Seven Days, January 10, 2001 by Seven Days

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CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly GENERAL MANAGER Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ASSISTANT EDITOR George Thabault ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes

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PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe OFFICE CHAMELEON & THIRD EYE Rev. Diane Sullivan CLASSIFIEDS MANAGER/ PERSONALS Josh Pombar SALES MANAGER David Booth ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Krisri Batchelder, Michelle Brown, Eve Frankel, Colby Roberts CALENDAR WRITER Alice Christian CIRCULATION Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, Colin Clary, Kristin D ’Agostino, John Dillon, Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Anne Calloway, Paul Gibson, Ruth Horowitz, Helen Husher, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Fred Lane, Lola, Lynda Majarian, Richard Mayer, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Robert Resnik, Molly Stevens, George Thabault, Shay Totten, Pip VaughanHughes PHOTOGRAPHERS Berne Broudy, Andy Duback, Mark Sasahara, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Harry Bliss, Cary Causer, Sarah

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Taking on Texas By George T h a b a u lt ..............................................................page 8

Rome With a View Book review : Cutter's Island By Pip Vaughan-Hughes ......

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Sub-Zero Survival Notes on the “Underground” in M ontreal By Jeanne K eller ........................................

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Tube Fed: Bushwhacked By R ick Kisonak ................................

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A Bird in the Hand W ill a b it o f controversy ground a Vermont falconry school? By Berne B ro u d y ............................................................... page 21

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Discriminating Palettes A rt review : “Food for Thought: Looking a t Food and Connected Ideation, ” a group show in m ixed m edia By Marc Awodey ....... .......................................................... page 37

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MORE TO TEXAS THAN AUSTIN

questio

Whyis Vermont better than Texas? Do I have a full page?

— Karen Cooper Co-Owner, Jam ie Two Coats’ Toy Shop Shelburne I’m not required by law to carry a side-arm, or to listen to ZZ Top three times a day.

— Ty Formel Head Chef, Daily Planet Burlington

Re: writer Chris McDonald [“Live Man Talking,” Dec. 13}. Good! That is two Yankees removed from Texas, you and George W. There are two things a Texan hates: a Yankee and a Uhaul; but we like seeing them both cross the Red River going north. (I am dropping in geo graphical points of interest so it will sound like I know what I am talking about.) George W. is not from Texas, neither was his father. There is a lot more to Texas than Austin and Stevie Ray Vaughan. The rent in Austin doubled more than six years ago; I couldn’t tell if you were talking about Austin or another college town here in Vermont. By the way, John Wayne was not at the Alamo, read up on your Hispanic histo ry. And finally, Texas is not a part of the South. The South is Louisiana and east, the Southwest is New Mexico and west. Texas? Why, that is God’s country! I am looking forward to your next column about as much as I am to the next four years of

— Debbie Baker Bookkeeper, The Shed Stowe

TURKEY OF AN ELECTION NOT RIGGED It was interesting to note that in the most recent issue of Seven Days, the phrase coup d ’etat was twice employed to describe the 2000 presidential election and its adjudicated outcome — once by the writer of a letter to the editor, and once in Peter Kurth’s “Crank Call” column. Although I don’t know about the letter writer, I’m not sur prised to see this sort of hysteri cal hyperbole coming from the frantically bitter and bilious Kurth. Neither of these two, however, would know a coup d ’e tat if it came up and bit them in the ass. Do either of them think for a minute that anyone with the power and gall to attempt the hijacking of the federal govern ment would do it with this great a likelihood of failure? A simple

— William G. Scheller Waterville

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aforethought. Coup d ’etat? In a pig’s eye. Take this from one whom, when young and silly, once sat up half the night with the similarly afflicted, theorizing about how Nixon was going to call off the 1972 elections.

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look at the. numbers reveals the fact that the damned thing could just as easily have gone the other way on election night, and no one could have possibly rigged or even predicted the tortuous course it took through the legal system. Could the dark forces really have known that neither Justice O ’Connor nor Justice Kennedy would fail to be per suaded in the final presentation of arguments to the Supreme Court? Why can’t we see the whole business for what it was? It was an agonizingly close election which an extremely well-connect ed right-wing puddinghead won with 48 percent of the vote, thanks to the misguided candida cy of a witless third-party robot ideologue and the public’s insuf ficient enthusiasm for a Demo cratic candidate who failed to bubble over with the necessary ersatz charisma. No one could have rigged this turkey — or, at least, no one did. The outcome was all the more exasperating because it represent ed voter stupidity compounded by sheer happenstance, rather than understandable malice

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George W. Not!Your comments about the honorable Anne Richards are cheap; George W. has never admitted to rehabilita tion and is still an alcoholic. Thank you for leaving Texas.

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Let the Games Begin The Vermont Legislature returned last week to kick off the first biennium of the Third Millennium in the crucible of our beloved political democracy. But a couple of the biggest stories never made the darn papers. In the Senate, before the gavel even fell, two dis tinguished members of the ever-expandiffg Senate Granny Caucus collided in an Opening Day heavy weight turf battle. And over in the House, the brand new Speaker of the House became the first Speaker in Vermont history to get locked inside his own office! The Senate Granny Caucus, composed of Sens. Jean Ankeney, 78, and Janet Munt, 77, both Chittenden County Democrats, grew by 50 percent last week as they were joined by the only Republican to win a seat from Chittenden — Barbara Snelling, 72. Babs was the first to arrive in the 30-seat chamber last Wednesday morning, and she promptly parked herself in Seat 7, the prime, inside aisle seat in the front row. Later, Granny Ankeney arrived and saw Granny Snelling settling in. Granny Ankeney told Seven Days Granny Snelling “had unpacked her things and appeared firmly entrenched” in Seat 7. Sen. Ankeney said she informed Sen. Snelling that she was the senior member "from Chittenden. And had decided on the way down that morning that she yvpuld occupy Seat 7 in the coming session. Get out of my seat,; Babs! v Granny Snelling said she pointed out to Granny Ankeney that Seat 7 had been occupied by Republican Sen. Helen Riehle in the previous ses sion. Babs also noted that a few years before, when Republicans were in the majority, it had been her own seat. ' V""" So much for nostalgia., , , .■ “Feeling my anger rising,” Sen. Ankeney said, “1 decided to leave the chamber” to cool off a little. As the remainder of the delegation arrived, the Great Granny Clash was all the buzz. A consensus was reached to allow the senior senator from Chittenden, Sen. Ankeney, to make the seating assignments. She did. Ankeney got Seat 7. Snelling was assigned to Seat 12, the seat farthest away at the other end of the aisle. “She has seniority,” Sen. Snelling told Seven Days. “That made the difference.” “If she had not been so aggressive,” said Sen. Ankeney, “I would have given the seat to her.” Sen. Ankeney told us she “felt miserable all day long” about the morning turf battle between Senate Grannies. In fact, Granny Ankeney later expressed a grandmotherly preference that the story of the Great Granny Clash not make it into this week’s edition. Sorry, Grandma. Over in the House, the new Republican Speaker Walter Freed displayed a bit of surprising games manship as he took the mound on Opening Day. Walt’s first pitch was a wicked curve ball that some' say had a little wad of spit across the seams. Speaker Freed proudly took the gavel and promptly offered Democrat minority leader John Tracy the unheardof privilege of picking two Dems for each of the 14 House committees. Tradition dictates it is the Speaker alone who determines committee assign ments. To the victor go the spoils. Walter the Bipartisan, who keeps his cards close to his vest, kept both John-John and the GOP lead ership in the dark about his little surprise spitter until shortly before the big opening speech. Though The Burlington Free Press lavished praise on Walt the Salt for this “generous” offer, John-John & Co. and many others saw it for the “exploding cigar,” “live hand grenade” or “Trojan Horse” it real ly was. If John-John had accepted, he would have had to play Noah. For every two Democrats Tracy pleased, he’d piss off three or four. No thanks. Republicans just hoped that, in the future, Walt the Salt will consult a few lieutenants before throw ing another curve ball like that one.

But Walt the Salt’s big thrill didn’t come until the following evening. That’s when he and the House Republican leadership managed to get locked inside the Speaker’s exclusive corner office. According to Rep. John Labarge, the majority leader, he, Walt and Rep. Connie Houston, the whip, were working late on committee assignments. ___ garter to 11, he said, they decided to call Arour it a nightf As the trio exited the inner office, they discovered the sliding glass door on the outer office locked tight. And there was no way to unlock it from the inside, said Leader Labarge. Security-conscious Dave Janawicz, the one-man Statehouse Secret Service Brigade, had made the rounds earlier and locked every thing up tight. He didn’t realize u *i «■ -.. Walt & Co. had returned after 1 dinner and were slaving away behind the closed inner door. “When our usually articulate 1 Speaker discovered the prob lem,” said Labarge, “He said if . ‘Oh, shit!”’ : 1 Not to worry. Labarge was able to pry open a screen on one SB 1 H k of the windows, springing Speaker Freed into the cold, dark night. Walter walked around to a main door and used his new keys to reenter and spring his trapped mates. Freed at last! Family Values — The only two political lawn signs we ever saw last fall on the front lawn of Gov. Howard Dean’s residence were those of State Sen. Jim Leddy and his sister, Johanna Leddy Donovan, a candidate for the House. Both won, and it was kind of nice to see sister and brother from the old-time Burlington political family chatting it up in the Statehouse hallway. Together again! And last Wednesday, the wife of Vermont’s only congressman was not in Washington, D.C., watch ing her husband get sworn in for,a sixth term, in Congress. That’s because Jane Sanders was in Montpeculiar, accompanied by her 85-year-old mother, Bernadette O'Meara, witnessing the swear ing-in of her daughter, Carina DriSCOll, as a new state representative from Burlington. Yesterday, Speaker Freed assigned the daughter of Vermont’s congressman to the Fish and Wildlife Committee. Nice gesture, eh? And Rep. David Zuckerman of Burlap, chair of the four-member Progressive Caucus, is planning a traditional marriage to Rachel Nevitt, an “educator, artist and contra-dance caller,” who ran unsuccessful ly for a House seat in November. No date set as yet.

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Supermarket Follies Continue! — Even with the Steel up and construction underway, the controversy over Burlington’s new downtown supermarket con tinues to boil. Lets face it, the brouhaha in Burlap over food last year was more controversial locally than the statewide lathering over civil unions. Burlington’s Great Food Fight was a clash between vegetarians and carnivores, socialists and capitalists, local businesses and the crush ol transnational cor porate control of everything! In the end, the city council unanimously gave the contract for a new downtown supermarket to the Onion River Co-Op. The loser, Shaw’s, wanted to put up a store twice as big that would have cost city taxpayers more than a million bucks. But even with construction moving ahead, The Great Food Fight continues, thanks in no small part to the efforts of our local daily. A front-page story in The Burlington Free Press last week — “City may lend cash to coop” — kicked up a swirling cloud of hysteria. The article, by reporter Leslie Wright, informed readers City Hall was “considering” loaning the Onion River Co op a couple hundred thousand dollars to close a financing gap. Instantly, howling about the Progressives giving city taxpayer dollars to the commie vegetarians erupted. Down at a favorite local watering hole, yours truly was buttonholed by Prog critics demand ing we acknowledged at long last that the Progs had gone too far this time.

In sid e T ra c k continued on page 40 .i*

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january 10, 2001 i m

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Closet King

After going AWOL from his Army unit at Fort Knox, Ken tucky, Jeffrey Scott Martin, 26, spent three weeks living in a 15year-old girl’s bedroom closet in Mount Vernon, Ohio. The girl’s mother found out while putting away some sweaters when she spotted blankets, a pillow and dishes and confronted the daugh ter, who said she met Martin on the Internet seven months earlier. Prosecutor John Baker said Martin avoided detection by stay ing in the closet when the girl’s mother was at home but had the run of the house when she went to work. “You would think that most people would discover this sometime before this,” Baker said. “But how often does a parent check a child’s closet?”

Biting the Hand That Feeds Clint Hallam, the New Zealand man who underwent the world’s first hand transplant in 1998 after a chainsaw accident, now insists he wants the limb amputated. Explaining the new hand has not lived up to his expectations, Hallam told the London Times, “I’ve become men tally detached from it.”

A Brazilian drug dealer hid 11 pounds of cocaine in a pile of logs in his home outside Sao Paulo but was arrested anyway when envi ronmental police investigating

floods killed almost all the rats, making the meat unobtainable at any price.

Candid Camera Police investigating thefts from a storeroom at a shopping mall in Anderson, South Carolina, set up a video camera. While reviewing one of the surveillance tapes, they spotted Thomas Pearson, 37, who

n E W s QuiRkS BY ROLAND SWEET

according to an Environment Ministry official. A German Foreign Ministry spokesperson explained Ambassador Werner Burkat was taking only a few branches for wreaths, but forest ecologist Ljupco Stojanovski insisted Burkat used an ax to destroy almost the whole tree. Germany is one of the largest donors to environmental projects in Macedonia.

Rice farmers in Vietnam’s Mekong Delta missed out on last year’s popular rat dinners because floods virtually wiped out the rodents. Officials began promot ing the consumption of rat meat several years ago as a way to allevi ate crop destruction caused by the animals. As a result, it became a common source of protein in the region until last year, when major

worked as a mall Santa Claus, receiving oral sex from a 16-yearold girl. • Northwest Airlines suspended three baggage handlers at Minneapolis-St. Paul Internation al Airport after news footage shot by WSTP-TV showed the three taking packages off a plane and treating them like basketballs. The camera crew, which was at the air port to cover an unrelated story, taped the workers slamming some packages into a nearby bin and tossing others over their heads, behind their backs and high into the air, sometimes missing the bin. • After John Robert Broos Jr., 57, told police two men beat and robbed him outside a casino in Turtle Lake, Wisconsin, the offi cers decided to check the casino’s surveillance tapes to see if they could identify the attackers.

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TUNEUP DEAL!

Feast or Famine

Environmental Law and Order

illegal trade in palm hearts showed up to search the place. They observed the woodpile was palm heart logs and,, while confis cating the logs, discovered the drugs. • The German ambassador to Macedonia and his wife were caught illegally cutting branches from a protected species of fir to use for Christmas decorations,

Instead, they said the tape showed Broos banging his head against a light pole, rubbing dirt on his face, walking back to his pickup, looking in the driver’s side mirror, returning to the same light pole and striking his head against the pole three or four more times. He then applied more gravel and dirt to his face, looked at his face in the mirror and went to the casino to report the robbery. Barron County prosecutor Ruth Bach man told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Broos apparently concoct ed the robbery story to cover up his gambling losses.

Fruits and Nuts of Research Hazelnuts could power fuel cell cars of the future, according to Murat Dogru of England’s University of Newcastle. He and his colleagues discovered that hydrogen, which is used to gener ate an electric current for motors in electric and electric-gasoline hybrid vehicles, makes up 15 per cent of the combustion gases recovered from burned hazelnut shells. Dogru pointed out that Turkey, the world’s biggest pro ducer of hazelnuts, burns 250,000 tons of shells a year, which could supply enough hydrogen for 1000 prototype hydrogen-fueled BMWs to travel 20,190 miles each. • Hazelnuts also are a promising new source of the anti-cancer drug taxol, which was first isolat ed from the Pacific yew tree. The

number of yews has dwindled, however, leading researcher Angela Hoffman of the University of Portland, Oregon, to discover the compound not only in hazel nuts, but also in a harmless fun gus that grows on the hazelnut.

Matter of Inches The Bristol Township, Pennsylvania, council notified Madison Retail Properties of Philadelphia that the new CVS drug store it built in Levittown would have to be moved because measurements showed it was 6 feet off the approved site plan. • After the planners of the Grand Resort Hotel in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, spent $85 million to build the upscale ski resort, they discovered the clear ance in the underground parking lot measures only 6 feet, 8 inch es. That’s low enough to keep out many sport utility vehicles, which constitute a third of vehi cles traveling to ski areas — and that’s without skis on the roof rack.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Eight Iowa farmers taught themselves to perform various square-dancing routines using their tractors. Since the farmers all are males and square-dancing is for couples, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that four of the dancers wear calico skirts, wigs and white gloves to avoid the appearance of having a same-sex dance partner. ®

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this to be our plan, not my veryone’s talking about plan.” “cooperation” and You see? Such cooperation! “bipartisanship” — Such bipartisanship! There “Bringing America Together,” as the Bushmen say. That’s the followed the obligatory words about “consensus on how to official slogan of the corpo proceed” — not consensus on rate-military state, in case you health care, note, only on hadn’t heard. Quoting Scott “proceeding” to it — followed Shuger in Slate: “Imagine by pieties in the Bushman what they could have come up with if they hadn’t been robbed of four weeks of valu able transition time!” I don’t know what I’d do without Shuger in the morn ings. His crisp, daily digests of America’s leading papers give me the news I need without the “personalities.” It’s what NPR must be to other people, only I can’t stand the sound of L Nina Totenberg’s teeth click ing together. Similarly, I can’t read through a whole issue of The New York Times anymore — there’s something so white about the Grey Lady lately. Thus to our own “Democratic” governor, Howard Dean, “moderate” extraordinaire, who was quot A ed in Sunday’s Times on the subject of states’ rights — that is, President Select’s sudden re-conversion to Republican doctrine that The Federal Government is Bad For You. According to the Times-. “Across the spectrum of domestic policy issues, from health and welfare to educa tion, transportation and envi ronmental protection, the new administration promises to shift power from the feder al government to the states, and state officials of both par ties said they expected the mode: “At this moment we promises to be kept.” You may wonder how are not divided. We are Vermonters. At this moment, President Select — who owes his White House victory sole we are united in one mission,” ly to the collusion of the last etc., etc. Right. word in federal authority, the O f course, Dr. Dean will be proposing cuts in Medicaid U.S. Supreme Court — can be so earnest now about the benefits and higher co-pays 10th Amendment, which for Medicaid recipients, which guarantees the states “all pow in any case are already in ers not specifically granted to effect. Please don’t take this as a sign of “dictating” anything. the federal government.” Given the composition of the Select prefers to regard the Legislature this season, Dr. states as “partners,” not “interest groups,” whatever Death’s measures should have no trouble passing, and then, that means, and Howard agrees with him. you see, it won’t be his fault. “I do believe that the Peace in our time, eh, states will end up with more Howard? I’m one of the peo flexibility to manage Medicaid ple who didn’t vote for you, as and other health and human- . it happens, not because I service programs,” Dr. Dean think you’re a bad executive, declares, having told us v VT LY -ybut because' I . |g |^ ;y dure a already in his inaugural bad doctor. I don’t, think address that he won’t “dictate”., you’re a doctor.ft all anymore, and I wish you’d stop calling the direction of health care in Vermont. “I have deliberately yourself one? Where’s Neville Chamberlain when you need avoided laying out the specifics of how I believe our him? three goals of cost control, Better get used to it, any reducing the cost shift and how, because this is how it’s universal access should be going to be under the achieved,” Dean said. “I want Bushmen — words saying one

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ands doing

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thing and hands doing just the reverse. You can see this already in the composition of Select’s proposed cabinet, which may be “diverse” in appearance but is purely cor porate, and purely right-wing, in fact. I’m not the first to point this out, obviously — indeed, everyone is pointing it out — but on it goes, all the same. Why should we be surprised? We’ve just seen the first whol ly artificial presidential elec tion in American history. You may not have noticed, because the dogs of the press are so busy writing articles about themselves and each other, and talking so much on so many channels at once, I think there may be a shortage of hounds in the pack just now. This is the saddest part of the spectacle — the disman tling of American democracy is taking place right before our eyes. We’ve got the best of American reporting and “investigative” journalism cov ering the same event, all the time, and the only result is theater — absurdist theater, at that. Everything’s the opposite of what it seems. And while our bipartisan cooperators squabble over Select’s more egregious nominations — especially the repulsive John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney General — they’ll shoo in Colin Powell, the coziest, cud dliest, whitest general since Hindenburg, and help the Bushmen toward their goal, which is the militarization of the government. Select’s lack of a popular mandate will mean nothing in this scenario. The agenda’s set and will be carried out as announced — gifts to the .rich, theft from the poor, “religious charity” in place of social services, “education reform” as a means to segre gated schools. And let’s not forget the “Missile Defense Shield,” opposed by our allies and insane on the surface. They’re going to do exactly what they want, and the excuse they’ll give is “the economy.” We’ll talk about the econ omy next time, children, if we can see our way past culture, and if I’m still allowed to write. I leave you with a quote from Select, taken from C N N ’s news broadcast of December 18, 2000, and guaranteed verbatim. “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier ... just so long as I’m the dictator, heh, heh.” Howard has nothing to worry about. ®

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Forget New Hampshire. Little ol’ Vermont has bigger beefs with the state of the union By George Thabault

kay, the holidays are over. Let’s get those con spiracy caps back on. A draft-dodging, gram mar-impaired, drunk-driving governor from Texas — without much visible swagger — is about to be inaugurated as President of the United States, and MGM Home Entertainment is releasing a special 40th Anniversary DVD edition of The Alamo, produced, directed and starred in by none other than John Wayne. As the re-release publicity notes, “Wayne, decked out in buckskin jacket and coonskin cap early in the film, acquits himself well as the good-natured frontiersman Davy Crockett, who leads a band of Tennesseans into Texas, where they join the fight for freedom.” And later, “The overriding theme is that freedom is such a cherished thing that men were willing to not only fight for it, but die for it.” Coincidence? Get real. It’s all about the coming Texas World Order and the “Texafication” of American life — the ongoing process of injecting fresh doses of discredited Texan, and Western, mythology into the political and cultural mainstream of America. That mythology is about a lot more than saddles, spurs, saloons, Stetsons and six-guns. The myth of Texas begins with all the variants of formerly conventional his tory that basically portrays American history as White Men moving West to bring peace, economic progress and civilization to a hostile land. As Congressman John Wentworth of Illinois put it in the 1840s, Manifest Destiny meant that America would be “the great center from which civilization, religion, and liberty should radi ate and radiate until the whole continent shall bask in their blessing.” Under this pioneering halo, Texas becomes a freedom-

page 8

SEVEN DAYS

January 10, 2001

loving, frontier-settling, oil-discovering, law-and-ordering, civilization-bringing, border-protecting, bigger-isbettering, Bible-Belting and nature-conquering bastion of “the great American spirit.” It’s an America with clear moral absolutes — where right and wrong are, of course, black and white. No gray cowboy hats, please. The Inaugural Address is a perfect stage for Bush to

says “Alamo” (188 American fatalities) before the word “AIDS” (430,441 American fatalities, 16.3 million world wide). Texafication is an ugly process and, like your fire-andbrimstone revivalist preacher, hard to stop once.under way. So someone’s gotta take on the mantle ol the AntiTexas — you know, accept the challenge of shearing off

In his campaign for president, George W. said he wanted to m ake the rest of Am erica more “like Texas.” weave Texas myths ever deeper into our national con sciousness. President Ronald Reagan, in some ways more of a cowboy than Connecticut-born and Ivy-educated W. will ever be, gave us a taste in his second Inaugural: “The men of the Alamo call out encouragement to each other; a settler pushes west and sings his song, and the song echoes out forever and fills the unknowing air. “It is the American sound: It is hopeful, big-hearted, idealistic, daring, decent and fair. That’s our heritage, that’s our song. We sing it still. For all our problems, our differences, we are together as of o ld ...” So you weren’t paying that much attention in January 1985? Well, it’s a fair bet that George W. will proclaim the words “Alamo,” “freedom” and “sacrifice” in his address this month. An even safer bet would be that he

the wool that certain Texans will try to pull over America’s eyes. I nominate Vermont. Truth be told, we Vermonters have been coasting along for years, getting our jollies from picking on little ol’ New Hampshire. Come on, now, Green Mountain Boys and Girls, it’s time to aim our smugness arrows in a new direction. New Hampshire has been way too easy. It’s just sitting over there across the Connecticut River, content as a sim pleton in the spring sun, with its dysfunctional legisla ture, billboards, roadside liquor stores and Powerball stands, a measly half-inch of ocean coastline, blood pres sure-raising toll roads, conservative newspaper publishers and an absurd lack of a state income tax.

