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CLAVELLE UNDERCUTS QUALITY OF LIFE I usually agree with Peter Freyne on most issues, but, Peter, where was your head when you wrote in your Nov. 27 column [“Inside Track”] that you took exception to Andy Montroll’s claim that not enough has been done by the current administration for quality o f life matters in Burlington? This may come as a shock, but there are still many noisy and peace-shattering parties going on. Perhaps you should ask those liv ing on or near North Willard, Loomis, Isham, etc. Better yet, take a walk around those areas any Friday, Saturday or Sunday morn ing between 1 and 4 and then ask yourself what Clavelle has done for these residents. I know, since I did live in that area o f town and got little or no help at all. Your justification o f Clavelle’s quality-of-life support being based on a Fannie Mae Grant is ludicrous. His administration has allowed zoning laws to be ignored for years, allowing upwards o f 250 single family homes to [be] rented to groups (mostly students), while chasing other families out o f Burlington. And his current and past lack o f financial support for the code office, despite recommendations from a hired consultant to increase funding, is another

example o f his apathy. Had it not been for the “func tional family ordinance” passed by the City Council a few years ago (by the way, passed despite opposition from all Progressive council members present),-there would be more “group quarters” and less single family homes on the market today...

Jack Mentes BURLINGTON

FA H C to provide proper care to the patients and families we are privileged to serve. As a critical-care RN, and now a local citizen, I believe it is vital that all the communities served by FAHC not lose confi dence in our ability to take care o f them fully and completely. We health-care providers can and will deliver the best quality care to our patients and families every day at FAHC.

KEEP FAITH IN FAHC

Vince Vacca

I am a nurse, a “traveler” nurse working at Fletcher Allen Health Care Center (FAHC), in critical care. I have been a nurse for over 20 years, much o f that time in critical-care environments. I came here to work, two months ago, largely unaware o f the political controversy hanging like a dark cloud over FAHC [“Inside Track, Nov. 27]. For the two months I’ve been here, not once have I or anyone else in my unit been told that we can’t provide something necessary to a patient or family. We often see people admitted with poten tially life-threatening conditions. Once in our unit, the team moves quickly and efficiently to provide proper medications, tests and treatments to our critically ill patients. The ongoing crisis in the boardroom has not and does not impair the caregivers at

S. BURLINGTON

STICKING TO THE POINT I am responding to Susan Green’s article, “What’s the Point?” [Dec. 11]. While there is merit to some o f the criticisms that have been made regarding artist separation and recorded liners, the article has at least a couple of problems. Susan didn’t talk with any of the DJs who are still at The Point, only with folks who have left. It’s interesting to know why people left. I think it would also have been interesting if Susan had asked why some folks choose to stay with the station, but she didn’t. I stay because it’s fun, I love the music, and I do get to choose some o f what I play, which is more than most DJs anywhere else can say. The people at the station are fun to work with and creative. The Point is part o f the

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SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I letters 05A

S E V E N DAYS w a n ts y o u r rants a n d raves, in 2 5 0 w o rd s o r fewer. Letters m u s t re sp o n d to c o n te n t in S E V E N DAYS. Include you r full n a m e a n d a d a y tim e p h o n e n u m b e r a n d s e n d to: S E V E N D A Y S , R O . B o x 1 16 4, B u rlin g to n , V T 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5 e-m ail: letters@ sevendaysvt.com

community and we serve the community. I feel that it’s a privi lege to be allowed to be on the air and to say things I have to say to the public, albeit between songs and commercials. The Point is the only show in town playing (and sponsoring performances of) the best o f a number o f genres o f music, cut ting across a lot o f lines and cre ating a pretty diverse rotation. Sure, there are some oldies and

some songs some people may be sick of, but give credit where it’s due. The Point plays artists that you won t hear anywhere else. For a commercial radio station, The Point is exceptional.

Walter I. Zeichner JERICHO

KEEP THE AIRWAVES FREE Thanks for your excellent cover age o f Vermont radio in your December 11 th issue. So few

mainstream publications address our evolving media system in any sort o f ongoing and consistent way: your weekly proves the exception to the rule. The 1996 Telecommunica tions Act, passed by Congress with the F C C ’s blessing after a bare minimum o f news coverage (19 minutes total on ail three major news networks over a fourmonth period o f D .C . debate), dramatically restructured the

rules regarding radio ownership in this country, making it possi ble for one corporation to own up to eight radio stations in any given market. Vermont’s radio broadcast landscape, as in so many other states, is feeling the consequences, as more and more radio stations are bought by large and imperson al media corporations who gut local news staff, dramatically shrink airplay diversity and experi mentation in the name o f keeping Arbitron ratings competitive and advertisers happy. And, while new radio technologies hold tremen dous promise for the future, many listeners cant afford the monthly expense o f satellite radio or don’t own a computer to download audio-streaming from the Net. What can you and I do about this unhappy situation? 1. Vigorously support our local independent media o f all political stripes — newspapers, radio sta tions and public-access TV. 2. Vigorously support media

literacy education and produc tion programs in our schools. See www.vmac-online.org for a list o f organizations and individuals committed to media literacy edu cation and production in the Green Mountain State. 3. Support elected officials who remain independent o f Big Media lobbying. Last time I checked, Congressman Sanders and Senators Jeffords and Leahy have taken no money from the National Association o f Broadcasters. Sanders, meanwhile, is the first member o f Congress to hold town meetings on the issue o f corporate media consolidation. 4. Lobby the FC C and Congress to reconsider the 1996 Telecom Act. See www.acme coalition.org and www.media channel.org for more information. Let’s reclaim our radio air waves and our whole media sys tem in the name o f diversity and small “d” derhocracy!

Rob Williams WAITSFIELD

CORRECTION: In our story last week about streaming audio [“Cyberspace Stations,” December 11], we erred on the amount that Onion River Radio and other stations o f its size — online or terrestri al — must pay for recording royalty fees. Those fees can exceed $50,000 per year. Onion River Radio has, in fact, played a pivotal role in setting the royalty rate for the webcasting industry by testify ing before Congress. Our apologies for any information that may have been misleading.

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“Old G rudges and Notions of Political Purity” ermont’s fledgling Progressive Party reached a major crossroads this week. One road leads to an ongoing political civil war between Progressives and Democrats. The other leads to victory for progressive policies. What was telling about Mondays City Hall kickoff for Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle’s reelection campaign was the fact that so many hardcore Progressive Party activists turned out to stand with him. Anthony Pollina o f Middlesex was there. So was Chris Pearson, Tony’s campaign manager and executive director o f the Prog Party. And Martha Abbott o f Underhill, the state chair. And folks from Mayor Bem ie Sanders' adminis tration o f 20 years ago, such as John Franco and Jim Rader. This despite the fact that Mayor Moonie has dared to pollute the Progressive blood supply by seeking an official injection o f Democratic Party blood. As Seven Days goes to press Tuesday, Mayor Clavelle plans to attend both the Progressive Party and Democrat Party city caucuses. He will be nominated for the mayoral endorsement at both. For some Progressives, that’s a poisoning o f their pure political waters. In fact, the statewide party’s bylaws prohibit Prog candidates from having non-Prog party labels on the ballot: “No Party Committee shall nominate or endorse a candidate for public office unless that candidate commits not to be identified on the ballot or any campaign material by any major party label, other than the Progressive Party.” Clavelle’s decision to reach out for the Burlington Democrat Party endorse ment, we’re told, was the subject o f a wee chat Saturday evening between the mayor and Congressman Bernie Sanders. The occasion was the mayor’s annual open-house Christmas party at his South Union Street hacienda. Sources say O f Bernardo, the father o f the Vermont Progressive movement, was none too pleased with Clavelle’s deci sion to court Democrats. Indeed, Sanders was noticeably absent at Clavelle’s Monday love fest. So were two very “pure” members o f the Prog Party’s exec utive committee: former State Reps. Dean Corren and Terry Bouricius. Corren currently serves on Bernie’s con gressional staff. Longtime readers know the duo as the “Self-Righteous Brothers.” In Prog circles, it doesn’t»get any purer than Corren and Bouricius. As everyone on the left knows, the recent election merely served to highlight the current dilemma. With Democrat Peter Shumlin and Progressive Anthony Pollina in the Lite-Gov race, Republican Brian Dubie breezed to victory with just 41 percent o f the vote. The vote o f the Vermont left was split. What to do?' Progressive City Councilor Jane

Knodell (Ward 2) opened the festivities Monday by facing that dilemma head on. Jane, a UVM economics prof, is one o f the brightest bulbs in the Progressive box. “It’s an important week,” declared Knodell, “because Peter Clavelle has asked those o f us on the broad left o f the political spectrum a question that has needed to be asked. The question is this: What is more important? Building affordable housing for the families o f our city, or holding on to old grudges and notions o f political purity? “What is more important? Trans forming our transit system to make a cleaner and more livable city, or holding on to old grudges and notions o f politi cal purity?” “What is more important? A strong local economy with sustainable business es, paying livable wages, or holding on to old grudges and notions o f political purity?” Ms. Knodell’s eloquent remarks hit the nail right on the head. Under our current system, as long as Vermont Progressives and Vermont Democrats fight each other, Vermont Republicans will be occupying the political winners’ circles for the foreseeable future. “I had no idea what she was going to say,” said Clavelle during the question period. “I thought that it was great. I think it’s time. It’s time to let go.” Time will tell. Bernie Sanders may not approve o f Clavelle’s move to drop the “grudges and false notions o f purity,” since they emanate from his mayoral revolution o f 1981. But the question for O f Bernardo is: I f you truly love the Vermont Progressive Party so much, why don’t you join it? The feet is, Bernie refused to put the Progressive Party label under his name on the ballot last month. As always, Mr. Sanders runs as an Independent. But when he’s on Capitol Hill, who does he hang out with? Democrats, that’s who. In feet, with but one exception — himself — every single member o f the Congressional Progressive Caucus that Sanders started is a Democrat. As Mr. Pollina departed Contois Auditorium on Monday, he said he doesn’t “hold grudges. I do stay very focused on my political principles, but I don’t hold grudges.” What will Clavelle’s abandonment o f “political purity” do to the Progressive Party?, we asked. “It’s going to be a long time before we know the answer to that question,” replied Tony the Prog. Let’s hope not too long, Anthony. The next election’s only 22 months away. Republican Gov. Jim Douglas and Republican Lite-Gov Brian Dubie will be going for a second term. And with help IN S ID E T R A C K »

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Curses, Foiled Again Two plain clothes police officers in Arlington, Virginia, witnessed Fernando Javier Arraya, 34, trying to steal a license plate from a parked car. One o f the officers was inside the vehicle at the time. The other was parked next to it. Both had their windows rolled down and their police radio turned on while they discussed strategies for catching car thieves when they spotted the sus pect. They said he looked around to see if anyone was watching, then walked to the front o f one o f the unmarked cruisers and began unscrew-

news

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Carpal-Tunnel Epidemic in the Making Workers at a debt-rid den Romanian car factory offered to sell sperm to help the plant regain sol vency. “Our feasibility study shows that if 1000 workers donate their sperm for several months, we can get enough funds to pay part o f the plants debts,” Ion Cotescu, trade union leader at ARO Campulung, said. Calling the solution “one that even the best economists have never thought of,” Cotescu explained that the idea for the fundraiser followed news that a fertility clinic in the western city o f

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ing the license plate. “My partner wanted to jum p out and grab him,” Officer Chris Feltman said. “I said, ‘Hold on, let’s see how far this goes. This is interesting.’” The officers arrested Arraya when he was unable to get the plate off and went back to his car for another tool.

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Everything You Know Is W ro n g Obesity ranks only 10th on the list o f risk factors causing disease and death worldwide, according to a report by the World Health Organiz ation. First, the W H O said, is being underweight.

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Timisoara was offering donors $50 a visit. The ARO Campulung plant, which makes Jeep-style four-wheeldrives, has debts o f $20 million.

United We Stand Michael Childress, 36, who was hired to process mail and donations to the Los Angeles Times' Sept. 11 Disaster Relief Fund, pleaded no contest to stealing more than $67,000 from the fund. Los Angeles County prosecutors said the thefts were discovered after several donors complained about grammatical and spelling errors in the thank-you notes that they received from the Times. Childress reportedly wrote the notes.

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• A Chicago company announced it has developed a process for turning cremated human remains into dia monds that can be worn as jewelry. Greg Herro, the head o f LifeGem Memorials, explained that carbon recovered from the ashes is subjected to heat and pressure to become a blue diamond. Adding that the diamonds are o f the same quality that “you would find at Tiffany’s” and cost $22,000 a carat, Herro said he expects the company’s biggest market to be Japan, where 98 percent o f the people choose cremation, compared with only 26 percent o f Americans.

once and for all the relationship between a man’s shoe size and penis length, British researchers gently stretched and measured the flaccid penises o f 104 urology patients, then recorded their shoe sizes. They con cluded there was “no statistically sig nificant relationship” between the two. When asked if any other body part might predict penile size, lead researcher Jyoti Shah o f St. Mary’s hos pital, London, said studies suggested that hand span, finger lengths or nose size “may be predictive.”

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Chapel in Nashville, Tennessee, Sullivan Brothers Mortuary in Spartanburg, South Carolina, and Junior Funeral Home in Pensacola, Florida, recently installed windows to allow mourners to pay their respects from their cars. “A lot o f people aren’t comfortable with coming into a funer al home,” Andrew Gardner Sr. said. “So when I designed the building, I wanted a window big enough so people could view the body from outside.” • When Ed Headrick, the creator o f the modern Frisbee and designer o f toy maker W ham-O’s first “profession al model” flying disc, died this sum mer at age 78, his family honored his wishes and molded his ashes into memorial flying discs for family members.

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H o m e (Rule) for the H olidays own Meeting Day may be more than two months away, but the activist push to get environmental and social issues on the agenda is in full swing. As it stands now, voters in dozens o f towns will be asked to weigh in on issues ranging from genetically modified foods to an Iraqi invasion. But because Vermont’s centralized form o f government puts almost all the power in Montpelier, none o f the actions taken by a town on its much-ballyhooed meeting day really matter. Unless the state legislature passes a bill specifically declaring that towns can ban nukes or protest the Patriot Act, they can have, in effect, a nice debate and nothing more. Many Vermonters would be surprised to know that we actually have less direct control o f our town government than our brethren in neighboring states. What about all that folksy talk about Vermont’s town meet ings being bastions o f grassroots democracy? “It’s a myth,” replies Vermont Secretary o f State Deb Markowitz, who plays referee between the state legisla ture and the towns. “It’s a big shock to a lot o f people in this state when they realize towns really don’t have much power. They can have a discussion on issues but they can’t enact laws.” Ironically, the self-determination o f local towns took a nosedive after the American Revolution. “We should not romanticize this his torical period,” Ben Grosscup writes in a pamphlet entitled Vermont Towns vs. Genetic Engineering, a publication o f the Institute for Social Ecology in Plainfield. “The newly formed U.S. government eviscerated local autonomy in favor o f a centralized republic first by state consti tutions drawn up during the Revolu tionary War and subsequently by the federal constitution.” Vermont’s companion states in New England eventually opted for what’s known as a “Home Rule” style o f state government that cedes power to the towns. Vermont, on the other hand, adheres to the legal principle known as “Dillon’s Rule,” which severely restricts town independence. * The League o f Cities and Towns, a nonprofit coalition o f Vermont’s local gov ernments, has been trying for years to get the state legislature to adopt a Home Rule style o f government. According to the League’s October 2002 newsletter, “the State o f Vermont is tied for last in terms o f autonomy granted to municipalities.” Interestingly, it’s the Republicans in the state legislature who are primarily _ against empowering local burgs — not the sort o f political stand you’d expect

What about all that folksy talk about Vermont's town meetings being bastions of grassroots democracy? "It's a myth," says Vermont Secretary of State Deb Markowitz.

from those who typically espouse decen tralized government. Jim Douglas, for one, is dead-set against Home Rule. During the League’s gubernatorial forum last fall, he was the sole candidate opposing the group’s call for granting cities and towns more power. Douglas even derided the idea as a “willy-nilly” change to the Vermont way o f legislating. But for citizens and town officials looking to maximize local democracy, there’s nothing “willy-nilly” about break ing up the near-monopolistic power cen tered in Montpelier. Advocates o f Home Rule point to numerous situations in which the entire state legislature had to be corralled into approving even the most basic local actions. “Several years ago towns tried to adopt ethics ordinances that would gov ern the ethical conduct o f their local offi cials,” Markowitz told Seven Days. “But they couldn’t do it until the state legisla ture passed a bill granting them that spe cific right.” The City o f Burlington has been repeatedly hamstrung by the current sys tem. Procedures as routine as charter changes require legislative sheperding through the Vermont Senate and House and all the way to the Governor’s office. The frustration is felt deeply among those looking to bring forth environ mental or social questions for town con sideration. While it’s relatively easy to get your pet issue on the agenda — all you need is a petition signed by 5 percent o f the town’s eligible voters — the best pos sible outcome is an advisory statement to the folks holding the real power in Montpelier or Washington. In the last couple o f years, the topic o f genetically modified agricultural prod ucts has been appearing on town-meet ing agendas. Spearheaded by the Institute for Social Ecology, dozens o f towns have passed resolutions calling for the legislature to either label or ban these controversial foods. But when activists sought to have their towns prohibit formers from grow ing these foods, they learned the hard way about the lack o f local power. In Marshfield, for example, the town mod erator declared “illegal” the petition call ing for a town “moratorium” on the pro duction o f genetically altered crops. Referring to the Vermont Constitution, Markowitz supported his opinion. “The towns can ask the legislature to enact a moratorium,” says Markowitz; “But they can’t enact one on their own.” Contrast this with citizen-based initiatives in Nebraska, Iowa and Pennsylvania that ban all forms o f corpo rate forming within specific townships. Now thats empowerment. While discussions and education that ensue at our town meetings are useful, Vermont’s cities and towns deserve the right to take action — just like they did before the Revolution. ®

Email Michael at mcolby@wildmatters.org

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As you can guess from her name, Fickle Fannie is hard to pre

dict. Her likes and dislikes change from one week to the next. This week, as always, the things

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she likes all follow a secret rule. Can you figure out what it is? (Keep in mind that Fickle

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spelled, how they sound, how they, look, what they mean or what’s inside them.)

She's amused by CHILDREN, but BOYS and GIRLS get on her nerves.

The LITERATI hold her attention, but she's bored by READERS of BOOKS.

She likes to count SHEEP, but for some reason doesn't care for RAMS or EWES.

She loves to eat GRAPEFRUIT, but won't touch GRAPES or ORANGES.

CD CL CL TO

BACTERIA don't bother her, but GERMS and COOTIES give her the heebie-jeebies.

For the most part she likes WOMEN, except for MOMS and GRANNIES.

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She likes most FISH, but EELS and SHARKS make her nauseated.

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SILVERWARE is okay in theory, but SPOONS and FORKS are not.

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She admires CATTLE, but not what BULLS do to COWS. E-< 55 •—«

Most PEOPLE are tolerable, but BABIES and GROWNUPS bite.

E m ail me with feedback an d questions: dd44art@ aol.com . Difficulty rating fo r

55 55

I f you cave, see the ANSW ER on page 12a. So much fo r Fickle Fannie’s tastes this

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Ip Theirs ot long ago, The Los Angeles Times reported “the results o f a new study” that said people with back pain feel “three times worse” when their spouses are in the room. Don’t be alarmed: “It’s not that the sufferers hate their loved ones, it’s that humans feel more pain when others take notice.” Or, as one researcher put it, “the solicitous spouse has become a cue for a more intense pain experi ence.” This news comes on the heels o f a New York Times report that “self-esteem,” the sole uniting principle o f modern edu cation, isn’t as hot as it looks. It seems that “‘D ’ students think as highly o f themselves as valedictorians, and serial rapists are no more likely to ooze with insecurities than doctors or bank man agers. High self-esteem, on the other hand, was positively correlated with racist attitudes, drunken driving and other risky behaviors.” What could be the purpose o f these “studies” and “results?” Do we really need “researchers” to tell us what we know from experience? Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief— could it be that the labels them selves are the problem? Whose “back pain” are we talking about, whose “spouse” and what “behaviors?” It’s like “meteorology,” otherwise known as the weather: It’s 20 ° below zero outside, but with the wind chill it “feels” like 4 0 ° below. Feels it to whom? In November, a “top Vatican official,” Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estevez, condemned the ordination o f “homosex ual men” in the Catholic priesthood, say ing that gay priests are “absolutely inad visable and imprudent, and from the pas toral point o f view, very risky.” It’s true, at least recently, that most o f the victims o f “priestly” abuse have been adolescent boys. But it’s by no means certain that their abusers are “homosexual.” And that’s an adjective, not a noun, as I like to point out at least once a year, with a nod to Gore Vidal, who points it out 20 times a year. The overwhelming majority o f sex offenders, if only because o f their higher numbers, have always been “het erosexual” men. I’m not going to give you a lecture about how we’re really all “bisexual,” moving on a “continuum” that ranges from ecstasy to gender mutilation. At the deepest level, ecstasy is always personal. You might even say that it’s “private.” I wonder why people think I’m “blaming the victim” when I say this. I’m as glad as anyone that Boston’s Cardinal Law has resigned, because his nest was foul indeed. But I also know that he did it in the only way he could — after conferring with the Pope. I believe the story o f Cardinal Law is a tragedy in the exact sense. Like many tragedies, his came from not believing the evidence o f his eyes and ears. Before you condemn me, the exCardinal or your priest, consider that you might live in Egypt. Last January, mem

bers o f suspected “homosexual organiza tions” — not the clergy — were rounded up and imprisoned in Cairo. “The Perverts Must Be Investigated,” said a headline in Al-Akhbar. “I do not know why this perversion has spread so conspicuously, either here in Egypt or globally,” wrote columnist Muhammad Abd Al-Mun’im Murad. If he read a bit o f Arab poetry he might get a better idea. But no: “What is regret table is that this distressing phenomenon is accompanied by campaigns defending the perverts’ right to do as they wish with their bodies!” In prison, Murad warns, “Those accused o f sex crimes and vice are the lowest o f the low, and they are treated worse than murderers, thieves, swindlers, counterfeiters or burglars. Crimes o f sex ual perversion are the worst a man can commit in the eyes o f conservative Egyptians. A man must remain a man.” And a “pervert,” in jail, can expect to be raped continually by these same men, not one o f whom regards himself as “homosexual.” If Americans think this is “foreign news,” common to “Islam” and “terror ists,” they should think about it harder. The U.S. Supreme Court recently agreed to rule on the constitutionality o f so domy laws in the 13 states still dim enough to have them. In nine o f these, “sodomy” means any kind o f “abnormal sex,” while Texas, Kansas, Missouri and Oklahoma — what you might call Bush country — have laws against “homosexu al sodomy” only. It’s a couple o f perverts from Texas whose case is being heard, in fact. One o f the worst effects o f corporate media, and o f T V news particularly, is the reduction o f all issues, great and small, to a world o f images and slogans. This is a process that began long ago, obviously, but I’m old enough to remem ber when it wasn’t quite done, when you could imagine that machines might be “interactive” only in fantasy. “Interactive” suggests that machines are intuitive rather than programmed, and for all I know they will be, just like we are. And if I’d been paid for every time I’ve seen Martin Niemoeller’s famous words on the Internet, I’d be sun ning myself somewhere: “In Germany, they came first for the communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, but I didn’t speak up because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protes tant. Then they came for me, and by that time nobody was left to speak up.” In a welter o f words, unfortunately not enough o f us take these seriously. ®

Email Peter at peterkurth@peterkurth.com

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experiments in which cotton pads soaked in donors’ armpit sweat were wiped on the upper lips o f recipients. She alleged that this process changed the length of the recipients’ cycles, calling the effect “definitive evidence o f human pheromones.” Did that settle matters? Nope. Other researchers suggest ed there was less going on than met the eye. Among the objections:

/! it'/*//? back I read an article about how sperm may be an antidepressantfor people who ingest it in one way or another. But that’s not my question. What interests me is that, a few months later, I read an article about the scientist who proposed that theory. He said what started him down that line o f think ing was that he read a study about how cohabiting lesbians’ menstrual cycles don’t sync up. He theorized it was because o f their lack o f sperm ingestion. Last I heard (but I have been out o f Catholic schoolfor over 17 years), nuns in a convent don’t ingest sperm, yet their menstrual cycles sync up. So what’s the deal with cohabiting lesbians? — Gordon Brooklyn, N Y Whoa. So many opportunities here for... well, I was going to say “tasteless remarks,” but in discussions like this, even the most innocuous comment can get you into trou ble. So never mind that — and while you’re at it, forget about cohabiting lesbians, sperm ingestion and nuns. The real news is that menstrual synchrony, first proposed in the world of science more than 30 years ago and now widely accepted as fact, may be nothing but a misperception. The whole thing began in 1971 when Martha McClintock, then a graduate student in psychology at Harvard (now a professor at the University of Chicago), published a paper in the scientific journal Nature suggesting that the menstrual cycles o f women who spend a lot of time together tend to synchronize over time. She studied 135 students in an all-female dorm and found a “significant increase in synchronization” in the onset of menses among close friends and roommates. She speculated that the cause might be pheromones, hormonal cues acting through the sense of smell. As scientific reports go, McClintock’s was a bombshell, catching the attention o f both specialists and ordinary folk. Several other investigators claimed to have replicated her findings, and soon heavy thinkers were constructing impres sive theoretical edifices about primate mating patterns and

• Apparent clustering of menstrual onsets doesn’t neces sarily mean anything. Assuming an average cycle of 28 days, the maximum time between two women’s onsets is 14 days. Since the minimum is zero, the average difference — what you’d expect purely by chance — is seven days, and half the time would be less. (In 1971 McClintock said she’d observed a decline in the average difference from seven days to five.) What’s more, women recording their onsets after the fact often misremember or are influenced by the recol lections o f their friends, skewing the data. • Menstrual synchrony in any meaningful sense is impossible when the women have cycles o f different lengths. (Cycle length varies considerably among women not using the pill.) Though a woman with a 27-day cycle might ini tially have her onset on the same day as a woman with a 29day cycle, the next month she’d be two days earlier, the month after that four days, and so on. No one has shown that supposedly synchronized women have cycles o f the same length — or that their cycles, if of different lengths at first, diverge less than they should over time. • Methodological errors can easily bias a data set to show menstrual synchrony where none exists. To demonstrate one common problem: Suppose a study starts on October 1. Subject A, with a 28-day cycle, has an onset on September 27, another on October 25, and a third on November 22. Subject B, with a 30-day cycle, has an onset on October 5 and another on November 4. A naive investigator could report that these subjects were 20 days apart at the outset (October 25 vs. October 5) and 18 days apart at their sec ond onset (November 4 vs. November 22). Ergo, the two are synchronizing. In fact, the two subjects were eight days apart to start with (September 27 vs. October 5) and are diverging. O f course, you can set up the numbers to arrive at the opposite conclusion; the point is that, given the small samples commonly used in studies o f menstrual synchrony, it’s easy to lead oneself astray. One skeptic (H.C. Wilson, 1992) has claimed that when you correct all the errors, including McClintock’s, the evidence for menstrual syn chrony evaporates. Currently the opposing camps are duking it out in the journals. (See the September 2002 Journal o f Comparative Psychology for the latest eruption.) I won’t say the prosyn chrony crowd is out o f the game, but right now it’s third and long.

such, all based on menstrual synchrony. In 1998, McClintock coauthored another Nature article reporting on

— C E C IL ADAM S

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

Fickle Fannie Answer:

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THE OTHER TV GUIDE

Girls G o Wild! aybe it’s something in designer bottled water, an unde tected side effect of Botox or the Los Angeles air. Who can say? All I know is, something is affecting high-pro file showbiz personalities, turning them into out-ofcontrol and occasionally dangerous wackjobs, and nothing is being done to stop it. Mariah Carey was among the first victims of the unnamed sickness. Following an impromptu striptease on M TV s “Total Request Live” the summer before last, the pop-music star suffered a highly publicized breakdown and had to be hospitalized. Many speculated that the collapse was linked to the toilet dive her career had taken. After signing a multi album deal with Virgin, reportedly worth $100 mil lion, both her big-screen debut Glitter and the record of the same name tanked so badly the company paid $28 million in January to get out of the contract. One of the most recognizable symptoms o f this mysterious malady is the celebrity sufferers delusion that the public is on pins and needles in anticipation of a tell-all interview. This, of course, is timed to coin cide with the release of a new product. Careys case is textbook. Not only has the 32-yearold Grammy winner recently made the talk-show rounds and released the new collection, Charm Bracelet. She also bared her soul in an hour-long, melodramatically titled M TV special, “Mariah Carey: Shining Through the Rain.” The broadcast offered members o f the studio audience an opportunity to benefit from the wisdom she herself gained in the course o f her ordeal: “Like, we were doing ‘Dateline’ and suddenly I went into, like, a striptease burlesque show,” she reflected during the Q&A. “I’m, like, it’s ‘TRL.’ I thought you were supposed to feel at home and do stupid stuff. I’m not going to stop being me because people don’t get me.” The prognosis isn’t good. In fact, it gets worse. On the subject o f her new album, Carey explained, “I put all the things I had gone through into my music.” Sounds like a real toe-tapper. A more fitting title might have been Loony Tunes. O f course, Carey is the picture of mental health next to Whitney Houston. The 39-year-old singer and Bodyguard star is currently making the rounds to pro mote her December 10 release, Just Whitney, and to generate public sympathy for her years of Hunter

brought against her. When asked about accusations that she hadn’t paid him for services rendered, Houston flew into a bug eyed rage. “They’ll never get $100 million out of me. I know that!” Ah, a touching sentiment for the holiday season. Winona Ryder. One of the most beloved, highest paid actresses of her gen eration nabbed in mid drug-fueled crime spree? Young, rich, talented, babeliscious and totally out of her mind. Perhaps hope lies in the kind of psychological counseling Ryder has been sentenced to receive. If it actually happens, it’ll be the closest thing to laboratory research that’s been done on the phenomenon thus far. The mysterious ailment is affecting divas in virtual ly every realm of entertainment. Rosie O ’Donnell is, being sued by the company that published her maga zine. Apparently the former Queen of Nice mutated into a holy terror once the cameras stopped rolling and the presses started. In its current issue, Vanity Fair has a real eye-popper on the League o f Their Own actress and the explosive behavior that terrified Rosie’s employees. “When one editor tries to explain just what was so frightening and humiliating about O ’Donnell’s rages,” writes the magazine’s reporter, “words almost fail her. ‘She had this way of staring straight ahead and scream ing, DID YOU N O T HEAR ME? WELL, YOU BETTER DO THAT!’ It was like a kid being abused.” Speaking of kids more in need of security guards than security blankets, who thought Michael Jackson could get any freakier? Now he’s dangling toddlers over high-rise hotel balconies and using a spider bite as an excuse to play hooky from court. Like Houston,

Mariah Carey is the picture of mental health next to Whitney Houston, Winona Ryder, Michael Jackson and Rosie O'Donnell. The list of the afflicted goes on and on. Thompson-level drug and alcohol use. Appearing December 4 on a special edition of ABC’s “Primetime” with Diane Sawyer, Houston did little to counter the public’s perception of her as a megalomaniacal bag o f bones. Her voice was as raspy as if she’d just sucked down a carton of unfiltered Camels. She hadn’t entered rehab, Houston explained, because she believed she could overcome her sub stance-abuse problems through the power o f prayer. She was evasive when questioned about rumors of domestic violence in her home life with rapper Bobby Brown, and defensive on the subject o f missed concert dates and live appearances. Houston claimed, for example, that she didn’t really blow off that Oscars telecast — the producers had fired her just before the show. Saddest, perhaps, was Houston’s reaction when Sawyer confronted her with the now infamous emacia tion photo taken during her performance at a Michael Jackson tribute. “Oh, that,” the singer shrugged. “That was just a bad angle.” Right. And it’s just the stripes on his jersey that make Dom DeLuis look fat. Pencil in a big-time breakdown in the not-too-distant future. The singers obviously in massive denial about a lot o f things. For example: the breach-of-contract suit her ailing 82-year-old father-manager has

the wacko one is facing repercussions from blowing off concert dates. The singer’s so out of it he doesn’t seem to realize he’d already played the spider-bite card in a previous public imbroglio. Maybe Michael should spend a little less time with prepubescent boys and a little more with the Orkin Man. The list of the afflicted goes on and on. Shania Twain is suffering from the delusion that fame’s not for her — a revelation timed, naturally, to promote the release of her new album. Brown Sugars Queen Latifah is dealing with a royal pain — a recent drunk driving collar. And erstwhile T V talk-show gnome Sally Jessy Raphael has filed suit against a tabloid for claiming she’s had a mental breakdown. Jennifer Lopez just got married for, what, the third time this year? A development coinciding — you guessed it — with the release of a new album and her new movie, M aid in Manhattan. Think that’s nutty? Get a load of some of her pre-nuptial demands: Hubby-of-the-month Ben Affleck will have to pay Lopez a fine o f $5 million should he get caught cheat ing on her. Little white lies will run him a cool million apiece! Martha Stewart scuttled an empire worth billions to save a few hundred thousand. Asked about that on CBS’s “The Early Show,” she stopped chopping salad and gave Jane Clayson a knife-wielding glare we’ll

never forget. Anna Nicole Smith is convinced audi ences are laughing with her. And, separated after just three months o f wedded weirdness, Lisa Marie Presley is still reeling from the shocker that Nicolas Cage isn’t husband material. If there’s a genetic component to the condition, it’s glaring in the saga o f super-bizarro Liza Minelli. Sure, the Cabaret star has always been a caricature o f her equally troubled, though eminently more talented, mother. For years Minelli has tediously yo-yoed between bloated, near-death dysfunction and highly publicized comeback attempts. The singer’s life took on a whole new dimension of strangeness last winter, however, when she took off something like a hundred pounds and took on producer David Gest as husband number five. Minelli’s behavior is symptomatic of the Hollywood-ravaging syndrome in several ways. First of all, Gest is gay. If Minelli doesn’t know this, she’s apparently the only figure in the entertainment indus try who doesn’t. When Elton John was asked what he would give Liza as a wedding present, he answered, “a heterosexual husband.” Secondly, Minelli has made it clear she’ll do any thing, however mortifying, for just one more minute in the limelight. She almost got it. Publicists for the couple somehow managed to convince V H 1 brass that their life together would make the perfect “Osbournes”-style reality show. Everybody signed the necessary papers and “Liza & David” went into pro duction. Sort of. Liza was, by all accounts, deliriously happy about the gig and made herself available upon request, but David took a different tack. A self-described “neat freak,” he alienated all involved by requiring camera crews to wear surgical booties in the pair’s apartment. He canceled taping on 20 separate occasions, prevent ed the show’s crew from having access to his wife, and placed a bodyguard outside the couple’s door to make sure they couldn’t get in. Consequently, the network pulled the plug on the series before it ever aired. “For better or worse” is one thing. Putting up with crap like that is above and beyond the call. How many o f this country’s best and brightest will succumb before action is taken? It’s time for a telethon, or Senate testimony, something. If a cure isn’t found soon, we’re going to wake up some morning, turn on the T V and spit hot coffee all over the carpet when America’s sweetheart Katie Couric, without warning, reveals the name of her other personality, clambers onto the news desk to do a perky striptease and screams at Al Roker, when he’s too dumbstruck to announce the weather, “DID YOU N O T HEAR ME? WELL, YOU BETTER DO THAT!” The nation has been through a lot lately. That, though, might be more than any country can take. ®

16A I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

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be Jim Douglas was asked at his press conference last Thursday to comment on Republican U.S. Sen. Trent Lott’s racist remarks at Sen. Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday bash. Lott, as everyone knows, said America ! wouldn’t have all these problems,” if Thurmond, the segregationist candidate for president in 1948, had captured the White House. ‘Well, the comments rha* I’ve heard reported bv Sen Lott,” answered Mr. Dougias, “are unfortunate. The;, a unac ceptable in my view. I’m nor ira position to suggest whether hought to be the leader tor 1 ;e coming session o f the Congress That’s a question for the Senate Republican caucus to decide, but 1 was unhappy to read his public comments.’ Asked if he considered Lott's comments “racist, Douglas indicated he did not Really? Jeezum crow, er, Jim Crow? That same day even President George W. Bush whacked Lott, cailuig his comments “offensive and wrong.’ Late Tuesday, with Lott’s star falling fast, Douglas updated his remarks and issued a statement: “Senator Lotts comments were offensive, especially to those who fought to end the terrible and immoral practice o f segre gation. Senator Lott’s remarks were at best misguided, insensi tive and disrespectful.” Better late than never, eh? Too bad Diamond Jim couldn’t have dropped his Republican partisanship sooner and showed a little backbone, eh?

TV News Ratings — The November Nielsen T V ratings are out and sounds o f celebra tion are coming from the local T V station with the Plattsburgh, New York, head quarters. W PTZ Ch. 5, owned by the Hearst-Argyle chain, was first in the Burlington-Plattsburgh Metro Market at 6 and 11. The Metro includes 76,000 house holds in Vermont and 44,000 households on the New York side o f our great lake. And W PTZ finally caught up with and passed W CAX, “Vermont’s Own,” in the larger “D M A ,” which stands for “Designated Marketing Area.” The DM A includes all o f Vermont, the New York side o f Lake Champlain plus a slice o f New Hampshire. “I think we’ve got the momentum going,” said W PTZ news director Andy Wormser. A few months ago Mr. Wormser launched the market’s first 5 p.m. Monday-throughFriday newscast, and the ratings indicate it quickly built a solid audience. W PTZ ’s “First at Five,” with Erin Connors in the anchor chair, clobbered the

competition in the Metro and finished in a dead heat with W CA X’s reruns o f “Friends” in the larger DMA. The Metro numbers for the 6 p.m. news give W PTZ a whop ping 44 percent o f the audience. W CAX gets 28 percent and W VNY continues to finish a dis tant third, with a measly 3 per cent o f the T V news pie. At 11 p.m., W PTZ increases its lead in the Metro, doubling ’ Ch. 3’s audience. And “W PTZ plus, which is W PTZ and its White River junction station, W NN E, pulls ahead of Ch. 3 in the DMA. Rut don't let rbe numbers tool you. Marselis Parsons H remains # ! in Vermont. According to Nielsen. 5? percent nf Vermont T V set' tuned to Marsillyiss and Sera Congi at 6 o’clock, Only 15 percent o f the TVs on the Vermont side of the lake are tuned to Stephanie Gorin and

Thom Hallock. Meanwhile, on the New York shore, hardly anyone's watching the Ch. 3 news W CAX draws just 3 percent of the New York audience at 6 o’clock. Ch. 5 s got a solid 78 percent. W CAX, after all, has had just one reporter, Jack LaDuke, dedicated full-time to New York. They’re just breaking in a new one, Adam Sullivan. Meanwhile, W PTZ has a bureau in Colchester with three reporters plus W N N E. ■>iil “We focus on the Champlain Valley,” said Wormser. After all, Ch. 5 now calls itself “the Champlain Channel.” Ch. 3 calls itself “Vermont’s Own.” “Historically,” Wormser told Seven Days, “Ch. 3 is stronger in Vermont and we’re stronger in New York.” But he suggested his sta tion’s good showing in the DM A this time is due to the fact that “More Vermonters see us as a viable choice.” Meanwhile, what can be said about Ch. 22? In the last year W VNY news has added “A Hard Look with Ruth Dwyer,” and insightful weekly commentaries by retired A BC network correspondent Barrie Dunsmore. (Barrie’s take on the Homeland Security Bill, by the way, was right on!) A 3 percent share is nothing to write home about. But it is an improvement over their pre vious 2 percent. Hey, wait a minute. That’s actually a 50 percent audience increase! Get ready, folks, for the promos declaring Ch. 22 News with Eric Greene and Lara Yamada “the fastestgrowing T V news operation in the Champlain Valley.”

Media Notes — Meanwhile, in a near-miraculous develop ment at The Burlington Free Press, The Freeps has gone for age over beauty and brought in an older gent to cover the City Hall beat. And for the first time in our 20-plus years on the

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 T in sid e track 17A

beat, the Freeps city hall reporter is older than the mayor! John Briggs is a ripe but frisky 57. The Indiana native told Seven Days that until about five years ago, he was a college English professor. Professor Briggs taught American Literature around the world, from China to Morocco to the University o f Michigan. Then he decided it was time to try something different — journalism. Cool. For the past three years Mr. Briggs was the city hall reporter for the Observer-Dispatch, Gannett’s Utica, New York, paper. Also on the personnel front, talented Ch. 5 reporter Collin Parker is departing shortly for “greener” pastures. Green in the sense o f greenback dollars. Collins joining the distin guished public relations staff at Fletcher Allen Health Care. Mr. Parker will take over the desk vacated by Jason Gibbs, press secretary for incoming Gov. Jim Douglas. Congratulations! And finally, kudos to Vermont A.P. bureau chief Christopher Graff. Chris interviewed Gov. Howard Dean shortly after Al Gore announced Sunday that he’s dropping out o f the race. The following appeared the next day in the “Political Note” on the ABC News Web site: “Note to the world: get in good with Mr. Graff. He’s the David Broder o f Vermont pol-

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Happy Holidays! — Next week Inside Tracks annual “Year in Review” graces this space. Then Seven Days takes a week off. First issue o f the New Year will be January 8. Have a good one! By then, Trent Lott will be toast. ® Email Peter at InsideTrackVT@aol.com

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Corrections — Last week we incorrectly reported that the newly elected House Democrat leadership duo marks the first time a House caucus has had all-female lead ership. Not true. Twenty years ago, Rep. Judy Stephany was the Democrat leader and Rep. Althea Kroger was the whip. Also, in 1853 Jefferson Kidder, a Democrat, was cho sen by the legislature to be lieu tenant governor even though he finished second in the gen eral election with just 38 per cent o f the vote. Kidder’s the only Lite-Gov in Vermont his tory who received a lower per centage o f the vote than our incoming Lite-Gov Brian Dubie. No kidding. Earlier we incorrectly reported DoobieDoo reflected the all-time low with 41 percent. Sorry.

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Liberties

W h o s e n o se s are in y o u r library b o o k s ?

aybe you’ve seen the T V spot. A young man approaches the reference desk o f a public library and asks the librarian for help finding som e books. T h e librarian inform s him that those books are no longer available. “M ay I have your nam e, please?” she asks. Su d denly, two men in dark suits approach the young man

STORY

and grab him by the arms. As they lead him away he asks, “W hat did I do?” T h e tagline on this public

KEN P IC A R D

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the Ad C ou n cil’s “C am paign for Freedom” — reads, “W hat if Am erica wasn’t A m erica?”

JO R D A N SILVERM AN

It’s a question librarians in Vermont and around the country have been asking themselves since the passage last year o f the U SA Patriot Act, a sweeping piece o f legislation that gives the federal government

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broad new powers to, am ong pther things, snoop into' ,.r b r / c t a iio r m fc°n vTfckfti am Ttni to, ,2nou library patrons reading a n a com putet nabits without their knowledge or approval. Librarians, who have , long seen themselves as defenders o f the fundamental right to read and gather inform ation without govern ment intrusion or interference, are now wrestling with ways to com ply with the new law while still uphold ing the basic tenets o f the C onstitution. “T h e reason why this resonates is because for a long time people have considered libraries really safe places ro learn about whatever you’re interested in without being afraid som eone is going to judge you for it,” says Trina M agi, a reference librarian at the University o f Verm ont’s Bailey/Howe Library and past president o f the Vermont Library A ssociation. “ I think [the Patriot Act! m akes people uncomfortable. It certainly makes librarians uncom fortable.” Even before the Patriot Act, libraries traditionally kept a tight grip on their users' records, retaining only the personal data necessary for operating the library. “ In practice, we try as much as possible to minimize the kind o f personal inform ation that can be called u p ,” says M ara Saule, dean o f University Libraries and Inform ation Technology at U V M . “O u r policy has always been that unless a judge orders it, we would not give out that inform ation.”

“ My doctor says that if I don’t take my medications, I’ll spend this holiday in the hospital. Without help from the state prescription drug program, there’s no way I could afford my drugs.” Our lawmakers know that thousands of older and disabled Vermonters rely on our state prescription drug assistance programs for their health and safety.

Please don't cut where it already hurts.

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Like many librarians, Saule is deeply troubled by this federal law, which underwent little congressional debate or revision and no public hearings. “It’s the whole principle of the Patriot Act which is problem atic,” she says. “It hits to the fundamental values not just o f libraries but of education and democracy generally in terms of privacy, censorship and civil liberties.” Vermont law grants strong privacy protections of library-user records similar to those afforded to med ical records, educational test scores, tax returns, pro prietary trade secrets and the like. But in this case, federal law trumps state law. That means that in today’s neo-McCarthyist climate, if the FBI or other law-enforcement agents want to check out what you’re checking out, there’s not much you can do about it. Reportedly, no agents o f the Thought Police have gone rifling through the user records o f Burlington’s Fletcher Free Fibrary or UVM libraries hunting for suspects in the “war on terrorism” — not that their

SEVENDAYS I December 18-25, 2002 I feature 19A

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Cornish Hen Roasted with Potatoes, Pancetta and Sage CHECKED OUT Fred Hill of the Fletcher Free Library exchanges words with a patron, librarians could tell us even if they had. The USA Patriot Act puts library staffs under a permanent gag order prohibiting them from informing library users, or anyone else, that their records have been investigat ed. This makes it extremely difficult to know just how widespread the practice has become. Nevertheless, a survey conducted last January by the Library Research Center at the University of Illinois hints at the chilling effect the Patriot Act was having just three months after its passage. In a survey of 1028 libraries nationwide, one in five said their staff members had changed their attitude toward, or treatment of, library patrons, and at least half o f those had begun taking notice of what patrons were check ing out. Four percent reported that law-enforcement agents had come in requesting information on pa trons, or that the library had reported patrons’ records to outside authorities. “We do know that law-enforcement agents are vis iting libraries and looking for information, and that investigations are going on,” says Deborah CaldwellStone, deputy director o f the American Library Associations Office for Intellectual Freedom. The most flagrant example occurred in the Chicago suburb of Bridgeview, where in the aftermath of 9/11, FBI

Librarians at UVM and Fletcher Free Library say their boarJc only recently began revisiting their poli cies to address Patriot Act .concerns. For example, Amber Collins, co-director of Fletcher Free Library, says they no longer require Internet users to sign up for computers, fearing such data might later be used to reconstruct who was visiting what Web sites and when. Maintaining user privacy is not only about hightech fixes. Frontline library staffs also need to be trained to respond if and when the police ask to see their records, since federal law doesn’t require investi gators to wait arourid for a library to consult its legal counsel. “Many times law-enforcement agents will deliberately target the library clerk, who they assume doesn’t know better, and try to persuade or intimidate them into turning over information they’re not enti tled to,” Caldwell-Stone says. She recommends libraries do a “privacy audit” to find out where poten tial leaks of personal information might occur. Such defensive measures are not as paranoid as they sound. Back in the 1980s it was revealed that for years the FBI had operated the Library Awareness Program, in which agents would approach library clerks and persuade them to turn over information on

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In today’s neo-McCarthyist climate, if the FBI or other law-enforcement *T h e O u td o o r G e a r E x d agents want to check out what you’re , Hi frank ftt., Burlington 66AEXX0 M (803) checking out, there’s not much you can do about it. agents visited a public library looking for the records of individuals running Islamic charities in the area. The repercussions of such snooping around? Li brary boards are feeling the need to reexamine their records-retention policies and to look more closely at their computer software to find out exactly what per sona! data are being stored, and where, says CaldwellStone. Many libraries now require that patrons use passwords to access databases, which can be stored on servers located off the library’s premises, she explains. Other libraries use back-up software that may inadver tently retain personal-lending data. Theoretically, all that data can be accessed without the library,^or the user, even knowing it, creating the potential for wide spread abuse. “It has made it much simpler for federal government agents to collect information and do it in a way that’s more ‘data mining’ than targeting of an individual, looking for patterns of information movement rather than just looking at an individual’s activities,” says Caldwell-Stone. “They no longer have to allege that criminal activity has actually taken place or [is] threat ening to take place. They just have to say that they need this information for an ongoing investigation.”

research being done by students from Eastern Bloc nations, or those suspected of being sympathetic to Soviet interests. Although ALA representatives met with William Webster, then director of the Central Intelligence Agency, requesting that the program be dropped, Caldwell-Stone admits, “We don’t know what ever happened to it.” Since passage of the USA Patriot Act, at least 18 towns, counties and cities — including Burlington — have passed so-called “Civil Liberties Safety Zone” resolutions voicing their opposition to provisions that threaten civil liberties, run contrary to state and feder al privacy protections and undermine the Consti tution. Similar resolutions are in the works in 50 other cities in 24 states. And the Vermont Library Association, like many such groups around the coun try, has penned a letter to its state’s congressional dele gation requesting that provisions o f the Patriot Act that violate library-user privacy be revoked. Thus far, no librarians have publicly announced their willingness to violate the Patriot Act — a move that could mean going to jail. But it may be just a matter of time before a librarian gets booked for defending your right to read a book. Q)

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M S TORY

AM Y SO U Z A

y friend Jonah Jackson wrote a novel last ,, : r ; November. He told me this in April while my hus band and I were visiting him in San Francisco. He said it without an ounce o f pretension, with no hint that he had achieved the impossible: “I wrote a novel.” I was stunned. And intrigued. I mean, who writes an entire novel in one short month? Lots o f people, as it turns out. Jonah wrote his novel as part o f National Novel Writing Month — a.k.a. NaNoWriMo — a 30day, 50,000-word odyssey started four years ago by another Bay Area resident, Chris Baty. A freelance writer, Baty says too many people carry around a “One day” novel in their heads — as in, “One day I’ll write a novel.” “People wait on writing their novel until the. golden illumination, until a story presents itself with an intricate plot, all braided together, with duplicity and a hero,” Baty said. “NaNoWriMo [turns] all o f that ‘I have to wait’ to ‘I have to start that novel today,’ and the pieces come together as people write.” Strangely, 27-year-old Baty never felt compelled to write fiction before, claiming he’s “really bad at dialogue.” But the Kansas native says he was always carsick on family trips because he couldn’t take his nose out o f whatever book he was reading. He loves novels so much he thought it would be fun to write one; 50,000 words seemed close enough to novel length but not so long that it would be impossible to achieve in 30 days. The first year, NaNoWriMo attracted about 20 people, mostly Baty’s friends. The second year, 100 people joined; the next, 5000. “The idea that it would get over 200 people seemed beyond the pale, because it’s such a masochistic way to spend the month,” Baty said. This year, 14,000 people signed up, including me and 23 others from Vermont. People come to NaNoW riMo for different rea sons. Some join just for fun. “It sounded like the kind o f time-wasting, absurd activity that I love to take part in,” says Jeremy Paquette o f Dorset. Others, like Cathy Wright o f Middlebury, hope it will push them to complete a story. “I’m a real pro crastinator and never finish anything,” she confess es. Me? I guess I wanted to see what I could . <v.-, accomplish.

