WHO SHOT
MR. CHEESEFACE?
The tragic tale of a famous mutt — and his Vermont demise B Y D A N B O L L ES
T
COURTESY OF MARK DE PIERRO
he cover of the January 1973 issue of National Lampoon, the groundbreaking humor magazine’s Death issue, depicts a handsome black-and-white dog against a blue background. To the right, the meaty hand of an unseen assailant holds a handgun to the side of the dog’s head at point-blank range. The collarless mutt’s body language, especially the way he side-eyes the gun, gives the uncanny impression that he’s aware of the imminent danger. A caption reads: “If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog.” The cover is a pop-culture touchstone, recognizable even to people who know the National Lampoon only from Animal House or the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies. Designed by the late Lampoon art director Michael Gross, the cover is widely regarded as one of the greatest not only in the history of the magazine but in the history of magazines, period. In 2005, the American Society of Magazine Editors named the Death cover one of the Top 40 Magazine Covers of the Last 40 Years. It ranked No. 7, right between the New Yorker’s 9/11 cover on September 24, 2001 and the October 1966 cover of Esquire. The latter touted John Sack’s 33,000-word story on the Vietnam War, a benchmark piece in the nascent New Journalism movement. The content of the January ’73 National Lampoon couldn’t compete in seriousness or importance with that of its neighbors on the ASME list: The cover teases inside features called “Last-Aid Kit” and “Suicide Letters to Santa.” But the Death issue would nonetheless become shrouded in darkness. The following month’s National Lampoon featured an inside photo of the dog, Mr. Cheeseface, lying motionless on the floor of an office surrounded by the magazine’s staffers. The implication was that the previous issue hadn’t sold enough copies to keep the magazine’s editors from following through on their threat. It was, of course, a gag: A newsroom full of comedy writers didn’t shoot the dog. But three years later, in Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom, someone did. The sad tale of Mr. Cheeseface has since become both famous and controversial. The shooting is mentioned in Josh Karp’s 2006 book A Futile and Stupid Gesture: How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever, the original cover of which features an illustrated play on the Death cover, with Mr. Cheeseface holding a gun to magazine cofounder Kenney’s head. Mr. Cheeseface’s untimely passing has inspired whispers of conspiracy in certain corners of the internet, including several Reddit threads. The dog is a staple of pulpy online lists of celeb animals that died under mysterious or unusual circumstances, alongside the likes of Budweiser spokesdog Spuds MacKenzie, Tweet the Giraffe from the old Toys “R” Us commercials, and Keiko, the whale in the Free Willy movies.
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Mr. Cheeseface
SEVEN DAYS NOVEMBER 28-DECEMBER 5, 2018