And don’t forget New Hampshire’s quadrennial presi dential primary charade, where folks pretend to be unde cided and candidates pretend to like cold weather, flannel shirts and slipping over the sidewalks in their loafers. New Hampshire, don’t forget, was the only New England state to vote for Bush Nov. 7; its four electoral votes put Bush over the top! Blame the Granite Staters, not Florida chads. 1 Much as we mock and deride them, and offer reason able suggestions on how they could improve their lives, Granite Staters just don’t seem to care. Like mystics wan- | dering the countryside in bare feet with an unsettling glow upon their faces, they’re strangely and inexplicably ^ happy with their lot. So, clearly, it’s time for Vermont to move on, to take on someone closer to our size — not physically, of course, but politically, culturally and symbolically. Vermont looms large on the American cultural land scape. We pioneered civil unions, said “no” to commercial billboards, and our teeny capital city of Montpelier con tinues to repel the giant corporate McDonald’s. We have restaurants where smoking is not allowed. We’ve turned our noses up at the regressive Powerball tax. Local plan ning boards have real citizens on them and shake down developers for “impact fees,” town improvements and donations to local charities. We don’t appoint Monsanto executives to guard the environment. We’ve got three real political parties. You’re likely to see the governor at a soc cer game or at the grocery store. So what if our weather is cold or cloudy for much of the year, and the cost of living is about the highest in the lower 48 states? UVM professor Frank Bryan, co-author of A Vermont Owners Manual, summed up the state this way: “Vermont is like an old VW bug from the ’60s and early ’70s — it’s small, quirky and strange.” And yet it seems we get more national awards and publicity than most any other place — best place to raise kids, safest state, loosest abortion and gun laws, best place to relocate your non-union high-tech company, best place to start an emu ranch. Everyone, it seems, dreams of moving here, and a lot of them actually do. New Hampshire’s star is clearly fading, and Vermont’s continues to soar, even as the national stage is being taken over by Texans. You have to agree — taking on Texas sure would be fun now, wouldn’t it? Cut them Texas egos down to size? Texas egos, after all, are like their problems — big. Just ponder their current tourist motto — “Its a whole other country” — or the opening words to their state song:

Brothers, Where Art o be born a Vermonter and die a Texan. Is there a more ignominious fate? Consider the unhappy tale of a couple of young farm boys who left Pownal in the late 1860s and wound up in Texas, bearing partial responsibility for one of the great destructive hur ricanes to sweep through the Old West -— destroying a sacred resource. In the early 1800s, the buffalo in North America numbered about 40 million; the Texas territory had huge herds. But at the end of the century, there would be fewer than a thou sand of the majestic animals left. Historians note that the two Vermont brothers helped to bring about a “small technological devel opment” in 1871 that wrote the death sentence for millions of buffa lo. Between 1871 and 1879 about 10 million buffalo in the Southern herd would perish. The very last buffaloes of the once-immense Southern bison herd were killed by hunters at Buffalo Springs, Texas, in 1879. J. Wright Mooar was fresh from Vermont, about 20 years old in 1870 and working as a wood-cutter near the frontier town of Fort Hays, Kansas. Prof. Ralph Andrist detailed Mooar’s story in his 1964 textbook: “A friend, who hunted buffalo to supply meat for the post commis sary, threw away the skins, and probably young Mooar’s frugal New England soul was repelled by the

promising here now. Have great 'hopes, if our lives and health are spared, to see you before many months. We are bold, tough, hearty, and rugged. I would not give myself today for four such men as I was the day I left New York. After the hunters wiped out the buffalo in Kansas and Texas, each of the Mooar brothers married and set tled in West Texas, John in Colo rado City and Wright on a ranch near Snyder. Wright Mooar was stiff in his defense of buffalo hunting. He wrote in 1928, “The buffalo hunters opened up a vast empire of territory to occupation; put the Indian forev er out of Texas; changed him from a bloodthirsty savage to a meek sub missive w ard... If it had not been for the accomplishment of the buf falo hunters, the wild Bison would still graze where Amarillo now is and the Red Man would still reign supreme over the pampas of the Panhandle.” Southwest historian Wayne Gard notes, “John lived until 1918 and Wright until 1940, but neither found any new adventure to match those of the buffalo range.” The brothers are considered Texas pio neers and their papers and letters are part of the state library collection. The librarian at the Vermont Historical Society says he’s never heard of them. . . s$|; — G.T.

“Success by Six” in Texas might m ean

“Texas, O ur Texas” Texas, Our Texas! all hail the mighty State! Texas, Our Texas! so wonderful, so great! Boldest and grandest, withstanding ev’ry test O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest.

the number of vears a football coach is given to win a championship.

Texas, O Texas! your freeborn single star Sends out its radiance to nations near and far, Emblem o f Freedom! it sets our hearts aglow, With thoughts o f San Jacinto and glorious Alamo.

f you’re picking on someone, it’s good to know they’re paying attention. For all the weathering Texans get out on the Plains looking for oil, lost cattle or illegal immigrants, their skin is mighty thin and sensitive. They’re easier to rile up than a Red Sox fan in October. Heck, just start with the Alamo. You can catapult your average Texan right into orbit with the stuff that was kept out of the movie. The Alamo at San Antonio fell on March 6, 1836, to a force of about 4000 Mexican soldiers commanded by Mexico’s 40-year-old president, Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, after an 11-day siege. Davy Crockett, 49, and James Bowie, 39, were among the dead. (Presaging its stingy 20th-century reputation for pro viding minimum tax dollars to the poor, disadvantaged and troubled souls of the state, it was 18 years after the Battle of the Alamo before Texas made a payment of $24 to Crockett’s widow Elizabeth for his services at the Alamo.) Most history books simply say the Alamo was a fight for freedom, but, as former UVM professor Jim Loewen writes in Lies My Teacher Told Me — Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong, that “freedom” has rarely been explained: “The freedom for which Davy Crockett, James Bowie and the rest fought at the Alamo was the freedom to own slaves! As soon as Anglos set up the Republic of Texas, its legislature ordered all free black people out of the Republic.” Texas, of course, went on to become a slave state and member of the Confederacy. Contrast that to Vermont,

(Written by William J. Marsh and Gladys Yoakum Wright, “Texas, O ur Texas” was adopted as the official state song by the Texas Legislature in 1929.) Vermont egos would never swell to this size, even if it never snowed in Colorado again, or Madonna relocated to South Burlington, or even if, say, the “Logger” emceed the Academy Awards wearing nothin’ but a maple leaf. Our state song is not some trumpet blast of us-versusthem superiority, but rather a gentle, inclusive, flute-like invitation to appreciate and protect the natural beauty of our state. “These Green M ountains” These green hills and silver waters are my home. They belong to me. And to all o f her sons and daughters May they be strong and forever fee. Let us live to protect her beauty And look with pride on the golden dome They say home is where the heart is These green mountains are my home. These green mountains are my home.

waste.” He and his friend put a bale of about 50 skins together and sent them to Mooar’s brother John in New York. Up until that time, buffalo leather was too soft to be used for industrial uses, such as belt drives for machinery. But John Mooar found tanners willing to experiment with the hides; two Pennsylvania tanners in the city had success with a new process. They ordered 2000 more hides at $3.50 each. “The rush for buffalo hides was on,” notes Prof. Andrist in The Long Death — The Last Days o f the Plains Indians. In the panic year of 1873, “the stream of hopeful hide-men became a flood, each man expecting to recoup his blasted personal fortunes with a few loads of buffalo hides.” Wright Mooar became a leg endary hunter. Mooar told an inter viewer late in life, “I killed 6,500 buffaloes with my fourteen-pound gun and 14,000 with the elevenpounder.” He preferred heavy, longrange .40 and .50-caliber Sharps rifles for his hunting. Most of his kills were in the 100- to 200-yard range, but the guns could drop a buffalo up to 600 yards away; Indians said the guns would “shoot today and kill tomorrow.” The Mooar brothers inhaled the pioneer air deeply. John wrote to his mother back in Vermont, “Have no fear about Wright and me. We are on the frontier and have to put up with what is here... Times look

(Written by Diane Martin and arranged by Rita Buglass, “These Green Mountains” was adopted by the Legislature last year.)

which upon being admitted to the Union in late 1791, became the first state to outlaw the practice. The slavery issue had been brewing for a long time before the Alamo; Mexico’s moves to end slavery in its Texas territory had raised the ire of new white planters and ranchers. The famous “300 Families” that began white settlement of Texas were desperate to keep their slaves for financial reasons. Stephen Austin — one of Texas’ early heroes whose name now graces the state’s cap ital — petitioned Mexican authorities in 1824 with other outraged citizens: “These Inhabitants therefore respectfully solicit that your sovereignty will take into Consideration the right of property they have to their slaves, that they brought them here as a necessary part of the capital required by the desert state of the country to establish their farms and ranches and, if freed, the loss of their value, added to the very heavy expenses of removing such a distance and set tling in an entire wilderness and suffering all the miseries of hunger, exposed to the attack of hostile Indians, will complete their total ruin.” W hat many history books gloss over about westward expansion could easily be a portrait of the underbelly of Texas’ “greatness” today. Historian Richard Hofstader, in The Progressive Historians: Turner,- Beard, Parrington, claims the white-washed version of Manifest Destiny leaves out: • the careless, wasteful, and exploitative methods of American agriculture;

Continued on pages 10 & 11 january 10, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 9

Texas vs. Vermont Size

Texas: 266,807 sq. miles; 2nd largest state; pop. 20,044,000 Vermont: 9614 sq. miles; 43rd largest — however, if state was flattened out, it would approach Texas in size; pop. 608,000

Gallons of M aple Syrup Produced Annually

—

No Contest! July 22, 1928, as Dallas Frederick Burrows)

State and Local Sales Tax:

Texas: 8.25 percent Vermont: 5 percent

Texas: 0 Vermont: 500,000 (approx.)

No. of Days over 9 0 Degrees Last Year: Annual State Taxes Paid Per Capita:

Annual Murders (Including Non-negligent M anslaughter) per 10 0,0 00 residents:

Texas: $1184 (U.S. Rank: 48th highest) Vermont: $1370 (U.S. Rank: 29th highest) ,01 A1•

Texas: 74.9 people per sq. mile : Vermont: 63.2 people per sq. mile

Texas: 7.7 Vermont: 1.9

Legislature:

| Famous Folks

Annual Forcible Rape per 100,000 residents:

Density

Texas: Howard Hughes, Lyndon Johnson, l Carol Burnett, Phyllis George Vermont: Ethan Allen, Dorothy Canfield Fisher, Fred Tuttle :

Presidents Born in State

- Texas: Dwight Eisenhower, Lyndon | Johnson | Vermont: Chester Arthur, Calvin Coolidge

Biggest Tourist Attraction

Texas: The Alamo (free, but “gentlemen must remove hats”) 1 Vermont: Ben & Jerry’s Factory ($1.50, and anyone can wear a hat) ■ No. of C iv ilia n Federal Employees:

Texas: 111,498 Vermont: 2693

Texas 43.8 Vermont: 27

Texas: 30 (32 in 2002 due to population growth) Vermont: 1

Texas: 24 inches, Plainview, Feb. 3-4, 19561 Vermont: 37 inches, Peru, March 14, 1984 I

2nd W eirdest Town Name:

Texas: Dial Vermont: Mary Meyer -a/-' . . .

Last State Execution:

Texas: Last Tuesday Vermont: 1954

TX: 188,296,000 lbs. Vermont: 511,000 lbs.

Percentage of Annual Daylight Hours That Are Cloudy:

■■

Texas: El Paso, 20; Dallas, 36; Houston, 441 Vermont: Burlington, 56 • , •

No. of Cockroaches:

Car Thefts per 1 0 0 ,0 0 0 residents:

Texas: Cray computers still processing Vermont: 460 -

Texas: 549 Vermont: 150 :

•

M ost Disputed Local Statement:

No. of Com m ercial Highway Billboards:

Texas: “The cockroaches aren’t that bad.” Vermont: “Grade B tastes the same as Grade A, it just looks darker.”

Texas: 14,800 Vermont: 0

• Texas: Larry Hagman (born in Weatherford, Sept. 21, 1931, as Larry Hageman) Vermont: Orson Bean (born in Burlington

(Sources: U.S. Statistical Abstract, The Texas 1 Weather Almanac, The World Almanac and j Book o f Facts, The Vermont Weather Almanac, Texas Dept, of Transportation, Texas Dept, of Corrections, Environmental j Protection Agency, and others.) ®

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page 10

* SEVEN DAYS u

january 10, 2001

Texas: 120 in Seymour, August 2, 1936 Vermont: 105 in Vernon, July 4, 1911

Most Famous Actor:

| No. of Alpine & N ordic S ki Areas:

Highest Temperature on Record:

No. of Inmates on Death Row/ Executed Last Year:

Annual Toxic Releases:

1 Texas: 0 Vermont: 62 • ‘

Greatest Snow fall in 2 4 Hours:

Texas: Telephone Vermont: Adamant

Texas: 4 Vermont: 0

State Motto:

No. of Congressmen:

Texas: 132,383 Vermont: 1119

No. of N u clear Power Plants on List of 15 Largest in U.S.:

Texas: “Friendship” Vermont: “Freedom and Unity”

Texas: 31 Senators, 150 Representatives Vermont: 30 Senators, 150 Representatives

W eirdest Town Name:

*' v

Lowest Recorded Temperature:

Texas: -21 in Tulia, Feb. 12, 1899, and in Seminole, Feb. 8, 1933 Vermont: -50 in Bloomfield, Dec. 30, 1933 |

No. of Prisoners Under Jurisdiction of State & Federal Authorities:

Texas: 445/39 Vermont: 0/0

Texas: 174 Vermont: 0

every day

T a k in g on T e x a s C o n t in u e d fro m p a g e 9

• the general waste of resources and the desecration of natural beauty; • the failure of the free lands to produce a society free of landless laborers and tenants; • the rapacity and meanness so often to be found in the petty capitalism of the new towns; • the crudeness and disorder; • the readiness to commit and willingness to tolerate violence; • the frequent ruthlessness of the frontier mind, to which Indians, Spaniards and Mexicans could tes tify and which had its repeated reverberations in national policies; • the arrogant, flimsy and selfrighteous justifications of Manifest Destiny engendered by American expansionism... Texas, in other words, may have its shiny high-rises in Houston and Dallas, its hightech industries, oil business and cotton crops, its surging popula tion growth, its bullish pride in its size and production output, but all of that has come at a cost. There remains a legacy of con quest and exploitation. As grand ma used to say, “Behind every boast, there’s usually a ghost.”

n his campaign for presi dent, George W. said he wanted to make the rest of America more “like Texas.”

Anyone who’s more than a little wary of the intention behind this statement might be forgiven. The Texas that George W. sees as a model has the worst, or close to worst, state rankings in a number of areas: teen births and divorce; juvenile arrests; number of medically uninsured chil^mn; infant mortality; early pre-natal care; rates of child abuse and neglect; overall conditions for bringing up children; per capita state spending on public health; family income; percentage of workers in unions; welfare pay ment for family of three; spend ing on parks and recreation; exe cutions and minimal human rights for prisoners. “Success by Six” in Texas might mean the number of years a football coach is given to win a championship. “In every single major category of quality of life and protections for the health and well-being of families, espe cially children and the poor, Texas consistently ranks at or near the bottom of the barrel,” Dr. Myrna Estep of San Antonio writes in an article for the online journal Feminista!, entitled “In George W. Bush’s Texas.” She asserts, “George W.’s legacy as governor of Texas is one of com passionate cruelty, not compas sionate conservatism.” The environmental record is not so hot, either. Texans appar ently have a philosophy that eco nomic progress at nearly any price is good, and that business

by necessity gets a little messy at times. Just consider the huge Texas oil-spill exactly 100 years ago that ushered in a great boom. On January 10, 1901, the famed Spindletop gusher was struck in Beaumont, an oil field so huge it held more oil than the rest of the United States combined. The flow was stupendous — 110,000 barrels a day — and it flowed

air pollution causes at least 430 deaths per year, another kind of deafh'peaajty. ” Maybe Texas’ longstanding we’ll-deal-with-it-later mentality about the environment was the reason most Texans didn’t have a problem with the Sierra Blanca nuclear waste storage facility pro posal. O f course, it was dumb for Vermonters to want to ship their

The conservative theme of “vob' untary compliance,” rather than litigation? was invoked without snickers; but, according to the Dallas Morning News, only 30 of the 450 plants that weren’t facing federal or state mandated emis sion cuts actually began a volun tary program. The “voluntary” style of pollution control is some thing that W. wants to try on a

Texas egos, after all, are like their problems — big. Just ponder their current tourist m otto — “It’s a whole other country.” unchecked for more than a week before it was contained. That philosophy of “profits now, cleanups later — much later” continues today. According to EPA figures, Texas is ranked number one in air and water pol lution, with much of the water pollution coming from mega sized factory farms and feedlots. The Environmental Defense Fund says Texas is also number one in overall toxic releases, rec ognized and suspected carcino gens in the air, and for cancer risk. As feisty Texas columnist Molly Ivins notes in her recent book, Shrub, “A study done by the city of Houston itself shows

low-level nuclear waste from Vermont Yankee all the way to Texas, but you might say it would have been even dumber to accept it.

atch for the new President to do a lot of “delegating,” just like he did running Texas. George W. called a 1999 bill “his greatest environmental achieve ment” as Governor, but critics charged that the bill — which closed loopholes for more than 800 industrial polluting plants — was practically written by the polluting companies themselves.

national scale. It’s one thing for Texans to trash their own state, but when they want to take it national, that’s when we need to take a stand. Instead of the Texas Rangers storming over the top of the hill to save the day, maybe it’s time for someone else to have a go at the guv. Maybe that little o f state in New England with the former Great Lake. For the next four — or eight — years, Vermont’s small size, its pioneer ing social and environmental leg islation, and its hard-headed choice to stand outside the main stream could be a beautiful burr under George Bush’s saddle. ®

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SEVEN DAYS

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hen Julius Caesar was 25 years old, he was captured by pirates and held for ransom on an island off the coast of Asia Minor. O f this 40-day captivity, Caesars biogra pher Suetonius says only that it caused him “intense annoyance.” Caesar, of course, survived and went on to become conqueror of Gaul and master of Rome. Vincent Panella, who teaches writing at Vermont Law School, has taken this mysterious episode as the subject of his first novel. Panella makes Caesars cap ture the pivot of his extraordi nary career. When Cutter, the pirate chief, crosses his path, Caesar is a young, untried man, battling to stay alive as civil war between the Populares and Optimates flares in Rome. The Populares, led by Caesar’s uncle Marius, wish to extend Roman political rights to those outside the city, while the Optimates, the party of the nobility led by the gross and violent Sulla, want to control the state themselves. After Marius’ death, Caesar is a marked man. In order to stay unnoticed he has had to pretend to be ineffectual and harmless, and even so has barely escaped with his head. The story begins with Caesar leaving Italy, ostensi bly to study rhetoric with a Greek master on the island of Rhodes, but in fact to distance himself from the fighting. The hopes of the Populares are resting on him, but he is plagued by self-doubt. In Panella’s version of events, Cutter’s attack changes every thing. Languishing in the pirate village, captor and captive are caught up on an uneasy battle of wills. Caesar vows to exact revenge upon Cutter, but also learns from him about the nature of power and what he must do to seize his destiny. As Cutter is made to pay the price for his rebellion against Roman authori ty, Caesar shows that he has learned the most valuable lesson of all: that ruthlessness and mercy are not mutually exclusive.

It feels a little odd to be reviewing a book about Caesar at a time when one of the least Caesar-esque figures ascends to the American presidency. In the ancient world, George W. Bush would probably have lasted about as long as a man holding a sirloin steak in the Coliseum when the lions were released. It’s a measure of Panella’s skill that he manages to evoke, in a scant; 196 pages, what power meant to the Romans and their enemies. He distills the bloody, inter necine fighting that eventually brought down the Roman Republic into a few sharply con structed vignettes. These stud the action as flashbacks, showing Caesar with his wife, his power ful mistress Servilia — whose son is Marcus Brutus, one of Caesar’s eventual killers — and at the mercy of Marius and Sulla. Unlike many writers of his torical fiction, the author doesn’t overburden his prose with period detail. Instead, through concise description and subtle inference, he allows the reader to construct the past in his or her own mind. It’s not so much what he puts in but what he carefully leaves out: Caesar is the story’s narrator and his style is undeniably modern, but even so there are no anachro nisms, no jarring notes. The reader is not cajoled, but lulled backwards in time. That said, there isn’t much else about Cutter’s Island that is elegiac. It’s a quick-moving, stripped-down lesson in aspects of human nature that the mod ern era is supposed to have left behind. Both Caesar and Cutter inhabit a world in which lives have little value except as gaming pieces to be risked or lost in the struggle for power. Cutter him self is a magnificent creation, a one-armed barbarian with a vio lent and tragic past. He has been a slave, a rebel and a gladiator, and has learned to hate the Romans more deeply with every passing year. To Cutter, Caesar is a rare prize, likely to win him a colossal ransom. But the young noble man is also a representative of

Cutter’s Island: Caesar in Captivity, by Vincent Panella. Academy Chicago Publishers, 196 pages. $23.

