A PREFACE TO ‘LOVE ISN’T’ Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence discussed in preface & poem Let me be blunt about a few devastating facts. On average, one woman a week in Australia dies at the hands of a current or former partner. At the time of writing, we are at the beginning of our 19th week of 2022, and 18 women have been murdered. We know that according to a government literature review in 2019, men account for 75-94% of all perpetrators of domestic violence. Although it seems obvious in reading those statistics, it is important to recognise that domestic violence (DV) is a national crisis. DV comes in many forms and does not always present itself in such a physically violent manner. There are often no bruises or cuts or handprints to point to. And it can be that very narrow media representation of DV that leads so many victims / survivors to invalidate their own experience. Or indeed, even once this barrier is overcome, victims / survivors are further invalidated by police who are not adequately trained, and the legal system who have yet to reform to a degree that serves all. In preparing for Elle Dit this year, I struggled to know how to write about my experience with DV, because in all honesty I am still trying to comprehend it myself. But I knew that this was something I had to do. I knew I wanted to write about it, because I understood the importance and impact of feeling seen. Of knowing – as someone who experienced and witnessed domestic violence in its emotional form – that my story, my trauma, was just as valid. I came to conclude that the best way for me to tell my story, in the place that I am now, is the same way I have always relied on expressing and indeed healing from my past. Through poetry. And so this is part of my story, in Love isn’t. If this piece raises anything for you, please know that you can reach out to the following resources: 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 UofA Counselling (non-emergency) North Terrace / Waite - +61 8313 5633 Roseworthy - +61 8313 7932 UofA’s Mental Health Triage (emergency) - 131 465
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