Fowl of the Grieving- Madeline Jones…………..……….…28 The Night Terrors- Johniya Barnes……………..……….…31 Happiness- Roxanna Davis

Happiness

By Roxanna Davis

I imagine the prospect of true happiness to be a pleasant one, though ‘pleasant’ isn’t the word I’m looking for. Perhaps it’s a contented state of being, or maybe a satisfied one. Satisfied with everything I’ve done? Still, it doesn’t sound truly happy. To me, being happy is something I feel for the rest of my life, at least, once I achieve it.

If I achieve it, I suppose.

I’ve been told, however, that happiness isn’t a constant state of being— it’s an emotion. Emotions are temporary and everchanging. I wonder why I can be happy one moment and sad the next, why one disapproving look from my parents turns that lighterthan-air feeling in my stomach to a rock weighing down my entire being. I’ve been told that emotions aren’t on different spectrums, but on one, all right next to each other.

Therefore, what I desire isn’t happiness, but fulfillment— becoming whole. I think those are the words I’m looking for. Instead of trying to find something that seems so unattainable, something with so many qualifications, finding wholeness and fulfillment is doable.

Perhaps it’s taking time out of my day to sit outside on a sunny day and feeling, just for a moment, like I am unburdened. Or maybe just drinking tea on a break from work. It only has to be comfortable, a start at something more. It only has to be enough.