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I write for a living, mostly articles and the occa sional nohfyttfph T V s£grrierVt. Writing'is also my passion, but it doesn’t come easily. I haven’t com pleted much fiction as an adult, except for a screen play in graduate school and a couple o f really bad short stories. I like what I do for a living. But fic tion keeps calling, and I keep not answering. Because to answer would mean facing up to my least favorite writing companion: my Inner Critic. Most writers wrestle with their own version o f the Inner Critic. Mine points out, among other things, that people will read into my fiction what m y subconscious puts there. Do 1 really want oth ers peering that deeply inside me!1

ries. Why, then, did I think I could complete a novel im Kfdays? But NaNoWriMo is not about < y producing a saleable book, I reminded myself. In the parlance o f Anne Lamott, it’s about writing a really long, shitty first draft. When the goal is word count, the tenets o f good writing go out the window. Forget William Zinsser’s On Writing Well; don’t even think about The Elements o f Style. If you can say something in many words over one word, you go for it. So “ambition” becomes “a sense o f ambition”; “need ed” becomes “felt the urge.” The expectation o f crappy prose feels freeing to many local Wrimos, including Cathy Wright. “Because I knew nothing

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When the goal is word count, the tenets of good writing go out the window. Forget William Zinsser’s On Writing Weil; don’t even think about

The E lem ents o f Style. With a looming deadline its easier to ignore that negative inner voice and get to work. And to meet the NaNoWriMo deadline you’ve got to work fast. Not only that, you’re encouraged — even expected — to write crap. So who cares if your story is about nothing? Just get to it. The day I declared myself a “Wrimo” I felt giddy, and for the next two weeks I let the excite ment o f knowing that I’d soon be writing aViovel sink in. Sticking to the rules o f the game, I jotted down notes, attempted a few outlines and day dreamed... not about my characters, but about how great it would feel when I was done. And then came November 1. I turned on my computer, opened Microsoft Word and stared hard at the blank, white screen. I felt sick. A few weeks earlier I had seen an interview with Sandra Cisneros, who mentioned spending nine years on her latest novel. I’ve also read about writers who spent as much time or more writing short sto-

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had to be good, my story took on a life o f its own,” she says o f her semi-autobiographical “goofy romance.” * An English teacher at Middlebury High School, Wright was the only one o f eight friends-and-family Wrimos to reach the 50,000-word goal. She explains, “They were way too concerned with quali ty and I was very committed to the quantity.”

I kept my butt in the chair that first day and pounded out 1900 words; the next day I wrote 400; and the next, 1000. My story — working title, Flatlanders — was about a group o f people who had moved to Vermont, separately, for various reasons. I planned that eventually they would all meet and, well, something would then happen.

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Right from the beginning I encountered problems. I had five characters vying for the position o f protagonist. I had no antago nist. And forget narrative struc ture. My story had no beginning, no middle, no end. It didn’t even have plot points — o r a plot, for that matter. Lucky for me: NaNoWriMo’s motto is “No Plot? No Problem!” Whenever I felt bad about my writing, and by extension myself, I visited the N aNo message boards, where the NaN o com munity gathered online to com miserate, share writing tips and chat. During the first week I started at the “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” forum. I felt infi nitely better knowing that other people doubted their talents as much as I did my own. By mid month, however, I needed to read only positive messages. I sought out forums like “Reach ing 50,000” and “This Is Going Far Better Than I Had H oped.” One forum I particularly liked was called “Janet Kagans Little Corner o f Hell Room Party.” A published author and Hugo award winner, Kagan had responded with encouragement to one o f my posts in another forum. I started seeing her name on many message boards; all o f

On November 20 I hit 25,000 words, the halfway point. Paging through my text — some bad, some really bad, some actually O K — I thought, How did I get here? I’d never written one piece longer than 2500 words, and here I was with 10 times that amount. I couldn’t imagine writ ing that same amount in the next 10 days. Two days later I was still at 25,000 words. Life had inter rupted in the form o f work assignments, and as the weekend approached I found myself faced with hard choices. I wanted to go to the craft fair at the Sheraton, the sock sale in Northfield, and out to brunch with friends. For some reason I also felt compelled to watch the entire Monarch o f the Glen marathon on BBC America. I skipped everything, except brunch. Still, I only man aged 9000 more words during the next week. On Thanksgiving I drove to my mother’s in Massachusetts, where my family gathered, including my brother, whom I only see once a year. Two days later — the official end date of NaNoWriMo — my mother threw a party for me and my husband to celebrate our wed-

“It sounded like the kind of time-wasting, absurd activity that I love to take part in,” Jeremy Paquette

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her posts contained cheerleading, prodding and writing advice. This was Kagan’s second year as a Wrimo, and I wondered why a published novelist would join in. “I had such fear o f a blank page for so long,” she told me. “Seeing all those people who had never done it before sign up, I said, if they’re so brave, how could I be such a wimp?” Writing fast actually has bene fits, Kagan told me. “At that speed you get a lot more out o f your subconscious than you’d expect.” NaNoWriMo may be abo&t speed, but it’s not a race. There are no prizes for finishing fitst. No one at N aN o H Q reads Ulyone’s work. Those who complete the challenge can send in a text file for automatic word-count verification, and upon reaching 5OK the status bar next to your online screen name turns from blue to purple. That’s it. “It’s a bizarre, non-competi tive competition. It’s like running a marathon, but with people ready to carry each other if they fall,” Baty comments. If there is any competition, it’s with yourself — to overcome your own fears and inertia, to conquer your procrastination and actually put pen to paper. In that regard, every Wrimo who writes a word is a winner.

ding with my entire extended family. My laptop sat unopened all weekend. More than 2000 people, including seven Vermonters, completed their NaN o novels this year. My friend Jonah wrote 5000 words before deciding he’d rather spend this November on his bike than at his computer. I ended up with 34,000 words. In one o f Janet Kagan’s forum posts she explained how, 18 years ago, she completed her first novel, Uhura's Song, by writing 150,000 words in three months. “I NaNoW riMo’d the first draft, spent nine months on the rewrite, got published. Was the agony worth it?” she asks rhetori cally. “Hell, yes!” O f course, most Wrimos won’t get published, even if they do complete the 50,000 words. But again, that’s not the point. “The best thing people could come away with is a realization that culture and art are not something you need to buy at a bookstore or purchase a ticket for,” says Chris Baty. “You, as a human, have the ability to be part o f it, and life will be so much richer if you roll up your sleeves. You just need to make a little more time.” The N ational Novel Writing Month takes place each November. This year the requested donation was $ 1 0 per person. For more

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I feature 23A

S k ip

An excerpt from Flatlanders

— A.S.

a n d

G et it A L L

in ...

Waitsfield & Warren

When Jenna was a baby, her parents called her just that, ‘Baby.” Her father had insisted chat his daughter name herself (that he could bestow upon her a name that she would keep with her till death, he said, was just another horrible oppression foisted on innocents), Hannah went along with this idea, per haps to keep the peace in the uready fragile household or, nore likely, because the idea felt ’>..-ward-thinking, not 'square nd fifties” like her parents world She was a responsible vomao; Hannah, bn: carried with tier some bitterness still at her the reatmeni: she'd received worn her parents before shed left kansas. Hannah had hoped Jenna would choose a colorful name, one was particularly fond of ainbow, though she thought mavbe the girl would choose Sunshine ’ since It was her avorite song ana she sang it over and over and insisted Hannah urn nr the small radio in the Kitchen each time it came on. ‘Sunshine gt awav today,” the »rle etiri wouia sing earnestly. “I don’t feel much like dancing.” She never grasped the rest o f the lyrics and, instead, would hum with her mouth open, which produced a sound somewhere between a kazoo and a native American chant. As Jenna grew, her parents alternately called her “Baby” and “Little Girl” but it started to become awkward, and grew to unbearable the day Hannah brought the child to reading group at the town library. The other mothers asked the toddlers name, and when Hannah explained the situation, looked at her as if she were off her rocker. “Their eyes said, ‘bad mother,’” she cried to Richard that night. The next morning, Hannah and Richard sat their daughter down and explained the situa tion, as much as one can explain such things to a three-year-old. As she scratched a no-name cray on across a rolled-out sheet o f newsprint, the child cocked her head to the side and said, “Jenna.” Hannah and Richard looked at one another. “Honey,” Hannah said. “Is that what you want your name to be? Jenna?’ The girl nodded. Richard said, ‘Do you mean Jenni/er or just Jenna?” “Just Jenna,’ the girl said, intent on filling in the oblong center o f a bug she’d just created on paper. Hannah tried to hide her disappointment as she said, “Sweetie, remember how you like to draw rainbows?” Jenna nodded. “Well that could be a nice name for you, don’t you think? Rainbow. That’s a nice name,” Hannah said. “No, rainbows live in the sky and Jenna lives in a house.”

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he first thing Yvonne noticed was the wallpaper. Under a black-light bulb in the ceiling fixture, the Day-Glo greens and purples seemed to undulate. The design reminded her o f paramecia in distress, although she couldn’t recall ever having seen any protozoan life forms in person, and certainly none that were particularly upset. In the dim lobby, Yvonnes eyes strug gled to focus. She could make out a small wooden sign with ornate lettering: “Wel come to Lotus Landing,” it read. “Good Vibes Guaranteed.” “And that’s a fact,” a voice assured her. Yvonne turned and saw a smiling man with a wild, frizzy mane o f gray hair. “You must be the new chick.” Startled by this designation, she could only think to state the facts: “I’m Yvonne Douglas.” “They call me Pablo,” he said. “I used to be Larry Bloomenthal, until the first time I dropped acid and a ginkgo tree told me I was actually a reincarnated peasant farmer from Paraguay.” “Paraguay?” Yvonne asked idly, won dering if was too late to get back her down payment. She vaguely remembered

almost a decade, she was still healthy and financially secure on a pension from 35 years o f teaching English literature at a private school in Greenwich. Her two children and three grandchil dren were busy making money, and one great-grandchild was partying his way through high school. Anticipating a time when she might become more needy, Yvonne felt it was best to find a continu ing-care facility. Florida and Arizona homes for the aged that she researched were clean and effi cient, populated by friendly, helpful peo ple. Yet these places lacked something she could not quite define. Soul, perhaps. A sense o f adventure. Mystery. Those elusive wonders o f life that inspire poetry. When the Lotus Landing brochure arrived with its New Mexico postmark, Yvonne acted with uncharacteristic impul siveness. She signed on the dotted line. After flying in from her native New England just after Thanksgiving, Yvonne was a bit astounded when the Way-Out Welcome Team picked her up at the air port in Santa Fe. The Lotus Landing cour tesy van, its windows outlined with twin kling Christmas bulbs, was a 1967

When the Lotus Landing brochure arrived with its New Mexico postmark, Yvonne acted with uncharacteristic impulsiveness. She signed on the dotted line. — ah, memory! — some dense wording in the contract about refunds. This is the last time I ’ll ever commit to something sight unseen, she silently vowed. But Lotus Landing had sounded so promising in the brochure mailed to her: “A retirement home for the ever-youthful nonconformist; a place for artistic, socially conscious free spirits to dwell in ecological harmony. Lotus Landing, where we really give peace a chance.” Yvonne had always fancied herself a poet and therefore a misfit. A shy loner by nature, she had never joined any groups in Connecticut or followed any trends. Now, at the age o f 76, her husband gone for

Volkswagen in mint condition, despite half a century o f service. It had been painted with vivid psychedelic aplomb: Yvonne could discern a phantasmagoric scene o f earthy and celestial images, with moon, sun and stars, a cactus in bloom, magic mushrooms, a spider’s web and two words: The Mellowmobile. Now, standing in the lobby with Larry Bloomenthal, a.k.a. Pablo, she felt disori ented. “Does everything here look like this?” she asked, gesturing at the paramecium wallpaper. “Pretty cool, huh?” He pointed at the black-light bulb on the ceiling. “You can ask for strobes in your room. But if you

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SEVEN DAYS want grow lights, you gotta pay extra.” “Grow lights?” Yvonne was beginning to feel she was translating from a language she did not quite comprehend. “To cultivate weed, man!” Pablo laughed conspiratorially, then confided: “I got some dynamite sensimilla seeds.” Before Yvonne could react, they were joined by a tall woman in an ankle-length black-velvet dress. She had several pendants dangling from silver chains around her neck, dozens o f bracelets on each wrist, a ring on every finger and a cluster o f striped feathers clipped to her long white hair. This flashy doyenne had somehow managed to paint tiny fuchsia floral patterns around each o f the liver spots on her forehead. “What’s your sign?” she asked Yvonne. “Let me guess,” Pablo said, looking thoughtful. “Virgo, I bet. Or a Capricorn.” “I... I don’t know,” Yvonne stammered, feeling foolish. “My birthday is February 12th.” “Ah, an Aquarius!” the woman pro claimed. “We’ll put you next door to a groovy couple, the Weathervanes. Aurora Borealis is a Libra and Snowflake’s a Taurus on the cusp o f Gemini. Just between us, they used to be Norman and Connie Washington before they turned on, tuned in and dropped out. By the way, I’m Lucia d’Amore, a Pisces and Lotus Landing’s Cosmic Transitions Guide. Follow me.” “Her real name’s Betsy Bostwick,” Pablo whispered as Lucia swept away in a swirl o f black velvet and clanking jewelry. “Her old man was a civil-rights lawyer. Heavy dude.” Trailing after Betsy/Lucia, Yvonne looked back at Pablo and observed that his walker was decorated with beads, bells, seashells and yellowed slogan buttons bearing messages like “Free the Chicago Seven!” and “U-.S. O ut o f Southeast Asia Now!” “Later, babe,” said Pablo, raising his gnarled right hand in a fist, a power-to-thepeople salute. “Is he... was he an activist?” Yvonne asked. “Wasn’t everybody?” Striding along the wide hallway, Lucia made a face that seemed to indicate disapproval. “Actually, Pablos kind of a Taoist-anarchist. Our serious radicals around here, the ones endlessly vowing to ‘smash the state,’ are Milton Shabazz and Ruby Rainforest. They were planning to take over the administration office, but I think her arthritis is acting up.”

As Yvonne hurried to keep up with Lucia, she glimpsed a bulletin board with announcements o f various events: a screening o f Easy Rider, a tie-dye workshop, the meet ing o f a feminist consciousness-raising group, and a book discussion that would be tackling the Carlos Casteneda trilogy. Unseen speakers piped in a vaguely famil iar song: “Hello, cowgirl in the san d ...,” a man crooned. “Is that Crosby, Stills and Nash?” Yvonne asked. “Neil Young. Rock ’n’ roll will never die,” Lucia said with a dreamy giggle. “I used to hang out with The Buffalo Springfield. I was something o f a groupie in my day, you know.” “I was always more o f a folk music fan, I guess,” Yvonne acknowledged, experiencing waves o f recollection — intimate coffee hous es, festivals on lush green hillsides, quiet Sunday mornings with The New York Times, bagels, Tom Rush on the stereo and cedar waxwings clustering around a feeder just out side the kitchen window. “We get a little o f everything here. It depends on the D J. We have Deadheads galore, o f course. They also play Phil Ochs, the Stones, Dylan, Joni Mitchell, maybe Van Morrison, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Jefferson Airplane. ‘Go ask Alice; I think she’ll kn ow ...’” Lucia suddenly sang, slightly off-key. “Our house band is The Lotus Counterculture Connection, but they don’t have an album yet. Here’s your pad.” Tacked onto the door Lucia had opened was a poster that featured a very pregnant black woman holding her stomach. Scrawled underneath the image was “Nixon’s the One!” Inside, Yvonne saw a large living room with faded barn-board walls, a picture window over looking a spectacular desert vista, a patchwork arrangement o f mismatched Oriental rugs on the floor, and a golden-hued batik Indian bed spread on the couch. The furniture was an eclectic mix o f funky antiques, Southwest mod ern and junkyard finds. There were macrame plant holders hanging everywhere, and numer ous half-burned candles on the wooden spool coffee table. Yvonne thought she detected a faint aroma o f patchouli oil. “Feel free to change anything,” Lucia told her. “We’ve got a storage room downstairs full o f things that people want to swap. My place is all lace and brocade now. They prob ably put your suitcases in the bedroom already. If not, call Lily Bliss. She’s a Sagittarius and our Excess Baggage Guru. She’s really Nadine Gorski. Promise you won’t tell her I told you.”

Yvonne promised, surveying the space. “What about my books? There are about a dozen boxes.” “We can get you some extra shelves,” Lucia offered. “I wanted to take them all, but my daugh ter persuaded me to sell some at a garage sale,” Yvonne said wistfully. “‘My library was dukedom large enough.’” “Pardon?” “Shakespeare,” Yvonne explained. “ The Tempest.” “Ah, the Bard. You might want to join our Out Damned Spot Theater Troupe, which was formed last year by a militant faction o f the Lotus Landing Environmental Laundry Committee. They advocate washing only with stones, no polluting soaps.” Yvonne felt dizzy. “Well, supper’s at six in the communal dining hall,” Lucia went on. “I think it’s tofu loaf and wheatgrass casserole tonight. I hate to dash off, but I’m late for my meditation session. Maybe you want to come along? You don’t look very centered right now.” “I’ve got a little bit o f a headache,” Yvonne said, trying not to show that it was already a whopper. “Oh, then give Kerouac Karma a ring. He’s an Aries herbalist.” Lucia started out the door. “What’s his real name?” Yvonne thought she was catching the drift now. Lucia rolled her eyes. “That’s what his par ents called him. They were Beatniks.” When Lucia left, Yvonne wandered into the cozy kitchen and was surprised to discov er that she felt almost at home. Maybe it won’t be so bad here, she mused, sitting down at the careworn, round oak table. There were certainly plenty o f lyrical curiosities worth writing about at Lotus Landing. Yvonne sus pected she could even come up with a new name for herself, perhaps Sandpiper Dickens or Chickadee May Alcott. For the moment still Yvonne Douglas, she looked up at a Beatles calendar on the wall. At the top, the Fab Four frolicked in what looked like strawberry fields, reminding her o f the poetic phrasing that made Lennon and McCartney so great: “Yesterday, all my trou bles seemed so far away. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh, I believe in yesterday...” Nobody writes lyrics like that anymore, she decided, suddenly realizing that below the happy-go-lucky Liverpool Lads the days o f December were counting down to the end o f 2022. It’s almost 2023, Yvonne thought with a sigh. Where does the time go? ®

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SEVENDAYS

Short Order Fiction:

In v e n tio n s Like everyone else in town, we've been wondering for ages about the fate of the Panda Inn building on Shelburne Road, where two co-owners were murdered in 1999. So we invited seven writers to imagine some scenarios...

A Little Cosmetic B Y C H R IS T E B B E T T S

PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN

Into the Fire BY KAREN NEW MAN For three years the tables at the Panda Inn Restaurant had been sit ting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But all that was about to change. “In D a Pan” was opening. And any lingering associations were now being eclipsed by todays spectacle: a 14-year-old sinking to new depths o f humilia tion. I was working the sidewalk along Shelburne Road dressed as a skillet. This moment was secured by the Fates when my parents became busi ness partners in The Waterfront Diner. It got taken by eminent domain, then my mom got preg nant. They got married and opened the first in a long line o f failed restaurants. The first one I can remember was Cereal City, with its ceiling-to-floor Lucite dispensers o f Fruit Loops and Cap’n Crunch, huge bowls, and alu minum milk machines. For years we ate leftover inventory for breakfast — and sometimes dinner. Then came “The Lost Sandwich,” featuring items from other local flops: the Bombay Gobbler from the original City Market, the rollup from Queen City Tavern, Noonie’s chicken salad and all the desserts from Deja Vu. But they were forced, my dad likes to say, to call it a wrap. So here I was, avoiding eye con tact with the drivers slowing down

for the light at Prospect Parkway. A rewrite o f history could portray me as the supportive child, but you’d have to leave out last nights scene: My mom had just finished glue-gun ning rubber eggs sunnyside up across my abdomen. I told her I’d rather die. But they named my price: the rest o f the money for my own guitar. Shuffling along Route 7 , 1 imag ined myself writing songs as I ignored the jerks in my homeroom. Someone beeped. I waved. Now I could sign up for a music practice room at lunch. I pictured myself safe in a soundproof cubicle with my Beatles book, away from the cafete ria — a.k.a. snobbatorium. When someone rolled down their window and yelled, “You’re hod” I decided my shift was over. Inside, I ditched the pan and my dad seated me. He was smiling as if the place were packed, when in fact there were only two other customers — an older couple having pancakes by the window. He handed me a menu. “What’ll it be?” Just then my mom appeared with the $47.40, smiling that same goofy smile as she handed it to me. The two o f them were beaming. I opened the menu, trying not to smile myself. This is what they were good at — starting over. “I’ll have # 8 ,” I said. Rise and Shine. Karen Newman writes childrens fiction an d works as an early literacy consultantfo r the Vermont Reads Institute.

For three years, the tables at the Panda Inn restaurant had been sitting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But all that was about to change. “I don’t think we should be here,” Gwen said, toeing a loose edge o f carpet in the door way. “That’s the problem,” said Mark. “No one does.” He stood in the middle o f the dining room, hands on hips. “We could definitely be serving dinners by Christmas Eve. Just needs a little cosmetic.” “Well, that and a karmic overhaul.” “What do you think I’m doing?” “You mean besides the opportunism?” He walked away from her into the glasswalled atrium, his voice louder but no less steady. “The only thing that makes what hap pened here even sadder is the way it’s been sit ting empty ever since.” “And the fact that you got it so cheap has nothing to do with it? You’re not even thinking about the money, right?” “That’s not what I’m saying. I hope I get totally rich. But I’m saying that whatever I do, wherever I do it, independent o f all that, this space is holding something that it should be

Come In, We're Prayer-Conditioned B Y CATHY R E S M E R For three years, the tables at the Panda Inn had been sitting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But ail that was about to change... In January, a Christian group opened Saving Grace Cafe, with 24-hour service and $ 1 meals delivered with Biblical reflections. July: Eighteen-year-old Becky Gasparzski hunches in a back booth, working on the next issue o f her zine, A Wretch Like Me. The spikes on her bracelet scrape the tabletop as she sur reptitiously sketches her server, Marie Lapointe. Becky sat behind Marie in Economics last year at Rice. She stared at Marie’s twisting braids and imagined how she would look with her hair falling loose around her fine, oval face. Despite the heat, Becky has ordered the Nachos and Superhot Psalm 63 Salsa. Marie shakes her head and smiles as she sets the plate on Becky’s table. “I don’t know how you can eat this tonight.” Becky shrugs. “I’m a glutton for punish ment.” “Maybe I should read to you about glut tony.” “No, no! D o Psalm 63.” Marie plucks a Bible from her apron and begins to read. Becky studies the wisps o f hair

allowed to let go of.” “ I had no idea you were such a new-age hypocrite.” Mark shrugged. “Opportunist, hypocrite. Anything else?” He picked up a gray bus tub from the floor and began clearing tables o f their red-capped glass bottles and paper chopstick envelopes. “We won’t need this stuff.” “It’s just so disrespectful.” “ D o you think so?” , Her silence answered for her. He worked a pattern among the tables, up one side o f the room and down the other. “I’m not sure it’s so respectful to pretend this place isn’t here,” he said finally. Gwen fingered the buttons on her coat. “ O K , well, maybe we should pretend I ’m not here instead.” She looked blankly o ff to the side, as if something uninteresting had caught her attention. H e knew her well enough to know she was waiting for a response and that any answer he gave at this point could be volatile. He thunked another dusty setup into the gray tub. A moment later, she was gone. Chris Tebbetts is a writer living in Burlington. H is four-part fantasy adventure series fa r children, The Viking, w ill be published by Puffin Books beginning in fun e 2003.

that have escaped her braids. “My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is.” Becky closes her eyes as if in prayer. She imagines finding Marie in a blinding sand storm, feeling Marie’s fingers tighten around her arm. She imagines brushing the sand from Marie’s face, tracing the outlines o f her eyelids. “ My mouth shall praise you with joyful lips when I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the n igh t...” Becky opens her eyes and catches Marie staring at her. Marie blinks and looks back at the book. Startled, Becky reaches for her water. It spills on her sketchpad. “Shit!” “ Oh, gosh,” says Marie, “ let me get a nap kin.” Becky wipes the book on her shirt. When Marie returns with the napkin, Becky hands her a five. “You know what? I’m not that hungry. Listen,” she says with more confidence than she feels. “W hat time are you done here?” “Eleven. Why?” “ Let’s hang out. We could go night swim ming. O r we could talk. O r whatever. I just — Marie cuts her off. “ I’ll meet you in the parking lot at 11.” She tucks her Bible back into her apron and smiles widely as she walks away. Cathy Resmer is a writer an d a frequent con tributor to Seven Days.

SEVENDAYS 1 december 18-25, 2002 I feature 27A

The Museum B Y J O H N R U B IN S ‘“ For three years the tables at the Panda Inn Restaurant had been sit ting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But all that was about to change.’ “So reads the opening o f a writ ing challenge hosted by the weekly newspaper Seven Days 140 years ago. The goal: for local writers to imagine the fate o f this place after its closing following a tragic double homicide three years earlier. Those writers couldn’t have predicted the war and crippling depression that would come shortly thereafter, and by the time Vermonters had recovered from those problems, in came the rising waters, transforming what was then Lake Champlain into the inland sea we know today. “We are so very grateful that none o f those writers’ visions came to pass (laughter in the audience). Indeed, if any o f them had, we wouldn’t be here today. “ For this space has been left undisturbed for over a century: first abandoned, then ignored, and at last inundated but left intact by the anaerobic properties o f the brackish sea water. N ot since the discovery o f portions o f Seattle buried by the Mount Rainier eruptions has there been such a pristine find o f an early 21st-century business. The micro processor discovered in the cash box, or ‘register,’ alone has contributed greatly to our understanding o f the origins o f Artificial Intelligence. N ot to mention the cooking technology in the kitchen, the paintings on silk, the exquisite staff costumes and

The Last Fortune Cookie B Y J O E C ITR O For three years the tables at the Panda Inn Restaurant had been sit ting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But all that’s about to change. A little fancy picking, and I’m inside. Quick look around. Interior’s weird, frozen in time, like those old atom-bomb movies — everything’s ready for business, but no customers come. The kitchen. Dishes stacked neat. Dishwasher open and full. String beans in a colander look like brown twisted roots. Body outlines, two o f them, chalked on the floor tiles. This is going to be easy — in and out in 15 minutes. By daybreak, it’s roast Panda. By breakfast, I’m paid and gone while my employer waits for his insurance check. Makes sense. Place won’t sell, just sucks up taxes. Couple deaths like that, people figure it’s cursed, maybe haunted. Christ, they couldn’t even hire a cleaning crew. Let’s see... fire’s gotta start in the kitchen. Frickin’ odd! Must be the light or something. That body outline — the one on the left. I thought both arms were at its side. Now one’s out stretched, pointing, like it’s moved. Jesus! Something stinks. I turn around. Bloated blue fish are decom posing in the “feng shui” aquarium, floating in a foul-smelling soup.

incandescent lanterns. But perhaps the greatest legacy will be our under standing o f the customs o f our ancestors as suggested by the arrangement o f the furniture, the very sense o f the space. It is here that we may begin to see not only how they lived, but how they may have viewed their world. “Thanks to Sevie Bahkrani for his help in providing the research and reverse-engineering that have made possible the chimera ‘Han’ waiters and the so-called ‘Whites.’ I’m not going to tell you which is which {laughter). No, really, Sev, they add a whole different dimen sion to the exhibit. “For the adventurous, I encour age you to try the dishes on the * Snack Bar menu: the Hunan Beef and H ot and Sour Soup, or the Pork Dumplings, which you can dip yourself in a menacingly dark sauce. Don’t worry, if you’re squeamish, we also carry a more standard selection o f colored pastes, pills and chips. “ But let me go no further; come experience this for yourself — our time capsule reveals a world when humankind was still divided into groups o f different ethnicities — or races, if you will — a world where commerce was conducted with scraps o f paper and metal called money, a world without Artificial Intelligence. “So, without further ado, wel come to the Museum o f Ethnic Vermont.” John Rubins is a Bristol-based writer an d editor o f the online fiction monthly Tati in’s Tower (www.tatlinstower.com).

Makes me wanna puke, but there’s work to do. I haul my tool kit, a big plastic garbage bag, into the kitchen. I extract the putrid sleeping bag I swiped from some bum and smooth it out nice and cozy in the corner by the sink. Add a couple empty booze bottles, a few handfuls o f trash from M cD onald’s and a bunch o f crum pled cigarette packs. A bum’s nest! Looks like he’s been camping here a while. Should’ve been more careful with his cigarettes... I light one up. Sprinkle alcohol on the bedbag. A few puffs, a quick flick, and I’ll do a little Chinese cooking o f my own. W hat the hell? M ust’ve been see ing double. Now there’s only one oudine on the floor.

“And that’s how you found him?” “Yes sir, just like that. Sitting there at the table.” “Looks like a squatter, Lieutenant. There’s a bedroll in the kitchen.” “Too well-dressed for a squatter. Funny thing is the food.” “ Funny?” “Yeah. He’s sitting there dead and, look, it’s like somebody served him a meal. He’s got wonton soup and a plate o f General Tsao’s Chicken in front o f him. It’s all fresh. When I got here the rice was still steaming.” Joe Citro writes scary books about Vermont.

Underwear B Y PA M ELA P O L S T O N For three years the tables at the Panda Inn had been sitting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks gathering dust. But all that was about to change. I was getting gas across the street, absently gazing at the empty restaurant and the “for sale” sign out front. Suddenly a late-model Lexus turned into the Panda’s parking lot. A striking Asian woman emerged from the pas senger side, and a very tall, blond man unfold ed himself from the driver’s seat. They entered the deserted restaurant like they owned the place. “ Hey, lady, you ’bout done?” “Sorry, yeah.” “W hat’s going on over there?” the collegeaged driver behind me asked. “ Place has been empty since those people were killed, hasn’t it?” “Yes. I guess everybody’s wondering what will happen to it.” “Why don’t you go find out — after you move your car?” Why not? I thought. I paid for my gas, then maneuvered my car across Shelburne Road and parked next to the Lexus. The tall man responded immediately to my knock. “Yes?” . “Um, I saw you here and just wondered what’s going on. I’m a reporter.” The man smiled and threw open the door. “Com e on in. Name’s Jim Ferguson. This is Lisa W u.” The beautiful Asian woman also smiled. “She wants to know what we’re doing here,” Jim told her. “We’ve just moved here from California,” Lisa said. “So, you’ve bought this building?” I asked encouragingly. “You bet,” said Jim . “ But it’s not going to be another restaurant.”

Pandemonium BY NANCY BERCAW For three years the tables at the Panda Inn Restaurant had been sitting undisturbed, the soy sauce and chopsticks collecting dust. But all that was about to change, because o f poor penmanship on the part o f a British solicitor and the sheer laziness o f an American broker. The letter was intended for the owners o f The Panda In Rest, Shelbourne Mausoleum, Birmingham, U K. Its genteel — albeit unsteady — author had meant for the missive to read, “ Dear Sirs, we would like to purchase your pickled Panda parts and place o f business to create an homage to the greatest sideshow acts o f all time. Please advise if the enclosed amount is equitable. Yours, James Brickwaithe, Esq.” After being rerouted from the Shelburne Museum, the nearly illegible envelope found its way into the hands o f an incautious debtcollector for the Panda Inn, who regarded the clumsily calligraphied contents as conveying only one relevant fact: money enclosed. He promptly stamped the property sold and sent the purchase package to London with the insouciant message: “That Panda place is yours. From Tom Hansen.” Mr. Brickwaithe’s delight turned to despair when he read the details o f the attached deed. “ Indeed,” he told his prim partners as he re surveyed the tidy sans se rif type, “we have secured a place for the elephant crinolines and rarified oddities we accumulated during the

“No? What, then?” “ Panda Intimates!” he boomed. “It’s a line o f lingerie that will benefit the International Panda Foundation,” Lisa explained. “You’ll be making underwear here?” “We’ll be manufacturing in China, but this will be our retail and mail-order outlet.” “We’re going to renovate extensively, o f course,” Jim said. “The showroom will be here — ” “The Chinese have been trying very hard for years to breed endangered pandas, but they simply don’t have enough money,” Lisa contin ued. “So an international consortium has been established to help. Vermont seems like the right place for th is... I guess you’d call it ‘dogooder’ business. I designed this high-quality women’s lingerie with tiny pandas printed on the fabric.” “ But she didn’t forget the guys — or the kids,” interrupted Jim . “Wait till you see the boxers, and the little jammies with panda feet!” “The decor o f our shop will echo a panda’s natural environment,” continued Lisa, “and over here we’ll have a pandacam.” I nodded. “And the n am e...?” “ I feel it honors the past while acknowledg ing that life must go on,” Lisa said. “ Here, and for the bears.” “Call me when you open?” I asked, hand ing her my card. “You’ll be the first to know,” said Lisa warmly. “So, what’s up?” a familiar voice called as I headed to my car. The college kid was waiting in the parking lot, his Cherokee idling. “ I was dying to find out. This used to be my favorite restaurant.” “ Panda Intimates.” “All riiighfl” he yelled before squealing away. I guess that was all he needed to know. Pamela Polston is the co-publisher/editor o f Seven Days.

20th century. But the locale we have purchased is in New England. “ He further explained that although the panda moniker was some sort o f misnomer, the very suitable structure was, according to his research, rather close to a famous folk museum in possession o f a 500-foot-long miniature circus parade, among other Big Top memorabilia. W hat’s more, he announced, “The deal included 37,546 fortune cookies.” H is associates marveled at the fortuitous ness o f their misfortune. “America is the per fect place for a hodge-podge collection o f curiosities,” yelped the seasoned Mr. Smythe. “Let us begin the preparations for moving our regalia and paraphernalia!” The scholarly Mr. Spencer pondered the predicament. “So, there is another place that will suit us just as well as the other place and our parcel managed to arrive in that other place instead o f the original place we had selected? Furthermore, it’s near a place that also is our kind o f place?” This particular group, being in the business o f profiting from genetic twists o f fate, under stood perhaps better than any other eclectic assemblage that destiny was simply a series o f accidental incidents. And being British gentle men, o f course, they prided themselves on keeping pandemonium in its proper place. Nancy Bercaw, a form er Vermonter, is a writer an d the head women’s swim coach a t Jam es M adison University in Virginia. She occa sionally still gets to write.

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here might be a better way to take the icy sting out o f a Vermont winter, but curl ing up with Daniel Hecht’s City o f Masks has to rank as a near-perfect escape from cold reality. Although the writer is one of us — living in this Northeastern clime, that is — he has crafted a novel set in STORY steamy New Orleans, where the super S U SA N natural is standard. G REEN In the Big Easy, some things are very City of Masks, by difficult. At least that’s what Lucretia Daniel Hecht. “Cree” Black discovers when she Bloomsbury, 369 accepts an assignment there. O f course, pages. $24.95. adversity is a given for this 38-year-old paranormal investigator. Her job entails struggling with unknown, potentially violent entities o f the netherworld and navigating an ordinary world full o f skeptics. For her, ridicule is an occupa tional hazard. The Seattle-based Cree is not a char latan psychic, and Hecht is far from a schlocky horrormeister. In 1989 the author left behind a career as a noted guitarist and Windham Hill recording artist to pursue the literary life. After

logically brilliant business partner, Edgar Mayfield. He’s smitten. She’s not so sure. While Edgar’s away on another case, Cree is hired by attractive Ron Beauforte to look into the haunting o f an 1851 mansion owned by a promi nent Crescent City family. He’s dubi ous about such things, but whatever’s going on has thoroughly unhinged his sister, Lila Beauforte Warren. “Most ‘ghosts’ appear to be residual, fragmentary elements o f human con sciousness — intense memories, trau mas, feelings, or just drives — that continue to manifest independently o f a living body,” Cree suggests at one juncture. “Some are more fully inte grated personalities... there’s a possibil ity that some ghosts are rare forms o f geomagnetic phenomena.” The spectral beings at the Beauforte house could date back to before the Civil War. Or perhaps they’re tied to the unsolved murder o f a tenant who was living there two years earlier. Cree

His protagonist is an empath with a Ph.D. in psychology who insists on a scientific approach to all things ethereal. two previous novels, Skull Session and The Babel Effect, he continues the high brow thriller tradition with Masks. His protagonist is an empath with a Ph.D. in psychology who insists on a scientific approach to all things ethere al. She is a fascinating creation — a fearless but fragile widow not yet ready to reconnect with love. The story throws plenty o f appealing bachelors at Cree, beginning with her techno

knows that her team — which includes a researcher named Joyce Wu — has to behave “like archaeologists delving down through the layers o f time.” To accomplish that, she brings some o f the many gizmos they have acquired to check out their theories: radar motion detectors, infrared cameras, nightvision equipment and such. But her six highly developed senses do most o f the work.

Cree tries to tease out the human dimension by interviewing the people involved. She also tends to inadvertent ly take on the accents and mannerisms o f her clients, all the better to compre hend what spirits they might be mani festing. There’s a limit, though, to her metaphysical gifts. Before leaving for the South, Cree is unable to help an elderly woman hoping to commune with a cherished dead dog. This ain’t no Crossing Over. At the Beaufortes’ place, she encounters forces more fierce and incomprehensible than any in her expe rience. Meanwhile, Lila is falling apart and her brother Ron becomes increas ingly hostile to Cree for asking too many personal questions. Their mother Charmian is a manipulative grande dame who resists revealing the skeletons in her ancestral closet. Edgar’s stuck in Massachusetts. In need o f allies, Cree swaps information with a local African-American reporter, the delightful Delisha “Deelie” Brown, who has a theory about the murder: voodoo. She has snapped pictures o f some hidden hex symbols on the fence o f the sprawling estate. Plot-wise, Hecht has his mojo working. Cree also brainstorms with Paul Fitzpatrick, the handsome psychiatrist treating poor Lila. He’s another hunk on the horizon, if only the empath can untangle herself from the sorrow o f los ing her husband. That private memory remains untapped for most o f the tale, as does Cree’s own long-ago ghost scare. Hecht maintains suspense even when pausing to explore the psyches o f his complex characters or to consider the esoteric puzzles o f the universe. And with dialogue as crisp as a Vermont December morning, City o f Masks also functions as an off-beat tourism guide to the sultry, sinister side o f New Orleans. ®

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In the Kings Room n our town, the Candlelight Christmas Eve Service is a very big deal. Around Thanksgiving they hang a banner across Main Street from Mason’s Hardware to the police station, and then you start hear ing the talk. Everywhere. People wonder ing where we’ll get the tree, how the church is going to look and what’ll be dif ferent this year. O f course, nobody knows, ’cause it’s all a secret — we’re in charge. From putting up the tree to hanging wreaths and lighting candles to the serv ice, we kids at the high school do every thing. Usually I could care less about being in church, but the Christmas Eve service is different. I love the sweet smell o f pine,

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sing, shake hands, skit, sing, bells, bells, then my part: 'Christmas Medley, a Trumpet Solo by Jake Rhinehart.” My part’s at the end, right before we walk to the field. Bryan and I had planned to hook up before the service at the usual spot: side o f the church, around the corner, behind the bushes. What we wanted was a safe place to be alone. What we got was a cobwebby corner that-was dank and dark and cold as shit. But it was hidden, and if you leaned around the corner just so, you had a good view o f the sidewalk, which sort o f made it safe. In our town you’ve got to be careful about certain things. I mean, don’t get me

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the kind o f place where guys go around hooking up with other guys. They don’t understand that here. And that’s just the way it is. Actually, it’s amazing that Bryan and I ever hooked up at all — he’s so shy! Ask any kid in my school who he is and they’ll probably say, “Bryan who?” He’s got this blond hair that hangs down onto these big brown eyes — it’s sort o f like he’s hiding back there. Most kids don’t even see him. And, boy, can he blush — just like that, in a flash. I tease him about it all the time. Anyway, I was huddled up against the wall o f the church and shivering my ass off when I peeked around the corner. It was quiet out; there wasn’t a car on the street. Just then I saw Bryan coming up the sidewalk. Finally. Moments later he poked his head around the corner and whispered, “Jake?” “You’re late,” I said. He stepped around the corner and pulled down his hood. “Yeah, I had to change. My little sister spit up on my shirt. Did you bring it?” I reached around and pulled out a magazine I’d stuffed behind my belt. Bryan smiled, “Yesss.” We scooched down the wall, sat next to each other, then propped the magazine open on our legs. Bryan twisted on a little flashlight and aimed. In the bright glare we stared: boys, beautiful boys. Page after page o f smooth-bodied, underweared and tight-muscled boys. Boys our age, who looked just like us — or mostly like us. We laughed at this macho dude in tiger

looking around corners and making out in bathroom stalls and whispering. And I hated Mike Michaelson, that chesty bas tard. How he swaggered down the halls o f our school holding hands with his cheer leader girlfriend. How they kissed each other before class — every class. Ugh! God, how I hated Mike Michaelson! I stood up, then reached down for Bryan’s hand and pulled him up, too. Then I helped him brush off the dead leaves and dirt that clung to his jacket and pants. Dam ned dirty-assed corner. Then I stopped and just looked at Bryan. “Want to hook up during the service?” “Yeah, right,” he said sarcastically. “No, really,” I said. “My part’s a. the end. Until then, I don’t even have to be there. I could say I was practicing. And you could sneak out, couldn’t you?” Bryan looked at me like I was crazy. “C ’m on,” I said. “There’s this room just off the foyer, you know the one?” Bryan shook his head. “I dunno, Jake.” Okay, so it was a little crazy — when you’re in high school you think o f shit like this. But the more we talked about it, the more convinced we became. Everybody would be in the sanctuary, we could hang out until my part. And maybe, just for a little while, we could be alone.

Then there I was, in the foyer of the Hartsfield United Methodist Church. People were everywhere, floating in through the doors, shaking off the cold, laughing or at least smiling. Somebody

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print underwear. I hate that beefcakey shit. I don’t know how long we sat there flipping pages like that, but after a while things got quiet between us. Bryan’s leg felt warm next to mine. I wondered if he was thinking what I was thinking. I was this close, this close to leaning over and kissing him, when headlights swept over us. “Shit!” We fumbled all over ourselves frantically stuffing the magazine under a cinderblock. “The light! Goddamn, get the light!” My heart was pounding like all hell and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. Just a few feet away a car sat idling. Through the bushes I could see chrome and exhaust clouding over the taillights like some kind o f devilish red smoke. Bryan and I hunkered into the corner low as we could, pulled our knees up to our chests and waited. Meanwhile, the engine stopped. We heard car doors opening, the jingle o f keys and people stepping onto the sidewalk. We heard voices, old ones and young ones, and one that I recognized: Mike Michaelson. They stood there a moment talking and then they walked down the sidewalk and into the church. I let out a deep sigh and looked at Bryan. He had his head down on his knees. I whispered, “We better wait ’til later.” He mumbled, “Yeah, I know.” I hated this. I hated that just about the time things got steamy, something always happened. I hated how we were always

shouted, “Eloise, Eloise, wait up!” There were Santa Claus ties and light-up tree pins, and the air was thick with sweet per fume. Everybody was there, from Mrs. Watts, my Honor Club coach, to Mr. G., who always wears a veteran’s hat, to Ms. Trumbull, the Mayor — they all came. Then Dr. Billy, our principal, hustled down the center aisle with a program rolled up in his hand, “All right, people,” he shouted. “It’s time.” The organ started playing and we formed a line. Then the congregation turned around in their seats to watch all o f us march into the candlelit church — all except me. I hung back and disap peared through a dark brown door. Everybody knew it as The Kings’ Room. And though I thought I’d never been in here before, it felt familiar, like I had. Even though it was dark I knew that right in front o f me was a row o f redcushioned pews, that to my right was this giant altar carved out o f dark wood, and on the far wall were these towering stained-glass windows that during the day showered bits o f colored light over the entire room. I dug in my pocket, lit a match, and slipped down the length o f a pew to the windowsill, where I began lighting can dles. As the light grew, I started seeing these inscriptions that had been set into the bottom o f every stained-glass window: In memory o f Jayson Gruber, d. October 4, 1938.

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To our departed brother, Gerald Raimer, deceased June 12, 1941. Stewart Jansen, died May 4th, 1954. Missed by all. I began to think about these guys and wonder who they were, when I happened to glance up and see this giant stainedglass King staring down at me. I just about freaked! Then I saw another and another — six Kings in all, one to a win dow, looming over me and the room. One King was sitting on a rock with a gold crown and staff. Another had long, flowing robes. One King was mysteriously holding up three fingers, and another, a giant crystal ball. I must’ve looked like some kind o f bozo gawking up at these guys, but I couldn’t take my eyes off them. They were just so big! Just then the door creaked open and I jumped — but it was only Bryan. He whispered, “Hey.” I turned back to the windows to light more candles. Something felt wrong. Just like that. A switch went off in me and I felt, I dunno, pissed and angry. Disgusted. A minute ago I couldn’t wait to get my hands on Bryan and now, for some reason, I didn’t even want to look at him. I mean I really didn’t want to look at him. I felt like if I did he’d know what I was thinking.

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Bryan sauntered across the room with his hands in his pockets. He leaned against the sill, fiddled with some holly, looked at me, and just waited. Then he blew a candle out. “Don’t do that,” I said. I lit it again. Then Bryan got this shit-eating grin on his face and, without missing a beat, he blew it out again. “G O D D A M N IT,” I yelled. “STO P IT !” Instantly my eyes shot to the door — I thought for sure we’d be caught. When I looked at Bryan, he had this look on his face — I’ll never forget it — it was like I’d betrayed him. He didn’t say a word. He just kind o f hung his head low and walked to the back pew and sat down. Suddenly I wasn’t so hot to light any more candles. After awhile I went over and sat next to him. I didn’t know what to say and Bryan stayed quiet, so we just sat there for the longest time listening to the muted sounds coming from the sanctuary. Then Bryan started digging in his pocket and pulled out this crumpled wad o f green tissue paper, the kind o f thing you might see laying on the floor after a birthday party. He laid it on my leg. “What’s this?” I asked. Open it up. I began uncrumpling it. Inside, nestled at the center, I found this little jade horse

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carved out o f stone. I held it in my hand and just stared at it. It was beautiful. “It’s for, you know, Christ mas,” he said. I was blown away. “Bryan it’s... it’s a perfect thing.” And it was. Really. So you’d think I’d do some thing nice for him, right? Like lean over and kiss him or pull a present out o f my pocket. Well, nothing like that happened. Out in the sanctuary, the bell ringers had begun. Bryan said, “You’d better go.” “Yeah, I know.” I slipped the horse in my pocket, took the trumpet out of its case, walked to the door, then hesitated. I looked back at Bryan. “See you later?” “Yeah,” he said kind o f low. I felt like I wanted to say something, only I didn’t know what it was. As I walked through the dou ble doors at the back o f the sanc tuary, the bell ringers were just wrapping up. When they fin ished, I took a deep breath and began striding down the center aisle toward the stage. Other than a few coughs, it was quiet. My trumpet solo is impor tant. It’s the part o f the service where people begin lighting their own candles, the part where they file out o f the church and down onto the field to sing hymns around a fire. The part most people say they like best.' ^ **'*. I walked up the steps to the stage, strode to the center and glanced around at all those faces staring up at me. Then I looked down at my feet, set a good stance, wet my lips, and held up the trumpet. It was dead quiet. Everybody was waiting. Then my eyes fixed on the double doors at the back o f the sanctuary and I just froze. My chest tightened — it felt like I was suffocating. I couldn’t catch my breath. Don’t think about him. Ju st play! But I couldn’t — there wasn’t any air. I brought the trumpet down, gasped for breath, stepped back and said, “Sorry.” Everybody was waiting. Once more I stepped forward, found my footing, and brought the trumpet up to my mouth. I looked out at all those people star ing up at m e... all those people. Suddenly I felt all hot-laced, teary-eyed and shaky. My chest felt like it was caving in. I closed my eyes and just stood there, tight-lipped and trembling, try ing to hold back this other thing that felt like it was going to burst out everywhere. That’s when I lost it. I dropped the trumpet to my waist and held my hand up to my brow like I was trying to shield my eyes from the light — only I wasn’t. I didn’t want any body to see me! I looked over at the organist. She had her hand up to her mouth in an “Oh, no!” kind o f way. I had to get out o f there.

