr old lady referred to as in and said that she thinks girls did that stuff back then however they just do not like to speak about it. The woman said that she gave her men oral sex but didn't honestly communicate about it. She wasn't talking for the moms of Gary and Jackie however it is feasible that they simply don't need to speak about it. We might also in no way recognize the truth. David Duchovny Comes In. 10/15/ninety seven. 8:40am Actor David Duchovny got here in to plug his new film ''Playing God'' nowadays. David is one of the stars of ''The XFiles'' on Fox. We observed out that David is a completely wise man. He graduated from Princeton University and went directly to Yale to get his masters. The subject of the SAT assessments came up even earlier than David got here into the studio however they discovered out that he got a score of 1320 on his 2d strive. David said that he concept Howard was excellent in ''Private Parts''. He thought Fred turned into even better. Howard actually thinks exceptionally of David's new spouse Tea Leoni. They mentioned her for a bit at the same time as. David pointed out how they got collectively. They had been added by way of their agent. Howard also took some telephone calls from some wacky listeners. David placed some rumors to relaxation. One man thought that the X-Files film become a rumor but it's now not only a rumor, they completed filming it this summer season and it is going to be out next June. Just to position a few rumors to relaxation David stated that he's now not a mattress wetter and he by no means did porno films despite the fact that he became in a few film where there was some nudity. David's movie opens this Friday. He said he'd come back when he's doing exposure for the X-Files film subsequent spring. More Breast Cancer Exams. 10/15/97. 9:40am Howard did a pair greater breast cancer checks earlier than doing the news today. The first girl became a 20 yr old with braces. She turned into appropriate searching however she appeared so younger that they had to check her identity to make certain. According to Howard this lady Jen had the finest Ccup breasts. He turned into simply inspired with them. She looked something like Drew Barrymore according to Robin but Howard said she regarded higher than that. Howard did the examination on her and said it wasn't erotic.. Sure Howard. Stuttering John came in and instructed Howard that there was one extra female waiting to have her exam accomplished. Jen left and 23 yr old April came in. She had large breasts in step with Howard. She wasn't even sure what size they have been. She stated that they have been either a C or a D cup. Howard regarded to have even more a laugh doing this examination than he did with the other two. Quite an afternoon for Howard! How many men can say they felt up 3 ladies in less than 2 Ă‚Â˝ hours? -- Tuesday October 14, 1997 -- Strange Sex Story Tuesday. 10/14/ninety seven. 7:15am There have been a bunch of unusual sex stories being advised by way of callers this morning. One 24 yr old guy informed a story approximately snoozing together with his forty seven year old Aunt. He stated she turned into really correct looking but nevertheless, it's pretty messed up. Another guy instructed a story about his sister's buddy giving him oral sex even as his sister turned into standing there telling her to do it. Then the friend and the sister got right into a lesbian aspect at the same time as the brother watched. Later inside the show some other guy referred to as in along with his tale approximately a dominatrix who crapped on him. He said it became something he wanted to do. I'm getting nauseous just writing about it. Howard Jams With Scott The Engineer. 10/14/97. 7:40am Before Green Day came in to play more than one songs Howard wanted to play with their instruments. He desired to perform ''Gloria'' together with Scott The Engineer on drums. Howard sang lead and Robin, Jackie and Fred were backup singers. Of path it didn't sound that super and proper once they had been carried out playing the members of Green Day popped their heads in to look if their units were okay. Howard failed to understand that Green Day had been there otherwise he would not have messed with their stuff. Howard talked to them for approximately 10 seconds then took a few cellphone calls. Green Day wasn't scheduled to carry out till 8:30. Howard settled on naming the organization ''The Losers'' after throwing out some names. Mental Health Discussion. 10/14/97. Eight:10am Howard referred to that he's considering going to see a psychiatrist. This led to a discussion approximately how messed up every body on the show is. Fred admitted to going to a psychiatrist for some time. Robin additionally went to one for about 2 and a 1/2 years. Howard asked Fred if he told the psychiatrist that he wasn't coming lower back or did he simply stop going. Fred stated that he instructed him however Howard didn't believe the story. This all led to Fred getting all wound up and freaking out. Howard said something else to Fred to get him truely wound up but the put off changed into hit for a few purpose. Fred did pass nuts even though. It changed into very wonderful to listen him go off like that. Green Day Performs Two Songs. 10/14/ninety seven. Eight:40am Punk rock band Green Day came in to carry out a couple of songs for Howard. Howard interviewed them for a little whilst earlier than they played. They mentioned the lead singer's tattoo's and the way they were just plastered
