Ask Martha
Dear Martha,
I have an overly chatty neighbor who lives down the street. She often drops by unexpectedly — usually after 5 p.m. The last thing I want to do when I get home from work is make small talk with an acquaintance. I try to drop hints that I’m not interested, but she hasn’t caught on. What do you suggest? — Nagged by a Neighbor in Newark
ISTOCK:
People who monopolize conversations often don’t take subtle social cues. In this case, you’ll need to go a more direct route. Next time she shows up at your door, say the following: “I appreciate you stopping by. Unfortunately, after 5 p.m. is when I get a lot of personal tasks accomplished, so I’m not always available to talk. Please excuse me, but I need to get back to sending some emails.” If she seems caught off guard, tell her you’ll stop by her house in the near future to continue the conversation. Here’s the thing about a chatty Cathy: she will always find someone else. Ideally, it’ll be the neighbor down the street who also likes to talk. — Martha
NEW ROOMIES. BAD DÉCOR. I’m a recent graduate moving into my first apartment in July. I’ll be sharing the space with two other roommates, both of whom have been living in the apartment for a year. Here’s the catch: the décor in the shared living space is ugly. What’s the rule on changing it up or making suggestions? — Moving to Madison Whether these women are your close friends, acquaintances or complete strangers, you need to approach the situation carefully. You mentioned a key word in your question: “shared.” Spaces like the 3 8
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Martha Emily Foote Crow The first National President of Alpha Phi International, Martha was also an education administrator and the fourth Alpha Phi to serve as dean of women at Northwestern University.
kitchen, living room and dining room are exactly that — shared. Feel free to get creative with your personal space: add string lights, create a gallery wall or choose a bold print for your bedspread. As for communal spaces, you should always consult with your roommates before making drastic changes, whether it’s swapping out a rug, painting a wall or hanging up new artwork. You can tactfully suggest alternatives, but be ready to compromise. That’s part of life, especially when you’re a newcomer. – Martha
the rule on white after Labor Day? — Planning Ahead in Pittsburgh In my day, there were dress codes for every occasion. With contemporary fashion, the rules are more flexible. That being said, it is acceptable to wear white after Labor Day. In this instance, it’s less about color and more about fabric choice. Make sure the material is appropriate for the location, season, weather and above all — the occasion. – Martha
WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY? September is quickly approaching. What’s
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