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the enemy, of the people who have cost him his arm, his free dom and his innocence. He wishes to teach Caesar a lesson, and to show him why the Romans are hated and resisted: It’s common for your people to explore everything to excess, includ ing death. They particularly relish the deaths o f the brave ones who mock fate by surrendering their hard-won freedom and returning to the arena for glory and money -rT the crowd deifies these men. Having lost their sense o f personal valor, your people honor nothing

divine lineage, ambition, whether I ’ll survive the Sullans, whether Servilia knows my future, she with the lips like knives, the nipples as red as blood, she who swims with me over the warm seas o f lovemak ing, all this is the purple cloth o f vanity concealing the chains in which I ’m shackled. Panella has taken one of his tory’s dark, forgotten corners and constructed a luminous, haunt ing fable. Caesar’s conviction that civilization is a fragile thing, a blessing that must constantly be maintained by hard effort, is

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more than heroism in others, victo ry against all odds. But heroism being rare in the arena, they feast on poor fare in greater amounts. Vicious butchery whips them into a frenzy, and they wallow in the false tragedy o f prearranged death. Caesar does learn from his captivity, and proves it at the expense of Cutter and his men. Promises must be kept, and jus tice meted out, even if it means the shedding of blood. Above all, he finds the key to his own des tiny: I must be Caesar, for in this world, rebellion is constant. . .. I must be, but am I? In thinking * moments the parts that I play peel from my mind like the layers o f an onion: the poet, the man o f taste,the personification o f Roman Law, the outraged, the executioner. In my core I could be satisfied as a temple priest living on the money from supplicants. .. anywhere but in Rome, that city more ravaged than Sulla’s visage. Achievement,

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here’s that long stretch after the foliage has its final say. W inter is lurk ing behind every wind-swept downtown building, like a growling polar bear in the dis tance. Now its early January, and the bear has arrived. I’m idling on a Thursday night at a down town taxi stand. There’s no shutting it down to save gas anymore; winter nights demand a non-stop purring heater. For us cabbies, the cold weather is a mixed blessing. On the plus side, there are more fares. People don’t want to walk even short distances in a deep freeze, nor do they relish wait ing for the bus, or even driving their own cars — i f they start ^ — when it’s snowy. On the negative side, we cabbies get worn down by the mental strain of hours sliding around treach- I erous roads. O f course, here in Vermont, brutal winter condi tions are the third inevitability, right after death and taxes. Why complain about the ineluctable? Gossamer flurries begin swirling in wavy circles over the black asphalt. I find myself drifting back to a favorite warm-weather memory. Firmly placed in my top five taxi moments of the new century is the Night of the Nudie Cyclists. It was the last week of class es and the graduating seniors were feeling frisky. Some bril liant summa cum laude must have come up with the idea — the sort of project that makes perfect sense only in the final week of college life. The whooping and cheering was my first clue. All at once, the streets were buzzing with energy. I was waiting for a pick up in front of Sweetwaters when the first naked man whizzed past on a bicycle. Then another. Then three naked women, a couple more men, a few more women. Regarding the naked men, my first thought was, “Gee, that’s gotta hurt.” As to the women, my reaction was, “W hat a terrific new way to enjoy cycling!” Meanwhile, the crowds on the street were loving it. It was like the circus had come to town. Luckily my Sweetwaters fare was only going to the Sheraton. I shot up the hill, dropped them off and made it back in time to catch naked people on

wheels turning onto Main at the corner of Mr. Mike’s Pizza. There was a disciplined manner to this madness, a commando like precision to their forma tion. It appeared they were exe cuting figure-eights, swinging through the downtown streets. Then, with a startling

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Hall and the old firehouse. The poor kid at least had some pants on, but he still looked mortified. As they came closer, I saw that he was in handcuffs. Before placing him in the cruiser, the arresting officer began reading him the riot act. “D ’ya know how stupid

Regarding the naked men, first thought was, “Gee hat’s gotta hurt.” As to the women, my reaction was, “What a terrific new way to eniov cycling!” alacrity, the Burlington Police appeared in force. The APB must have gone out: Naked People on Bikes! It seemed like half the patrol cars in the fleet were pulling up to City Hall, blue lights a-flashing. The offi cers sprang from their vehicles and began methodically fanning out onto the streets. The coor dination appeared practiced, as if the Chief of Police had fore seen the possibility of just such a civic disturbance and had pre pared a Naked City Swat Team, as it were, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. At the sign of the cops, the naked bikers split up — it was save yourself, every man and woman for him or her naked self. There was no question who the crowd was routing for in this competition. Everyone was lustily booing the blue-clads and gleefully cheering the nonclads. Here and there, the police managed to corner and catch one, and then handcuff and haul off the naked offender to a patrol car. It looked like most of the bikers were managing to elude capture and flee into the safety of the neighborhoods. I took up a sentry position at the corner of Church and Main — the best vantage point, I fig ured, to take in the finale of this evening street drama. Sure enough, I saw an officer with one last biker in tow emerge from the narrow alleyway between City

this is? This is disgusting.” The cop was right in the kid’s face. “What kind of life are you mak ing for yourself? What the hell are you going to tell your par ents when we book your ass?” Wisely, the young man did n’t say a word. From the steps of City Hall, a sergeant called out, summoning the officer. “Don’t move a friggin’ mus cle,” he barked at the kid, “I’ll be right back.” Without thinking about it too carefully — my standard modus operandi — I pulled my taxi up alongside the police car. “Hey, buddy,” I said from my window, gaining the kid’s attention. “Don’t be worrying about what that cop told you. You’re just gonna get fined, that’s all.” The guy looked at me, and shrugged his shoulders. It’s hard to relax about a situation when your wrists are pinioned behind your back. “This night,” I continued, “is one for the books — one for your grandchildren. You’re gonna remember the thrill of it for the rest of your life. So just be respectful to the officer, and — ” “Cabbie — you having a problem here?” The officer was back. “You’re blocking traffic, so move it along, all right?” “Hey, at least I got my clothes on!” I replied, and took off down the street. ®

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visiting, a young woman arrived at the window looking for a lost stocking cap. “Do you really expect you’ll find it here?” I asked. “There’s always hope,” she said. Could anyone traveling New York’s subway say the same? The winter does drive Mon trealers underground, as the miles of subterranean shopping and tunnels attest. Some resi dents both live and work above Metro stations and don’t have to don winter coats for days at a time. The subway’s busiest day in 1999 was not during Jazz Fest or the equally crowded fireworks festival, but mid-winter, February 11. It must have been the weath er, Metro PR man Serge Sevard told me. Either that or a lot of Valentine’s Day shopping. In the warmer months, above ground, the other half of the Societe de Transport de la Communaute Urbain de Montreal — that’s buses to you — also offer a great way to navi gate the city. System-wide maps are available at Metro kiosks, and are models of clarity. Bus stops are well marked, and there’s usu ally a line map posted at the stop so you can double-check your route.

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eed an excuse to start learning the Montreal Metro? Try winter. Prowling for parking in the neighborhoods off St-Denis and St-Laurent is like visiting a diora ma of the Ice Age. Even if some one else manages to extricate his car from the sky-high snow plowed piles, getting yours into that space will likely require the maneuvering skills of a Teamster. On many streets, folks just give up parallel parking altogether and jam their cars diagonally into the drifts. N ot only does parking present a physical chal lenge, but parking spaces in the city are probably reduced by half. Which brings us to the Metro. Dry, clean, warm and safe, it takes you to within a cou ple of blocks of wherever you’d want to go in the city. A testa ment to its success is the fact that 50 percent of adults and more than 30 percent of families resid ing on the Island of Montreal don’t own cars. Here in Vermont, with our spotty public trans portation systems, it’s hard to develop a habit of using them, and harder yet to teach our chil dren how to use them where they do exist. That’s another good rea

son to ride the Metro. Montreal’s subway is actually a recent phenomenon, unlike those of Boston and New York. It was a showpiece of the urban developments undertaken for Expo 67. In fact, the dirt from the tunnel excavations was dumped in the St. Lawrence River to create the island of Notre Dame, which accommo dated part of that exhibition and also served as a major venue for the 1976 Olympics. The civility that permeates Canadian culture is evident on the Metro. Crowds are extremely polite, personal space isn’t violat ed, seats are actually given up for the elderly and disabled, and travelers turn in left-behind items to a central Lost and Found office. Marc Ouellet, keeper of les choses perdus at the BerriUQAM station, led me through the cache last week — bins full of hats and mittens, hundreds of key rings, a box of cell phones, a safe full of wallets, watches and jewelry. In a room ceiling-high with metal shelving, Ouellet managed an orderly display of abandoned shopping bags, lunch boxes and briefcases. One of the strangest finds he could recall is there right now: a wheelchair! While I was

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Metro stops and popular attractions In Beijing and Mexico City, the subway maps include photos or icons of what is above ground at each stop. For Montreal, you’ll need a guide. (They aren’t all as easy as the Jean-Talon Market and its eponymous Metro station.)

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Eaton Centre, The Bay Cours de Mont Royal Opera, Theatre Maisonneuve Latin Quarter, lower St-Denis Fireworks festival, best view Chinatown, Old Montreal Molson Center Fine Arts Museum Atwater Market Jarry Park (tennis stadium) Botanical Garden, Insectarium, and Olympic Stadium The Village La Ronde

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Some of the buses are also mini city tours. The St-Laurent bus, for example, starts in Old Town, in front of the Notre Dame cathedral, one block north of IMAX. Ride the bus north through Chinatown, the nightclub district and that poly glot shopping wonder, “The M ain.” Stay on for a ride through a warehouse district and pass Le Petit Patrie, Little Italy, home of the Jean-Talon Market. After that, the bus skirts Jarry Park with its tennis

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Success stadium, site of the Canadian Open every August, and then loops back to downtown via StUrbain. The most scenic bus ride is the Montagne route, which starts at the Mont-Royal Metro station and climbs to the top of the mountain. The turnaround is the traffic rotary near the skating rink at Lac aux Castors — a short walk also to the city overlook in the middle of the park. Another scenic favorite of mine is Av. des Pins, leaving from Atwater and Ste-Catherine for a swooping ride along the side of Mont-Royal, through the tony consulate row, and overlooking downtown and McGill College on its way to trendy St-Denis. Strips of six one-ride tickets — un lisere — are on sale at all Metro kiosks, in many depanneurs and tobacco shops, and currently cost $8.50 CDN. These are good for bus and sub way. Transfers are available from machines in the Metro stations, and by request from bus drivers. If you plan on a day of trav el, an unlimited one-day or three-day pass, called the Tourist Card, is available for $7 and $14, respectively, from April to October at all down town Metro kiosks, and at the Info-Touriste center on Dominion Square, near Peel and Rene Levesque. During the winter, the Card is available only at the Berri-UQAM sta tion. Scratch the date you want, a la lottery ticket, to use the pass; buy several and use them as needed. And when you ride the Orange Line, don’t forget as the train leaves each station to listen for the harmonic song of Expo 67 — the first three notes o f' Aaron Copland’s New World Symphony. Quelle ville! (Z)

C C V gave m e a ch an ce t o d isco v er th a t learning can b e exciting, so m eth in g I n ev e r knew in high school. N o t only am I learning a lot, I’m also really enjoying my success. U — Robert C. Hale, Andover

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Winter Programs at the YMCA "y w y w M ost cla sse s run Jan. 22 - March 4. (Y M C A M em bers pay fee in parentheses. Registration begins Jan. 11.) S a lsa & M erengue Try the easiest of the Latin dances. Sat 3 - 4 pm $42 ($30)

YGYMNASTICS Children use age appropriate equipment and activities such as music, balls, tumbling mats, and later gymnastic equipment, to develop physically and socially. Beginner gymnasts develop self-confidence, coordination and flexibility. Little Gymies (18 mos. —3 yrs. w / parent) Sat 9:05-9:35 am $45 ($30) Tiny Tumblers (4 —5 yrs. w/parent) Sat 9:40-10:10 am $45 ($30)

YGROUP EXERCISE AEROBICS Aerobic C lass P a ss Try any of our 21 aerobic classes each week. Step, -Hi/Lo Mix, plus these classes:

M on/W ed/F ri 1 - 2pm and Tue/Thu 8 - 9am $58 ($41)

YOLDER ADULTS Silver Foxes Moderately-paced, co ed exercise class for those over 50. Gym & Pool: M on/W ed/F ri 8 -9:30am $70 ($56) Gym only: M on/W ed/F ri 8 - 8:50am $59 ($47)

*Tai-Box *20/20/20 *CIub Workout *Step-Box *Recess Workout ^Weekend Workout *Danceaerobics

Never-Too-Late Nautilus Folks over 50 —improve strength and energy levels, ease arthritis pain & build strong bones. Tue/Fri 9 - 10am $60 ($42)

$59 (Free to members!)

SPINNING

Free to Members! Classes: M o n /6:10 —7:15pm, Tue/6:10 6:55am, 7:10-7:55am, 9:10-9:55am, 12:10-12:55pm, Wed/6:10-6:55pm, Thu/6:10-6:55am, 7:10-7:55am, 9:1010:15am, 12:10-12:55pm, 6:10-6:50am, Sat/9:10-10:15am. 10 class punch card: $55

YHEALTH& FITNESS Tai Chi Thu 6:10 - 7am $35 ($25) Yoga No experience necessary. At Edmunds Elem.: Thu 5:30-6:30 pm $46 ($32) At the YMCA: Wed 6:15-7:45 am $54 ($38) Fri 5 :3 0 -7 pm $54 ($38) Weight Loss Through Weight Training Strength training and aerobic endurance activities to lose fat and gain muscle definition. M on/W ed/F ri 7 - 8pm $81 ($54)

Call about our free Diabetes exercise class.

DANCE Children’s Dance call for info on our children's dance classes. For kids ages 12 months to 5 years. Dance Therapy Creative movement and dance class for children with developmental delays. At the YMCA. $36 ($24) Ages 2-5 w/parent: Sat 12 —12:45 pm Ages 6-12: Sat 12:45-1:30 pm Bootcam p Ballet The conditioning effects of ballet. No dance experience necessary. Bare feet or ballet/jazz shoes recommended. Fri 7 - 8pm $46 ($34) Music Video Dance Learn hot hiphop m oves seen in music videos. Sat 4:15-5:15 pm $46 ($34) American Style Ballroom Level IF Intermediate. Learn the Foxtrot, Tango and Waltz. Mon 7 -8 p m $42 ($30)

Better Bones E xercise C lass Strength training using exertubes, flexibility and balance exercises. T ue/Thu 9 - 10am $45 ($32)

YVWnB! FITNESS^ Pre & Post-Natal Water E xercise Relieve lower back pain & swelling, maintain muscle tone and increase blood circulation. M on/ Wed 7 - 8pm $52 ($36) %. Tue/Thu 11am —12 pm $52 ($36)

Swing Level II For those comfortable with basic patterns in Jitterbug and East Coast Swing. Mon 8 - 9pm $42 ($30)

Splash & Tone For all fitness levels. Tue/Thu 6:30-7:30 pm $52 ($36) Water Tai Chi : ''V Tue/Thu 1 - 2pm $52 ($36)

YSPOfflS SELF DEFENSE/MARTIAL ARTS Shotokan Karate Ages 12 and up. Develop self confidence and self discipline, balance, agility, strength and endurance. Adult students also learn self-defense. Tue/Thu 4 - 5:15pm Ages 12 —17: Free Adults $72 (Free) Adult Karate In racquetball court. Tue 5 —6 pm $60 (Free) Kickboxing (Ages 13 - adult) Learn punching, kicking, and blocking, with heavy bag work, pad drills and fighting strategy in this whole body exercise. Safety is emphasized. Wed 6:30 - 8pm $60 ($42) Co-Ed Youth Basketball League Boys and girls ages 8 —10 years learn the fundamentals of basketball. Sun 2 :3 0 -4 pm $45 ($36)

Fun games and activities in the gym. Water sports, games, stroke development and water safety in the pool. For ages 6-10 years.

Feb. 26 —March 2 Mon-Fri/ 9am —Noon $95 ($70)

YAQUATICS Competitive Swimming Program YMCA Dynam os is our competitive sw im program for ages 5 and older. Junior Dynam os offers new swimmers an introduction to competitive swimming. Dynamo Masters, for ages 19 and older, is a training program for adults. Call for our team's brochure for specific details, about training groups, practice times and fees. Adaptive Swim Program Individualized swim instruction for persons with disabilities. A parent or care-giver is required to assist swimmers in the locker room. Call Adaptive Swim Coordinator Diane Chandler at 862-9622 to register. March 7 - April 11 $52 ($36) Lifeguarding Program (16 yrs. and older) Provides knowledge and skills on preventative life guarding, communications, administrative skills and watermanship. Call for more info. Feb. 28 —April 11. Wed 6 - 1 0 pm $250 ($175)

YM EM BERSHII’ Join the Greater Burlington YMCA

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Swim Lessons are available at the YMCA fore everyone ages 6 months and up. Call for days and times. Parent-Child G lasses for ages 6-36 months. Parent is in water with child. $45 ($31) P reschool C lasses for ages 3-5 years. Children sw im without a parent. $52 ($36)

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isten, the country survived the presidencies of Nixon, Reagan — even the pantless antics of Bill Clinton. I’m not worried that a barely literate frat boy like George W. Bush is going to do irreparable damage to the United States of America when he takes office days from now. I’m worried that he’ll do irreparable damage to American TV. Think about it: The guy has n’t even been sworn in, and he’s already pulled the rug out from under the strongest, snap-crackle-poppingest market in modern times. By simply being a goomer and grumbling a couple of surly scripted remarks, he’s got in vestors dumping stock and shak ing in their Guccis. Imagine what he could do to Must-See Thursday. If you question for a second the fact that the medium reflects the sensibility and character of the Chief Executive these days, bear in mind it was the Clinton years which brought us “Spring Break W ith Jerry Springer” on Mtv, complete with strip-poker matches and streaking. Bill can also take credit for prime-time nudity on network shows like “NYPD Blue,” nearly total relax ation of traditional standards and practice codes, “The Cindy Margolis Show” and Richard Hatch. As legacies go, that might not sound like much, but it beats the hell out of round-theclock “Hee-Haw.” Don’t laugh. It’s not all that preposterous a thought. I have it on good authority the President Elect’s first choice for Attorney General was “Walker, Texas Ranger.” But seriously. The next four years are unlikely to be golden, enlightened or Camelotesque. Thirty-six days of post-election broadcast chaos may be only the beginning of Dubya’s impact on American television. From where I sit, the new leader of the free world looks a whole lot like Dan Quayle in cowboy boots. My sense is, when we turn on our TVs come 2004, we’llTe damn lucky if what we find is no weirder than the following:

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Tumble and Splash Creative movement and tumbling, then head for the pool for fun swim activities. Group 1: Ages 2 & 3 (w/parent) Sat 11am - noon $60 ($42) Group 2: Ages 3-5 (w /o parent) Sat 11:30am - 12:30pm $75 ($52)

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Water Aerobics M on/W ed 6 —7 pm $52 ($36)

page, 18

Beginner G ym nastics ( 6 - 1 2 years) Sat 10:15-1 1 a m $51 ($36)

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dynasty. With soft money from Mr. Drysdale, Jed successfully runs for President and Jethro later follows him into the White House after a series of dubious recounts supervised impartially by Miss Hathaway. HANGING JUDGES Feeling that the stars of day time courtroom shows like judges Mills, Lane, Mathis, Joe Brown and Judy have been unfairly hamstrung, the new President grants the TV person alities the authority to impose the>-desthipefthity; Sonia car Bloomberg of Encino becomes r’

tragic truck-dragging mix-up while passing through the Bible Belt, and their bereaved friend gradually evolves into a plucky Mary Richards for the new mil lennium.

FRIENDS The phenomenally popular comedy remains on the air, but Courteney Cox Arquette is mys teriously replaced by out-of-work Florida toady Katherine Harris.

C & W SPAN Rights to behind-the-scenes beltway coverage and commen tary are turned over to The Nashville Network.

DALLAS By order of the White House, the long-running saga of an influencial, alcohol-soaked Texas clan airs non-stop on Nick at Nite.

OIL WELLS THAT END WELL As a courtesy to friends with ties to energy concerns and big industry, the new administration

I’m not worried that a barely literate frat boy like

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damage to American TV.l the First person in American his tory executed for not repaying a bitter ex-roommate for her share of the rent. GRACE

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sees to it that movies like The China Syndrome, Silkwood, A Civil Action and Erin Brockovich are broadcast on TV, but only after they are given revised, busi ness-friendly endings. ? |;

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TH E WESTERN W ING Bush pulls strings to have the name of the popular White House drama changed and its star, Martin Sheen, replaced by John Schneider from "The Dukes of Hazzard.” SHERMAN AND MR. PEABODY The History Channel goes all-cartoon and deals with only those events and subjects which can be explained using the com bination of a boy, his bespecta cled dog and a Wayback Machine. . ; Hey, it could happen. Who knows what mutant new mon ster medium might be bred from this unholy mating ofThe Grand Old Party and The Grand OF Opry? If those 36 days taught us anything, however, its that the future is not ours to see and it doesn’t pay to say too much too soon. So I’ll say no more for now. Benefit of the doubt. Not another word. If on Inauguration Day you should happen to hear the theme from “Bonanza” instead of “Hail to the Chief,” though, don’t say I didn’t warn you. ®

• M e n to r to w o r k w ith you in y o u r com m u n ity • C o u rs e s held on and off cam pus statewide: Weekends., evenings, Internet^ jadependent study.

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SEVEN DAYS

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page 20

SEVEN DAYS

January 10, 2001

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ABird '"""Hand

Will a bit of controversy ground Vermont falconry school?

and far away. Now one of them is sitting on my hand. I have just ‘cast” and recalled “Miss Piggy,” the apt if unelegant name of my charge. The exercise is part of her daily training regimen, which keeps her in shape for hunting. This is the British School of Falconry at the Equinox Resort in Manchester — one of two schools in the U.S. that allows unpermitted people to handle raptors under the supervision of a general or master falconer. Since 1995, Steve and Emma Ford have introduced all kinds of people to this brand of big birding. But their democratic approach has inspired criticism from fellow fal coners who would clip their wings. “My” bird is a Harris hawk. Natives of the Southwest, Harris hawks hunt pheasant, partridge, rabbit and squirrel, as well as snakes, frogs and moles — small game also available in the Northeast. Their balanced tem perament makes them ideal for handling by strangers. Harris

B y B erne B roudy take a step forward with my right foot, at the same time flinging my left arm towards the sky. The hawk gripping my leather-gloved wrist reluctantly spreads her wings, catching the wind and flipping momentarily on her back in the air. She rights herself with two beats of the wing, catching an updraft and gracefully soaring to the nearest raised perch. A few moments later, master falconer Rob Waite instructs me to raise my arm. The stunning bird leaves its perch with wings wide and glides towards me. Though she can dive-bomb din ner with enough force to kill it instantly, she lands on my wrist like a feather and gobbles the tiny piece of beef Waite has placed there. My heart is beating wildly. I have never held such a bird. To me, raptors have always been aloof, aggressive, mysterious —

hawks are the only raptors that hunt in a group. And they’re no birdbrains: They quickly learn that flying to a raised glove will get them an appetizer, and hon ing in on whatever the hunting dog points at will earn them a feast. Piggy wears a band, bells, leather jesses and a radio trans mitter on her ankles — quite a load for a relatively small bird — but she doesn’t seem to mind. The band signifies she was born in captivity; the bells help the fal coner find her when she’s hunting

in the woods. So does the bell affixed to her tail feather — Harris hawks give a little shimmy when they land. The radio trans mitter is a last resort for birds that may have overeaten and flown astray. Miss Piggy is just under two pounds, about a foot in length, and has a brown speckled chest, polished ebony talons and a beak to match. Despite her weight, she is majestic and powerful. I have no idea what to do with her next. Waite doesn’t let me wonder for long. We go on a hawk walk.

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“bacon.” From King Ethelbert II to George III, every British monarch flew falcons. By the 18th century, falconry entered the realm of the common man — albeit those with a lot of spare time. I have no illusions that I’m truly practicing falconry. My bird has been trained by someone else, and I’m only with Miss Piggy for an hour of entertainment. Waite, a falcon junkie, makes it clear that falconry is a serious sport, and that keeping a bird is akin to having a child. In the U.S., federal regula tions require an aspiring falconer to demonstrate long-term dedica tion to the sport. Before you can touch a bird, you must build indoor and outdoor quarters to house the raptor, pass — with a minimum score of 80 percent — a written exam on bird handling, equipment, health and habits, and apprentice with a general or master falconer for two years of training. After earning an appren tice permit, the beginning falcon er is allowed to try trapping a yearling trainee from the wild. Raptors have a 75 percent chance of dying of natural causes their first year in the wild. One reason falconry is so highly regu lated is that those raptors in the U.S. not yet extinct are on the protected or endangered list. There are extensive regulations prohibiting their disturbance, except by falconers and breeders, and the only birds that can be

v: taken from the wild for falconry attachments. -r‘ are the most populous species: the Piggy drives home this point. red-tailed hawk and American Her x-ray eyes are constantly kestrel. searching for the movement of In Vermont a permit costs possible prey. When Waite throws $250, but the biggest expense is out a training lure — a pheasant really time. “Its not like you can wing on a string — Piggy attacks go away for the weekend and T it before I know what’s happened. leave the hawk at the kennel,” Hawks and falcons don’t Ford reminds. But in spite of the become domesticated. The fal commitment and regulations, coner rewards the bird with meat 3500 falconers are registered in whenever it performs, and the the U.S. — 10 of them are in bird gets to eat what it catches. Vermont. For a falcon, a successful hunt Waite looks lovingly at Piggy, who is waiting for her next cue. He is obviously attached to her, but she’s only interested in finding food. That makes sense, consider ing she needs to eat the equivalent of 20 percent of her body weight every day. Birds of prey are designed to capture rabbits, results in a kill. For a more paci rodents and other birds either on fist falconer, the perfect hunt the ground or in the air. They are ends after an extended chase with built tor speed, maneuverability a clump of rabbit hair in the and efficiency. The peregrine fal bird’s talons, the bunny hopping con is the fastest around, snatch away, and the bird too exhausted ing flying prey at upwards of 200 to fly further. miles per hour. A peregrine tack Falconers have to monitor a les breakfast, lunch and dinner in bird’s weight and performance approximately two minutes of daily. If the bird is flown when it’s hunting a day. Unlike their han not hungry enough to hunt, or dlers, they develop no emotional above its “flying weight,” the han

dler might find himself singing “Bye, Bye Birdie.” If the bird is too hungry when it goes to hunt, it will tire quickly. The window is a matter of ounces.

