Lane County MOM | Aug / Sept 2023

COVER MOM JOY O’RENICK

BACK-TO-SCHOOL JITTERS ...OR IS IT ANXIETY?

TOO MANY TOMATOES IS A GOOD PROBLEM

Lane County’s premier birth center offering pregnancy, labor and delivery, postpartum, lactation, newborn, gynecology and wellness care. Certified Nurse Midwives provide a personalized evidence-based experience in a boutique setting.

Co-Directors collectively have 30 years of experience caring for birthing families

Crystal Massey, CNM, MSN

Kelly Rickman, CNM, DNP

meet the experts

Motherhood

Journey to Motherhood with Kelly Rickman, page 6

Focus

Focus on MOM with Dr. David Hackett, page 7

Beyond the Bin

Beyond the Bin with WasteWise Lane County & Joshua Frankel, page 10

Support

Support for Families with Audrey Benson, page 18

Smile

Something to Smile About with Dr. Erin Estep, page 8

Pets

Pets are Family with Dr. Erica Harmon, page 25

Vacation

Vacation MOM with Donnita Bassinger, CTC, MCC, page 20

Say Cheese

Say Cheese with Dr. Brad Chvatal, page 9

They know what they’re talking about

Because I said so!

Publisher

Matthew Nelson, Active Media, Inc

PO Box 672, Aurora OR 97002-0672 info@activemediausa.com

503-825-2100

Editor-in-Chief

Managing Director

Audrey Meier DeKam audrey@mommag.com

Mid-Valley & Lane County Business Development Manager

Linda Blair linda@mommag.com

541-231-7250

Salem Advertising

Representative

Kim Leighty kim.leighty@mommag.com

503-510-9036

Designer

Sean Carver sean@activemediausa.com

No need for an invisibility cloak

I’m already a middle-aged mom

I used to think Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak would be a wondrous thing to have. Imagine sneaking around unnoticed wherever you go. Then I turned 40 and realized I didn’t need one because I was suddenly invisible to society.

At first I greeted this new knowledge with sadness, but now at age 50 I realize what power it contains. Because middle-aged women can move through almost all levels of society without being noticed, we make for terrific spies. No one remembers us in the periphery, making snacks or shopping for shin guards.

The government should hire us as confidential informants. We move among the people, like whispers. We are providers of food and logistics, we are liaisons to schools and health care, yet we work in the shadows. Basically, we are the Men Women in Black.

MOM Magazine is sustainably delivered throughout the community thanks to pedalersexpress.com

MOM MagazineTM is owned by Active Media, Inc.

All rights reserved. Any reproduction, in whole or part, without written permission of the publisher, is prohibited. Information in the magazine is provided for general information purposes only with the understanding that none of the content constitutes professional advice. Opinions expressed by the writers or advertisers are not necessarily the opinions of the magazine or the publisher. Inclusion in the magazine does not constitute endorsement of information, products or services.

There is a kryptonite you should be aware of, though: home and garden shows. On a recent visit to one, it seemed like every exhibitor jumped out from their booths with enthusiasm to see me. Hi, how are you today! Are you in the market for a new roof/landscaping/house painting?! I had to look behind me on both sides. Wait, they can see me? My position had been compromised. My middleaged invisibility cloak had disintegrated! Hot take: if you’d like to feel wanted, go to a home show. (And yes, I actually was in the market for a new roof.)

Other benefits: no more cat-calls or street harassment. Fashionable footwear has been traded for sensible shoes, which are so much better for your feet. It can be lonely work, this middle-age mom business, but the saving grace is one another. If you’re lucky to have a strong friend group of women your same age, they become your sanctum. When you feel depleted from efforts going unseen — it is tiring — your peers know exactly what to do. A weekend away with them refills your life force and allows you to keep going.

Others won’t see you picking out plants at the farmers market, but I do. In the linen aisle of the home store, I see you. Get yourself the high thread count cotton ones — they’re better for hot flashes. Now back to our formidable, invisible, important work.

Audrey Meier DeKam Editor-in-Chief

What kind of birth story do you want?

If you’re pregnant or about to be, you’re likely considering where you want to have your baby. A better question might be, what kind of care do you want? How do you imagine retelling this once-in-a-lifetime story?

Everyone can choose hospital birth with an OB-GYN, but there are other choices. If you are a healthy individual and medically low-risk (most people are), perhaps you’ve thought about birthing with a midwife in a birth center. Midwives have lower rates of interventions, C-sections and labor inductions, making midwifery care a perfect fit for individuals who would like to avoid interventions yet desire a highly skilled practitioner to recognize when they can be lifesaving.

Having a baby at a birth center rather than in a hospital is a different experience. Birth centers are healthcare facilities that are separate from the hospital. They are typically guided by principles of prevention, sensitivity, appropriate medical intervention and cost effectiveness. Most insurances, including OHP, pay for most of the costs.

At Oregon Birth and Wellness Center, families receive personalized care in the comfort of our home-like environment. You get to meet our whole team during pregnancy so there are no surprises or strange faces when the day comes to meet your baby. You labor and deliver your baby in a soothing space with experienced, trained Certified Nurse Midwives.

We’re with you throughout your birth experience, and we bring our postpartum, baby wellness and lactation expertise to your home several times within the first week after delivery.

