To Comprehend a Nectar BY MARRYAM HALEEM
And when I become ill, then He is the One who heals me.
[Qur’an, 26:80]
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CERTAIN SWEETNESS comes with sickness. It’s the sugar of truth and reality.As for the honeyed truth, it is that you cannot possibly be alone in this world, left to impersonal chance—left and never a thing even to be remembered.The reality is that you are mortal, your life on earth almost insignificant, a fleeing moment, a vanishing dream. Sickness carries a person to a loftier height of realization, shattering the myth that life is merely mundane. We are all taught this fable in our clinically secularized world.We are told that we are only physical beings and that all life is physical and all truth, therefore, must be physical, as well.The judges of truth, they say, are only our senses (the physical ones that is—for they claim we have no others).And we insensately believe it. But then we fall ill and our education (read: indoctrination) falls to pieces.As our bodies break down, we become more aware of them. If it is our stomachs that feel the ailment, we suddenly realize how very central it is:We use its muscles when we walk, when we talk, when we breathe, even when we lift a finger. Physical weakness makes clear the miracle of walking: the perfectly choreographed dance between the muscles of the toes and heals and legs and hips.And if pain strikes our heads, only then do we become cognizant of its complexity:The canals and cavities in our skulls, the action and intensity in that small place where most of our sensory organs are packed.
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And none of it has anything to do with us.We neither control nor comprehend those universes we call our bodies.We lose faith in our flesh as we recognize the inherit temporality and feebleness of our bodies and our physical world.And so, added to the agonies of illness and the frustrations of its handicaps is the emotional heartbreak of disillusionment and abandonment. But we must beware not to lose faith altogether when sickness strikes, not to feel abandoned by all.This is, indeed, a mighty trial, however,—probably more so than the illness itself. I for one am grateful that our Sustainer has unveiled this in His divine revelation. And I am grateful to Prophet Ayyub, Job, on him be peace, for being such a worthy and patient exemplar. For he too fell painfully ill. He too was abandoned by all that we take comfort in—his health, his family, his wealth. And still he clung to faith in his Lord with all his being: “And mention, as well, the tiding of Job. Behold! He cried out to his Lord: Indeed, unbear-
able ailment has touched me, and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful!” [21:83]. The secret to his unwavering hope and trust in God lies in the impeccable state of health of one, single organ. It, unlike all the others, has senses not limited to the laws of a physical world: It is the heart. And sickness sets it free from its bodily prison.The degeneration of the body gives the heart a chance to grow tender and sincere. Sickness gives the heart a sorely needed imperative to incline toward purity. Pain gives it reason to reach out daringly for something transcendent. Our hearts reaffirm what our sicknesses have taught us:We are dependent beings and cannot depend on our physical reality. It is too weak and temporary. Our hearts reaffirm to us that we cannot possibly be the sovereigns of our own souls let alone the apex of all existence. It steals into us the loving truth that Someone must lord over us, Someone self-sufficient, over and above all. And thus the hearts of the sick grow calm. We know we are not alone. We’ve read the signs and are empowered by our weakness.We have a better Caretaker.The doubts we experience with our bodies dispel any doubts about our Creator. As we lessen our faith in Physicalism (the disbelieving faith of our secular society), we strengthen our faith in the Manifest and the Hidden. It is true that sickness was the trial of Prophet Ayyub, on him be peace. But it was also something much more than this to him. It was his road to everlasting and eternal honor, in this life and the next: So “We answered him, and We removed whatever ailment was upon him.Thus We gave back to him the joy of his family—and, along with them, the like of them besides—as a mercy from Us—and a reminder of God’s relief for the devout worshipers of God who endure patiently” [21:84].