■he Vermont school is the Fords’ second. In 1982, they founded the worlds first dedicated falconry school in Great Britain, now at the Guinness-owned Gleneagles Resort in Scotland. Some 33,000

“It’s not like we’re barbecuing hawks and serving them to neonle

for dinner. We’re just providing an experience for people who can’t

take it on as a full-time sport.” — falconer Steve Ford have studied there. Since 1995, 7000 students have passed through the Vermont school. This has ruffled the feathers of some falconers who would like to see the Vermont venue regulated into extinction. It is the opinion of some members of the North American Falconers Association — including 32-year veteran fal coner Frank Bond in New Mexico — that the school is

compromising the sport; As counsel for NAFA, Bond has petitioned the U.S. Department > of Fish and Wildlife to review the schools permit since 1997, and to consider replacing it with a per mit that would effectively prohib it the uninitiated from experienc ing a bird at close range. While NAFA’s argument seems like so many technicalities to an outsider, emotions are run ning high, and that makes the real issues hard to distill. It appears the NAFA faction that Bond represents doesn’t like the idea of money being made off birds of prey, and they seem con cerned that bringing falconry into the public realm will somehow threaten their own privileges. The irony is that all British School of Falconry handlers belong to NAFA — and clearly have a dif ferent opinion. U.S. Fish and Wildlife, under the pressure of two expiring school permits and a third appli cation for a school, is proceeding cautiously. They want to make sure they’re abiding by their own regulations, and protecting both wild birds and those bred in cap tivity. And they’re turning to the public for guidance. Last November the agency sent out an appeal to school stu dents and others, asking whether non-permitted individuals should be allowed to handle birds with supervision. Diane Pense, authop of the notice and the D FW ’s C o n t in u e d on p a g e 2 3

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good for the gander,” he says. Perhaps the Fords should have dropped the word “British” from the name of their school. U.S. Fish and Wildlife is accepting comments through January 19. A final decision will not be made until late spring or early summer, when all submis sions have been reviewed. In the meantime, the school has a tem porary permit allowing it to con tinue operations as is. Already, the testimonials are pouring in, many strongly in favor of keeping the school. Casting, catching and holding a hawk proves an intense, moving and exhilarating experience. I

B ir d in th e H a n d Continued from page 22 wildlife biologist, says the deci sion will depend to a great extent on what these people have to say. “We have the ability to amend the regulations,” she says. “Were looking forward to hearing the arguments presented on both sides.” The Fords fail to understand Bond’s passionate position against falconry schools. The British School of Falconry exceeds mini mum standards for their birds. As Steve Ford puts it, no expense has been spared in caring for their birds. “It’s not some dark, under world thing,” he comments. “It’s not like we’re bar becuing hawks and serving them to people for din ner. We re just providing an experience for people who can’t take it on as a full-time sport.” Pense suggests the conflict may evidence a hint of anglophobia. “It does feel like there is an aspect of the Fords importing European cul ture to the U.S. at their school,” she admits with matter-of-fact neutrality. “There aren’t the same kinds of regulations in the U.K. Neither is right or wrong, they’re just different.” Bond voices a similar feeling. “W hat’s good for the gp.ose^n’t ,

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UVM Ticket Store

Burlington VT

• - ' ■6 5 6 - 4 0 & F t :

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january 10, 2001

S E V E O A Y F : page 23

BLUES JAM, Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern,

WEDNESDAY RED THREAD W/RANDY CROSBY, JOHN CREECH & BILL PATTON (jazz),

9 p.m. NC. MAGGI, PIERCE & EJ (folk-rock), Toadstool Harry's, 9 p.m. NC.

Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter),

Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT’S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE WARRENS (rock), Nectar’s, 8 p.m. NC. COSMIC DILEMMA, HUMAN CANOE REVIEW (jam rock), Club Metronome,

9 p.m. $2. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hip-

hop/reggae), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. $6. 18+ VINYL ONE INTERNATIONAL (DJs DMaximum, Chancellor, Ninjahforce; reggae/dancehall), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ before 11 p.m. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE,

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. GREGORY DOUGLASS (singer-song

TRAYS IN UPRIGHT POSITION?

Word has it that concert promoters sometimes warn audi-

writer), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC.

ences to fasten their seatbelts before a Greg Greenway show. If that doesn’t clue you in to the buzz about this talented troubadour, see for yourself — Friday at the Burlington Coffeehouse.

THURSDAY OPEN MIKE, Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC. ELLEN POWELL & MIKE SUCHER (jazz),

Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. ZEN & THE ART OF DANCING (DJs

Moonflower, Sam I Am, Mike P.), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. PHIL HENRY (folk-rock singer-songwriter), Pacific Rim, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock), Steer & Stein, 9:30 p.m. NC. SIRSY (groove rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. VORCZA TRIO (lounge/jazz/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOAPFLAKES (improv comedy), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $5. MAD MOUNTAIN SCRAMBLERS (bluegrass), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. LADIES NIGHT W/DJ ROBBIE J. (Top 40), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. Women NC/$7; men $2/7. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K. & JZEE (hip-hop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BUDDAH & 0X0 (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE,

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SUPER SOUNDS KARAOKE, Otter Creek

Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m.

NC. DJ PARTY, Gallagher's, 9 p.m. NC. SETH YACOVONE BLUES BAND,

NC = NO COVER. AA = ALL AGES.

www.highergroundmusic.com i Tickets for Higher Ground shows are also available at the Higher Ground box office, Pure Pop Records, Peacock Music (Plattsburgh), or charge by phone at 800.965.4827.

“ Tickets for Higher Ground shows ore no longer available through the Flynn Center Box Office”

SEVEN BAYS Employment Classifieds Where the good jobs are.

cpage 24

SEVEN DAYS

january 10, 2001

Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

ROBIN SMITH (singer-songwriter),

JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano),

RETRONOME (DJ; dance pop),

Rusty Nail, 6:30 p.m. NC. MERL SAUNDERS (Tunk/jam), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $5-10.

Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. SIDE SHOW BOB (rock), Edgewater Pub, § p.m. NC. BLAS & FABIO (rock), Village Cup, 8 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. - .. .. KGB (rock), Monopole, 10 p.m. NC. GOOD QUESTION BAND (rock), Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC. FIFTY CENT HAT (rock; formerly Hard Luck), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. SIRSY (groove rock), Thirsty, f i Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. ROSE ROOM REVUE (jazz/swing), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5. ALLEY KATZ (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5. RACHEL BISSEX (singer-song writer), Charlie B’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. THE PULSE (party band), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5.

Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2. LOS DIABLOS (rock), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hiphop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m, NC. •/ ’ k v FLASHBACK (’80s DJ), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC.

FRIDAY CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Upper

Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Rasputin’s, 5 p.m. NC, followed by TOP HAT DJ, 9 p.m. NC. PICTURE THIS (jazz), Wine Works, 6 p.m. NC. KATHERINE QUINN (singer-songwriter), Borders, 7 p.m. NC. GREG GREENWAY (singer-song writer), Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. $8. UNCLE JIM & THE TWINS

(acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. STARRY NIGHT/DRESS IN WHITE PARTY (DJ Little Martin), 135

Pearl, 9 p.m. $6. GRIPPO FUNK BAND, Club

Metronome, 10 p.m. $7. THE BILLIONAIRES (Western

swing), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10:30 p.m. NC. LION’S DEN HIFI SOUND SYSTEM

(reggae DJs Yosef & Ras Jah I. Red), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic guitar), Ruben James, 6 p.m., followed by TOP HAT DJ, 10 p.m. NC. SALAD DAYS (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FUSION (hip-hop/Top 40/house; DJs Robbie J., Toxic), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. GET DOWN SAMMY (jam rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 p.m. $.8/6.. 18+ ^ ‘ “ THE IMPOSTERS (rock), Henryis •. Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. RUN 21 W/STET HOWLAND (rock; drummer from WASP), Trackside Tavern,. 9 p.m. $5. KARAOKE W/VERN SHEPARD,

Backstage Pub, 9 .p.m. NC.;,..

weekly

JOEY LEONE W/HORNS

(rock/blues), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. LIVE MUSIC, Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $3-5. FULL SWING (jazz), Mr. Pickwick’s, 8 p.m. NC. BLOOZOTOMY (jump blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz/blues), J.P. Morgan’s, 7 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Charlie O’s, 9 p.m. NC. PC THE SPINDOCTOR (house/Top 40/techno), Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ THE X-RAYS (rock/r&b), Nightspot Outback, 9:30 p.m. $5-10.

SATURDAY 5 SECONDS EXPIRED, STMP, PRE SENT TENSE (hardcore), 242

Main, 8 p.m. $5. CAROL ABAIR & ABAIR BROS.

(songwriter;'CD feiease party), Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. $6. + MISS PEEK-A-BOO’S GOING AWAY PARTY (DJ Little Martin), 135

Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

listings

THE CLUBB MIXX W/DJS IRIE & GUESTS (hip-hop/house),

Millennium NightclubBurllngton, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ . before 11 p.m. BLUEBERRY JAM (Derrick Semler bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 p.m. $8/6. 18+ GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. THE IMPOSTERS (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. SAM ARMSTRONG TRIO (jazz favorites), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. NASTY HABITS (rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SIDE SHOW BOB (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Village Cup, 8 p.m. NC. BLUE BANDANA (country; line dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. CLUB MIX (rock jam), G Stop, 9 p.m. $3. KGB (rock), Monopole, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC. DJ DANCE PARTY, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN’ GUN (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. ANTHONY SANTOR DUO (jazz), Capitol Grounds, 7:30 p.m. NC. TOM BISSON & GUESTS (singersongwriter), Adam’s Apple Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. SPINN CITY W/DJ ROBBIE J. (hiphop/Top 40/dance), Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ ..s:--: . '■ ALLEY KATZ (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5. CURRENTLY NAMELESS (jam rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. JOEY LEONE (acoustic rock/ blues), Charlie B’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. LAMBSBREAD (reggae), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $3-5. THE PULSE (party band), Rusty

Nail, 9 p.m. $5. FULL SWING (jazz), Mr; Pickwick’s, 8 p.m. NC. -

, ■ / PAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Blue ' .foot h, 9:3D p.m. $ 2. / :. THE X-RAYS (rock/r&b), Nightspot Outback, 9:30 p.m. $5-10. THE SLACKERS (ska), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $8-12.

SUNDAY DANTE’S JAZZ TRIO, Sweetwaters,

11:30 a.m. NC. WILL PATTON & FRIENDS

(acoustic swing/jazz), Borders, 3 p.m. NC. EMULSION (local filmmakers y showcase), Club Metronome, 6:30 p.m. $2, followed by SUN DAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), 10 p.m. $ 2. YO YO NIPPLES (alt-rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. TEEN NITE HIP-HOP PARTY (DJ Derrick Brown & guests), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 8 p.m. $7. TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop), Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. $5. DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock), Champion’s Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER (acoustic blues), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. NC. THE CROPPIES (Irish), Gallagher’s, 6 p.m. NC, followed by SPANKY’S GANG (rock), 9 p.m. $3. RACHEL BISSEX (singer-song writer), Matterhorn, 4 p.m. NC. THE PULSE (party band), Rusty Nail, 9 p.rrk $5. THE SLACKERS (ska), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $8-12.

MONDAY LINE DANCING (DJ), 135 Pearl, 7:30 p.m. $3, followed by HAUS HAUS (dance party), 10 p.m.

$5.

continued on page 27

www.sevendaysvt.com

where to go Adams Apple Cafe, Portland & Main streets, Morrisville, 888-4737. After Dark Music Series, Town Hall Theater, 53 Merchants Row, Middlebury, 388-0216. Angela's Pub, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-0002. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Back Street, 17 Hudson St., St. Albans, 527-0033. Blue Tooth, Access Rd„ Warren, 583-2656. Boony’s, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. Brownstone Tavern, 2 Center St. Alley, Rutland, 775-8098. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cambridge Coffeehouse, Windridge Bakery, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Champion’s, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie O’s, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Deerleap Books, 25 Main St., Bristol, 453-5684. Diamond Jim’s Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Dockside Cafe, 209 Battery, Burlington, 864-5266. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Finnigan’s Pub, 205 College St., Burlington, 864-8209. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., Burlington, 863-5966. Franny D’s 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. '/ . Gallagher's, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-8800. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Ground Zero, 3 Durkee St„ Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-566-6969. , Heartwood Hollow Gallery Stage, 7650 Main Rd., Hanksville, 434-5830/ 888-212-j 142. Henry’s, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley Ski Area, 434-3444. J.P. Morgan’s at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.’s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St., St. Albans, 527-6242. Leunig’s, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 230 N. Main St., Barre, 476-3590. Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Mr. Pickwick's, Ye Olde England Inne, 253-7558. Nectar’s, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Pacific Rim, 111 St. Paul St., Burlington, 651-3000. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin’s, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra the Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 863-5637. Sami’s Harmony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, Milton, 893-7267. Sam’s Charlmont, Rt. 15, MorrisviHe, 888-4242. / i § Signal to Noise HQ, 416 Pine St. (behind Speeder & Earl’s), Burlington, 951-1140. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Steer &, Sfein Pub, 147 N. Winoosjti. Ave., 862-7449. _ u. . SWe'etWaiers. u B Church S t, Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Toadstool Harry’s, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. T. Rugg’s Tavern, 149 Elmwood Ave., Burlington, 658-0456. Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. UpperDeck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, 951-9463.

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january 10, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 25

inated for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance. Costey’s latest project was Rage Against the M achin e’s new album, produced by Rick Rubin. N ot bad for a guy who’s only been in L.A. for four years — and who, according to his proud sister, Carlene COStey o f Jericho, doesn’t care for lime light. N o matter: She and two other sisters, in Essex and Colchester, will be watching the Grammy awards closely in March.

O N E M AIN ST. • W I N O O S K I * INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 P M * SHOW 9 PM unless noted A LL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17 • S6 AT DOOR • ALL AGESI MIA’S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION & CD RELEASE PARTY

THE CAN CER CONSPIRAC NO G ODAI CH RO M E CO W BO YS

WITH MANY OTHER SPECIAL CUESTS THURSDAY, JANUARY 18 • SB AT DOOR 104.7 THE POINT & SAM ADAMS WELCOME

i ;

CHAD FRIDAY, JANUARY 19 • S12 ADVANCE $14 DAY OF SHOW CABARET SEATING 104.7 THE POINT & SAM ADAMS WELCOME

STEVE FORBERT TO D D TH IB A U D

SUNDAY, JANUARY 21 • S12 ADV. S14 DAY OF SHOW • ALL AGES EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7PM

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TURN, TURN, TURN Burlington’s only girl group is no more. That is, Zola Turn drummer Rachel Bischoff is out o f the power-pop rock trio, and the sisters Austin — guitaristA'ocalist A lice and bassist Julia — just might add one, or even two (gasp) males. Bischoff is none too happy about the transi tion, but concedes “the hardest thing about a band is keeping it together,” and that the three have sep arated due to “artistic differences.” Stay tuned for a new lineup, and possibly a harder rock sound, from Zola. For her part, Bischoff will continue working at Advance Music, will take her sound company “more seriously” and will look for another band. FOR THE RECORDS O f course you probably know by now that Phish got its first Grammy nomina tions ever last week, one for Best Rock Instrumen tal — for “First Tube,” on the Farmhouse release — and one for the packaging on Hampton Comes Alive. Actually, Burlington’s Jager DiPaoia Kemp Design deserves kudos for that one. It’s a clever two-sided box that makes a slight nod to Chinese puzzle symmetry, and features coolly abstract pho tos o f the Hampton Coliseum on front, back and each o f the six enclosed CD s — no band photos in sight. I don’t know what the competition looks like, but this one’s a true collector’s item. You may not know about another Grammy hopeful with Vermont roots: Rick COStey, a 'Waterbury native and graduate o f Harwood Union High School. He’s not exactly a household name — yet — but the 31-year-old producer/engineer recorded and mixed Fiona Apple’s When the Pawn, nominated for Best Alternative Music Album. A song on that collection, “Paper Bag,” was also nom

WALL-MARK “Floydian Slip” host Craig Bailey will be rubbing shoulders — figuratively speaking — with another Grammy nominee in an hour-long phone interview with Andy Jackson from his London studio. The longtime Pink Floyd engineer is Bailey’s guest on his radio show dedicated to that legendary British prog-rock band, and the interview will air January 14 and 21 at 7 p.m. on Champ 101.3. Jackson is only the second such guest on the 5-year-old “Floydian Slip” — Bailey interviewed PF album designer Storm ThOTgerSOn in 1997. ‘FULL’ OF IT Burlington-based Celtic band Atlantic Crossing made the Seven Days Top 10 Vermont C D list last year — that is, two weeks ago — but I goofed on the title o f the disc. It’s Full and Away (some kind o f nautical term?) not Far and Away. Maybe I was thinking about their far-flung tour in England. Well, congrats, anyway. LA DOLCE VITA As reported here recently, Vermont’s young blues guy Seth YaCOVOne has earned some Italian fans in the last few months, thanks to favorable reviews in Buscadero, Italy’s top music mag. This month, the same publication is running a full interview with Yacovone, and I hear rumblings about a Roman holiday for the band come October. Read all about it at www. buscadero.com, or the band’s own Web site, www.sethyac.com, later this month. SINGLE TRACKS Well, there goes the neighbor hood: As reported here recently, Alley Cats — a long-time bar in the lower King Street ’hood — had to put a lid on the rock ’n’ roll after a couple o f

&THETHE CATHOLICS M AG IC IS GONE

Band name of the week: Right As Rain

TUESDAY, JANUARY 23 • $13 ADVANCE S15 DAY OF SHOW VT ALLSTARS GLASS & GEAR PRESENT

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SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 17 • S12 ADVANCE $14 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN WELCOMES AN EVENING WITH

AK A D R . D IR T Y ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM, HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE, PURE POP RECORDS, PEACOCK MUSIC, OR CALL 800.965.4827

THE HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE IS OPEN M-F FROM 11 AM SELLING TICKETS TO OUR UPCOMING EVENTS

M 00SKA MOVERS, BIGGER TASTIER METEOR (selfreleased, CD ) —- Ska is a musical genre entirely about fun. It’s designed to get listeners on their feet and moving to uptempo beats, exuberant horns and catchy lyrics. Such is the nature of'the ska-beast; it has its devotees, but they tend to be a passionate few. There’s enough o f a following to ensure that the genre doesn’t die out entirely, but it has always played the manic, slightly weird but good-intentioned sibling in mainstream music’s preppy family. Most ska bands — the ones who play it straight and remain true to the original sound, essentially unchanged since the long ago days o f The Specials and Madness — can-never quite burst beyond the wall o f people who already like ska to begin with. Bands such as N o Doubt and Sublime provide perfect examples o f how the sound can appeal to the masses, but their success also proves the point that pure ska needs to be diluted to reach a wider audience — in these cases, with pop and punk, respectively. Vermont’s Mooska Movers want to share ska with people who may have never heard it. They try several o f their own ractics, none o f which, unfortunately, meet with the desired result. Their five-song debut EP, Bigger Tastier Meteor, is all over the map, from the opener, “H om e,” a Chicago-in spired ditty, to the ultra-jazzy “Rainforest” and swing-laden “Nursery Jive.” The arrangement o f Henry Mancini’s “A Shot in the Dark” is quite enjoyable, and the closing track, “Righteous Kiss,” is hands-down the catchiest, most

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

page 26

SEVEN DAYS

new nearby residents complained about the vol ume. At least for now, the club has yielded to Burlington’s increasingly bar-unfriendly climate and eliminated live music. Stay tuned . . . The newly activated 5 Seconds Expired will be shooting live segments for a promotional video for their new sin gle, “Memory,” at 242 Main this Saturday. Be part o f the crowd noise! As always, it’s an all-ages show, also featuring STM P and Present Tense . . . Wizard World, a comic book-related Web site, cur rently offers up a hyperbolic “review” o f James K o chalka’s The Perfect Planet and Other Stories, in which the writer experiences what he thinks is com parable to an acid trip, induced by the wackiness of JK’s strange world. He ain’t seen nothin’ yet . . . Magic H at’s annual Burlington Mardi Gras street dance has featured Gov’t M ule for the past couple o f years, but due to the tragic death last summer o f bassist Allen Woody, this year’s party will be an altered version: Warren Haynes & Friends. The bon temps starts February 24 . . . Speaking of bassists, longtime member Frank Barnes will be leaving 8 0 8 4 for a career in education, disproving the expression “those who can’t do, teach.” Though the able and affable bass man leaves hard-to-fill shoes, the band has, in fact, found a replacement in Bellows Falls musician and former stockcar racer Roy Brown. The switcheroo comes in March. Vroom! . . . Singer-songwriter Tom BiSSOn sends out an invitation for other folkies to join him for a hootenanny-style songfest this Saturday at the Adams Apple Cafe in Morrisville. Ditto his January 20 show at the Village Cup in Jericho . . . Club Metronome has been venue to a burgeoning num ber o f closet filmmakers, and fans, with “Emul sion,” a showcase for local talent. The Burlington College-related series renews its biweekly schedule this Sunday . . . Kevin Murrihy, host o f 99.9 The Buzz’s Sunday-night “Homebrew,” is still seeking submissions for a new theme song. Come on, now, people, whassup? Sure, the glory is gone in 60 sec onds, but I think they repeat it at the end o f the show, week after week, and that’s better than hiding your ditties under a barrel. Isn’t it? ®

january 10, 2001

danceable and, ironically, the straightest ska piece on the album. The Movers are made up o f a diverse array o f local artists with a high caliber o f technical skill: Frontman Craig Hanson’s classical and rock stylings combine with former Skamaphrodites Mike Duplessis and Tyler W. Bolles on guitar and bass, horn blowers Jack Phipps, Tom Steele, George Voland and drummer Jay Cat. They are not, however, as tight as they should be — a sin forgiven in light o f the youth o f the project and a lack o f live performances. Ultimately, this album falls short with its attempt at ska-jazz-swing fusion. Designed to blur the bound aries o f all three genres, the mix mostly strays beyond pure ska, but not far enough to capture the ears o f those who may be unfamiliar with the genre. The Mooska Movers would be great fun to see, but they need to create a more cohesive sound and identity while maintaining the current level o f energy and obvious delight in the music. That, after all, is Bigger Tastier Meteors saving grace. — Ara Finlayson DOUGLAS BISHOP, ORIGINS OF A MINSTREL (selfreleased, CD) — Panflutist Douglas Bishop is one o f the most-beloved or most-despised buskers on the Church Street Marketplace, depending on whom you talk to. Thus it’s appropriate that on his debut CD, Origins o f a Minstrel, he lays down 10 tracks o f reverb-rich pan flute, with schmaltzy keyboard accompaniment, that is custom-made for selling to passersby. N o one can deny that Bishop can really play that thing. On a pair o f French Renaissance pieces, he exe cutes 16th notes and difficult jumps that your average ragtime jug player couldn’t even imagine. Bishop has studied with master pan flutist Gheorghe Zamfir, and it shows. The pan flute, a wind instrument with an impres sively ancient musicological pedigree, is played by blowing across the top o f a set ol connected tubes o f different lengths. The longer the tube, the lower the note. There was a pan flute revival in Eastern Europe after World War II, mainly through the art o f a man named Fanica Luca, who performed at the world exhibitions o f 1937 (Paris) and 1939 (New York). In 1949, aided by the Institute o f Folklore Research in Bucharest, Luca started a pan flute academy, which continued until his death in 1968. Luca taught a whole generation o f accomplished

Eastern European pan flute performers, including Zamfir. Zamfir has become a pan flute pioneer, intro ducing “pop” music into what had been a mainly classical repertoire. He has sold millions o f recordings over the past 30 years. Zamfir spotted Bishop at a wind instrument recital in his native Germany, and was impressed with the young man’s potential. But now we’re back on Church Street. The pan flute is a great street instrument. High and clear. Sort o f like listening to Roy Orbison singing those high notes over the engine noise o f a 1966 Oldsmobile convertible. You can’t get away from it when Bishop is playing on the street, and that’s why some people can’t stand it: They’ve been listening to it every day lor years. Those who do like to hear music performed on a pan flute are attracted by the pure tone and the floaty character ol the sound. This works on, for example, lilting tunes like Origins o f a M instrel’s Hungarian opener, “Ritka Kertben.” But the C D is festooned with cloying synthesizer, and with the inclusion of overdone numbers like “Danny Boy” and “Amazing Grace,” the elfect is more parody than art. Bishop is a fine pan flute player, but he needs to choose his material, production and venues more carefully if he wants to be considered the serious musician his training suggests. — Robert Resnik

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continued from page 25 OPEN MIKE W/OXO, Nectar’s,

9 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPPO (jazz/funk), Red

Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow!