Our philosophy is that pregnancy and birth are beautiful, natural life events, and we help you stay healthy so your birth is as uncomplicated and safe as possible. Ultimately, the most important part of your story is that no matter where you decide to birth, you feel safe, empowered and respected.

Vision screenings vs. exams

It’s back to school time, which means your child will likely have an in-school vision screening. Even if your child passes a school or pediatric eye screening, a comprehensive eye exam is still recommended, as screenings have been shown to miss up to 75% of vision problems.

Many vision problems are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, resulting in frustrated children who struggle in school. With 80% of the information in a classroom presented visually, consider:

• Smart kids who struggle with reading may have a vision problem.

• Learning-related vision problems can occur in children who do not need glasses.

• Visual problems can mimic learning problems such as ADHD and dyslexia.

• Vision is more than 20/20. Reading requires more than a dozen additional visual skills.

Children often don’t know that their vision is different than it should be, meaning you can’t wait for them to tell you there’s an issue. Clear, comfortable and efficient vision is key to setting your child up for success — and that means annual optometric exams for life.

3015 W 11th Ave, Eugene 1011 Valley River Way Suite 110, Eugene 541-342-2201 or 866-4EYELUV | sterlingvision.com

Brought to you by: David A. Hackett OD, FCOVD

Dr. Hackett sees patients of all ages at our West 11th Ave and Valley River Plaza locations.

Knee-to-knee at the first appointment

At most pediatric dental offices, we take care of our littlest patients with what’s called a knee-to-knee exam. With this technique, we’re able to examine your child’s mouth while they remain seated comfortably in your lap.

We start out with the caregiver seated in a chair with your kiddo seated in your lap facing you. Then your dentist will sit in a chair across from you — hence the phrase “knee-to-knee.” When your child is comfortable and ready, your dentist will help them lie back until their head rests in the doctor’s lap.

This technique gives us a great view of the inside of your child’s mouth, while allowing them to see mom or dad and hold their hands. Generally, this approach helps to keep kids calm during their exam and reduces the caregiver’s anxiety as well.

Knee-to-knee examinations not only make your first visits to the pediatric dentist more comfortable, they help to build trust between your child and the dentist and make future visits less scary.

The exam itself may be quick since your child may not have many teeth. But we take our time with parents at these early appointments to explain the growth and development process, as well as tips on caring for and preventing cavities in your child’s teeth.

Brought to you by:

Dr. Erin Estep is a board-certified pediatric dentist who owns Treehouse Kids Dentist in Springfield. She and her staff are committed to making sure your child has an amazing, safe, memorable dental experience.

treehousekidsdental.com

1611 J street Springfield, OR 541-515-6631

office@treehousekidsdental.com

No more lunch tray blues

We all know it’s going to happen, despite the many, many times you said to your child, “Don’t forget your retainer at lunch!” And we can’t blame them. Kids who wear removable retainers or Invisalign must take them out to eat, and with the socializing and distractions of a school lunchroom, we’d probably forget them at least once ourselves.

Moms of a certain age might remember the trauma of having to dig through the cafeteria trash for a missing retainer. If you found it, it was with the knowledge you’d have to wear it again after it mingled with all that grossness. And if you didn’t find it, you’d have to tell your parents…and hear about how expensive it would be to get a new one.

The good news is those days are long over now that we have 3D printing. We make retainers in-house, from scanned models of your child’s teeth that we keep on file. This process makes retainers much more affordable than back in the day, with faster turnarounds.

It’s why we can offer lifetime retainers: you can get replacements anytime you need them. The program starts off with two sets of clear retainers for a low initial fee and a small copay thereafter. We also offer the program to patients who have had treatment elsewhere. It’s good dental care, peace of mind, and it won’t have anyone singing those lunch tray blues.

Go ‘Green’ for your child’s school

Founded in 1997, Oregon Green Schools (OGS) provides free assistance and support to schools across the state in establishing and maintaining conservation and sustainability programs that shape the next generation of environmental leaders.

We offer several certification tracks, such as “Green Lunchrooms” and “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” Our Green Lunchrooms track is a popular choice, as school lunchrooms are known to generate food waste and garbage, including milk cartons and endless plastic items. With OGS, students, teachers and parent volunteers conduct information-gathering activities such as lunchroom audits and in-person interviews. This data helps form an action plan with projects such as composting and waste prevention education, complete with project deadlines and evaluation metrics.

Lane County schools that complete these activities are eligible for a $500 incentive grant to help schools complete their action plan projects. To learn more about OGS certification, please visit the Partners for Sustainable Schools website at pssogs.org (or email greenschools@live.com).

In partnership with:

oregongreenschools.org

Joshua Frankel is the regional coordinator for Oregon Green Schools. He is also the program coordinator for the local nonprofit Partners for Sustainable Schools (pssogs.org) and can be reached at greenschools@live.com.

About

Joy O’Renick

PROFESSION: CEO of MARION Maternity & co-principal at Mapleton Middle School/High School

COMMUNITY: Eugene

SPOUSE: Miles Moore, school psychologist

CHILDREN: Anthony, age 24; Logan, age 5; and Jamie, age 2

WORKING A JOB WHILE RUNNING HER OWN COMPANY MAKES LIFE BUSY FOR THIS MOM OF THREE. THE KEY TO A HAVING SOCIAL LIFE? GRUNGY HOSTING.

