FINAL THOUGHT

DON’T LET THE HOLIDAYS GET YOU DOWN

STORY: LEIGH NEELY I used to love watching the holiday episodes of “Roseanne.” They were always chaotic, family-centered meals that closely resembled the ones in the house where I grew up. We had some real characters (as most families do), and I have memories of some great holiday meals.

Though my father had only one brother, my mother came from a family of 10 children. Each of those children had anywhere from two to 10 children themselves. This meant our family gatherings were as funny and miserable as some of the meals at Roseanne’s table. Whether we were there for the holidays or Sunday dinner, it was always an event.

My grandfather built a huge wooden table in their side yard, and it would be full of pots, bowls, and platters of the best food anywhere. All my aunts were wonderful cooks, and they always tried to outdo one another, which meant we had everything from pot roast with all the trimmings to fresh green beans cooked with ham to homemade coconut cake with seven-minute frosting.

The yard was huge so all of us cousins, many of us around the same age, would play tag or hide and seek until our mothers had the table fi lled and the men had discussed hunting and politics. I realize this sounds like a story from that guy who created “The Waltons,” but I promise you it’s true. Good times. Invariably, there would be a family squabble about something. Fixing a meal with six to eight different cooks who all thought they were the best usually meant some nitpicking.

“Mildred always leaves the salt out of her food. It’s like eating bland mush.” “Mae made the cornbread too dry again. I keep telling her you don’t need that much cornmeal.” “Claudia’s roast was tough today. I thought Ralph’s false teeth were going to fall out.” And then when you knew something was seriously wrong with a dish, you’d hear, “Bless her heart, she always scorches her green beans. Today, they’re burned to the bottom of the pan.” When the meal was almost fi nished and everyone was enjoying dessert, the last aunt would arrive. I can never remember a time when she arrived and ate when everyone else did

My grandfather b unless we were eating at her house, wooden table in th and even then, she’d be cooking right it would be full of up until time to serve. platters of the best She always brought some kind of All my aunts were Jell-o congealed salad and mincemeat and they always tr pie. I never had much love for either one another, which of those things so it was no great loss everything from po to me. However, my Uncle Clifford the trimmings to fr loved that mincemeat pie. I think it cooked with ham t was because he was a tee-totaling nut cake with seve Baptist, and my aunt fermented the

The yard was hug mincemeat. At any rate, he was alins, many of us aro ways much happier after three pieces would play tag or h of mincemeat pie. our mothers had th Finally, we’d all load up our cars the men had discu again, after trading leftovers and politics. I realiz sharing desserts. All the kids would story from tha crawl into the backseats and fall “The Walton asleep because we’d been going you it’s tru nonstop all afternoon. I’d sleep all Invaria the way home, wake up long enough a fami to change into my pajamas, brush my som teeth, and crawl into bed. m There you have it, the ingredients for a successful family or holiday meal—a lot of food, a little fun, and a bit of fuss so everybody knows they’re well loved.