Bella, 6 p.m. NC. MIGHTY BLUES WORKSHOP (blues

jam), Sam's Charlmont, 8 p.m. NC.

TUESDAY SONNY & PERLEY (jazz/Brazilian

cabaret), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. PUB QUIZ (trivia game w/prizes), Ri Ra, 8:45 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. Donations. ZINGO W/ZENO (drag bingo), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. Donations. CHANNEL TWO DUB BAND (reggae), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. EXCLAMATE! (jam rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. COBALT BLUE (rock), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. NC. 18+ BASHMENT (DJ John Demus; reggae/dancehall), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. OXONOISE (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

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WEDNESDAY GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC.

MOVIE NIGHT, 242 Main, 6 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (jazz/Brazilian

cabaret), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES WITHOUT BLAME (blues jam), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT’S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. US HUMANS (acoustic rock duo), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. SALAD DAYS, LUCRETIA CRUMB (poprock, alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. DJ SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop, reggae), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. $6. 18+ VINYL ONE INTERNATIONAL (DJs DMaximum, Chancellor, Ninjahforce; reggae/dancehall), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ before 11 p.m. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. CANCER CONSPIRACY, NOGODAI 3, CHROME COWBOYS (alt-rock, guitar

showcase, vintage country; Mia’s birthday and CC CD release party), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6. AA

Born and raised on the prairies of Saskatchewan, Canada, these siblings were nourished by their Frenchspeaking musical family where they effortlessly moved between languages and cultures. “With spinetingling, soaring vocal harmonies that only a family group can deliver and dizzying array of acoustic instruments.” —Acoustic Guitar

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SEVEN DAYS

page 27

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F.-commerce has proven a virtual bonanza for some Vermont craftspeople. Thanks to the Internet, the old adage “location, location, location” no longer applies. Some o f the webwisest share the secrets o f their success at the all-day Vermont Artisans Web Conference. Cabinetmaker James Becker, bird and decoy carver Gary Starr and lamp designer George Scatchard are among the speakers and service providers on hand to help you maximize your marketing online. Wednesday, January 10. Vermont Technical College, Randolph Center, 9 a.m. - 3 :3 0 p.m. $45. Info, 223-3380.

Borders!moment no. 23 Two best friends and authors have put together a uniquely Vermont project that provides food for the heart and the soul, as well as the gastronomical delights.

Margaret Edson took the 1999 Pulitzer for her emotionally charged, intellectually challenging drama W it— the story o f a young English professor and authority on the work o f poet John Donne who fights to hold onto her life, humanity and sense o f humor after being diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. You can count on the leading lady in the ("enter Stage Theater Production to follow her muse, observing “the physician with the same diligence as he the disease.” Thursday through Sunday, January 11 to 14, 18 to 21. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 8 p.m. Sundays at 3 p.m. $22. Info, 476-0292.

Recipes & Reflections: A Journey of Food & Friendship From The Inn at the Round Barn

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29 Church Street Burlington 865-2711

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Presented in conjunction with the Dartmouth College Martin Luther King, Jr. Celebration.

Max Levinson is a whole lot more than a top-notch concert pianist. He graduated cum laude from Harvard with a degree in English literature. Then he decided to buckle down, earning a Gunther Schuller Medal ar the New England Conservatory — the award the institu tion reserves for its top graduate student. Levinson has since made the grade as one of the world’s most formidable young piano soloists. He’ll have his hands full with Schumann’s Symphonic Etudes and Beethoven’s Diabelli Variations in a college concert. Friday, January 12. Center for the Arts Concert Hall, Middlebury College, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5198.

Spoken poetry, song, blues, jazz, gospel, West African &. Middle Eastern music with 14 vocalists and musicians

Music Theater Oratorio by Craig Harris and Sekou Sundiata \

o x

a sn o w b a ll

I he age-old art of walking on the white stuff has snowballed in popularity over the past few years, and the trailblazing Green M ountain Club has been ar the forefront o f the movement. This year’s Snowshoe Festival coincides with W inter Trails 2001, a nationwide celebra tion highlighting outdoor winter recreation with a focus tin safety, access and fun. Am ong the festival’s flurry of activities: guided hikes, games, a snow sculpture contest, scavenger hunts, races and igloo building. Saturday, January 13. Green M ountain Club, Waterbury Center, a.m. ■ 4 p.m. $8. Info, 244-7037.

Saturday

Spotlight discussion with the artists immediately following the performance

January 20 8 pm - Spaulding Auditorium

May not be suitable for children.

TICKETS & INFORMATION

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Everyone knows the Billings & M useum is set up as a turn-of-the-century working dairv farm, in honor o f M artin Luther King, Jr. Day, the old-tim e ag also includes screenings of the video On My Own: The Traditions . T he fiim docum ents the life of former slave Alexander settled in Grafton in 1872. It’s based on recollections in song, poetry compiled bv his daughter, Daisy, when she was 102. Sunday, January 13 & 14. Billings harm & Museum, Woodstock, . $8. Info, 457-2355.

[& ||0 |

Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH 03755 • www.hop.dartmouth.edu

b y r i c k k is o n a k

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

"Rome & Jewels: A Hip-Hop Ballet" music

Rennie Harris Puremovement

• See listings in “Sound Advice.”

Saturday, January 20 at 8 pm "Twirling, acrobatic, silky-lim bed per formers inflame the stage" (Chicago Tribune) West Side Story meets hip-hop! This urban take on Shakespeare’s classic Romeo & Juliet incorporates explosive breakdance, a hip-hop orchestra, and compelling rap and spoken word. Excerpts of Shakespeare’s text are also part of the mix. Pioneering dance artist Rennie Harris - last here with Jazz Tap/Hip-

dance HIP-HOP WORKSHOP: Dancers from the urban update o f Romeo and Juliet — Rome and Jewels — demon strate their movement methods. Collis Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 3:30-5 p.m. $1. Info, 603-646-2010.

Hop - creates exciting work rooted in the movement and voices of the streets. In association with the University of Vermont “Building Our Community” Initiatives

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page 28

SEVEN DAYS

W e have a g r e a t s e le c t io n of

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january 10, 2001

film ‘BEST IN SHOW’: Christopher Guest of This is Spinal Tap sends up the world of dog shows. Catamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 748-2600. ‘NATURE OF FAME’ DOUBLE

Our

lZj

FEATURE: In Being John Malkovitch, John Cusack and Cameron Diaz star as trespassers in the mind of the edgy actor. The biopic Man on the Moon centers on the obsessive character of comedian Andy Kaufman. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 8:55 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accom plished artists in a weekly drawing session on the second floor of the Firehouse Gallery, 135 Church St., Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165.

words ORGANIZATIONAL MEETING: Book lovers join Bjorn Nordstrom

to choose topics and titles for winter reading. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211. STOCK TALK: The author of the updated 100 Best Stocks You Can Buy offers advice on picking sound investments. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. MIDDLE EASTERN VOICES BOOK GROUP: A roundtable of readers explores the distinct cultures of the Middle East via Naguib Mahfouz’s Fountain and Tomb. Morristown Elementary School, 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 888-3853-

HEALTH LECTURE: Learn how to get fit — fast — at a talk entitled “Half Hour to Better Health.” Chiropractic Works, Burlington, 5:20 p.m. Free. Info, 864-5000.

etc

VERMONT ARTISANS WEB CONFERENCE: Green Mountain artisans learn to craft marketing strategies using the Internet. See “to d o ” list, this issue. Vermont Technical College, Randolph Center, 9 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. $45. Info, 223-3380. WOMEN HELPING BATTERED 1WOMEN: Learn about domestic abuse prevention services available at an open information session. UVM W om en’s Center, Burlington, 7-9 P-m. Free. Info, 658-3131. BREAST CARE DISCUSSION: Ladies First” sponsors an informatlve question-and-answer session with health experts. Borders, Church kids ‘TINY TOTS’ STORY TIME: The Street Marketplace, Burlington, j n°on. Free. Info, 865-2711. 3-and-under crowd shares social time and stories. Barnes & Noble, $ battered w o m e n ’s s u p port GROUP: Women Helping Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, Battered Women facilitates a group 864-8001. STORY TIME: Little listeners enjoy ln Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. tall tales. Pierson Library, Shelburne, lr>fo, 658-1996.

music • See listings in “Sound Advice.”

dance LATINO DANCE PARTY: Deejay Hector “El Salsero” Cobeo spins discs at a spicy shakedown for Latin lovers. Sh-Na-Na’s, Burlington, 9 p.m. $3. Info, 862-5082. SQUARE DANCE: The Green Mountain Steppers welcome begin ners tonight. Al Monty calls at Mater Christi School, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-1974. ‘ROME AND JEWELS’: Hip-hop poet and choreographer Rennie Harris and his dancers transform Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet into a 21st-century ballet. Moore Theater, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $25. Info, 603-646-2422.

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| 10:30-1 1:30 a.m. Free. Info, I 985-5124. 'STORY AND CRAFT TIME: Preschoolers aged 3 to 6 dabble in designs and drama. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

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The British Isles are lit tered with strange Stonehenge-like monuments. A few years back Glenn Broughton found himself drawn to the ancient sacred sites and what he identifies as the “Earth energy currents” within them. Since then, Broughton formed Sacred Britain Tours and now offers guided journeys to the castles, stone circles, cathedrals and holy wells o f the region. His free slide presentation, “Sacred Sites o f England,” is a sneak peak at spirituality on the other side. Thursday, January 11. Awakening Center, Shelburne, 7 p.m. and Friday, January 12. Spirit Dancer Bookshop, Burlington, 6:30 p. m. Free. Info, 985-5666.

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‘W IT ’: An English professor strug gles to find humanity while under going cancer treatment in the Pulitzer-winning drama performed by Center Stage. See “to do” list, this issue. Flynn Space, Burlington, 8 p.m. $22. Info, 863-5966. SOAPFLAKES: The improv group follows audience-directed plot twists in a bimonthly, soap opera-inspired performance. Club Metronome, Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 372-4606.

film ‘BEST IN SHOW’: See January 10. ‘TAKING OFF’: Milos Forman’s 1971 film follows a middle-aged, middle-class American couple’s attempt to find and reclaim their runaway teenage daughter. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words . BOOK DISCUSSION: Readers catch a glimpse of Chinese literature via Jung Chang’s Wild Swans. Essex

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january 10, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 29

Junction High School, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 879-5326. POETRY WORKSHOP: Local poet David Weinstock shares writing tips with aspiring authors. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

kids

SONG AND STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing read-along for babies and toddlers. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

‘WHERE’S WALLACE’ STO RYTIME: Kids hear about the exploits of an orangutan who wants to see the world. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

etc HEPATITIS C SUPPORT GROUP: A nurse shares relevant health information from a recent international conference. McClure MultiGenerational Center, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-1316.

HOUSING INFORMATION SESSION: Get answers to your housing-related questions from Community Action workers. Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 11 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 860-4420.

PREVENTION WORKSHOP: The advocacy group Stop it Now facilitates a forum with people personally affected by child sexual abuse. Conference Room 2B, Vermont Department of Health, Burlington, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Register, 247-0105.

ADVENTURE SLIDE SHOW: Photographer Shawn Heffernan transports viewers with two multi-media presentations: “The Spirit of the Southwest” and “The Four Seasons.” Vermont Commons School, S. Burlington,

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ft x

7:30 p.m. $3. Info, 434-7257.

SACRED SITES OF ENG LAND SLIDE SHOW: Explore

Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

‘ROME AND JEWELS’: See

TOASTMASTERS MEETING:

January 11.

Wannabe public speakers develop communication and leadership skills at the Best Western Con ference Center, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 872-0135.

DANCE CONCERT: Senior

COMING-OUT SUPPORT GROUP: The community group R.U.1.2? sponsors a bi-weekly session for questioning adults. Peace & Justice Center, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812.

,12 frioa

lay

music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” MAX LEVINSON: The young American pianist runs through a recital including Schumann’s Fantasiestiicke and Beethoven’s Diabelli Variations. See “to do” list, this issue. Concert Hall, Middlebury Center for the Arts, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-3321. GAELIC STORM: As the steer age band in Titanic, they rocked the boat. Their stage show fea- . tures energetic Celtic dance tunes, haunting ballads and infec* tious humor at the Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 8 p.m. $15. Info, 518-523-2512. KATHERINE QUINN: The longtime local folkie serenades fans with songs from her new disc, Breathe. Borders, Church

‘MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGE: Kids sing songs with

CASE STREET BREAK DOWN: The local entertainers

the castles, stone circles and cathedrals of Britain through images and imagination. See “to do” list, this issue. Awakening Center, 29 Harbor Rd., Shel burne, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 985-5666.

Robert Resnik and his fiddleplaying friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

play bluegrass and folk at Deerleap Books, Bristol, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

dance

sport HALF MOON SNOWSHOE: A family hike in the winter woods finishes up with hot cocoa. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-8 p.m. $4. Info, 229-6206.

Katrina O ’Brien and her troupe offer an in-the-round exploration of theatrical conventions. Dance Theatre, Middlebury Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 443-6433.

drama ‘WIT’: See January 11. ‘THE MIRACLE WORKER’:

comedy follows the flight of a newly widowed waitress to Los Angeles, where she immerses her self in a General Hospital-style. soap opera. Catamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 748-2600.

January 12.

BATTERED WOMEN’S SUP PORT GROUP: Battered Women’s Services and Shelter facilitates a group in Barre, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

MEET THE PARENTS’: Ben Stiller falls short as a potential son-in-law in this slapstick story starring Robert De Niro. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9:30 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

Saturday

art

music

• See exhibit openings in the art listings.

C lu b MeTRONOMe

SACRED SITES OF ENG LAND SLIDE SHOW: See

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get sup port. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

‘NURSE BETTY’: This unlikely

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.”

S A Y T H IS O U T L O U D :IA M S O F A K IN G W E T O D D ID S A Y T U .

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dance ‘ROME AND JEWELS’: See January 11.

GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP:

film

Folksinger-songwriter Louise Taylor returns with her band to play selections from her new release, Written in Red. Unitarian Universalist Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $8-10. Info, 483-9395. PIANO CONCERT: Paul Orgel gets keyed up for a piano pro gram of works by Bach, Beetho ven and Ferruccio Busoni. Middlebury Center for the Arts Concert Hall, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

etc January 11, Spirit Dancer Books, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. OPEN HOUSE: Champlain College explains a few things about its academic offerings to high schoolers. Admissions Office, Skiff Hall, Champlain College, Burlington, 2-4:30 p.m. Free. Register, 800-570-5858.

This inspiring play centers on the extraordinary relationship between Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan. Pendragon Theatre, Saranac Lake, N.Y., 8 p.m. $15-17. Info, 518891-1854.

COFFEEHOUSE CONCERT:

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DANCE CONCERT: See SQUARE DANCE: Experienced dancers square off for a Westernstyle dance with Corry Lowden and Dolley Seymour. St. Anthony’s Gym, Burlington, 6:30-10:30 p.m. $5 each or $8 per couple. Info, 985-2012.

SACRED CIRCLE DANCE: Celebrate earth-based spirituality through traditional folk dances. Yoga Vermont Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 425-6061.

drama ‘W IT’: See January 11. ‘THE MIRACLE WORKER’: See January 12.

VERMONT STAGE COMPA NY AUDITIONS: Prospective actors try out for supporting roles in an upcoming production of A Streetcar Named Desire. 110 Main St., Suite 104, Burlington, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Register, 862-1497. ‘SHED’: The Expanding Secret Company’s dance drama juxta poses bored angry cowgirls with anti-capitalistic feminist super heroes. Plainfield Community Center, above the Winooski

Valley Co-op, 8 p.m. $5-8. Info, 454-4662.

film ‘NURSE BETTY’: See January 5, 7 & 9 p.m. ‘TOWN MEETING’ AUDI TIONS: The director of a comedic short about graveyards, junkyards and civil unions seeks actors who are available in January and February. Middlebury, call for appointment, 623-6308. ‘EYES WIDE SHUT’: Stanley Kubrick’s last film focuses on the moral struggles of a married cou ple, played by Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Dana Auditor ium, Middlebury College, 3 & 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. ‘BOESMAN AND LENA’: Danny Glover and Angela Bassett star in the film adaptation of Athol Fugard’s play about the daily psychological damage of apartheid. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422. ‘MASTERS OF SLAPSTICK’ FILM SPECIAL: The Alloy Orchestra provides live musical accompaniment to three classics silent films: Laurel and Hardy’s Big Business, Chaplin’s Easy Street and Keaton’s One Week. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also; see exhibit openings in the art listings. BATIK WORKSHOP: Tania Kupzak and Kate Hartley instruct artists in making colorful wax and dye-painted banners. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2898.

words BOOK SIGNING: Feast on the new cookbook Recipes and Reflections: A Journey o f Food and Friendship, co-authored by local foodies Annee Hayden Rhodes and AnneMarie DeFreest. Borders, Church Street Market place, Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

kids MARTIN LUTHER KING STORYTIME: Kids hear selec tions from Dear Dr. King: Letters from Today’s Children to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and / Have a Dream. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ‘TENNESSEE TALES’: Local author Laban Hill spins yarns from his Tennessee heritage for kids aged 4 and over. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1010:45 a.m. Free, Info, 865-7216. CREATIVE WRITING WORK SHOP: Carol Ann Wooster works with 8- to 15-year-olds on creative writing projects. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 862-4325.

sport SNOWS HOE FESTIVAL: Winter walkers conquer the slip pery slopes on nature hikes, scav enger hunts and obstacle courses. See “to do” list, this issue. Green Mountain Club, Waterbury Center, 8:30 a.m. - 4 p.m. $8. Info, 244-7037. CAMEL’S HUMP HIKE: Hardy hikers snowshoe up Vermont’s distinctive peak with the Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club. UVM Visitor Parking Lot, Burlington, 9:30 a.m. Free. Register, 655-2921. FULL M OON SHOWSHOE: Night-time trekkers make their way in the moonlit snow at the

Catamount Family Center, Williston, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 879-6001. STOWE FIREWORKS: A slopeside bash on Mount Mansfield features pyrotechnics and a torch light parade. Stowe Mountain Resort, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800"■253-4754. SKI AND SNOWSHOE OPEN HOUSE: Kick off the year by exploring the network of trails at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Donations. Info, 723-4705. HALF-PIPE JAM COMPETI TION: Boarders go toe-to-toe in competitions with music, prizes and demos. Smugglers’ Notch Resort, Jeffersonville, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free with lift ticket. Info, 644-1118. ‘PIG AIR’: Imagine the basket ball game “Horse,” only with big air jumps instead of rim shots. Men and women skiers and snowboards compete for cash at Mount Snow, 9:30 a.m. $40. Register, 464-4191.

etc VERMONT 50 PLUS EXPO: Elders join soon-to-be-seniors in seminars on topics including retirement planning, health and investing. Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $5. Info, 878-0051. EPHEMERA AND POST CARD DAY: The Vermont Ephemeral and Postcard Society meets to ponder postcards and other pieces of paper posterity. St. Paul’s Methodist Church, St. Albans, 10 a.m. Donations. Info, 933-6248. ‘CATS IN THE ECOSYSTEM’: Friendly furball or ferocious feline? Learn about the impact of cats on the natural world. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 723-4705.

LIV E M USIC 1/11 PHIL HENRY

SLEIGH RIDE AND MLK WEEKEND: Visitors enjoy horse-drawn sleigh and wagon rides around the farm, plus a video documentary about Daisy Turner, daughter of a former slave. See “to do” list, this issue. Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. $8. Info, 457-2355. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Addicted to eating? The issue of food abuse is on the table at Lawrence Library, Bristol, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 453-2368.

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Sunday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” WILL PATTON AND FRIENDS: The local artist plays swing-jazz originals from his recent release, Departures and Latitudes. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. FIDDLE CONCERT: Sawyers convene for a monthly concert hosted by the Northeast Fiddlers Association. American Legion, Barre, 1-5:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 244-8537. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Flutist Jennifer Yeaton-Parris and pianist Andrew O ’Brien duet up in Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘W IT’: See January 11,3 p.m.

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sport SPRUCE LEDGE CAMP SNOWSHOE: Get views of Ritterbush Pond and Belvidere Mountain on a hike through Devil’s Gulch with the Green Mountain Club. Register, 878-6773. RIDERCROSS SERIES: Up to five riders at a time compete on a moto-cross-style course in a race open to skiers, snowboarders and skiboarders. Mount Snow Resort, Dover, 10 a.m. $15. Info, 464-4191.

etc SLEIGH RIDE WEEKEND: See January 13. VEGETARIAN POTLUCK: Meat-eaters, too, can indulge in this flesh-free feast. Bring a place setting and a dish that contains no meat, poultry, fish, gelatin, eggs, dairy or honey. Seventh Day Adventist Church, Williston, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0984. FLEA MARKET: Shoppers indulge in treasure hunting at a low-budget indoor bazaar. American Legion Post 57, Route 7 South, Milton, 9 a.m. —3 p.m. Free. Info, 893-1738. WINTER TREE IDENTIFICA TION: Learn to use clues such as buds, bark, branch geometry and odor to identify leafless trees. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 10 a.m. —1 p.m. $5. Info, 723-4705.

RUSTIC OVERTONES Wed. Jan.10, 18+ MERL SAUNDERS & THE RAINFOREST BAND

Thurs. Jan.ll,

18+

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1 Lawson Lane, Behind Carburs

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• See exhibit openings in the art listings.

Y O U R PLACE O R OURS?

open mic nite 9 pm Wings 20C (4-6pm) Bar Only!

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delivers a scathing cinematic satire of the white-controlled media world. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

111 St. Paul *651-3000

Tickets available at Sun-Up * Bakery in Killington, Sound Barrier in Rutland or online at mqjsictoday.com. Charge by phone at

4628 Route 9 South, Plattsburgh

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Grand Isle/Plattsburgh ferry now runs 24 hours a day!

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31

your writing your business

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art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

Chapel, Colchester, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. NETWORKING GROUP: Employee hopefuls get job leads, connections, skills and support. Career Resource Center, Ver mont Department of Employ ment & Training, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0322. PUBLIC MEDITATION: Take a step on the path to enlighten ment in an environment that instructs beginners and supports practiced sitters. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 6-7 p.m. Discussion, 7-8:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 223-5435-

kids

etc

Wednesday Evenings and Sundays January 21st through February 18th Join us for a series of video talks by world-famous Buddhist nun and author Pema Chodron. Pema will discuss the four noble truths, loving-kindness and compassion. Includes meditation practice. New and experienced meditators welcome.