PHOTOS BY: FREMOUW PHOTOGRAPHY

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours. My oldest son became part of our family at 15. I was his English teacher, and he was this incredibly smart, focused, but quiet student. I only realized he was in foster care when I nominated him for AP classes a year early and his counselor asked how we would pay for the AP exams. Miles and I signed up to certify as foster parents and he moved in with us about a month after our wedding. It was intense learning to parent a teenager who had been more or less taking care of himself for years, but Anthony has been one of the greatest gifts in my life. He’s incredibly practical, he’s goal-oriented, and he has never let the ridiculously hard things he’s faced beat him. He recently graduated from PCC as a welder, he’s in a long-term relationship with an amazing Intel employee named Bri (who is definitely part of our family as well), he’s a talented fisherman, one of the most savvy board game contenders I’ve ever met, and a very kind big brother. I can’t tell you how lucky we are to have him in our family.

My husband and I weren’t sure if we wanted to have biological kids, but eventually decided to go for it on a 51/49 kind of split! Our son Logan was born 5 years ago, and of course absolutely rocked our world. He’s bright, kind, creative and hilarious (puns are our recent game). He gives the best “monkey hugs” and swelled my heart to three times its normal size the second I met him. He loves Moon River and will be asleep in two minutes flat if I start singing it. Logan was born in 2018 when the world was kind of normal and everyone could crowd into the hospital to meet him. Our youngest, Jamie, was born in the first year of COVID. The experience of being pregnant in lockdown and giving birth in masks was strange, of course, but the little boy that resulted is hysterical. Unlike his brother who is a people pleaser, Jamie doesn’t care if people are happy with him, he’s unbelievably stubborn, and he can be shockingly temperamental. While he gives us a run for our money every single day, he’s affectionate, shockingly smart and just the piece that completes our family. He loves Star Wars and would live on nothing but fresh fruit if we let him.

My husband Miles is a wonderful human and school psychologist who is absolute

magic with students, and he is an incredible daddy. He has some sensory struggles and being a new dad to loud babies was unexpectedly hard for him at first. He struggled with focus and headaches, and just not being exhausted by all the noise. It’s been a journey to figure out workarounds with noise filtering earplugs and the like, but he has been 100% committed to becoming the most amazing daddy from day one. He plays with our kids like he’s also 5, and he is so consistent and routineoriented, which is a perfect foil to my slightly more chaotic style. Our kids absolutely adore him. Parenting has been

MOM ' s Favorite...

…words to live by: Someone told me recently that when it comes to your kids, love is spelled t-i-m-e. A good reminder during this busy time of life.

…family game: with Anthony and his wonderful girlfriend Bri, we play a million board games like The Resistance and Chameleon.

…binge-worthy TV or podcast: The Diplomat, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

…way to get out of making dinner: The Glenwood’s family takeaway dinners are a lifesaver on less organized week nights.

…parenting books: Love and Logic and Bringing up Bebe

one of the most strengthening experiences of our relationship. We’ve learned to work as a team in a way we never would have without kids.

We are so lucky with our family. My mom has lived with us part time since Logan was born and helped us survive during the most intense times in new parenthood. My dad and step-mom are also 100% there to help whenever we need them, and they love feeding Logan and Jamie blueberries by the bushel. My dad and Anthony are fishing and hunting buddies now, and it’s so cool to see their bond around shared interests and skills.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours? We’re a super tradition-oriented family. In a place where traditions are fewer and our culture can be more about trends, we found ourselves longing for the kinds of grounding, connecting rituals that are numerous in other cultures. So, we’ve worked to make our own. For example, we hold an annual Wild Rumpus Night on June 21 for summer solstice. We spend all day/evening outside, dress up in costumes, dance to our Wild Rumpus playlist, and celebrate nature, sunshine and loved ones.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom? When I got to know Anthony, and when I realized that I was 36 and should maybe finally decide if having a baby was for me!

Has the pandemic changed the way you parent, beyond just the practical and logistical parts? If so, how? The loss of community during the pandemic was deeply impactful and made us especially committed to (re) building strong connections when things reopened. Miles and I have always shared a common value of hosting and opening our home to others, and we’ve gotten even more intentional about that since COVID. We’re fortunate to have befriended some absolutely amazing families through Logan’s Montessori school, among other places. We love hosting afternoon hangouts and planning game nights, etc.

After COVID, I decided to just get over the fact that my house isn’t ever perfect (is that called “grungy hosting”?) and invite people over anyway. Unsurprisingly, I’ve discovered that people really don’t care if my house is spotless or if the tile in the guest bathroom is a little dated. We live in a funky farmhouse in the country that won’t ever compete as the nicest house in the neighborhood. But that isn’t really the point; learning to care more about connection and less about perfection has been one of the luckiest after-effects of COVID for me.

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments. Logan is a very social kiddo,and has lots of friends everywhere he goes. We’ve talked with him often about what a responsibility it is to be well-liked and about treating everyone with respect and kindness. One of my proudest moments happened this year, when Logan’s teacher told us that he had befriended a girl in his class who was facing some significant social challenges. Rather than excluding her because she had different needs, he spent much of his free time on the playground with her and ensured she was accepted and visible among their social circle.

Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments. I think almost every mom moment is a humbling one. It’s such an enormous responsibility, and you just miss things, you get them wrong, you lose patience, you forget their diaper bag at daycare drop off. I worry all the time about how I’m impacting my kids with my lack of awesome mom skills. It’s helpful to remember that they really just want to feel loved unconditionally at this age.

