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How to Talk to Kids about Cancer
Conversations with children can be difficult, but the right mindset and tools can help. Tania Amardeil
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reaking the news about a cancer diagnosis to children is tough – but essential. For Aisha Quashie, diagnosed with stage 3 non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in November 2019, sharing her diagnosis with her kids — 16-year-old Amari and 11-yearold Ayana — was one of the most challenging parts of her journey. “Cancer feels like such an adult subject,” says Aisha. “You always want to seem like you have things together — that you’re strong and can handle anything. You don’t want to show weakness because they need you to take care of them.” Explaining her diagnosis and treatment plan to her children was emotional, but Aisha is glad that she chose to approach the discussion with honesty and vulnerability. “When I told them, they broke down,” says Aisha. “They were really scared but being honest helped. I was upfront about what to expect, and the treatment I’d go through.
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I reinforced the fact that I was going to get better and be OK.” Alyssa Gallant, Certified Child Life Specialist at the Nanny Angel Network, which provides free, specialized, childcare resources for mothers with cancer, echoes this sentiment. “Parents think that if they keep their cancer diagnosis from their children, their children will be more protected and feel less sad,”
to your kids’ questions and prepared to help them manage. “It’s important to let kids know there’s someone they can go to when they have questions,” she says. “If there’s another support person, that can also be helpful.” Lastly, Gallant notes the importance of using age-appropriate language and correct terminology (like tumour, chemotherapy, or surgery), when speaking to kids, as
As a parent, you always want to seem like you have things together — that you’re strong and can handle anything. she says. “Often… it’s the opposite. When children have more information, they feel more prepared.” Gallant also notes that because kids are so intuitive, they often already know that something is going on. Having the real facts is better than letting young imaginations run wild. She advises being open
euphemisms can be confusing. Believe in your strength and ability to support your children, cancer diagnosis or not. “It’s tough because you’re going through so much and you have these little people that are looking to you for support,” says Aisha. “It’s OK to let your kids see you not be OK, because that’s life.”
