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SEVEN DAYS
august 21, 2002
eptember will mark the 75th anniversary of the first demonstration of a television prototype. Among the most fascinating figures in the history of the medium is a Russian-born visionary by the name of David SarnofF. A one-time telegraph operator, SarnofF pioneered the idea for a "radio music box," formed the first broadcast network, NBC, and helped an obscure device called an iconoscope evolve into the most powerful medium in the history of humankind. He even foresaw the invention of the VCR. SarnofF may have been the Leonardo da Vinci of electronics, but one thing even he never saw coming is "The Anna Nicole Show." As a student of television history, I always find it simultaneously quaint and tragic that the medium's inventors had high, noble hopes for it, imagining the wonderful ways it would enrich people's lives. SarnofFoften spoke of the vast educational benefits T V would offer audiences. He talked, for instance, about bringing the great museums and art galleries of the world into the living rooms of ordinary Americans. Little did he suspect that ordinary Americans themselves were the future of television programming. Reality T V has been around so long now that it's undergone a process oF subdivision. Some oF the shows responsible For the genre's rise to prominence are still with us and are harmless enough — pro-
grams like "Survivor" and "Big Brother." They've spawned a harsher, somewhat nastier generation of stunt-and-strategy shows, however. "Fear Factor" and "Dog Eat Dog" are prime-time examples. Our topic today, though, is a third subset of reality television, the one I find the saddest. In the last few years we have witnessed the emergence of a new broadcast form that can only be described as Loser TV. The names that leap to mind here, naturally, are ones like Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, Maury Pauvich and Montel Williams. These are people who've amassed fortunes by staging scenarios designed to humiliate, enrage or degrade guests for the amusement of audiences. Whether infidelities are rubbed in the face of unsuspecting spouses or D N A test results are used to identify the sexually hyperactive 20-year-old father of some newborn, the participants in these programs are almost always from the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum and are almost never allowed to leave with their dignity intact. Subtle second cousins to programs like these are the ever-multiplying court shows. The people who appear before Judge Judy, Judge Mills Lane, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mathis and "Texas Justice's Judge Larry Joe appear to be selected, by and large, with an eye toward promoting an atmosphere of mockery and derision. Invariably, one party (or both) winds up looking like a liar, shyster or buF-
Foon. The high point oF an episode generally involves a presiding magistrate venting his or her disgust and itemizing the losing litigant's personal and moral shortcomings. An increasingly popular Form oF loser-watching is the dating show. Lots of these are on the air at present, among them "Blind Date," "Shipmates," "The Fifth Wheel" and "DisMissed." One thing they all share is a tendency to spotlight love connections gone spectacularly wrong. Sure, every now and then a couple hits it off, but nothing says quality 21st-century entertainment like a guy getting shot down, chugging way too many Smirnoff Ices and then acting like a total tool. Poor form is such a draw on "Blind Date," for example, that most episodes conclude with a special segment called "The Hall of Shame." If it happens to be your bad behavior being documented, your dance card is guaranteed to be clear throughout your reproductive years. But the circus maximus, the Double Whopper with Extra Cheese, the lollapalooza of loseramas is beyond question the new show on E! chronicling Anna Nicole Smith's Valium-blurred search for love, fulfillment and a half-billion dollars. "The Anna Nicole Show" hit the airwaves on August 4th and proved the biggest debut in the network's history — more than four million Americans tuned in to watch the stripperturned-plus-size-model stumble and mumble her way through daily life. In an effort to duplicate the success oF"The Osbournes," the entertainment channel spent several weeks tailing Smith and her side-