MOMs Love Local

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for friend: Rhythm & Blooms

…coffee spot: Vero Espresso House

…spot to get a good workout: Glow Yoga

…restaurant to take the kids: Elk Horn Brewery because they have a little play spot for kids.

…restaurants for a date night: Marché

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Thai Time Kitchen, Killer Burger

…meetup spot for happy hour: The Vintage

…place where the kids can let off steam: Amazon Park, Adventure! Children’s Museum

In what way are your children like you? How are they different? Anthony and I share a common interest in survival skills — fishing, foraging — and a practical, solutionoriented approach to the world. I think Logan is a lot like me, except that he has much better boundaries and self-advocacy skills. Jamie is my polar opposite at the moment, but he’s changing every day, and I’m excited to see who he becomes.

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say, We don’t grab poop out of the toilet.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks? I definitely don’t balance it all. Being a mom of young kids is intense. Being a business owner, especially of a young company, is intense. Coupling that with a part-time school administration job and trying to manage our lives is just ridiculous. I’m fortunate to have a partner who 100% believes that the household things are just as much his responsibility as mine. Honestly, he’s taken on more than 50% in the past year as I’ve worked so hard to build MARION and drive to Mapleton to serve as co-principal.

Tell us about your work outside of the home. When I got pregnant with Logan, I was a principal and education director, and I always dressed professionally for work. As I started to need maternity clothes, I was shocked to discover that really good maternity workwear just wasn’t a thing that existed, especially for more formal professions. On top of that, I’m 5’2”, and petite maternity clothes for work definitely didn’t exist. Believe me, I looked everywhere. It felt professionally diminishing not to be able to dress appropriately for my job during most of the time I was pregnant and nursing (almost 4 years total!). Unfortunately, there can still be a lot of judgment about pregnancy and motherhood in the workplace, and suddenly showing up looking frumpy or too casual makes it worse. After my own experience, I decided that maternity work clothes are a basic necessity for gender equity, and that someone needed to make them. I decided to leave education for a while and founded a maternity workwear brand called MARION. I’m proud to say that we now sell sustainable, luxury quality work clothes (and basics) for

maternity and nursing mothers all over the world! Most of our clients are incredible boss mamas: lawyers, executives, business owners, physicians and elected officials. We also have an entire petite collection for the short of stature, and are offering more extended sizes with each collection.

Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent. I’m a former English teacher and have always loved writing. I also love helping moms and supporting parents. I’ve been excited to be published in Motherly four times during the past few months, on topics such as pumping at work, mom guilt, creating a mom-friendly work culture and sustainable maternity fashion. I’ve been super excited to hear from other moms who have read my tips and who have felt more confident at work thanks to MARION’s maternity office wear.

I’ve also been excited to start partnering with Ocean Co to fund a collection of 1kg (the equivalent of about 88 plastic bottles) for every MARION purchase. The program not only removes plastic from waterways before it reaches the ocean (where it’s then recycled or repurposed), it also pays a living wage to local plastic collectors in the world’s most polluted regions. I’m so excited to grow MARION’s positive impact with this partnership, and through other similar efforts.

When was the last time you failed? What did you learn? I fail all the time as a new entrepreneur. I founded MARION without any background in fashion, so it’s been one giant learning curve — with a lot of missteps. I think my training as a principal has helped, as it’s taught me how to stay laser-focused on a vision, navigate all the discomfort of learning through failure, and get everyone on the team rowing in the same direction.

Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years? I’d like MARION to become the go-to that comes to every working mama’s mind during pregnancy. I don’t want amazing, ambitious women to stress ever again about where they’ll find great maternity dress pants or a flattering maternity office dress. I want them to feel confident that professional moms are valued and resourced members of the working world, and to take this one huge stress off their overloaded plates. Of course, I want to improve our sustainability, and hire more staff so I can spend more time with my kids and family.

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today? I grew up with parents who were very hard working (and still are). They both came from large families, both experienced poverty and both were expected to work hard. They instilled the same work ethic in my brother and I: we were stacking firewood and doing many daily chores from an early age. I value that experience because it gives me confidence that I can accomplish whatever I decide I want to do. It’s a double-edged sword, though, and I also am learning to slow down and value rest.

What is special about where you grew up?

I grew up on a hillside above Cottage Grove lake that backed up to thousands of acres of public land. It was amazing. My brother and I spent our days wandering miles of forest, running into bears and watching birds, and learning to eat from the land (which my kids now love). My first job was moving about seven fields of heavy irrigation pipes by hand every day for the dairy

next door, and bottle feeding baby calves. I got an incredible gift in the place I grew up.

What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you?

My parents are both incredibly generous people. They’re not together any more, but they both move through the world wanting to contribute and provide for the needs of others. I love this, and want to pass it on to my kids.

If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be? I’d speak Spanish because it’s the language my maternal grandparents spoke, it’s a language my mom speaks, and it’s a tradition I’d like to pass along to my kids.

What is your least/most favorite household chore? I love vacuuming. I hate emptying the dishwasher.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you suddenly find yourself at home alone for a few hours (we know, it never happens). What do you do? I’d get stressed out trying to decide what to do first (and whether to be productive or relax) and probably waste half the time in indecision.