C all 860-1477 to reserve your place!

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art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. GALLERY TALK: Peter Kalb, a visiting professor of art and architecture, discusses the open ing exhibit, “Rudy Burckhardt and Friends: New York Artists of the 1950s and ’60s.” Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

words

STORY TIME: See January 10.

OPEN HOUSE: See January 12, 9:30-11:30 a.m. KING DAY OF SERVICE: AmeriCorps members organize volunteers in projects around Burlington, culminating in a speakout and community dinner. Boys and Girls Club, Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7169. WOMEN’S BUSINESS PANEL: Three women entrepre neurs speak about their business startups at Trinity College, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 877-770-8977. ‘HIDDEN HISTORY’ TALK: Vermont College prof Richard Hathaway makes the connection between civil rights and the American labor movement. Old Labor Hall, Barre, noon and Heritage Winooski Mill Museum, Champlain Mill, .•Winooski; 7 p.m. Free. Info, 828-5664. CLIFTON TAULBERT: The Pulitzer-winning author offers his thoughts on “The Walls of Segregation” at a convocation in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. St. Michael’s College

the West,” where immigrants were detained and interrogated. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8:30 p.m. $1. Info, 603-646-2422.

16 fyesday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” GREEN MOUNTAIN CHO RUS: Members of the all-male barbershop chorus compare har monious notes at South Burlington High School, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6465.

drama ‘CARNIVAL’ AUDITIONS: The Middlebury Community Players seek singers, actors, dancers and acrobats for their spring musical production. Middlebury Union High School, 7-10 p.m. Free. Info, 443-9046.

POETRY AND SCIENCE: Middlebury profs Robert Pack, Sallie Sheldon and Rich Wolfson compare notes on “cosmic evolu tion” in a program subtitled “a tale told in poetry and science.” Mitchell Green Lounge, McCullough Student Center, Middlebury College, 4:15 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5427. BOOK DISCUSSION: Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice pro vokes a lively literary exchange at the Milton Public Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644. SOUTHERN WRITERS SERIES: A roundtable of readers samples the regional flavor of William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. Joslin Memorial v Library, Waitsfield, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 496-4205.

Continued on page 34

‘NURSE BETTY’: See January 12.

‘CARVED IN SILENCE’: Director Felicia Lowe is behind this documentary about Angel Island, a.k.a. the “Ellis Island of

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acting PLAYING W ITH MONOLOGUES: Saturday, January 27, 12:30-5:30 p.m. & Sunday, January 28, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $100. Hoehl Studio Lab, Flynn Center, Burlington. Students test the theories and techniques o f writing and performing short monologues, and devel oping characters. IMPROV A N D BEGINNING ACT ING: Classes start Monday, January 22. Flynn Center, Burlington. Info, 652-4500. Stage-hound children, teens and adults benefit from a range o f fun, professional courses — or simply explore their creativity.

aikido AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY: Adults, Monday through Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m. Thursdays, noon - 1 p.m. Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 4-5 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months. Introductory class es start January 18 at 5:45 p.m. Info, 654-6999 or www.aikidovt.org. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and selfdefense skills. AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Ongoing classes Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion River Co-op, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

architecture HISTORIC ARCHITECTURE IN VERMONT: Wednesdays, January 10 & 17, 7-9 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $40. Register, 865-4422. Through slides and videos, learn to recognize the most common his toric architectural styles in Vermont.

art

884.5634

explores the ideas behind their works. CLASSES FOR YOUNG ARTISTS: “Monoprints for Children Ages 6-8,” Saturday, January 27, 10 a.m.-noon. $10. “Sculpture for Children Ages 68,” Saturday, February 10, 10 a.m.noon. $10. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. Info, 8657166. Jude Bond helps young artists explore simple print and sculpture tech niques. IN TRO DUC TIO N TO M O N O TYPE: Mondays, January 29 through February 26, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. $140. Info, 865-7166. Diane Gabriel assist adults in basic printmaking techniques. ELDER ART: Tuesdays, Febraury 6 through March 27. Drawing, 1-3 p.m., Firehouse Gallery Building, Church Street. Info, 865-7166. Watercolors, 9:30-11:30 a.m., O ’Brien Civic Center, S. Burlington. Info, 879-0685. $76 for drawing, $90 for watercolor. Transportation assistance is available and an art show is scheduled at conclusion o f courses. BEGINNING STAINED GLASS: January 23 & February 4, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild. $100, plus $7 materials. Info, 877-3668. Create a leaded stained glass pane while learn he fundamentals o f glass-cut ting, soldering and cementing. IN TRO DUC TIO N TO TRADI TIONAL OIL PAINTING: Eight Tuesdays, January 30 through March 20, 6:30-9 p.m. Bristol Recreation Department. $125. Info, 453-5885. New York-trained Lisa Merrill offers a personalized step-by-step approach in the style o f the Old Masters. WATERCOLOR: Monday and Wednesday evenings, February 5 through 28. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild. $150. Info, 877-3668. Beginning and intermediate level artists focus on the traditional glazing technique as well as exercises in color analysis and layering.

DRAWING FOR BEGINNERS: Saturdays, January 13 & 20 , 1-5 p.m. PROFESSIONAL BARTENDING Community College o f Vermont, TRAINING: Day, evening and week Burlington. $70, includes materials. end courses. Various locations. Info, Register, 865-4422. Heighten your 888-854-4448 or awareness o f the visual world by explor bartendingschool.com. Get certified to ing the elements of drawing and mixedmake a mean martini, margarita, manmedia techniques. hattan or mai tai. INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLOR: Starts January 15, 10 a.m. - noon. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne. ‘GETTING SERIOUS’: January 11, Info, 985-3648. Develop an individual 18, 24 and February 1. Women’s Small style while improving basic skills. Business Program, Burlington. $115, BEGINNING W ITH WATERCOL grants available. Info, 846-7160. OR: Starts January 16, 7-9 p.m. Explore the possibilities and realities o f Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne. business ownership, assess your skills and Info, 985-3648. Jean Cannon teaches interests and develop a business idea. the basics in a relaxed atmosphere. HOW TO TH INK LIKE A MIL BASICS OF DRAWING: Tuesdays, LIONAIRE: Saturday, January 27, 1-5 January 16 through February 13, 6-8 p.m. Community College of Vermont. p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual $40. Register, 865-4422. Discover the Arts, Burlington. Register, 865-7166. attitudes necessary to handle money well Ben Potter offers instruction in drawing and overcome barriers to earning and from the model, still life or the environ accumidating cash. ment. ‘START U P’: February through May. SKETCHBOOK W ITH JANET Women’s Small Business Program, FREDERICKS: Tuesdays, January 23 Burlington. $1250, grants available. through February 13, 6-8 p.m. Info, 846-7160. Learn valuable skills as Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, you write a business plan. Burlington. $50. Info, 865-7166. ‘ADVENTURES IN MARKETING’: Learn techniques to draw architecture, February 6, 13, 20 and 27. Women’s landscape and people using pen,.’pencil, Small Business -Program, Brattleboro. and watercolor. fff- ■.?;? .. V. 7' INTRO TO PASTELS: Wednesdays, ' ■■ $1 50, grant's a v ailab ffe ^ f e ^Afr-T.160. ip Learn how to find y o u t^ ^ ^ ^ j assess January 24 through February 28, \ f> p.m. Firehouse Center for ffte. yi'siial / . yofir competition and mriWjt'your business. ‘M A N A G E M E N T :i ; Arts, Burlington. $6-5. I|tfo» 865-7166.

bartending

business

fan Tend helps you create paintings based on still lifes, photos or sketches. ART 101: Thursdays, January 25 through February 13, 10-1 1:30 a.m. Firehouse Center for-the Visual Arts, Burlington. $30. Info, 86$-7.166. Diane Gabriel lectures on the C - '.i Impressiohists and post-impressionists and

VTue§days, F e b r u a r y ^ ^ ^ p 'k n d M arch 6; 6-8 p.m . WomenV!fe&l3! Business P rogram ,.B urlington.

$ 100, grants

available. Learn the basics of human-

resource management.

computers

•

KEYBOARD SURVIVAL SKILLS:? 7

Monday and Wednesday, January 8, 10, 15, & 17, 6-8 p.m. Community College ofVermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Here’s a quick and practical introduction to basic keyboard ing skills for those who want to type or word-process using more than two fingers. MEET THE INTERNET: Monday, January 15, 1-4 p.m. Community College ofVermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Learn to use the World Wide Web, send e-mail, surf, explore your interests, shop or make travel arrangements online. BASIC COM PUTER APPLICA TIONS: Wednesday, January 17, 1-4 p.m. Community College ofVermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. An introduction to Microsoft Office soft ware shows you the ins and outs o f the most popular computer application avail able for your computer.

craft POTTERY FOR ADULTS, TEENS & CHILDREN: Classes start January 15. Shelburne Craft School, Harbor Road, Shelburne. Info, 985-3648. Experience the excitement o f expressing yourself in clay. BEGINNING FLOOR LOOM WEAVING: Classes start January 17. Shelburne Craft School, Harbor Road, Shelburne. Info, 985-3648. Create two pieces of handwoven cloth while learning about looms, pattern drafting and weav ing elements. INTRO TO KNITTING: Saturday, January 20, 1:30-4:30 p.m. & Tuesdays, January 23 & 30, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Northeast Fiber Arts, Williston. Info, 288-8081. Learn the fundamentals of wool working, including casting on, increasing or decreasing and decorative stitches while making a traditional fish erman’s scarf TERRA SIGILLATA WEEKEND: January 20 & 21, Shelburne Craft School, Harbor Road, Shelburne. Info, 985-3648. Beginners to advanced clay creators delve into unglazed, primitivefired pottery techniques. H ANDM ADE TILE WORKSHOP: Saturdays, January 20, February 10 & March 24, 1-4 p.m. Bristol Clay Studio. $75. Register, 453-5885. Students create tiles to be mounted, installed or used as trivets. Fee includes materials and firing. ADULT POTTERY/BRISTOL: Eight Mondays, starting January 22, 6:308:30 p.m. Bristol Clay Studio. $125. Register, 453-5885. All levels explore wheel work, hand building, sculpture and tiles. INTRO TO WEAVING: Eight Thursdays beginning January 25. Northeast Fiber Arts, Williston, Info, 288-8081. Learn the basics o f weaving from “plain” to frills, dressing the loom, planning and finishing techniques. FELTING CLASSES: Introductory classes start Saturday, January 27. Northeast Fiber Arts, Williston. Info, 288-8081. Get into slippers, hats, jack ets, nuno and needle felting. PAINTING CERAMICS: Ongoing classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundamentals o f painting ceramics, HANDPAINTED QUILT: Saturday, January 20, 9. a.m. - 4 p.m., Shejburne Craft School, Harbor Road, Shelburne. Info, 985-3648. Design and assemble a small quilt you paint, print and seio. CLAY CLASSES: Ongoing classes. Frog Hollow State Craft Center, Bur lington, Middlebury and Manchester. Info, 860-7474, 388-3177 or :a www.froghollow.org. Work with clay in various classes offered throughout the year. POTTERY & SCULPTURE: AH ages W and levels, group classes, private lessonsy/studio rental. Days, evenings, "weekends.. V^rrrtont Clay Studio, 2802

Rt. 100, Waterbury Center. Register, 224-1126 ext. 41. Savor the pleasures and challenges o f working with clay, regardless o f your ceramic experience.

Learn to make your own medicines, appropriate uses o f herbs and a 36-herb materia medica. f if ty BACKTALK: Tuesdays, January 23 through March 6, 7:15-8:15 p.m. Thursdays, 10:15-11:15 a.m., 69 Mountain St. Studio, Bristol. $8/class. Info, 453-5885. Learn practical and effective ways to recover from or prevent back injury.

dance ARGENTINE TANGO WORK SHOPS: Saturday, January 13, Jazzercise, Williston. Argentine Tango Intensive: noon - 3:15 p.m. Salon Dancing: 3:30-5 p.m. $30 for Intensive, $15 for Salon Dancing, $40 for both. Info, 879-3998 or mkiey@aol.com. An out-of-town specialist will share dance-floor wisdom. HIP-HOP WORKSHOP: Saturday, January 13, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Chase Dance Studio, Flynn Center, Burlington. $20. Info, 652-4500. Karen Amirault leads beginning and intermediate movers through the motions. SWING DANCE LESSONS: Six Sundays starting January 14. $40. Info, www.HollywoodStyleSwing.com or 862-9033. Learn Hollywood-style swing to be a star on the dance floor. SWING DANCE IN BRISTOL: Fridays, January 26 through March 9. Level 1, 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Level 2, 6:307:30 p.m. Sundays, January 28 through March 1. Level 1, 4:30-5:30 p.m.; Level 2, 5:30-6:30 p.m. General practice for both levels, 7:30-8 p.m. $42 for 6 weeks, $39 if pre-registered or $10 drop-in. Bristol Recreation Department. Info, 453-5885. Learn to Lindy Hop — the original style o f swing. YMCA DANCE: Ongoing classes for adults, teens and children. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 8629622. Classes are offered in Latin, swing and youth ballet.

feldenkrais® FELDENKRAIS® W INTER CLASS ES: Mondays, January 15 through” ' February 19, 7:30-8:30 p.m.Refinement o f spine movements, gait, breath and upper-body carriage are covered. Friday mornings, January 19 through February 23, 9-10 a.m. This class is for people who experience chronic pain and difficulty in everyday movement. $60 per six-week session, $12 single class. Register, 434-4515.

juggling JUGGLING CLUB: Ongoing Mondays, 5-7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, Burlington. Ongoing Tuesdays, 5-8 p.m. Racquetball Courts, Patrick Gym, University ofVermont, Burlington. Donations. Info, 6585512. Beginner-to-expert jugglers and unicyclists convene.

karate TRADITIONAL JAPANESE KARATE: Ongoing Wednesdays and Fridays, 6-7:30 p.m. 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 951-9047 or Kumite46@excite.com. Benefit from the physical, mental and spiritual training o f traditional Japanese Shotokan karate. SHOTOKAN KARATE: Tuesdays and .Thursdays, 4-5:15 p.m. Adults only Tuesdays and Thursdays, 5-6:30 p.m. Ongoing. YMCA, College Street, Burlington. Info, 862-9622. This tradi tional discipline encourages the relaxation o f mind, spiritual growth through selfconfidence and physical proficiency through flexibility, stamina, strength, speed and balance.

language ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner to advanced, all ages. Middlebury area. Info, 545-2676. Immerse yourself in Italian to get ready for a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country’s music, art and cuisine. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 6548677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

martial arts

feng shui FENG SHUI WORKSHOP: Three Tuesdays, January 23, 30 & February. 6, 6:30-8:30 p.m. All Saints Church, S. Burlington. $80. Register, 496-2306 or ccwheel@accessvt.com. Carol Wheelock weaves her perspectives o f ener gy, interior decorating and color into a practical approach to Feng Shui.

film MAKE YOUR OW N MOVIE: January 27, March 3 & April 6, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Bristol Recreation Depart ment. $25. Info, 453-5885. Teens work on basic production techniques and con ceive, shoot and edit a short video. FROM PAGE TO SCREEN: January 24, Into Thin Air, February 28, The Horse Whisperer, March 28, A River Runs Through It, April 25, Snow Falling on Cedars. Films shown at Howden Hall, Bristol, 6:30 p.m. $20 for series, or $7 each. Info, 453-5885. Read a book and meet to watch and discuss the film adaptation.

health ACUPRESSURE/SHIATSU LEVEL l: ,fen Fridays starting in January, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. or four weekend inten sive^. Vermont School of^Vsian Body Therapy, I|ssex Junction. Register, 651 7765. Learn Chinese medical theory and Asian bodywork to enhance health and promote recovery ! . MEDICINAL HERBS: Six Thursdays, January 18 through March 1, 6-9 p.m. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe. $175,-» includes all materials. Info, 888-7671.

KUNG FU: Moy Yat VingTsun Kung Fu classes available in Waitsfield and Waterbury. Info, 496-4661 or vingtsunvt@yahoo.com. Develop health, f it ness and inner strength while learning a practical and applicable martial art. TAE KWON DO: Mondays and Wednesdays, January 15 through February 28 and March 5 through April 18. Ages 5-12, 5-6 p.m. Ages 13 & up, 6-7 p.m. Bristol Recreation Department. $70 per 10-week course. Register, 453-5885.

meditation SATSANG: Wednesday & Thursday, January 24 & 25, 7-9 p.m. 33 North Avenue, Burlington. Free. Register, 893-7742. American-born guru Nirmala makes a rare East Coast visit and shares essential truths through medi tation, dialogue and discussion. ZEN MEDITATION: Mondays, 4:45-5:45 p.m. Thursdays, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6466. Meditate with a sitting group associated with the Zen Affiliate ofVermont. MEDITATION: Ongoing Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Green Mt, Learning Center, Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Donations. Info, 660-8060. Take part in a weekly ‘TH E WAY O R T H E SUFL: Tuesdays, 7 :30-9 p.m, S. Burlington. Free. Info, 65B-2447. This Sufi-style meditation tncor,

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C l a s s e s .continued Continued from page 33 noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectar ian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations.

GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided medi tation fo r relaxation and focus.

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION’: Ongoing Sundays, 5-6 p.m. 35 King St., Burlington. Free. Info, 864-7715. Gain greater awareness, breath by breath.

m usic TAIKO: Thursdays in Montpelier, 4 p.m. for kids and 5 p.m. for adults. Capital City Grange. Mondays in Burlington, 3:30 p.m. for kids and 5:30 p.m. for adults. 208 Flynn Ave. Info, 658-0658. Experience the power oJ vaW so -style drumming. DJEMBE: Ongoing Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Burlington. $12. Info, 6580658. Stuart Eaton makes instruments available in a djembe drumming class.

Burlington, 05402. Get help through A COURSE IN MIRACLES’ STUDY GROUP: Thursdays, January "11,25 and February 8, 22, 6-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books & Gifts, Burlington. Donations. Info, 660’r8060. Tim Conner applies the Courses main thought system to our everyday experiences.

PROPERTY AND PAST LIVES: Five Thursdays, January 18 through February 15, 7-9 p.m. Rising Sun, 35 King St., Burlington. $120. Register, 860-7286. Participants learn prosperity principles and explore past lives to clear blockages and awaken cellular memories of success.

HEALING CIRCLE: Tuesday, February 13, 7:15-9 p.m. Body Mind Connection, 119 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $8. Info, 658-5888. Guided visualization, Reiki, crystals and music promote healing in a small group.

sport SPINNING: Ongoing daily classes. Chain Reaction, One Lawson Lane, Burlington. First ride free. Info, 6573228. Pedal your way to fitness in a ■ diverse, non-competitive environment.

photography INSTRUCTION: Classes, workshops and private instruction. Info, 3723104. Take classes in creative and tech

FENCING: Fifteen weeks starting January 17, 7-9 p.m. UVM Marsh Dining Hall. $100. Info, 654-8674 or tcate@zoo.uvm.edu. Learn the essentials

nical camera and darkroom skills while learning to “see" with a photographic eye.

of modern, Olympic-style fencing while studying its history, nomenclature and concepts of attack andparry-ripost.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Ongoing class. Jon’s Darkroom, Essex Junction. Info, 879-4485. Beginning photographers, or

FLY TYING: Six Saturdays or Sundays, starting January 13 or 14. Schirmer’s Fly Shop, 34 Mills Ave., S. Burlington. Info, 863-6105- Beginners

those who need a refresher course, take classes in shooting or black-and-white processing. Rental darkroom also avail able.

public speaking SPEAK TO BE HEARD — TELL A STORY: Saturday, January 13, 9 a.m. - noon. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. .$3.0. Register,-^ 865-4422. Stories engage, inspire, entertain and educate. Become a more exciting speaker by learning how to pick, prepare and incorporate stories into your speeches.

psychology DEALING W ITH DEPRESSION: Eight Wednesdays starting January 3, 7-9 p.m. 119 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, $15 per class. Info, 6585888. Develop creativity, community and the “courage to change" while you “blow your winter blues. ”

ADOLESCENTS — SECRETS ON HOW TO RELATE TO YOUR TEENAGER: Saturday, January 13, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Learn ways to alleviate stress in parent-teen relationships while encouraging the development and prac tice of independent living skills.

reiki® REIKI* CLINIC: Thursday, January 11, 6:30-9:30 p.m. Pathways to WellBeing, Burlington. Free. Register, 6572567 or 860-4949. Experience gentle therapy fo r stress and pain relief.

self-defense BASIC SELF-DEFENSE: Saturdays, January 6, 13, & 20, 9-11 a.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Learn skills and strategies to increase personal safety, avoid and de-escalate conflict and defend yourself from assault.

and experienced anglers experience the satisfaction o f catching sport fish on flies you have tied.

WEEKEND GYMNASTICS FOR KIDS: Ten Saturdays, January 20 through March 10. Grades 1-3, 2:30-

this weekly 12-step program.

‘THE HEALING JOURNEY’: A free, confidential 10-week support group for women who have survived sexual violence, sponsored by Women Helping Battered Women. Begins in January. Info, 863-1236. The Healing fourney welcomes all survivors regardless o f when the assault happened.

writing HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR WRITING: Monday, February 5, 5:30-9:30 p.m. Community College of Vermont. $40. Register, 865-4422. Learn to write more effectively by brush ing up on basic grammar rules, develop ing strong vocabulary and detail, proof reading and revising skills.

women ‘CREATING JOY AND ABUN DANCE’: January 18, 24, February 1, 8, 15 and 22. Women’s Small Business Program, Trinity College, Burlington. $115, grants available. Info, 846-7160. Learn how to eliminate barriers and achieve your goals.

VOLUNTEER TRAINING: Two full Saturdays, January 13 & 20 and two weekday evenings, January 17 & 23. Info, 658-3131. Women Helping Battered Women organizes volunteer training for hotline, shelter, child care and court work. CHANGE HOW YOU SEE, NOT HOW YOU LOOK: Six Tuesdays in Burlington, 7:15-9:15 p.m. $150. Info, 658-5313. Body celebration work shops for women teach that from self-love flows all the goodness o f the universe.

& TEENS: Classes begin January 15, Shelburne Craft School. Beginning, intermediate, advanced; furniture restoration clinic, basic cabinets. Info, 985-3648. Join a tradition of wood

WOODWORKING FOR ADULTS

BURLINGTON WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6063.

working construction and design excel lence at Shelburne Craft School.

yoga ‘BECOMING PEACE YOGA’: Ongoing classes. Essex Jet. Info, 8785299. Release chronic tension, gain selfr

k id s MUSIC W ITH ROBERT AND GIGI’: See January 12. SONG AND STORYTIME: See January 11. TRICKY TRACKS’: Parents accompany youngsters on a tracking trek around the woods at the Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 2-3 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068.

awareness and honor your inner wisdom through Kripalu-style yoga study.

BEECHER HILL YOGA: Ongoing daytime & evening classes for all lev els. Info, 482-3191 or hillyoga@sover.net. Get private or group instruction in prenatal yoga, inte grative yoga therapy or gentle yoga for recovery and rehabilitation.

UNION STREET STUDIO: Ongoing daily classes for all levels. 306 South Union St., Burlington. Info, 860-3991. Three certified instruc

etc

tors offer classes in a variety of yoga styles for strength and tranquility.

‘FEEDING WINTER BIRDS’: Slides and demon strations show you how to give winter birrrrrds a boost. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 434-3068. CHILD CPR TRAINING: Learn how to administer the life-saving technique to tots. Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 1-3 p.m. Free. Register, 860-4420. ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER TALK: Dr. Timothy Farrell uses video

YOGA VERMONT: Daily classes, noon, 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718 or yogavermont.com. Ashtanga-style “p ower”yoga classes offer sweaty fu n for all levels o f experience. ® Class

Listings:

$10/week

$30/four weeks. Mail info and*Jteyment to: Classes, Seven Days, PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. All submissions due in writing on Thursday

woodworking

Continued from page 32

before

publication.

SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style.

p.m. Bristol Elementary School. $70.

substance abuse SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREAT MENT: Weekend program. Possibilities Counseling Center, Essex Jet. Info, 878-6378. Working profes sionals get non-residential, affordable treatment in a private setting.

support groups OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 863-2655. Overeaters get support in addressing their problem.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 860-8382. Want to over come a drinking problem? Take the first step — of 12 — and join a group in your area.

AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Do you have a friend or relative with an alcohol problem? Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 8624516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this group o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration.

SUPPORT GROUP FOR PART NERS OF INCEST SURVIVORS: Ongoing peer support group, confi dentiality assured. Info, 655-4907. Partners o f incest'survivors share strug-

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU AND CARPSYCHIATRIC SUPPORT GROUP: Thursdays, 7 -p.m. Various DIOBOXING: Ongoing classes for Burlington locations. Free. Info, men, Women and children, Monday 288-1006. Get peer support fo r through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., ' depression, anxiety or other psychiatric Info, 660-4072. Escape . . illness. SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS . with an integrated self-defense sysbdsed on technique, not size, v;. »7 ANONYMOUS: Sundays,’7 p.m. , strength or speed. Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, '

Also available are d e fin itiv e A rtis t C o llectio n s of... Louis Arm strong, Sidney Bechet, Dave Brubeck, Ornette Coleman, M iles Davis, Duke Ellin gton, • Benny Goodmanr Herbie H ancock,Fletcher Henderson, Charles Mingus, Thelonious Monk, Count Basie, A rt B la key, John Coltrane, Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy G illesp ie , Coleman iday, Charlie Parker, Sonny R ollins, Hawkins, B illie r Young. ^ Sarah VaughanSj

Pick up the Ken Burns 5-CD boxed set or any o f the 22 d e fin itiv e a rtists co lle ctio n s at:

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and slides to illustrate ways to treat A.D.D. without drugs. Racquets’ Edge, Essex, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 899-9991. UNITED NATIONS DISCUS SION: Former UN staffer Stephen Green discusses poten tial reforms to the United Nations. Center for Independent Living, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-2240. COMMUNITY POTLUCK: Local folks gather to share food and fun. Plainfield Community Center, above the Winooski Valley Co-op, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8379. COUNTRY-STYLE DINNER AUCTION: Franklin County Business and Professional Women eat — and ante — up to raise money for leadership training for female entrepre neurs. Knights of Columbus Hall, St. Albans, 6 p.m. $12. Info, 524-5025. HANDS-ON HISTORY: Gregory Sharrow retraces the history of everyday experiences, emphasizing how younger gener ations learn informally from elders. Johnson Public Library, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 635-7141. ‘M OON MAGIC’ WORK SHOP: Lori Hebert leads a lunar learning session. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 476-4125. ‘COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS’: People mourning the loss of children, grandchil dren or siblings get support at Christ Church Presbyterian, UVM, Burlirfgton; 7'-9 p.m. Free. Info, 482-5319. ENVIRONMENTAL MAN AGERS ROUNDTABLE: ^Environmental health and safety sjpanagprs compare notes and network at the Montshire Museum, Norwich, noon - 3 p.m. $20. Info, 800-464-7232. FATHERS AND CHILDREN GROUP: Dads and kids spend quality time together during a weekly meeting at the Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. BASIC MEDITATION: Cherokee and Tibetan Buddhist practices help renew the body and spirit. Ratna Shri Tibetan

Meditattdn Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5435.

17 .L N Wednesday m usic • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” BENEFIT CONCERT: Jamie Lee Thurston and the Rattlers team up with Jimmy “T ” in a rare Vermont appearance to raise funds for the Killington Music Festival. Wobbly Barn, Killington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 773-4003. 40TH ARMY BAND CON CERT: The National Guard Band presents “An American Tapestry” at the Vermont State House, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 338-3480.

drama ‘CARNIVAL’ AUDITIONS: See January 16.

film ‘NURSE BETTY’: See January 12. ‘STARDOM’: Filmmaker Denys Arcand chronicles the rise of a super-model through the distort ed lens of media hype and fash ion coverage. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422. ‘SANKOFA’: In the midst of a fashion show, a 20th-century African-American model is whisked back in time to an African trader holding pott. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8:30 p.m. $1. Info, 603r646-2422.

‘TINY TOTS’ STORY TIME: See January 10. STORY TIME: See January 10. STORY AND CRAFT TIME: See January 10.

TH EA T R E CO M PANY p re s e n ts

etc HEALTH LECTURE: See January 10. BATTERED WOMEN’S SUP PORT GROUP: See January 10. BRANCH OUT BURLING TON MEETING: Join with others interested in the cultiva tion and care of urban trees. Fletcher Free Library, Burling ton, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-4938. BUSINESS MEETING: The “good old girls” of the Women’s Business Owners Network get down to brass “tax.” Windjam mer Restaurant, S. Burlington, noon - 1:30 p.m. $11.30. Info, 434-4091. LEARNING AND LUNCH SERIES: UVM prof Susan Wehry presents her research on adult mental health and the aging process. UVM Montpelier Regional Center, City Center, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 800870-0388. (?)

W in n er o f th e 1999 P u litz e r P r iz e fo r D r a m a T h u r s d a y s , F r id a y s & S a tu r d a y s : J a n u a r y 1 1 - 1 3 & 1 8 - 2 0 @ 8 :0 0 p .m . S u n d a y s : J a n u a r y 1 4 & 21

3 :0 0 p .m .

FLYN N S P A C E 1 4 7 - 1 5 3 M a in S t r e e t , B u r li n g t o n T i c k e t s $ 2 2 / F l y n n B o x O f f ic e / 8 6 3 - 5 9 6 6

art

"Adazzlingandhumaneplaythatyou will remembertillyourdyingday."

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See January 10.

---------- ;-------------New York Magazine------------------------Photo credit: Jamie Cope. Supported by: Vermont Arts Council and National Endowment for the Arts. Presented by arrangement: Dramatists Play Service.

w ords CRIME NOVEL BOOK DIS CUSSION: Readers launch a thorough investigation o t Pick up, by Charles Willeford. South Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

New

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BRIGHT IDEAS One way to beat w inter’s gloom is to turn on the clay lamps currently exhibited at the Vermont Clay Center in Waterbury. I f y o u ’re thinking opaque clay can’t shed

Offering the collections of Contemporary Jew elry artists featuring goldsmith Timothy Grannis.

G R A N N IS G A L L E R Y

H ne

much light on any subject, you haven’t seen Connecticut artist

Douglas B lum ’s “Three Light Lily ”

C o m e r of Ch urch and Bank, B u rlin g to n • 660-2032 • M - S 10-6 • Sun 12-5 W OOD • FIBERS • CLAY • METAL • FINE ARTS • W O O D • CLAY

(pictured). “Northern Lights, ”

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F in e D e s ig n s

METAL

Vermont artists are invited to apply for the 16th annual artist-in-residence program "Reflections on Basin Harbor” in Vergennes, which includes a two-night stay at the resort. Submit a bio, six or more slides with descriptive sheet and SASE. Deadline: March 2. More info, call 802-475-2311, or check the Web site at www.basinharbor.com. Artists are invited to produce artwork for an Abenaki Web site, open to ages 10 and up. Deadline: February 2. More info, call Deb at 802-868-2559. Burlington City Arts is issuing a Request for Qualifications from artists and craftspersons for a public art project associ ated with the Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, which will begin renovations in the spring. Deadline: January 19. Info, call 865-7166, or stop by BCA office in Burlington City Hall.

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Expressions ofbeauty andquality by MatthewTaylor &David Crandall

RUDY BURCKHARDT AND FRIENDS: NEW YORK ARTISTS OF THE 1950S AND ’60S, an exhibit centering on photographer/filmmaker Burckhardt and featuring photographs and film selections on video, both documentary and abstract. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Reception January 16, 5 p.m. featuring a gallery talk by visiting professor Peter Kalb on Burckhardt and the New York art scene.

on goin g B U R L IN G T O N

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ARTS FROM THE AMAZON: 700 artifacts assembled by UVM prof Jim Petersen offer a glimpse into the lives of Amazonian tribes in Brazil. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 65607 5 0. January 16 - May 20. AMERICAN SLEEP AND THE WAKE-UP CALL, featuring a collection of papiermache masks and props by Peter Schumann of Bread and Puppet Theater. Francis Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. January 17-26.

KAREN DAWSON, paintings. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 8 65-3144. Through January. IMPRESSIONS FROM TWO DECADES, featuring photographs by Bruce A cciavatti. Cafe Piccolo, Burlington, 8 6 2 - 5 5 1 5 . Through February 4. EXPLORING THE LANDSCAPE, recent pastel paintings by Tammy Wood. Penny Ciuse Cafe, Burlington, 651-8834. Through January. PASTELS, landscapes and garden scenes by Tim Fitzgerald. Village Cup, Jericho, 8 99-1730. Through January. LUCINDA MASON, painting with nixed media, and UNMATCHED, match-cover

O p e n 9:30 to 5:30 M o n d a y - S a tu r d a y • C lo s e d S u n d a y 30 H arb or R oad • PO B ox 955 • S h e lb u r n e , V T 05482 • 802.985.5095

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SEVEN DAYS

, January 10, 2001

weekly

listings

w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

art by Diane Sullivan. Red Square,Burlington, 8 62-3779. Through January. FRESH FISH: CONTEMPORARY ICHTHY OLOGIES, featuring artwork inspired by the first vertebrates, by Michael Smith, Amy White, P.K. Ellis, Art Blue and Terry Barrett. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Also, FOOD FOR THOUGHT: LOOKING AT FOOD AND CONNECTED IDEATION, artworks by members of Caravan Arts on the subject of suste nance. Pickering Room. Both through January. HOME AND AWAY, recent paintings by Ellen Mazur Thomson. Mezzanine Balcony, Fletcher Free Library, 8657211. Through January. FRIENDS AND FAMILY, a group show in mixed media. Men’s Room, Burlington, 864-20 8 8 . Through February. ARTHUR HINES, photographs, TONY SCHULL and TISHA SCHULL, paintings, Daily Planet, Burlington, 862-3779. Through January. DANIEL PITTMAN, new works in mixed media. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 8 65-7165. Through January 14. Also, “ Chimney Tree,” an installation in the former Hood Plant, S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, viewable from street. Ongoing. SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, Vermont scenic photographs by Fred Stetson. Dorothy Ailing Memorial Library, Williston Village, 878-4918. Through January 30. SEEING WITH NEW PERSPECTIVE, NeoSurrealist paintings by Ethan Azarian and Neo-Surrealist Assemblage by Greg Brower. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 6 52-9985. Through January 23. FEATHERS IN FLIGHT, monotypes in oil by Lyna Lou Nordstrom. Finale Salon, S. Burlington, 862-0713. Through January 15. THE ALLURE OF THE CURVE, featuring hand-forged sculptural gold jewelry by Timothy Grannis and a photo-collabo ration by Alex Williams and Claudia Venon. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through January. FLIGHTS OF FANCY, a group show fea turing 15 local artists in varied media. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through January 16. THE FABULOUS ’50S: WELCOME HOME TO POST-WAR VERMONT, the museum's newest historic house, depicting a Vermont family in 1950; SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW: Continuity and Change in American Furniture and Decorative Arts, 1700-1820; FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO P.T. BARNUM, prints; and LANDSCAPE & LIGHT, paint ings by Martin Johnson Heade. Shelburne Museum, 9 85-3348. Ongoing. RICK SUTTA, oil paintings "with impact.” Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 8 60-7506. Ongoing.

C H A M P L A IN

Discriminating

® Palettes B y M arc A wodey

rt-hungry? Check out the smorgasbord of food-related works on display in the Pickering Room of Fletcher Free Library this month — a group exhibit produced by Burlington’s eclectic Caravan Arts. Its members’ favorite food group seems to be fruits and vegeta bles — particularly presented in still lifes. But other delicacies such as fish, bits of meat, donuts, candy and a bowl full of glowing light bulbs are also offered among the 31 paintings, prints and sculptures. The yellow seeds of the ginkgo tree have edible kernels, which a couple of these artists apparently know. Impressions of a ginkgo’s fan-shaped leaf emerge in Lyna Lou Nordstrom’s monoprints, “Ginkgo Ascension I” and “Ginkgo Ascension II.”

Prussian blue and burnt umber over stained crim son is at the heart of this piece. “Wise Fisherman,” by Parnell Rogers, is a lanky, vertical sculpture with an interesting com mingling of modern and primeval elements remi niscent of contemporary folk art. The figure stands about two feet high over its base — a section of stump — and Rogers has blackened his wood with fire. The tall figure is crudely carved and decorated with staples running from his belly to his chest. Two oversized, ornate bands of brass form a halo around the fisherman’s head and a sort of skirt at his waist. A fish on a curved wire stands in front of the figure. Rogers’ wall piece, an assemblage enti tled “Tiny Dancer,” has a similarly crudely carved face. The combination of found elements, such as a corkscrew, chain and beaten copper, makes a cru ciform image in a shallow box.

^*7 ICONS OF BEANIE THE SINGING DOG, sculptural paintings by David Klein. Brown Library Gallery, Sterling College, Craftsbury Common, 5867711. January 17 - February 28.

NAPOLEON IN EGYPT, engravings, pho tographs, maps, letters and artifacts; and LUIGI LUCtQNL A CENTENARY RET3ANCE REAL IST, landscapes and still fifes by the part-time Vermonter (1900-1988). Elizabeth de C. Wilson Museum, Southern Vermont Arts Center, Manchester, 362-1405. Through January.

“ Organic Chemistry," by M ichael Smith ELSEW H ER E PICASSO: THE VOLLARD SUITE, 19301937, featuring 100 prints compiled by French art dealer Ambroise Vollard. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-64628 0 8. Through March 11. HITCHCOCK, an exhibit devoted to the aesthetic development of director Alfred Hitchcock’s films, with posters, production stills, film clips, annotated scripts and set models. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through March 18.

VA LLEY

STORY QUILTS: VOICES IN CLOTH, fea turing six contemporary quilts by Faith Ringgold and Peggie L. Hartwell, along with two historic examples of “ narrative” quilts. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 4 43-5007. Through June 3. TOM HOMANN & JILL MADDEN, ceramics and paintings. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 877-3668. Through January. STONES, SCHOLARS AND SUPPORTERS: MIDDLEBURY AND THE GROWTH OF ITS COLLEGE, a multi-media exhibit in honor of the college’s bicentennial. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March.

C EN TR A L

FIONA COOPER, oil pastels. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through January. NORTHERN LIGHTS, clay lighting by Doug Blum, Dennis Kirchmann, Walt Schmidt and Jim Schneider. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Through January. TAKE IT HOME: ART FOR REAL PEOPLE, featuring works in multiple media by 21 artist members. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Through January 13. RAY BROWN, landscape paintings. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-2233. Through January 15. BEFORE THE GOLDEN DOME: THE STATE HOUSE NEIGHBORHOOD, 1859-1907, featuring historic photographs reveal ing daily life in Montpelier before the dome was gilded. The Vermont Historical Society presents at the State House Card Room, Montpelier, 234-5039. Through January. FIRE & SPICE: THE CULINARY ALCHEMY, photographs by Jeffrey P. Roberts. A Single Pebble Restaurant, Berlin, 476-9700. Through January 24. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gallery, Waterbury, 244-7566. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featur ing re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. ALICE ECKLES, paintings and mixed media. Old School House, Marshfield, 456-8993. Ongoing.

PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. A rt in business offices, lob bies and private residences or stu dios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted. Send your listings to galleries@sevendaysvt.com.

V E R M O N T

RECENT PAINTINGS by Robert Waldo Brunelle Jr., Christine Price Gallery, Castleton State College, 4 68-5611. January 17 - February 16.

Michael Smith’s paintings are always playful. Fragments of fabric also appear in the translucent He uses very flat, bright colors and has con greens and purples of the first, while the second contains the shadows of feathers and the leaf in its tributed five pieces to this show. “Food for Thought” is the still life of a bowl of light bulbs yellow and magenta veils of color. Nordstrom’s — reminiscent of the pears appearing in other third, untitled monoprint has greater contrasts of works in this exhibit. Smith painted much of his intensity and value than her other two pieces. canvas in glow-in-the-dark paint. The bowl of Combed abstract lines and calligraphic, bold strokes of color cascade over “ Food fo r T h o u g h t” is th e s t ill life of a b o w l impressions of feather, ginkgo leaf and fabric. of lig h t b u lb s — r e m in is c e n t of th e p e a rs , Ginkgo leaves also a p p e a rin g in o th e r w o r k s in th is e x h ib it. appear in the watercolor still bulbs has a border of alternating Xerox collages of life “Missing a Season,” by Kate Hartley, along Albert Einstein and a brain. Smith’s juxtaposition with one of her signature pears on drapery. is particularly ironic and humorous given that Barbara Waters implies tastes and fragrance in Einstein’s brain was removed from his skull at a purely visual language. Her asymmetrical death, and then lost for about 20 years. abstractions are layered onto various torn papers Smith’s “Organic Chemistry” also has a science of contrasting textures, which she saturates with angle. In addition to a bowl of fruit, this still life watercolor and pastel. The center of “When the is populated by brightly colored beakers and test Flavors Blend” is a colorful mixed-media melange tubes. The border features squares, like the peri of green hues on fine watercolor paper. This frag odic table of elements, but it consists of only “C ” ment was collaged onto a highly textured, hand for carbon and “H ” for hydrogen, along with made paper, then framed within a black field. “Memory of the Fragrance of Ripe Apricots” is their numbers for atomic mass. To call this show “a feast for the eye” would be constructed in the same way, bur in lighter hues. a mild overstatement — and a cliche — but A field of manila surrounds a torn piece of waterthere’s enough to figuratively chew on to make it color paper tinted with orange and yellow. Here, a satisfying artistic repast. You can visit on your too, texture is as important to Waters as color. A lunch hour. © sheer scrap of onion-skin paper splattered with

lo c a l

arts •^weekly

“ Food For Thought: Looking at Food and Connected Ideation,” a group"show in mixed media by Caravan Arts. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington. Through January.

january 10, 2001 .

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Not even two weeks into the new year and already the full breadth and depth-of the human mystery have been splashed across movie screens. The bottom of the mortal barrel, as so often happens, is represented by the work of Nicolas Cage. Written and directed by Nancy ( The P arent Trap) Meyers, T he F am ily M a n is an originality-free fusion o f A C hristm as C arol and I t ’s a W o n d erfu l Life, and stars the Academy Award-winning thespian as a designer-suited Scrooge so obsessed by business, so con sumed by greed, that he insists on scheduling a staff meeting for Christmas Day. Fortunately for his under lings, Cage interrupts a conve nience-store robbery while walk ing home on Christmas Eve. And, as so often happens, the crackhead wielding an automatic firearm turns out to be a celestial emissary who magically shows Cage what life might have been like had he married his college sweetheart. The next morning he awakes with Tea Leoni’s head in his lap, two toddlers bouncing on his bed and a sales position at his father-in-law’s tire store. Pre dictably, Cage is horrified by his downscale suburban surround ings. His fish-out-of-water shock does make for a few humorous moments, but, faster than you can say sloppy charac ter development, he does an every-bit-as-predictable 180 and morphs into Father of the Year. Prepare to weep, though: It’s all but a glimpse. Oh, no — how will Cage survive life alone in his Manhattan penthouse now that he’s changed a poopy diaper and

gone bowling with the guys? Is it too late for Cage and Tea to make a go or it? Since when do celestial emissaries pack heat? These and, believe me, dozens ol other questions will present themselves if you’ve managed to remain conscious thrbugh the final act. Like, could the story have more loose ends or make less sense? And is there a movie Cage won’t make? I don’t mean to sound like a Grinch. If there were an ounce of real feeling or honest holiday spirit here, I’d cut The F am ily M a n some slack, but this is Hollywood hokum at its buttonpushing, bean-counting, cynical, manipulative worst. It may be a wonderful life, but this is one sorry, patronizing film. C astaw ay isn’t so much a bad movie as simply an unnecessary one. Tom Hanks reteams with Forrest G um p director Robert Zemeckis (hmm, why do you suppose that might be? Perhaps because that film made him upwards of $60 million?) for the saga of a Fed Ex exec whose life and romance are put on hold when his plane goes down in the Pacific. Helen Hunt costars as the woman he comes this close to marrying before getting marooned, but a piece of athletic equipment that washes ashore has more screen time. I know the sight of Hanks becoming so starved for compan ionship he starts talking to a vol leyball was supposed to be mov ing, but I couldn’t help wonder ing what Wilson must have paid for all that exposure. When was the last time you saw a product placement get costar billing with an Oscar winner? Anyway, you’ve seen the ads: Four years go by. First, Hanks makes fire. Then he makes a boat. Finally he makes it back to Helen. But not before she’s made

big changes in her life. She’s dat ing Mel Gibson! Gabbing with sporting goods aside, Hanks doesn’t do much of anything on the island that every shipwreck victim in movie histo ry hasn’t done before, and the movie’s ads give away the fact that he makes it home, so there’s zero suspense about that — even about what happens when he gets there. I’m just not sure what the attraction was supposed to be here. In addition, the story is rid dled with holes and is unbeliev able in spots. For example, although he’s bored and starving, the castaway inexplicably waits days to open a pile ol packages that bobs ashore. The plane-crash scenes are intense, and the beloved star’s belore and alter waistlines are neat to note, I suppose, but when it comes to nearly every other element, I’d have to say Zemeckis’ Fed-Ex fable never quite delivers. Will either picture still be in theaters 36 years from today? I wouldn’t count on it. What I can pretty much guarante^ ? q y f e . other hand, is that A H a r d D ays N ig h t is as good a time as it was in 1964 and will be introducing new generations to the genius of The Beatles well into the new millennium. Just think: The Fab Four have a digitally enhanced film in wide release, a book on the best-seller list and the number-one CD in the country. Not bad for a band that hasn’t worked in more than three decades. Richard Lester’s day-in-thelife snapshot is an invaluable record of a magic moment in not just music history, but human history, and no matter how many times I go back, I get goosebumps. If you lived through The Beatles’ heyday, you know what a privilege it was to watch the group come into full artistic bloom in the course of those six brief years. The picture captures the big bang of their career, the deliriously explosive moment when they entered the world consciousness with a blinding flash. The black-and-white camera work is still exquisite, the antic exuberance of the four young pop gods is still infectious, their good-natured irreverence as endearing as ever. And you won’t come across a better soundtrack in this lifetime. Nicolas Cage and Tom Hanks will make more money in theaters this winter than George, John, Ringo or Paul, but my guess is those movie stars would be the first to tell you theirs are not the most unforgettable films. ®

previews

shorts

DOUBLE TAKE Orlando Jones and Eddie Griffin are teamed in this buddy come dy about a banker who’s framed for laundering drug money and tries to switch identities with a street hustler to avoid authorities. George Gallo directs. (PG-13) SAVE THE LAST DANCE Julia Stiles stars in the story of a small-town white girl who moves to Chicago and develops a passion for dance and a young black man. Vince Green costars. Thomas Carter directs. (PG-13) ANTITRUST From director Peter Howitt comes this saga of a young computer genius who discovers the dark side of Silicon Valley. Ryan Phillippe and Tim Robbins star. (PG-13) 0 BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? George Clooney and John Turturro star in the latest from the the Coens, a comedy about Mississippi chain-gang escapees that the brothers say they based on The Odyssey. (PG-13) FINDING FORRESTER Gus Van Sant’s lat est features Sean Connery in the role of a reclusive author who comes to the aid of a struggling young writer. With Robert Brown, Anna Paquin and that literary thespian Busta Rhymes. (PG-13) STATE AND MAIN The new film from writer-director David Mamet should have special appeal to Burlington-area residents. It tells the comic story of what happens to a New England burg when a huge Hollywood movie crew comes to town for a shoot. Alec Baldwin and Charles Durning star. (R) 13 DAYS Rogers/Vo Way Out) Donaldson directs this rehash of the 1962 Cuban missile brouhaha. Kevin Costner and Bruce Greenwood star. (PG-13)