throughout his fingers for no motive. Howard additionally stated seeing the guys again stage one time. He noticed considered one of them spinning round on his returned together with his penis putting out even as the others have been strolling around like nuts. Then they ran on stage to begin the display. They failed to seem to recognize what Howard become speaking about however it become a heck of a tale. The band achieved their hit music ''Basket Case'' first despite the fact that they deliberate on playing their new song first. For some cause Howard desired them to play the vintage tune first.. Whatever. They played ''Hitchin' A Ride'' next. That one is off of their new album ''Nimrod'' which become just released. Woman Who Will Do Anything To Meet David Duchovny. 10/14/97. 10:35am Actor David Duchovny from ''The X Files'' is scheduled to are available in sometime this week. This brought on a phone name from a girl listener who stated she'd do some thing to satisfy David. Howard came up with some thoughts for her like pouring honey throughout her and letting a canine lick it off. She could agree to a number of the less difficult things like permitting them to name her ''poop head'' or giving Crackhead Bob a rub down however while she said that she wouldn't be willing to crap in a diaper in the front of Howard he stated that became the issue she needed to do. Howard gave her some chances to alternate her thoughts however she refused so difficult luck for Joy. Web Site Of The Day. 10/13/97. 7:05am Howard became speaking about a web website that he currently noticed which has girls who don't shave and who're without a doubt bushy. He could not don't forget the address before everything so he turned into trying a couple of different ones. Well he noted the proper one and it became overwhelmed by listeners so Howard could not get into it to reveal Robin some of the photographs. The cope with became some thing like www.Hairtostay.Com. Good good fortune stepping into the web site. Woman To Eat Chocolate Cake Out Of Fred's Ass. 10/thirteen/ninety seven. 7:30am A woman known as in and volunteered to eat chocolate cake out of Jackie's ass. I bet she become inspired by using remaining week's ingesting of Hershey Kisses out of the JokeMan's ass. Jackie stated that he would not want to do it this time.. It's a person else's turn. Next in line for the process changed into Fred. He said he'd do it but the girl at the smartphone didn't sound too thrilled with it. The lady stated she'd be able to are available in subsequent week sometime. She described herself to Howard as 5'9'' tall, one hundred thirty-135 kilos with a 36 C chest. She said she appears form of like a young Kathleen Turner. UPDATE: Kim The Nude Rub Down Woman. 10/13/ninety seven. 7:35am Kim changed into the fortunate lady who got the nude rub down from Jenna Jameson closing week. She called in this morning to tell Howard how thrilled she turned into after having that rub down. Howard also found out that Kim's bra had come off at some point of that rub down. I wasn't aware of that closing week when I heard the show. Kim additionally said that Jenna turned into ''..Rubbing the entirety..'' at some stage in the massage. Kim said that she hasn't been transformed to lesbianism but she positive loved the rub down. Author Jean Robinson On The Phone. 10/thirteen/ninety seven. 7:45am This female wrote a book referred to as ''How To Survive In Spite Of Your Family''. It's about racism within black households and how to cope with it. Howard interviewed the lady for some time approximately the book and took some phone calls from black human beings who've had this trouble. Jean, who's seventy one, advised Howard that her mom dealt with her poorly simply because she had darker pores and skin than the relaxation of her family. Her mother as soon as said to someone, ''..Isn't always it unsightly..'' like she became a chunk of crap or something. At one factor inside the interview Jean was rambling on about the person who wrote ''Amazing Grace''. I do not know what her point became however she started making a song the track. Let's just say that she need to stick with writing. If you want to reserve the e-book just name: 1-888-231-2509. Jenna Jameson Comes In To Give Nude Rubdown. 10/10/ninety seven. 7:35am All week long Howard were selecting contestants for the Jenna Jameson nude massage contest. Yesterday they chose a winner by using the name of Dee(Darius). He has testicular and penile cancer and he in all likelihood may not live extra than a yr. Jenna got here in this morning to give the fortunate winner his massage. Howard talked with Jenna for a few minutes about her four month lengthy marriage and about what she turned into wearing. Jenna plugged a few appearances that she'll be making within the close to future also. Then they moved on to the rubdown. Dee came in and Gary described him as being a skinny heavy steel fan kind. Or thin with long hair. Howard said that he wasn't too bad searching. He came in with a towel round his waist for the rubdown. He turned into getting equipped for the rub down whilst he told Howard that he had a special idea. Instead of him getting the rubdown he desired Jenna to provide his lady friend Kim the rubdown. He'd alternatively see that then have the rubdown himself. Howard did not mind due to the fact he'd as a substitute see that anyway. Dee's girlfriend turned into out within the inexperienced room so Gary were given her all set up with a towel and taken her in. I guess Kim wasn't too bad looking from what I ought to inform. Jenna were given bare and started giving Kim the rubdown. First she turned into on her back and she or he turned into loving it. Dee turned into loving it also. Kim wasn't bare however Jenna certain became. She was the use of a few kind of oil for the rub down. Jenna gave the massage for a great 15 mins solid and Kim was moaning and breathing heavy the complete time. At one point Kim rolled over directly to her returned so Jenna ought to rub down the the front. Howard was loving each second of this. He become trying to interview her at the same time as she become having the massage but she should slightly pay interest or solution the questions. Once Jenna become carried out with the massage Kim become dizzy. Gary said that she stood up and he or she may want to barely walk immediately. I suppose absolutely everyone favored this contest. One woman caller said that she changed into loving it also. Bloated Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and provided to offer the man and his lady friend 2 plane tickets to Puerto Rico so they might stay at his house down there. And all Dee needed to do turned into get cancer in his penis.. The Mike Walker Game With Insane Clown Posse. 10/10/ninety seven. 8:45am Insane Clown Posse is more than one white men who rap. They had been on a few months ago after they had been dropped from a Disney file organisation. They have been just as indignant because the closing time they had been on. They had been horrific mouthing Jenna Jameson due to the fact she said that she failed to do not forget them after putting out with them no longer too lengthy ago. Howard talked with them for a few minutes and moved directly to the Mike Walker recreation. Here are this week's testimonies, attempt to pick out the false one: Dennis Rodman turned into going to be an announcer on the Country Music Awards show but during rehearsal he became found to be too wild and turned into
