Luckily, Oksness has found a way to take refuge from the fast–paced city. “Our terrace is the best location in the apartment. I never feel like I’m in a city of 18 million when I’m around all the vegetation. It’s an escape,” she said. “Missing your family and friends is the most difficult part of moving anywhere and it never gets easier,” adds the designer, who uses Skype to keep in touch with her American friends and family. “Of course, texting makes everyone feel they’re in the same city.” Other tools Oksness uses to shake off homesickness are skipping off to a nearby Western–style restaurant for a bagel and cream cheese, hitting strikes at bowling alleys, and watching more American television in Shanghai than she ever did in the States. Fellow expat tribe members with whom Oksness has become friends over the course of the past three years have helped her adjust
to her new lifestyle. “Most expats come to Shanghai with the same frame of mind—not really knowing what to expect, but completely open to many new experiences,’’ she said.
“Getting around
in Shanghai is madness and a bit overwhelming.”
When not teaching or hiding out in her lusciously green terrace, she makes her way back to the States on a yearly basis. And now that she’s become accustomed to the always bustling city–life in Shanghai, Oksness admits she experiences more culture shock on her returns to the United States than she did when she first arrived in China. “I was so used to San Francisco being a ‘city,’
but after living here and going back, it’s so small,” she says. “I remember at one point as I was walking with friends asking ‘Where are all the people?’” The vigorous Shanghai energy isn’t the only thing Oksness missed on her visits back to the States. “China has also changed my tastebuds —for the better,’’ she said. “I love all the amazing cuisines of China, especially Hunan, Yunnan and Sichuan,’’ she said. “Spice is key.’’ Despite her visits back to the Bay Area, Oksness has no plans to return permanently —at least not at the moment. She is continuing to teach at the International Fashion Academy and design for the children’s clothing label, El Principito Kids — a South American company with a design house in Shanghai. “Things are changing all the time,’’ she said philosophically. “So I’m just taking my life one day at a time.’’ 15