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SURVIVORS GUIDE TO MARRIAGE Warning: You’ll want to stay with your partner after reading this
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DIRECTIONS: This guide was written in collaboration with the talented Judith Brown, who was married to Martyn, an amazing man for 59 years.
Marriage is similar to a river. There will be moments when you can see sharp rocks and glass in shallow waters, but if you turn a corner, you’ll be presented with beautiful, deep calm waters. Disclaimer: This has been created for entertainment purposes and cannot be used as substitution for professional help. Violence is never acceptable in any situation.
1.COMMUNICATION Remember you are two different people, misunderstandings can occur! For instance, two people look at a mountain, one says “it’s too steep to climb" the other says, “it’s lovely green plateaus" and they are both telling the truth. They are looking at different sides of the mountain without realising it. MORAL: Always check what you think you are hearing, is what your partner thinks they are saying .
2.LAUGHING IS IMPORTANT A couple that can laugh together, can stay together, through the slumps and curves of a relationship.
3.PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING There may be a period of time, when you need to support your partner, or vice versa, but understand that everything becomes balanced in the end.
When you can’t find the words, cuddle each other.
Oxytocin is released when you hug someone, creating a natural bond and increasing feelings of warmth and trust.
4.HUG OFTEN
5.INDEPENDENCE • You couldn’t expect to eat chocolate forever and be nourished. So why expect this from your partner? • Not one person can provide you with everything you need, so always have your own interests and/or hobbies.
6. LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX? Sex can fade but if you’re patient, it will turn into something deep and nourishing. You’re human, and will be attracted to someone else. It doesn’t mean you need to act on it!
7.TRY TO SEE IT THEIR WAY Try walking in their shoes for a minute? You may think you know, but there’s always more than meets the eye. Hold onto your temper during an argument. You can’t take back what you’ve said in the heat of the moment.
8.FRIENDSHIP Love, respect and cherish one another, through the commitment you made.