dropped from the display. Quentin Tarantino requested John Travolta to do a cameo in a small movie. John stated he'd do it if Tarantino could pay for the jet gasoline for his non-public plane. Tarantino ultimately agreed to pay. Donna D'Erico and Gena Lee Nolan refused to pop out in their trailer for fear that co-famous person Carmen Electra would scouse borrow their thunder with her knockout frame. 5 hours later they came out. While filming a scene for his tv collection ''Dellaventura'' Danny Aiello's hair piece fell off so he needed to re-shoot the scene. Insane Clown Posse member Violent Jay picked the first story as the fake, Shaggy 2 Dope picked 4, Robin picked number 1, Howard picked 3, Jackie picked 4 and Fred wasn't gambling this week. The real faux tale changed into wide variety 2. After the sport the Clowns hung round for a little whilst. Howard took some telephone calls from frustrated listeners who seemed to hate the Clown Posse. The clowns simply threatened the callers and yelled at them. A couple of amusing men. Danny Aiello Calls Gary About Mention In Mike Walker Game. 10/10/97. 10:15am Gary came in to inform Howard that Danny Aiello referred to as him to mention that the tale that Mike Walker told approximately his hair piece falling off become completely false. Danny didn't want to come back at the air however he instructed Gary that he does not put on a hair piece on his ''Dellaventura'' television show however he did put on one in a film one time. Howard got in touch with Mike Walker again and advised Mike approximately this. Mike claims that he has a excellent supply that he got the tale from however he'd check into it. -- Thursday October 9, 1997 -- Another Jenna Jameson Contest Entry. 10/nine/97. 6:30am Howard took more smartphone calls from listeners with hard luck memories these days. The grand prize winner gets a nude rubdown from Jenna Jameson the next day throughout the display. There have been a bunch of sad stories these days however one stood out. Dee, a listener who's had a bunch of horrific good fortune following him around, was picked out of all of the other sad sacks obtainable. Dee stated that his mom and sister each died then sooner or later he ran out of gasoline and as he changed into going to get gas he became rear ended by every other vehicle. He awoke inside the health facility ok but the doctors observed that he had testicular cancer and penile most cancers. It's in a totally superior degree so they'd have to put off his penis and testicles. Even with that he'd nonetheless most effective have a 15% threat of residing. Dee chose to maintain his penis. He's in all likelihood going to die within 6 to 365 days or so. Dee gained out of his institution of tales so now there were 3 finalists. The grand prize winner changed into introduced later in the morning. Web Site Visit Of The Day. 10/9/97. 7:15am One of the contestants within the Jenna Jameson sport is a guy who invented a self lighting pipe. He has an internet website online of his personal wherein you can see the pipe so Howard checked it out. The website turned into at www.The-pipe.Com. Dallas Station Being Sold By Nationwide Insurance! 10/nine/ninety seven. 7:20am Dallas enthusiasts have to be honestly annoyed now. Nationwide Insurance has positioned KEGL up for sale after losing Howard from the station. Howard pointed out this for about 2 minutes this morning. He study about it in a few enterprise guide. I don't know what that means for Stern fans down there however if every other business enterprise buys the station perhaps they'll placed Howard returned on. Don't expect it although. Kiki The Drag Queen. 10/nine/97. 7:25am This drag queen came in to tell his/her/it is tale about getting beat up at the same time as acting at Madonna's celebration currently. Kiki had a completely masculine voice but he saved denying that he changed into a drag queen. He said that he's had 3 youngsters and that he misplaced his breasts to breast cancer or something like that. Unfortunately I missed some of his tale but from what I could hear, he got kicked by means of a person at Madonna's celebration. He changed into doing a little songs and a person attacked him for no top cause. Other than that there wasn't an awful lot of a story. Kiki wasn't that high-quality as a guest. Howard Talks To Michelle The Tree House Mom. 10/9/97. 7:35am There's a lady in Illinois who moved out of her residence right into a tree house due to the fact she felt that he kids weren't appreciating all the things she turned into doing for them. Well one in all Howard's listeners went all the way down to the female's residence with a mobile phone to look if she'd let Howard interview her. There were a bunch of TV cameras ther protecting the tale. The man with the telephone just walked proper up to the female and asked her if she'd like to speak to Howard. She everyday so Howard spoke to her for a minute. Then a TV team interrupted the conversation and Michelle said that she had to speak to them. Howard had her maintain the cellphone nearby so he may want to maintain after the TV interview. A couple of minutes later he become interviewing her again. He requested her why she was doing this and crap like that. Jim Belushi Comes In. 10/nine/ninety seven. 