Who are your favorite fictional heroes? Elizabeth Bennett, Elizabeth Zott, Circe (Madeline Miller’s).

Who is your favorite real-life hero? I admire the way the Obamas move through the world — staying engaged, contributing and seeming to constantly learn and grow. All with a ton of grace.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is. You don’t have to be perfect to be a good mom. I, too, have trash on the floor of my car that I hope doesn’t fall out during dropoff. Stay off your phone; listen to your kids fully and give them eye contact. That is what they’ll remember, much more than gifts or exciting things. The socials will wait until they’re sleeping.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Audrey Benson

Behavior Supervisor

922 NW Circle Blvd, Ste 160-112 Corvallis, OR 97330

kidsnw.org | 1.888.360.0360

Your rights and IEPs

When you have a child with specialized education needs, you’ve likely encountered an Individualized Education Program (IEP). At its core, an IEP is a legally binding document that provides accommodations for students with disabilities.

Knowing your rights as a parent is crucial in the creation and execution of your child’s IEP. There are six rights you should learn and advocate for:

1. Right to Information: You have the right to be informed about the special education process, including eligibility, evaluation procedures and IEP development. Schools must provide written notice before any changes occur.

2. Right to Participation: You can actively participate in meetings and decision-making related to your child’s education. This includes attending IEP meetings, contributing to goal setting and collaborating with school personnel.

3. Right to Consent: Schools require written parental consent for evaluations or changes in services. You can review evaluation reports, receive copies of the IEP and provide input on services and supports.

4. Right to Independent Evaluation: If parents disagree with the school’s evaluation or services, they can request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at public expense. The IEE results must be considered.

5. Right to Review and Revise the IEP: You can review the IEP annually and request changes as needed. You can also request additional meetings to address concerns, propose modifications or discuss progress.

6. Right to Dispute Resolution: If disagreements arise, you have the right to pursue dispute resolution options such as mediation, due process hearings or filing complaints.

While creating and implementing an IEP may have its challenges, you’re never alone in the journey. FACT Oregon, a nonprofit, is a go-to for providing families exceptional guidance. With a little know-how, navigating the IEP process is less intimidating and more empowering for parents in supporting their child’s education experience.

Brought to you by:

KIDS NW connects families with compassionate caregivers, specially trained in serving individuals with disabilities.

TRAVEL EASY WITH AN ESCORTED TOUR

BY DONNITA CAGLE BASSINGER, CTC, MCC

WHAT IS AN ESCORTED TOUR?

An escorted tour is a pre-planned trip where all the arrangements for your transportation, hotels, some sightseeing and meals are already made. You have a tour guide and driver that make sure everything runs smoothly and you just show up and enjoy.

There will be some activities included and other sightseeing options that you can choose to add. The tour guide will be fluent in the local language as well as English and sometimes several others. Most escorted tours use a motorcoach for transportation although some use trains, boats or vans. A small tour group may have eight to 20 people, and the largest tours have 40 to 50.

Traveling overseas is a dream for many people. If you want to take your family to visit a foreign country, but the planning and making it happen seems overwhelming, the solution is an escorted tour.

PLANNING

The biggest advantage of an escorted tour is that all the planning and logistics are taken care of. The tour companies have researched and planned the best possible route to get from place to place as you experience the highlights of each area. The guides have local contacts and can advise on which optional tours would best fit your needs. You don’t need to research the history of the area as your tour guide will be well-versed in everything there is to know about the areas you visit.

TYPES OF TOURS

There are escorted tours for every kind of traveler. In recent years, family-focused tours have increased with Adventures by Disney offering high-end tours around the world that feature kid-friendly activities. Traditional tour companies such as Tauck have added tours for multi-generational families. Adventure tour companies such as G Adventures, Backroads and Intrepid have special tours for families of all ages and families with teenagers.

There are theme tours based on historical events, sports such as biking or hiking, wildlife sightings, food tours and much more. Some tour companies offer the opportunity to do community service or have dinner in the home of a local family. Family tours make learning about the local culture fun and interactive.

LOGISTICS

Some families want to see and do as much as possible and go non-stop, while others prefer to spend a few days in each place and include time to relax. When deciding on a tour, ask each family member what they want to see and do. One of the benefits of an escorted tour is that not everyone has to always do the same thing. For instance, on a recent escorted tour to Costa Rica with my family, my older sons and their dad went rappelling down a waterfall while my youngest son and I visited a sloth sanctuary. The tour guide made all the arrangements and we each got to do exactly what we wanted.

ADVANTAGES

One of the biggest advantages of a tour is that you save time and money. Having a vehicle pick you up and take you exactly where you want to go is much easier than dealing with train schedules and taxis or trying to find your way around in a rental car. Tour companies book thousands of hotel rooms every year and can get much better prices than you would get on your own. Tour guides can advise you which sights are worth seeing and which are tourist-traps to avoid.

Safety is a big issue and a good tour guide will advise which areas to avoid and local scams to be aware of. If there are any issues such as weather problems, a local strike or other disruptions, the tour guide is right there to handle any situation.

One of the unexpected benefits is building friendships with the others on your tour. I’ve taken escorted tours throughout Europe, Australia, Hawaii, Mexico and Costa Rica, and every time I have met interesting people who made the trip extra special. On family tours, children can become fast friends with other kids.

