Rethinking Retirement: The Evolving Generational/ Cultural Role of The ‘Sandwich Generation’ Caregiver

By Carroll Golden , CLU, ChFC, LACP, CLTC, CASL, FLMI

s we move through life’s stages, families (however you define family) take care of one another. It’s what family is all about. Over the years and throughout decades, we plan and prepare for the next step of caring until we plan for “retirement.” Modern-day retirement developed due to a combination of increased life spans, advances in medicine and the treatment of diseases, growing popularity of pension plans in certain sectors, and the onset of government-sponsored benefits in 1935 with the creation of Social Security.

Retirement Phases

Nowadays, the term retirement can refer to a period that may stretch out for 20 or 30 years. We generally accept that there are three common phases to “retirement.” How quickly you pass thorough the stages is influenced by your resources and health. In phase one, you may travel or pursue other activities that you put off due to family and career responsibilities. The next phase may involve finding a community or living style that is more routine or “settled.” The third phase sees the effect of aging, but we still call it retirement. We haven’t developed a word to describe this stage when retirement years morph into aging, an increase in dependency or needing support. It’s still just ‘retirement.’ While most of us do some planning for the first two phases, we shy away from planning for the third phase. We don’t include preparation for long term care needs in our retirement plan. Somehow, the topic throws us for a loop. Why is preparing for this phase of “retirement” so daunting and intimidating?

Conversation With A Caregiver

A friend of mine is an advisor. He told me that he received a distressed call from a client. He was a bit puzzled and concerned since he had sold his client a life insurance policy and collaborated with other NAIFA members who helped his client with investment allocation and other risk products. Let me share with you how the conversation went.

“Hi Tom, I hope you and yours are well. How can I help you?”

“Well, it’s not exactly me that needs help. It’s my mom. She retired and things were fine for a while. But lately, she is starting to show signs of aging. Each year, she gets less steady on her feet. She won’t hear of moving out of her place. So, I have been taking time off work to help. My daughter and son are also getting involved. Frankly, it’s affecting my ability to do my job, squeezing my budget, and stressing out my kids! I feel caught in a vise.”

“I understand Tom. I’m glad you called. You sound as if you’re caught in the ‘sandwich generation’ syndrome. Given how long people are living into ‘retirement,’ the ‘sandwich generation’ is now both multigenerational and multicultural. Let me arrange a call to discuss available options to help your mom, you and your family. I suggest we include your children as understanding and communication are essential.”

“I probably need to include my brother who is also busy and doesn’t live close by. But we all need to be on the same page.”

“Right! How are you on a personal level, Tom?”

“Are you kidding! I hate to admit it, but I am burned out. I don’t want my mom to feel like a burden, but this juggling act is getting to me.”

Like Tom, caregiving is probably not a role for which you or your clients are trained: 49% of caregivers experience feelings of depression, 57% find it difficult to sleep on a regular basis, and 46% have gained or lost weight as a result of caring for others. Will Tom be one of the 30 % of caregivers who end up providing care for less than a year, or will it take him away from other family members for multiple years?

More family caregivers are in the workforce — some 60% work full- or part-time in addition to their caregiving responsibilities. Without a plan for handling extended and long-term care needs, caregivers face substantial economic risk from loss of income, benefits, contributions to their own retirement savings or reduced Social Security benefits.

Clients like Tom, caught in the “sandwich generation,” are turning to trusted advisors for advice. COVID-19 served as a wake-up call! We cannot avoid recognizing that there are profound changes for the extended or long-term care industry and services on the horizon. Most of us and our clients are not well prepared to face them. Whether short or long, chances are you or someone in your family will need some level of extended or long-term care. Without family involvement, will Tom know if his mother is a victim of lottery scams or online fraud? Will his mother be among the 95% of people who say they are willing or want to talk about their end-of-life wishes, but don’t have a way to do so?

Help Instead Of Handle

If you start the conversation early, it’s about how to help instead of how to handle. Tom’s family spans three adult generations — plenty of room for misunderstanding, misinterpretation and a lack of actionable knowledge. Good communication is key to success in any undertaking but especially when dealing across generations and cultures. In personally caring or arranging for care for friends or family members, individuals need to be understood for who they are, keeping in mind that life experiences leave a permanent mark and differ greatly from one generation and culture to another.

It’s hard to see a loved one lose their vitality but unbearable to know, as an advisor, you could have made the aging and care process for your client and his family more physically, financially and emotionally solid by advanced planning.

Wanting to offer some immediate assistance for Tom, his advisor considers the expanding role of technology in the healthcare sector. Advances in telemedicine abound. Sensors are coming to the aid of caregivers who distance monitor family members and physicians who collect on-going data and remote patient monitoring. These include wearables and smart technologies. There are sensors that will change how we handle our own and a loved-one’s well-being. Wearable sensors keep tabs on our body (Garmin, Fitbit and Apple watches). Field sensors track us as we move (smart phones and digital photogrammetric devices). This will be especially helpful for Tom’s mom, who is developing an unsteady gait. Episodic sensors (blood pressure cuffs) are reactive, and along with the other sensors, they provide data analytic information used for proactive planning.

The advisor calls Tom. “Tom, I want to discuss how technology devices may be helpful. Let’s talk about what will provide you with options to help manage your mom’s safety and wellbeing while we create a longer-term plan.”

“Sounds good. I know I should have thought about technological aids, but I’ve just been overwhelmed. Thank you! I already feel better knowing we have something to discuss for the immediate while we review a long-range plan.”

By The Numbers

According to a November 2019 AARP Public Policy Institute (PPI) report, in 2017, about 41 million unpaid family caregivers provided an estimated 34 billion hours of care — worth $470 billion — to their parents, spouses, partners and friends. The report explores the growing scope and complexity of caregiving today, which includes an aging population, more family caregivers in the paid workforce, and an increasing amount of medical and nursing tasks that caregivers now provided at home. Family caregivers often experience positive effects and feelings of satisfaction and meaning. But the bigger story is that they typically feel highly strained and overwhelmed.

By the numbers, here is what a recent survey by Cambria Health Solutions found:

• 36% of caregivers are 18-to-34year-olds

• 62% are married or living with their partner

• Caregivers are almost evenly split between women 53% and men 47%

• 54% of caregivers are employed fulltime or part-time

• 58% have a child in the household

• 24% of caregivers provide care for both a child (under the age of 18) and an adult (over the age of 18)

• 64% of caregivers use at least one digital tool to help manage their caregiving responsibilities.

Do you see yourself or one of your clients in the list? Take action:

1. Start the conversation early so you can ‘help’ instead of ‘handle’

2. Work with other specialists, agents and specialty centers to create a supportive “knowledge” community

3. Set an example for your clients: plan for how you will handle extended and long-term care needs when you retire, and tell them you did so!