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I feature 35A

who needs mistletoe? I stumbled off the stage and ran up the aisle. I didn’t look at anybody — no way! I burst through the double doors and they hit the wall with a loud crack. Behind me they swung back and forth with a whumpivhump, whump-whump as I made a beeline for the dark brown door. The Kings’ Room was dark again, candle smoke hanging in the air. I stood at the opened door wiping my eyes and whis pering loudly, “Bryan? Bryan?” only to hear nothing. I ran outside and started searching for him everywhere — side o f the church, front yard, backyard, parking lot. I ran up streets at random, calling and calling for him. Still nothing. Then I ran back to the church, hoping that I’d missed him there. Out o f breath and panting like a mad man, I stood at the back o f the sanctuary where, not 20 or 30 minutes ago* I’d waited to go onstage. Now the church was empty; all the fluorescent

I just about jumped out o f my skin. It was Bryan. “Shit, man, you scared the hell out o f me!” I said. He just stared at me. “What?” I said. “You’re crying.” “No, I’m not!” I wiped my eyes and started to laugh. “Just a little.” I looked up at him. “Where were you?” He swung his leg over the guardrail and sat next to me. He was blushing, and I mean really blushing. “What?” I said. “My, uh, my Mom’s going to her boyfriend’s tonight.” I was, like, “ ...eeyeah?” “And, I mean, I still have to watch my little sister and all, but, you want to spend the night?” I think I laughed a little. “Urn, Bryan, there’s this thing called my M om .” “Done.” “What?” “It’s arranged. I went back to my house. My Mom can be pret ty cool sometimes. She called

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I’d totally forgotten about the rest of the service, but there they were, everybody from the church. holding lit candles, huddled around a bonfire and singing “Silent Night.” Everybody was close, holding hands and stuff like that. lights were on, the Christmas lights off. Gone were the warm lights o f the candles, the tree, and a star we’d hung over the center o f the stage. It was then I knew that Bryan had gone home. I could’ve sat in the back pew and balled my eyes out, but I didn’t. My solo had been enough embarrassment for one night. Now I just wanted to go home. So I scooped up my trumpet and coat, and headed out the door to the parking lot. That’s when I heard people singing. I sat on the guardrail at the edge o f the parking lot and looked out onto the field. I’d totally forgotten about the rest o f the service, but there they were, everybody from the church, holding lit candles, huddled around a bonfire and singing “Silent Night.” Everybody was close, holding hands and stuff like that. It looked kind o f pretty. I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and just sat there watch ing them for a while. Then someone behind me said, “Hey!”

your Mom and everything.” I had to sit there a few sec onds just to let it all sink in. D id he ju st say what I think he said? “C ’mon,” he said, walking backwards away from me. “Let’s

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“Wait, wait,” I said. “ Before we go anywhere I, like, really need to apologize— ” He interrupted, “You can tell me later. C ’mon, let’s go.” “But I was a jerk— ” “Tell me later! C ’mon!” “I love the horse— ” “Later1” I looked out over the field at all those flickering lights and then back at Bryan weaving his way through parked cars. I caught up to him and we started walking — no, running like hell — out o f the parking lot and down the street toward his house. In a few minutes we were there, inside where it was warm, padding quietly up the stairs so as not to wake Bryan’s little sister. Then we stopped in front o f a closed door. He whispered, “This is my room. Come on in.” ®

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Snowed In ts snowing again. Serena stands at the kitchen sink washing the breakfast dishes and trying not to trample Brian, who is lying at her feet with his legs in her way. “Why don’t you go play in your room?” she very politely suggests. “Too lonely,” says Brian. It’s hard to be home with just a 3-yearold for company. In the winter especially, when the Fields around the house are an unbroken expanse o f white and Brian shadows her all day, whining his sing-song o f complaints, Serena can feel the walls closing in. Squeezing all the air from the room. “Why don’t you get some toys and set them up on the table? It’s all cleared off now. Get your little cars and have a race.” “Too boring.” He slips his foot inside her slacks and creeps his toes up her calf. Serena flicks him off. “Will you at least move out o f the way? You don’t want me to step on you.” Whip ping around, she waves a soapy spoon in his face. Suds dot his chest and shoulders and spatter the linoleum floor. “I said move it!” Morosely, Brian crawls out from under her and disappears down the hall. Nobody knows how close to the edge she comes, how narrowly she skirts the thin line between simply screaming at Brian and actually physically hurting him. Will, for one, has no idea. Will spends barely half an hour with Brian each morn ing before waltzing o ff to his important job running the cafeteria at the local col lege. Serena combs her fingers through her

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hair, getting it out o f her face, and turns back to the dishes. Will drives half an hour between home and work, and yet he begrudges her the measly five miles she travels to the Grand Union. “What’s wrong with the IGA here in town? You go through gasoline the way a bear goes through berries.” Will can turn a cute phrase, but when it comes to her life, he’s clueless. “It’s not as if you buy brands you can’t get in town.” He calls himself a chef, though the steam-table slop he serves could hardly be considered gourmet. “I could see the need if you were Julia Child,” he says. He doesn’t understand that the food’s not the point any more than the wide aisles or the free samples or the pleasant chit-chat with the cashiers and baggers — as much as she appreciates all those things. The point is that there are times when Serena has no choice but to strap Brian in his car seat where he can’t climb all over her and to crank up the radio so she won’t have to hear his whining. The point is . that there are days when she needs to get out and see something o f the world. Today is beginning to look like one of those days. But the driveway lies buried beneath the snow, and although Will’s snowblower is in the garage, Serena has never learned to use it. Will is the one who’s in charge o f those things. And until this morning, he’s always been home to take care o f it.

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'$ '0 4 iOO AM Last night, Will called just as she was beginning to prepare dinner, saying some thing about a holiday party. It was the end o f the semester and his student workers were throwing a big bash. How could he say no? He promised not to stay out too late. Putting the phone down a little hard er than shed intended, Serena shoved the uncooked pork chops back in the refriger ator and spooned herself a bowl o f Brians canned ravioli.

a second bedtime story or call her back for one last good-night kiss. As his stifled whimpers followed her down the hall she raged at Will for making her so mean. But when 11 o’clock came and Will was still out, Serenas thoughts turned to the long, icy road with its sharp curves and menacing trees crowding the shoulder. Pushing aside the heavy drape, she pressed her worried face to the glass. The pane was so cold it burned her skin. A pair o f

Nobody knows how close to the edge she comes, how narrowly she skirts the thin line between simply screaming at Brian and actually physically hurting him. “Why are you eating with me?” “Because I can’t eat with Daddy.” “Why can’t you?” “Why do you think? You don’t see him in this house, do you?” At bath time — Will’s job — Serena scrubbed Brian extra hard, washing his hair and going two and three times over his ears and his neck, places his father never remembered. Zipping him into two layers o f pajamas, she tucked in his sheets as tight as a straitjacket and raced through his book at record speed. He didn’t ask for

headlights dimly lit the road, sped past disappointingly, and disappeared in a dull red glow. Serena dropped the curtain and went to check on Brian. The phone woke her just after mid night. She’d fallen asleep stretched out beside Brian. Staggering down the toobright hall, her brain skipped ahead to the question o f where Will kept the insurance

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papers and whether the one black dress in her closet still fit. But it was Will himself on the phone, alive and loquacious, with rap music raging in the background. He blathered disjointedly about having two or three too many and the snow coming down like a motherfucker. “What it comes down to,” he bellowed, “is crash here or crash the car! Friends don’t let friends drive and drunk. I mean, drunk drive. See you tomorrow.” When she hung up the phone, the house felt way too quiet. Unsure and selfconscious, she locked the back door, set the heat down and turned out the lights, numbly stumbling through W ills nightly chores. It felt strange to be on her own. Lying in their bed without Will’s warm back bolstering hers, Serena wasn’t even sure o f how to position her own limbs.

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tongue o f the thermometer holds at an even 20. The sky has a hard, solid look, gray as flatware, with a few scrappy snowflakes spinning like ashes from a smokestack. Her first hope this morning was that Will would ride over and take care o f the driveway for her. She imagined him staying for coffee and a change o f clothes — maybe even a quick shower. She pictured Brian waiting outside the bathroom door, miraculously patient, while she slipped in and surprised Will with a lathery hug. It was an idiotic day dream, and she compounded her idiocy by calling Will at work and voicing her disappointment. “Are you insane?” he’d shrieked. “For G od’s sake, Serena. What do you expect from me? If you’re so incompetent you

bite. The wind stings Serena’s ears and creeps under her collar. The whole world seems drained o f details, reduced to a uni form blankness. The snow comes as high as Serena’s knees and swamps Brian clear to the waist. “It’s cold, Mommy.” “Then go inside.” “I don’t want to.” “Then stop complaining.” Brian takes one step, then raises his arms, his eyes wide with panic. “But the snow’s too high!” “Then I’ll carry you, all right? Will that make you happy? Is that what you want? For me to carry you like a tiny little baby who’s too small to even walk yet?” Before he can answer, she brutally snatches the scruff o f Brian’s snowsuit and juggles his ungainly parts into her arms. His rigid little body makes a surprisingly effective windbreak. Impulsively, she kisses his bulky hood. Then, pulling him close enough to muffle his complaints, she car ries him down the hill. Cold penetrates her jeans. Snow flies in her eyes, carried on the icy wind. The going is slow. By the time they reach the road Serena’s knees are stiff, her arms exhausted. And the mailbox is still empty. But she thinks she hears the purr o f a truck. Shifting Brian to one hip, she struggles up the snow bank, peers down the road — and there, sure enough, is the miracle o f Glenn’s plow, an hour early.

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She has to remind herself that it is, after all, just her leg that he’s touching and not some more intimate part of her body. can’t even run a fucking snowblower, call your friend Glenn! I’m sure he’d be glad to help you!” But when she calls Glenn, the guy at the Getty station says it will be at least an hour before they can get to her with the plow. Desperate to do something — anything — Serena grabs her coat. Brian is sprawled on the floor in his room surrounded by a herd o f tiny horses. He mouth-breathes and mumbles, content and absorbed. It seems a crime to disturb such a rare moment. Serena calls out anyway, “I’ll be back in a second. You can just go on play• » mg. But Brian is already on his feet and coming towards her, his horses scattered and forgotten. “Where are you going?” “Just down the hill to check the mail.” “I want to go with you!” “No, no. You stay here.” Calmly and deliberately, she unpeels his fingers from her hem. “You’ll be fine. Just keep play ing-” “But I don’t want to keep playing! I want to go with you!” Brian screams, tug ging at her coat. “All right, already! I f you want it so badly, I’ll take you with me! Whatever you say! You’re the boss! You’re the prince! I’m just your little slave!” The air outside has a sharp, metallic

stringing me along and run away with me?” Glenn is long married and nearly twice her age. But he’s plenty good-look ing, and once, when he reached for her credit card and their fingers accidentally brushed, she felt herself blushing. The truck pulls over and Glenn pushes the passenger door open. Smiling crooked ly, he lets his pale eyes play over her. Serena doubts she’s ever felt so glad to see anyone. “Hey, Sunshine. You’re not waiting for me? “Just killing time.” “Hop in and we’ll kill it together. Ride along while I do your drive. Be a big thrill for the boy.” With gentlemanly grandeur, Glenn sweeps the seat clean, sending an ava lanche o f smudged invoices, ripped road maps and stained take-out-drink lids tum bling to the wet, metal floor. Serena gladly hands Brian over and eagerly scrambles up after him. “There now,” he says. “Just like home.” It’s hot inside the cab and the air is ripe with the smells o f diesel fuel and old sweat. A faded Playboy air freshener dan gles ineffectively below the rear-view mir ror. The radio is playing “I Saw M ommy Kissing Santa Claus.” “So you got snowed in and had to call on old Glenn. Who usually does your drive?”

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GiftCertificates PartyReservations CallToday! “Will. But he wasn’t home this morning.” Glenn shakes his head. “No offense to your husband, but what kind o f nut would leave you alone? Oh, well. At least you can count on old Glenn. We’ll get you fixed up in no time.” And, reaching across Brians swaddled lap, he pats her knee reassuringly. He has big hands, with long, strong fingers. The unexpected contact goes right through her. She has to remind herself that it is, after all, just her leg that he’s touching and not some more intimate part o f her body. Suddenly embarrassed, she looks away and sees her own house perched above them. From this perspec tive it looks precarious and insubstantial, as if one strong wind might send it spin ning into space. The thought is strangely exhilarating, as if Serena herself were about to embark on a surprising journey to someplace wonderful.

quick half-twist o f a smile. “Having fun?” Serena nods. “Stick with me, kid.” Back and forth they jerk and lunge until at last they reach the top o f the hill and the plow’s hard lip scrapes asphalt. Glenn shoves the transmission into neu tral, yanks on the handbrake and kills the ignition. The engine shudders and dies. Serena frowns, sorry to see her day’s one adventure already over. But Brian cheers and claps. Glenn laughs. “That’s one satisfied cus tomer, at least.” “Two,” Serena corrects him. “What do I owe you? I’ll just run in for my wallet.” Glenn shrugs uncomfortably as he names the amount. Then he adds, some what shyly, “Mind if I step inside, too? Stretch the legs. Getting too old to spend so much time behind the wheel.”

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She can hear Brian clacking his toy Glenn turns in at the snow-blocked drive and lurches to a stop. Serena tight ens her grip on Brian, using her free hand to brace herself against the dashboard. “All set?” he asks. The plow blade clanks down and Glenn shifts into gear. The truck presses into the packed snow bank with a low, laborious groan. The wall gives way gradually, slowly rolling over. Then it sud denly breaks down, tumbling and dou bling over itself like surf. Leaving the pile at the edge o f the field, Glenn jerks the truck back, tossing Serena and Brian for ward. Then, with a quick turn o f the wheel, he abruptly lunges forward again, slamming them against the seat. Brian shrieks, wild-eyed and grinning, and Serena instinctively grunts. It’s like slam dancing — something she loved in the days before Will. Glenn shoots her a

trucks together, clearing pretend snow off his carpet. Revved up from his ride in Glenn’s plow, he ran off right away, break ing the rule about leaving his boots by the door. No doubt he’s dripping real snow on everything. But Serena, bending over the kitchen table to write out Glenn’s check, is so distracted she can hardly form proper numbers. The smell o f him behind her, both inti mate and foreign, fills the room with exot ic possibility. When Will comes home tonight she supposes he’ll smell like a stu dent apartment. Beer and incense, with cat hairs from whatever half-collapsed couch he ended up on. If he did end up

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on a couch, and not in some drunk stu dents bed. Serena tries to push the thought away. But how can she, with Glenn right behind her? “Should have known a lovely lady like you would have a nice place like this.” Her hand jumps, spoiling the signa ture. Is he giving her a line or just making small talk? She’s afraid to look at him. She can still feel the place where his hand touched her knee. She imagines him touching her again, those fingers finding other parts o f her. Is this how it happens? Five years o f marriage have made her for get how to act with a man. “Change your mind about paying me?” Glenn has moved in so close his breath stirs the hairs on the back o f her neck. She moved to the country because Will needed “breathing space.” Quit her good job at the ice cream plant because Will doesn’t believe in day-care centers. Cut her hair at his suggestion, even switched brands o f skin lotion because the type she prefers reminded him o f some long-ago girlfriend. And for what? She’s sweating like a 13-year-old. But Glenn is perfectly calm. “N ot satisfied after all?” he teases. His voice is smooth and persuasive, without a glimmer o f shame or a hint o f derision. And he con siders her lovely. The front o f his parka is brushing her back. Is she reading him right? She leans against him, just a bit. He doesn’t budge. Taking a deep breath, she turns to face him. He’s given her this same intimate look dozens o f times through the car window or across the counter. But this time, only a few charged inches separate them. “Well?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Acting quickly, before she loses her nerve, she leans into the last remaining space and kisses his kindly mouth. The move throws him off-balance, and she has to grab the slippery fabric o f his sleeves to keep contact. She can feel his lips hesitating. Pressing more gently, she

on! You’re dripping snow on the floor!” They both begin to cry, but Brian out does her. His mouth falls open, a string o f silver saliva stretching between his lips for a moment before the drool spills over and pools in the fold o f his chin. Serena swipes at the spit with the back o f her hand and wipes it on his snowsuit. His noise is god awful. She wants to hurl him through a window. She grips his tiny arms and shakes. “Stop making all that noise!” Brian howls louder. “Didn’t you hear what I said? Don’t you speak English? Are you a moron or what? Don’t you know anything? Go take your boots off!” She shakes him until his head flops and wobbles. She shoves the disgusting sight o f him away, and, easy as an egg rolling o ff a counter, Brian tumbles backwards. His arms fly out. His eyes snap open. His head jerks back and cracks on the edge o f his truck. There’s more than a little blood. It stains Serena’s coat as she cautiously cra dles him. It’s hard to breathe normally. Blood is one more thing she’s always left up to Will. “You poor thing,” she whispers, carry ing him to the sink. “You poor, poor thing,” she soothes, hugging and rocking him. Through the window, she sees Glenn’s truck driving away.

"Here, sweet thing. Here, good thing. Would you like to build a high way?” Serena empties the dominoes on the living room floor and shows Brian how to match the dots and connect the wooden pieces. “G ood job, hon! Good building! What a good, good boy you are!” Serena hauls out puzzles. More blocks. An entire plastic barnyard, silo and all. And when they’ve gone through every one o f them, she reads him book after book. She gives him free choice o f lunch menus and lets him eat on the sofa. And when the last

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coaxes her tongue between his lips to find his teeth. The inside o f his mouth tastes like cherry cough drops. A door has been flung wide open and she’s crossing the threshold. His tongue is strangely rough. But just as she touches it, he shoves her away, jumping back as if he’s been scalded. “Whoa, girl, easy does it,” he stam mers, throwing his hands up in surrender. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. Glenn’s a married man. N ot in your league. Square. Straight arrow. I would if I could, but honey, I can’t. No offense, O K ?” Scar let to his temples, he shrinks towards the door, anxiously groping for the knob. Serena’s blushing, too, her heart beating like crazy. She feels like the world’s biggest moron. Now she won’t even be able to go to the gas station. And what about his check? Turning in confusion, she smacks her shin on Brian’s truck. “I’m hot, Mommy.” As she whirls at the sound, Glenn slips out the door and she’s alone with Brian once again.

“O f course you’re hot! You’re still wear ing your snowsuit! You have your boots

drop o f ketchup has been smeared on the last Oreo, she lets him fall asleep with his head in her lap. His chest rattles wetly each time he exhales, and his Band-Aid has a strong, disturbing smell. But how nice it is to sit peacefully together with the sun stretching blue shadows on the snow. Her driveway cuts a fresh sweep to the road, and Brian’s little head is warm and soft. When he wakes up they’ll take the car to the mall and mingle with the holiday shoppers. She’ll buy him a nice toy. A plastic man with moving legs, maybe, or a construction worker’s hat just his size. They’ll go to the food court and eat sticky buns. They’ll visit Santa, and this year Brian won’t be afraid to sit on his lap. On the way home they’ll stop at the Grand Union and buy something special. Those fresh, fat shrimp Will loves so much, and a packet o f Cajun seasoning. When Will comes home, she’ll tell him Brian slipped on his own melted puddle. Brian will tell his daddy about the ride in Glenn’s plow. But he won’t say who he saw M om my kissing. And she won’t ask how

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Will spent the night. And then, when Brian is safe ly tucked in bed and the dishes are done, she’ll put on some sul try music and snuggle up with Will on the sofa. First she’ll talk about his long commute and the unreliability o f the weather. Then she’ll tell him how much she misses her job, and how Brian will love the teachers and the kids at the preschool in town. Guilt and remorse will have softened Will’s resolve, and if she just coaxes slowly, pressing her point very gently, he’ll have no choice but to concede. His resistance will break down like snow under a plow, clearing the way for her family to walk, three abreast, to a place much better than this. The sun slips away. More snow falls. Brian sleeps on and on. He sleeps away the hours when she would have driven to the mall and he sleeps into the time to start supper. Carefully easing her lap out from under him, she creeps to the kitchen and peers into the fridge. H alf a head o f iceberg lettuce, a bottle o f seltzer and those pork chops she planned for last night. She’s just pulling the meat out when the phone rings. “I’m really sorry, hon,” Will says, “but it looks like another late one. Got tied up with some stuff I can’t get out of.” “Why can’t you?” Serena asks, twisting the phone cord around her Finger. “Because I just can’t. All right?” “But when will you be home?” “I’ll be home when I get home. I can’t tell for sure. You think I like working all these hours? God. I’m dog-tired.” “But what am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know, Serena. Jesus Christ. You’re not a 3-year-old!. Do what you always do. You’ll be fine.” Serena hangs up the phone. Outside the window, her drive way is gone again, lost with the last o f the light. And, now that it’s too late to go anywhere at all, Brian is finally awake. She can hear the wooden clatter o f the dominoes in his path as he comes to stand close beside her. ©

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CALL TO ARTISTS

The Flynndog is seeking "mail art" for an exhibit entitled "Cancelled." Works must be artist-designed and bearing a postal-system cancellation stamp from its place of origin. Deadline: January 29. Send to Flynndog, 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. 05401 with SASE and $5 submission fee. Info, flynndog@ together.net.

OPENINGS

ARTISANS' SHOWCASE: 19 local artists in many media show and sell their works for the holidays. Shullenberger Gallery, Jericho, 899-4993. December 21-22, noon - 5 p.m.

For art workshops and instruction, see "classes" in Section B.

ONGOING ::b.urlington area RAIM0ND DEL N0CE SENIOR: watercolors, and KIM SENIOR: folding screens. Phoenix Gallery, Burlington, 863-9400. Through December 28.

LARS FISK: sculptures in the round inaugurate the newly renovated arts center. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 865-7166. Through January 26.

MICHAEL BROWN: "Lines and Theo rem," paintings. Club Metronome, Burlington, 865-4563. Through December.

MARILYN MADDIS0N: "First Exposure,"

B reakin g the R ules

i E X H IB fT

Nicholas Hecht, paint ings and sculptures. Vermont Supreme Court Lobby, Montpelier. Through January 10. ARTW O RK "The Center of the Earth," by Nicholas Hecht PHOTO

Marc Awodey

n his 1912 article, “On the Problem o f Form,” avant-gardist Wassily Kandinsky wrote that form in art is simply “the outer expression o f inner content.” But the inner content Kandinsky was referring to had noth ing to do with bones and muscles. He was referring to spiritual content and the summation o f experiences that we all carry. His conclusion was that “form arises from necessity” and that the artists inner content is no less important than the subjects in deter mining artistic form. Nicholas Hecht seems to have taken Kandinsky’s teachings to heart. He has installed an impressive collec tion o f paintings and sculptures at the Vermont Supreme Court building in Montpelier, and each o f the works appears to be the result o f a search for inner form. The 20 acrylic paintings and seven papicr-mAchS sculptures on display have their own inner logic. “The Center o f the £arth” is Hecht’s most overtly Kandinsky-esque painting — its composition and use o f color are very much like the latter’s “Composition IV” from 1911. Hecht s black lines contain pockets o f color as they radiate from a white-on-white foundation. Also like Kandinsky, Hecht: uses dots as punctuation marks, which provide resting areas for the eye by impeding linear movement. But Hecht is more grounded than Kandinsky would have been with a

similar subject. There is an “up” and a “down,” as well as greater narrative content in this and his other paint ings. Hecht’s “On a Hillside Looking Down at the Action Below” can be read as a figurative piece, considering the ocher geometric shapes in the lower third o f the painting look like boots. Likewise, the semicircular gray shapes in the upper third seem like arms. A pair o f 6-by-4-foot works entitled “Details in the Night Sky Looking Down at a Pyralisk” and “Out Over Water, A River o f Dreams” both have strong figure-ground relationships and geometric figurative forms on low horizons, giving them a spirit o f monumentality. The two canvasses are hung side by side, highlighting their compositional similarities, bur they do not comprise a diptych. Both have a strong semicircle at lower left and a limited range o f hues — .browns, greens and blues dominate each scene. They also have a line o f checkerboard patterning on the edges. Hecht has researched the physiology o f seeing and determined that checkerboard patterns “open the eye to color,” he says. “We Were Sitting on the Deck o f a Boat Traveling up the River o f Dreams” is a less geometric piece with much clearer figurative abstraction. It has a range o f flesh tones, from dark

photographs. Speeder & Earl's, Pine St., Burlington, 860-9502. Through January 5.

brown to light pink, and its shapes are organized into a central abstract figure in an open space, akin to the work o f Francis Bacon. Hecht’s sculptures look like genetic experiments — hybrids gone awry. “Three Friends Standing Together” is a trio of thin creatures with human heads and strange bodies. One is a quadruped, one has a birdlike body, and the other has tall ears and a high waistline. The figure entided "Transfiguration ; and Ascension” seems to have been frozen in mid-metamorphosis. Based on Hindu sculpture, a deer-like body is at the lowest level, but it has breasts, arms and a large human head, A smal ler spiritual entity, surrounded by a fiery halo, arises from the top o f the head of the deer-human form. These sculptures would be more effective if they were on pedestals, or at least had more space around them. Because of the demands o f the room, the figures are sited in corners and don't have quite enough “breathing room/' j Hecht is a post-dogmatic artist, but j nevertheless has a firm foundation in ~ f history. He wisely seeks his own wav in determining artistic form. The answers expounded on by earlier gen erations o f artists remain relevant, but j should not be seen as the gospel truth. I After all, as Kandinsky noted, 'form arises from necessity/’ not dictates. ® !

CAROLYN WALTON, SKYE FOREST 8t TRACY VARTENIGIAN BURHANS: a holiday show featuring paintings in oil and pastel. Luxton-Jones Gallery, 5955 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne, 985-8223. Through January.

VERNISSAGE 2 0 0 3 : The annual show features painting, sculpture, photogra phy and drawings by a group of local and national artists. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through January.

KIT DONNELLY: "Unfolding," acrylic paintings on canvas and watercolors on paper. Church & Maple Gallery, Burlington, 863-3880. Through December 28.

TIMOTHY GRANNIS: new works in sculpture and jewelry by the gold smith. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through December.

LYNN IMPERATORE: "Seasoned Greetings," surreal paintings and draw ings inspired by dreams and life expe riences. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652 -4500. Through •January 4. W IN T E R M E D L E Y 2002: a group of 15 area artists join in an end-of-year show, i-'urchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through January

15.

O N G O IN G »

44A

PLEASE NOTE: Art. listings and spot lights are written by

Pamela Polston.

Listings are restricted to exhibits in truly public places; exceptions may be made at the discretion of the editor. Send listings, including info phone number, to galleries(a»sevendaysvt.com.

Also see

art. listings at www.sevendaysvt.com.

44A | december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

< e x h ib it io n s > O N G O IN G « 4 3 A RANDY ALLEN, JANET VAN FLEET, JENEANE LUNN & KALA CAPLANHAGOPIAN: "By Boat, By Rail, By

century folk art collector, designed by architect Adam Kalkin and decorated by Albert Hadley. Shelburne Museum,

Bike," oil paintings. Artpath Gallery,

985-3348. Through October 2003.

Burlington, 563-2273. Through January 10.

::cham plain valley

GREG SCAFF, DONNA CONSTANTINEAU & ART BLUE: "Alchemy," works in

GLIMPSE OF CHRISTMAS PAST: 19thcentury-inspired holiday decorations,

mixed media, Fletcher Room, through January 2; and

exhibits and festivities focus on the spirit of giving. Also, an exhibit of

SOPHIE BACKUS: "A

Touch of the Unique," paintings. Pickering Room, through December 30;

antique trains and railroad equipment, and a festival of miniature trees. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury,

HERB LEFF: kinetic reflective sculp tures, Main Reading Room, ongoing;

388-2118. Through December.

and JAKE RIFKIN: wire sculptures, Reading Room, ongoing. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211.

JULES POLK & JAN FEAD: pottery and paintings, respectively. Art On Main, Bristol, 453-4032. Through December.

NELLY BONFIGLI: pastels and collages.

WORK FIRST, THEN PLAY: an exhibit

Picolo Cafe, Burlington, 862-5515.

about leisure life in 19th-century

Through December.

Vermont, featuring art, documents and

ROBYN PEIRCE: mixed-media works. Also, ROBERT WALDO BRUNELLE, JR.: "Burning the Midnight Oil" and

artifacts from the permanent collec tion. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March.

other paintings. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 899-1106. Through December. CAROL HINRICHSEN: "Round-trip

::central NICHOLAS HECHT: paintings and sculptures. Supreme Court Lobby,

(Rediscovering Home)," paintings,

Montpelier, 272-0200. Through January

prints and an installation that observe domestic space. Also, MARIE LAPRE

10. MICHAEL T. JERMYN: black-and-white

GRABON: "Re-Connections," fetish

and color landscape, still-life and por

dolls for the 21st century. Flynndog,

trait photography. La Brioche Cafe,

Burlington, 652-2583. Through January 12.

Montpelier, 229-0443. Through December.

ROBB FARRINGTON: color photographs

TAKE IT HOME: 3RD ANNUAL MEM BERS' SHOW: More than 50 artists

and illuminations. The Waiting Room, Burlington, 734-4254, ongoing; also,

display works for holiday giving.

color prints, Healthy Living Market, South Burlington, through December.

Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Through January 11.

A.D. LABERGE: new photographs.

MEMBERS' SHOW: Art, crafts, fun and

Bruegger's Bagels, Burlington, 860-

frolic accompany the opening of Green

1995. Through January.

PLANE AND SIMPLE

Mountain Medicinals. Blinking Light

WINTER WONDER: a group exhibit of

Lincoln artist Kit Donnelly has been exploring the properties

of light in her paintings for years. Her latest works, in an exhibit titled "Unfolding" currently at Church & Maple Gallery in Burlington, seem to play with light both on and beneath bold geometric shapes of color. With no traditional figure-ground relationship, the planes of Donnelly's glossy acrylics or subtler watercolors seem to have a life of their own, like something observed under a microscope.

Gallery, Plainfield, 454-0141. Through December.

new and juried member artisans in multiple media. Frog Hollow,

DORIS FLORIG: new works in fiber. City

Burlington, 388-4074. Through December.

Hall, Montpelier, 229-916. Through December.

LISA M. DIVOLL-PAINTER: "Equine

SEASONS: Nine artists — Alexandra

Images," works in acrylic. The Horse Works, Williston, 879-8935. Through March.

Bottinelli, Cheryl Betz, Jason Conroy, Maggie Neale, Elisabeth Nelson, Cully Renwick, Kathy Stark, Janet Van Fleet and Ann Young — have met monthly for years to share their works in

THE COLLECTOR'S HOUSE: a new build ing envisioning the home of a 21st-

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SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I art 45A

TIS THE SEASON

For thfi second year in a row, th e ...

Vermont Fine Art Gallery in Stowe is doing the right thing: raising money through the sale of artworks to benefit art students attending state colleges. More than a dozen area artists contributed works to this special holiday exhibit and sale. Pictured: a winter scene in oil by Carolyn Walton. More of Walton's oils and pastels — along with those of Skye Forest and Tracy Vartenigian — are also on display at Luxton-Jones Gallery in Shelburne.

Center, W. Rutland, 438-2097. Through December 29.

Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through January 4.

200 2 HOLIDAY SHOW: paintings by Ruth Fuller White, gingerbread contest/exhibit, and artworks by area stu dents. Chaffee Art Center, Rutland, 775-0356. Through January 5.

-s o u th e rn PETER MAX: The legendary artist opens a new gallery featuring his work in multiple mediums, from watercolors to

NICOLE D'AGAIA: "Studio Sunflowers,"

computer graphics. The Art of Peter

paintings. Spotlight Gallery, Vermont

Max — Colors of a Better World,

Arts Council, Montpelier, 279-4371.

Manchester Village, 362-0779. Ongoing.

Through December 23.

KENNETH P. OCHAB: landscape oil

WILLIAM B. HOYT: Photo-realistic still

paintings, and works by other Vermont artists. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing.

^northern

life, figurative and landscape paint ings. Vermont Arts and Lifestyles Gallery, Woodstock, 436-2565. Through January 7.

STEPHEN M. SCHAUB: photographs; and

RIVA SAZAMA: mixed-media; BFA thesis exhibition. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-

works by other photographers. Indian Hill Gallery of Fine Photography, Pawlet, 325-2274. Ongoing.

1310. Through December 20.

EXCEPTIONAL WORKS FROM THE PER MANENT COLLECTION, Elizabeth de

2ND ANNUAL HOLIDAY BENEFIT SHOW: Sales of artworks in multiple media by 13 Vermont artists will con tribute to scholarships for Vermont

C. Wilson Museum. Southern Vermont Art Center, Manchester, 362-1405. Through December 30.

State College art students. Vermont

;:r e g io n a l

Fine Art Gallery, Stowe, 253-9653. Through December.

NIKE DAVIES-OKUNDAYE: textiles by

ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE: The 22nd progress. Their first exhibit together features multiple media in response to the theme. City Center, Montpelier, 563-2486. Through January 6.

ARTS RESOURCE ASSOCIATION: Member

LEE LEONARD: oil paintings, and JOANNE VECCHIOLA: ceramics. Rhapsody, Montpelier, 426-4077. Through December.

CAROLYN WALTON: landscape paintings.

HOLIDAY GIFT BAZAAR: affordable fine arts and crafts in multiple media by 18 area artists. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 728-3232. Through December 22.

Annual Festival of Trees, featuring Christmas trees decorated by commu nity members; a Members' Art Exhibit featuring works by 72 artists; the

patronage of Cardinal Richelieu and his circle, in the period 1630s and 1640s. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514285-2000. Through January 5.

Bldg., Montpelier, 828-5657. Through

paintings, sculptures, blown glass

late Gladys Flershey Cheyne Paul; and

Montpelier, 828-8743. Through December 20.

January 15.

ornaments, jewelry and more by area artists. Carving Studio & Sculpture

the Vermont Symphony Orchestra's

G E T T IN G AW AY

RICHELIEU: an exhibit examining the

and other stenciled objects by the

Governor's Reception Room, Pavilion

TIME

College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2426. Through January 19.

Normandeau Collection of toleware

artists hold their annual show in multi ple media. T.W. Wood Gallery,

HOLIDAY SHOW: "Adornment," featuring

the internationally recognized Nigerian ' artist. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth

handpainted violins. Helen Day Art

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FILM C L IP S

:: S H O W T I M E S

:: F I L M

R E V IE W

<film >

:: F I L M Q U I Z

:: F L I C K C H I C K

film review

< film c lip s >

PREVIEWS LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOW ERS Elijah Wood and Sean Astin are

C atch M e If You C an ★ ★ ★ !/;

reteamed for the sequel to Peter Jackson's megahit. This time around, the two join forces to combat the evil doings of the nefarious Lord Sauron. Ian McKellen costars. (PG-13)

GANGS OF NEW YORK Leonardo

T O P F L IG H T

DiCaprio flies some very friendly skies as a con kid in Spielberg's fun, free-wheeling new film.

n this fact-based account o f con man Frank Abagnale jr.’s escapades during the 1960s, Leonardo DiCaprio plays ; teenager who passes millions o f dollar in forged checks while successfully impersonating a Pan Am pilot, a lawy and a physician. It’s a first-rate perforr ance and a fun, freewheeling story. Ev more fascinating, though, is the sight Steven Spielberg doing a convincing impression o f Steven Soderbergh. From its adrenalized editing and hip period score to the picture’s cele bration o f the good-natured caper, Catch Me I f You Can is so suggestive the Oceans Eleven director’s style and sensibility that, every time a door opened, I half expected George Clooney to walk through. Clooney doesn’t come through an but Tom Hanks breaks down a few i the role o f the indefatigable FBI agei who catches on to DiCaprio’s paper hanging exploits and pursues him throughout the U.S. and abroad ove period o f years. At its heart, this is a story about how fathers figure in the lives o f son It’s about the significance o f father fi ures, too. DiCaprio’s character come: by his talent for deception honestly. He worships the ground his old man (Christopher Walken) — a colorful con artist in his own right — walks on, even after the IRS catches up to him, his wife leaves and his sanity slips away. A Walken character with a screw or two loose is nothing new, o f course, but here his performance is distin guished by a poignancy and depth that surpass anything he’s done previ ously. It’s nice to see. The kid’s motivation for embarking on a life o f crime, in fact, is a sense that he owes it to his father to “get it all back.” He labors under the delu sion that if he flimflams his way to a fortune, he’ll somehow be able to put his family back together. If he fails in that regard, he’s wildly successful in just about every other. The film does a delicious job o f depicting the DiCaprio character’s evolution from penniless runaway to one o f the most accomplished con artists in history. That said, it’s a tad more generous with detail in the early innings than it is later in the game. While the audience is allowed to observe, step by step, the process through which DiCaprio figures out how to forge convincing Pan Am pay roll checks, we’re left in the dark when it comes to how he pulls off more elaborate ploys during the second and

DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis face off in Martin Scorsese's epic chronicling the clash between the city's Irish and Italian populations during the mid1800s. With Cameron Diaz. (R)

THE WILD THORNBERRYS MOVIE The nature-loving TV family makes the trek to the big screen with this animated adventure pitting the Thornberrys against ruthless poachers who inter rupt their African safari. Featuring the voices of Brenda Blethyn, Jodi Carlisle and Lacey Chabert. (G)

TWO WEEKS NOTICE Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock star in the latest from director Marc Lawrence, a romantic comedy about a cuddly corporate mag nate who doesn't realize how deeply he cares for his sexy second-in-com mand until he's about to lose her. With Alicia Witt. (PG-13)

SH O RTS ANALYZE T H A I*-*-1* Harold Ramis helms this sequel to his 1999 hit. This time around, it's Billy Crystal who needs a shrink and recently released ex-con Robert De Niro who strongarms him into getting help. Lisa Kudrow costars. (R)

BOWLING FOR COLUMBINEAAAA In his latest documentary, Roger & Me director Michael Moore chats it up with a series of colorful and gun-lov ing characters in his exploration of America's penchant for violence and firearms. (R)

DIE ANOTHER DAYA Pierce Brosnan stars in the 20th film in the James

third acts. The signature sequence, for mouse. I mentioned father figures example, in which he escapes detec because that’s essentially what the FBI tion by agents and police at an airport man becomes in the eyes o f DiCaprio’s by surrounding himself with an character over time. As Walken fades entourage o f eye-catching young stew away, Hanks and the way o f life he ardesses is amusing, but it begs a num represents come into ever-clearer emo ber o f questions. tional focus. The final twist the rela Spielberg shows a uniformed tionship takes is a great and gratifying Leonardo addressing a high school surprise. auditorium filled with eager girls and This isn’t the Spielberg o f Schind offering a dozen or so the opportunity ler’s List or Amistad, clearly. This isn’t to take part in a recruitment promo even the Spielberg o f Jurassic Park. tion that will require them to spend The director’s latest reveals an entirely time overseas. A moment later he’s new dimension o f adult playfulness, gliding through the terminal camou and his sense o f fun and good humor flaged by them, though no explana are contagious. We aren’t talking Oscar tion has been given as to where he here. We’re talking truly fine perform found uniforms to fit the group, or ances and an unexpectedly hep John why the school would have excused Williams score. We are talking a story students from class without confirm that rollicks with the most rollicking. ing the legitimacy o f the arrangement Not great cinema, just a great time at with Pan Am. Never mind why par the movies — well worth catching if ents permitted their daughters to leave you can. ® school and jet to Europe without any proof o f the scheme’s legitimacy. (Ed. note: This film is opening in the The storyline compensates for these next couple o f weeks, but we’re giving minor missteps, however. It deals with you a preview because there will be no the relationship that develops between film review in next week’s paper. Instead, Hanks and DiCaprio over the years as look fo r Rick Kisonak’s round-up o f the they play intercontinental cat-and10 Best and 10 Worstfilm s o f200 2 .)

Bond series, a regulation affair that pits 007 against a mad military leader who's developed a doomsday device in his secret underground lair. Toby Stephens and Halle Berry costar. Lee Tamahori directs. (PG-13)

DRUM LINEAAA Charles Stone directs this teenathon set against the back drop of the high-energy, high-stakes world of show-style marching bands. Nick Cannon plays a talented Harlem street drummer who tries to fit in at a Southern university. Orlando Jones and Zoe Saldana costar. (PG-13)

8 M ILEAA Eminem makes the hop to the big screen with the hip saga of a talented Detroit youth determined to rap his way out of his humble origins, hekhi Phifer and Kim Basinger costar. Curtis Hanson directs. (R)

THE EMPEROR'S C LU BA A A Kevin Kline stars in the latest from director Michael Hoffman, the story of one man's journey from prep school stu-

SHORTS » 49A

RATINGS

A « refund, please A A * could've been worse, but not a lot A A A *■ has its moments; so-so A A A A = smarter than the average bear A A A A A « as good as it gets

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flick chick

BY SUSAN GREEN

SHORT TAKES ON THE REEL WORLD

B ig -B a n g T h e o rie s ilmmaker Michael Moore is a new prankster o f the left. N ot since Abbie Hoffman has an artist so effectively used guerrilla theater tactics to fight the power. The late Yippie activist combined political passion and outrageous wit to help navigate the nightmares o f the Johnson, Nixon and Reagan years. Moore is an astute cultural agitator for these times. His Bowling for Colum bine, a documentary that earned a 2002 Cannes festival prize, opened without fanfare at the Nickelodeon in Burlington

Moore interrogates a hapless PR flak when he can’t get to the big boss. Yet the encounter provides unexpected results, a swift victory in a complex struggle against an entire culture o f violence. A more fitting target for Moores wrath is Charlton Heston, who regularly proclaims that his guns would have to be pried “from my cold, dead hands.” But his First Amendment right to say whatev er he likes and his Second Amendment right to bear arms are not the point in Bowling. The actor’s real offense is tim ing: He officiated at a National Rifle Association rally in Littleton 10 days after the Harris-Klebold rampage, and at another in Michigan only 48 hours after a 6-year-old Flint boy fatally shot a class mate. “Moses himself showed up,” recalls a

MICHAEL M O O R E IN B O W LIN G FO R C O LU M B IN E

Critics have slammed Bowling for cornering Heston, now an old man with Alzheimer's. Frankly, viewer sympathy should be reserved for the families of those Michigan 6-year-olds.

Constitutional Law Introduction to Animation Wildlife Ecology Herbalism Acting and Directing Violence and Hate Crimes in the 20th Century Introduction to Screenwriting The Science and Politics of Biotechnology Holocaust: Shadow and Light Eastern Cinema U. S. Foreign Policy Since 1898 Hollywood and its Alternatives Art Therapy: Experiential Biopsychology Introduction to Counseling The Aesthetics of Hunger: Third World Cinema History of Psychology VX \ i-■■ , • •■ . ^■ Myths and Mysteries of Hellenic • and Hellenistic Greece Symbolism: Language of the Soul Holotropic Breathwork Non-Linear Editing: Avid or Final Cut Pro Media, Pharmacology, and Spirituality , Xtreme Filmmaking and many more... 95 North Avenue Burlington, Vermont 862-9616 or 1-800-862-9616 www.buflingtoncollege.edu

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last week — perhaps a move to eclipse the picture’s already scheduled run begin ning this Friday at the Savoy Theater in Montpelier. Does multinational Hoyts really care about how Moore examines this society’s love affair with guns? Not likely. Moore’s heart-felt, albeit periodically grandiose, expos^ looks at the way fear has always enriched the ruling class and cor rupted “the angels o f our better natures,” to quote gun victim Abraham Lincoln. We are manipulated into panic on a daily basis — from pharmaceutical ads about uncontrollable diarrhea to “if it bleeds, it leads” T V news programs to George W. Bush’s sound bites about “evil-doers.” America’s frightened populace is wellarmed and potentially dangerous. This country experiences more than 11,000 shooting deaths every year, compared with a mere 160 in Canada, where guns dan be found in seven out 6 f every 10 households. The film’s provocative title was inspired by the fact that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the Colorado teen killers, supposedly spent the morning at a bowl ing alley before their 1999 high school shooting spree in Littleton that “wasted” 13 and injured dozens. Two o f the injured, boys with perma nent damage, accompany Moore on the kind o f “ambush-journalism” excursion he first introduced in his debut docu mentary about corporate shenanigans, Roger & Me. In this case, the trio — one kid’s now paralyzed in a wheelchair — wants to meet with the C E O o f KMart. One o f the company’s stores sold the specific bullets, at 17 cents apiece, that were used in the Columbine mas sacre. It’s an awkward face-off, in which

Michigan county prosecutor, astonished by Heston’s insensitivity. This incident resonates personally for the sometimes self-righteous and selfaggrandizing Moore, who ricochets from satire to earnest polemic. Flint is his hometown. So, it’s not surprising he would confront Heston by simply show ing up at the NRA president’s gated Hollywood mansion. Moore happens to be a lifetime member o f the organization, stemming from a childhood fascination with guns and a marksmanship skill developed as an adolescent. Although “Moses” agrees to appear on camera, things quickly go sour. He storms away, but not before Moore bran dishes a photograph o f the dead firstgrader from Flint. It’s a chilling moment. Critics have slammed Bowling for corner ing Heston, now an old man with Alzheimer’s. Frankly, viewer sympathy should be reserved for the families o f those Michigan 6-year-olds. Given such scenes, what could possi bly be funny about Moore’s ambitious treatise? Take your pick: an animated sequence that outlines a subversive histo ry o f the United States, as narrated by a talking bullet; or a snippet from a Chris Rock performance, in which the comic suggests that charging $5000 for every, bullet might make gunslingers think twice before blowing other people away. Moore also finds gallows humor in an interview with soybean grower James Nichols. His Michigan farm served as a bomb test site for his brother Terry Nichols and Timothy McVeigh before they moved on to Oklahoma City. “N o,” the suspected tofu terrorist answers when asked if pistol-packing Americans should also have the right to own weapons-grade plutonium. “There’s wackos out there.” ®

SEVfK DAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I film 49A

se e <shOWtimeS> next p age

<film clips> 47A « SHORTS

Your "Complete" Video Specialists! STAR TREK: N EM ESIS**1* Patrick

dent to teacher. Based on a short story

Cinderella story o f a Chicago chamber

by Ethan Canin. With Rob Morrow and

maid who falls in love with a wealthy

Stewart, Brent Spiner, Jonathan Frakes

guest. Ralph Fiennes costars. (PG)

and the rest of the crew suit up to boldly go where, you know, the whole

Embeth Davidtz. (PG-13)

MY BIG FAT GREEK W ED D IN G***

FAR FROM H E A V E N **** Dennis Quaid and Julianne Moore are paired for this '50s-set drama about a couple whose marriage is put to the test when

Worlds collide when Nia Bardalos, as the daughter of a Greek restaurant owner, falls for a WASP-y high school

the wife discovers her husband has been hiding in the closet throughout

teacher played by John Corbett in this

their relationship. Todd Haynes directs. (PG-13)

FRIDA'**-*1* Salma Hayek portrays the

shoestring romantic comedy. (PG) PUNCH-DRUNK L O V E * * * * Somebody

performance in the new film from

Alfred Molina costars. (R)

Magnolia director Paul Thomas Anderson, a dark comedy about a lone

installment in Ice Cube's’ lucrative

ly businessman whc winds up black

Friday series, this one reteams the actor-writer with DJ Pooh on the

mailed by a vicious phone-sex opera tor. With Emily Watson and Philip

screenplay which tracks the further

Seymour Hoffman. (R)

THE R IN G ** Naomi Watts stars in this

as they take jobs as mall security

thriller about a reporter who makes the

guards during the Christmas rush.

mistake of getting personally involved

Marcus Raboy directs. Mike Epps

in a story about a mysterious video tape with the power to kill. Brian Cox

costars. (R)

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS**-* Everybody's favorite

costars. Gore Verbinski directs. (PG-13)

THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 * * It's beginning

preteen wizard is back! This time

to look a lot like Tim Allen's career is

around he reteams with old friends to

in big trouble. The comedian reprises

rid his school of a new and mysterious menace. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma

the role that sleighed 'em back in '94, donning a beard and fat suit for the

Watson and Rupert Grint star. Chris

further adventures of Scott Calvin,

Columbus directs. (PG)

who, this time around, is under the gun to save Christmas by finding a

THE HOT C H ICK** The latest from the new king of dumb comedy, Rob Schneider, tells the story of a popular high school girl who wakes up one

For more films at non-cinema venues, see calendar. Section B.