8:20am Actor Jim Belushi got here in to plug his new movie ''Gang Related''. He stars in it with the past due Tupac Shakur. Howard spent most of the interview playing tape of a phony smartphone call that Gary made to Jim. It turned into like the name to Tom Arnold from multiple weeks ago where Gary would ask the guy if he could come up with some outrageous tale to inform at the air. He'd ask them to say ridiculous matters and they'd refuse. Gary requested Jim to mention things approximately people like Dan Aykroyd and Princess Diana. Of course Jim did not agree to say some thing due to the fact he did not need to burn any bridges. Jim had to be rushed out of the studio due to the fact he had other suggests to do. Howard Talks To Fran Drescher On The Phone. 10/9/ninety seven. Nine:45am When Fran Drescher became on recently she requested Howard if he'd do her show. He stated he would but later had second mind about it. He could not inform her no without Robin's assist so he did it at the cellphone this morning. It wasn't an smooth assignment although. Fran become half asleep once they were given her on the smartphone. Howard told her that her display ''The Nanny'' just wasn't the proper issue for him to do. Fran instructed him that they'd make it clean on him and are available to New York City to shoot the scene proper inside the studio. It could simplest take an hour and it would be easy. Howard instructed her no about 10 times but she just would not hear of it. She would not give up. She just stored going and going looking to get him to do it however Howard already made up his thoughts. At one point Howard's mom known as in and informed Howard that he need to simply do the display and allow Fran prevent begging. Howard stood his floor and didn't deliver in. He did not need to harm Fran's emotions however she did seem a bit dissatisfied approximately everything. Howard told her that he'd speak to his agent approximately the scenario to peer if he must do it. Don't expect him displaying up at the display. The Jenna Jameson Nude Rubdown Contest Winner Is. 10/nine/ninety seven. 10:30am Well it become overdue in the show after they finally got round to choosing the winner for this nude rub down. There had been three finalists
for the contest: Kevin - The 30 12 months old virgin Dee - The penis cancer guy who doesn't have lengthy to live Kevin - The blind guy who become shot in the face Howard and Robin painstakingly went over every of the tales and picked Dee as the grand prize winner. Dee might be down on the studio the following day for his rub down. Check again the next day for the full story. -- Wednesday October eight, 1997 -- It's Time To Ignore Andrew Dice Clay. 10/8/97. 6:45am After Big Black played the Hard Copy piece on Dice and Howard's feud which aired the day prior to this Howard determined that it's time to ignore him. Dice became interviewed by way of the Hard Copy people and he challenged Howard to a war of wits. He wants to do it in someplace like Madison Square Garden. Well Howard's now not going to have some thing to do with some thing like that. On Hard Copy Dice stated that he's ill of Howard getting exposure off of his name. Uh, Dice, I assume it's the other manner around. That's what Howard thinks additionally so he stated that he's not going to talk approximately him anymore. Jenna Jameson Nude Massage Contest! 10/eight/ninety seven. 7:00am This Friday porn famous person Jenna Jameson may be coming in. She will be giving one fortunate listener a nude rubdown. The listener with the saddest tale will win the contest and get the rub down. This morning Howard started out taking organizations of callers with their unhappy tales. Out of every group they may pick out the only with the saddest story. Out of that institution they'll select the final grand prize winner to get the rubdown. Howard took corporations of calls this morning and picked two finalists. The first finalist is Kevin, a 30 12 months vintage virgin. As quickly as Howard heard that the man turned into a 30 12 months antique virgin he stated ''He wins..''. Robin finally agreed with him so he is in. Out of the second one institution of callers another man by way of the name of Kevin won. This Kevin is blind. He turned into shot within the face through someone and misplaced his sight. So there we have it. Two finalists up to now. We'll probable have extra tomorrow. Fred's CD Dedication. 10/8/ninety seven. 7:25am Fred's band King Norris recently launched a CD. Howard just located out approximately it and examine the dedication inner. It's committed to Fred's spouse Alison. Howard examine it on the air and not incredibly it failed to make plenty sense. It stated something approximately his wife sticking with him through all the crap. Howard can't consider what crap he changed into speakme about. Howard also performed a track off of the album referred to as ''Tearing Down The Walls''. It's about his dating with his wife. Robin stated that she needed to pay attention to it a gaggle of times to try to make sense out of it. She didn't have any success. (The following become introduced 10/01/09) Howard read that Steve Grillo were given a dedication too. Fred stated this is because he used to expose as much as a gaggle of gigs. Howard brought up the incident that Fred and his spouse had at the Rainbow Room one night. Jackie advised Howard approximately that incident again. He informed Howard that the room became rotating and by the time Fred and his spouse's desk were given lower back to in which they have been, the desk had been cleared and Fred and his spouse have been gone. Fred stated that he bumped the desk along with his hip and he did not knock the desk over or whatever. Gary stated he remembers listening to from that guy who turned into there who said he noticed Fred throw a glass on the wall. Fred went off on Gary and stated that maybe they need to communicate about his marriage too. He stated that