REBOUND COMING BACK HOME

APew Research Center report found the percentage of adults aged 18 to 31 who live in their parents’ home increased in 2012 to 36 percent, up from 32 percent in 2007. It’s the greatest share in at least four decades.

Pundits often refer to these adult children, sometimes in a derogatory tone, as the “boomerang generation.” Whatever you label them, boomerangers are returning home in record numbers. As a brutal job market makes it hard for young adults to get a toehold — even pushing some middle-aged professionals on to the unemployment line — many college graduates and even older adults have few options except to return to their childhood bedrooms while they look for work. In addition to loss of a job, other good reasons might include a child’s divorce or temporary separation, or a significant medical challenge.

Let’s assume the returning adult offspring has done the requisite soul searching and reflecting, considered all other options, and decided he or she has no other choice but to “come back home.” For most, it’s a lifestyle choice they’d prefer to not make. Most people, once they experience the independence and joys of adulthood on their own, would be reluctant to have to give up their hard-earned autonomy and move back in with in their parents. But, as the saying goes, when handed lemons, you turn them into lemonade.

It probably would not be hard to come up with some of your own negatives to moving back in with Mom and Dad. But as the song goes: “You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative.” The situation can be beneficial for both parties if handled correctly.

We’re not encouraging growth of the adult boomerang population, simply offering some potential positive benefits if, in fact, parents and adult children have made that very difficult decision to live under the same roof once again:

Perhaps the most obvious way parents can help is to charge manageable rent. A different twist on that might be for the parents to consider keeping a portion of that rent and depositing the remainder for the child’s benefit in a special savings account (with or without the adult child knowing about it). Then, when the time comes for the boomeranger to leave, the money can be refunded. The rent money from boomerangers can also benefit parents with depleted retirement savings and tight budgets of their own.

If you have an informal arrangement under which your adult child pays you some rent each month while back home, you typically don’t need to declare it as taxable income. As long as cash payments back and forth do not exceed the $13,000 amount required for filing a gift tax return, nothing typically needs to be done.

Spending some time living together as adults changes the nature of the relationship between parents and their adult children, often with lasting results. Both generations get a chance to see each other as adults with real goals, dreams and insights. Through open and honest communication, parents have a precious and wonderful opportunity to really get to know their children as adults.

Want resources for ways to make it work?

Try these:

“BiteYourTongue:HowtoFoster RewardingRelationshipsWithYour AdultChildren”by Ruth Nemzoff, who holds a doctorate in social policy from Harvard University and raised four children. Nemzoff discusses the importance of establishing open and very clear lines of communication from the very beginning, which lessens the chance of future misunderstanding.

“UnderOneRoofAgain:AllGrown Upand(Re)learningtoLiveTogether Happily”by Susan Newman, a Ph.D. who offers nuts-and-bolts advice for avoiding pitfalls and building stronger family ties when adult children return back home.

Finally, for the parents who might be a bit skeptical or reluctant to take the kids back in temporarily, consider that one day the roles might reverse and it might be they having to ask to move back in with the children.

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