TV Times, Vol. 1, No. 2 by Alice Jacobson

The TV Times Vol. 1, No. 2 December 2020

I’ve Stopped Hate-watching “The Gilmore Girls”

Alice Jacobson Writer/editor alicejacobson@gmail.com

Mama Lorelei (Lauren Graham) and daughter Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)

I’ve Stopped Hate-Watching “The Gilmore Girls” by Alice Jacobson

I never tuned into the rabidly popular TV show “The Gilmore Girls” during its 2000-07 run. (Perhaps it was the rabid popularity that was off-putting to me; I’m a bit of a contrarian.) But when the coronavirus lockdown confined me to my house in mid-March, my personal TV schedule opened wide for more, more, and yet more TV shows to fill the yawning maw of time that was my new normal. So, I decided to check out the beloved WB comedy series. Then I committed to watching all eight seasons. And finally, I just said “no.” For a few months, I semi-enjoyed, semi-hated watching the manic antics and zany monologues of Lorelei Gilmore, single mother and personal court jester to her ever-indulgent teenage daughter, Rory. Lorelei’s brand of humor can perhaps best be described as uber-caffeinated chatterboxerie. She’d drag Rory to Luke’s diner every morning and rudely demand coffee – pots and pots of it. Lorelei’s sense of humor seemed to be rooted in the comedic stylings of Robin Williams. You remember him: Williams could often be found (before he so shockingly took his own life in 2014) in the guest’s chair of late-night talk shows letting loose with his patented spew of free-association, impersonations, foreign accents, puns, and other arch comedic stylings in a constant attempt to keep the audience in stitches by whatever means necessary. I preferred the more laid-back, droll wit of Robert Klein.

So, I suppose I was never the ideal audience for the relentlessly silly humor of “The Gilmore Girls,” with its whiplashinducing plot twists and the constant yammering of not just Lorelei, but many of the residents of Stars Hollow, Conn. (which was not – not, I say, a retirement community for Borscht Belt comedians). I blame the writers, of course, not the actors. Lauren Graham, as Lorelei, always did an impressive job of hammering the humor home fast and seemingly effortlessly. It takes a great memory to spill Lorelei’s lengthy spiels as rapidly as Graham did. Here’s one of Lorelei’s comic riffs, in which she explores (among other topics) the merits of flirtatiousness and the word “potty.” Others on the show afflicted with the verbal tics of failed comics included the gruff-but-lovable diner owner, Luke Danes (played by the estimable Scott Patterson) and Rory’s impossibly arrogant prep school classmate Paris Geller, played all too convincingly by Liza Weil. As irritating as all these strung-together stand-up monologues were, I vowed, at the beginning of the pandemic, to plow through all seven seasons of the show. But something happened to this admittedly dubious goal sometime around September, when I watched Rory matriculate at Yale (rather than Harvard, which had been her lifelong dream college – and Lorelei’s dream for her). I looked forward to seeing Rory in this seriously intellectual environment, far from the glossolalia-inflicted residents of greater Stars Hollow. So it was with horror that I watched the episode in which Rory moves into her Yale dorm suite. First, we meet one suitemate: a strange and irritating freshman girl who toggles between two modes: semi© 2020 Alice Jacobson

catatonic and rat-a-tat spewer of random facts. But it gets worse. The other suitemate arrives, and wait for it – she looks a lot like – no, exactly like, no it is! None other than the preternaturally annoying Paris Geller from Rory’s prep school! And this is not a coincidence. Paris tells the visibly perturbed Rory that she has quite intentionally followed Rory to New Haven and pulled strings to finagle her way into Rory’s dorm suite, with her personal Paris-whispering life coach in tow. At this point in the story arc, if I were Rory, I’d fall to the floor in a fit of rage, then call the Housing Office and demand to be reassigned. But no. With her usual maddening equanimity, Rory simply accepts her terrible fate. I figured this was probably because Rory had exhibited remarkable tolerance for Paris’ offensive attacks of her and everyone else at their high school. In fact, Paris had inexplicably become Rory’s best school friend. Here’s an Advent Calendar of Paris burns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=924y gito7ys&t=124s. In the first one, Paris asks a young man she meets at a speeddating event, “Was the last time you had an interesting thought when you considered flinging yourself off a building?” That is not necessary, it’s not kind, and it’s not even funny. Classic Paris. That episode when Paris washes up at Yale was a wakeup call for me. It was time to end my self-imposed hate-watching project. I realized I had neither the time nor the desire to sit still for three more seasons of Paris verbally abusing Rory and everyone else who comes within earshot. I’m happy to say, I haven’t watched the show since. I’ve found plenty of Prime and Netflix content to replace “The Gilmore 2

Girls” on my personal TV schedule. I chose shows that are demonstrably not desperate to keep me laughing, that offer welcome moments of quietude between the jokes. Questions? Comments? Want to contribute to The TV Times? Interested in hiring a skilled and versatile writer/editor? Email The TV Times at alicejacobson@gmail.com.

What’s wrong with this picture?? Be the first to email the correct answer to alicejacobson@gmail.com and I’ll send you the link to a great article about Nick Kroll’s Netflix show, “Big Mouth.” The NY Times piece made me “LOL out loud” (to quote the great TV detective Adrian Monk). Hint: the error has nothing to do with politics.