Never Forever- Kennedie Owens…………………..………19 Finding Me- Deven Jackson Point Break on the Isle of Solitude- Harris Noland….....…22

Finding Me

By Deven Jackson

Imagine a perfectly healthy nine-year-old boy playing on the ground with his toys, not a care in the world. Suddenly, he can’t get up because his left leg is trembling and shaking violently. That nine-year-old boy was me, and in the following days, I would come to find out that I had had a seizure due to a malignant tumor that had grown over the sensory nerves on my brain. At the ripe old age of nine, I was rather forcefully thrust into a world that was made up of doctors, nurses, operations, medications, and the possibility of death. I was forced to come to terms with real-world everyday problems that I thought I had years of mistakes and experience to prepare me for. I had to worry about small crucial things, such as wondering if I forgot to take a pill before I left, or did I bring extra meds, what was my last white count, and was I too close to that man that coughed? I also had huge things on my heart such as mourning my friends that didn’t make it, and wondering if I would ever walk again, or talk without a stutter or lisp.

When it felt like my world was falling apart and that I was going to drown in this new and almost extraterrestrial life of tubes and wires, I had to reach a point. I was around twelve years old when I had to decide whether I’d let myself succumb to the feelings of dread and sadness that had ever so slowly crept into my heart due to this unjust and cruel disease. Or would I allow myself to be the strong, passionate, and independent person that I had always wanted to be in spite of the sickness that had dominated so much of my early life?

At this turning point, I did make a decision and allowed myself to become the person that I had tucked away for so long. I finally allowed myself to ask the questions that I had feared as a result of my religious upbringing. During my battle with cancer, I was thrust into a Christian-dominated world, which made my experience with coming out even more difficult. With my future being so uncertain, yet having gone through so much, I was able to be true to myself and my closest friends and come out of the closet as and identify myself as a gay teen. Having watched so many friends pass away at such a young age and with the possibility that I might relapse, or that I could pass away, I did not want to live a life in which I was untrue to myself and those that mean the most to me.

I attribute my level-headedness to my necessary and accelerated maturity. Through less than ideal circumstances, I have been able to build myself into the person that I am today. Everything that has happened to me has made me “a good man to have in a storm.” The strength and compassion that I had to instill in myself will ensure that I stand up for myself and others, always. I know that I can bend but won’t break in the face of the many challenges that life has ahead of me.

Point Break on The Island of Solitude

By Harris Noland

I sat half-drunk, in fourths, on the night that God cried Gazing listless at the fading peaks atop what some call home As the last shard of heaven fell down from the sky She sang, a song more beautiful than any I had ever known

Wooden stairs begged as I worked the winds of hell Her song guiding my aching bones to a light fall in the sand I caught sight of flesh wrapped tight around a slender shell Into shock I fell, lending kisses to line her hand

Once serene sounds descended to waves of pain She laughed as she pulled me close and opened her face Skins pushed together, blood curdling within both frames I saw the last of mine as all I once knew began to fade

A light in the dark, it called my name Paralyzed on the only night I wished to become lucid The light began to flicker, everything moved away Darkness hugged tightly, I fell to the abyss