Never Expected That Would Happen, March 12

Saturday, March 12

John 15:13: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Someone who comes to mind when I think about what it means to Choose Love, Choose Hope is none other than our Pastor Jay. Now, I realize that this seems like an effortless choice to write about the pastor. But what you might not know about him is that he leads a small group I attend called “Dad Bods,” which consists of exercise that focuses on physical health and self-care. What you also might not know is a particular exercise called prison burpees; look it up if you need to. If there is any chance I can earn some brownie points to maybe skip a few at our next session, well, here we go!

All kidding aside, everyone loves Pastor Jay and, in my household, he is a “Rockstar,” especially if you ask our 2 and 4 year old kiddos. I’m sure all the preschool families hear their kids sing his praises as well. But what I want to talk about is a time that I found myself in a gloomy and lonely place.

I had been driving down this unfulfilling path for quite some time, but things really surfaced and started to boil over when the pandemic hit. I found myself acting out of character and losing my cool easily and often. I would focus so much on my problems that I was missing the precious time and love from my wife and our remarkable children. For the first time ever, I was actually worried that I couldn’t get a grip and pull myself out of whatever I was in. I was scared. I was scared that all the weight that I carried around was ultimately going to control me for good. I knew I needed some help. But it was hard for me to follow through and ask someone for help. Eventually, I reached out to a couple therapists and for whatever reason I opted out of seeking counseling just yet. And sure enough, another episode put me over the top and took the wind out of me. That is when I reached out to Pastor Jay.

Now, Pastor Jay did what you would assume only Pastor Jay would do… he stopped doing handstand push-ups (I am guessing), picked up his phone, read my text, and came to meet with this broken dude. What I remember most, as I walked up to him, was his energy. He had total peace. It was like a switch. I was completely knocked off my heels. His peaceful presence, on top of his really helpful advice, instantly helped me shed that baggage that only kept getting heavier. He modeled for me what it looked like to Choose Love and to Choose Hope in himself.

I learned that I was trying to focus on my problems so much and I so badly wanted to fix them, that I had completely neglected my own need to Choose Love and Hope for myself, which is the only area in my life that I can control. If I had kept going down the previous road of anguish any longer, who knows what more I would have lost. I was saved by Love and Hope through Pastor Jay. I am eternally grateful for that time he spent with me. How crazy is that! I literally walked into a building broken down and empty, and I walked out feeling completely changed and whole.

Dear Lord, thank you for showing up. Thank you for all those like Pastor Jay who show up. May this Love and Hope given to me continue to flow out of me and be multiplied. Especially through this hard time, I lift up those who have felt or experienced despair and pain. Please be with them until someone like Jay shows up. Amen