NEW ON DVD/VHS THE COUNTRY BEA R S** Christopher Walken and Haley Joel Osment are among the voice cast for this live-action Disney comedy about a musical act made up of bears. Elton John, Don Henley and

popular Animal Planet series 'The Crocodile Hunter," attempts to snag a wider audience with this big-screen

bride before December 25. Wendy

saga in which he protects a croc that's swallowed a top-secret U.S. satellite beacon from agents sent to recover it.

Crewson and Judge Reinhold costar. Michael Lembeck directs. (G)

Shouldn't that be spelled "crock"? Wife Terri costars. (PG)

The Animal, you're sure to love him as

Hermann Hesse's classic story of a

Spielberg, a sci-fi saga set in a futuris

a cheerleader. With Rachel McAdams.

young Brahmin and his quest for a

tic Washington, D.C., where law

(PG-13)

meaningful way of life. Shot entirely in India by the great cinematographer

stars in the latest from Steven

Sven Nykvist. Starring Shashi Kapoor. (NR)

S O L A R I S * * ** George Clooney stars in Steven Soderbergh's adaptation of sci-

MAID IN MANHATTAN* ★ > * J.Lo's pre

fi author Stanislaw Lem's novel about

vious difficulties in the romantic com

a psychologist who's sent to investi

edy department (see The Wedding

gate odd behavior onboard a space station and, on arrival, quickly begins

Planner — no, don't!) apparently did n't deter her from taking another crack at the genre. This time she stars in the

behaving oddly himself. Natascha

enforcement agencies emptoy seers to tip them off to potential homicides. Cruise plays a cop who finds himself

747-7001

442-4708

We've Got the Movies! now accepting reservations for

New Years Eve live entertainm ent w ith

Dan P arks and the Blame 10:30-close P arty favors and a Cham pagne Toast at m idnight to b rin g in the New Year - s s c o v e r

e ro

S £

Diane Lane are paired in the latest

IRISH ^ R E S T A U R A N T S ,

PUB

from Adrian Lyne, a steamy thriller about a suburban wife who's caught Olivier Martinez costars. (R)

o o fO

Open New \e a rs Day at noon come watch all the the bowl gam es on our BIG SCREEN!

UNFAITH FU L***1* Richard Gere and

Cuz there's catin’ and drinkin' in it Ri Ra, Irish Pub and Restaurant, 123 Church St., Burlington. Ph.(802) 860 9-101 www.rira.com

COSPONSORED BY:

HEALTHY LIVING NATURAL FOODS MARKET

FILM Q U IZ 2

194NortASt Bennington

Samantha Morton and Colin Farrell costar. (PG-13)

THE HOYTS CINEMAS

Time for one of the m ost popular versions of our quiz — in which we te st your powers of reconstructive thinking with an assortm ent of fam ous features, for which we need the owners' fam ous n am es...

660-9344

Rutland

on the wrong end of a prediction.

cheating on her suspicious husband.

McElhone costars. (PG-13)

Film F eatures

170-0020

230NorthMainSt

MINORITY R E P O R T ***1* Tom Cruise

1972 film brings to the screen

of themselves. (R)

864-0151

83-APearlSL PortersPointR1 EssexJunction Colchester

THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE**1* Steve Irwin, star of the

SIDDHARTHA***1* Conrad Rooks’

Knoxville reprises his role on the MTV hit in which ordinary people risk life and limb to make extraordinary fools

Burlington

Willie Nelson have cameos. (G)

morning to find herself in the body of a 30-year-old man. If you liked him as

JACKASS: THE MOVIE** Johnny

1127h(tlitRW

Thompson, David Hyde-Pierce and

Robert Louis Stevenson classic. (PG)

actually getting stellar reviews for his

comic adventures of Craig and Day-Day

(PG-13)

TREASURE P L A N E T *** Emma Martin Short head the voice cast in Disney's animated sci fi take on the

troubled Mexican painter Frida Kahlo in

FRIDAY AFTER N E X T **1* The third

gang goes every few years. This time around, they face off against old foes, the Romulans. Stuart Baird directs.

hell's frozen over. Adam Sandler is

check the Weather Channel and see if

this biopic from director Julie Taymor.

Superstore

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS

NONE!

GIVE THE GIFT

OF.NECI

3 LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS

1. 2. 3. 4.

MEL GIBSON MICHAEL J . FOX PATRICK STEWART CLAIRE DANES

DEADLINE: Monday. PRIZES: 10 pairs of free passes per week. In the event of a

SEND ENTRIES TO: Film Quiz, P0 Box 68, Williston, VT 05495. OR EMAIL TO: tie, winner chosen by lottery.

ultrfnprd@aol.com. Be sure to include your address. Please allow four to six weeks for delivery of prizes.

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Saturday on News Channel 5!

LOOKING

FOR THE P E R F E C T G I F T ?

O R D ER YOUR N EC I G IFT C A RD TODAY. Our new gift card is redeem able at any o f the seven celebrated restaurants of New England Culinary Institute or for cooking demos and NECIWare purchases.

Buy $100.00 worth of gift cards and receive a $10.00 coupon. (Coupon valid December 1, 2002 - April 1, 2003) STOP BY ANY OF OUR RESTAURANTS OR CALL:

802.225.3261

50A I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

28 Church Street •Burlington

802.862.7766 www.lineagegallery.com

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. Film times may change. Please call theaters to confirm. * = New film.

a, mouse, ier, tarkay, kart, haring, w featuring orks by dr. py holida

lineage gallery Tuesday-Thursday: 11-6 Friday-Saturday: 11-8 Sunday: 11-5 Monday: By appointment

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4

NICKELODEON CINEMAS

Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293.

College Street, Burlington; 863-9515.

Wednesday 18

thursday 19

—

thursday 19

Lord of the Rings I I * 7:20. The Hot

Bow ling for Colum bine* 3:50, 6:50,

Chick 7. Maid in Manhatten 6:40. Harry Potter I I 7:10. Die Another Day 6:30.

9:25. Drumline 4, 6:40, 9:30. Frida 3:40, 6:30, 9:15. Far From Heaven 4:20, 7:10, 9:45. The Emporer's Club 4:10, 7, 9:40.

friday 20

— -

tuesday 24

Lord of the Rings I I 12:30, 4, 7:20. Wild

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 4:30, 7:20, 9:50.

Thornberrys 12:40, 2:20, 4:10, 6:30, 8 (except Tue). The Hot Chick 1:15, 3:20,

friday 20 — Wednesday 25

7, 9:10 (except Tue). Maid in Manhatten

Gangs of New York* 12:30 (Sat-Mon), 2

1:20, 3:30, 6:50, 9:10 (except Tues).

(Tue), 4:15 (except Tue), 6 (Tue), 8

Matinees and late show Saturday and Sunday only

(Sat-Tue), 3:40, 7:20, 9:50 (except Tue).

(except Tue). Two Weeks Notice* 1:10

ESSEX OUTLETS CINEMA

Bow ling for Columbine 12:45 (Sat-Tue), 3:30, 6:45, 9:30 (except Tue). Far From Heaven 4, 7:10, 9:45 (except Tue).

Essex Outlet Fair, Rt. 15 & 289, Essex Junction, 879-6543

The Emporer's Club 1 (Sat-Tue), 7. Drumline 3:50, 9:35 (except Tue).

Wednesday 18

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 4:20, 9:20

Frida 1:20 (Sat-Tue), 6:30 (Fri, Wed). thursday 19

—

Lord of the Rings I I * 10, 11:30, 2, 3:30, 6, 7:30, 10. Die Another Day 12:40,

(except Tue). Treasure Planet 12:55 (Sat-Tue).

3:45, 6:40, 9:45. Harry Potter I I 11:30, 3:15, 7. Maid in Manhattan 11:30, 2,

THE SAVOY THEATER

4:30, 7:10, 9:40. Santa Clause 2 11:45,

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

2:20, 5, 7:30, 10. Star Trek Nemesis 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. The Hot Chick 7:10, 9:40. Treasure Planet 11:45, 2:15, 4:45.

Wednesday 18 — thursday 19 Siddhartha 5, 7. friday 20

friday 20

tuesday 24

—

Lord of the Rings I I * 10, 11:30, 2, 3:30, 6 (except Tue) 7:30 (except Tue), 10

thursday 26

—

Bowling For Colum bine* 1:30 (Sat-Tue), 5 (Mon, Wed-Thu), 6:30 (Fri-Sun), 7:15 (Mon, Wed), 8:50 (Fri-Sun).

(except Tue). The Wild Thornberrys* 10:15, 12:20, 2:30, 4:45, 7 (except Tue), 9 (except Tue). Two Weeks Notice*

Laws o f the Land

D o n a te

Jim Condos began donating whole blood for the American Red Cross many years ago after being encouraged by a friend. The law for his own life is simple. When one can make a difference, one should. That’s why Jim donates, he’s saving the lives around him.

B lo o d

T o day

Call 802.658.6400 for an appointment today or walk into the donor center on 32 North Prospect Street in Burlington.

SOUTH BURLINGTON 9

11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15 (except Tue), 9:45

Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864-5610.

(except Tue). Die Another Day 2:50, 10 (except Tue). Harry Potter I I 11, 6:30

Wednesday 18

(except Tue). Maid in Manhattan 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7:10 (except Tue), 9:40 (except Tue). Star Trek Nem esis 10, 12:50, 3:40, 6:30 (except Tue), 9:30 (except Tue). The Hot Chick 7:20, 9:50. Treasure Planet 11:45, 2:15, 4:45.

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Ave, Burlington, 863-6040.

— thursday 19 Lord of the R in gs* 11, 12, 12:30, 2:45,

3;45, 4:15, 6:30, 7:30, 8, 10:15. The Truth about Charlie 11:10, 6:50. Star Trek: Nem esis 11:05, 1:50, 4:35, 7:20, 10:05. Maid in Manhattan 11:20, 1:55, 4:25, 7:10, 9:40. Die Another Day 12:15, 3:30, 6:40, 9:50. The Hot Chick 11:25, 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:35. Harry Potter I I 11:30, 3, 6:35. 8 Mile 1:30, 4:10, 6:50 - (Thur only), 9:30. Analyze That 10.

‘ Its plain an d simple, donating blood is

American Red Cross

ju s t the right thing to do. ” -Jim C o n d o s

^Becau^Donatin^BloodUs^ver^ones^usines^

Wednesday 18

—

thursday 19

The Ring 6:50, 9:10. I Spy 7:20, 9:20.

friday 20

Jackass: The Movie 8:40. Friday After

The W ild Thornberrys* 11:10, 1:10 (Fri-

Next 7. Punch Drunk Love 7:10, 9:15.

Mon), 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30 (except Tue). Lord of the Rings 11 (except Wed), 12

friday 20

—

thursday 26

—

thursday 26

(except Wed), 12:30 (except Wed), 2:45,

The Ring 1:20, 6:50, 9:15. Punch Drunk

3:45, 4:15, 6:30, 7:30 (except Tue), 8

Love 8:35. Santa Clause 2 1, 6:40. 8

(except Tue), 10:15 (except Tue). Maid in

Mile 1:30, 7, 9:20. Sweet Home Alabama 1:10, 7:10, 9:10.

Manhattan 11:20 (except Wed), 1:55 (except Wed), 4:25, 7:10, 9:40 (except

Matinees Saturday and Sunday only

Tue). Star Trek: Nem esis 11:05 (except Wed), 1:50 (except Wed), 4:35, 7:20,

MERRILL'S SHOWCASE

10:05 (except Tue). Harry Potter I I 11:30 (except Wed), 3, 6:35. Die Another Day

Williston Rd, S. Burlington,

12:15 (except Wed), 3:30, 6:40, 9:50

863-4494

(except Tue). The Hot Chick 11:25

Wednesday 18

—

thursday 19

(except Wed), 1:45 (except Wed), 4:20, 7, 9:35 (except Tue). Analyze That 10.

Star Trek: Nem esis 7, 9:20. Harry Potter 2 7:30. Die Another Day 6:45, 9:10.

STOWE CINEMA 3 PLEX

Analyze That 7:20, 9:30. Treasure Planet 7. My Big Fat Greek W edding 8:40.

Mountain Rd, Stowe, 253-4678.

friday 20

tuesday 24

The Lord of the Rings I I * 12:01 a.m.,

Lord o f the Rings I I 11:30, 2:45, 6,

4:15, 8 (Thu). Star Trek: Nem esis 7:30 Die Another Day 7:30.

Wednesday 18 —

9:20. Gangs o f New York 11:40, 2:55,

—

thursday 19

6:10, 9:30. Two Weeks Notice 1:20, 3:20,

Sirloin Saloon 2545 Shelburne Rd. Shelburne

T h Is H oliday S eason ,

live the Gift

o f Dining;! www.steakseafood.com or call 985-8074

7, 9:25. Star Trek: Nem esis 1:10, 3:30,

friday 20

6:45, 9:15. Harry Potter 2 1:30, 6:20.

The Gangs of New York* 1:30 (Sat-Mon),

Analyze That 9:10.

4:45, 8:15. Catch Me I f You Can* 1:15

Matinees Saturday and Sunday only

The Lord of the Rings I I * 1:15 (Sat-

—

thursday 26

(Thur), 3:50 (Wed & Thur), 6:30, 9:10. Mon), 4:30, 8. Star Trek: Nem esis 1:45 (Sat-Mon), 4 (Thu-Mon), 9:10.

985-2200 Schedules for the follow ing

Perrys Fish House 1080 Shelburne Rd. South Burlington

862-1300 Sweetwaters Bistro Church St. Marketplace ' Burlington

864-9800

theaters are not available at press time. CAPITAL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waits field, 496-4200. M ARQ UIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. PARAMOUNT THEATRE 211 North Main Street, Barre, 479-4921. STOWE CINEM A 3 PLEX Mountain Rd, Stowe, 253-4678 SUNSET DRIV E-IN Porters Point Rd., Colchester, 862-1800. WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527-7888.

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I 51A

We've Got What You Like 1633 Williston Rd.

•

South Burlington

• • # * * ♦ * .

th e fin a l STR ETC H

anew location near you!

SAKURA Sushi & Kitchen Sushi, Bento-Boxes, Groceries, Etc. 19 TAFT CORNERS SHOPPING CENTER WILLISTON 288-8052

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weekday lunch specials

Tuesday 12-19 - Thursday 1 2 - 2 4

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from $6.50 (dine-in only)

All Outerwear from

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S IN JO Z U

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Including coats, jackets, bibs 2-piece suits for the whole family

STUBBS

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15% o ff

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Coats and Jackets

All TUBBS Snowshoes

/VUny other items on S A L E N O W Cartiartt

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SA LE $49.99 children’s

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St. A l b a n s 5 2 7 -0 53 2

open Seven Days A Week, Major Credit Cards Accepted Gift Certificates & Lay-A-Ways Available Some exclusions may apply, no other discounts apply, discounts on regular priced in-stock merchandise only. No special orders.

Sachet Scented Guest Soap

Mini Chimes

Flavored Chocolate Spoons Shanghai Moon Sandalwood Soap

Rich Fragrant Oil From India

Headlight Alarmclock Key Light 9

Pocket Tools

Sparkling Votives

Smokeless Ash Tray

Festive Poppers

Incense 2 PU 6R TO O L

Walking Sushi (Looks Real!) Small Domino Set

Potato Gun

Pocket Chinese Checkers

Wooden D Pick Up Sticks Game 9

5 2 C h u r c h S tr e e t O n th e M a r k e t p la c e B u r lin g t o n 8 6 3 -4 6 4 4

Holiday Hours M o n . - S at. 10A -9P S u n 11A -6P

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"U ntitled Cartoon," acrylic on canvas by Skip Wrighton of Burlington. S U B M IS S IO N G U ID E L IN E S

> Âť fu n stu ff story minute troubletown life in hell red meat 7D crossword astrology lola * dykes

FRONT PAGE GALLERY

Seven Days accepts slides, hi-resolution

29B 29B 29B 29B 30B 30B 31B 32B

digital files, and full-color reproductions of 2-dimensional artwork from Vermont artists for one-time, non-paying exhibition in the F R O N T P A G E G A L L E R Y of Section B. Submissions must be vertically-oriented, nonÂ originals no larger than 8 1/2" x 11". We will only return artwork that includes an SASE with the appropriate postage. Please include your name, address, phone number, title of the works, and medium. Send submissions to: SEVEN DAYS, c/o FPA6, PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 or email to: display@ sevendaysvt.com. No phone calls, please.

02B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

LYRIC

Buy Your Buttons Online Now! www.firstnightburlmgton.com And Get Your Flynn Tickets!

TH E A TR E COMPANY

Announces events related to our April 2003 production of the m usical based on the beloved children’s story by Frances Hodgson Burnett —

Kick-Off/Informational Meeting January 2nd, 7 p.m., South Burlington High School

Special Vocal Auditions for Children’s Roles January 5th, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., Champlain Senior Center Theatre! Comedy! Drums & Dragons Parade! Music! Magic! Fireworks! and much more! Before Dec. 25

Auditions for Adult Roles/Children’s Callbacks January 6th- 9th, 6-10 p.m., South Burlington High School

After D e c 25

oles for 19 adults (stage age 15-55+) and 6 youth (stage age 10) with acting, dancing/movement, and singing abilities. Auditionees should plan to arrive at the designated start times and stay for the afternoon/ evening. Scripts available for perusal at most libraries in Chittenden County. Bring along your own cassette player if you wish to listen to musical selections. Opportunities for many behind-the-scenes creative and technical roles. Generous support for the show provided by 4 Seasons Garden Center and University Mall. Call 802/658-1484 for info or check the Lyric Theatre Company web site for details:

B u tto n sc o st$ 1 0a d u lt,$ Sk id s B u tto n sco st$ 1 5a d u lt,$ 6k id s Button Discount ends December 24th! Buttons also available at these Verm ont banks and superm arkets: KeyBank CharterOneBank ChittendenBank MerchantsBank NewEnglandFederal CreditUnion

CityMarket/OnionRiverCoop HannafordSupermarket PriceChopperSupermarkets Shaw’s Supermarkets ShelburneSupermarket

www.lyrictheatrevt.org

And at select retail stores, or call 863-6005

W in t e r S o l s t i c e C e le b r a t io n !

featuring performance artist

V ic to r ia F r a s e r

presenting the sacred story of

The First Christmas Tree plus a Candlelit Labrynth Walk

£ *

Sunday, December 22 a t 4 pm All Saints Church corner of Swift & Spear Streets, S. Burlington Donations welcome • Suitable for adults Ftolder children

Saturday, D ecem ber 21, 7:30pm

A D D ISO N C O U N T Y G O SPEL CH O IR

December 19th - 21st

OPERA HOUSE

Thursday, D ecem ber 26, 2:00pm m atinee

N A TIO N W ID E TOLL-FREE CALLING

D IN O M A N IN D IN O L A N D A N D T H E A M A Z IN G D IN O S A U R P E T T IN G Z O O

F R E E ACTIVATION

MOTOROLA V60 FOR $39.95 A FT ER $140 IN S T A N T & $50 M A IL -IN R EB ATES, W H ILE S U P P LIES LAST.

New activation and 24-month service agreement required on all promotional offers.

admission $8/$6 children under 12 SI o f each admission donated to the Addison County Humane Society Tuesday, D ecem ber 31, 8:00pm

T H E G R E E N M O U N T A IN O PERA T H E A T E R PR ESEN TS

CELLULAR part of life here, VERMONT: Burlington: Burlington Town Center So. Burlington: 344 Dorset S t Brattleboro: Hannaford Shopping Plaza Essex J e t: Essex Shopping Center Montpelier: City Center Rutland: 226 South Main S t S t Albans: Highgate Commons Shopping Center NEW HAMPSHIRE: Hanover: Hanover Park, Lebanon S t Keene: Riverside Plaza Plymouth: Tenney Mountain Plaza West Lebanon: North Country Plaza NEW YORK: Plattsburgh: 332 Cornelia S t MASSACHUSETTS: Greenfield: Big Y Plaza

• t--7 T S K u[lu HE np-ZSty*-

admission by free-will donation

MINUTES

Visit a WaPMart store near you: Vermont: BERLIN, RUTLAND, WILLISTON New Hampshire: CLAREMONT New York: GLOVERSVILLE, PLATTSBURGH

ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT

1-800-GO-CELLULAR(462 3558) www.rccwireless.com

* C ellular O n e I s se rv ic e of R C C Atlantic, Inc. Oder subject to terms of w ireless service agreement and calling plan details. New activation and 24-month service agreement required. Service activation requires $30 one-time activation tee (unless waived a s part of promotion) and credit check and may require security deposit. $150 early termination tee applies to each line. M ust be at least 18 years old with positive ID. C ustom er must verify physical address within the Cellular O ne Hom e Service Area (see in-store m aps) to obtain service Requires the u se of approved tri-mode digital equipment. P ho nes offered are available tram in-store stock while supplies last. $ 50 Mail-In Rebate ottered by Moloiola and available on Motorola v60 phone only. Allow 6 to 8 weeks tor rebate delivery. 500 0 minutes consist ol 5 00 Anytime minutes and 4500 Night & W eekend minutes. Included minutes apply only to calls made from or received in the Cellular O ne Hom e Service Area. Night 4 W eekend minutes are from 8 pm to 5:59 am M onday through Thursday, and from Friday 8 pm through M onday 5:59 am. Nationwide Toll-Free calling is available for u se from the Cellular O ne Hom e Service Area to the 50 United States. Calls m ade in excess of included plan minutes and calls m ade outside Night 4 W eekend hours or outside the Cellular O ne Hom e Service Area win incur additional per-minute charges. R o am m inutes are applied to subscribers' bills based on the month they are received from the roaming carrier. S o m e c harges may be delayed in appearing on subscribers' bills, and roam minutes may not retied calls that are made during the bill cycle Unused minutes do not carry over monthly. Equipment pricing, equipment availability and promotions may vary at Authorized Agent locations. M a p s are presented tor jeographical reference and do not represent a guarantee ot service availability Federal, state and local taxes and other surcharges apply. Other restridions apply Limited time otter S e e store lor details_____________

Jo h an n

S tra u ss, Jr.

D ie

F le d e r m a u s all

tickets $30

Frid ay, Ja n u a ry 3, 7:30pm

FRIDAY FLIC K S:

Buster Keaton in

S T E A M B O A T B IL L , JR . Tom Cleary, Guest M usician Check out our new web site at:

www.vergennesoperhouse.com For reservations and information 877-6737

W E D 18 T H U 19 F R I 20 S A T 21

S U N 22

M O N 23 T U E 24 W E D 25

All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. Be sure to include the following in your email or fax: name of event, brief description, specific location, time, cost and contact phone number. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style.

:: submission guidelines ^

MAIL: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164 FAX: 802-865-1015 E-MAIL: calendar@sevendaysvt.com.

< c a le n d a r > Listings by Gabrielle Salerno Calendar spotlights by

Tom Huntington

04B | december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

<calendar> W E D .

'MOVING & GROOVING': Y oungsters ages 2

music See clubdates in Section B.

drama

DOROTHY CAN FIELD F IS H E R PORTRAYAL:

thro u gh 5 dance and play at the Fletcher

A histo rical im personator show cases the

Free Library, B u rlin gton , 11-11:30 a.m. Free.

Verm ont writer's work and exam ines her

In fo , 865-7216.

view s

on discrim ination , intolerance, bru

ta lity and fraud. Copley W oodlands, Stowe,

activism

BU RLIN G TO N BREA D INFORM ATION S E S

toge th er in o p p o sitio n to violence and the

SIO N : Com m unity members find o u t ab ou t

war a g a in st terrorism . Top o f Church Street,

a different kind o f dou gh at Radio Bean

Tim and four gh o stly visitors teach Ebenezer

B u rlin gton , 5 p.m. Free. In fo , 863-2345,

Coffeehouse, Bu rlington, 6-8 p.m. Free.

Scrooge the m eaning o f Christm as in a

ext. 5.

In fo , 434-8103.

'A CHRISTM A S CAROL': Bob Cratchit, Tiny

m usical ad aptation o f the Victorian classic.

recently returned from Palestine recounts her experiences w ith the In te rn a tio n a l

$22-36. In fo , 296-7000.

So lid arity Movem ent. Peace and Justice

of rollicking o ne -act plays at the Hannaford Center, Middlebury, 6:30 p.m. $18. In fo , 382-1024.

'H E A V E N ': Oscar-nom inee Cate Blanchett is a British teacher who takes on the ju stice sys

652-0806.

etc B u d d h ist-style m editation and dharm a study at the Union Street Studio, Burlington, 7 :3 0 -9:30 p.m. Donations. In fo , 859-9270.

BOOK & M U SIC F A IR : Pick up new and used

Catam ount Center for the Arts, St. J o h n s-

S. Bu rlington, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. In fo ,

bury, 7 p.m. $6.50. In fo , 748-2600.

862-5125.

words 'VERMONT W R ITE R S' BOOK D ISC U SSIO N : A discu ssio n of Archer M ayor's Open Season takes aim at the c h a n gin g face of Vermont.

'N IG H T F IR E S ': This solstice celebration u sh ers in "new lig h t" w ith poetry, masked dancers and Arabian, In d ia n , African and European music. City H all Auditorium , Montpelier, 8 p.m. $9. In fo , 863-1024.

M ACINSTOSH COM PUTER GROU P: Mac users talk tech at the Gailer School, Shelburne,

sin g in g group. B u rlin gton , 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Su n d ia ta turns his own personal traum a into

TRANSPORTATION PLA N N IN G AGENCY

563-2721.

m oving at a public hearing on by-law s for

fifth-grad ers belt out holiday tunes at

County Hum ane Socie ty Shelter, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $1. In fo , 388-1100.

10-11 a.m. $5. In fo , 865-7558.

SOUTH BU RLIN G TO N L IB R A R Y STORY TIM E:

Barnes & Noble, S. Bu rlington, 1 p.m. Free.

Tots ge t toge th er to hear t a ll tales at the

In fo , 864-8001.

So u th B u rlin gto n Library. Babies to age 3,

CHORAL CONCERT: Bellow s Free Academ y stu orchestra to present Handel's Messiah. St. Mary's Church, St. Albans, 7:30 p.m. $7.

10 a.m. Children 4 and over, 1 p.m. Free. In fo , 652-7080.

'ST O R IE S & S T U F F : Children ages 3-6 take in tales and ge t crafty at the Fletcher Free Library, Bu rlin gto n , 10-10:45 a.m. Free.

In fo , 527-6538.

In fo , 865-7216.

dance VERMONT DA NCEM A KERS: Local choreogra

FlynnSpace, B u rlin gton , 7:30 p.m. $5. In fo ,

878-5639.

ance, S. Bu rlin gto n , 7:30 a.m. $15. In fo , 496-6222.

to the ice at Leddy Park Arena, Burlington,

CEN TRAL SCHOOL CH O RUS: Seventy-five

S. Bu rlin gto n , 7 p.m. Free. In fo , 660-4071.

MONY: Buy a " lig h ts o f lo ve " bulb to honor

your hard-earned cash. Network Perform

'ITTY BITTY SK A T IN G ': Pint-size 'bladers take

1 p.m. Free. In fo , 388-7634.

rate im p rov isatio n and audience interaction.

you r favorite fo ur-le gge d friend. A d dison

IN G : The president of M icrod esign C onsult in g offers tax advice on how to hold on to

C on gregatio n al Church of Middlebury, noon -

Plan n in g Organization, 30 K im ball Ave.,

gather for gam es, s o n g s and stories at the

VERM ONT CONSULTANTS NETW ORK MEET

kids

the Chittenden County M etropolitan

Westford Library, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. In fo ,

lectures

plays an in te rn ation al program at the

phers show works in progress th a t in co rp o

H UM AN E SOCIETY 'LOVE LIG H TIN G ' CERE

Bu rlin gto n , 8 p.m. $18.50. In fo , 863-5966.

Free. Call for location, 899-2867.

ORGAN CONCERT: O rgan ist George M atthew

7-9 p.m. Free. In fo , 985-1276.

M EETIN G : M otor-m inded folk keep th in g s

W ESTFORD LIBR A R Y PLAYGRO UP: Children

pipe up to jo in th is fun, in form al fem ale

dents team up with a Franklin County

Cabot Public Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. In fo ,

kids

NORTHERN WOMEN'S VO ICES: You need only

Jew ish reads and recordings at Temple Sinai,

See exhibitions in Section A.

i 11 m

Also, see clubdates in Section B.

tem after her husband overdoses on drugs.

art

11 i u . I y music

Center, Bu rlin gto n , 7 p.m. Free. In fo ,

MEDITATION GR O U P: Y ogis e n gage in Tibetan

film

'B L E S S IN G THE BOATS': Urban poet Sekou

tran sp lan t and a car accident. Flynn Center,

Northern Stage does Dickens at the B riggs

dinner w ith a side o f drama. Eat up a series

words a perform ance th a t references a kidney

PEACE PRESENTATIO N : A Vermonter who

Opera House, W hite River Junction, 7 p.m.

DINN ER TH EATER: Kids cook up a sum ptuous

art See e x h ib itio ns in Se ctio n A.

4 p.m. Free. In fo , 888-4651.

BU RLIN G TO N PEACE V IG IL : A ctiv ists stand

Wonderful Life. W aterbury Center Grange H all #237, 8 p.m. Free. In fo , 244-4168.

652-4500.

sport M OONLIGHT SNO W SH O E: The M ontpelier se ction o f the Green M ou n tain Club cele brates the fu ll m oon w ith a n igh ttim e trek th ro u gh North Branch Park. M eet at M on tpelier Recreation Field parking lot,

drama

'A C H RISTM A S CAROL': See Decem ber 18.

p.m. Free. In fo , 223-7035.

D IN N ER THEATER: See Decem ber 18.

activism

T H U R S D A Y S @ 8 ': Erudite e x p o sitio n ists offer

BU R LIN G TO N PEACE V IG IL : See December

alternatives to A Christmas Carol and It 's a

18.

STARTS FRIDAY 12/20 CALL FOR TIMES

INCENDIARY -M IC H A E L W ILM IN G T O N . C H IC A G O T R IB U N E

"PR O V O C A T IV E"

Minus Music

<553> WINNER

baby-friendly MATINEES

BABES IN ARMS MONDAYS @ 1:30 T h e r e ’s M o o r e to THAN BARNEY

life

Savoy Theater 26 M ain S t/M o n tp e lie r/2 2 9 -0 5 0 9 www.savoytneater.com

Written by Nora Mitchell. Performed by Sara Beck George, Isaiah Keepin, Will Marquess and John Rouleau

Thursday, January 9th, 7:30pm , FlynnSpace A performance poem for four voices, this is a cross between a string quartet and a chamber opera, but with no strings and no singing. Instead of strings, the human voice; instead of notes, language. Four voices interweave, overlap, and speak singly, telling the story of a young gay man’s coming out, his murder, and its aftermath.

BACARDI.

Tickets $12, Students $8 available at FlynnTix Box Office 86-FLYNN, 153 Main St. Burlington This production is made possible by the Vermont Arts Council, with support from the National Endowment for the Arts.

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I calendar 05B

W E D 18

THU 19

F R I 20

SAT 21

SUN 2 2

MON 2 3

TUE 2 4

WED 2 5

FRIDAY 20-SUNDAY 22

CANDLELIGHT V IG IL: The Com m ittee on Temporary Shelter marks tw o decades of serving hom eless Vermonters with a Church Street procession and live music. First Unitarian U n iversalist Church, Burlington, 5 p.m. Free. In fo , 864-7402.

music See clubdates in Section B.

dance DANCE SO CIAL: Sin gle s and couples of all ages learn the basics of ballroom , sw ing and Latin dancing. Jazzercize Studio, W illiston, 7 p.m. $10. In fo , 862-2207.

FAMILY & CONTRADANCE: The W oodbury Strin gs keep t h in g s lively at an "o ld -tim e contra dance." W oodbury Town Hall, 6:4511 p.m. $2. In fo , 223-8945.

CONTRADANCE: Rachel N evitt calls for Malcolm Sanders and Adam Broom e at the Cham plain Club, Crowley St., Bu rlington, 8-11 p.m. $6. In fo , 863-2199.

drama 'A CHRISTM AS CAROL': See December 18. A COUNTERPOINT C H R IST M A S: Three W eston Playhouse actors jo in the vo c al ensem ble for an evening o f Christm as stories and songs. Grace Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $14. In fo , 773-9232.

POINT MAN

film

Receiving a "Life tim e Achievem ent Aw ard" m igh t slow down som e m aestros. Bu t at 80, Robert De Cormier show s no sig n s o f a tem po change. The lo n g-tim e m usic director for Peter, Paul & Mary w as already a senior citizen when he founded the Verm ont Sy m p h o n y Orchestra Chorus.

'ALIAS BETTY': Adapted from a novel entitled

Then he convened a smaller, but still vocal, ensem ble, w hich is ho okin g up w ith mem bers o f the venerable W eston P layhou se to celebrate "A

The Tree of Hands, th is French film explores

Counterpoint C hristm as." The interactive program com bines readings of "The N igh t Before C h ristm as" and "The G ift o f the M a g i" w ith carols

the relationship between m aternity and

from England, Spain , Nigeria and Latin America.

madness. Catam ount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. In fo , 748-2600.

A C O U N T E R P O IN T C H R ISTM AS. Friday, December 20. Grace Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $14. Info, 773-9232. Saturday, December 21. Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $14. Info, 863-5966. Sunday, December 22. First Universalist Church, Barre, 4 p.m. $14. Info, 476-3114.

FRI.20 » 07B

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135

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SEVEN DAYS c a u s in ’ a racket.

- -*

06B

•

| december 18-25, 2002

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I SEVEN DAYS

<calendar> RED CT ^ S $ TNTBRNATIQMAL .HUMANITARIAN N O RTHER N VERM O N T CHAPTER, BU RLING TO N, D E C E M B E R 14, 9 A.M. - 1 RM I t was one of those rare weekends th a t I g ru d g

sym b ol was adopted from the Sw iss fla g in Dunant's

a Saturday m orning, and the foggy, drab weather

honor.

did n't make my sacrifice of precious snooze tim e very palatable. I never suspected th a t my premature departure from the coziness of a down com forter

of Clara Barton, who treated all w ounded as equals. Then on in to the brave new world o f the 20th centu

u p holdin g a provision of the Geneva Conventions.

ry, when hum ans tapped the lim itle ss p ossib ilitie s for

Vermont chapter o f the Am erican Red Cross, unlocked

m aim in g, b urn in g and b lo w in g each other to bits. Slow ly we started to see how hum anity awoke to its

the front door and let us in sid e for the day's class,

own w orst tendencies and so u g h t ways to check

"H u m an ity in the M idst o f War." I scanned the m orn

them, e vo lv in g more and more protections for v ic

in g newspaper. Henry Kissin ger had ju st resigned

tim s o f war, from c om ba tan ts to m edical personnel

from the panel lo okin g in to the causes of 9/1 1 . The

and eventually civilians.

U.S. Navy had released a North Korean ship seized

B e fo re I knew it, I foun d m yself enthralled by

on the h igh seas for carrying m issiles to Yemen.

the w ork-in -p ro gre ss th a t is IH L , where even the

Another update on w eapons in spe ction s in Iraq.

w orld's m ost cruel, depraved and law less —

Meanwhile, Sam poured coffee for the sm all group o f attendees who'd started trickling in: an older g e n

Hezbollah, So m ali w arlords —

Nazis,

som ehow could not

defy world o p in ion , or perhaps their own humanity,

tlem an who works at the Sm all B u sin ess A d m in istra

by refusing requests from the In te rn a tio n a l Red

tion; a Hungarian m ental-health expert who'd treated

Cross. Like the p hysics o f a curve ball, som ehow it

victim s of war in the Balkans; a Red Cross staffer;

works.

and a Harvard law student who was our instructor's son. The instructor, Sanjay Sathe, launched in to a

Sathe explained e verything w ith the patience o f a sp iritu al teacher: The Red Cross is, in a sense, a sec

discu ssio n o f the o rigin s of in te rn ation al hu m an itari

ular religion w hose core values are found in all the

an law, or IH L , with the w ell-inform ed ease of a c o l

w orld's great faiths. It s sym b o l has com e to be rec

lege professor. Only later did I learn his expertise

ogn ized not only as neutral, im p artia l and sacro

com es not from his profession —

sanct, b ut as the thread th a t even in our m ost

trader —

he's a fin an cial

but from his u p brin gin g as the son of an

In d ia n diplom at.

n ih ilist m om ents binds hu m an ity to its h ighe st ideals. "The ideas o f in te rn ation al hum anitarian law

Adm ittedly, I didn't have great expectations for a course th a t purported to teach ab ou t hum anity and

PH O T O : MATTHEW T H O R S E N

We moved on to the m echanized destruction of the C ivil War, the first ta k in g o f POWs and the work

w ould, in a sm all but sign ific an t way, contribute to At 8:45 a.m., Sam , a volunteer at the Northern

injured com batants, and the red-on-w hite Red Cross

in g ly acquiesced to drag m yself from the slum ber of

are found in our so u ls," Sathe said. "H o w you figh t the war dictate s how you live in peace."

c iv il conduct in the m idst o f our species' m ost dys

By offering a class in in te rn ation al hum anitarian

fu n ctio n al and destructive behavior. I'd alw ays su s

law, the Am erican Red Cross not only m eets a basic

pected th at enforcing rules during wartim e is, in the

requirem ent o f the Geneva Conventions, but also

w ords of Martin Sheen's character in Apocalypse Now,

teaches a lesson th a t has never been more tim ely:

"like h an d in g out speeding tickets at the In d y 500."

When all nations, espe cially the strongest, respect

But Sathe was soon lead ing us th ro u gh a fasc in a tin g

the rule o f law, they protect their own as much as

discourse on the origin s o f IH L , b e g in n in g at the

their enemies'. T hou gh it's been 138 years since the

Battle o f Sulferino, Italy, in 1859, where a yo u n g

first Geneva Convention, th a t work is far from done.

Sw iss man named Henry Dunant was horrified to

As Sathe so su ccinctly concluded, "W here hu m anitari

w atch as 40,000 wounded lay unattended and dying

an efforts are concerned, no victories are perma

on the battlefield as their rescuers were slaughtered.

nen t."

Dunant's efforts to change th is wartim e practice led to the first Geneva Convention of 1864 to protect

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SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I calendar 07B

WED 18

THU 19

FRi 20

SAT 21

SUN 22

MON 23

TUE 2 4

WED 25

FRI.20 « 05B

art

Charpentier, and The Christmas Story, by 20th-century German com poser H ugo Distler.

See exhibitions in Section A.

Barre U nive rsalist Church, 7:30 p.m. $12.

words

In fo , 426-3210.

AD DISO N COUNTY GO SPEL CHOIR: So u lfu l

POETRY SLA M : Poets slin g w ords to qualify

so u n d s abound at the Vergennes Opera

for a place on the People's Republic of

House, 7:30 p.m. Donations. In fo ,

Vermont Poetry Slam Team. Radio Bean,

877-6737.

Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. In fo , 862-9198.

HOLIDAY CONCERT: Two m usical groups — Sheefra and Seven E ggs —

offer Celtic and

kids

a cappelta so un d s for the season. Jericho

'K ID 'S KN IG H T O U r : Children ages 5-12

899-4863.

C on gregatio n al Church, 7 p.m. $5. In fo ,

find fun and gam es at a bash throw n by the St. Mike's w om en's b asketball team. Ross Gym nasium , St. M ichael's College, Colchester, 5:30-9 p.m. $10. In fo ,

dance CONTRADANCE: D o -si-d o to live fiddle and piano at the C ap ital City Grange, Montpelier,

6 5 4 -2 7 2 1 /

'M USIC WITH ROBERT AND G IG I': Kids sin g along with Robert Resnik and his fidd le playing friend G igi W eism an. Fletcher Free Library, Bu rlington, 11 a.m. Free. In fo , 865-7216.

8 p.m. $7. In fo , 744-6163.

HOLIDAY DANCE PARTY: Dancers o f all ages and abilitie s rock around the Christm as tree. Jazzercise Studio, W illiston , 8:30-11 p.m. $10. In fo , 862-2207.

SACRED CIRCLE DANCE: Celebrate the so l stice and e arth-based spiritu ality with trad i

sport

tio n a l dances from around the world. Yoga

'OLDIE BU T GOODIE' BA SK E T B A L L LEA G U E:

Verm ont Studio, B u rlin gton , 7-9:30 p.m.

Move over, M ichael Jordan. Men over 35 prove they can get around on the court. Edmunds M iddle School, Bu rlington, 6:45-9:45 p.m. Free. $500 per team. In fo , 864-0123.

Donations. In fo , 425-6061.

drama 'A CH R ISTM A S CAROL': See December 18, 2 & 7 p.m.

A COUNTERPO INT CH R ISTM A S: See

etc

Decem ber 20, U nitarian U n iversalist Church,

W INTER SO LSTICE CELEBRATIO N : Bring fla sh ligh ts and lanterns to lig h t up the dark

B u rlin gton , 7:30 p.m. In fo , 863-5966.

'A CH R ISTM A S CAROL': A m iserly old man

HOUSE LIGHTS

est n ight of the year and carry o u t solstice

discovers the g ift o f g iv in g in a m ulti-m edia

traditions from around the world. V IN S

version o f the Scrooge story. Lebanon Opera

Though m ost people prospered in the th rivin g '90s, in creasin g num bers o f fam ilie s cou ldn't

North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier,

House, N.H., 2 & 7:30 p.m. $22. In fo , 603-

afford a roof over their heads. The B u rlin gto n -b ase d C om m ittee on Temporary Shelter was

448-0400.

p.m. Donations. In fo , 229-6206.

born to meet these people's needs tw o decades ago, on Christm as Eve. The sheltering o rga n i

'THE HOLIDAYS - SOME A SSEM B LY R E Q U IR E D ': Firefly Productions presents a

lum inaries read v ign e tte s ab o u t som e o f the 5000 fo lks served. "You c an 't d ism iss the issu e as

awry.

an abstraction when you hear the hum an story behind it , " e x plains COTS executive director

Fletcher Union M eeting House, 8 p.m.

Rita Markley.

film

Also, see clubdates in Section B.

ONION RIV ER CHO RUS: M ontpelier v o calists

Street and so n g s by Rachel Bissex and the Essex Children's Choir. To kick off the event, local

hysterical lo ok at the holiday sp irit gone

$12. In fo , 644-2542.

music

zation marks its 20th anniversary w ith a c an d le ligh t v igil, a to rc h lig h t parade down Church

C O T S C A N D LE LIG H T VIGIL. Thursday, December 19. First Unitarian

'A LIA S BETTY': See December 20, 7 & 9 p.m.

Universalist Church, Burlington, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7402.

perform the Midnight Mass fo r Christmas Eve, by French Baroque com poser Marc A ntoine

SAT.21 » 08B

OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY!

^Urcnia It

Restaurant 11:00am-10:00pm 5 Market Street South Burlington 658-3626

Serving Traditional Turkey, Honey Ham, Hong Kong Ham, and Hong Kong Steak. PLUS... All Your Orchid Favorites! $ 9 .9 5 Adults $ 6 .9 9 Kids (8 -1 2 ) $ 4 .9 5 (3-7) Kids under 3 e a t fo r free!

Stray C at Flower Farm 1 WEDDINGS From lull-service formal to pick-up a t the farm,

DELIVERY

Buriington-area businesses, events and custom orders.

FARMERS MARKET

• May thru October, Saturdays at City Hall Park.

S ?

865 ^ 0 0 6 8

The

UNIVERSITY of VERMONT

c o u r s e s and part-time p r o g r a m s

C O N T IN U IN G EDU CATION

on c a mp u s ■ onl i ne ■ around the state

learn.uvm.edu

S e me s t e r s tar ts J a n u a r y 13. R e g i s t e r today. Cal l 800-639-3210.

SAT.21 « 07B

art

CANDY CANE MAKING DEMOS: Confectionery artists from L au gh in g M oon C hocolates show

See exhibitions in Section A.

kids and ad u lts th a t m aking sw eets can be

Decem ber 20, First Unitarian U nive rsalist

drama

Church, Barre, 4 p.m. In fo , 476-3114.

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL': See Decem ber 18.

A COUNTERPOINT CHRISTMAS: See

as fun as e atin g them. Lau gh in g M oon

words BOOK SIGNING: Local writer Peter Oliver autographs his picture-filled ski-tow n h isto ry, Stowe: Classic New England. O ctagon Web Cafe, Stowe Resort, 1-3 p.m. Free. In fo , 800-253-4754.

9591.

WINTER SOLSTICE RITUAL: Get in to the s o l stice sp irit w ith pre-Christian practices

See exhib itio ns in Section A.

day season as a way of preparing it for

fun activities at the Pine Forest Children's

in co m in g residents. Kilpatrick Dorm,

Center, Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. In fo ,

Goddard College, Plainfield, 8:30 a.m. - 5

652-5138.

p.m. Free. In fo , 454-8311, ext. 265.

darkest day of winter by turn in g an em pty

in g thro u gh the sn ow at Shelburne Farms, every half-h ou r from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. $7.

Fletcher Free Library, Bu rlington, 10-11:30

In fo , 985-8442.

SOLSTICE TALK: W illiston storyteller Victoria

sport 'OLDIE BUT GOODIE' BASKETBALL LEAGUE: See Decem ber 20, M em orial Auditorium ,

athletes hoop it up in a friendly com p e ti

fam ilies worked and played. Ethan Allen

Stowe, all day. Free. In fo , 253-7302.

tion at M em orial Auditorium , Bu rlin gto n ,

etc

ONION RIVER CHORUS: See December 20,

WASSAIL WEEKEND: See December 21.

art See exhib itio ns in Section A.

SLEIGH RIDES: See Decem ber 21.

etc

LIVING NATIVITY: A visit to the manger affirms

S L E IG H RIDES: S e * Decem ber 21.

o f H andel's holiday c la ssic allow s the a u d i

the agrarian origins of the Christmas story.

lovers sam ple the late st gear offered by

ence to sin g —

Second Congregational Church, Jeffersonville,

more than tw o dozen suppliers.

M iddlebury C on gregatio n al Church, 3 p.m.

Notch Resort, Jeffersonville, 9 a.m. Free. In fo , 6 4 4 - 1 1 5 6 ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

and play —

alon g.

ITT

See clubdates in Section B.

Also, see clubdates in Section B.

Sm u ggle r's

the M ontpelier section o f the Green M o u n

Club celebrates the winter solstice w ith a

M ontpelier Unitarian Church.

music

tain Club. Noon. Free. In fo , 479-2304.

'M ESSIAH' SING-ALONG: An "op e n readin g"

V t..^

Explore snow -covered Groton State Park w ith

walk to Butler Lodge. Meet at UVM metered

SKI & SNOWBOARD DEMOS: W inter sports

4-8 p.m. $475 per team . In fo , 864-0123.

music

O A

HP! I d

GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB SNOWSHOE:

SUN.22

655-3071.

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See December

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL LEAGUE: Female

Homestead, Bu rlington, 2 p.m. $5. In fo ,

parking lot near the w ater tower. Free. In fo ,

activism 18.

B u rlin gton , 8-10 p.m.

Festival o f Trees contest, caroling, face

Burlington section of the Green M ountain

w ith interactive holiday music. Ilsle y Public Library, Middlebury, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info,

p ain tin g and a v isit from Santa. Dow ntow n

GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB HIKE: The

teacher Buddy Dubay keeps kids entertained

388-4095.

STEAD': Children and parents "tra v e l" back

sport

CHILDREN'S MUSIC: Local kindergarten

Free. In fo , 878-9137.

to the 18th century to learn how French

865-4556.

'ITTY BITTY SKATING': See Decem ber 19.

tree. A ll Sa in ts Church, S. B u rlin gton , 4 p.m.

lage turns in to a winter w onderland with a

e x h ib itio ns in Section A.

kids

lectures and its evolution in to the first Christm as

CHRISTMAS IN THE MOUNTAINS: Stow e v il

a.m. Free. In fo , 865-7216.