It’s important to have the right tour for your family, and a professional travel agent is invaluable in finding the perfect tour for you. If you’ve always dreamed of taking your family on a safari to Africa, on a biking tour through Italy or sightseeing in Japan, now is the time to start planning.

There are more flights than ever available from Eugene Airport to anywhere you want to go in the world. Get your passports in order, and call your travel agent!

Donnita Bassinger has been a travel agent for three decades, and she enjoys sending families on vacations around the world. She is a mom of three and lives in Eugene with her husband. She is the owner of VIP Vacations, Inc., and she looks forward to talking to you about your travel plans. Contact Donnita at 541-913-5272 @VacationMOMpage

Say it louder for the moms in the back: all the planning and logistics are taken care of with escorted tours.

TOO MANY TOMATOES TOO MANY TOMATOES

There are over 10,000 varieties of tomatoes in the world. If you’re lucky enough to have a bumper crop, it may feel like you have 10,000 of them in your backyard. But it’s a good problem to have, as tomatoes are delicious fresh, or easy to freeze for later.

GAIL’S ROASTED TOMATO PASTA SAUCE

2 pounds of fresh tomatoes, any kind

8 diced garlic cloves

4 – 6 fresh chopped basil leaves

½ Tablespoon of sugar

1 Tablespoon of Italian seasoning

½ Tablespoon pepper

¼ cup olive oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a small bowl, mix together the garlic, basil, sugar, Italian seasoning and pepper. Set aside. Coat a large cookie sheet with the olive oil, then sprinkle half the seasoning mix over top.

Cut tomatoes in half and place cut side down on cookie sheet until cookie sheet is full.

Sprinkle the remaining half of the seasoning on top of the tomatoes.

Cook for 30 minutes at 400 degrees. Scrape everything into the blender to mix until it is saucy.

Use fresh and freeze leftovers. Enjoy with a variety of dishes such as pasta, pizza, spaghetti squash, meatball sub sandwiches and others.

LINDA’S FRESH SALSA

6 – 8 cups diced fresh cherry tomatoes

1 sweet onion, diced

1 jalapeño, de-seeded and de-stemmed, chopped finely

1 bunch fresh cilantro, depending on the bundle size use ½ or all

½ of a fresh squeezed lime

¼ cup apple cider vinegar

Pinch of kosher salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl and enjoy fresh. If desired, blend about 3 cups in a food processor, then recombine with the chopped portion.

This salsa is great for dipping and perfect for parties.

AUNT VERNA’S OVEN-DRIED TOMATOES

Cherry, grape or roma tomatoes, sliced lengthwise (if using romas, take out the cores)

Sea salt

Olive oil for storage

Preheat oven to 250 degrees.

On a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, place tomatoes cut-side up. Sprinkle lightly with sea salt.

Bake for two and a half hours. You may want to go longer if the tomatoes still seem to hold too much moisture.

Store dried tomatoes in a jar of olive oil, in the fridge. These will keep for about 4 days, and taste great on pizza or bruschetta, with mozzarella and fresh basil.

Fast-and-lazy freezing method: wash, dry and de-stem whole tomatoes, then shove them into large freezer bags. Come winter, you can plop rock-solid frozen beefsteak tomatoes right into a soup, stew or other recipe.

Sept. 29 - Oct. 1

The Eugene Airport is a proud part of what makes Western Oregon such a unique place to live and visit, with direct routes connecting to hundreds of destinations.

Nov. 10-12 at the Oregon State Fair Expo Center

http://OregonHearthandHomeEvents.com

Your cat’s lifestyle: in or out

Being a cat owner includes looking out for the behavioral and social needs of one’s feline friend. For some, this means their cat will live exclusively indoors. For others, a hybrid indoor-outdoor lifestyle fits better. All pets that venture outdoors should be properly collared and tagged, as well as microchipped. A microchip is the safest and best way for a lost animal to be returned to its owner. A found cat can be taken to any vet clinic or humane society, scanned, and the owner contacted by the chip service. Talk to your veterinarian about the microchip process.

Traffic is always a concern. If you live on or near a busy street, an indoor-outdoor lifestyle is a higher risk. Additionally, most domestic cats are adapted to temperatures that we consider normal. But when extreme cold or hot weather is expected, err on the side of caution and keep your cat indoors.

Another consideration is what your cat may ingest while outdoors, such as antifreeze, rat bait, toxic plants or chemicals. If your cat shows symptoms of a poisonous ingestion, contact your local emergency vet immediately.

Finally, think about other animals that your cat could encounter outside. In the Willamette Valley, these include deer, turkeys, squirrels, birds, bobcats, mountain lions, dogs and other cats. Abscesses, bite wounds and crush injuries are common at our emergency facility. While the safest environment for cats is indoors, for many cats, a healthy social and emotional environment includes time both inside and outside. Harness and leash sets offer a way to safely explore the outdoors with your cat, and enclosed “catios” offer the best of both worlds.

SAVE MONEY WHEREVER YOU CAN

The cost of seemingly everything has gotten more expensive. How do you keep the sharp rise in prices from bottoming out your bank account? You get savvy about where your money goes.

CLOTHING

• Have a clothing & home goods swap with your friends. Make a fun night of it!

• Learn to sew. Replacing a button or patching up a rip will save you from having to replace clothing.

• Kids are hard on clothes — and they outgrow them at lightning speed. Shop gently used clothing for great deals.