Gary loves to interject and he has no commercial enterprise doing that with that story. Gary stated he was simply telling them what that caller said while he turned into on the air. Howard asked Fred some questions on what the fight was approximately on the Rainbow Room. Fred gave a number of the details and stated that it passed off 4 years earlier than. Howard informed Fred that he have to lay off the ingesting due to the fact that appears to result in problem. Howard played the song ''Tearing Down the Walls'' from Fred's album. Howard stated it became sort of a Latin sound. He and Robin attempted to discern out what the lyrics had been approximately. They weren't having any luck figuring them out. Howard asked what the hell he become speaking about. Howard told Fred that he need to maintain all of these items locked up inner of him and not permit it all out. He said that a relationship is making yourself appear like a hero as opposed to breaking all of those lousy information of his lifestyles to her. Howard stated he looks as if a hero to his kids because of that. Howard performed greater of Fred's music and stated he receives it now. He reduce it off and gave Fred a few plugs for the CD. Rapper Busta Rhymes Comes In. 10/8/ninety seven. 8:50am Busta Rhymes came in to plug his album ''When Disaster Strikes''. Howard interviewed him for a little bit and played pre-recorded tapes of people out on the street asking questions. They're no longer common humans, they sound like drunks. He says that the questions are for Busta himself but he's used the tapes for other human beings like Chris Rock. Some of the questions were: Was Mike Tyson railroaded on rape charges? Is OJ Simpson responsible? Do light skinned black humans get preferential treatment over dark skinned black people? Did you take part inside the L.A. Riots? Would you do a rap music with OJ? Should blacks and whites stay separately? Would you ride in a vehicle with Rodney King? Busta answered maximum of the questions. He thinks that OJ became set up to a certain volume via the L.A. Cops and he said he'd do a rap music with OJ whenever. Howard kept Busta round during the following segment.. 2 men came in to consume Hershey Kisses out of Jackie's ass for Private Parts Prize Packages! Private Parts Prize Package Giveaway. Eat Hershey Kiss Out Of Jackie's Ass! 10/8/97. Nine:10am A listener from New Jersey known as in in advance this morning and requested if he may want to devour a Hershey Kiss out of Jackie's ass for a Private Parts Prize Package. Howard told him to get down there as speedy as viable. He turned into on his way in whilst some other guy called in from New York City and said that he could be there quicker than the alternative man to do the identical issue. Howard advised him to are available in. They each confirmed up so they both were given to do their factor. Tommy from Secaucus, NJ was the primary man to call in. The other man who referred to as himself ''Hoss'' is the man from the city. Howard had Jackie positioned 2 of those chocolate Hershey Kisses in his butt crack to heat them up. It gave the impression of Howard anticipated the men to take the Kisses out of the crack with toothpicks and consume them however it really is not what they ended up doing. Each man had to bend over and get the Kiss out of Jackie's ass with his mouth. Tommy did it quite quick. Busta Rhymes turned into surprised and disgusted in the course of the entirety. He said it should be a ''white element''. ''Hoss'' changed into up subsequent to dig into Jackie's ass. His task wasn't going to be clean though. The 2nd Hershey Kiss turned into buried in Jackie's ass pretty rattling exact. Hoss needed to dig in there truely a long way to get his prize bundle. Everyone changed into calling him a homo because he become down there so long. Jackie even jumped at
one factor because the guy's nose changed into so cold. Just another day on the Stern display. Scott The Engineer Loses His Bet. 10/7/ninety seven. 6:05am As expected, Scott The Engineer lost his wager with Howard on who might win the Yankee recreation remaining night time. As quickly as Howard got on the air he became goofing on Scott and the way he loses at the entirety he does. If Scott bets on some thing you may almost guarantee that he will lose the wager. Some listeners have been pissed that Scott made the Yankees lose the game however some surely bet in opposition to the Yanks and won a few massive money. One man claimed that he received $8000 because of Scott. Scott's loss is our gain. For his loss he had to get dressed in a bra and panties and stroll across the block out on the streets of New York City. Howard didnt' make it a quickie either. He dragged it out for over an hour. Once Howard picked out the appropriate outfit for Scott, Amy the intern said she needed to see him. She got here in and laughed it up a chunk. He turned into carrying thong undies so his ugly ass changed into showing and he was carrying a DD-Cup length bra which he filled in pretty well in line with Robin. Scott ultimately made it out onto the streets and there had been plenty of humans ready to look him. He stated that a number of humans have been throwing money at him. One lady even wanted him to bounce for her. Can't wait to look this one on E! Author Barbara Berg On The Phone. 10/7/97. 7:50am This woman wrote a book called ''What To Do When Life Is Driving You Crazy''. It's basically a e book to inform you what to do while your wife is nagging you. Howard took a gaggle of calls from listeners with marriage troubles and Barbara could try and supply them some recommendation. Her voice changed into absolutely stressful so I really wasn't listening too intently to her. Maybe the ebook is higher than her radio appearance.. I don't know. If you want to get the book here's the range: 1-800-669-0773 or go to your local book save and test it out. Phone Sex With Howard. 10/7/97. 