See

Fraser explains the origin s of the evergreen

SLEIGH RIDES: Fam ilies and friends go d a sh

jar in to a "stain e d g la s s " candleholder.

'TIME TRAVEL AT ETHAN ALLEN HOME

art

U n iversalist Church, B u rlin gton , 5:45 p.m.

Goddard College's largest dorms for the h o li

SOLSTICE CRAFT: Little ones celebrate the

'ALIAS BETTY': See December 20.

art

$5. In fo , 879-9116.

PLAYGROUP: Parents and kids participate in

'ALIAS BETTY': See Decem ber 20.

b efittin g the occasion. Unitarian

WINTER WORK DAY: Help decorate one of

kids

film

Chocolates, Stowe, 2 p.m. Free. In fo , 253-

4-6 p.m. Free. Info, 644-5533.

Donations. In fo , 462-2918.

OTTER C p E K CHORUS: Wayne H obbs leads the SO -v o id ^ fe h p rtis^ ^ a rom re rt o f ' , '* 3 '* * ''*

.....

•'

• ; -s*.:.-—

Christm as m usic. Sto w e C om m unity Church, 5 p.m. Free. In f o / 253-7321.

WED.25

music

WASSAIL WEEKEND: This Yuletide celebra ment m aking and tours o f the au then tically

drama

Also, see clubdates in Section B.

decorated farm house and dairy. B illin g s

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL': See Decem ber 18, 2 &

MESSIAH SING-ALONG: See Decem ber 22,

tion features old-fashion ed Christm as orna

Farm & Museum , W oodstock, 10 a.m. - 4

7 p.m.

Stow e C om m unity Church, 7:30 p.m. $5.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

In fo , 253-7321.

p.m. $9. In fo , 457-2355.

The Farmers That Own Cabot, WOKO 98.9 & Vermont Life Magazine Present:

logger's HOLIDAY VARIETY SHOW

New show - Plenty of Logger comedy! UNCLE FURMON! "Inventive, entertaining... exceptional." - The Boston Globe N O W IN

Yes we have tents too!

SOME CUSSIN

STOWE!

Stowe High School

Let us bring the settings to your table this H o lid ay Season!

All shows 8 pm December 26, 27, 28, 29 & 30 $15 A d u lt s / $ 1 2 C h i l d r e n u n d e r 12

Tables Chairs

China Flatware

Linens Napkins

Serving Pieces Chafing Dishes

Glassware Punch Bowls

Delivering creative settings to tables throughout N e w England.

Coffee Makers Heated Tents

V erm o n t.T en t-C o m p a n y

802-863-6107 • 800-696-8368 14 Berard Dr., So. Burlington * www.vttent.com

To reserve, charge by phone 1-888-917-8789 S p o n s o r e d by W C AX TV 3 • P o w e r s o f t O n l i ne

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SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I 09B

Ho, Ho, Ho.. Guitar to Go!

Acoustic Guitars from$99 &up Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about the music Advance M usic 75 Maple Street Burlington 863-8652 M-F10-6, Sat 10-5, Sun 12-5 www.advancemusicvt.cem

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NEW YEAR'S JOIN US AT THE WAITING ROOM FOR A FIVE COURSE PRICE FIX DINNER. $50 PER PERSON / $80 WITH WINE & CHAMPAGNE PAIRINGS TWO SEATINGS - 6 PM & 9 PM

NOW THROUGH

COURSE 1 Roasted Chestnut Soup w/ Truffle Oil Frisee, Mache, Trevisiano w/ Roasted Walnuts, Roquefort & Crimson Pears

DECEMBER 22, 2002 F lash your Wizard Card a t the Magic Hat A rtifac to ry R e ta il Store, B a r tle tt Bay Road, So. B u rlin gton and get a FREE WIZN/Magic Hat pint g la s s with any purchase.

COURSE 2 White Pepper Crusted Sea Scallops w/ Caramelized Onion Sherry Sauce Seared Foie Gras w/ Warm Apple & Fennel Compote w/ Calvedos Gastrique

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM 106 Y?IZNI New Wizard Card S p e c ia ls begin Monday, December 30, 20021

COURSE 3 Mango Sorbet w/ Strawberry Coulis COURSE 4 Crisp Skin on Arctic Char w/ Herb Spaetzle, Baby Veggies, Raspberry Butter Herb Crusted Rack of Lamb w/Sweet Potato Apple Gratine, Haricot Verts, Rosemary Cabernet Demi Glace Wild Mushroom & Asparagus Risotto w/ Fresh Herbs, Shaved Parmigiano Reggiano, Truffle OiL COURSE 5 Chocolate Gateau w/ Raspberry Coulis & Fresh Berries Macadamia Nut Creme Brulee

Wizard Card at: • Thirsty Thursdays at Trackside Tavern • Wizard's Bar & Grill every Friday at the Lincoln Inn • Wizard Events • www.wizn.com

1 L _

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^ -

M M '

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A-DOG CALL FOR RESERVATIONS 862.3455

ROCK

T H E W A ITIN G ROOM 156 SA IN T PAU L S T R E E T

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002

C LU B DATES

m usic 11B

music

SO U N D BITES

:: V E N U E S 4 1 1

POPTEN

R E V I E W T H IS

..A ^ s g k :;

THU 1 9

AA= ALL AGES

j Sv'-Pl> 3 • * n*

NC= NO COVER

W ED . 18

'h!>

:: burling ton area IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC.

ROCK AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE:: Like eggnog and fruitcake, the

KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE, Parima,

Chrome

7 p.m. NC.

JULIET MCVICKER, TOM CLEARY & JOHN RIVERS (jazz vocals),

Cowboys' annual Christmas bash has become

Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

a tradition. Stars of the local bar scene, the

LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri R3 Irish

vintage country and rock 'n ' roll vets put their

JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz). Red

unique twist on the "songs of the season."

FTVEDAY 4 0 (hip-hop), Nectar's, 9:30

The evening will feature regular Cowboys

"U P JUMP THE BOOGIE": 25 YEARS OF HIP-HOP W/MC FATTIE B & DJ HEDF0NZ, Club Metronome, 10 p.m.

Pub, 7 p.m. NC. Square, 10 p.m. NC. p.m. NC.

Brett Hughes, Mark Ransom and Bill Mullins, plus a host of guests including Gordon Stone, Neil Cleary, Mark Spencer and members of Starline Rhythm Boys, The Cush, Queen Tangerine, Swale, Led LoCo and many others.

$ 2.

FLAVA OF DA MONTH W/DA CHAMP (hip-hop dance party w/guest DJ Robbie J.), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/5. 18+ before 11 p.m.

DJ RHINO (hip-hop/reggae/r&b), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $7/NC. 18+

OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza 8< Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, 3.P's Pub, 9 p.m. NC. THREE FOLD (art, music 8< drink to benefit Burlington City Arts), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

Drop on by Higher Ground this Thursday to get

LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban

in the ho-ho-hoedown spirit.

DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. CHRIS ROBINSON & THE NEW EARTH MUD (Black Crowes front-man; rock),Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $18/20. 18+

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. 0X 0N 0ISE & FRIENDS (rock), Rozzi's, 7 p.m. NC.

JON PENOYAR & TERRY HAYDEN (folk, old-time country), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations.

:: Champlain valley LADIES' NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

:: central OPEN MIKE, Farr's Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE W/ABBY, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

MERCER BURNS (acousta-funk-reggae), The Brewski, 5 p.m. NC.

northern OPEN MIKELESS, Cambridge Coffee house, Dinner's Dunn, 7 p.m. NC.

:: southern OPEN MIKE W/CICER0 BUCK, Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. NC.

THU.19 » 12B

' > s ' ■>'*'* is

W P S ''-

•

12B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

WED.18 « 11B

T l —II i 1 O b u r iin g to n

area

STEVEN CALLAHAN TRIO Oazz), Radio Bean, 6 p.m. NC, followed by KEVIN GREENBLOTT, IAN ALEXY (singersongwriters), 9 p.m. NC.

VORCZA (funk-jazz), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC.

POOF! W/NAOMI G. (drag karaoke), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $3.

BIG JOE BURRELL (jazz-blues), Halvorson's, 8 p.m. $5.

ELLEN POWELL & LAR DUGGAN (jazz), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

LIVE ACOUSTIC SERIES, Ri Rh Irish Pub, 8 p.m. NC.

EYE OH YOU (live hip-hop), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

TOWNHALL (roots-rock), Nectar's,

BEAT BIRTHDAY:: The peeps w ill get pum ping this Wednesday, December 18, at

MC Fattie B. DJ Hedfonz present "U p

Club Metronome as and

Jum p the B oogie." In the cele bration of 25 years of hip-hop m usic and culture, the two DJs w ill spin nu gge ts from the genre's past and present — in clu d in g the disco and funk breaks th at birthed b-boys. Local turntable guru

DJ A-Dog

w ill drop by to provide some sick scratching, while film s — such as the apropos docum en tary Scratch —

will be projected

onto an onstage screen. Need more c on vin cin g? How 'bout giveaw ays from Gravis and Threads o f Zion?

10 p.m. NC.

THE MAGIC IS GONE, THE INTERIOR, DIALOGUE FOR THREE (indie-rock).

In other Fattie B. news, four

Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $5. LADIES NIGHT (DJ Robbie J.)

duced for Big Heavy World have

Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m.

REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

JIM PAYNE & HOUSE OF PAYNE (funkjazz), Waiting Room, .10 p.m. NC.

WILL PATTON TRIO (jazz), Upper Deck Pub, Windjammer, 6:30 p.m. NC.

HOLIDAY HOEDOWN W/CHROME COWBOYS & SPECIAL GUESTS (country-rock Christmas party),

cuts from the HOP discs he pro been selected for the score of an upcom ing local film . Written and directed by Middlebury resi dent

Jon Andrews, Pursuing

Happiness is described as the story o f "the epic m om ents in three Vermonters' ordinary lives."

sou n d B

IT E

Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $5. 18+

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny 0's,

OUR TOWN

: : In the last year, Pennsylvania roots-rockers

Townhall have h it the pavem ent hard

and established a rep as in no vative and electric performers. They've shared stage s w ith everyone from

Guided By Voices

Deep Banana Blackout and

now have a debut disc, The New Song,

on the horizon. Tow nhall does som e holiday rocking th is Thursday at Nectar's.

154A CHURCH STREET (ABOVE SMOKEJACKS) BURLINGTON, VT 0 5 4 0 1 @0

2 *8 5 9 ,9 4 4 2

ZE© m iLM §+€© M

OPEN MIKE, Montpelier Community Coffee House, Rhapsody Main Street, 7 p.m. Donations.

9 p.m. NC.

:: champlain valley OPEN JAM W/ELIZA'S MISERY, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

DJ TOO-MUCH (dance). Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC

OPEN JAM (blues/funk/rock), Ashley's, 9 p.m. NC.

TlHIMi^IM @ F !0@INI

central

:: northern OPEN MIKE, Kept Writer, 7 p.m. Donations. AA

EAMES BROS., STEVE RIGBY, JOHN WILSON (mountain blues, comedy show), Matterhorn, 7 p.m. NC.

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I m usic 13B

Halvorson's Upstreet Cafe, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278.

:: southern

Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., Burlington, 862-6900. Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington,

LAMBSBREAD (reggae/dub), Pickle

863-6361.

Barrel, 10 p.m. $8.

Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. The Hungry Lion, 1145 Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5848. J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St., St. Albans, 527-6242. Kincade's, Rt. 7, Milton, 893-4649. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park St., Essex Jet., 878-3309. Lion's Den Pub, Mountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-5567. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100,

CHERYL WHEELER (contemporary folk), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p $

21.

:: burlington a re a

Backstage Pub

AESTHESIA ORCHESTRA (poetical

6 0 P e a rl S t., E sse x Je t., 8 7 8 - 5 4 9 4

soundscapes), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

OAK ST. JAM BAND, Valencia, 10 p.m. NC.

PATRICK FITZSIMMONS (singer-song writer), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. $5, fol lowed

Ensconced in a sh o pp in g center in Essex Junction, the ; B ackstage Pub isn 't the easiest lo cal bar to stum ble j upon. However, once there, it's easy to settle into. The j clientele is made up m ostly of local busin e ss types and ■ a solid cast o f regulars. The roomy bar area has a com -

by DJ CRAIG MITCHELL

| fortable, hom ey feel, w ith w ood paneling and plenty of

(techno/house), 10 p.m. $5. GIVEN GROOVE (funk-rock),

! se atin g. Two dartboards serve those in the m ood for a

Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE DJ, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10 p.m. NC. STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS (honky-

b it o f sport. On Fridays, the Pub hosts live karaoke, w hile lo cal bands rock the n igh t aw ay on Saturdays. Sm o kin g is allowed.

tonk, rockabilly), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

MIGHTY LOONS (rock). Nectar's, 10 p.m. NC.

THE LESTONS, ROCK 'N' ROLL SHERPA, THE SCHIESTERS (indie-rock; canned food drive), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $5/2.

KARAOKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. FUSION (hip-hop/reggae/dance; DJs Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

TOP HAT DJ (Top 40), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. SHAUNA ANTONIUC TRIO (jazz), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC, followed by

DJ A-DOG (lounge/acid jazz),

10:30 p.m. NC.

LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DO; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3.

F R I.20 »

14B

Angela's Pub, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-6936. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. B anana Winds Cafe & Pub, Town Market Place, Susie Wilson Rd„ Essex Jet, 879-0752. Bayside Pavilion, 13 Georgia Shore Rd., St. Albans, 524-0909. Boony's Grille, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. The Brewski, Mountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-6366. Cambridge Coffeehouse, Dinner's Dunn Restaurant, Jeffersonville, 644-5721. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. CB's The Party Place, 26 Susie Wilson Rd., Essex Jet., 878-5522. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St., Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Farr's Roadhouse, Rt. 2, Waterbury, 244-4053. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., Burlington, 863-5966. The Fish, Rt. 12, Northfield Falls, 485-7577. Franny O's, 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Geno's Karaoke Club, 127 Porters Point Road, Colchester, 658-2160. Good Times Cafe, Rt. 116, Hinesburg, 482-4444. G Stop, 38 Main St., St. Albans, 524-7777.

qfit Vermont Book. Shop A w p f io r t/v &

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C H R IS I TO -] I:kT

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H O L ID A Y H O -D O W N

FEAT. A HOLY HOST OF LOCAL MUSICIANS FRIDAY, DECEMBER20 S6 ATDOOR

LATIN Q U A R T ER D A N C E P A R TY W/DJ HECTOR’EL SALSERO’COBEO FREE SALSA/MERENCUE DANCE LESSONS: 8PM SATURDAY, DECEMBER21 $6 AT DOOR, SSW/ CANNED FOOD BURLINGTON F000 SHELF BENEFIT

TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES R IC K & TH E S FRIDAY, DECEMBER27 $10 AOVANCE$12 DAYOFSHOW

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VOICE, DEEP SODA SATURDAY, JANUARY 18 $8 ATDOOR

JIM’S BIG ECO SA LA D D A Y S 1 2 .1 9

1 2 .2 0

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D.R.E.D. 8pm $15 TIX w /n a o m i g . followed by: TASTE w/ Joe Hennessy & cRA IG mITCHELL I]

FRIDAY, JANUARY17 $6 AT DOOR | ALLAGESI MIA'S ANNUAL BIRTHDAYBASH!

C A R R IG A N , T H E C U S H & O T H E R S P E C IA L G U E S T S

POOF! w/ Naom i G. 8pm $3

SA TU R D A Y

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER18 $18 ADVANCE$20 DAVOFSHOW

Manhattan Pizza 8i Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. McDonough's, Upper Bridge Street, Plattsburgh, 518-566-8126 Millennium Nightclub, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Middle Earth Music Hall, Bradford, 222-4748. The Monkey House, 30 Main St., Winooski, 655-4563. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Muddy Waters, 184 Main St., Burlington, 658-0466. Music Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 586-7533. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 35 Green St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Parima, 185 Pearl St., Burlington, 864-7917. Pickle Barrel Nightclub, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. The Pour House, 1900 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-3653. Purple Moon Pub, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-3422. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 660-9346. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 863-2342. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sami's Harmony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, Milton, 893-7267. Sh-Na-Na's, 101 Main St., Burlington, 865-2596. St. John's Club, 9 Central Ave., Burlington, 864-9778. Stowehof Inn, Edson Hill Rd., Stowe, 253-9722. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Trinity Church, 137 Main, Montpelier, 229-9158. 242 Main, Burlington, 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. The Waiting Room, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 862-3455. Wine Bar at Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington,

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14B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVEN DAYS

F R I.20 «

13B

KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard),

DREAMWEAVER (DJ), G Stop, 9 p.m.

St. John's Club, 8 p.m. NC. PICTURE THIS (jazz), Upper Deck Pub,

THE COUNCIL (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m.

Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC.

NOBBY REED PROJECT (electric blues), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

LIVE DJ, A Taste of Dixie, 10 p.m. NC. LATIN QUARTER DANCE PARTY (DJ

NC. NC.

DJS JIMMI & CHACHI (hip-hop), Lion's Den Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

so u th e rn

Hector Cobeo; free salsa/merengue

MONEY SHOT (modern rock), Pickle

lessons at 8 p.m.). Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6. 18+

THE BENDERS (bluegrass/roots),

CYLINDER (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

Barrel, 10 p.m. $8. Middle Earth Music Hall, 9 p.m. $10.50.

KARAOKE W/T0WNIE, Banana Winds Cafe & Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/PETER BOARDMAN, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

WIZN BAR & GRILL (live radio show), Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, fol

;; b u r l i n g t o n a r e a

lowed by SUPERSOUNDS DJ (dance party/game show), 9 p.m. NC.

MISSY BLY, JOE POWER & HELOISE WILLIAMS (indie singer-songwrit

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Franny 0's,

:: Cham plain valley STUR CRAZIE (rock; annual Christmas ::

Dialogue For Three

party), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. are at

the forefront o f the B u rlin gto n post-rock movement. W ith w inding, cathartic so n gs and dizzying atm ospherics, the group creates an

ON THE CHARTS Diane Zeigler has ju s t learned th at her excellent new album , Paint

unearthly drone. This Thursday, the Three w ill be join ed by hipsters

brush, charted at number one for

The Interior and The Magic Is Gone

the m onth of November on the for an

evening of p ed al-p u sh in g modern rock at Club Metronome.

SHELLH0USE (rock; 5th annual Christmas party), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC

Central Verm ont sin ger-son gw riter

lauded FOLKDJ In te rne t Listserv. W hile Zeigler m odestly notes, " It 's not th a t huge in the schem e of M ontpelier's

Mark LeGrand has

JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS (jazz vocals), J. Morgan's, 7 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE, Trinity Church, Montpelier, 8 p.m. NC.

grass), Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

JIM PAYNE & HOUSE OF PAYNE (funkjazz), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

Up, ge t som e serious sp in s by underground country DJs on the Freeform Am erican Roots Chart.

‘

soundBITE

9 p.m. NC.

THE NATURALS (r&b/swing), Bayside Pavilion, 8:30 p.m. $5.

LIVE M U SIC M O W S E R V IN G

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1 2 /2 o ,

Saturday Night 12/21,

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carry out: 864-0744 delivery: 865-3663

3 FOLD EVENT

featuring DJ ELIOT & DJ CHIA

IH U RSD AY JIM PAYNE’S

HOUSEOFPAYNE

A-DOG

$;.:d a k s t fM J A M B A N D [groove]

LATE NIGHT LOUNGE: 11 pm - 2 am

SATURDAY EARLY DINNER JAZZ: 6 - 9 pm

PAULASBELLJAZZ TRIO

s a U JE /E t

LATE NIGHT LOUNGE: 1 0 : 3 0 pm - 2 am

CONCENTRIC SUNDAY

w e d .1 E / E 5 W m cL a s E n

BRUNCH MENU ONLY 1 1 am-5 pm

SUNDAY BRUNCH!!!

JERRY

I R I S T IH A S !

WE N IG H T 8 6 4 ~ F)8

r<?

& i 9-ELUSE

B A R MENU! ib d a y -s a tu r d a y 159 Main St. Burlington

NOBBY REED PROJECT (electric blues),

SHAUNA ANTONIUC TRIO

R O SE N B E R G %‘ - [folk-rock covers!

i- IO p m

NO COVER

billy), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC.

L ADAM

CLOSED

BOB GAGNON If FRIENDS

REV. NATHAN BRADY CRAIN (drunka-

FRIDAY

t u e s .1 E / E 4

Appetizers Soups/Salads Grilled Fare & Sandwiches Fried Baskets

Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. CONCENTRIC (live electronica), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC, followed by PAUL ASBELL TRIO (jazz), 10 p.m. NC. HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE (rock/urban DJ;

EARLY FRIDAY JAZZ: 6 - 9 pm

THE FEED [grooveJ

Bombay Grab l PA. Vermont Smoked Porter

t h u .1 E / 1 9

f r i . 1 E /E O 5-8 FREE WIMGSI

.S a t u r d a y

Frostee), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

WEDNESDAY

THE K E N T

BETTER THAN BAR

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. CLUB MIXX (hip-hop/house; DJs Irie &

BurlingtonCity ArtsChildren'sScholarshipRod benefit

,VARlETY(citruS rockJ

tfcefUnetafefi

p.m. NC.

RETRONOME ('70s-'80s DJs), Club

Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

w e d .1 2 / 1 8

B re w e r y

Square, 10 p.m. NC.

SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Nectar's, 9:30

DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3.

V A L E N C IA

W lW it PUb

:: northern SMOKING GUN (rock), Kincade's,

Congrats!

Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC.

BARBAC0A, BLOWTORCH, DJ JASON COOLEY (surf noir, alt-rock), Red

DIAZ 8. RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b DJs),

ACOUSTIC PHENOMENON W/DOUG PERKINS & PATRICK ROSS (blue-

seen his latest effort, All Dressed

$15.

Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

:: central

th in g s," we're im pressed. Likewise,

NC.

DRED (drag king), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. BOB GAGNON & FRIENDS (jazz),

9 p.m. NC.

TALK-TALK

ers), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

THE FEED (groove), Valencia, 10 p.m.

3 p.m. NC.

d a t Earn c o m e r o f P ea rl S t. & S o . W in o o s k i B u r lin g to n

6 5 8 -8 9 7 8

TUESDAY

CLOSED OPEN TUES. THROUGH SAT 5 :3 0 - 2 :0 0 AM SUNDAY BRUNCH 11 am-5 pm

THE W AITING ROOM -j

-o 2>

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■ '

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•.-'"

1- _ ,7 ^ %%t

;: 7 7 : ^ t

SEVEN DAYS I december 18-25, 2008 I music 15B

PURE POP RECORDS, BURLINGTON

BUCH SPIELER MUSIC, MONTPELIER

EXILE ON MAIN STREET, BARRE

VERMONT BOOKSHOP, MIDDLEBURY

PEACOCK MUSIC, PLATTSBURGH

1. Phish — Round Room 2. Norah Jones — Come Away With Me 3. The Roots — Phrenology 4. Beck — Sea Change 5. David Gray — New Day At Midnight 6. Alison Krauss & Union Station — Live 7. Bob Dylan — Live 1975 (The Bootleg Series Volume 5)

1. Norah Jones — Come Away

1. Shania Twain — Up! 2. Tim McGraw — Tim McGraw

1. Eva Cassidy — Imagine 2. Phish — Round Room

and the Dancehall Doctors 3. Norah Jones — Come Away With Me 4. System Of A Down — Steal This Album! 5. Dixie Chicks — Home 6. Rolling Stones — Forty Licks 7. Shania Twain — Come On Over 8. George Harrison — Brain washed 9. Aaron Tippin — Stars and Stripes 10. Elton John — Greatest Hits 1970-2002

3. Elisabeth Von Trapp —

1. SGS — I f I Could Have Something For Christmas 2. Phish — Round Room 3. Various Artists — 8 Mile Soundtrack 4. System Of A Down — Steal This Album! 5. Dixie Chicks — Home 6. Shania Twain — Up! 7. Elvis Presley — Elvis 30 ffl Hits 8. Norah Jones — Come Away With Me 9. Eminem — The Eminem Show 10. Rod Stewart — It Had to Be You... The Great American Songbook

With Me 2. Phish — Round Room 3. Bob Dylan — Live 1975 (The Bootleg Series Volume 5) 4. Coco Kallis & Paul Miller —

Through All These Years 5. Vince Guaraldi Trio — A

Charlie Brown Christmas: The Original Soundtrack Recording of the CBS Television Special 6. Dixie Chicks — Home 7. Paul McCartney — Back in the US: Live 2002

8. Leo Kottke & Mike Gordon —

Clone 9. Dixie Chicks — Home 10. Talib Kweli — Quality

8. Tony Bennett & k.d. lang —

What a Wonderful World 9. Alison Krauss & Union Station — Live 10. Miles Davis — Kind of Blue

Christmas Song 4. Joan Baez — Noel 5. Tony Bennett & k.d. lang —

What a Wonderful World 6. Mychael Danna (Composer) -

Monsoon Wedding Soundtrack 7. Norah Jones — Come Away With Me 8. Josh Groban — Josh Groban 9. The Logger & The Fellers — Golddiggers Beware 10. The Dave Brubeck Quartet -

Time Out

C LL H 3

m e t R o n o m e WEDNESDAY D ECEM BER 18

FATTY-B DJ HEDFONZ U P JUMP IRE BOOGIE 25YEARS OF HIP-HOP m

a m

if T

MAGIC IS GONE KAL0H : R)R 1M E m

i w

FRIDAY DECEMBER

20 * HOLIDAY PARTY $5

THE LESTONS ROCK N ROLL SHERPA THE SCHEISTERS

BUCKS OFF DOOR WITH CANNED GOODS DONATION

MONDAYDECEMBER 23

BELIEVE THE HYPE* A CHRISTMAS

ROCK OPERA NOT TO MISS. WITH

THE DIRTY BLONDES

T O P S E L L E R S AT LO C A L IN D E P E N D E N T R E C O R D S T O R E S . DATE: S U N D A Y 1 2 /0 8 -S A T U R D A Y 1 2 / 1 4

: M t J * K FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE :

TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES, RICK & THE RAMBLERS (blues/soul, country-rock; benefit for Burlington

TUESDAY D ECEM BER 24

KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny 0's,

:: northern

9 p.m. NC.

Food Shelf), Higher Ground, 9 p.m.

:: c h a m p i a i n v a lle y

$6/5. AA

MADD MIXX (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m.

CYLINDER (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

PARR0THEAD PARTY W/JIMMY N., Banana Winds Cafe 8. Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

THE GRAVELIN BROS, (rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from

NC.

DAN PARKS 8. THE BLAME (rock),

DJ WAYNE'S WORLD OF MUSIC (eclec tic; Christmas party), Kincade's, 8 p.m. NC. THE COUNCIL (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC.

ce n tra l p.m. NC.

JAMES KINNE (solo acoustic rock). Purple Moon Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

DJ CRAIG MITCHELL

MONEY SHOT (modern rock). Pickle Barrel, 10 p.m. $8.

Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

DJ MESZENJAH (roots-reggae/dance-

:: burlington a r e a

hall), Lion's Den Pub, 10 p.m. NC. Brewski, 9 p.m. NC.

p.m. $4.

presents

DJ EDDIE BOOM TUESDAY D ECEM BER

31 * OPEN TILL 3am*

LUIS CALDERIN PRESENTS

THE CARNIVAL

OLD TIME SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 1 p.m. NC, followed by REGGAE VERMONT W/SUPERBIRDMAN,

DJ CHEWBACCA (hip-hop), The

PRE X-MAS BASH BTOWN SOUND

S U N . 22

GIVEN GROOVE (funk-rock),

LEON TUBBS (jazz), Charlie 0's, 9:30

LIVE MUSIC, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9

3 p.m. NC.

southern

9 p.m. NC.

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

VOICE (hip-hop/drums 'n' bass). Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

S IN G L E T R A C K S

CHRISTMAS PARTY W/JUMPIN' JIM BRANCA (blues), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. Former Bu rtin gton ian s

The H alogens have been busy. Now livin g in B oston

NC. Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

Resignation EP. Front man Ja so n Dunn reports th at several major labels have shown interest in the a n glo p h ilic p o p s t e r s . . . Former

TUESDAY JANUARY 7

SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), Club

and signed to the UK im print Sim ba Recordings, the alt-rockers have ju st released their late st disc, The

FREESTYLE (hip-hop/r&b), Rasputin's,

viperH ouse trum peter Brian Boyes and his world-jazz group Tala w ill celebrate their new

10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+

CD, Dances and Rites, w ith a show at the FlynnSpace on January 4.

TEEN NITE W/DJ IRIE (hip-hop/r&b/ reggae), Millennium Nightclub, 8 p.m. $10. Ages 13-19.

SOUN

S U N .2 2 »

BOOM WITH CR A IG M ITCH ELL 111

TURKEYBOUILLONMAFIA WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

16B

N D E C E M B E R 2 3 R D T H E D IR T Y B L O N D E S A R E P I

T T R T

FRIDAY JANUARY 10

BURLINGTON ANTI WAR COALITION BENIFIT with TAM M Y F L E T C H E R and ST E P H T A P IS

N IG H T-CLU B

Sunday Dec.22

VIRGINIA COALITION W/GRUVIS MALT 18+ FREE WITH

COLLEGE ID

Thursday 1an.2

T H E W A IL E R S 18+

THURSDAY JANUARY 16

WED 12/18

SEVENDAYSAWEEKNOCOVER

jE o H y o U ,, R. MACKSUDESHOW FRI12/20

KM.

SAT 12/21

S K I I M N E E J ’S 18+

DJ JASoN cooLEY SUN 12/22

VolcE

9 P.M.

MON 12/23

V o fct

9 P.M.

TUE12/24

WHIP

9p.M.

REGGAE

Tickets available online or charge by phone

T u e s d a y D e c . 31 7p M - Appetizers 8-io p M - T B a f f c t M id n it e C h a m p a gn e T oast

At t&c Door; $25 p rice in cla d e s 1st M a rg a rita ! Best B B Q Saace in Town! Serving Dinner Mon-Sat x+nicfi Fri f* Sat

1 La>v§on

T an e

(Behind Bennington Potters)

802.d22.3035

Killington Road, Killinoton ww.picklcbarrclnishtclub.com

A d v an ce T ic k e ts: $ 2 0

ORNAMENT-MAKING4-8PM

Wednesday Jan.29 21+

hip-hop

H19 Town Hall .j infusion rock

,s|||

F20 The Mighty % Loons S\

136

CHURCH STREET • BURLINGTON

8 5 9 -8 9 0 9 i3ouojiNoaoiavu3HiAvidOiaAVHisnrj.Hoin3MSi

862- 6900/ 864- F 00 D Deli-very

DJ SCO TTHARDK FEBRUARY SATURDAY

EARLY SHOW

JIM WEIDER BAND GUITARIST FROM THE BAND 1985-2000

rock

S21 Sand Blizzard rock-n-roll

322 Christmas Party w / J u m p i n ' J im B r a n c a

18+

MARSHALL TUCKER BAND

9 P.M.

BLoWToRcH

Wednesday Jan.29

AUTHORITY ZERO W/GOB

BARBAcoA

y e a r

W18 F*ve Day 4 0

PARTY!

STARLltE

18+

Wed6Thu jan.15616

m hm h n e w

Wed6Thu Jan .869

JULY FOR KINGS

DJ DAVE RALPH

REAL PATRIO TIC

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M23 N ew Young Bands T24 Dave Keller Blues Band W25 Knobby Reed Project DOWNTOWN BURLNGTON

658-4771

EVERY SATURDAY

REIRONOME 70s 80s DANCE PARTY

EVERY SUNDAY

SUNDAY NIGHT MASS

HOUSE- 1BHN0 - TRANCE- DRUMhi BASS- BREAKBEATS

INFO: 865-4563 DOORSOPENAT9=00UNLESS NOTED EARLYSHOW SDOORSAT700 HCKETSFORNOTE) SHOWAVAILABLEAT FLYNN BOX OFFICE 802-85-FLYNN WWW.FLYNNCENTER.COM PURE POP

MUSIC TILL TWO AM

(a] i b b m a i n

* 6 8 .l.decemhei.18-25,.2002. 1 SEVENDAYS. „

S U N .2 2 «

15B

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from

T l JF

3 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

:: burlington a r e a

:: northern

LINK UP (reggae DJs), Red Square, 9

CARIBBEAN DANCE PARTY,

9 p.m. NC.

:: southern

DJ CRAIG MITCHELL (techno/house),

VIRGINIA COALITION, GRUVIS MALT

Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

(rock), Pickle Barrel, 10 p.m. $8.

v ocalist

or calls for

on a live albu m ? Bu rlin gto n

M O N .2

:: central

:: burlington a r e a

OPEN MIKE, Purple Moon Pub, 8:30 p.m. NC. AA

OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Ri R3 Irish Pub, 9:30 p.m.

D enise W hittier probably w on't be

:: northern

NC.

PAUL DOUSE/MARK ABAIR/PHILD0 PHIL (acoustic trio), Sami's Harmony

GRIPPO FUNK BAND, Red Square,

rocking any Skynyrd, but she is in v itin g the

10 p.m. NC.

Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

NEW MUSIC MONDAY, Nectar's, 8 p.m.

public to tw o recording se ssio n s for an u pcom

ACOUSTIC OPEN MIKE W/THE HARDLUCK KID, Kacey's, 8:30 p.m. NC.

NC.

DIRTY BLONDES PRESENT "BELIEVE THE HYPE" (holiday rock opera),

in g live CD. On Decem ber 28, at 7 and 9 p.m.,

Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC.

the Bu rlin gton chanteuse w ill be ta p in g per

TEEN NITE W/DJ IRIE (hip-hop/r&b/

reggae), Millennium Nightclub,

form ances of her recent one-w om an cabaret,

:: burlington a r e a

DJ), The Monkey House, 9 p.m. NC.

W hittier w ill be join ed o n stage by m usical

KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard),

:: northern

Tom Cleary, b a ssist Rick

135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

NOBBY REED PROJECT (electric

OPEN MIKE, Sami's Harmony Pub, Preston, p ercussionist Brian Joh n so n and director

engineered by folks from

blues), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

7 p.m. NC.

DJ RHINO (hip-hop/reggae/r&b),

JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow!

Bill Reed. The whole shebang w ill be

E D .2 5

M ER R Y CHRISTM AS!

p.m. $10. Ages 13-19.

HONKY-TONK TRAILER TRASH W/BRETT HUGHES (classic country

Story Songs , at B u rlin gto n 's FlynnSpace.

dire ctor/p ian ist

LIVE DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. 18+ 0X0N0ISE (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JAMES O'HALLORAN (flamenco gui tar), The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC.

F L Y N N CO M ES A L I V E :: "Freebird" —

p.m. NC.

DAVE KELLER BAND (blues), Nectar's,

Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

Want to hear your own handclaps —

9 4

Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $7/NC. 18+

Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban

Chuck Eller Studios.

DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3

For more info, call 863-5966 or v isit

p.m. NC.

www.flynncenter.org.

AUDIO

Loudspeakers by: Soliloquy Acoustic Energy Omega Wharfedale

■

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re vie w th i SYD,

W EEKD A YS , W EEK K N EE S

(Self-released, CD) Syd is a 21-year-old sin ger-son gw rite r w ith a pow erful set of pipes. In his first proper release, Week Days, Week Knees, the B u rlin gto n native perfects his brand o f passionate, se n sitive -gu y folk-rock. M uch like fellow e x -local Gregory D ou glass, Syd w rites deceptively sim ple so n g s th a t ride on his su rp risin gly soulful, res

Jake Anuercuig Taybr Ai tuertfing i’atti Andy Greene Steve Light Paul Miller

Ji:n DiSabito Gene White, Jr.

o n an t voice. The disc's 10 tunes sw in g from the ju m p y pop o f "P ic k in g U p " to tear-jerkers like "M e x ico ." On m ost o f the cuts, Syd is jo in e d by drummer Ja so n Gardner and b a ssist Tom Bianchi, an im pressive strin g o f lo st-lov e songs, and it makes Week Days,

THE BLUEGRASS GOSPEL PROJECT

Week Knees a solid album . However, there's only so much spirited

(Self-released, CD)

w ho add som e needed backbone to the m aterial. Syd has penned

m opin g one can take, and th in g s ge t a little sticky-sw eet after a while. Still, Syd is a form idable yo u n g tale n t on the m usic circuit.

The Blu egrass Gospel Project first b egan as a tw in kle in B u rlin gto n m usician Gene W hite Jr.'s eye

This New Yearis Eve, he opens for D o u glass at 3 and 10 p.m. at

in early 2001, fo llo w in g a disc u ssio n w ith First N igh t's p ro gram m in g director Jim m y Sw ift. The

B u rlin gto n 's College Street C on gregatio n al Church.

c h at centered around step s th a t m igh t be taken to replace the p opular b u t new ly defunct blue

ETHAN COVEY

grass band Breakaw ay (W hite w as the b an d's fiddler) in the next year's First N ig h t lineup. After som e hard th o u gh t, and a se ssio n or tw o liste n in g to v in ta ge S tan le y Brothers g o sp e l recordings, W hite had a m u sical epiphany. He contacted his friend Taylor Arm erding, a co-fou n der o f the

NICK COWLES,

OLD OUTLAW S

popular New England b lu egrass band Northern Lights, and drafted Breakaw ay ex-bandm ates Paul

(Self-released, CD)

M iller and Andy Greene, P lattsb urgh banjo ace Steve Light, cou n try-m usic veteran Jim D iSab ito

Nick Cowles, the owner and operator o f Shelburne Orchards, has

W hite's the only n o n -v o ca list —

and prize-w in nin g Duxbury sin ger-son gw rite r Patti Casey. T hat's six to p -n o tc h s in g in g voices —

been better known for his Ginger Jack ap ple-echinacea to n ic than

and superlative b lu egrass in strum e n talists.

After m onths o f rehearsals and m iles o f road trips, the band, dubbed the First N igh t Bluegrass

for his s in g in g and so n g w ritin g prowess, but th a t could soon

Gospel Project, debuted at the Flynn Center Decem ber 31, 2001, and knocked the so cks o ff blue

change. W ith a ragge dy sin g in g voice and perform ing style th at's

grass fans and everyone else. Thankfully, the band is s t ill g o in g strong; they've played a number

rem iniscent of Pete Stam p fel and Jerry Je ff Walker, Cow les has

o f venues in Verm ont and New H am pshire over the p ast year and w ill perform once a g a in th is

ju s t released a self-produced CD entitled Old Outlaws, w hich c o n

year for First N igh t B u rlin gton .

ta in s 11 o rig in a l com position s. The recording and m astering were Starksboro —

The Project's first CD, released a few m onths ago, is a live recording o f th a t m aiden voyage at the Flynn. For th ose o f us w ho weren't lucky enou gh to attend on t h a t m a gic a l night, the disc

done at Horace W illiam s Jr.'s Little Castle stud io in the w ilds of

provides a sense o f the excitem ent th a t v ocal and in stru m e n tal excellence can bring to live

the birthplace o f m any lo cal acou stic recordings.

Cowles som etim es gets backup by fam ily members and friends,

a cou stic music. The 12 selection s on the recording, released on W hite 's hom egrow n V ital Records

and som etim es by the M eat Packers, who can lay down a solid

label, range from o ld -tim e y classics ("W ill There Be An y Stars in My Crow n," "D o w n in the Valley

country or b luegrass groove when needed. On a go od number of

to Pray") to c lassy o rigin a ls w ritten by Greene and Arm erding. I t seem s o nly righ t th a t religious

so n gs, Cowles effectively acco m panie s him self on gu ita r or m an

so n g s by both Carter and Ralph S tan le y are included on th is recording, as it w as Stan le y's w hite-

dolin, which works ju s t fine. I t is also a pleasure to hear A d dison

go sp e l trad ition th a t inspired W hite in the first place. The arrangem ents and perform ances are im peccable. Except for the audience's stran ge in s is

County blues harp m aster Mark LaVoie sa ilin g on a cut or two.

tence on ap p lau d in g in the m iddle o f so n g s fo llo w in g m any o f the in stru m e n tal breaks, the clari

Som e o f the gem s on Old Outlaws are the title track and two other gentle ballads, "W altzin g M a tild a " and "Cou ntry Sin ge r," as

ty and de fin ition o f the recorded soun d giv e s no h in t th a t the theate r w as fu ll to capacity. A ll

w ell as a quirky love so n g ab o u t b akin g apple pies for your sw eet

the v ocals —

ie, entitled, aptly enou gh, "The Pie S o n g ."

ever hear on th is or any other stage.

are som e o f the best you'll

For th is year's First N igh t show, the Blu egrass G ospel Project w ill return to the Flynn

B u y th e albu m , b u t keep yo u r eye o u t fo r a live p erfo rm an ce —

particularly the leads by Arm erding, M iller and Casey —

M ainstage. Se ts w ill also feature Coco Kallis, M iller's sw eetheart and lead v o c a list for years in the

s o m e th in g t e lls me t h a t N ick Cow les & the

popular Verm ont country com bo Coco & the Lonesom e Road Band. I t prom ises to be a grand

M e atp ac ke rs w ould be q u ite a trip in p erson!

ROBERT RESNIK

e ven ing o f m em orable music.

ROBERT RESNIK

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BACARDI.

< c l a s s e s > are written by Je ss Campisi. Class listings are $15 per week or $50 for four weeks. All class listings must be pre-paid and are subject to editing for space and style. Send info with check or complete credit card information, including exact name on card, to: Classes, SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164.

acting

table from seasonal flowers, a candle and glass

VDA DANCESPORT TEAM: Training sessions in

ACTING I: Thursdays, January 30 through May 8,

balls or pine cones.

Ballroom and Latin for Junior through Senior

Gingerbread House, Sundays, December 22, 10

DanceSport athletes. Vermont DanceSport Academy, Mann Hall, Trinity College campus,

a.m. - noon or 3-5 p.m. NECI Commons,

6:15-9 p.m. CCV, Burlington. Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422. This class is an intro duction to the theoretical and practical principles of the craft of acting. Three-credit class.

PAINTING CERAMICS: Ongoing classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundamentals of paint ing ceramics to create gifts and other treasures.

ACTING W ORKSHOP: HOLLYWOOD COM ES TO VERMONT: December 26, 27, 28 8, 29. Three 30-hour workshops: High School, Middle

dance

School, Grades 3-5. The Old Lantern, Charlotte.

BALLROOM & LATIN DANCE LESSONS: Ongoing

$200. Pre-register, 482-2076. Rebecca Harrell, star of Prancer, A Piece of Eden, Suspended Animation, Man of the Year, Saint Sinner and numerous television and stage appearances will be here with her staff of professional Hollywood actors to share their insights into making stage and screen acting a career. Workshops will end with a video-taped performance in front of a live audience.

private and group lessons available. Vermont DanceSport Academy, Mann Hall, Trinity College campus, Burlington. $8-15/class. Intro through advanced. Registration, 8467236 or www.vermontdancesportacademy.com. Learn the basics or refine your skills at Burlington's premier ballroom location. BODY AW ARENESS: Wednesdays, January 29 through May 7, 3-5:45 p.m. CCV, Burlington.

FLYNNARTS ACTING: Spring semester beginning

Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422.

January 20. For more info on these or other

This class develops the posture and movement of

FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4500 or

the body through examination and a variety of

visit www.flynncenter.org. Classes include: Creative Drama, Play Makers, Actor's Tools, Actor's Process, Improv Ensemble, Beginning Acting & Improv, Acting Lab, Playreading in the Gallery, Stage Combat and Weekend Workshops. FLYNNARTS ACTING W ORKSHO P W ITH H O LLAN -

body awareness techniques. Three-credit class. CVU DANCE CLASSES: Four- and five-week cours es. Beginning Line Dancing: Tuesdays begin ning January 14, 6:30-7:30 p.m. $40, $35/students. Beginning Salsa & Latin Ballroom: Wednesdays, beginning January 15, 6-7:10 p.m.

C H R IST M A S IS FOR K ID S: Parent-Child Hands-On

Church Street Marketplace, Burlington. $22.50.

Burlington. Prices vary. Registration, 846-7236

or www.vermontdancesportacademy.com. Learn the art and sport of ballroom dancing and

will build and decorate a gingerbread house to take home.

develop your skills for beginner through champi onship competition levels.

drumming B E G IN N IN G CONGA & DJEMBE: Conga, 5:30-7:00 p.m. Djembe, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Taiko Studio, 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. $12. Call for location. Info, 658-0658. Stuart Paton makes instru ments available in this upbeat drumming class. B E G IN N IN G TAIKO: Six-week sessions beginning Monday, January 6: Kids' Beginner Class, 3:30 p.m. $42. Adult Beginner Class, 5:30 p.m. $48. Adult Intermediate Class, 7 p.m. $48. Six-week session beginning Tuesday, January 14: Kids and Families Beginner Class, 4:305:30 p.m. $42/kids, $48/adults. Six-week ses sion beginning Thursday, January 9: Adult Beginner Class, 5:30-7 p.m. $48. Taiko Studio, 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Stuart Paton, 6580658, paton@sover.net or Ed Leclair, 4255520, edaiko@ aol.com , or Harry Grabenstein,

CLAY CLASSES: Various classes beginning Tues day, January 7. Bristol Clay Studio, Bristol. For dates, times, and prices, visit www.bristolrec. org, or call Bristol Recreation Department at 453-5885, or Marcy at the clay studio at 4537684. Classes include: After School Clay, grades 1-3; After School Clay, grades 4-6; Teen Clay, grades 7-12; Home School Clay, grades 1-12; Pre-School/Kindergarten Clay, ages 3-5. D RAW IN G , P A IN T IN G , COLLAGE & SCULPTURE: Be ginning January 14. Ages 9-12, Tuesdays, 3-5 p.m.; Ages 5-8, Fridays, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. This class encourages children to stretch their im aginations and get creative using fun art media. Every student chooses his or her favorite medium for a special project. FLYNNARTS FREE SATURDAY SA M PLER FOR C H ILD R E N : Grades 2-8, Saturday, January 11. FlynnArts Studios, Burlington. Free. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.fl.ynn

2 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $30. For more

$40, $30/students. Swing Dance: Wednesdays, beginning 7:15-8:30 p.m. $40, $30/students.

info on this event or other FlynnArts classes

Hip-Hop Dance Class: Tuesdays beginning

for all ages, call 652-4500 or visit www. flynncenter.org. Led by Quick Lime performer

January 14, 4-5 p.m. $50, $35/students. Hip-

Van Hut, the workshop will investigate the tech

January 14, 5:10-6:10 p.m. $50, $35/students.

fiber & surface design

January 20. For more info on FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4500 or visit www.

niques and philosophies of Hollandia's signature

CVU High School, Hinesburg. Pre-register, limit

DECORATIVE PAIN TIN G W ITH G IN N Y JOINER:

flynncenter.org. Includes classes for all ages in

style by exploring the fusion of music and psy chological characterization; image and sound;

ed class size, 482-7194 or eddie@cvuhs.org.,

Beginning January 7, Tuesdays, 12-2:30 p.m.

www.cvuhs.org. CVU offers fun and easy dance classes for all ages and levels.

Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Transform a small piece of furniture or

D IA THEATER: Saturday, January 18, 11 a.m. -

construction and deconstruction of form; and the influence of live musicians on theater pieces.

Hop II, The Next Steps: Tuesdays, beginning

FLYNNARTS DANCE: Spring semester begins

878-5619. Experience the power of Taiko-style drumming.

center.org. Take a free theater or dance class. Faculty will be on site to answer questions. FLYNNARTS S P R IN G SEMESTER: Beginning

a wood object with surface-design painting.

music, dance and theater, and vacation camps in February and ApriL K ID S CLAY C LA SSES: For ages 6-12, Thursdays, January 9 through February 6, or February 13 through March 13, 4-6 p.m. Vermont Clay

January 20. For more info on FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.

Students will complete a finished painted piece such as a box, stool, or small table. The class will

flynncenter.org. Classes include: Creative

also tour the Shelburne Museum's collection of

Studio (VCS), Waterbury Center. Call 244-1126 or info@ verm ontclaystudio.org. VCS is a non

Constructed Self," Saturday, January 25 and

Movement, Dance Makers, Modem Dance,

Sunday, January 26, 12:30-4:30 p.m. Flynn

Children's Ballet, Ballet for Ice Skaters, Hip-Hop and masterclasses.

painted furniture for background and inspiration. FREE W EAV IN G DAY: Saturday, January 11, 10

traveling claymobile for birthday parties, great

W EEKEND W ORKSH O P FOR W RIT E RS & PER FORMERS W ITH JA N IC E PERRY: 'The

Center, Burlington. $80. For adults, lim it 15.

a.m. - 3 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Free. Pre-register, 985-3648. Artist Shari McMahon will navigate students

profit community arts center also featuring a shopping, exhibits, studio rental and adult ceramics classes.

event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages,

FUNDAMENTALS OF JA ZZ DANCE: Mondays, January 27 through May 5, 6:15-9 p.m. CCV,

call 652-4500 or visit www.flynncenter. org.