• Return unworn items with tags. If it’s too late to do so, take them to a local reseller for cash.

• Before washing, turn shirts with delicate printing or adornments inside-out to make them last longer.

• Keep your wardrobe — and your laundry pile — small by going through it once a quarter. If you haven’t worn it in a year, donate it. This allows you to truly see what you have and avoid buying duplicates.

FOOD

• Nab those printed and digital coupons! If you forget to bring or use your printed ones, take them to customer service the next time you’re in the store along with your receipt. Some retailers will honor them retroactively.

• Use your reward card to benefit from perks and savings.

• Use free grocery pickup orders to prevent impulse purchases.

• Make your own coffee at home. And if you have leftovers, pour it into a lidded jar and store it in the fridge for iced coffee.

• Pick your own berries or fruit. Make a day of it with the kids at a local farm — they’ll love it. You’ll also probably get better-tasting fruit that’s less expensive.

• Freeze everything: beyond just meat, there are loads of foods you can freeze, such as that unused tomato paste when a recipe only called for half a can, bread on sale, leftover cake, pesto, fresh ginger and so much more.

• Broccoli stems: chop and eat them yourself, or give them to your dog as a healthy treat.

HOME & LIFE

• Save on internet cost: you could save up to $30 a month on your internet bill with the Affordable Internet Connectivity Program. visit getinternet.gov to see if you qualify.

• Find a childcare share: this is when a few moms share childcare duties with one another, allowing them to each have a much-needed break.

• Check your city’s event webpages for a plethora of free or low-cost events. Local libraries and parks & recreation have loads of free or low-cost activities for kids and families.

• Fix your stuff rather than replace it. Local repair fairs are excellent places to take that broken bike/fan/ sewing machine. You can learn valuable skills, save money and help the environment. Watch for these: In Eugene, Fix-it Fairs are regularly hosted by fixitlanecounty.com or eugene-or.gov.

In Corvallis/Albany, OSU Campus Recycling hosts Repair Fairs. In Salem, follow facebook.com/ RepairFairSalem/ for events throughout the area.

STOP OVERCONSUMPTION

IS IT A WANT OR A NEED?

That adorable purse is calling your name, and technically it’s a need…you do require some place to put your money and sunglasses while you’re out and about. But unless you’re starting with zero purses, a new one is not a need. Don’t let temptation convince you otherwise.

DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?

Instead of making an impulse purchase, take a picture and wait a day or more. Those cute throw pillows you saw at a store? Chances are high that the sense of urgency you had to buy them has decreased over time. If you’re still thinking they’re perfect for you, consider asking for them as a gift for an upcoming birthday. Practice delayed gratification to save yourself thousands.

SHOP USED

Need a new serving platter? Want a holiday wreath for your front door? How about a stack of kids’ books? Online marketplaces and local second hand stores are terrific sources. Bonus: there are new items almost daily.

MAKE DO

This old-timey saying is a classic for a reason. If you can get by just fine without something, your bank account will thank you.

School Anxiety

It’s a tale as old as time: a child who doesn’t want to go to school feigns a stomach ache to stay home. But when this happens often, or there is a significant amount of distress, there might be more to the story. We talked with local experts for insights: Dr. Pilar Bradshaw, a pediatrician with Eugene Pediatric Associates, and Abby Demchak, a social worker with Samaritan Health Services.

Everyone gets nervous now and then. How can I tell if my child has typical first day jitters, or if there’s a bigger concern?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Most children are nervous occasionally, but sometimes back-to-school jitters are actually the tip of the iceberg of a larger problem with anxiety. Most minor adjustments to back-to-school are short-lived, consolable episodes of fear or crying that

resolve quickly upon returning home. Falling asleep may be harder for a short time. But overall, your child is the same happy kid you’ve always known.

Symptoms of a deeper problem may include intense emotional swings, difficult to console fears, lasting changes in appetite or sleep patterns, inability to calm down at school even with help from a teacher or friends, and an overall shift of your child’s mood to one that is much more anxious, angry, fearful or negative than you’ve seen. Children who experience these issues may benefit from meeting with their school counselor and pediatrician.

How does anxiety appear in a little kid versus an older child? Any tips for helping them through each stage?

Abby Demchak: While there is no straightforward rule to how anxiety presents in different ages, there are some behaviors that can be more common in little versus older kids. For example, kids in elementary school, when anxious about school, may cry, throw tantrums, cling to parents, not want to get ready for school, and tell teachers they aren’t feeling well. While older kids may have some similar behaviors, it is common for older kids to also refuse to get out of bed, stress about tests and grades, isolate from peers and ask to stay home from school.

Should I just let my anxious child stay home? They’re so distressed!

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Letting anxious children stay home often backfires because it reinforces that giving in to a child’s anxiety is the answer. Untreated anxiety is like a box that grows smaller and smaller over time, keeping a child from ever more normal life activities. A better approach is to talk with your child about their fears and find meaningful solutions. If a parent doesn’t feel equipped, reach out to your child’s doctor, teacher or counselor for professional tips or direct support.

How do I best talk to my child about their feelings? What should I say not say?

Abby Demchak: One of the best things you can do to support kids’ anxiety (and every other emotion) is to listen and be supportive. Saying things like “Just get over it,” or “It’s no big deal,” can be dismissive and add shame to their already strong emotions. Instead, you want to open a line of communication that prompts open discussion. Saying things like, “I see you are really nervous about school. Can you tell me what is making you feel so nervous?” can be a great way to help them learn to talk about difficult things, as well as get a glimpse into their mind.

