Start Thinking Confidently about yourself

9. Do not be too self-conscious about your body language.

When you start feeling confident, you will naturally start to improve your posture.

10. Hold your gaze: Now that you have gotten the eye contact thing down, it is time to put it into practice.

Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They are uncomfortable too! I am not advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile and you are off the hook.

START THINKING CONFIDENTLY ABOUT YOURSELF a. Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down:

No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at.

Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality. b. Think back on compliments from other people: What have they told you about you that you otherwise have not noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they have remarked

on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.

c. Remember past accomplishments: It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!

d. Think about the qualities you try to cultivate: No one is perfect, but if you are actively trying to be honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for the effort.

The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you are humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.

e. Now write down everything you can think of and

refer to it next time you are feeling down: Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.

f. Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your

confidence: Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? The answers are “no” and

“yes,” respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It does not.

Here is an example: You did not get good grades on your last math test, so as a result, you are not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you

studied hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have zero reasons not to be confident.

g. Remember that everyone struggles with confidence:

Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You are not alone! And if you can think of someone confident, odds are there is a situation they are not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.

Here is a fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking into things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you do not have to be perfect all the time.

Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You do not have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you cannot completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.

h. See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement:

Having confidence is not a finish line you cross once, and the process will not always move forward — there will

be days when you feel like you are starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you have already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you did not do anything.

i. Odds are you will not realize you are confident until

you are already: Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So, if you do not see immediate changes, know that it is just because you are too close to the painting. Cannot see the forest through the trees type of thing. You get it.

j. Tap into that confidence that you were born with: it is there, it is just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture they do not matter. They have nothing to do with you. “You” is good. “You” exists apart from any other judgment.

k. Get out of your head: A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Do not you want to be a part of it?

So much of the world exists outside your head we are going with the assumption that reality is as it seems.

Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like