Burlington. Registration begins January 6.

through the steps involved in weaving cloth

M A K IN G POTS, SCULPTURES 8. TOYS OF AN CIEN T CULTURES: Ages 9-12, Fridays, beginning

Join internationally acclaimed performer and

Info, 865-4422. This class is an introduction to

using various types of looms. Beginning in

January 17, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

Fullbright theater specialist Janice Perry at this

jazz dance techniques, aesthetics and theory.

February, we will offer weaving studio introduc

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Build your

Pre-registration required. For more info on this

page-to-stage workshop for writers and perform ers. This workshop expands writing and perfor

LEARN TO DANCE: Four-week Rhythm dance classes, beginning Monday, January 6.

mance skills through the creation and transfor

Beginning Rhythm: Rumba/Cha Cha/Merengue,

mation of original, autobiographically-based

7 p.m. Intermediate Rhythm: Rumba/Cha Cha/

text, including monologue, dialogue, and ensemble work.

Bolero, 8 p.m. Four-week Smooth dance class es, beginning Tuesday, January 7. Beginning

bartending PROFESSIONAL T R A IN IN G : Day, evening and weekend courses. Various locations. Info, 8884DRINKS or bartendingschool.com. Get certified to make a mean martini, margarita, manhattan or mai tai.

business START UP: Women's Sm all Business Program, February 6 through May 18. Burlington. $1250, with grants available. Call now for application and interview times, 846-7338. Learn valuable business skills as you write a business plan.

Smooth: Waltz/Foxtrot/Tango, 7 p.m. Intermediate Smooth: Waltz/Foxtrot/ Tango, 8 p.m. Champlain Club, 20 Crowley St., Burlington. $40/person/class, no partner required. Info, 802-598-6757 or www.FirstStep Dance.com. Extend your dancing into new areas or begin learning to dance with nationally certified-dance instructor Kevin Laddison. M ODERN D A N C E/IM P R O V CLASSES: Ongoing Mondays, 7 p.m. Church 8< Maple Gallery, Burlington. $60/six-week session, $12/class or two-for-one if you bring a new participant. Info, 985-8261. Marcela Pino shows beginner and intermediate dancers how to combine mod ern-dance technique and improvisation. M OVEMENT LAB H O LID AY SE SSIO N W ITH SA RA H

childbirth

M cM AHO N: December 21, 28, January 4, 18,

H Y PN O BIRT H IN G : Classes now forming for 10-

$60. For more info on this event or other

11 a.m. -1 2 :3 0 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington.

hour series. Four-week evening series or eight-

FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or

week lunchtime series. Burlington. $175. To

visit www.flynncenter.org. A unique class for

experienced movers/dancers who wish to deepen

hypnosis and summon your natural birthing instincts.

their knowledge of personal movement patterns

cooking N ECI CLASSES: December 21: Holiday Sugar Works (morning). Ethnic Holiday Desserts (afternoon). NECI Commons, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington. $22.50. Register, 863-5150, ext. 38. Culinary experts explore new ways to be artistic in the kitchen.

craft H O LID AY FLORAL ARRAN G EM EN T: December 21, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Garden Cuts, 1096 Fisher Pond

and develop and refine their individual creative expression. SA L SA DAN CIN G : New four-week session in Cuban-style Salsa begins Thursday, January 9. Three levels to choose from. Monthly practice sessions. Champlain Club, Burlington. No part ner necessary. $35/person/4-week group ses sion, $10/class. Info, 864-7953 or www.

tion and open studio.

fine arts D RAW IN G FROM THE MODEL - UNINSTRUCTED: Eight weeks beginning January 9, Thursdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Bring your pencils, charcoal, conte crayons or paints and work from the model to practice your hand-andeye fusion. Gesture, short and long poses, as the group wishes. Call to register for the series or share your card with a fellow artist if you cannot make it to each session. FIGURE A N D PORTRAIT D RAW IN G: Wednesday evening classes beginning January 8. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Learn to draw the human figure from a live model using materials such as pencils, conte crayon, charcoal and color pastels. Individual instruction and critique will facilitate each student's progress. Materials, except for paper, are included. O IL /A C R Y L IC PA IN TIN G : Advanced Level I class, Tuesday afternoons, beginning January 7. 985-3648. Emphasis will be placed on the painting process, and color mixing and seeing skills will be honed. This class will also include group critiques, drawing and creativity exercises. WATERCOLOR: Classes for all levels beginning January 8. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Whether you're a begin ner or wanting to further explore this medium, you will benefit from these classes. Color experi ments, dry brush, wet-on-wet techniques, glazes, washes and more will be covered.

kids B U IL D N OAH'S A R K W ITH CLAY: For ages 5-8,

TABLEW ARE FOR K ID S (IN T ER M ED IA T E POT TERY): For ages 9-12, Wednesdays, beginning January 15, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Use the pot ter's wheel and hand-building to make a variety of useful objects, such as candy dishes, mugs with handles and piggy banks. Students will also practice trimming, glazing and painting their work. T H E VERY H U N G R Y C ATER PILLAR ' A N D T H E V ERY Q U IET CRICKET': Parent-Child Workshop for ages 4-6, January 5, 12-1 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $10/one child with adult. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Enrich your child's under standing and enjoyment of this family matinee by taking this fun, interactive workshop. Join us after the show to meet the cast and see how they worked their magic.

language E N G L IS H A S A SECOND LANGUAGE: Ongoing, Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m. and Sundays, beginning November 10, noon-2 p.m. Fletcher Free Library, 235 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, Colleen Wright, 802-865-7225. Classes will focus on reading, writing, speaking, listening and grammar. They are open for all who want to learn and improve their English, as well as ESL: Ongoing sm all group classes, beginners to intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloane Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info,

Mondays, beginning January 13, 3-5 p.m.

324-8384. Improve your listening, speaking,

Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info,

reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

985-3648. Explore the continents and build a

Rd., St. Albans. $28. Limited class size, pre

HollywoodStyleSwing.com. Dancer Brandy

big boat filled with animals from around the

Anderson teaches students how to swing.

world. Working with d a y will stimulate a child's

Create a lovely, fresh flower design for your

pit-fired, letting the fire and smoke create the finish.

explore American culture and history.

for the cold Vermont winter.

entire session. Info, 862-9033 or www.

come up with your own idea! The pieces will be

Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info,

energyinaction.com/vermontsalsadance company. Enjoy hot salsa dancing as a remedy S W IN G DAN CE LESSON S: Six-week session begins Sunday, January 5, 5-6 p.m. $50/person for

own ancient board game or invent a new one. Create a lucky charm, an "ancient" toy, or

creativity in a fun and encouraging environment.

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002

L IS T Y O U R C L A S S

call: 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 e m a il: c la s s e s @ s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, begin

M ORE M U S IC C LA SSES AT CCV: All classes start

I classes 19B

fa x: 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5

ner to advanced, all ages. Middlebury area.

the last week of January. CCV, Burlington.

at a warm-water vacation destination this win ter. Results in an internationally recognized,

Prices vary. Info, 545-2676. Immerse yourself in

Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-

lifetime certification. Call Waterfront Diving

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. A special

Italian to prepare for a trip abroad or to better

4422. Classes include: Music Fundamentals,

enjoy the country's music, art and cuisine.

Chorus, Music Theory I, Piano I, Guitar I,

Center at 802-865-2771 for more info or to register.

weekend intensive on how to turn wood round. Each student will start with a block o f wood

martial arts A IK ID O OF C H A M P L A IN VALLEY: Introductory classes begin on January 7 and January 14, 5:30 p.m. Adults: Monday through Thursday, 5:30-6:30 p.m. and 6:45-7:45 p.m.; Wednes days, noon-1 p.m.; Fridays, 5:30-7 p.m.; Saturdays, 10-11:45 p.m. Children: Tuesdays, 4-5 p.m.; Saturdays, 10-11:45 a.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 257 Pine St., Burlington. Info, 951-8900 or www.aikidovt.org. This tradi tional Japanese martial art emphasizes circular, flowing movements, joint locks and throwing techniques. A R N IS: Saturdays, 11:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m. Martial Way Self-Defense Center, 25 Raymond Rd., Colchester. First class free. Info,

Guitar II, and Music Ensemble: Jazz and Gospel Choir. Music classes cover a variety of musical styles including jazz, rock, pop, traditional and world music.

self-defense B R A Z IL IA N J IU -J IT S U A N D C A R D IO B O X IN G :

classes. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Learn the basic funda

FREE PILATES REFORMER CLASS: Introductory

Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington.

mentals of woodworking by creating a small,

class only, Mondays, 5:30 p.m. and Saturdays,

Prices vary. Info, 660-4072. Escape fear with

handsome table or continue improving your

10:30 a.m. Shelburne Athletic Club, 4068

an integrated self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

craftsmanship and design in an intermediate or advanced class.

Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Info, 985-2229 or www.shelburneathletic.com. Utilize a variety of specifically designed apparatus to promote the ultimate Pilates w orkout

pottery ADULT CLAY CLASSES: Various classes beginning Monday, January 20. Bristol Clay Studio,

support groups See lis t in g s in the W ELLN ESS DIRECTORY in the c lassifie d s, se ction B.

fluid movements of the escrima stick with grace ful and dynamic footwork.

www.bristolrec.org, or call Bristol Recreation

THE SO UL'S JO URN EY THROUGH TIM E: Family of

relaxation, centerline and efficiency. T RAD ITIO N AL C H IN E SE KUNG FU: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 8-9 p.m., Saturdays, 10-11:30 a.m., Sundays, 10-11:30 a.m. The Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. 512/class or $35/m onth for

Origin to Self-Realization: Saturday, February 1,

Department at 453-5885, or Marcy at the clay studio at 453-7684. Classes include: Ladies

8 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Capitol Plaza, 100 State

Night Out, ages 18+; Introduction to Clay, grades 7 - adult; Introduction to Wheel, grades

S t , Montpelier. 5100/pre-register by January 15, 5115/register after January 15. David

7 - adult; Clay Explorations for Seniors; HandBuilding for Teens, ages 12-19.

Pellegrino, licensed mental health counselor,

CVU CLAY CLASSES: Five-week courses. Pottery for All Levels: Wednesdays, beginning January 15, 3:30-5:30 p.m. or 6:30-8:30 p.m. S60. Sculpture: Tuesdays beginning January 14, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 565. Batik on Silk: Wednes days, 6-8 p.m. 560. CVU High School,

457-3263 or Robert Reimondi, licensed psy chologist-master, 223-3572. Day-long educational'experience for those of any religion or spiritual tradition who wish to further integrate their personal psychology with their spirituality. Designed to assist one in examining one's life history and personal habits in relation to one's

unlimited classes that month. Info, 864-7778.

Hinesburg. Pre-register, limited class size, 482-

spiritual practice and developm ent The go al of

Xing Yi Chuan is a traditional Chinese internal

7194 or eddie@ cvuhs.org., www.cvuhs.org.

the day is a renewed understanding of ourselves

kung fu system and an effective form of selfcultivation. >■ *: • ■

CVU offers these, as well as other clay classes for students of all levels. -

and the ways in which we can practice our spiri tuality.

W IN G CHUN KUNG FU: Fridays, 6 p.m. Martial

POTTERY C U S S E S W ITH OPEN STUDIO: In-depth

Way Self-Defense Center, 25 Raymond Rd., Colchester. First class free. Info, 893-8893.

morning and evening classes for all skill levels beginning January 7. Shelburne Craft School,

This simple and practical martial-art form was

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Introduce

created by a woman and requires no special strength or size.

yourself to the fundamentals of the potter's wheel or further your understanding of creating utilitari an pottery, focusing on high-temperature

meditation MASTERY A N D MEDITATION CLASS: First and third Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. Study the teachings of Indian Sufi Master Inayat Khan. Focus on accomplish ment and success in your life and interfaith prayer for world peace. WEEKLY MEDITATION A N D D ISC U SS IO N : Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books & Gifts, Burlington. $5, donations welcomed. Info, 660-8060. Allow your mind to calm and your spirit to grow. Barry Weiss will use his knowledge to guide you into focused thought and educated discussion.

metal/stained glass STAINED G LASS COM PR EH EN SIV E: Ten-week course beginning January 9, Thursdays, 6-8:30 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. This course is a comprehensive introduction to stained glass techniques for beginning and intermediate students. Glass cut ting basics as well as lead came and copper foil methods will be covered. Students will build a full-sized window of their own design.

music FLYNNARTS M U SIC : Spring semester begins January 20. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 6524548 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Classes include: Jazz and Gospel Choir, Introduction to Flamenco Guitar, Jazz Combo Workshops, and masterclasses. INTRO TO TECHNOLOGY IN M U SIC : Thursdays,

stoneware and soda firings. Classes taught by pro fessional potter Michael Connelly and his staff. SCULPTIN G THE FIGURE: Thursday evening class es beginning January 16. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Work through the process of ceramics and refine your skills using the human form as your focus. Color slips will be applied by means of printing, inlaying, trailing, painting and soda fire.

O R IEN TEER IN G W O RKSH O PS: Saturday, January

safely through the backwoods of Vermont with out needing to stay on the beaten path. Topics

Finally, use your new-found skills to do a pointto-point bushwhack, totally off-trail, and gradu ate into the world of the safe off-trail wanderer.

512/class or 535/m onth for unlimited classes

Waterbury Center. Call 244-1126 or visit in fo @

that month. Info, 864-7778. This traditional Yang Style short-form Tai Chi is a gentle and

gentle exercise that coordinates deep breathing

reiki R E IK I C L IN IC : Thursday, December 19, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books & Gifts, Burlington. Donations welcomed. Pre-register, 802-660-

Burlington. Registration begins January 6.

sive, hands-on healing technique that originated in the East.

scuba

a.m. - noon. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive,

Essex. 5100/non-members, 2 5 % off/members. Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermont. com. A primer on fixed-base and plunge routers and laminate trimmers. This class pro vides a working knowledge of the router, table, operation, bits and accessories, jig s and tem plates (store-bought and shop-made).

yoga BEECHER H IL L YOGA: Ongoing day and evening classes or private instruction and yo ga therapy.

Posture & Alignment, Therapeutic Yoga and Yoga-based Stress Reduction. B IK R A M YOGA: Ongoing daily classes for all lev A heated studio facilitates deep stretching and detoxifying.

bearing, declination and low-impact hiking.

Saturdays. Vermont Clay Studio (VCS),

and movement to help with overall circulation and well-being.

ROUTER CLA SS: Sundays, January 19 and 26,

els. 257 Pine St., Burlington. Info, 651-8979.

The Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington.

535/m onth for unlimited classes that month.

vermont.com. Call to schedule a convenient time for you to attend.

skills, reading topographic maps, shooting a

Clay, Thursdays. Creative Tiles or Glazing,

Info, 864-7778, www.vcahh.org. Qi Gong is a

Essex. 545/one-session, 5100/two-sessions. Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shgotalk

to be covered: Awareness skills, basic compass

Thursdays, 7-8 p.m.; Saturdays, 7:45-8:45 a.m.

a.m.; Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. The

sessions, six hours. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive,

Yoga offers classes in Integrative Yoga, Yoga for

Throwing Larger Forms, Wednesdays. Not Your Ordinary Pot or Altered Forms in Handbuilt

Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $12/class or

LATHE C LA SS: One session, three hours, or two

sports.com. This clinic is designed to teach the skills that will allow you to walk freely and

Beginner class, Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.;

and Thursdays, 7:30-8:30 a.m. and 9:30-10:30

practical emphasis on chisels and hand-plane blades.

Hinesburg. In fo , 482-3191 or www.downstreet

Kinks Out, Tuesdays. Working in Sets or

Q I GONG: Ongoing classes for all levels, Mondays

www.shoptalkvermont.com. This three-hour course will present the theory and practice of sharpening and honing flat-edge tools with a

m agazine.com/beecherhillyoga. Beecher Hill

TAI C H I CHUAN: Ongoing, Wednesdays, 9-10 a.m.

qi gong

Morse Drive, Essex. 545/non-members, 25 % off/members. Limited class size, 878-0057,

11. Clearwater Sports, Route 100, Waitsfield.

Mixed Level, Mondays. Introduction or Get the

vermontclaystudio.org. A non-profit community arts center, gallery, exhibit space, studio rental.

FU N DA M EN T ALS OF HAND-TOO L SH A R P E N IN G : Saturday, January 18, 1-4 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A

555. Pre-register, 496-2708, www.clearwater

and evening classes, beginning January 6.

8060. Experience Reiki, an ancient, non-inva-

positions using Digital Orchestrator software and record them on CD. Three-credit class.

sports

tai chi

VERM O N T CLAY STU D IO : ADULT SEMESTER: Day

January 30 through May 5, 6:15-9 p.m. CCV, Info, 865-4422. Students create original com

F IN E W O O D W O R K IN G : Ten-week class for all lev els begin n ing January 6, morning or evening

men, women and children. Vermont Brazilian

spiritual

training in the pure Ving Tsun System, rooted in

and turn it into a finished piece. Open studio time is included.

Ongoing classes Monday through Saturday for

Bristol. For dates, times, and prices, visit

four days a week. 28 North St., two buildings up from North Ave., Burlington. Info, 3247702, www.kungfu-videos.com. Traditional

& 12, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

pilates

893-8893. This Filipino discipline combines the

MOY YAT V IN G TSUN KUNG FU: Beginner classes

CREATE A BOW L LATHE W ORKSHO P: January 11

flowing exercise that helps correct posture and creates deep relaxation and overall health. TAI C H I/M O N T PEL IER : Ongoing, Mondays, 5:156:30 p.m. Openings for beginners, January 6 & March 3. 64 Main St., third floor, Montpelier. 535/month. Pre-register, 456-1983. Instructor Ellie Hayes has been practicing and teaching Hwa Yu Style Tai Chi since 1974. This style fea tures circular movement, deep relaxation and significant health benefits.

wood BA SIC W OO DW O RKIN G TECHNIQUES: Ten weeks,

BR IST O L YOGA: Daily Astanga yoga classes, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, 5:30-7 p.m., Wednesdays, 10-11:30 a.m., Saturdays, 9:30-11 a.m., Sundays (beginners) 4-5 p.m. Old High School, Bristol. Info, 4825547. This classical form of yoga incorporates balance, strength and flexibility in a hot envi ronment to steady the mind, strengthen the body and free the soul. BU R LIN G T O N YOGA: Ongoing daily classes, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 658YOGA (9642). Students at all levels receive chal lenging instruction. M O N T PELIER B IK R A M YOGA: Ongoing classes at Geezum Crow Yoga, 37 Elm St., Montpelier. Info, 229-9922. Stretch, tone, sweat and smile. UGB SO L A R YOGA CLASS: New opening, January 3. Hatha Introductory Group of Asanas, 8:45 a.m.; Kids Yoga, 10:15 a.m.; Hatha Yoga, all levels, 2 p.m. 401 Patchen Rd., S. Burlington. 550/7 weeks. Register, Nicole Davila, UGB yo ga teacher, 865-9909. Introductory group of Asanas is especially designed for beginners, senior citizens, pregnant women, and a place for kids to play yoga. YOGA IN THE M A D R IV E R VALLEY: Ongoing classes in Kung Fu, TaeKwonDo & Tai Chi for seniors. Kripalu, Iyengar, Creative and

Sundays, January 12 through April 9, 1-4 p.m.

Kundalini yo ga classes. Centre for Healing and

Mondays, January 13 through March 17, 6-9

Martial Arts, Waitsfield. Info, 496-8906. All ages and abilities welcome.

p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. 5200/ non-members, 25 % off/members. Limited class

YOGA VERM ON T: Astanga classes every day.

size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermont.com.

Jivam ukti, Kripalu, Iyengar, prenatal, kids' &

Beginning woodworkers are exposed to the vari

senior classes weekly. Chace Mill, Burlington.

ous components of milling and joinery techniques

In fo , 660-9718 or www.yogavermont.com.

as they construct a project of their choice. COUPLES BO W LIN G : One session, three hours. Call to schedule a convenient time. Shoptalk,

INTRO TO W ORLD M U SIC : Fridays, January 31

SC U B A CERTIFICATIO N CLASS: Eight sessions,

through May 9, 11:45 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. CCV,

Tuesdays and Thursdays, January 7 through

7A Morse Drive, Essex. 510. 878-0057,

Burlington. Registration begins January 6.

January 30, 5:30-10 p.m. Burlington. 5245.

www.shoptalkvermont.com. Put a spin on your

Info, 865-4422. Explore selected music and

Additional 550 for local spring open-water cer

typical date n ig h t Bring your significant other

rhythms found across the globe. Two-credit class.

tification dives, or complete open-water dives

to class and learn how to make a beautiful bowl together.

Enjoy sweaty fun with a range of yoga choices, including astanga-style "pow er" yoga, for all levels o f experience.

g jtS i*6 e m m b Q V ! 500$ <?>-8 Ijs& tllSD ^h 2QB i December 18-25, 2002 I SEVEN DAYS

zmmi

h DEADLINE monday at 5pm 5 PHONE 802.864.5684 § FAX 802.865.1015 <0 e m a il classified@sevendaysvt.com /

S A L E S M A N A G E R R E Q U IR E D \ We are looking for a person who D esires Financial Freedom and is willing to make it happen. G r e e n M o u n ta in H a m m o ck C o m p a n y offers unlimited financial opportunity working at your own pace. We are a leading importer o f C lo th H am m ock s to the USA

Mail your resume to: G.M.H.C. 274 North Winnoski Ave. Burlington, VT 05401 V or Fax 802.865.0599

(/)

►EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPR LINE ADS: 750 a word, ►LEGALS: Starting at 350 a word. T] ►HOUSE & APT LINE ADS: 25 words for $10. Over 25: 500/word. ►LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25: 300/word. H ►DISPLAY ADS: $17.00/col. inch. ►ADULT ADS: $20/col. inch. m

A ll lin e ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD 8r cash, o f course.

Full A Part-time Teaching Positions S m all, private ea rly learning Academ ic School teaching traditional m ethods p re -g ra d e 3 , 7 :3 0 am - 5 :3 0 pm, M onday - Friday. Serious applicants only send resum e, copy of certification & 3 letters o f references to:

Also seeking M usic & Spanish teachers

Accounting Assistant C o lle g e S tre e t C h ild r e n 's C e n te r E a r ly C h ild h o o d E d u c a t o r The College Street Children's Center is looking for an infant/toddler teacher. The position is 40 hours a week. Classroom experience and a B.A. or B.S. in Early Childhood Education or related field is reguired. Starting yearly salary in the low twenties plus benefits. Send resume and 3 letters of reference to:

The ideal candidate will be willing to accept a challenge and be able to work efficiently in a fast paced environment. Excellent communication skills and attention to detail are essential. Accounting experience and knowledge of Excel and Access are a must. We offer a friendly working environment with a competitive benefits package. To apply, please send cover letter with resume and salary requirements to:

■

C in d y B od e tte /Sarah K em p C o lle ge Street C h ildre n 's Center 2 2 8 C o lle ge Street M idd leb u ry, V T 0 5 7 5 3 Em ail: cscc@ together.net

Ann-Marie Abajian Harvey Ashgate Publishing 101 Cherry Street

_____ Suite 420

1 ^ 2 9 Burlington, VT 05401-4405

functioning and pleasant young adult, 20 hours a week, in the Burlington area. Being able to teach social and work skills a plus.

Apply to Sterling Employment Services International Children's School, y ffiP O Box 9435, So. Burlington, VT 05403

Ashaate Publishing Company, an international academic book publisher, is seeking a selfmotivated accounting assistant.

A position providing job support for a high

D eadline: January 2, 2 0 0 2

P0 Box 1207 Morris ville, VT 05661 Or fax to: 802-888-1182

TRAINING

SPECIALIST

We’re expanding our workforce dramatically due to steady growth, and we’re committed to a high level of staff training and development We’re seeking a training specialist to assist with program design, classroom presentations, and ongoing support If you have a background in education, training or mortgages, please apply today to join our dynamic company. Requirements: Associates Degree or 5 years’ related experience, Excel and Word skills. Mail resume to: Cathy Nellis, Homebound Mortgage, Inc., 150 Water Tower Circle, Colchester, Vermont 05446. Visit us at www.homeboundmortgage.com

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

Residential Treatment Counselor | Energetic, responsible, individual needed 1 to join our team working in a residential 1 program for adults who have m ental | illn ess. B ach elo r’s degree and related Human Service experience preferred.

Howard Center for Human Service

■

Community Support Clinician Full-time position available to support persons with psychiatric disabilities in

Substitute Residential Workers 1

I J |

C om passionate, dependable individuals needed to work a s su b stitu te s for all sh ifts including sleep and awake overnight working with adults who are considered to have m ental illn ess.

I] People with disabilities en couraged to 1 apply. EEO/TTY

multi-disciplinary team providing creative problem-solving, advocacy, resource development, case management, counseling and crisis support. D irect services field and experience with persons with serious and persistent mental disorders preferred. Please submit resume to: Terrence Hayden

| | Send resu m e to: Lis Mickenberg Howard Center for Human Services

Chittenden County. W o rk as part of a

LIC S W ;

300 Flynn Ave. Burlington,VT 0 5 4 0 1 by January 15,2003.

by January 6, 2003.

Individuals with disabilities encouraged to apply E E O /T T Y

TroppTom ily JCbcfqe 101 A mountain resort In the European tradition * • BUSSER - FT position to work in the Austrian Tea Room. Assist servers with service; clear and reset tables, etc. Previous bussing experience preferred. Must be able to work daytime, weekends and holidays. • BAKER - FT year-round; must be able to work early A M hours, including weekends; Culinary degree plus 2-3 years of experience; Strong skills with plated desserts desired. • H O U S E M A N - FT, responsible for cleaning public areas and housekeeping vehicles; must be able to work weekends and lift up to 50 lbs. A valid driver's license is required. • CREW LEADER - PT, Saturday and Sunday; Duties include: follow-up on Guest House Cleaners, check completed work and complete anything missing; Hours are approximately 9am-4pm. • SW IT C H BO A R D O P E R A T O R - FT year-round; Must have previous Switch board/guest services experience and be able to work flexible hours including evening, weekends and holidays. Competitive pay SC benefits available after intro period for FT, YR such as medical, dental, life/disability, 401k, vacation/sick and more. Most employees get use of fitness ctr/pools/tennis/X-country skiing, free summer concerts in the meadow, shift meals, discounts on food, retail, massages SC more. Apply to: Trapp Family Lodge, HR, PO Box 1428, Stowe, V T 05672 Fax: 802-253-5757 or online at www.trappfamily.com E.O.E

SEVENDAYS

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C o m e & w o rk in a fu n & e n t h u s ia s t ic e n v ir o n m e n t .

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Home Care Provider Seeking a Home Care Provider to provide live-in support to an active, intelligent, and talented woman experiencing psychiatric symptoms. Position includes generous stipend, free housing, training, respite and support.

Team Leader A ssertive Community Treatment Team

NCSS, HR Department, 107 Fisher Pond Road, St. Albans, VT 05478

is now hiring:

Flexible Sch ed u le Fun Environm ent A p p ly in person today l-5pm

P a r t -t im e Cook P a r t -t im e D is h w a s h e r

Support Staff (1 position)

Call 8 0 2 -2 2 3 -0 5 1 7 .

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Call Michael 1080 Shelburne Road South Burlington EOE

(802)-244-7476

C o m m u n ity A sso c ia te s

D G A L G R .C ^ M e

is looking fo r p a rt-tim e instru cto rs fo r o ur p re-sch oo l, recreational classes & com p e titiv e te a m s . G ym nastic e x p e rie n c e is g re a t, but will tra in th e rig h t person.

Don't let this orre get away..

Seeking an organized, energetic and creative individual to provide leadership and supervision to the Assertive Community Treatment Team. Responsibilities include direct service to clients, supervision of staff and ensuring a high level of quality care. Must have a strong commitment to the recovery process of individuals with psychiatric symptoms. Must have a Master’s degree in a Human Services field or a Bachelor’s degree in a Human Services field and 3 years experience serving persons with psychiatric symptoms. (

N o rth S t a r s G y m n a s t ic s

L T l ON THE HILL

A D ivision o f the Counseling Service o f Addison County, Inc.

SU P P O R T IV E EM P LO Y M EN T R E P R E SEN T A T IV E

Dealer.com is currently hiring for an additional mem ber to its support staff. Position requires a minimum of 1 year internet related support experience, knowledge of the automotive industry, phone and E -M ail support experience and a zest for customer satisfaction. A working knowledge of HTML and W eb based software is necessary. Dealer.com W ebsystem s is a Burlington based ASP focused on Internet Solutions forthe automotive industry. To be considered for this position, please E -M ail your resume to careers@dealer.com for consideration.

Provide on the job support for people with developmental disabilities in Addison County. Work with local business and train in job skills. 40 hours per week. Full benefits including medical. Send letter o f interest and resume to: Dale Hindmarsh Employment Associates 61 Court Street Middlebury, V T 05753 or call 388-3488 „ EO E

•eSs.

Crisis W o rk e r

HUBERSUHNER,

Looking for a Career Change??

P a rt-tim e Hom e Pro vid ers

H U BERSU HNER is h a v in g a J O B F A IR !

C areer O p p o rtu n itie s • • • • • • • • •

Assembly Technicians RF Engineering Manager Quality Engineer Production Supervisor Planner Finance Manager RF MFG Process Engineer Administrative Assistant Marketing Communication Specialist

Seeking flexible, energetic crisis worker to support developmentally disabled adults and children with behavioral and emotional challenges in a variety of settings and modalities. Valid driver’s license and reliable vehicle required, as well as at least two years experience in human services. Great opportunity to work as part of a team. Part-time hours with excellent benefits, support and training. Please send resume to Sarah Richards, 102 South Winooski Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401, or email SarahRf3HowardCenter.org. EE0/TTY. Individuals with disabilities encouraged to apply.

C o m e see us to: • Complete an applications • Interview • Tour HUBER + SUHN ER

We offer a co m p etitiv e salary and ben efit program and the o p p o rtu n ity to jo in a well estab lish ed com pany.

Q u e s tio n s ? Call Vicki a t 8 7 8 - 0 5 5 5

Seeking a couple in a committed relationship preferably without children living in the home (one member could have outside employment) to join a dynamic and skilled team providing therapeutic support and care to a developmentally disabled adolescent young woman with emotional and behavioral challenges. Receive a generous, tax-free stipend for providing a supportive home environment on an as needed basis. Most of your work with this young lady would occur during evening and weekend hours. Flexibility and availability to be on-call a must. Hone your clinical skills, and train with the best! Please contact Liz Smith of Howard Community Services at 865-6196 for more information or to apply.

Residential in structor Exciting opportunity to work with dually diagnosed adolescents who have developmental disabilities and mental health issues. Opportunity to gain valuable clinical skills and to work as part of a dynamic and dedicated team. Full benefits as well as training and supervision are available. Crisis management skills preferred. Reliable transportation and a clean driving record required. Ability to work weekend hours is highly desirable. Send resume to: Mark MBrgolis, MA at Howard Community Services 102 South Winooski Avenue Burlington, VT 05401. For questions call 860-3579. EE0/TTY. Individuals with disabilities encouraged to apply. - .......... ..

..............

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. i

22B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

M M c l a s s if ie p s e m p l o y m e n t

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I 7D classifieds 23B m 4X*V£T'

EM PLO YM ENT S U P E R V IS O R : F U L L T IM E

Admi ni st r at i ve Ass i s t a nt s

Papa Nick’s

H e alth Insurance Plan, IR A Plan, - Paid Vacation Plan!

$lZ/hour,various positions,MS Office required.

Phone Surveys

Part-Time Positions

59/honr,eveninq t, weekend shifts available, flexible

V A

e c e p t io n is t

W aitstajf

Seeking Experienced, fun, friendly, flexible, & organized team member. Resumes & references please.

V ID E O W O R L D S u p e rsto re

Westaff

(full-time)

A p p ly in Person a t 1 .

For im m e d iate co n sid eratio n , please call N atalie at 862- 6500.

e t e r in a r y

s s is t n t /

Free Movie Rentals! Great Work Environment!

scheming,fun &casual office in downtown Burlington.

N ig ht Dishw asher

Individual" must be motivated, organized, mature 8c dependable.

a d R iver V eterinary S ervice

637 Millbrook Rd, Waitsfield. 802-496-7272 .

Ethan A lle n Shopping C enter 1 1 2 7 N o rth A venue - B urlington

Pay commensurate with experience.

Call Nick or Voula 482-6050 for an appointment

Full-time Training Specialist

Lamoille County Mental Health

VERMONT CENTER FOR CRIME VICTIM SERVICES

There’s no health club, no covered parking, and sometimes the hours are downright awful, but this media company offers the best atmosphere you’ve ever imagined. We do great work, for some very big clients and we’re interested in adding some new blood to our team of pros for

L am oille C o u n ty M ental H ealth is look in g to Fill a D S C ase M an agem en t position. T h is position includes w orking with d e v e lo p m e n ta l^ delayed children and their fam ilies. G reat benefits package. B A required.

2003. So to

all you

project managers, designers, telemarketers, programmers, video producers ... if you’re chill, but can go big ... drop us a line ...

Send resumes to:

L.C .M .H .S. 520 Washington Highway Morrisville, V T 05661 A TTN : H R Director

The VT Center for Crime Victim Services and the Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault seek a full-time Training Specialist to coordinate, design and deliver exceptional trat||iig with partner agencies on caregiver/domestic abuse and sexual assault against older people and people with disabilities. Familiarity with victim services, abuse issues, service for older people and people with disabilities preferred. Excellent presentation and group facilitation skills a must. Resume and cover letter by January 10^ to:

Fax: 872-0274 ... 22A M orse Drive, Essex Jet.

Jac Patrissi

05452, or email lpitcher@teamstriDer.com.

Vermont Center for Crime Victim Services 58 S. Main Street - Suite 1, Waterbury, VT 05676-1599

MSI

EOE Survivors of crime and persons with disabilities encouraged to apply.

Do you w o rk & p lay lik e a d o g ?

New England Federal Credit Union

nefcu.com

M a yb e it's tim e to shed th e leash a n d N e w E n g la n d Federal Credit Union, Verm ont’s largest Credit U nion with 7

com e w o rk fo r as!

branch locations, is a grow ing organization com m itted to price a n d service.

Sales Representative:

P le a s e visit our website - w w w .nefcu.com to learn m ore about the great opportunities a n d benefits that exist at N E F C U .

The successful p u p w ill have s tro n g c o m p u te r

TELLERS NEFCU Tellers have excellent, effective communication skills, are friendly and personable, and provide our members with excellent customer service. Qualified candidates must show attention to detail, be knowledgeable with computers and demonstrate accuracy. Cash handling and customer service experience required. If you would like the opportunity to work in a profes sional atmosphere where teamwork and customer service are hallmarks of the organization, please consider working with us.

skills w ith preference given for those individuals that have Apple Macintosh skills. A college degree is re q u ire d as w ell as s tro n g typing and w r itin g skills. A tte n tio n to detail and a commitment to friendly interaction w ith custom ers is essential.

for a team player th a t is capable o f m u ltita s k in g and is self-motivated, we provide c o m p e titiv e wages, a great w o rk environment and an u n b e a ta b le b e n e fits package!

We a re lo o kin g

Loan Processor We have an opportunity for a full-time Consumer Loan Processor. Must have a minimum 3-12 months loan processing experience. Top candidates must bring a strong aptitude for numbers, have good organizational skills, be attentive to details, and proficient with Microsoft Office. This is an opportunity for someone who is able to work in a fast-paced, multi-task environment, who has the desire to learn and contribute in the areas of loan operations.

If you are interested in working with us, and would like to be part of a dynamic team at NEFCU please send your letter of interest and resumd/application by email to HR@ nefcu.com or by mail to NEFCU, Human Resources, P.O. Box 527, Williston, VT 05495- 5027.

EOE

Electronics is a non-smoking environment, sm okers need n o t a p p ly. S m all Dog

We are an equal o p p o rtu n ity employer. Please e-mail your resume to D on@Smalldog.com (no phone calls please)

Small Dog

ElectronicsInc. www.smalldog.com

f t Apple Specialist 1673 Main Street ¥ Waitsfield ¥ Vermont

• ....

24B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

CLASSIFIEDSEM PLOYM ENT L"

i \ \ r ! t [ \ i t L l

B U R L IN G T O N S C H O O L D IS TR IC T EM PLO YM EN T IM M E D IA T E O P E N IN G S

4 Anticipated Night Custodian positions Various Paraeducator Positions - all grade levels Food Service / Prep - Positions at various locations .6FTE/Science Teacher - Horizons

A C C O U N T EXECUTIVE

Conway Office Products is looking for a self-motivated individual to market Konica copiers. Sales experience preferred, but not required. Qualified candidates will possess a professional im age, g o o d com m unication skills, a positive attitude and a com m itm ent to excellence. We offer:

Please forw ard cover letter, resume and 3 current letters of recom m endation to:

• Complete training program • 4 0 1 K plan • Competitive compensation plan • Car allowance • M edical benefits

Burlington School District Human Resources 150 Colchester Ave. Burlington, VT 05401 - Equal O pp ortun ity Employer -

(Aotmfy v

EOE

iity S u p p o r t S p e c ie list, # 2 9 8 _____ r .jort and rehabilitation services to llenging Individual in the following areas: community and vocational settings. 25 hours/week. F lo a te r , # 3 1 3 Provide consistent support to individuals we serve when regular support persons are out. May be required to work any shift. 37.7 hours/week.

Must be willing to work with individuals with ' . ■ ■ w§ sexual, behavioral and psychiatric issues, driver's license, good driving record and safe, lit insured vehicle required. Ijji s ! M iS I S l

I I

Send letter of interest and resume to: WCMHS; Personnel; PO Box 647; Montpelier, VT 05601 \ EOE. ' ''

i r I

A re y o u a m o rn in g p e r s o n ? C an y o u fa k e b e in g a m o rn in g p e r s o n ? G ot a g o o d v o ic e ? C an y o u m a k e s e n s e o f th e n e w s a n d s p o r ts ? Think y o u c a n d e a l w ith th e dry w it of o u r British im port, la in ? T h en m a y b e YOU a r e the n ext c o -h o st o f Th e M o rn in g B u zz! K im 's h e a d in g b a c k to NYC, a n d w e s o m e o n e to c o -h o st T h e M o rn in g B u z z w ith lain . If y o u a re in te re ste d , s e n d a r e s u m e a n d (if y o u 'v e got o n e) a t a p e o f p a s t ra d io w ork , or ju s t a ta p e o f w h a t y o u r v o ic e s o u n d s like to:

For a confidential interview, please call Keith Clark at 800 -343-7777 ext. 239 .

THE MORNING BUZZ WANTS YOU!

«*B

THE MORNING BUZZ P.O. BOX 999 BURLINGTON, VT 0 5 4 0 1 Got questions? Email u s, m ailb ag@ 999thebuzz.com ! Burlington B roadcasters is an eq u al opportunity employer.

CHITTENDEN SO U TH S U P E R V ISO R Y U N IO N __________ 2002-03 N o n -L ic e n s e d O p e n in g s _________

C h a m p la in V a lle y U n io n H ig h S c h o o l Para-Educator - needed for special program at CVU serving students with emotional/behavioral issues. Full-time, school year position. Experience preferred. Extensive training will be provided. Please send resume, letter of interest and three references to: Beth Peterson, Director of Special Services, 369 CVU Road, Hinesburg, VT 05461.___________________________________

! I [ I

Assistant Track Coaches t 1 i i !

Essex U n io n H ig h School Two, tem porary/one-year positions available for the 2 0 0 3 track seasons. O ne position will specialize in distance events. Both positions pay $ 1 ,7 9 3 per season. Experience w orking with high school aged students preferred. I f interested, please send letter, resum e/application and three letters o f reference to:

Ed Hockenbury/Athletic Director Essex Union High School 2 Educational Drive Essex Junction, VT 05452

W i l l i s t o n S c h o o l D is t r ic t Para-educators - Williston School District Special Education Department has several Para-educator positions available for experienced applicants. If you want to make a difference with children and gain valuable experience, consider joining our special education team. Pay rate is competitive, benefits are included. Apply to Williston School District, 195 Central School Drive, Williston, VT 05495, Attn: Cindy Morin, Special Education Office Manager. Questions call Cindy at 879-5845. Title One Math Para-educator - Williston School District Title 1 Program has an opening for a part-time Math Para-educator. Requirements: skills in teaching early math concepts and math skills K-3 and an Associate's degree. Preferred: familiarity of the Everyday Math program. Please contact Nancy Rondeau - 878-2762, ext. 5769 or Carter Smith - 879-5825.__________________

S h e l b u r n e C o m m u n i t y S c h o o l _____________ Speech Language Pathologist - Shelburne Community School is looking for a dynamic professional to work approximately 10 hours per week working with our Early Essential Education Program, (ages 3-5). Qualified candidates will have a demonstrated record of performance and solid background in assessment, consultation and direct service with elementary-aged students identified with speech and language delays. Potential for long-term employment in 2003-04 school year. Licensed candidates should send a resume and three letters of reference to: Patty Spagnolo, 345 Harbor Road, Shelburne, VT 05482. Any questions, please call 985-3331 ext. 108.______________________________

SEVEN DAYS I december 18-25, 2002

► employment 100 WORKERS NEEDED. Assembte craft, wood items. Materials provided. Up to $480/wk. Free info package 24 hours. Call 801-428-4614.

AEROBIC INSTRUCTORS WANT ED at newly expanded All American Fitness, 865-3068. EARN INCOME WORKING from home. $500-$1500 P/T, $2500 + F/T. Local Business Mentors: Chad 8< Tonya Pearson. For FREE booklet: Call 888-447-6280 or visit www.GetWealthToday.com. RECORDING ENGINEER: Music Producer, Mixer, Protools Editor and more. No experience required. On-the-job-training in local Recording Studios & Record Companies. Part-time, nights, weekends. Call for FREE video 1-800-295-4433. www.RecordingConnection.com. (AAN CAN) RETAIL SALES: Full or parttime. Are you bright? Accurate? Love to help people? Have a tal ent for design? TEMPO FURNISH INGS, 985-8776.

WE WANT MINORITY WRIT ERS: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by alterna tive papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism, Chicago. The eightweek program (June 23 - August 15, 2003) aims to recruit talent ed minority writers into the alter native press and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. For infor mation visit the web site at www.medill.northwestern.edu/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. ftttacade*-----my@northwestern.edu. Application deadline February 7, 2003. (AAN CAN)

► work wanted

METROPOLITAN MORTGAGE & Securities Co., Inc. buying sellerfinanced mortgages through bro kers since 1953. To broker a note, call 1-800-268-9184. Visit us online at www.metrobuysnotes.com. (AAN CAN) P/T INSTRUCTOR: Need a great job paying great cash? Score well on standardized tests? The Princeton Review is looking for bright people to teach classroom test prep courses and Science courses in the Burlington area. Flex hrs. Please fax or e-mail let ter with test scores and a resume to Personnel at 617-5582727 or dreamjob@review.com.

► announcements DONATIONS WANTED for Dress for Success Sale. Professional clothing for men and women (sizes 8 - 26, fuller sizes are especially needed) in excellent condition needed to insure that individuals on public assistance working or starting work will have proper interview attire and etiquette to secure jobs in pro fessional environments. Must be dry cleaned or pressed, on hang ers, and delivered to Rhonda Freed, Family Self Sufficiency Program Coordinator at the Burlington Housing Authority, 150 S. Champlain St., Burlington, between 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. until February 1, 2003. Call Rhonda, 864-0538 x226 for info. Please note that boxes or bags of clothes cannot be accepted. YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $1,150.00! Reach more than 15 million young, active, adventur ous readers weekly. Call Jess at 802-864-5684. No Adult Ads. (AAN CAN)

► dating svcs. COMPATIBLES HOLIDAY SPE CIAL! We are your local dating solu tion. Call us now for details and save, 872-8500, www.compatibles.com. START DATING TONIGHT. Have fun playing Vermont's dating game. For information call 1800-R0MANCE x2288.

BARTENDER FOR HIRE: Experienced Bartender with a wide repertoire of cocktails avail able for private parties or catering events. Call Dan Lewin, 863-5276 or 598-3030 (cell).

► business opps

professional svcs. ATTN: ARTISTS AND PHOTOG RAPHERS: Experience Fine Art Digital Printmaking with Archival Inks on Archival Papers. Bring a slide or digital file and get an 8x10 print FREE! Churchman Inc. Creative Services, 899-2200. churchman.inc@verizon.net.

DREAMING OF A BEAUTIFUL

qptamp Jfour Way to Su cce ss! Make friends, art and income from home with Stampin’ Up!® Fun, Flexibility and Financial Freedom. No experience necessary. Call Jen Heffeman Independent Demonstrator

home this holiday season? Mack Painting can make your dreams come true. I take great pride in my work from start to finish. Full prep. Free estimate. Call 802-658-8793. Ask for Greg.

PHOTOSHOP INSTRUCTION: Beginning/Intermediate/Advanced. Private or small group. Reasonable rates and flexible rimes. Call Churchman Inc. Creative Services at 802-899-2200.

RESIDENTIAL SNOW PLOW ING. Call for free estimate.

802.388.4225

Commercial contracts also avail able. Call Jay at Northland Excavating, 238-0831.

www.greenmountainstamper. stampinup.net

UNIQUE PHOTOGRAPHY SER VICE: People/pets/places within

VERMONT LIQ UO R OUTLET & BEVERAGE STORE: Main St., Waterbury. Great opportunity to [purchase well-established, turnley operation. Under same owner ship for past 14 years. $185,000, plus inventory. See SpaceFinder, age 26 for more info. [i$ BARTEND $$ Have fun, wake money. Up to $300 per hift. No experience required, all 800-806-0083 ext. 203. AAN CAN) DELIVERY ROUTE: Small truck ing business for sale. Part-time pork, full-time pay. Local deliv eries every other weekend. Includes 14 ft. cube van and lelivery contract. Call John 802>93-8110.

their own environment, by Frog Hollow Montage Artist John Churchman. Call 802-899-2200.

VIDEOGRAPHY AND COMMER CIAL project production. Wedd ings, events, concerts. Rockumentaries for press packs. Prof essional digital equipment, rea sonable rates. Heady Froth Films 238-2622. WOMENBUILD now booking renovations 8. new construction. Call NNETW, 878-0004 xlOO.

► photography MODELS WANTED: Looking for serious aspiring models who are interested in breaking into the business. Growing need for all kinds of models. Contact Dave at David Russell Photography for free consultation. 651-9493 or e-mail: RUSL53@aol.com, web site: www.rusldp.com. NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER to cover your event or for special pictures? My rates are very affordable. Contact David Russell Photography at 651-9493, http://www.rusldp.com.

► financial BE DEBT FREE. Low payments, reduced interest. Stop collector calls, stop late fees. Non-profit Christian Agency. Recorded mes sage, 800-714-9764. Family Credit Counseling, www.familycredit.org. (AAN CAN) $$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for structured settlements, annu ities, real estate notes, private mortgage notes, accident cases and insurance payouts. 877NOTES-31 (AAN CAN)

► childcare

ANTIQUES: Furniture, postcards, v pottery, cameras, toys, medical, tools, lab glass, photographs, slide rules, license plates and silver. Anything unusual or unique. Cash paid. Call Dave at 802-859-8966. CASH FOR ANTIQUES, Memo rabilia, Levi's and clothes. Call Ivan, Battery St. Jeans. 233-9843 or 864-6411.

► free FREE COUCH: Good condition. Clean. Pinkish color. You want, you haul. 651-1080.

► music for sale BLACK IBANEZ DESTROYER bass, $400/firm. Red Ibanez Destroyer guitar, $400/firm. ART Tube Parametric Eq., $175. DOD Multi Effects Processor, $100. SANS Amp Tech 21 guitar pedal, $150. 863-1922. CAIRDIN MINI-DELUXE Irish two-row button accordion with 21 treble buttons, 8 basses. Nolan style, with thirds removed, C sharp/D, swing tuned, walnut stained wooden body, stainless steel grill and keyboard, hard case. $1450. 802-244-7556.

► tegals

>N0T FOR KIDS>

CITY OF BURLINGTON ... TRAFFIC REGULATIONS

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

The following traffic regulations are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amend ments to Appendix C, Motor Vehicles, and the City of Burlington's Code of Ordinances:

>N0T FOR KIDS>

18+ ONLY

Sec. 7. No-Parking Areas.

