Confidence

CHAPTER 7 THE MOTIVATIONAL FACTORS

CONFIDENCE

Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you are driving this self-assurance train and it is ready to depart from the station.

1. Look the part: If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you will start to feel like a winner, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confidence is. Try these tricks: Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you are presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.

2. Dress for confidence: You do not have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you are clean, comfortable, and feel good, you are set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!

3. Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside

appearance: Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confident without basing it on appearance.

After all, you would not wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.

4. Perfect your posture: How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you’re telling them that you’re confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you will be approached as one by the world around you.

You will not only fool everyone else - you will fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way - so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.

5. Smile: Keep your grin in easy reach - you would be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. Research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who is scowling? No, thank you.

If you’re worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you’re genuinely happy to see them - or just

happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills - flash those pearly white teeth.

6. Make eye contact: It is a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Do not be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation.

You would not want to be rude or disrespectful.

Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, and show-case our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. You will come off as more likable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. If you cannot do it for you, do it for them!

7. Have approachable body language: If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you going to come up and say hello?

Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you are approachable!

8. Keep your body open: If you have your arms and legs crossed, you are telling the world that you are not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it is clear you are preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.