8:40am I do not know what it turned into with annoying voices these days but Howard had a expert telephone intercourse girl at the cellphone today and her voice become pretty terrible. Some woman known as in and said that she could put on this so known as professional phone sex lady so Howard took her up at the offer. A little while later this woman Holly become trying smartphone intercourse with Howard. Howard were given sidetracked for a couple of minutes but then went back to it. When she started pronouncing that she'd lick his internal thighs he had to dangle up. I think he become afraid that he'd get too dirty for the radio. Dice On Hard Copy Tonight. 10/7/97. 9:00am A couple of people knowledgeable Howard that Andrew Dice Clay is supposed to be on Hard Copy today talking about their feud. I guess Dice goes to make a profession out of his fight with Howard now. Check it out if you get a chance. Alice, The Black Woman Who Dislikes Black People. 10/7/ninety seven. Nine:20am This female referred to as in a couple of months ago. She said that despite the fact that she's black herself she does not like black people. She got here into the studio nowadays to inform her story. Actually it turned into YELL her tale. Howard stored setting people on the telephone with Alice and they'd say something to her and he or she'd cross nuts yelling at them. It become pretty funny. Basically Alice does not like black people due to the fact she's been ripped off through black people during her existence. There turned into a pretty funny tale that Scott Einziger had to tell. Scott was in the mens bathroom while he heard a valid next to him. It turned out to be Alice! She become inside the mens room. She stated some thing like ''..Damn it, that is the mens room. I've performed this before. ''. She said that she become sleepy and that she failed to understand which bathroom she become in. She had completed it once before whilst she changed into more youthful also. Scott additionally said that she was on her period so he noticed things that he shouldn't have. One caller become chanting voo doo stuff to Alice but she simply yelled at the guy so you should slightly pay attention it. Before she left she cried about dropping her dad and mom and sister. She failed to say how she misplaced them but she wept for a couple of minutes. Howard just laughed. Just How Fat Is Scott The Engineer? 10/6/ninety seven. 7:35am Scott the engineer got here into the studio for some motive this morning and the concern of his weight came up. He's won pretty a few pounds due to the fact that quitting smoking some months in the past. Everyone decided to guess on what he weighs. It become a small bet put they pooled the money together for whoever may want to get closest to his weight without going over. Stuttering John guessed 265 kilos, Gary stated 258, Robin said 250, Jackie said 270, Fred stated 220 and Howard stated 235. His real weight became 265 pounds! He's 6'1'' tall via the manner. Stuttering John won the bet. After that bet Howard desired to bet Scott at the Yankee 3-hitter. Howard said that he'd positioned up $500. If Scott wins he gets the $500. If he loses he has to get dressed in bra and panties and stroll across the block. Scott never wins when he bets so Yankee enthusiasts beware. Scott selected the Yankee's to win tonight. Scott can be on foot the streets the next day morning. Female Farting Contest. 10/6/ninety seven. 7:55am Only 3 girls confirmed up for this new contest this morning. Gary stated that he had 7 women scheduled to do it. The intention is to look who can blow a fart the quickest. Gary had a prevent watch to time the fart. He examined it out on Howard first. Howard blew a pair, one in 2.Four seconds then one in 1.14 seconds and subsequently one in .Seventy four seconds. The first lady up became Claudia. She couldn't pull it off despite the fact that she claimed remaining week that she would be capable of do it after drinking some milk. The second contestant was Mary. Mary set free a barely audible fart in 22.62 seconds. The last contestant, Veronica, got here up and allow one rip in 2.21 seconds! And this became no dainty fart. It became an lousy sounding nasty blast of a cabbage fart. Within some seconds Howard caught a whiff and nearly puked. Veronica stated that she ate a 1/4 head of cabbage to give you the contest winning access or go out because the case may be. She gained a round ride price ticket to Las Vegas. Look out Las Vegas! Comedian Chris Rock Comes In. 10/6/97. 8:35am Chris Rock got here in to plug his e book ''Rock This'' and his comedy CD ''Roll With The New''. Howard delivered Chris to that white comedian Colt 40-Feinberg who was at the display ultimate week. Colt sounds plenty like Chris Rock. Chris didn't locate Colt too humorous. He stored asking Howard in which he observed those human beings. Howard also had a few tape of people who desired to invite Chris questions. It turned into purported to be human beings out on the street. It grew to become out to be black those who ought to slightly speak. Howard might play the tape and Chris might simply maintain asking ''in which do you discover these humans?'' time and again again. It changed into certainly pretty funny. After those questions Howard stated that he had a listener who won the right to come in and ask Chris a query in man or woman. That listener become Crackhead Bob. He mumbled something and Chris asked ''in which do you discover