>N0T FOR KIDS>

No person shall park any vehicle at any time in the following locations:

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

(1) through (501) As Written (502) On the east side of High Grove Court including the inner and outer perimeter of the culde-sac. (503) As Written

18+ ONLY

NASTY GIRLS H A R D C O R E LIVE 1 ON 1

Adopted this 11th day of July 2001 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners: Attest: Signature Norm Baldwin, P.E. Assistant Director - Technical Services

1*800-458-6444

1-900-988-0900^ i8+

X X X ! SE C R E T D E S IR E S

Adopted 7/11/2001: Published 12/18/02: Effective 12/25/02.

1 800 723-7422 1 9002 463-7422 0 18

EXPERIENCED, RESPONSIBLE nanny wanted for 3-month-old infant in Feb. 3 days during week, hours/days flexible, housework as negotiated. $8/hr. Burlington. Refs. req. Karen, 660-9867. FREE ROOM & BOARD in exchange for childcare for two teenagers. Three nights per week. Jericho. 899-4559.

► cleaning svcs. BEAUTIFY YOUR HOME with Sunshine Bay Residential Cleaning Service. "Creating quali ty time for you and your family." Diane, 238-1201. DUST BUNNIES BEWARE! Need your house clean for the Holi days? References available upon request. Please call 862-9866.

► writing INK: GREAT WRITING at your service. Ad copy, newsletters, brochures, press releases, etc. Writing that compels. Francesca, 861-3102 or ink@sover.net.

► buy this stuff ARCADE GAMES 8. POOL TABLES: Ms. Pac-Man, Gallaga, & many more. Recon. commercial pool tables, showroom by appt. Call and leave message, 802863-5059. EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: Nordic Rex Ultralift weight machine. Like new, $250 (originally $950). Nordic Track Sport, exercise machine, World Class Edition. $150. 8283224, days, 253-1908, eves. FOR SALE: Bolens 8 HP snow blower. Electronic starter, heated handles, "cab" with working light Great condition! $750. Burlington, 859-0550 or 233-6161. LEVI'S DENIM, double reclining, down-filled sofa and matching loveseat. Three years old. Excellent shape. $700. Contem porary oak 27" console TV. Perfect shape. $250/060. 518-569-7543.

RETRO CIRCA 60'S JUKEBOX. Two complete sets of 45's. $400. 518-564-7543.

► music services 1200 SQ. FT. RECORDING STU DIO space for rent. Wired and ready to go. Serious inquiries only, amostrue@earthlink.net. EMP STUDIOS: See what Government Mule, Our Lady Peace, Big Head Todd, Joe Bonamassa, and The Samples have all experienced. Lots of studios in town claim "State of the Art". Only one has been on the cover of MIX Magazine. Block and Day rates available. www.eganmedia.com, 655-1886. GUITAR LESSONS: Berklee alumni, accepting students of all levels and styles. 1/2 hour or -hour. Affordable rates. Call Ian, 658-4841. RECORD YOUR BAND! $150 for 60 minute CD. Burlington studio has top-notch gear and producer with 20 years experience. Satis faction guaranteed! Cooper at the Controls, 862-1116.

► musicians avail KEYBOARD PLAYER with vocals seeking working band. Prefer oldies or wedding, but can do just about anything. 802-3242730, leave message.

► musicians wantea BRASS PLAYERS WANTED: From duets through brass choir. Looking for brass players inter ested in forming small groups for fun or performance. Contact VTBRASS@hotmail.com for more information. SERIOUS MUSICIANS with ten tative set list seek local bassist, guitarist, keyboard player, and singer to play classic rock and electric blues from Aerosmith to Hendrix to Zeppelin. Call Chris, 985-2770 or Jim, 865-2709.

SINGER/SONGWRITER SEEKS professional caliber guitarist or multi-instrumentalist with vocal abilities for acoustic act. I've got the songs, have you got the chops? Call John, 425-7120.

SNOW BOARD FOR SALE: Salomon, size 164, with bind ings. 3 years old. Excellent con dition. $199. 899-1282.

► music instruct.

SNOW BOARD JACKET FOR SALE: Burton, men's large.

Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar/Grippo, etc.), 862-7696, www.paulasbell.com. GUITAR: Berklee graduate with classical background offers lessons in guitar, theory, and ear training. Individualized, step-bystep approach. I enjoy teaching all ages/styles/levels. Call Rick Belford at 865-8353.

Waterproof, dark blue. Only 1 year old. Loaded with features. $99. 899-1282.

► want to buy

$$ Cash$$ for your clothes Call toll free 1-888-282-2667

GUITAR: All styles/levels.

Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

VISA/MC/AMEX

$ .S /Min.

VACANCY NOTICE CITY OF BURLINGTON At their meeting on January 6, 2003 at 7:00 p.m. in Contois Auditorium, City Hall, the City Council with Mayor presiding will appoint a member to the Library Commission to fill the vacancy of Geoffrey W. Crawford, term expires June 30, 2005. Applications are available at the Clerk/Treasurer's Office, Second Floor, City Hall, Burlington, VT. You must be a Burlington resi dent and must be sponsored by a City Councilor prior to the meet ing. Applications are due in the Clerk/Treasurer's Office by 4:00 p.m., Tuesday, December 31, 2002. Please call the Clerk/Treasurer's Office at 8657136 for further information.

1-8 8 8 -4 2 0 -B A B E

1- 900 - 772 - 600099® M l* 1- 473 - 444 - 0488 n « r t u

Lori Olberg Administrative Assistant

classifieds W H ERE THE GOOD

a p a rtm e n ts

s e r v ic e s

jo b s

cars

ARE.

To place your ad e-mail: c la s s ifie d @ s e v e n d a y s v t .c o m

268 I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVEN DAYS

JM M

s p a c e f in d e r

► real estate CASH: Sold Real Estate and receiving payments on a mort gage and note? I'll pay you cash for your remaining payments. Frank, 802-462-2552.

► office space

Kilbume & Gates Building 4,000 sq. ft., incl. 3 offices, conference room and kitch enette. Space has lots of character with open concept, exposed beams and good natural light. $13.00 sq. ft.

Pom erleau Real E state 802-863-8210

B attery Street ;y « ^ *p ra c tiv e 750 sq. ft., 2nd floor office space. Historic building, lake views, and parking available. $1000/mo. Call for further information.

Pom erleau Real E state 802-863-82 1 0

131 Church Street High-end penthouse suite. Entire floor w/over 3900 sq. ft. 8+ offices, conf. room & kitchenette. Overlooking Church St. Marketplace & City Hall Park. Lake/mtn. views & rooftop gardens.

Pomerleau Real Estate 802-863-8210 BURLINGTON WATERFRONT: Awesome space. Cool people. Main Street Landing. Call Melinda, 864-7999.

► space for rent BATTERY ST.: Lake views. Approx. 4000 sq. ft. for rent. $2600/mo. or partial space avail. 864-6411 or 233-9843. BURLINGTON: Artists' studios for rent in historic building. Join other artists. Several creative spaces avail, immed. A/C, heat, parking. $250/mo. and up. Call Andy at 802-864-6835. DEALERS WANTED: Space for rent for antiques & collectibles. Very busy location. Battery St. Jeans. 864-6411 or 865-6223.

► housing for BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom, three room studio apt. HW/elec. + heat included. Off-street park ing. No smoking/pets. $685/mo. 864-8100.

BURLINGTON: 2-3 bedroom, bright, sunny kitchen and living room, full Bath, off-street park ing. Quiet neighborhood. Great location. $1000/mo. Call 8593393, leave message. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom, 1/4 mile to UVM/hospitaL Parking, trash, water incL No pets. AvaiL in Jan. $800/mo. for 2 people. $750/mo. for 1 person. Cali 941-2429. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom apt. in beautifully restored Victorian. Downtown, walk to everything, offstreet parking. $1100/mo. Dave, 802-846-9568 or 802-355-8868. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom, sec ond floor, parking. No dogs. Gas heat, near hospital. $875/mo. + utils. 862-4007. BURLINGTON: 3 floors, 3 bed rooms, parking, 4 blocks to downtown, 8 blocks to UVM. $1200/mo. + utils. 372-4890. BURLINGTON: Attractive 3-bed room apt. Well-maintained older home. Wood floors, gas heat, large bathroom, eat-in kitchen, W/D, large yard, parking, storage, mountain/river views. Pets OK. No smoking. Walk to UVM/downtown. Close to highway. Avail, immed. $1250/mo., includes water/garbage. 652-1272. BURLINGTON: Duplex, 2-bed room, clean, quiet Full eat-in kitchen, living room, full bath. W/D hookups, huge basement for stor age, parking. On North Ave. near Plattsburgh Ave. No pets/smoking. AvaiL 1/1. $825/mo., incL trash removal and water. 951-2457. BURLINGTON: Efficiency, 1 & 3 & 4 bedrooms. Gas heat, offstreet parking. Close to UVM and downtown. Avail, now. $550$1100/mo. Call 864-4449. BURLINGTON: Large 1-bedroom apt., second floor, one block from FAHC/MCHB campus, offstreet parking. No pets please. $700/mo. + utils. 862-6433 x34. BURLINGTON: Large 2-bedroom flats. Gas heat, on-site laundry. Conveniently located behind Price Chopper. No pets/smoking. Avail. mid-December. $800/mo. Call South Meadow Apartments, 864-9966. BURLINGTON: New North End, 3-bedroom ranch, 1.75 baths, fireplace, DW, W/D, yard, deck, garage. Avail. 12/15. $1150/mo. + utils. 288-9142. BURLINGTON: Spacious, first floor, 2-bedroom apt. Near UVM/FAHC. Clean, bright, quiet. W/D access, porch, office. Friendly landlords. Heat/elec./HW incl. $1100/mo. 1 year lease (will consider shorter term). 324-5219. BURLINGTON: Studio apt. for rent. Off-street parking, hdwd floors, refinished bathroom. No smoking. $525/mo. 865-4782. CHARLOTTE: Beautiful, bright, spacious, two-story, 1-bedroom apt. near lake. Open kitchen/living area. Sunset view of the Adirondacks. 20 mins, to Burl ington. Electricity included, shared laundry. Nonsmoker only. Avail, immed. $850/mo. + heat. Call 342-8306. CHARLOTTE: Cozy, comfortable, furnished 1-bedroom apt. in ren ovated barn. Beautiful views. No smoking. $950/mo. + utils. Second floor also avail, for extra bedroom or office. $250/mo. 425-4409. COLCHESTER: 3-bedroom, den, clean, new appliances, yard. Near exit 17. Close to IBM, FAHC. $1800/mo. + utils., dep. & refs. 802-373-0885. COLCHESTER: Duplex. 2-bed room, gas heat, HW, W/D, park ing, yard. Pets OK. $1050/mo. + utils. 878-3550.

COLCHESTER/MALLETS BAY: Great 2-bedroom apt. w/beautiful lake views. All new Anderson windows/carpet. Pvt. deck & beach access. Avail. 1/4. $1200/mo. Call Dave, 846-5620.

REAL ESTATE, RENTALS, HOUSEMATES AND MORE

ESSEX: Furnished 4-bedroom

WINOOSKI: 2-bedroom, new

SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO: 1-

house, study, deck, porch, fire place. All appliances. Beautiful rural setting. 1.5 miles from major urban area. 8 miles to Burlington. No smoking. $1600/mo. 878-4087. ESSEX JCT: Large 1-bedroom apt. Fenced-in yard, W/D. No smoking. Dogs OK upon approval. Avail. 1/1. $850/mo. + utils. 899-3720 or 310-1220. ESSEX JCT: Duplex, 2-bedrooms + den, 1.5 baths, garage, gas heat & HW, parking, all appli ances included. 1400 sq. ft., clean, private. Avail, immed. $1050/mo. + utils. 872-8668.

appliances/carpet/paint. Quiet neighborhood, parking. $725/mo. + utils. 655-2918. WINOOSKI: Beautiful 1-bedroom apt. w/pvt. entrance, in quiet neighborhood on 1.5 acres of land. Parking/garbage/snow removal included. No pets/smok ing. $750/mo. + heat. Call after 6 p.m., 655-2490. WINOOSKI: Clean 2-bedroom, gas heat, large kitchen 8. bath, deck, parking, on-site laundry. Convenient to buses, Burlington & interstate. Avail. 12/14. $750/mo. + utils. 655-0184. WINOOSKI: Large duplex, 3 bed rooms, garden space, off-street parking. No dogs/smoking. Avail, immed. $895/mo. + utils. Call 862-8219.

bedroom condo. Weekend of Sat., Feb. 23 through March 2. $850. 802-865-3305. STOWE: Time share condo for sale. Redweek. 2-bedroom, sleeps 6. Excellent exchange value. Must sell! 802-865-3305. No telemarketers.

WATERBURY BEVERAGE - MAIN STREET, WATERBURY

Great opportunity to purchase this well-established, turn-key operation. Vermont Liquor Outlet and Beverage Store with complete line o f liquor, cordials, wines, malt beverages and snacks. Under the same ownership for the past 14 years. Priced at $185,000, plus inventory. aJfciY*

POMERLEAU REAL ESTATE w w w .pom erleaurealestate.com 69 College Street, Burlington • 802.863.8210 ESSEX, NY: Beautifully fur nished apt. w/lake views and art studio. Walk to ferry. No smok ing/pets. Avail. Dec. '02 through June '03. $650/mo. + utils. 518963-7494. MALLETTS BAY: Charming 2bedroom cottage. Lake views, garden, beach access. Wood & gas heat, 2 living rooms, loft, & more. $850/mo. + dep. Call Dana at 878-8222. MILTON: Very nice 2-bedroom condo. Evergreen Dr., 15 mins, from Burlington. Finished base ment, W/D hookups, water included. No pets. $925/mo. + utils. & dep. 893-8107. S. BURLINGTON: Dorset and Kennedy. Lovely townhouse. 2bedroom, clean, convenient, parking. No pets. Avail, immed. $900/mo. + utils. 864-7126. S. BURLINGTON: Unique situa tion. Exchange rent/utils./cable for front-desk position, M-F, 58:15 a.m., gym/tanning mem bership, W/D use. 6 month lease. Large efficiency with spa cious closet, vaulted ceiling. Quiet individual. No smoking/ pets. Call 985-2342 or 324-6857. WATERBURY: 1/2 of duplex. 3bedroom, 1-bath upstairs, LR/DR/kitchen downstairs. Basement storage, ample park ing. Avail. 1/1. $1200/mo. + utils. First month rent + 1 month sec. Days, 802-660-3253, nights, 802-244-1537.

► sublets BURLINGTON: Furnished duplex apt. for rent. 3/1 - 5/31. 2-3 bedrooms, lake view, laundry, porch, parking. $1000/mo., all incl. 658-6862. BURLINGTON: Subletter need ed. 2 rooms avail, immed. Convenient location. Great atmosphere. M/F: $400/mo. Call Leif or Natalie at 652-4032.

► for sale STAR CRAFT, 73, outskirts of Hinesburg. Triple L. Pets OK. 60 x 12. 2-bedroom, 1 bath. $16,500/firm. Call 863-6533.

► room for rent ESSEX: 1-bedroom in 4-bedroom. Nice! $325/mo. All basics. 879-1537.

► vacation rental NORTH HERO: Great gift, a hol iday retreat. 3-bedroom lakefront home in desirable location. Captivating lake/mountain views. Hang your stockings on the stone fireplace mantel. Sleeps 6 (1 queen and 4 twin beds). Fully furnished/your linens. $1200/wk. 12/15-1/4. Lower non-holiday rates. Dep. 324-5219.

Open The Door To A W hole New Market...

Seven Days S p a c e f in d e r

► housemates ALL AREAS, ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online list ings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommate.com. (AAN CAN) BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom in 2bedroom downtown apt. Creative, cozy, nonsmoking. W/D, porch. Bedroom has own entrance. Lots of storage. Check it out. $370/mo. + 1/2 utils. Meg, 660-9550. BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom in 3bedroom apt. Close to UVM/downtown. Avail. 1/1. Prof/grad. preferred. Hdwd floors, off-street parking. No pets. $478/mo. + utils. 9519532. BURLINGTON: Beautiful, large, 4-bedroom house in downtown area with parking and yard. Looking for 1 friendly, clean, mature and prof, person. Pets negotiable. Avail. 2/1. 1/4 utils. Call 863-4409. BURLINGTON: Cool people, clean house, near hospital. Music, art 8. gay-friendly. $400/mo. + 1/4 utils. 660-8200. BURLINGTON: Housemate need ed for funky, lakeside house in Queen City Park. Next to Red Rocks and bike path. Fireplace, sunset views. No dogs. $475/mo. 951-1131. BURLINGTON: M/F, beautiful 2bedroom Riverwatch condo. Near downtown/hospital/UVM. Coin op laundry, pool, parking. Furnished living areas. Avail. 1/1. $500/mo„ incl. heat/HW. Call 233-2057 Keith. , BURLINGTON: Pvt., large mas ter bedroom suite. Fully-fur nished. Parking, W/D, kitchen. Seeking prof., mature, nonsmok er. Avail. 1/1. $600/mo. + 1/2 utils. 802-865-3305. BURLINGTON: Room available mid-Jan. through 6/1. One block from campus. Quiet street and fun roommates. $425/mo. + utils. Call 862-1904 or 413-8966068. BURLINGTON: Roommate need ed! Great location! 1-bedroom avail, in a 3-bedroom, apt. W/D, free internet/cable. Must love dogs. $400/mo., heat incl. Call Whitney, 860-2870. BURLINGTON: Roommate or sublet. Old North End. 2-bed room to share, $425/mo. or sub let for $850/mo. until 5/31. 652-2448. BURLINGTON: Roommate want ed to share spacious apt. with three conscientious UVM stu dents for the spring semester. 118 N. Union St., close, conve nient walk to Church St./UVM. Off-street parking, laundry. Avail. 1/1. $425/mo. + utils. Paul, 802-660-9080. BURLINGTON: Share 2-bed room, modem apt. Close to UVM and downtown. Parking. No smoking/pets. $450/mo. + utils. Call 859-3359. BURLINGTON: Student/young prof, to share large downtown, 3-bedroom apt. Avail, now. $400/mo., incl. everything. 845430-6046. BURLINGTON: Two rooms avail, in large 4-bedroom apt. 10 mins, walk from downtown. Seeking M/F to share expenses. $325/mo. + 1/4 utils. 865-4555.

CHARLOTTE: Housemate wanted for large, beautiful Victorian Farmhouse. No pets/smokers. Avail. 1/1. $375/mo. + 1/4 utils. 425-4761. CHARLOTTE: Looking for one/two additional roommates to share country home. Sunny bedrooms, views of lake/Adirondacks, 1 mile to com muter rail. $300-$400/mo. + 1/4 utils. 1 month dep. 425-6212 or 864-3672 xl036, jhfreese@earthlink.net. ESSEX JCT: 1 room in 2-bedroom house. Storage, laundry. Must like dogs. Additional pet negotiable. $425/mo. + 1/2 utils. 878-1999. JERICHO: 1-bedroom in 2-bed room house. Large room & clos et, comfortable common space. Dog OK. Nice house, nicer set ting: X-C ski from door! $450/mo. + utils. 434-8543. MONTPELIER: 3-bedroom house seeks third roommate. 2 miles from downtown. Quiet. $400/mo., incl. heat/electric, laundry, parking, trash removal. 802-223-0515. S. BURLINGTON: Kind, peace ful, progressive F to share quiet, spacious townhouse with two creative women and two cats. Woodsy, private, bike path, deck, yard, 2.5 baths, DW, W/D, gas heat. No dogs. $450/mo. + 1/3 utils. + dep. 863-5376. SHELBURNE: M/F for 1-bed room in 3-bedroom house. Lake view, large back yard, fireplace, W/D, quiet neighborhood. $400/mo. + utils. Contact Bill, 985-3125.

► homeshare RETIRED TEACHER SEEKS female housemate, who could provide rent and companionship. No smoking/pets. Lovely home near bike path. Contact HomeShare Vermont, 802-8633360 or visit www.homesharever-

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EQUAL H O U SING OPPORTUNITY

All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing A ct o f 1968 and similar Vermont statutes which make it ille gal to advertise any preference, lim itations. or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex. national ori gin. sexual orientation, age. marital status, handicap, presence o f minor children in the family or receipt of public assistance, or an intention to make any such preference, limita tion or a discrimination. The newspa per will not knowingly a c c e p t any advertising for real estate, which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed th a t alt dwellings, advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. Any hom e seeker who feels he or she has encountered discrimi nation should co n ta c t the: HUD Office o f Fair Housing 10 Causeway Street, Boston. MA 02222-1092 (617)565-5309 or Vermont Human Rights Commission, 135 State Street, Drawer 33 Montpelier. VT 05633-6301 800-416-2010 Fax: 802-828-2480

Contact AUison 8 0 2 -8 6 5 -1 0 2 0 x2 2 aUison@sevendaysvt.com

SEVEN DAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I

a a W ONTHEROADVEHICLES ► automotive CHEVROLET CAVALIER Z24, 2001, coupe 2 dr., black, 4cyl/2.4L, 5 spd., FWD. 24,918 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, rear spoil er. Best price, $10,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CHEVROLET PRIZM, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., red, 4-cyl/1.8L, auto., FWD. 20,462 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM, dual front air bags. Best price, $7990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. FORD MUSTANG, 1988, con vertible, California car. Excellent condition. Downsizing. $4000. 527-8230.

MERCURY GRAND MARQUIS, 1990, Luxury Edition. Just up from Florida, always garaged & maintained, show room condi tion. Light blue/grey with navy vinyl top & velour interior. Luxury model, all options, fuel injection, 5.0L, 74K highway miles, new snow tires. $3700. 802-482-4995.

NISSAN MAXIMA SE, 2002, sedan, 4 dr., gray, V6/3.5L, auto., FWD. 24,810 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $18,755. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

Cadillac • Pontiac w w w .Sh e are rP o n tiac .c o m 8 0 2

-6 5 8 -1 2 1 2

OLDSMOBILE ALERO GL, 2000, coupe, 2 dr., silver, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 35,529 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $9998. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

OLDSMOBILE BRAVADA, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/4.3L, auto., AWD. 36,019 miles, A/C, PS, PW, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, leather. Best price, $16;875. 'CattShearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

VOLVO 2400 DL, 1990, 113K

VW JETTA GLS, 2000, blue, 4-

PONTIAC AZTEK, 2001, sport

1998, sedan, 4 dr., white, V6/3.8L, auto., FWD. 54,454 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, traction control, leather. Best price, $8590. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

miles, PW, PL, sunroof, CD play er, 5 spd., heated seats. 4 brand new snows. Phenomenal condi tion. $3295/0B0. 734-8296. VW JETTA GLS, 1998, sedan, 4 dr., green, 4-cyl/2.0L, 5 spd., FWD. 52,321 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags, flip-up roof. Best price, $8996. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

cyl/2.0L, engine, manual shift, PL, PW, power mirrors, cruise control. Leather, moon roof, alloy wheels, cassette, CD, pre mium sound. 4 all-season tires and 4 studded winter tires. 37K miles. Asking $13,900/0B0. Todd, 878-8514 x49.

utility, 4 dr., white, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 36,635 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, ABS. Best price, $12,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. PONTIAC AZTEK, 2002, sport utility, 4 dr., maroon, V6/3.4L, auto., AWD. 16,214 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., front/side air bags, ABS. Best price, $17,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

OLDSMOBILE INTRIGUE GX, 1999, sedan, 4 dr., blue, V6/3.5L, auto., FWD. 26,208 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags, ABS. Best price, $9790. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

Cadillac • Pontiac w w w .S h e a re rP o n tia c .c o m -

SAAB 9000 TURBO, 1990 Silver with m aroon leather, 5 spd., PW, PL, sunroof, heated seats, cruise. Good condition. Runs great. 150K miles. S2200/OBO .

SUBARU IMPREZA, 1994,

TOYOTA COROLLA CE, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., silver, 4-cyl/1.8L, auto., FWD. 34,190 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $8990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

8 0 2 -7 3 4 -8 2 9 6

TOYOTA COROLLA VE, 2000,

► tracks FORD RANGER, 2001, super,

Cadillac • Pontiac

CARPOOL

CO NNECTIO N

Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed.

Call

864-0211

RICHMOND to BERLIN. I afn looking to share driving M-F, some flexibility, 7 :3 0 am - 4 pm. ( 4 0 5 1 6 ) BURLINGTON to BURLINGOTN I am looking for a ride from North Ave. to Fletcher Allen, 3 pm - 1 1 :3 0 pm. (4 0 4 5 2 ) BURLINGTON to ESSEX I am looking for a ride M-F, 7 am - 5 pm. ( 4 0 4 7 2 ) S. BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER I am looking to share driving M-Th,

GMC VAN, 1988, 3/4 ton, new transmission, heavy duty, new positraction, rear end, good brakes. 350 V-8, new exhaust. Runs great. $1400/0B0. Call 878-5194. NISSAN PICKUP, 1991, w/cap, black, auto., RWD. Recent brakes, shocks, tires. Runs great. 125K miles. $1150. Call evenings or leave message any time. 864-1172.

CHEVROLET BLAZER, 2000,

sedan, 127K miles, AWD, 5 spd. Good winter tires. Clean, no sig nificant rust. Blue book, $2400. 802-454-8404.

ESSEX JCT to WILLSTON. I work M-F from 9 am - 5 pm. ( 4 0 5 4 2 )

sport utility, 2 dr., beige/tan, V6/4.3L High Output, auto., 4WD. 31,714 miles, LS, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags. Best price, $12,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

sedan, auto., leather interior. Well maintained, no rust. Nokia snow tires and all season radials. High mileage, but still drives great. $2200. 828-3224, days, 253-1908, eves. SAAB 9000 TURBO, 1990, sil ver with maroon leather, 5 spd., PW, PL, sunroof, heated seats, cruise. Good condition. Runs great. 150K miles. $2200/0B0. 734-8296. SAAB 900S, 1994, blue, PW, PL, 6 CD changer, cass., 5 spd. Excellent condition. Drives fan tastic. 4 new Nokia snows. 180K miles. $2900/0B0. 734-8296.

Interested in forming a van pool?

802 658-1212

CHEVROLET BLAZER, 1999,

SAAB 9000 CDT, 1992, blue

sedan, 4 dr., white, 4-cyl/1.8L, auto., FWD. 43,599 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $7990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

Cadillac • Pontiac w w w .S h e a re rP o n tia c .c o m

► suvs

802 658-1212

CHCTTOtOW COUNTY ■ coum THANlfOHTATION ■ ■ THAN! ■ ■ AUTHORITY AUTHC

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OLDSMOBILE INTRIGUE GL,

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am- 5 pm. (4 0 4 9 7 )

COLCHESTER to BURLINGTON. I am looking for a ride M-F, 9 or 1 0 a.m. until the evening. Slightly flexible. (4 0 4 9 1 ) COLCHESTER to S. BARRE. I am look ing to share driving, M-F, 8 : 3 0 a.m. 4 :3 0 p.m. ( 4 0 4 9 8 ) RICHMOND to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking to share a commute, M, W, Th, F, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. ( 4 0 5 2 7 ) UNDERHILL to STOWE. I am looking to share driving, M-F, flexible times. (4 0 5 5 2 )

cab, 4 dr., blue, V6/4.0L, auto., 4WD. 19,265 miles, XLT, A/C, PS, cruise, AM/FM/CD, ABS, stepside bed. Best price, $15,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

sport utility, 4 dr., black, V6/4.3L, auto., 4WD. 24,318 miles, LT, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, wide tires. Best price, $16,900. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CHEVROLET BLAZER, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/4.3L, auto., 4WD. 30,120 miles, LT, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, ABS. Best price, $15,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CHEVROLET TRACKER, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr„ blue, 4cyl/2.0L, auto., 4WD. 29,748 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, roof rack. Best price, $11,890. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

NISSAN PATHFINDER LE, 1999.5, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/3.3L, auto., 4WD. 34,326 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags. Best price, $18,980. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

BURLINGTON to WATERBURY. I am looking to share a commute, M, W, F, various times, some flexibility. (4 0 5 5 4 )

BURLINGTON to NORTHFIELD. I am looking to share driving, M-F, 8 a.m. 5 p.m. ( 4 0 4 4 2 )

ESSEX to WINDSOR. I am looking to share driving, T, W, Th, very flexible hours. (4 0 5 5 5 )

CHARLOTTE to MONTPELIER. I am looking to share driving with a nonsmoker, Tues.-Th„ 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. or 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. ( 4 0 4 4 8 )

BURLINGTON to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking for a ride during regular busi ness hours. ( 4 0 4 1 4 ) BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I am looking for a ride, M-F, 8 a.m. - 4 : 3 0 p.m. ( 4 0 4 1 5 ) UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON. I am looking to share driving, M-F, 8 a.m. 5 p.m. ( 4 0 4 1 7 ) BROOKFIELD to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking for a ride during regular busi ness hours. ( 4 0 4 3 9 ) MONTPELIER to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking for a ride, M-F, 8 a.m. - 3 p.m., but I can stay as late as 4 :3 0 . (4 0 4 4 1 )

BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER. I am looking for a ride, 2 - 3 days a week, during regular business hours. (4 0 4 4 9 ) S. BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER. I am looking to share driving, M-F, 8 : 3 0 a.m. - 4 : 3 0 p.m. ( 4 0 4 8 1 )

► minivans DODGE CARAVAN, 2000, minivan, green, 4-cyl/2.4L, auto., FWD. 25,465 miles, second slid ing door, 7 passenger, A/C, PS, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $8990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PLYMOUTH VOYAGER SE, 2000, minivan, silver, V6/3.3L, auto., FWD. 33,510 miles, sec ond sliding door, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $11,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. PONTIAC MONTANA, 2002, ext. minivan, 4 dr., white, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 28,023 miles, 7 pas senger seating, A/C, rear air, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, roof rack, privacy glass. Best price, $17,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

► auto wanted STRUGGLING YOUNG MAN des perately seeking a reliable auto mobile. In need of a very afford able or FREE car for work. Your donation may be tax deductible. 598-3193.

GreenMountainCars.com Over 2000 used cars, trucks and SUVs with photos and details from Vermont Dealers.

GreenMountainCars.conf

p.m., and then leave after 6 :4 5 p m. (4 0 5 5 0 )

COLCHESTER to WILLISTON. I am f> looking for a ride from Colchester j Village to Hercules Dr., M-F, 7 a.m. - 3 jj p.m. (4 0 5 5 6 ) BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride, M-F, 8 : 3 0 a.m., possibly ear-; lier. ( 4 0 5 5 7 ) MONTPELIER to BURLINGTON. I am looking to share driving, M, T, W, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m., but can be flexible. (4 0 5 6 0 )

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I am looking for a ride, M-F, during regular business hours. ( 4 0 5 0 7 S. BURLINGTON to HINESBURG. I am looking for a ride, M-F, 5 a.m., flexible (4 0 5 3 8 ) BURLINGTON to JOHNSON. I am look ing for a ride, W, anytime before 4

It'll make your head spin. Get on the Road with Seven Days Auto Classifieds: A great way to find and sell wheels.

Just $14 for 3 weeks. Contact Jess at: 864-5684, Fax: 865-1015 email: classified@sevendaysvt.com Snail Mail: PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

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28B | december 18-25, 2002 I SEVEN DAYS

WELLN E S S AAH H H H H.. ► holistic health EARTH SPIRIT HEALING, Holistic Healing Center: Offering herbal consultations, hypnothera py, acupuncture, massage, ener getic therapy and more. Prof essional practitioners. Open daily, Waitsfield. 496-2240 or www.earthspirithealing.com.

► massage 90 MINUTES OF RELAXATION and rejuvenation for only $50. The perfect gift for yourself and loved ones. Feel your best. Emily Kniffin, Massage Therapist, 6517579.

AROMATHERAPY/SHAMANIC JOURNEY: Healing massage for men. Realize your full potential through a massage/journey experience. Peaceful country set ting. Call Steven 434-5653.

AROUSING THE BODY AND SOUL MASSAGE for men with Sergio Corrales, CMT. December Special, second massage free with new booking. Reactivate the unity between body and soul through Reiki and Deep Tissue Massage. In/out calls accepted. Burlington area. 324-8235. BLISSFUL HEALING by Molly Segelin. Massage Therapist who puts the glow back in your mind, body and spirit, while therapeu tically relea-Xg tension and healing pain. Special offer, $40 for 75 mins. Gift certificates available. For appointments call 598-49£2—

H A V IN G A BABY?

COUPLES MASSAGE: In the same room or next door to each other. Great for first-timers or stubborn partners. Will travel. Gift certificates available. Call Christina or Carter at 658-4316. ESCAPE THE COLD and experi ence warmth and total relaxation with massage this winter. Combination of Shiatsu and Swedish will transport you and heated stones will melt you. Call Kristin 862-1231 for appointment. JOY OF BEING HEALING ARTS: Intuitive, integrated body work. Energy healing, Swedish, Thai, Shiatsu, Craniosacral Therapy, Reflexology, REIKI, LaStone Therapy, deep tissue. Ten years of experience. Gift certificates available. Nancy Bretschneider, LMT, 363-5282/434-4447. METTA TOUCH, Thai Yoga Massage: Integration of gentte stretching, massage & accupressure techniques. Release stress & become energized! Blythe Kent, Certified Practitioner. Downtown Burlington, flexible schedule. 862-2212.

MOONLIGHT MASSAGE: Journey into the realms of relax ation. Therapeutic massage for . men. Evening appointments only. Available in the comfort and privacy of your home or hotel. Contact Owen, 802-3555247, moonlightmassage.com.

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE SERVICES/MYOTHERAPY: Relief and pain erasure for chronic, recurring, nagging pain: neck, back, shoulder, carpal tunnel, tendonitis, headaches, sciatica. Certified Therapist, 11 years. 802-288-1093, Williston (near Taft Corners).

► space for rent BURLINGTON: Cozy massage therapy space available in pri vate practice psychotherapy office. Maple Street Associates, 231 Maple St., Burlington. Private parking. 862-9339. BURLINGTON: Part-time mas sage therapy space available downtown. Massage Therapy and Healing Arts, 270 College St. Call 651-7832 or 862-8008.

► personal coach COACHING IS ABOUT EXPAND ING people's capacity to take effective action. Achieving high er levels of performance while bringing out the best in yourself and those around you. Free con sultation. 802-865-7865.

► psychics MALE WITCH. Psychic readings and counseling. Casting and removal of spells. Contact with spirits. Call 24/7. Tom 800-4193346. Credit/Debit Cards. Get your lover back. (AAN CAN)

"Whatever you

that utilizes a variety of healing energies such as Reiki and Shamanistic-based earth princi ples to help you identify and understand your energetic issues. Call 802-777-8448 to make your appointment or visit www.healingspiritvt.com.

► support groups FREESTYLER SUPPORT GROUP FOR MEN: Starting support group for crossdressing men who are interested in freedom of fashion to wear skirts, blouses, hose, etc. I would like to hold meetings in the Burlington area. Please contact Joel or Jill atjlo@together.net or call 453-3529.

DIVORCED, SEPARATED 8> NEVER MARRIED MEN. Meet one Saturday night, each month in Burlington area to play cards, play ping pong, laugh, order pizza and shoot the breeze. Drop in as you please. Call 879-0231.

CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER: Individuals caring for family members, neighbors and friends discuss common issues, share ideas and receive support. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, Thursday, October 24, 10 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4414.

Every 3rd Tuesday of the month, 7-9 p.m. Christ Church Presby terian, UVM, Burlington. Info, 482-5319. People mourning the loss of children, grandchildren or siblings find help and support. PROSTATE CANCER: The second and fourth Tuesday of the month, 5 p.m. Board Room of Fanny Allen Hospital, Colchester. Info, 800639-1888. This "man-to-man" support group deals with disease.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various loca tions. Free. Info, 863-2655. Over eaters get support in addressing their problem.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS:

Looking for persons interested in forming a support group for activities in the Burlington area. Info, 656-3280.

Daily meetings in various loca tions. Free. Info, 860-8382. Want to overcome a drinking problem? Take the first step of 12 and join a group in your area. AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Seven other loca tions also. Info, 860-8388. Do you have a friend or relative with an alcohol problem? Al-Anon can help.

"HELLENBACH" CANCER SUP PORT: Every other Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Middlebury. Call to verify meeting place. Info, 388-6107. People living with cancer and their caretakers convene for support. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS: Mon., 6-7 p.m. Wed. 6:45-8:30 p.m. Sat. 10-11:30 a.m. For info call Brenda at 985-5655.

INNER WAVES H e lp in g p e o p le h e a L B g r o w b y intt^ra tim ;

St. Burlington or 862- 0836^

862-8806

and magic in it.”

COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS:

WIDOWS & WIDOWERS:

• Physical Therapy aJ ♦ Resonant Kinesiology

G ift Certificates available for diverse bodywork

boldness has

Ongoing Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4830. Area men are invit ed to join this weekly group for varied discussions and drumming.

cuss ways to begin healing. Women's Rape Crisis Center, Burlington, 6-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0555. DIVORCED PEOPLE: If you are separated, thinking of separat ing, in the process of divorce, or just divorced, I'm thinking about starting a loose group where such people can get together and talk, whine, have some fun, and maybe even get together. Perhaps there is life after him or her. If interested email Bob at bberman@ttiglobal.com or call/lv msg. at 802-388-0779. BEYOND SURVIVAL: A self-help support group for women healing from childhood sexual abuse. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. 658-3198.

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30B I december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

fre e w ill a s t r o lo g y

BYLROB-BREZSM^. m

D E C E M B E R 1 9 -2 5

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your expanded weekly horoscope 1-900-950-7700. $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone.

A R IE S

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I predict that you will be more lighthearted about love in 2003. I see you taking yourself less seriously as you seek riper versions of romance and inti macy. I envision you injecting more humor into your sexual experiences. Here, then, are my suggestions about what holiday gifts you should give yourself: 1. a bumper sticker that reads, “I am no longer looking for the perfect partner.* I am my own perfect partner.” 2. Steve Penny’s booklet, “How to Have Great Laughing Sex.” 3. White boxers or silk panties on which you’ve used a felt-tip marker to write a goofy prayer or love spell.

T A U R U S (Apr. 20-May 20): Happy Holy Daze, Taurus! I predict that you will be getting to the bot tom of everything in 2003. I envi sion you exploring mysteries that have previously been off-limits to your conscious awareness. I see you building a rock-solid foundation that will serve you for years to come. Though this work will be richly rewarding to you, it may tend to be invisible to other people. If I could get you a holiday gift to aid you in your work, it would be a magical communication device with which you could always express to your lo/ed ones exactly what you needed. G E M IN I (May 21-June 20): Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I predict that you will be very grounded and tough-minded in 2003; I envision you having the power to walk into any room and establish yourself as a weighty presence; I imagine you cul tivating a variety of piercing gazes and commanding tones o f voice to deal with the higher-than-usual intensity levels. In meditating about what symbolic holiday gift might

further these developments, I’ve decided on a pair of sharkskin shoes. If none of your allies has the fore sight to buy you this boon, get it for yourself.

C A N C E R (June 21-July 22): Happy Holy Daze, Cancerian! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holi day gifts for you. What might inspire you to be in closest align ment with the cosmic currents in 2003? Here are two ideas: horseback riding lessons and your very own horse. With the psychological mas tery and physical courage you’d build by blending your energy with that of a large, robust animal, you’d enhance your personal power in just the right way to meet the earthy tests o f the coming months. You’d develop an instinct to conquer the fears that have the greatest potential to trip you up, and you’d always know how to rein in your raw energy so as to expand your command. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! I’ve been meditat ing on what holiday gifts might encourage you to take maximum advantage of your astrological oppor tunities in 2003. O f this I’m certain: They don’t include a $4000 TV or a lime-green BMW or a set of original celebrity portraits by Andy Warhol. While expensive treasures like these might temporarily boost your mood and stature, they’d do little to bring more educational excitement into your life — and that’s what you real ly need. Here, then, are the types of gifts I hope you’ll ask for or give yourself: a trip to a storytelling festi val at a desert oasis outside of Marrakesh, Morocco; a workshop to enhance your relationship skills at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York; a pilgrimage to the holy places of your ancestors; audio books

to sharpen your mind during your commute.

V IR G O

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Virgo! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday presents for you. What might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2003? One recurring vision I have is of cheap gag gifts like whoopie cushions, fake ice cubes containing plastic flies, metal cans that purport to contain shelled peanuts but erupt with spring-loaded toy snakes when you open them up and pencil sharpeners shaped like a human nose. Why these? It’s not so much that I think you need to liberate your inner child in the coming months, though that would be beneficial. What I’m even more interested in is inspiring you to be a bit more mischievous and a lot less literal. You’ll be amazed at how much your chances for success will improve if you don’t follow the rules quite so strictly.

day gifts for you. What might inspire you to be in closest align ment with the cosmic currents in 2003? Here’s what I’d give you if I could: 1. your own personal flag, customized with a design that sym bolizes your growing authority; 2. a coat of arms that honors both your ancestral past and the unique style with which you’re transcending your ancestral past; 3. a constitution or mission statement that encodes your highest ideals; 4. a scepter, crown, ring, and throne that make you feel like the royal ruler o f a thriving domain.

S A G IT T A R IU S (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for you. What might inspire you to make best use o f the astrological opportu nities in the coming months? Here’s one idea: the entire costume collec tion of a defunct theater company. With your closet full o f exotic and dramatic new choices, you could dress up in a variety o f roles without becoming attached to any o f them. And that, in my opinion, would be just what the soul doctor ordered for you to achieve prime psychological health during the Great Experiment that will unfold in 2003.

L I B R A (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra! What could you do to make yourself more swashbuckling in 2003? What new influences will encourage you to leap into the surprising adventures that’ll often be available in the coming months? I suggest that you ask for or give yourself holiday gifts that will C A P R IC O R N (Dec. 22inspire you in this direction. How Jan. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I’ve been meditating on about a scale model o f a pirate ship for your home altar, for instance? Or the perfect holiday gift for you. maybe a sword-and-sorcery roleWhat might inspire you to be in playing game like Dungeons and ,. . closest alignment with the cosmic Dragons? The best gift o f all might currents in 2003? Here’s what I’d be a posable action figure made in give you if I could: a weathervane in your image. Think you can swing the form o f an eagle made of solid that? gold. With that as your guiding image, you’d never forget how valu SC O R P IO (Oct. 23-Nov. able it’ll be to know which way the 21): Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! I’ve wind is blowing. The trends sweep ing through your environment will been meditating on the perfect holi

be shifting frequently in the coming months, and so will your moods. You should be constantly surveying the ever-changing patterns from above, like an eagle in the hunting mode, ready to descend and pounce whenever your mood comes into sync with the current trend sweeping through your environment.

A Q U A R IU S

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius! Usually I encourage you to keep cul tivating the broad-minded, visionary viewpoints that come so naturally to you. In 2003, I will, in addition to that, be urging you to bolster your mastery of intricate details. To help you remember to think small as often as you think big, I suggest you ask your allies to give you one of the following symbolic gifts this holiday season: a magnifying glass, a micro scope, a map of the human genome or the video called Powers o f 10, which shows images ranging from the Milky Way Galaxy to the nucle us o f a carbon atom.

P I S C E S (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I predict that it will be crucial for you to take matters into your own hands in 2003. You should constantly ask yourself, “What will inspire me not to depend on the so-called experts?” and “What will ensure that I never just sit around waiting for lucky breaks to provide my momentum?” Here, then, is my suggestion about what holiday gift you should ask for or give yourselfi^a doMttJytKxreelf kit that suits your specific field of endeavor; something that helps you set up your own corporation, for instance, or create your own rituals, or turn your brainstorm into a sal able product, or make your own compost bin or hot tub or pleasure cruiser. ®

last week's answers on page 29b ACROSS 1 Velvety burrower 5 Welcome item? 8 Belfry sound 12 Most rational 18 In the course of 19 Actor Auberjonois 20 Betting setting 21 "Electric — ” (’83 hit) 22 Sitarist Shankar 23 TV’s "The — of Night” 24 Toast topper 25 Elastic band 26 My doctor told me . . . 30 Chip’s chum 31 Made one’s mark 32 Cry of disgust 33 Salivate 36 Slangy sib 37 Bum 39 AAA handout 42 My dentist told me . . . 48 Ending for “auction” 49 Pitch in 50 Wrath

51 Stationed 52 It’s out of this world 55 Clouts a cad 57 Milk mea surement 58 Arthur or Pons 61 Cockpit fig. 62 Stephen of “The Crying Game” 63 Bishop of Rome 65 Summer top 68 My mechanic told me . . . 73 Thousand — , CA 74 Jeremy Fisher, for one 75 Scand. nation 76 — Tome 77 Giovanni or Rickies 78 Rotisserie part 80 Jeeves’ profession 82 Sitcom set in Nantucket 84 Shun 86 Quick snack 87 Hold the title 88 Gotta Be Me” (’69 hit)

91 My accoun tant told me... 97 Switch board abbr. 98 Smidgen 99 Med. test 100 Bald bird 101 Cold-war accord 103 Pub order 104 Comic Sahl 106 My son’s teacher told me... 114 Pester 116 Dickens villain 117 Turgenev’s birthplace 118 Screen writer James 119 Verdi opera 120 Ages 121 “Good gracious!” 122 Liberate 123 “Children should — ..." 124 Bump 125 Dover’s st. 126 Semester DOWN 1 Shopping center 2 Actor Epps 3 Roman historian 4 Correct a text

5 Olympic award 6 Harmon or Dickinson 7 Rock hound? 8 Claim 9 Sniggled 10 From the top 11 Bow part 12 Southwest ern sticker 13 — garde 14 “Revenge of the — ” (’84 film) 15 Middle Earth denizens 16 Author Grafton 17 Dist. 19 Entertain lavishly 27 Bouquet 28 Geometry term 29 Spout like Cicero 33 Ti/m blue? 34 Caviar 35 Yours and mine 36 Turf 37 Food fish 38 Urges 39 Sandwich spread 40 Sleeve contents? 41 Third degree?

43 Element 44 Speak with a forked tongue 45 Roth — 46 Kimono closer 47 Devilfish 53 Good buddy 54 High up 55 Make a muumuu 56 Singer Cleo 57 Pie nut 58 Jacket info 59 Letter from Athens 60 Invites on a date 62 Henley happening 64 Model’s job 66 — Dinh Diem 67 He’s a doll 69 “A Dandy in — ” (’68 film) 70 Communist council 71 Plant disease 72 Grab all the goodies 79 Ms. Lupino 81 Wahine’s wreath 82 1914-18 letters 83 Perform in “Parsifal" 84 Backer 85 — populi

86 Gravy ingredient 87 Assoc. 89 Cubic meas. 90 Lady of the lea 92 “Without You” singer 93 Backslide 94 Got by, witf “out" 95 Announce 96 Birminghan bye-bye 101 Marshy lowland, 102 Usher’s beat 103 Winning 104 Highway sign 105 Ron of “Superfly” 106 Infuriates 107 Impatient interroga tive 108 Architect Saarinen 109 — the line (obeyed) 110 Huck’s craft 111 Brute 112 — -do-well 113 Appear to be 114 Elf 115 Gobbled UP

SEVENDAYS

december 18-25, 2002 t 7Dpersonals 31B

PERSO NALS p la c e o n e f o r f r e e

women>men

w h a t 's

23 YO, BF, LOOKING FOR A FUN, CASUAL relationship. Seeking college educated M, 20-30 YO.4924___________________________

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ASIAN BLACK BISEXUAL CHRISTIAN COUPLE CROSS DRESSER DIVORCED FEMALE FEMALE-TO-MALE FULL-FIGURED GAY HISPANIC IN SEARCH OF JEWISH LATINO/A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP MALE MARRIED MALE-TO-FEMALE NATIVE AMERICAN .NO DRUGS

NON-SMOKING NO ALCOHOL PROFESSIONAL QUEER SINGLE TRANSSEXUAL WHITE WIDOWED YEARS OLD

LETS START THE NEW YEAR TOGETHER! Petite DWF, mid-5o’s. Me: Carebear, bright, happy, healthy, considerate, financially/ emotionally stable, great sense of humor, adventurous. Love cuddling, etc., dancing, hiking, cooking, great food, long talks, animals, togetherness. NS/NA/ND. You: Same.4922 25 YO, PRETTY, OUTGOING, ANIMAL LOVER, single mom, looking for a “good man", with similar interests. Call for those, lets go for a walk. If you have children and animals, even better. Friends or LTR, let’s see what transpires. 4 9 0 7 ______________________________ SWF, 48, LOOKING FOR MAN WHO LOVES to dance in the kitchen while making dinner. Must enjoy laughing, music, sensuality, road trips to nowhere in particular, good wine, great conversation. Call me with your idea of a perfect evening. 4904____________________ SWF, JULIETTE BINOCHE-TYPE, 40. HAS played Eliza Doolittle and Yum-Yum, now plays fiddle. Amateur painter, master seamstress. Likes George Eliot and Eliot Spitzer. Seeks man who laughs at himself and George Bush.4886____________________ WF, 60s NS, LOOKING FOR FUN LOVING, car ing M. I like NFL, 50’s music, watching sunrise/sunsets, bingo, coffee conversation. Game for new things.4827 33 YO, EUROPEAN, SWEET AND GENTLE, starved for knowledge, bewitched by art, concerned with right knowing, right seeing and «ght action, ISO intellectually.engaging gentleman for meaningful friendship/LTR. You must like kids and accents.4825 _________ AVAILABLE SWF, 46, FF SEEKING COMPANION for trips to Montreal and Boston. Dining, movies, shopping, real estate. Intellectual, goal/health oriented.4816 MISCHIEVOUS BROWN-EYED GIRL (ALIAS 5'2,* 48 YO, DWPF). ISO 45+, M companion for winter fun like snowshoeing, skating, laughter, mutual warming, city nights out. My shy, conservative exterior hides my, hmmm. Care to find out? NS, S/D. 4811 DWF, 45. SEEKS SIGNIFICANT OTHER FOR skiing, dancing, sailing, nature, fun. MRG skier, NS, P, kid, cat, horse friendly. Art, literate, lefty preferred. 4794 ________________________

. i t 's

SWF, 32, MOTHER OF 2, ISO SWM, 24-39, who enjoys movies, dining, music and dancing. If interested please respond.4792

fre e !

