Leadership in Life Institute: Transformation and Resilience

By Brendan Bernat

Iam occasionally reminded that no one serves on the board of a homeowners association because it sounds like a good time. Rather, the homeowner sacrifices time and effort to do what needs to be done (or as is often the case, fix what is not being done) to improve life in the community.

This sense of service is woven deeply into the fabric of leadership. As NAIFA’s Leadership in Life Institute (LILI) embarks on its 21st year of forming NAIFA leaders, a desire to strengthen the NAIFA community is a motivating force for over 3,000 LILI graduates. However, the LILI appeal goes far beyond this call to service. While LILI students and graduates care tremendously about NAIFA, the program’s staying power is also due to the experience of collaboration and transformation.

A few examples pulled from LILI’s curriculum illustrate just what makes LILI transformative.

The Eulogy

It is common for philosophers to be depicted in paintings sitting in their studies with a skull on their desk. Such a skull is commonly referred to as a “memento mori” or remembrance of death. The purpose is to provide a reminder that time passes quickly, so we should use our time so that we do not end up out of time and with regrets. Within LILI there is a written and, in a sense, living memento mori. It is called the eulogy.

Inspired by Stephen Covey, writing one’s own eulogy is a requirement for graduation from LILI. A eulogy is not an obituary. Rather a eulogy reflects how we lived and how we want to be remembered. An examined life also causes us to reflect on our most important relationships and whether we are giving those closest to us the best version of ourselves. The eulogy can be both a wakeup call and a path to the examined life.

Community

Past NAIFA President Tom Wolff wrote about the importance of human connection in the sales and advising process. He asked his readers how often they are allowed to spend a significant amount of time doing nothing but talking about themselves. Who would be willing to spend so much time listening?

Self-disclosure provides us with understanding and human connection. Besides, we have such interesting and important stories to share. Within a LILI class you are both the talker (about yourself) and the supportive listener at different times. The foundation is acceptance and trust that slowly takes the risk out of sharing. In LILI this trust is gained over time in a small community of one’s professional peers.

Good To Great Principles

These principles are named for the book “Good to Great” by Jim Collins. While all the principles are important, a favorite of mine is The Stockdale Paradox. This is named for Admiral James Stockdale, who was a prisoner of war in North Vietnam for over seven years. This principle is summarized as: “Confront the brutal facts but maintain unflagging optimism.” As Stockdale explained, the prisoners who set fixed milestones for getting released suffered the most. When these arbitrary dates came and went, they were presented with a brutal fact that they were not willing to accept: They did not really know when, if ever, they would be released. However, optimism preserves hope. Admiral Stockdale did maintain unflagging optimism. He survived captivity and was released on February 12, 1973.

In 2020 the world was faced with the transformative challenge of a global pandemic and LILI grads did well to ponder the vital lessons of the Stockdale Paradox. LILI classes continued, often virtually, and resilience became a de facto LILI principle. It was a time to ask ourselves how we wanted to be remembered for how we handled a crisis. How did we want to remember ourselves?

Now in 2021 NAIFA is poised to launch an online LILI class especially designed for online learning and interaction. This new online LILI is in line with NAIFA’s Strategic Plan and will bring LILI to even more students. It will cut across geographic barriers and remove the obstacle of physical distance.

“Invictus” by William Ernest Henley is both a poem and the name of a LILIcurriculum movie starring Morgan Freeman. “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” Both the movie and the poem are part of LILI for the simple fact that they belong in LILI; they illustrate LILI concepts.

However, I propose that following the year of resilience we look to another LILI-like poem, “If” by Rudyard Kipling. “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs… If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same…”

If you can, you will have gained the perspective of a leader.

The LILI program is housed under NAIFA’s Talent Development Center, an online space focused on providing resources and tools to help advisors be their personal and professional best. Learn more about LILI on the NAIFA website at tdc.naifa.org/lili.