those human beings?'' all over again. There have been also a couple of people on the phone who said that they grew up with Chris. One guy stated that he used to overcome Chris up. The cellphone calls did not genuinely pass anywhere even though. Eddie Murphy's Uncle Ray Calls In. 10/6/ninety seven. 10:00am Eddie Murphy's uncle Ray called in for some extraordinary cause this morning. He failed to absolutely have anything thrilling to talk about but I concept I'd point out it besides. Woman From The Cultural Environment Movement Calls In. 10/6/ninety seven. 10:45am Earlier in the morning Howard read a fax approximately this group ''The Cultural Environment Movement'' who is becoming a member of humans in Canada to attempt to get Howard thrown off the air up there. Near the give up of the show a member of the board of this ridiculous institution turned into on the smartphone. She tried to provide an explanation for why they're trying to get Howard off the air however it definitely did not make too much sense. Her group thinks that Howard need to be taken off the air because of his ''hateful'' comments about the French people. It's Howard's opinion so he doesn't recognize why people have to be so involved approximately it. He asked her the following query: ''Let's say it is World War 2 and I went on the air and said that I hate the Nazi's. Should I be taken off the air for that?''. The woman couldn't deliver him a solution. She saved keeping off the subject. He asked her time and again again however she just would not budge. The two of them went at it for approximately 15 minutes. When she subsequently needed to pass Howard told her that she changed into very courageous to come on the radio. UPDATE: Jolean The Breast Implant Woman. 10/3/ninety seven. 6:55am You may additionally take into account this woman from her remaining look in July. She got here in and desired to get breast implants because hers were absolutely tiny. She changed into shot in the head by using her boyfriend however lived and all she desired changed into huge breasts. Well a doctor known as in an supplied to do them without spending a dime. She had them finished and she came in these days to expose them off. Jolean can barely stroll however she has satisfactory massive breasts now. Howard said that earlier than she even got the implants she changed into supplying oral intercourse to human beings she barely knew. She provided Doug from E! When they have been in a limo on the manner to the medical doctor's office. She also provided it to the limo motive force. Since she had the implants she stated that about 5 or 6 guys were able to touch her new breasts. She had a few vintage black guy along with her on the show nowadays but he was simply supporting her out. She did not even want him to peer her breasts. She had some strange story approximately how them met however it did not make a whole lot experience. Daniel Carver Awarded F-Emmy For ''Best Daniel Carver Appearance''. 10/three/ninety seven. 7:35am Another F-Emmy award today. This one changed into for the ''Best Daniel Carver Appearance'' so there was no manner he'd lose. Here had been the nominees: Daniel's KKK message about Martin Luther King. Daniel's emotions approximately Tiger Woods. Daniel's KKK message approximately humans tampering with his answering device. The winning appearance became all three I wager. Daniel changed into at the cellphone to accept. He thanked Howard for the gold tampon. Daniel has received F-Emmy's in the past but he stated that he's never physically acquired the award till now. Daniel changed into his regular racist self on the telephone and spewed his dumb assed messages whilst Howard talked over him. Howard also had a black man on the smartphone to yell at Daniel. Pat Cooper Comes In. 10/3/ninety seven. Eight:05am Comedian Pat Cooper got here in for a few reason these days. This may be an award winning look too. Howard had tape of Pat horrific mouthing him on a few television show. Pat said that he in no way terrible mouths Howard however Howard had the tape. Pat was greater riled up than traditional today. He changed into yelling and screaming about crap that simply failed to make feel as normal. He thinks that he should beat Howard inside the scores if he had his own radio display on at the same time. He desired to do this in Las Vegas but he desired like $1 Million for it. No radio station would pay him that if he hasn't validated himself but. As Pat changed into on the point of depart Howard said something about doing Pat a desire, letting him on the show. Well Pat lost it. He went nuts and stated that Howard wasn't doing him any favors and he did not want any favors from everyone. The man is nuts. It's hard to inform whether or not or no longer Pat turned into really mad or now not. Gary came again in later inside the display and said that Pat had some things to plug but he wouldn't inform Gary what they were due to the fact he failed to need any favors achieved for him. What a nut! Hopefully this may show up on E! Within the near future so we can see Pat losing it yet again. Flip Wilson Awarded F-Emmy For ''Wackiest Celebrity Moment''. 10/three/97. 8:50am The FEmmy for ''Wackiest Celebrity Moment'' become awarded to Flip Wilson for his displaying of the penis episode. Here had been the nominees: Geraldo Rivera calls the display slightly coherent after doing his display for 20 hours directly. Roy Firestone sings a music parody about Kato Kaelin. Flip Wilson suggests his penis and shall we Robin Radzinski pump it up. Flip changed into at the phone to just accept his award. He said that he is been getting plenty of calls from old girlfriends and new girls. He additionally said that he had quite a flight domestic after doing the show. The flight attendants stored bringing him caviar and lobster. He ended up asking in the event that they had heard him on Howard. They had and I guess it truly is why they were bringing him all the highly-priced meals. The Mike Walker Game. 10/3/ninety seven. 9:10am For modern-day Mike Walker Game we had Colt 40-Feinberg gambling alongside on the cellphone. Colt is the comedian who played the ''Wuz up wit my secret'' sport on Tuesday. His real call is Neil Feinberg and he did his black comedian impact during the whole recreation. So right here are this week's testimonies: Liz Taylor turned into bitten via a spider. She had an hypersensitive reaction and had EMT's standing via at a few characteristic she went to. Sharon Stone is having all of her limo drivers screened for capsules and alcohol use after the Lady Diana incident. Yasmine Bleeth changed into placing out along with her buddies at the same time as bowling. She found a free string on her get dressed, she pulled it and the following time she bowled, she ripped the dress exposing her jazzy crimson panties. Jerry Seinfeld has been spending plenty of time with co-star Julia Louis-Dreyfus' new child these days. He said that he'd like to discover a girl to settle down with so he ought to have one. Colt 40-Feinberg chose the first story as the faux, Fred selected variety 2, Robin picked four, Jackie picked three and Howard picked 4. The actual fake story for this week turned into variety three, the Yasmine Bleeth tale. Mike stated that the story changed into authentic but not for Yasmine. It happened to Christina Applegate years ago. -- Thursday October 2, 1997 -- Best Of Stern. 10/2/97. These are the days wherein Howard being half Jewish comes in available. He gets to take