EQUESTRIENNE TIRED OF RIDING THE RANGE alone. Only family I have left is my horse & dog, but more than ready to adopt yours and make VT home again. Not dealing with 40 until I find someone to grow up with. If you’re not overweight/smoker, prove to me you’re fun/monogamous. 4789_____________

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LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MENI IDEALLY, ages 45-55, for occasional outings and intelligent conversation. Lots of soul sisters. Now seeking some male energy in my life. Not ready for heavy romance, drama, commitment right now.4719 ______________ ATTRACTIVE, SLENDER, DARK-EYED, progressive and delightful SPF. ISO creative SPM, 44-50. Life’s about deep friendship, family, travel, sensuality, and cooking ethnic food together with a glass of wine in one hand and your lover in the other. 4717

CALL TO RESPOND

GYPSY PIRATE QUEEN SEEKS OFFSHORE druid for lake/ocean race and cruise adventures, crew or skipper. Must be kid/pet friendly, emotionally and financially able, educated. Prefer skier, dancer, visual learner, museum fan, progressive. No captain Blyes, Taurus’, jug huggers.4710 SWPF, 40-SOMETHING, YOUTHFUL, PETITE, honest, creative, expressive, spiritual hedonist, emotionally mature. Enjoys: Nature, outdoor activities, dining out, culturally diversified interests, music, travel, intellectual/silly banter. ISO: Fit, available man with similar traits/ interests for friendship/fun. No alcoholics/ addicts. 4705 SPF, ATTRACTIVE, VERY FIT, INTELLIGENT, fun, sense of humor, loves outdoor sports, animals, good conversation. Looking for similar, 42-50, possible LTR.4641______________ SWF, 40, TALL, SLIM, TWO FINE TEENAGERS. Musician, craftsperson, actress, gardener, singer. Preferences include Jane Austen, The New Yorker, Woody Allen, France, Colorado and dark chocolate.4634

w w w .7 D p erso n als.co m

LET THE SPARKS FLY! SWEET, CUTE AND fun SWF 22. ISO intelligent, hardworking, health-conscious, attractive, respectful, and playful SM, NS/ND, 22-28, interested in taking it slow. I love traveling, reading, cultural activities, and outdoor sports! 4423

SOUTH OF MONTPELIER, INTERESTED IN friendship and romantic connections with men, 45-55, who have similar interests such as hiking, biking, playing music and dancing. Be ready for fun and for developing a loving relationship. 1 have summers off! 4413

BAGGAGE HANDLER: BY NOW (40s) WE ALL have some. I’ll handle mine, you handle yours. We enjoy the rest of the trip loving, laughing, thus lightening it as we go. Sensible, passionate, 5*4", 140 lbs., blue/brown, reader. Montpelier area. ISO mate. 4419________________________________

LETS CELEBRATE THE DANCE OF LIFE & explore its unique magic &. mystery. SWPF, youthful, attractive, warm, spiritual, who enjoys tennis, dance, travel & hiking. Seeks gentleman, 45-62, who is kind, intelligent, soulful, romantic and open to possible mutually nourishing LTR. 4407

DO YOU TREAT A WOMAN WITH RESPECT, not too religious but believes the command ments are how we conduct our lives, fitness is a way to extend life, thinks a woman’s laugh lines are the signs of wisdom/happiness. If you are, this, P, attractive, 39 YO, “lady” would like to hear from you! 4415

SPIRITED, WARM, MID-LIFE TRAVELER, READY to share laughter, dreams, dancing, quiet times, cooking secrets, long walks, friend ship, love. Definitely a city gal, country inns for retreat and romance. You are honest, optimistic, kind, progressive, playful and remember birthdays.4406

ME: ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIOUS community organizer seeking like-minded partner or friend. 23, fun loving, physically fit, involved with community gardening, love traveling, hiking, dancing and music. ISO 20something, kind-spirited winter playmate! 4609

FIT, FUN AND PLAYFUL SWPF, 41, PETITE, 118 lbs., enjoys the outdoors, working out, danc ing and movies. ISO LTR with SWPM, NS, 3748, who is intelligent, honest, secure, fit, fun, adventurous and has a sense of humor. 4605 30s, SWF, DESIRES TO SHARE TIME WITH emotionally mischievous, innately romantic and organically sweet man, 30’s to 40’s. Can you dive into the water and ride the waves of a new adventure? Call me! 4596 EARTH MOTHER SEEKS SOUL CONNECTION. 49 YO, SPFFF loves to laugh, outdoors, pick flowers, uplifting movies, healthy lifestyle, talk about what’s real. Spirituality, personal growth, transformation important. Friends & buddies first leading to LTR. Seeks S or DM. Any race, 4 0 -5 5 - 4 5 3 9 _____________________ WARMHEARTED PET LOVER, 51 YO WOMAN, returning to school. Looking for a lifelong learner and gentle adventurer. I like cooking at home and eating out, reading and nature. Diverse tastes in music and the arts. Curious, creative, practical RSVP.4527 CURIOUS, COMMITTED, ADVENTURESOME, 51 years young, counseling grad student with great joie de vivre. ISO kindred spirit, likeminded guinea pig who wants to create a healthy relationship.4512__________________ STEPDAUGHTERS SEEK NON-HIPPIE BABYboomer for their DWP stepmother. She’s a smart, attractive, petite, funny, fit P. We’d like to see her with an intelligent, witty, handsome, active man. She won’t be single long. Call soon and tell us about yourself!4510 SEARCHING: GENTLEMAN, 45-65. ATTRACTIVE, kind, generous, financially successful. From Woodstock or close surrounding area. To share the joys of this wonderful life with a 40 YO, attractive, sweetheart. No game players please. 4443_______________________ WANNA SEE TORI AMOS? HAVE VIP SEATS. 23 YO in Gothic hippie-style seeks long haired grunge god to attend Tori's concert on the 20th of November. You: Attractive (confident), intellectual (curious), original (one-of-a-kind). Meet me first. 4427

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th e

lo v e c o u n s e lo r

Dear Lola, My buddies and I were sitting around the other day when the topic of New Year's resolutions came up. One of my friends vowed that 2003 would be the year he finally stopped acting like a slut. To meet that goal, he very proudly announced, he would confine himself to no more than a dozen different lovers over the course of the year: sort of like the Playmate of the Month. To me, a dozen bed buddies still feels pretty darned promiscu ous. How many is too many in your book, Lola? Curious in Cornwall Dear Curious, In my book? M ost days, I'm sorry to say, I really can't handle more than one at a time. Some folks would say that more than one partner in the course of a lifetime is too many, unless death did them part at some point. Seriously, though, it's hard to come up with an absolute number. Rule of thumb: if you can't keep track of the count, you've probably reached your limit. Ditto if you find yourself spending all your free time mailing post-coital thank-you notes, each one to a different address. Happy New Year!

charge your credit card from any phone, anywhere, anytime:

1 800 710-8727 1 900 226-8480 -

or respond the old-fashioned way, call the 900-NUMBER:

Love, Lola

R E A C H O U T T O L O L A ... c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 lola@ sevendaysvt.com

32B | december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

PERSO NALS » p la c e o n e f o r f r e e w w w .7D p erson als.com LITHE AND LANKY FORMER DANCER SEEKS partner for exploring horse latitudes. SPM, 43, attractive, independent, genial, eligible. Both feet planted firmly in cheek. Enjoy xcountry skiing, bikes, kayaks. Entres nous: Care to trip the light fantastic?4702

men>women DON’T HIBERNATE THIS WINTER. SWPM, 41, skier, (on the hill, not over it) fit, fun, seeks SF skier/boarder/snowshoer for day trips, to mtns, maybe dinner, good conversation after. Experience not important, sense of humor is. 4908

YO SM. 5’7”, 140, BLUE EYES. ISO SHORT, big-breasted SF, likes TV, kids, music, partying. Would #4234 please contact me. I’m a smoker and drinker.4701 37

SWM, 24, BLUE-EYED, BLONDE, RUGGED hottie. Enjoys drinking. Into porn, like love making. Twins welcome. 420 friendly. Seeks attractive, 21-30 YO, for socializing and casual sex. Don’t respond unless your serious about being hot and have transportation.4902

4 5 YO, ATTRACTIVE, DWM SEEKING OLDER woman. I’m tall, handsome, funny, friendly and passionate. I’m looking for someone who needs good times and romance. Weight, age, status unimportant.4699

A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOU! LETS EXCHANGE gifts. On the inside after the layers come off, you’ll find pure love, caring, and kindness. Earthiness. This mid-aged runner, 5’9 ”, 160 lbs., writer, artist hopes to find a gift. One of love, kindness and caring. NS.4895

36 YO, SUBARU M, LOOKING FOR SUBARU woman with two college degrees, need for adventure and world saving attitude. I play like a dog and lick like one too. Be alive.4696 THIS ENDORSEMENT BROUGHT TO YOU by the lucid, mirthful F, best friend of one of the few remaining “good guys.” He: Authentic, considerate, talkative, affectionate and appropriately goofy. You: At ease with yourself and open to that pesky love stuff.4695

SEEKING WOMEN, “AWARE’’ OF THE "JOY” from within that will be expressed outwardly in relationship when consorting with an Jnsightfgl and aspiring M, she is probably late 3o’s-4o’s.489i

HIGH MARKS FOR INTEGRITY AND HUMOR. SWM, 52, with the good life. Many interests. Many friends. In shape and financially secure, college educated P. Prefer physically fit, attractive. 30-50, with sense of humor.4649

I’M A SWM, 39, 180 LBS., WITH BROWN HAIR. I have many interests and would like to meet women, 30-50, who enjoy sports plus all types of music. I hope to meet someone special. I’m not hazardous to your health. 4889

CAPITAL CITY CATCH, SMART, POLITE, FUN loving, fit, slightly devilish in a good way, 34 YO WM. ISO easygoing, bright, active, a little wild, likes to laugh, 24-39 YO F. Better than winter’s best? Sharing with you!4648

FRIENDSHIP FIRST! FINANCIALLY SECURE, active, fit, humorous, college-educated SPM. Seeks SWF, 33-44, to share gourmet cooking, lake swimming, hiking, motorcycling, mean ingful conversation and your likes too.4828

ATTRACTIVE, FUN, RESPONSIBLE, AFFECTION ater, athletic, musical, dog lover, home with view, 38 YO SWM. Enjoys: Hiking, biking, camping, movies, country music, dancing, Sunday drives, wine & candlelight dinner. Friends, laughter. ISO NS, special SWF, 2740, attractive, slim, fun, responsible, for friendship, LTR.4642

37.

6’4”, 200 LBS., DOWN-TO-EARTH, compassionate, young man. Interested in dat ing a woman with the same qualities who is also gentle, honest and reliable. I’m a homeowner who likes books, reading, writing and listening to music.4826 HOPE SANTA READS PERSONALS. PLEASE bring me a woman, 30-48, who is slender to medium build, who loves to laugh, share special moments and is as affectionate as I am. I’m a smoker, 420 friendly, very loving, many interests.4824

WANNA BE RABBITSI GOOD BODY, GOOD heart, good mind. Looking to live time with certainly sexy, sweet smelling, bodacious beauty who likes what she likes but is not too stubborn. Me: 26 YO, SWM, looking.4633

EARLY 20S, SWM. HEALTH CONSCIOUS, smart, funny, hard worker, occasional drinker/smoker, 420 friendly, to responsible for my own good. Seeks athletic, WF, 20-25 for LTR. Start slow and see where it takes us! 4820

LOVE THE OUTDOORS? LOOK NO FURTHER. SWM, 34, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Fit, attractive, funny & sensitive. Enjoy hiking, cooking, running, movies, snowshoeing, music, animals & nature. Seeking SWF, 27-36, fun, fit. 4632

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION. DWM TO rediscover fun, conversation, candles, sunrises, sunsets with S/DWF, 40+, in reasonable shape and independent. Give me a call and share your New Year’s resolution!48i8 KELLY 2009 FROM VERGENNES (KIND LADY ISO adventurous, gentle man) and Match.com. Open this door and see who is knocking. Let’s walk & talk.4812

SHE’S OUT THERE: SWEET, SENSUAL, SEXY blue-eyed angel. Seeks to please, a little naughty, but nice, refined 81 unpretentious, 40-5oish. For her: Handsome, romantic, down-to-earth, athletic, successful, adventur ous, enjoys healthyliving, nature, theater, and the finer things in life. 4807 NINO KIND OF GUY SEEKING AMELIE KIND OF girl. 4 7 9 9

SWPM, NS, CLEAN CUT, VERY UNIQUE, 37, looking for friendship, fun, and LTR. ISO adventuresome, honest, nonsmoking SF, who has and wants more color in her life. All replies answered. 4798 NEED NO REPLY, JUST STOP BY WHERE THE S. Burlington mall buildings are blue. I will meet you. Think music. M, 60, ISO SF NS for friendship. Let’s visit.4718

O y k e S T ° W c tfc J l O u C f o r b y A lis o n BechdeJ

female trouble

BYAUSOM BCCHPEL I > \ HOP/NS FOR AN EVENING SHIFT, JUST To GET OUT"OF-THE HOUSE.. SPARROW AND 5 TJARTARE. DRIVING ME NUTS. SHE’S CONVINCE© SOMETH/NOT GONNA GO WRONG. H E 'S MANIACALLY UPBEAT. ITS LIKE LIVING WITHTHOMAS HOBBES AND

VTWW'.'Dyl^esToWa.^cJiOu??or.ne?

SWM, MID 50s, FIT, SOLVENT, CASUAL, honest, uninhibited, dry humor. Enjoy working at home, reading, leisure, frolicking, cooking, small dogs, imported beer, pampering, warm water, bandannas.4703

DM, 45, REPORTEDLY THOUGHTFUL AND attactive, ISO fit, country-minded environmen talist, 35-50, who prefers dirty fingernails to polished ones, someone who walks the walk and can let loose a laugh. Love of music and art a must. Appreciation of chocolate and Mad River Glen a plus.4627 21 YO, SWM SEEKS F TO BAR HOP. FRIEND is fine, more is much better. Central VT area a plus. Me: 6 ’o", 170 lbs., ND/NS, tan, fit, good-looking, up for anything. You: Fit, attractive, and fun. Let’s get together. 4610

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I 7Dpersonals 33B

charge your credit card from any phone:

or the old-fashioned way, call the 900-number:

1 800 710-8727 -

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

DEVOTED PART-TIME DAD OF BEAUTIFUL toddler. Enthusiastic long-distance runner, hiker, backcountry skier. Well-educated P. Progressive, health-conscious, introverted. 46, 5 7 ”. 150 lbs., fit, runner’s build. Central Vermont. ISO independent, fit, intelligent F, age, race, looks less important.4607________ I’M A SWM, 29, LOOKING FOR A SWF. THIN, cute, in the Burlington area and likes a guy who likes to have fun and make an ass out of himself. Can watch movies and spend the night holding one another and feeling like this is the place to be!46o2________________

I LOVE TO HIKE, CLIMB AND JAMI DO YOU? I can also chill out or be wild. SWM, 23, honest, humorous, great smile and very fun, seeking SWF, 21-27, to hang with, maybe more. Must be NS and ND. No kids.4408

SEEKING AN ANGEL 40 WORDS CANNOT begin to describe how wonderful the right SWF can be. So give this attractive, above average, nice and honest SWM, 38 YO, your consideration.4530 DON’T LET THE GRINCH RUIN YOUR HOLIDAYS. SWM, 46, 5’n ”, 170 lbs., seeks SWF or SBF, 30-50, for friendship and fun. Love to wine/dine, dance or just roast chestnuts over an open fire.4529 TALL DARK, HANDSOME WITH STRIKING BLUE eyes. Physically fit, P, with a funky, creative, artistic side. Seeks "arm candy”, beautiful athletic babe, 21-41 to share warm cozy nights with out on the town or indoors. Long legs a plus.4520

LADIES. ARE YOU SEEKING SECRET STRESS relief? Purely private pleasure? Handsome, Burlington area gentleman looking for discreet affair with S or MA woman. 40, 5 7 " , 145 lbs., clean, P. It’s absolutely nobody’s business but ours. Call me. 4501____________

SEXY, HONEST, DIVERSE, INTELLIGENT, SWM, 27, seeks similar for serious relationship. I’m intense, energetic, artistic, anti-mainstream. Prefer in a mate: NS, ND, TV free, and wears no makeup. Honesty with yourself and others a must. Prefer doers over dreamers.4425

COWGIRL GAVE UP ON COWBOYS. BORN Bl, have had both but am monogamous. ISO Dorothy to celebrate holidays and all days with. Will thank goddesses for you and yours (2 and 4-legged, except cats sorry) Me: Slim, NS, trusting, active, slightly femme. 4790

NORTH COUNTRY DYKE, NEW TO AREA: FIERCELY independent, honest and silly, with a mischievous twinkle in my hazel eyes. Would love to meet someone who doesn’t need to capture my independence like a bug in a jar.4601

SWM, 33, NS. LOVES KIDS. LIKES TO GO OUT to bars, crazy about NFL, WWF, movies, racing. ISO SWF, 25-40, NS, who loves kids and likes to have fun. LTR. 4404

|women>women LIKE GOING OUT, INTO MUSIC, BEING spontaneous, and seeing where life takes you? Me too! SWM, 27, fairly new to Burlington. ISO fit, clean NS, SF. Medical student or field a plus. Let’s meet and see what happens!4914 SGF.26, ISO GF TO SHARE LIFE WITH. I ENJOY “good beer”, dancing, music, romance, I love animals, looking for the special someone to spark up my life.4903_________

BI-CURIOUS, 41 YO, WM, 5*8”, 165 LBS. Attractive and fit. ISO 30-40 YO, WM with same curiosity. Must be NS/ND muscular and good-looking. Discretion a must. Let’s explore. 4899 40 YO SUBMISSIVE M, LOOKING FOR DAYTIME fun. Love to please. Black males welcome.

4897_________________________ _ 39 YO BIWM, GOOD SHAPE, HAIRY AND endowed, seeks guys any race for rugged, hot man-to-man action. I’m French, A/P, greek passive, kinky, S & M, B & D unwashed, hairy a plus. Discretion assured-4894 HOLIDAY HUMMER: BI-CURIOUS DWM, 44, trim, clean &. discreet. Seeks similar younger man who would like to receive jural fo r,.... Xmas. You be under 40, not overweight and clean. Any race or size.4892________ SWM, 26, HAIRY-CHESTED. LOOKING FOR M, 18-30, for first time at your home. A chubby like myself a plus.4822 GWM, 30, 5’9”, BROWN HAIR/EYES, 160 LBS., D &. D free. Seeking attractive, masculine man in uniform. Bi-curious welcome. A cop or man in the military most desired. Total discretion is assured. 4821 DWM, 50s, BI-CURIOUS, VERY ATTRACTIVE, great shape, into sports, roller blading, hockey, skiing, seeks MA and/or bi-curious guy to work out and play with. 4817 TM IN MY LATE 30s AND LIVE IN BURLINGTON. I’m looking to meet dudes, 18-26, for friend ship and also for that one special guy for an LTR. 4814 WANT IT HOT, BARE, RAW AND DISCREET? Want a negotiable scene? One-on-one, three some or more? Bareback tops and bottoms, 18+, any race. Discretion will be given and is expected. Don’t be shy call. 4805__________

FRIENDSHIP FIRST: MID 50s, LOOKING FOR friends with similar interests: Reading, traveling, cultural events, working out, running, dining out, movies, long walks, quiet nights at home. Let’s meet over coffee or wine and see what develops.4896 21 YO, ATHLETIC, CUTE, SARCASTIC AND charming SWF. Seeking 20-25 YO SF, who is fun, intelligent, motivated, intriguing and completely spontaneous. Friendship first, rnust be independent.4887

charge your credit card from any phone:

1 800 710-8727 -

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

SEEKING BONDAGE BUDDY TO HELP ME DUST off my gear. Ideally, I’m looking for a NS, athletic type young guy, Burlington area. Ethnic guys are encouraged to apply. I tike younger guys, but don’t limit myself. Personality more important than looks.48oo SGWM, 5’8”, 190 LBS., 58 YO. ISO MA males interested in receiving oral satisfaction. Age/Race Unimportant, cleanliness is. Guaranteed to please. Have videos, live alone, Burlington area. Afternoons or evenings.4795

WANTEDI GF, 25-40, FOR GREAT FRIENDSHIPS and possible LTR. You: Kind, sensitive, sincere, honest and not afraid to express yourself. If you like to camp, hike, hang with your dog, read and enjoy romance then answer this ad! ND.4532

YO SWF, SOFT BUTCH, WHO IS HONEST, funny, stable, hardworking, loves animals (especially cats). Enjoys movies, dining, dancing, and cuddling with that special someone. Seeks SF for dating, or possible LTR, but friendship first.47o8_____

HMMMM? ARE YOU AS CURIOUS AS I AM? MAF seeks an open-minded, fun and kinky woman to explore with me! Would like it to be our secret. Shhhh! Me: Petite, overweight but cute, 27 YO. You: Anyone who is fun and feminine between 21-35. Let’s have some

I’M A VIRGO, SWEET, KIND, WARM, FRIENDLY, loyal, caring, lots of fun to be with. I love people. I’m med. build, 165 lbs. Looking for that special one to share my life with. Love animals, camping, fishing, traveling, dancing, candlelight dinners, TV, music & more. I’m easygoing & lonely. 4635____________ DWPBIF, MID 40s, FIT, PETITE, ATTRACTIVE. Would love to explore my sensual side with a woman. Novice, ISO friendship (not LTR) and fun in/out of the bedroom with G/BIF, 30-50, attractive, fit, sensual, intelligent, patient, humorous, dean.4619

SGWM, 32, 6*4”, BR/BL, ENJOY LIVE MUSIC movies, dining, good conversation, snow boarding, scuba, etc. ISO cute, smooth, intelligent guy under 32 for friendship, fun, and/or LTR.4917

I DONT WANT TO DECORATE THE CHRISTMAS tree for you. I don’t want you to decorate it for me. I want us to decorate it together. Mentally and spiritually together GWM seeking GM for sane relationship.4901______

MAMA, ACTIVIST, SERIOUS ABOUT COZY flying, grounded and traveling all at once. Not for conventional anything, my heart needs to alight and spark,looking for sarcasm, and truth, knowledge seekers in this crazy world. 4720 37

men>men GWM: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO GOOD old-fashioned “necking?” Guys: I may not be the world’s fastest lover, but still I love “to date!” Call me for a great night out!4921

SWBIM ISO GUYS FOR FRIENDSHIP AND SEX. I’m very energetic and have a nice set of lips ready to use on you. D/D free, very discreet. Lay back relax and let me do the rest, 4912

Place one fo r free w w w .7 d p e rso n als.co m

THE LOVE YOU GET IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE you give, 4oish, 5’9", 150 lbs., youthful, proportionate, engaging, open-minded, appealing. Likes outdoor activities, travel, laughing, adventure, sunsets, photography, bad weather, life. Seeking 40-something women for travelmate and good times.445i

INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE ARTIST SEEKS bright adventurous woman for sensual play & friendship. I’m 50. healthy, fit, Bl & in an open, honest, long-term relationship. Priorities: Imagination, honesty, playfulness, intelligence & energy. Age unimportant, attitude is! Lets talk, let’s play.4430

LOOKING FOR WOMEN TO GET TO KNOW AS friends, maybe more. Me: Great sense of humor and personality, adventurous, sponta neous, love to go out dancing, movies, dining. Quiet times at home. You the same. Hope to hear from you ladies. 4618

CLICK ON INTERNET PERSONALS AND TYPE IN ONLINE SCREEN NAME

BURLINGTON AREA, 34 YO, DWPM. EDUCATED* fit, tall, sense of humor, outdoor person. Love to ski, hike, day trips, fun! Considerate, honest good person here looking for similar F friend, and then who knows! 4502

TOUR GUIDE WANTEDI I WAS BORN HERE raised in FL, now I’m home. Looking for a lady to show me around the area and see what happens between us. Hope you like sports, I’m a huge NASCAR and NFL fan.4432

GWF LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SPEND TIME with and passably something more. Enjoys music, theatre and just laughing. NS, 23-29. Not much into the party scene anymore. Really not one for hitting on people, kinda shy sometimes! 4885

7DPERSONALS.COM

CAMPAIGN MANAGER, LEFT-WING PROGRESsive, 44, suddenly with time on his hands, seeking solace, compassion and affection through the long, cold Republican winter. Sympathies with the underdog a must. 4504

YOUTHFUL LOOKING 18 YO. SPIRITUALLY Aquarius ISO 18-20 YO, who loves the ocean, taking walks or just snuggling.4436________

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

VIEW PHOTOS, SEND E-MAIL AND MODE! IN ADDITION TO LEAVING A VOICE MESSAGE, YOU CAN FIND THIS PERSON ON THE WEB AT

PASSIONATE, REFLECTIVE, ATTRACTIVE, athletic, 44 DWPM, into simplicity, nature and psychedelic music, not afraid to be vulnerable. Seeking same. You: Deep, sensual, earthy, 35-47, fit, NS, seriously seeking LTR. Montpelier area.4534

HONEST, HARDWORKING DWM, SEEKS SWF, 35-45, to share life’s tender moments. Must be able to step outside the box! 4442

@wnmw-screen name

REASONABLY CIVILIZED. WELL EDUCATED. Reader. Seeks to meet woman 45+ for buoyant repartee, romance, brisk walking, enjoyment of small adventures, reciprocal humor applied to exploration of “life’s persistent questions.” I reached age 60, which may be a matter of indifference or an attribute to you.4541

FUN-LOVING, MELLOW BUT INTENSE M seeks F, for 420 friendship and more. Sunsets, woods, mountain streams, windy ridges, tall trees, moonlit ski, wood stove comfort, island escape, energy, movement, stillness and quiet. Don’t postpone joy.4447_______

CALL TO RESPOND

VERY ADVENTUROUS, VERY YOUNG 36 YO. Educated, self-employed, political junky. Very athletic with youthful good-looks. I love hiking, cross-country/alpine/telemark skiing, coffee/ tea-time philosophizing by the wood stove, sun-filled mornings, moon and starlit nights. Seeking a similar F for fun and companionship without limits. 4417________________________

ATMAN: ATTRACTIVE, INCREDIBLY HEALTHY (body, mind & spirit), 45, DWM, central VT, contemporary monk. ISO fit, spiritually mature women for adventure and companionship on the Path. 4600_________________

1 900 226-8480

fun!4522

LOOKING FOR CUTE, 20-30 YO F, TO HAVE crazy times with. No commitment, very discrete. 4521_____________ SENSUAL, ATTRACTIVE CU, MID 30s WITH BIF ISO NS, passionate, erotic, feminine BIF to join her in exploring her dreams. No interaction with him unless it is OK with all. We are a safe, discrete and normal CU! 4 5 11 CUTE BUTCH LOOKING FOR ATTRACTIVE FEM. Must be in good shape. Whatever you want. Just call. You won’t be disappointed. Must be discreet. 4414

IS THERE ANYONE “O U T THERE? THIS 28 YO GWM seeks a quality ND/NS man, 28-35. Must have employment, automobile, sense of adventure, stability, teeth and a life to share. Hair negotiable.4723_______ SGWM SEEKS INTELLIGENT SAME IN Southern, VT. 28-50, for friendship, compan ionship, LTR, NS/D. Tired of being alone and value the company of a nice guy. Interests are: Country living, back roads, swimming, cooking and gardening. 4722 WANTED: HOT ORAL TONGUES. MOIST HOT lips, willing and eager to use them on regu lar basis. Young, 18-35, must enjoy giving oral sex. Being well-hung, won’t hurt. Safe, discreet. 4693_______________ BIM, 5’5", SLIM, CLEAN, SAFE & . DISCREET. Very submissive. Need to be punished, have leg cuffs, ankle cuffs, whips, collar and leash, riding crop. Men or CU’s, 18-40. Hang me naked and have your fun. Do whatever pleases you. Interested?4645 HEY GUY! CHECK IT OUT! 40s, GWM, HUSKY, hairy, attractive, top-type seeking fun times & more. Humor, no bars or drunks, prefer nonwhite but? Shy, closeted just fine.4644

or the old-fashioned way, call the 900-number:

1 900 226-8480 -

CALL TO RESPOND

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

34B | december 18-25, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

PERSO NALS w w w .7D p erso n als.co m

p la c e o n e f o r f r e e

men>men continued

I LIKE EQUIPMENT, TRUCKS, CONSTRUCTION and the guys who know how to work them. 42 YO MA, BIM, well-built, good:looking dude in need of a new hairy-chested, muscular straight guy who needs private, hot man-to man contact. 4637

N e ve r placed a p erso n al a d 5?

GWM, 21, 6’o”, 165 LBS., A & F, A & E JOCK guy seeks same for fun on and off the court, Be 18-27 and ready to have some fun. I’m up for anything, drop me a line! 4613_______

<i spy>

Then do il now!

LOOKING FOR A SECRET, SEX PARTNER, WHO is thin, clean, discreet and lucky enough to have fun with masculine, handsome, 40-some thing. First timer after our first bottle of wine. Not too big, not too small, just right! 4538

ATTENTION LAMOILLE COUNTY DOGS (AND their people)! German Shepherd with tons of energy to burn seeks other high-energy dogs for play dates in Lamoille County. Have your people call my mom.4636

NEED HOT ORAL TONGUE? DOES GIRLFRIEND/ wife do a lousy job? Call me! I’m young and good. Prefer straight/BI men, 18-42, who need,service. No chafes. No strings attached. Private home. Privacy assured.4537

LATE NIGHT BARRE FAST STOP: I spy a very sexy blonde. Your lips are luscious, your eyes, mesmerizing, and your conversation, titillating. You’ve got some butt on that ass! You’re a beautiful woman and unlike your ex, I love women.4923 12/4, MUDDY WATERS: I SPIED AN ATTRACTIVE brown haired woman drinking tea (two whole pots) with a friend. I sat across from you, beard and big book, we exchanged a few glances. Let’s have tea and talk. Two pots maybe? 4920

They’re FREE, safe &■ effective

SUBMISSIVE 40 YO. LOOKING FOR DOMINATE M to please. Black males especially welr.ome.4528

FRI., 12/6: YOU HAMMERING AT VFW STORE in Stowe. Me: “Want to hold it down. I’m trying to shop!” We spoke briefly but I had to leave. Can we meet? I think this is meant to be.4918

Deadline is Friday, January 3rd by noon. Send your ad via e-mail by visiting

GWM, s’jj”, 160 LBS., BRN/HAZEL, PROFESSionatly established career. Stable financially/ emotionally. Enjoys movies, music, traveling, entertaining, the outdoors, staying fit and more. Seeking GWM, 22-35, to share home, companionship, love and life with.4449

YOU: THAT CUTE BOY THAT WORKS AT EMS, I think you go to JSC. I’ll be looking for you over Xmas break. Will you be my teddy bear? 4913

www.7Dpersonals.com win a $50 gift certificate to:

I AM LOOKING FOR MALES, 18-30, IN THE Barre area, who are willing to let me give them oral. Would like to find someone to hookup with on a consistent basis. Leave description and phone number. 4444

12/7, MAIN ST.. 1:30 A.M.: YOU: M, BROWN hair, great smile. You bumped into me, “Excuse me,” (smoothly). We made eye contact. Me: Dumbstruck brunette with friend. I said nothing. Wanted to let you know you can brush against me anytime. 4910

GWM, 32, SEEKS CARING GUY TO SNUGGLE UP with in this cold weather. Looking for a younger guy to hang out with, workout with, go out with, make out with. Fit, intelligent and romantic, seeking same. First timers welcome.4441

12/8, EDELWEISS: YOU: STUCK IN SNOW BANK, short on time, and still glowing. Me: Not the buzzard with the wire and suffering from temporary aphasia. Forgive me and find me, we could make some turns together. 4909

STILL LOOKING: SM, 36, 5’3 ', 118 LBS., 28" waist, goatee, jeans, work boots, ball cap. Seeking masculine guys for dating. Let’s hike or hang out. Give me try, you might be surprised! Blue collar types encouraged to

THAI

reply. 4431 18, SWM, 6’0", 165 LBS., TONED, SMOOTH. Looking for friends, sex, LTR, whatever. Going to college to get my master’s in education, looking for M, 18-24, fit, young and cute.4422

/ io

YOU RESPONDED TO MY AD (BONES) BUT didn’t leave a clear message and left with something: My heart. Let’s get married and get it over with. You make me smile. I want to put it where it doesn’t belong. 4905

R E S T A U R A N T

12/11, 2 P.M., UMALL, BATH &. BODY WORKS: You: Cute blonde employee, with fantastic blue eyes, helped me pick out an Xmas gift for my aunt. Me: Tall, thin, leather jacket, wants to buy you something too.4900

185 Pearl Street B urlington

I SPY A GORGEOUS WRITING TUTOR IN THE UVM Writing Center. You could be my princess. Let’s go to Bangkok Bistro and eat a Tupcake.4898

<other> ATTRACTIVE, ARTISTIC, YOUNG WM IN Burlington seeks individuals and couples for group masturbation and fantasy. Would also like to befriend a cool guy so that we could pleasure women as a team.4919 BEAUTIFUL BRAINIAC, BORED, SEEKS AMUSING

new friends. Me: New in town (Stowe) from Europe. Love: Travel, books, foodyism, Italian reds 81 word play. You: Better than average in all ways. Gender irrelevant. 4916 A YOUNG BURLINGTON CU, (18 YO, SWBIF & 20 YO, SWM) are ISO ND, NS, disease-free, SBIM, SGM, SBIF, or SGF for discreet three somes. 30+ YO need not apply. Chosen applicant® will be reimbursed fee of call-4915 LESBIAN CU SEEKING M TO HELP WITH HAVING children. This is a non-parental role and non-sexual. You could be rewarded greatly. 4911 PIERCED SMOOTHIE CU, 21, F 81 32 YO M, seek BIF, 18-30, for friendship and more. Looking for more than a roll in the hay. Friendship is a must. Must be D & D free. . Give us a call! 4906 DUNGEON F SLAVES, 18-50, HAVE YOU EVER been interested in rope bondage, restraints, the feeling of being helpless, maybe gagged, blindfolded, naked and be at someone’s mercy. Limits respected but tested.4823 BI-CURIOUS, SWM, 33 YO, 5*6". SEEKING others with same interest. Your place only. Medium build seeks same. D/D free. Must be discrete. 4810

25 YO M, ISO OLDER, MAY/DECEMBER AFFAIR. If you are an elegant lady, 35 or older and would like to meet a' young and eager man, then let’s meet up.4806 ATTRACTIVE MAWM, ISO FEMALES WHO NEED to be pampered, spoiled, teased, satisfied, excellent oral pleasure, attentive TLC provided, well-endowed, focus on you. Best back massages. Discretion assured and expected. Let’s have fun and then go home. No strings, call me. 4801 CU SEEKING F FOR TRYSTS AND ADVENTURE. Must be NS, D & D free. We are late 20’s and outdoorsy. You are similar. Must be slim, college educated, and willing to have fun. We have toys, do you?47ii SWM, 32, ISO CU’S WHO LIKE TO TALK ON the phone. Help me with my fantasy! I want to talk and listen to CU’s while they have erotic fun. Must be discreet. Respond if you can help! Let’s have fun!4709

charge your credit card from any phone:

1 800 710-8727 -

LAUNDROMAT BY TRACKS GIRL LETS HAVE that margarita, then dirty the sheets before we clean them. No need for tepid-water gen tle cycle with me, though. I like it very hot, very wet. Call me L.L. Bean Boy.4893

To be eligible all ads must be submitted via e-mail by people who have never placed a personal ad with Seven Days. E-mail entries received from now until noon on January 3rd will be eligible. The winner will be notified via e-mail/snail mail by January

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

ME: 44, DWM, 5*10”, I50 LBS., FIT, CLEAN, educated, fun, cute butt, non-hairy back, nice normal guy. You: SF, long blonde hair, painted nails, lover of black satin, lace, leather, toys. Fun, fantasy, maybe LTR.4694 24 YO M, 5’io", AVERAGE BUILD, SHORT, brown hair. Looking for exciting, intimate adventures with F/M CU’s/S’s, open-minded and curious MA woman a plus. Age, race unimportant. D & D free. 4647_____________

20 YO F, 29 YO M CU, LOOKING FOR A BIF, 18-33, to have intense fun with! We are sexy and clean, and really want to share our passion with the right woman. Call us! 4597 SBIM, 39, ISO BIF, WITH OPEN MIND FOR friendship, maybe more. Be physically fit, but not perfect. I am average, age doesn’t matter. I don’t drink, drug or smoke. I just want to be understood and accepted.4536__________

PIRATE CAPTAIN LOOKING TO CAPTURE young wench for sailing Florida Keys. Must obey orders and know the ropes, be college educated and fit.4639

TALL, SLENDER, ATTRACTIVE MACU, 3o's. Looking for other CU’s for soft swap, and also S/MA/BI females for threesomes. Looking for friends first, then go from there. We are for real, not just another fake. 4513

HANDSOME, S, CULTURED, FUN, VERY FIT and experienced, well-endowed, mid-3o’s M. Seeks F, 18-45, for erotic fun. I’m clean and discreet. Give me a call.4622

ATTRACTIVE CU, HE’S 39, 5’io ", 195 LBS. She’s in her 40’s, 5’2”, 145 lbs. ISO BIF for play. We are clean, fun and exploring. All responses answered. 4509

Bl, MAWM, 30 YO, ISO Bl, MA OR SM, between the ages of 20 and 40 for discreet intimate fun. I write poetry and like to sing.

WE ARE LOOKING FOR OPEN-MINDED MALES, 18-35, the Barre-Montpelier area to help with kinky fantasy. I want to hide and watch my boyfriend give oral to a man. Reply with age, description and phone number. 4445

4615________________________________ WM, 50’s, LOOKING FOR CU FOR ADULT pleasures, clean and discreet.4599

SAT., 12/7, RUSTY NAIL: YOU: BROWN HAIR, beautiful smile, red shirt, blue jeans. Me: Short brown hair, green sweater. We held a long stare when ordering drinks. Still kicking myself for not speaking. Can you ease my suffering?489o WED., 12/4, TGIFRIDAYS: YOU: DENIM JACKET with sheepskin collar. Me: Short, brown hair, tan turtleneck. Lots of eye contact. Was gonna buy you a drink, but you were leaving. Can 174888 THIS INDIAN SWEEPER SPIES A BEAUTIFUL rock-and-roll teacher in the Burlington parking garage. I asked what floor you were on, you said, “two." Your accent made my heart skip a beat. How about a sushi table for “two.” 48i9 WHO’S THAT SEXY, TALL, BLONDE HUNK I keep seeing at Noah’s Ark and Hannaford at the mall? I really like that cute walk and would love to gaze into those baby blues!4815 12/5, 5 P.M., MUDDY’S: YOU: CUTIE, BROWN hair, black hoodie, brown pants, seat-search ing w/hi-lighter, making eye contact. ME: Blonde, white sweater, sad you didn’t sit next to me, steamy boy. Let’s meet for coffee sometime, I’ll help you hi-light. 4809

or the old-fashioned way, call the 900-number:

1 900 226-8480 -

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

SEVENDAYS I december 18-25, 2002 I 7Dpersonals 35B

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charge your credit card from any phone:

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1 800 710-8727 -

all calls $1.99 a minute. Must be 18+

12/4, WINDJAMMER: YOU: ATTRACTIVE gentleman awaiting blind date. Me: Friendly lady who smiled when arriving to join a friend. Your date arrived shortly, wearing a red sweater. I wish she had been me! Please call! 4808_________________________________ I SPY A SEXY BEEICH EVERY SUNDAY AT Metronome. Maybe we can get together sometime and put the shimmy-wah-da-tay! You’re rockin’ my world! Tammy (the girl with the dirty pants).4803______________________ TO THE CUTEST BALD GUY I HAVE EVER SEENI I saw you working at Conoscenti’s in Montpelier. Your Cosmopolitan rocked my world. Will you be mine?48o2______________ MYSTERY PEOPLE: THANKS FOR THE SWEET SOTB sticker under my windshield wiper! Glad to know other people appreciate it too! White Tercel Wagon. 4797__________________ FRI., 11/29. SWEET WATERS: YOU HAVING lunch with your friend at the window, me having lunch with my brother at the bar. We exchanged glances, maybe we could have lunch. 4796____________________________ GLASS GODDESS: WHAT HAPPENED? WERE supposed to meet for drinks. You disappeared. Please call your karaoke partner!4793 D: VOTING IN CHARLOTTE: YOU ARE AS beautiful as when I last saw you in 99, when we’re both told not to say good-bye or stay in touch. But we are no longer heeding her advice, & I’m back for good, in your hood. I really missed and worried about you and your kids. Catch up?479i__________________ YOU SEXY LIBERAL. I KNOW YOUR QUIRKS. Independence is fun, but don’t your feet get cold in bed during the winter? Let me warm you up, maybe you’ll see something in this young girl.4716___________________________ ST. JOHN SKIPPER, ADMIRAL BOB SAID YOU were back in the area. I’d love to say hello, but don’t know how. I miss you so much, Dipper. 4714______________________________ DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? I do. I think your name is Bridget Grace. I know I love you. I see you every day in your car, driving me crazy! Let me in.47i3_______ TO THAT GIRL THAT NIGHT. IN THE GREEN Subaru. With the snow tires, almost. You should know you’re beautiful. And thanks. 4712

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CALL TO RESPOND

BEAUTIFUL SMILE KNOWS LOTS OF LITTLE white cars. Be more specific!4707__________ I SPY CUTE KATE AT PEARL'S, AT KRIPALU, AT Texas Falls, on Green St., and in my heart. Come up and see me sometime.47o6_______ CUTE GUY AT OAKLEDGE WITH TWO SWEET dogs. Rode off in a old black 4 Runner before I had a chance to say hello. I bet our labs would have fun. Hoping to see you again.4704_______________________________ I SPY A BOY WITH CURLY BROWN HAIR AND piercings, smoking a cigarette on Main St. You are so stylin’ baby! Coffee at Muddies?4698 11/16, JULIO’S WAITER: VERY CUTE, SHORT, dark hair. You new? Me: Long, dark hair pulled back, black, long sleeve sat in booth with a friend (blonde). We talked about Ranch & Elton John On theory). Was that a look?4697________________________________ ESSEX AUBUCHONS: TATTOOED LOVE BOY with vulnerable blue eyes. You helped mix my paints. “D" would like you to check out my newly painted Cambridge home.4643 11/21, CHARLIE O’S: YOU KNOW WHO YOU are. Energy like that should not be wasted. Please call. 4630__________________________ I SPY A GORGEOUS AMAZON WITH A BEAUtifull smile working at the Country Store in Montpelier. Ashley Judd would be lucky to be compared to you! You’re easy to talk to, but I’m shy! 4629_____________________________ CHEFS CORNERS, YOU: F, BROWN HAIR pulled up. SUV with N.Y. plates. You’re as sweet as the sweets you serve. I spy a beauty with spunk. Let me buy you coffee so I can see your smile again. 4626_________________ WED., 11/20, 11 A.M.: YOU WERE WALKING out of the Fletcher Free library, I was walking in. Looked back to find you, once, twice, thrice. Really liked it. Let’s do it again sometime.4616 FRI., 11/B, BROOKS PHARMACY, ESSEX JCT: I said “hi,” you said you liked my ring and then I forgot my keys. Care to have coffee and get acquainted?4604 11/18, EARLY MORNING, BURLINGTON WATERFront: Laura, it was your first snowfall since moving back to the East Coast. Maybe I can join you on your next winter walk?4603

11/15, PEARL’S: YOU: GLASSES, GUINNESS, sitting w/King Skippy. Me: Glasses, Long Trail, sitting alone at the bar. Too shy to swivel my ass around on the bar stool to spit out a hello. Single? Dinner and/or a beer? 4 5 9 8 _____________ ____________

j ! i J ! i

UNOS IN SHELBURNE: YOU: OUR WAITRESS, beautiful smile and super friendty. Marie? I tried to guess where you were from based on your accent. I was way off. My nephew acted like a dog, barking. Let’s talk, I don’t bite.4438 _________________________

wet

PLATTSBURGH, LAUNDROMAT BY THE TRACKS. ! 11/6, CAPITAL GROUNDS: YOU: LONG, ! bm/brn, black & gray plaid skirt. Me: Blond/ I spy a tall, dark, handsome man, curly hair, ! blue, Carhart jacket. Our eyes met and held. glasses, in L.L. Bean, grading papers. I’ll w^sh the sheets with you anytime. Margaritas ! I’d love to connect with words. 4437________ first?4540______________________________ j MIDDLEBURY: TO THE DARK-EYED WOMAN FRI., 11/8, RED SQUARE, CHROME COWBOYS: ! picking up a Seven Days at Shaw’s. Let’s do j lunch. You look like a whimsical lady. Me: Me: Dark hair, blue eyes. You: Perfection with a soul melting smile. We passed coming/ J I’m comfortable in my skin. I feel like we { know each other already. 443 5______________ going. Saw you the next night at Coyotes drinking a Corona with two friends. Have we j TALL, DARK HAIR, HANDSOME WITH OCEAN met? Can we?4525________________________ ! eyes. Had a few drinks with you at a Holiday j Inn bar and then saw a movie sequel. Are YOUR FINE FORM RUNS SUNDAY, A.M /S at j you back from NYC? Challenge you to a TO. Every time I seek you out, you & your | game of pool, do you accept? 4434_________ little red car have vanished. Looking to increase my distance with someone of your j STUNNING IN YOUR SUIT AT THE WAITING understated demeanor and sense of humor. } room Wednesday night and flanked by three Are you available?4S23____________________ j pretty women. Romantic with one, all or { none, I wonder? Your dark eyes bright with YOU, AS SWEET AS TUPELO HONEY, AN | your handsome smile from where I sat by angel of the first degree at the UVM fitness | the door.4433____________________________ center Sat. night, 11/9 and lunchtime at Given, 11/11. Me: Dark hair, running shorts. J 10/31, HALLOWEEN AT NECTAR’S: I TOOK A Yes those were my kids but I am not J picture with you, you said your name was married. 4514 J Ben. I would love to find you again. Space HALLOWEEN 95 XXX PARTY AT RADISSON. | girl. 4428_________________________________ YOU: Pixie caregiver named Mindy (Mandy?). j HIGHER GROUND, LAST SATURDAY AT Me: Samurai named Greg. Like to get J Strangefolk. I asked you if you read Seven together?45Q5____________________________ j Days. Sorry we didn’t get a chance to chat, 11/8, THREE NEEDS: TO THE BARTENDER WITH | let’s meet under quieter conditions. I marvelous musical selections (Luna). Too shy j thought that you looked great.4418_________ to ask anything else, not my style anyhow. j 11/3, I-89 SOUTH, WILLISTON INFO REST Simply amused. Stop by next door and suck [ stop, beautiful red head working the counter. down a (eye of a) Hurricane with a smoke. | Me: Guy trying to figure out what to do for Oh, bashfulness.4503_____________________ j the day, get in touch, maybe we can get SAT., 10/26, MIRABELLES: YOU WERE SITTING | together. Hope to hear from you.4416 in the window speaking Russian to your j FRI., 11/1 PARTY IN/NEAR JEFFERSONVILLE: friend from Moscow. Me: Sitting next to him. J We met in the basement. You: Looking like a I introduced myself, but didn’t ask you out. j boarder, very unique beard, exhibiting hand Coffee or dinner sometime?4446___________ j drumming talent. You somehow eluded the j natural forces of attraction caused by my TO THE GIRL AT THE MOE SHOW, I SAID j tornado. Let’s go riding! 4410 that you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. You gave me the greatest hug I’ve ever received. Still in a trance from the energy you create. Will we ever meet again?4440

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