Overcoming Challenges: Hazing
The Dangers of Hazing By Dr. Mari Ann Callais Nationally-renowned speaker and former National President of Theta Phi Alpha Sorority
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8 F AL L 2017
have worked with college students for my entire professional career. I have studied and researched women’s development, ritual, rites of passage, and hazing. Like most sorority women today, I know that hazing is dangerous and contradicts who we are as sisters and representatives of our organizations. However, it wasn’t always that way. My Story Let me first share my own personal experience with hazing. As a college student, I did not know what I know today about hazing. In the 1980s, we did not have the level of education we have today about the dangers of such activities. When I started college, my frame of reference was from my high school which endorsed freshman initiation. I watched seniors treat freshmen horribly. I am ashamed to admit that, although it felt wrong, I did not stand up and speak out against it. In college, I went on to join my sorority and hazing was a part of that experience. Again, I did not speak up and participated, always with this feeling that it was not right and was hurtful to all involved. Then I read the book Broken Pledges by hazing expert Hank Nuwer. The scales fell from my eyes and I started to understand the damage that hazing inflicts on everyone it touches. Broken Pledges tells the story of a young man who just wanted to belong. He wanted to be a part of something. He died trying to be part of a fraternity. His name was Chuck Stevens. It wasn’t until I met his mother Eileen that I really understood the pain hazing causes, not just to those who are hazed but to everyone around them. At that moment, I decided to learn and educate myself and others on the dangers of hazing. Why is Hazing Dangerous? Hazing is dangerous because it destroys self-confidence and self-worth. Research shows that hazing is often psychological and can cause lifelong harm. Hazing still happens today for many reasons, including people “in power” wanting to make others “earn admission” to their
organization. We see cases where sororities force new members to complete physically-demanding tasks and consume alcohol and drugs as part of hazing rituals. Hazing disrupts the purpose of sisterhood and development. Breaking someone down in order to build yourself up has no place in a sorority experience. Joining a sorority was never intended to be a situation where women put other women in danger just to belong. It is a time to build others up by treating one another with respect. Working with sorority women, I often hear “we don’t haze.” Fortunately, that is true in most cases. But I also hear stories of sorority women being present when hazing occurs and saying nothing. Being there when someone is being hazed and not speaking up is condoning it. “See something, say something” should guide our actions as members of the fraternity/sorority community. Supporting New Members What is our intention when we select new members? Is it to fill our chapters with numbers, or is it to provide a lifetime of support, learning, and education? Is it about fitting in, or is it about friendship? One of the most amazing experiences for a new member is the chance to feel like they belong. College can be an intimidating place, especially for new students. New member education can guide and teach new members what they need to know to have a positive college experience and ultimately grow as people. It is a time for peer-to-peer mentoring to be put into action. Here are some tips that I have found to work over the years: 1. Speak up. If you see something, say something. 2. Be aware of how you speak to a new member. Language and tone are key to making someone feel valued. 3. Set expectations of what it means to be a sorority member. New member education can build a foundation for being engaged. Build understanding and skill sets by being clear and leading by example. 4. Regularly check in on new members. Let them know you care. Offer to help with classes and navigating campus, and introduce them to others. 5. Help them be part of the chapter. Attend events with them and share your own positive chapter stories. Your job is to help the new members become a part of the community. The only way this happens is by helping them to create quality relationships built on trust and support.