vacation these days for Rosh Hashana. Here are latest featured segments: ''I Love Lucy'' bit. Discussion about considered one of Jackie's lame jokes. Sportscaster Al Michaels comes in. Howard complains about his wife listening to the display. Woman who claimed to be Madonna's sister referred to as in. Ian the drunk calls in and rambles on and on. -- Wednesday October 1, 1997 -- Paul Rodriguez Reports On His Conan O'Brien Appearance. 10/1/ninety seven. 6:15am Yesterday during Paul Rodriguez's appearance on the show he stated that he become going to be appearing at the Late Night with Conan O'Brien display. They requested him to do a stand-up recurring but he didn't need to. So he advised Howard that he might just repeat Conan's monolog but do it funnier. He known as in this morning to inform Howard what absolutely came about. He went on and did what he stated but when he watched the display later that night time he noticed that they reduce maximum of his stuff out. He just desired Howard to know that he did not wimp out. He did what he stated that the people at Late Night cut it up. Web Site Of The Day. 10/1/ninety seven. 7:10am Howard had every other cool net website online to visit these days. It's www.Thatguy.Com/splash/. It's known as ''Flash Mountain'' and it has photographs which can be taken close to the quit of the ''Splash Mountain'' trip at Disneyland out in California. That's now not the cool element even though. These are a pick out few wherein women have lifted their shirts up just as the image was taken. You should see it. Be warned even though, some of the ladies are not precisely attractive. Sy Sperling, Hair Club For Men President, Calls In. 10/1/97. 7:20am He's not simplest the President, he's a member too.. Sy Sperling got here at the display to ''out'' celebrities who have hair pieces. It didn't truly come to be that huge of a deal though. Sy pointed out some celebrities who most of the people already recognise have horrific wigs like: Ted Danson Elton John Tony Bennett Howard additionally examine a list of celebs who Sy thinks can also have had some thing carried out to their hair like: Paul Reiser Al Pachino Whitney Houston Charles Bronson Nicolas Cage Nothing too interesting there. Sy plugged his ''Hair Club For Men'' company and said that they are presenting free hair for kids who have most cancers and feature misplaced their hair due to the chemotherapy. If you'd like to get in contact with them their range is 1-800-HAIRCLUB. John Popper On The Phone. 10/1/ninety seven. 7:40am Robin read a story in the information yesterday approximately one of the individuals of Blues Traveler getting arrested for cocaine possession up in Canada. The article failed to mention which member it was so Howard tracked down lead singer John Popper to discover who it became. Well, it wasn't John. Howard became relieved to pay attention that. John said that it was the bass participant Bob Sheehan. John failed to deliver too much records approximately it since it just happened but the authorities up there were very cooperative. He's been released and that they opened for The Rolling Stones last night time. Robin's Masturbation Revelation. 10/1/97. 7:55am After Howard said some thing approximately not pleasuring himself for three days in a row Robin said that she did herself remaining night. Howard asked her who she although about while she turned into doing it. She wouldn't exactly admit to it but Howard figured it became her ex-boyfriend Tony. Oops. Mr. X. Robin just giggled when Howard delivered him up so I'm assuming that he turned into the man she changed into considering. She also said that she thinks approximately Richard Gere and some newscaster from New York whilst she pleasures herself. Corey Feldman Wins F-Emmy For ''Best Celebrity Fight''. 10/1/ninety seven. Eight:10am This 12 months's F-Emmy awards goes to final all the time I suppose.. Here were the nominees for ''Best Celebrity Fight'': Corey Feldman fights with his father about the cash his father stole from him. Carol Shaya fights with Gary approximately doing a Lesbian kiss on the air. Jackie fights with Rodney Dangerfield approximately money that he borrowed from him. Corey Feldman changed into the winner so he changed into on the phone to just accept. He gave his reputation speech however rambled on a chunk too lengthy so Howard needed to cut him off. Howard became in a hurry so he did not spend too much time talking to him. Fran Drescher Comes In. 10/1/97. 8:35am Fran Drescher was in to plug the season finest of her CBS display ''The Nanny'' which airs tonight. Howard stated that she's looking exceptional and he or she changed into dressed quite attractive. Howard had to find out more approximately her marriage breakup. She and her husband these days broke up but got again together as buddies because they are commercial enterprise partners. She said nowadays that she's nonetheless properly pals with him however she has slept with more than one different men for the reason that their breakup. One guy she had sex with within the back of a limo! She failed to get into an excessive amount of element about that though. She and Howard additionally spent a quick time talking approximately the tabloid magazines and the way photographers chase celebrities.
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