It can also be helpful to normalize discussions about mental health. No one should feel alone in their mental health journey and reminding your kids that they are not alone can be even more reassuring. If you feel comfortable, maybe you can even tell them something that makes you feel anxious and what helps you to feel better. Should I say something to my child’s school and teachers? If so, what?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: If your young child is afraid, it’s helpful for their teacher to know so they can be ready to help. Share any specific worries your child has (for example, “Maggie is afraid nobody will play with them at recess,”) so the teacher

can know what to watch for that day. The older tween or teen who is struggling may also benefit from a parent giving that information to the school counselor. If anxiety is impeding older kids at school, a formal plan may be necessary to address their mental health needs.

Abby Demchak: It is always a good idea to advocate for your child, especially if you see them struggling. Schools often have resources that can help them, but teachers and other school staff may not even know your child is anxious unless you open up that conversation. My pre-teen will literally not get out of the car at drop-off. What should I do?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: If a tween or teen refuses to get out of the car at school drop-off, I recommend against making a scene — this usually intensifies the child’s discomfort at school. Instead, try to remain calm as a parent, drive away from the door, and have a discussion with your child. School is their job and they need to attend. If you cannot convince them to get out of the car, notify the school of their absence and make an appointment to see their pediatrician. Truancy from school indicates that your child’s anxiety is significant enough to require professional support.

What if my child is neurodivergent?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Neurodivergent children often struggle with anxiety, so school may be an extra source of worry for these kids. Enlist your child’s medical and mental health specialists, as well as their teacher, school counselor or principal to help develop an individualized approach for children with developmental or behavioral issues. But always remind your neurodivergent child that their talents and sparkle are an important part of their school community, and help them find their “super powers” that they can use to help make their education fun and rewarding.

Abby Demchak: First, let’s talk about what neurodivergent means! Being neurodivergent means that your brain works a little differently than the mass population. Autism and ADHD are the most common examples of neurodivergence, but anything that is a learning or developmental disability also falls under the neurodiversity umbrella. In fact, the neurodiversity umbrella is quite large. It’s fairly common for neurodivergent kids to feel anxious about school, whether it be stress of trying to fit in, pressure to get good grades or anything of the sort. There are a lot of ways that neurodivergent children can receive support in a school

“Saying things like ‘I see you are really nervous about school. Can you tell me what is making you feel so nervous?’ can be a great way to help them learn to talk about difficult things...”

setting, such as individual education plans (IEPs) and 504 plans, both of which are designed for kids with identified disabilities (yes, ADHD is a covered disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act).

What resources are available for my child?

Abby Demchak: Whether it is school counselors, advisors, teachers or therapists in the community, there are people there to help support your children. Your pediatrician’s office will have mental and behavioral health resources or can help you find someone to support your child. Individual counties have great mental health programs that offer individual and family counseling, and there are many private practices that offer the same in the community. A quick search on the internet will help to start finding resources. If you are having trouble with that, schools and doctors’ offices can help find and navigate local resources.

Pilar Bradshaw, MD, FAAP

Dr. Bradshaw practices the full spectrum of pediatric medicine, seeing patients from birth to young adulthood. Her special interests include the treatment of asthma, medically fragile children and adolescent eating disorders. She sees patients at Eugene Pediatric Associates, an independent pediatric practice in Eugene.

Abby Demchak, LCSW

Abby Demchak primarily sees children and adolescents and specializes in treating anxiety disorders and attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder, with clinical interests in anxiety and LGBTQ health. She practices at Samaritan Lebanon Health Center.

Calming the anxious child

It can make you feel powerless to see your child struggling, but there are immediate, practical ways you can help. We asked Jenifer Trivelli of the Salem-based WiseMind Educational Services, for tips.

As the saying goes, you put your oxygen mask on first. Our nervous systems send cues of either safety or alert to our children. These get communicated nonverbally, through facial cues, posture, tone and rate of speech, breathing patterns, and other signals we parents may not be aware of. Grounding yourself first is key.

A parent’s first reaction is often to try and fix whatever the child identifies as the cause of their overwhelming emotion. After grounding yourself, consider making your focus to help your child return to emotional balance first, so their brain works better. You might try telling them to look at your eyes and see that you’re not worried or scared. You can also try directing them to look around and name things as they

see them. This is not distraction; when we turn our head and move our eyes, we send soothing signals to our “on alert” brain by helping it recognize that the environment is safe.

Break down overwhelming situations into achievable small steps. This allows your child to begin making forward movement toward the larger goal. Find out exactly where your child gets stuck and work backwards from there. A manageable amount of anxiety can be useful fuel for growth and learning new skills.

Create rituals and use transition objects. Rituals create a sense of safety through familiarity in situations that may be unfamiliar. A transition object can be anything your child can access a sense of safety or comfort through. Some ideas include a piece of jewelry, a special stone, a photo of a pet or happy memory, or clothing that is comforting. It’s likely they know what could work if you prompt them with the question.

Jenifer Trivelli is an author, speaker and founder of WiseMind Educational Services based in Salem. She combines neuroscience and mindbody education for children, teens and the adults who care for them in her books and in partnership with local schools.