* = REFUND, PLEASE ** = COULD’VE BEEN WORSE, BUT NOT A LOT *** = HAS ITS MOMENTS; SO-SO * * * * = SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR * * * * * = AS GOOD A S IT GETS

ALL THE PRETTY HORSES**1'2 In Billy Bob Thornton's adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy novel, Matt Damon plays a young cowboy who finds love and trouble south of the border. With Penelope Cruz, Lucas Black and Henry Thomas. TRAFFIC**** Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Benecio Del Toro star in Steven Soderbergh’s hard hitting and complex rumination on America’s drug war. (R) MISS CONGENIALITY**1'2 Sandra Bullock stars in the story of an unrefined FBI agent who gets a major makeover so she can go undercover in a beauty pageant. Michael Caine costars. Donald Petrie directs. (PG-13) WHAT WOMEN WANT*** Mel Gibson stars in the new comedy from writerdirector Nancy Meyers, in the role of a regular guy who suddenly develops the ability to hear what women are think ing. With Helen Hunt. (PG-13) VERTICAL LIMIT*** Chris O’Donnell plays a young climber who launches a highly treacherous recue expedition to save his sister and her team trapped atop the world’s second-highest moun tain. Bill Paxton and Scott Glenn costar. (PG-13) DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?*** Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher play hard-partying potheads who wake up one morning to find they can’t find their car and need to piece together the events of the previous night. Jennifer Garner costars. Danny Leiner directs. (PG-13) THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE*"2 Disney’s latest animated musical com edy tells the story of a young emperor transformed into a llama by a devious and power-hungry enemy. Featuring the music of Sting. (PG)

DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS***"2 Ron Howard directs this adaptation of the children’s clas sic. Jim Carrey stars as the big green meanie. With Christine Baranski and Molly Shannon. (PG) BILLY ELLIOT***"2 Jamie Bell and Julie Walters star in the saga of a talented young dancer torn between the expec tations of his working-class family and his deep love of performing. Stephen Daldry directs. (R) THE WIZARD OF OZ (NR) The musical classic is back in all its digitally enhanced glory. (NR) THE LEGEND OF DRUNKEN MASTER (NR) In his latest, martial arts superstar Jackie Chan plays a young master of the “ drunken” fighting style who’s framed for a theft by a high-ranking Manchu officer. With Anita Mui. (R) CHARLIE’S ANGELS*** Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu get togeth er for this skimpy-on-the-costumes, heavy-on-the-effects adaptation of the vintage TV series. Don’t worry, Bill Murray is fully clothed. (PG-13) PAY IT FORWARD**** Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt star in the latest from director Mimi Leder. It’s the saga of a young boy (Haley Joel Osment) with a sixth sense that the world can be made a better place by helping a stranger who then goes on to help help three people who then each help three others. (PG-13) MEET THE PARENTS*"2 In the latest from Jay (Austin Powers) Roach Robert De Niro is an intimidating ex-CIA oper ative. Ben Stiller is the prospective son-in-law who accompanies his daughter home for a first visit and finds himself on the wrong end of a grueling interrogation. With Teri Polo and Blythe Danner. (PG-13) REMEMBER THE TITANS**"2 Denzel Washington plays a tough-as-nails foot ball coach facing the task of forging one team out of two Alexandria, Virginia, high schools — one white and one black — brought together by

forced integration in 1971. Will Patton costars. Boaz Yakin directs. (PG)

Well, executives at Disney evidently decided it was so cool the premise merited an entire movie — and a com edy at that. Willis plays a 40-year-old jerk who learns to lighten up with a lit tle help from his inner eight -year-old, who somehow manages to get out. Spencer Breslin costars. Jon ( Phenomenon) Turteltaub directs. (PG) BATTLEFIELD EARTH"2 John Travolta brings Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's 1982 sci-fi adventure to the big screen. The plot involves tall aliens who — are you sitting down? — take over the Earth. Barry Pepper and Forest Whitaker costar. Roger Christian directs. (PG-13)

new on video COYOTE UGLY*** Cocktail meets Flashdance in the directorial debut of David McNally, the story of a rowdy New York City watering hole where spunky, ambitious babes serve you a drink and then hop up on the bar and dance for you while you down it. Hey, get your big toe out of my Bud. Piper Perabo, Tyra Banks and Maria Bello star. (PG-13) DISNEY’S THE KID** Remember the cool moment toward the end of 12 Monkeys when Bruce Willis encounters a much younger version of himself?

the hoyts cinemas

FiLMQuIZ

cosponsored by Lippa’s Jewelers

between the scenes

Above are p ro d u ctio n s t ills from fou r w e ll-k n o w n film s. In ea ch , one or m ore of the p ic tu re ’s sta rs h as been NICKELODEON CINEMAS

CINEMA NINE

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4

College Street, Burlington, 863 - 9515 .

Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864 - 5610 .

Rt. 100 , Morrisville, 888 - 3293 .

Wednesday 10

—

thursday 11

A Hard Day’s Night 4 :20 , 6 :45 , 9 :20 . Castaway 3 :20 , 6 :40 , 9 :40 . Family Man 4 , 7 : 10, 10 . What Women Want 3 :30 , 6 :30 , 9 :25 . All The Pretty Horses 3 :40 , 6 :50 , 9 : 50 . Miss Congeniality 3 : 50 , 7 , 9 :30 .

friday 12

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thursday 18

13 Days* 12 : 10 , 3 :20 , 6 :20 , 9 :30 . 0 Brother, Where Art Thou?* 12 :40 , 3 : 10 , 6 : 50 , 9 : 25 . State and Main* 12 , 2 :20 , 4 :40 , 7 : 10, 10. Castaway 12:30 , 3 :30 , 6 :40 , 9 :40 . What Women Want 12:20 , 3 :40 , 6 :30 , 9 :45 . All The Pretty Horses 12 : 50 , 4 , 7 , 9 :50 . Matinees Sat-Mon only.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863 - 4494 . W edn esday

—

th u rsd a y

Dracula 2000 7 : 10 , 9 :40 . The Emperor’s New Groove 7 , 9 . Dude, Where’s My Car? 7 :20 , 9 :35 . How the Grinch Stole Christmas 6 :50 . Billy Elliot 9 :25 . Unbreakable 6 :40 , 9 :40 . frid a y

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th u rsd a y

Save the Last Dance* 1: 10 , 4 , 6 : 55 , 9 :30 . Double Take* 1:40 , 4 :30 , 7 : 15 , 9 :40 . Family Man 1, 3 : 50 , 6 :35 , 9 :20 . Miss Congeniality 1:20 , 4 : 10 , 6 :45 , 9 :25 . Dude, Where’s My Car? 4 :20 , 9 :35 . How the Grinch Stole Christmas 1:30 , 7 :05 . Matinees Sat-Mon only.

—

thursday 11

Traffic 12 : 50 , 4 :30 , 7 :45 . Castaway 12: 15, 3 :30 , 6 :40 , 9 : 50 . Family Man 1, 4 : 20 , 7 :20 , 10:05 . Miss Congeniality 1:40 , 4 : 15 , 6 : 50 , 9 :20 . Dracula 2000 12 : 15, 2 :20 , 4 :40 , 7 :30 , 9 :45 . What Women Want 1: 15 , 4 : 10, 7 : 10 , 10 . The Emperor’s New Groove 12 :30 , 2 :30 , 4 :30 , 6 :35 , 8 :35 . Dude, Where’s My Car? 12 :40 , 2 :40 , 4 :45 , 7 , 9 : 10 . How the Grinch Stole Christmas 1:30 , 4 , 6 :30 , 9 .

friday 12

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ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington,. 863 - 6040 .

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th u rsd a y

Meet the Parents 7 : 10 , 9 :20 . Remember the Titans 7 , 9 :25 . The Contender 6 : 50 , 9 :30 . Men of Honor 9 : 10 . Space Cowboys 6 :40 .

friday 12

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thursday 18

Meet the Parents 1:40 , 4 : 10 , 7 , 9 : 15 . Remember the Titans 4 , 9 :25 . Pay it Forward 1:30 , 6 : 50 . Charlie’s Angels 1: 50 , 4 :20 , 7 :20 , 9 :30 . The Legend of Drunken Master 2 , 4 :30 , 7 : 10, 9 :40 . Matinees Sat-Mon only.

Your job, a s you ’ve no doubt g u e sse d , is to p ro c e s s a ll a v a ila b le c lu e s — co stu m e s, set, the c o m b in a tio n of p e r

thursday 18

Family Man 1: 10 , 3 :40 , 7 , 9 : 15 . Vertical Limit 1, 3 :30 , 6 :50 , 9 :05 . Castaway 12:40 , 3 :25 , 6 :30 , 9 . What Women Want 12:50 , 3 :35 , 6 :40 , 9 : 10. Matinees SatSun only. Late show Fri-Sat only.

so n n el, etc. — and co m e up w ith the title of the m ovie th ey’re in the m id d le of m aking .

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229 - 0509 .

Wednesday 10

thursday 18

Antitrust* 1:20 , 4 :40 , 7 :30 , 10:05 . Save the Last Dance* 1: 10, 4 :20 , 7 , 9 :30 . Finding Forrester* 12 :30 , 3 :45 , 6 :45 , 9 :45 . Traffic 12: 15, 3 :30 , 6 :40 , 9 : 50 . Castaway 12 :05 , 3 : 15 , 6 :30 , 9 :40 . Family Man 1, 3 : 50 , 7 :20 , 10:05 . Miss Congeniality 1:30 , 4 , 6 : 50 , 9 : 20 . What Women Want 1: 15, 4 : 10, 7 : 10 , 10 . The Emperor's New Groove 12 :20 , 2 :30 , 4 :30 , 7 : 15. Dude, Where's My Car? 9 : 10. Matinees Sat-Mon only.

W edn esday

friday 12

ca u g h t betw een ta k e s ta lk in g sh op w ith the film ’s d ire cto r.

—

W edn esday

Billy Elliot 1:30 (Sat-Sun only), 6 :30 , 8 :50 . Vertigo 4 (Thurs). The Wonderful Wizard of Oz 11am (Sat-Sun). Titanic Town 4 (Sat-Sun). Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229 - 0343 . MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100 , Waitsfield, 496 - 4200 . MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388 - 4841 . PARAMOUNT THEATRE

241 North Main Street, Barre, 479 - 9621 . STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Ctr., Stowe, 253- 4678 . WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527 - 7888 .

For more film fun don’t forget to watch “Art Patrol” every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5!

12/27 WINNERS

1 2 /2 7 A N S W E R S

TINA CLARKE RON LANDRY PAUL PETERSON DICK SHACKETT DALE SEGUIN CONNIE NEILL BRUCE GAGNE NINA BARNES SUSAN DOWNEY DOUG PHILLIPS

1. THE SIXTH SENSE

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PR IZES: 10 PAIRS OF FR EE PASSES PER W EEK. P LU S, EACH W EEK> O N E LU CKY WINNER W ILL R E C E IV E A GIFT CERTIFICATE COURTESY OF CA RBU R’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. SEND EN TRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68 , W ILLISTON, VT 0 5 4 9 5 . OR EMAIL TO ultrfnprd@aol.com'. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. ^ SE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY Qf PRI7F8

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W a n t t o w r it e

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YOUR OWN TICK ET?

You see, the Freeps’ article gave the clear impression the money for the loan would come out of city coffers. Merchants were wail ing about public encroachment into the private sector. But guess what? It just ain’t so. “There was a significant piece of information that was missing from that story,” said Mayor Peter C la velle Monday. No kidding. What the Freeps left out of the front-page article was where the money for the loan would come from. Turns out the bucks would come to town through a federal program designed to promote community development — not from the city treasury. “The source of financing that was being pursued,” said Mayor Moonie, “was the HUD Sec. 108 loan-guarantee program. And I think that was a very relevant piece of information to that story.” In fact, noted CEDO Director M ichael Monte, “the city would make money on the loan.” That’s because Burlap would get the buckaroos from Uncle Sam at 7 percent and loan it to Onion River at 8 percent, he said. In fact, for decades the city has aggressively tapped federal com munity development funds both as grants and as loans for dozens of projects, both large and small, all over town. From Filene’s to North Street, Main Street Landing to Burton Snowboards, the Progs have mastered the art since way back when the current mayor was CEDO director in the 1980s. “We made that point to Free Press reporters and editors,” said Clavelle, “that they had missed a very relevant piece of information. And if you look very closely in the next day’s paper, I believe there was a clarification as to the source of funding. Obviously it did not get front-page headlines, though. I think the citizen reaction to that story would have been a bit differ ent if there had been a better explanation of the source of fund ing being utilized.” Good point, Mayor Moonie. Mr. Monte told Seven Days that Reporter Wright had told him she’d left the source of the loan money out of her story because “she said she didn’t think it was important.” Seven Days contacted Ms. Wright by telephone at the Freeps’ newsroom Monday evening to get her side of the story. We told her what Clavelle and Monte had told us, but the city hall reporter at Vermont’s largest newspaper was not in a talking mood. Ms. Wright told Seven Days, “I don’t have any comment.” Why is it so many folks in the Fourth Estate, who, after all, spend their working lives asking people questions, clam up like scared little rabbits when they’re on the receiving end? And it gets better. The day after the “clarification” ran, the Freeps ran an editorial telling the city not to loan the Onion River Co-op money anyway, even if it is a federal loan program and not local tax money! Is there a, prob lem over at 191 College Street with locally owned businesses? Fact is, The Burlington Free Press is not a locally owned busi-

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ness. The newspaper is owned and operated by a multi-national media giant — Gannett (www. gannett.com). Shaw’s is also owned by a multi-national giant — J. Sainsbury, a British-owned conglomerate (www.jsainsbury. co.uk). Shaw’s is also one of the Freeps’ regular advertising clients. Knowing that helps to make the paper’s editorials just a little more understandable — though no more credible. P.S. Over the holidays, other remarkable goofs by the local daily included getting the date of Hanukkah wrong. I’m not making this up. At least there was a tiny correction on that one. But no correction so far on the headline over the banner on Page 1 on January 4: “Oklahoma defeats Florida in Orange Bowl.” Oklahoma didn’t play Florida in the Orange Bowl. Moe, Larry a n d ...C u rley ? —

Republican City Councilor Kevin tells Seve). Days he will decide within the next two weeks about challenging Mayor Clavelle in the March election. “We’re giv ing it a thought,” he said. Curley, who said he was 38 years old when the interview began, corrected himself later and said he was actually 39. Fle’s a BHS grad and works nights as a printer at The Offset House in Essex. Other candidates include former Prog councilor Haik Bedrosian (www.haikformayor. com) seeking another 13 minutes of fame, and John Pius Hogan, the perennial gadfly of publicaccess TV lame. If Curley runs — and he can retain his council seat for another year if he loses — Clavelle will have to mount a somewhat serious campaign. Curley said da’ mayor approached him before Monday’s council meeting to remind him he (Clavelle) is “an old guy who doesn’t need to be out there knocking on doors in this kind of weather.” Cross-country skis or snowshoes might help, Mayor. Stay tuned.

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— WPTZ-TV’s new weekend anchor spent the last seven years on the box in Austin, Minnesota. The last four years, Erin Connors was the top anchor. At least she’s right at home with cold weather. Ms. Connors is a Pennsylvania native and graduate of Shippensburg University. But Erin told Seven Days she got the TV bug in high school outside Philadelphia. The school had its own on-air TV sta tion. Erin debuts behind the Ch. 5 anchor desk this weekend. Meanwhile, WCAX is beefing up its solid Statehouse coverage. Ch. 3’s the only station with a Montpeculiar studio. And “Vermont’s Own” is there — every single day with home-boys Tim Lew is and Anson Tebbetts. This session WCAX is finally adding a female to the mix — hip, hip, hooray! Reporter and former morning anchor Kristin i Kelley will be spending more time under the golden dome this winter. Ms. Kelley left the nation al desk at CBS a few years back to get some front-line experience out here in the provinces. Hard not to imagine Kristin on “Dan Rather” in a couple years. ® Media Notes

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((f)? The NeighborWorks® HomeOwnership Center of Vermont, a non-profit housing organization, and the City of Burlington have a N E W program to help low and moderate income home buyers purchase a duplex in the City. In c o m e eligib le first-tim e buyers c o u ld qualify fo r up to $30,000 in in te re st-fre e assistance!!

Call today to register for the Duplex Seminar Series: O R IEN TA TIO N : Saturday, Jan. 13 (45 M in ) H O M EB U Y ER ED U C A TIO N COURSE: Saturday, Feb. 3 (8 hrs) D U PLEX W ORKSHOP: Saturday, F eb . 10 (4 hrs)

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► EM PLOYM ENT & BU SIN ESS OPP. LINE ADS: 5 0 0 a word. ► LEGA LS: 3 0 0 a word.

4 DISPLAY ADS: $15.5Q /col. inch. ► ADULT ADS: $ 2 0 /co l. inch. Group buys for display ads are available in other regional papers in

► ALL OTHER LINE ADS: 2 5 words for $ 7 . Over 2 5 : 3 0 0 a word. Discounts are available for long running ads and for national ads.

Spectrum is looking for a part-time GROUP FACILITATOR for domestic violence program m ing in Burlington and St Albans. This part-time position entails working with men who batter women, and w ill be approximately 15 hours per

SPECTRUM

week including possible evening hours.

Family Services

Vermont. Call for more details. All ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD and cash, of course.

ENTRY-LEVEL STAFF POSITIONS - Be a positive role model to youth while helping them develop effective sk ills. PT, flexible schedule, vehicle required. We w ill train the right people. Send resume to TSYF, i Mill St. Box B -12, Burlington, VT 05401

Please respond with letter and resume to:

Full tim e entry level C A D /C A M position M in. l yr. experience w /A utoC A D R i 4 a m ust. Knowledge o f various CAD/graphics programs a plus. Ability to handle multiple projects with quick turn around a must. Send cover letter and resume to:

Transitional Services for Youth and Families

Search A m m ittee , Spectrum/DAEP, 31 Elmwood Ave.,

“B ringin g the P ie ce s To g eth er”

I I S J O t _ ) S T F = » » e s

Burlington, VT 05401

1 TICAN STREET, W IN O O SKI, VT 05404

BEAR CREW

Legal Services Law Line of Vermont, Inc.

WANTED!

= jjL L S C Fo» 25 Years. America's Partner For Erjuai Justice

■a<:*>■

Legal Services Law Line seeks an energetic, organized individual to join our legal services office and support our legal advocates in providing assistance to low income Vermonters. Support for your professional growth provided by a dynamic group, with an unbeatble benefits package. Duties include administrative support to the Executive Director, office management, telephone, and general support for work of legal staff. Ability to work with people, computer proficiency, and ability to work efficiently as part of a team, are necessary. Salary: $17,982+, DOE, excellent benefits. Send resume by January 15, 2001 to:

Bear Counselors for Valentine's D ay

Community Housing Case Manager C a rin g , s e lf- d ir e c t e d in d iv id u a l to jo in a d y n a m ic te a m providing s e r v ic e s to a d u lts

$ 10 /h o u r seasonal pay for taking incoming phone orders for BearGrams at The Vermont Teddy Bear Co. Also offering data entry work transferring orders from our Internet order entry site. Work days or evenings around your work or class schedules helping our customers pick the perfect bear for the occasion. We offer a referral bonus to you or your qualified friends! Free Ferry tickets for our com muting friends we hire from across the Lake! Must have good data entry, computer, spelling, grammar and customer service skills. We're on the CCTA bus route!

13THE FUTURE'S

w h o a re c o n s id e re d to have m e n ta l i lln e s s

livin g in co m m u n ity r e s id e n t ia l p ro g ra m s . R e s p o n s ib ilit ie s in c lu d e d e sig n in g tre a tm e n t p la n s, co o rd in a tin g s e r v ic e s , a s s is t in g w ith b e n e fits and b u d g etin g , and provid ing c r is is in te rv e n tio n . M ust be fle x ib le and o rg a n iz e d . R e lia b le tra n s p o rta tio n and d r iv e r ’s lic e n s e , j i B A re q u ire d , p lu s 2 -3 y e a r s e x p e r ie n c e .

SO BRIGHT!

E x c e lle n t b e n e fits. S e n d r e s u m e s to: L is M ick e n b e rg HCHS

Jocelyn Bolduc Legal Services Law Line of Vermont, Inc. 30 Elmwood Avenue Burlington, VT 05401

SALES

Selling Nutritional Supplements to Health Care Professionals by Phone This is not a typical Telemarketing Sales Position. This is direct Business to Business Sales to long term established accounts and potential new accounts in a protected territory by phone only during Regular Business Hours. We are an Established (28 years) national Manufacturer of high quality Nutritional Supplements and we are experiencing Strong Growth.

Come in to the Bear Shop and fill out an application or mail cover l^tter/resume to 6655 Shelburne Rd„ Shelburne, VT 05482 , fax to (802 ) 985-1304 or call (802 ) 985 - 1334.

300 F ly n n A ve. B u rlin g to n , VT 05401 by J a n u a r y 24th.

JOHNSON^ STATE COLLEGE

The

Administrative Assistant For Dean o f In stitu tio n a l A d v a n c e m e n t

Financial Aid Analyst

Full-time position available. Qualified applicant should

ADMISSIONS/FINANCIAL AID

have an A ssociate’s degree in appropriate discipline, plus two to three years of relevant clerical and adm in istrative experience or a combination of education and experience with comparable knowledge and skills. Good planning and organizational, research, writing, math and

We need a professional, energetic, self-motivated, career minded individual who has an interest for learning health and nutrition science. Sales and/or phone experience a plus. Upon Successful completion of a paid 4-6 week formal Training Program, you will be assigned a protected territory selling to long term Established Accounts and prospecting for new accounts with leads provided. This is an outstanding career opportunity for the right person with GUARANTEED Minimum Earnings of $25,000 and a much higher income potential, plus a truly OUTSTANDING complete fringe benefit program.

computer skills are required. This person w ill plan, coor dinate and carry out all daily operations related to the department adm inistrative functions. The qualified can didate should have ability to handle multiple tasks sim ultaneously, work independently, and deal e ffe c tiv e ly with a wide variety of College personnel, students, and

o u tside

in d iv id u a ls

an d /o r/

o rg an izatio n s.

Applications w ill be accepted until the position is filled. Please

send

resume,

letter of interest and

6 F o o d Science C

o r p o r a t io n

Att. Mark S. Ducharme 20 New England Drive, Essex Junction, VT 05453 FAX: 802-878-0549 • hpoulin@foodsciencecorp.com

UVM Employment Office 232 Waterman Building 85 So. Prospect St., Burlington, VT 05405 Email: employment@uvm.edu, .html „ and .rtf attachments accepted.

7 D classifieds [ January 10, 2001

Judy Wilder, Dean of Institutional Advancement Office of the President Johnson State College

337 College Hill Johnson, VT 05656-9464

We are seeking an organized individual to join our student-centered Service Teams within UVM’s Financial Aid Office. Reporting to a team leader, our analysts provide personalized counseling to students and their families from the initial application through awarding and disbursement cycles. Associate’s degree and two years related experience required or combination of comparable education and experience. Apply with cover letter including ss#, resume, and names and telephone numbers of three references to:

nam es,

addresses and phone numbers of three references to: This is an immediate opening. I f interested, please mail, fax or e-mail your resume to:

UNIVERSITY °l VERMONT

JOHNSON STATE COLLEGE IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.

UVM IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY/ AFFIRMATIVE ACTION EMPLOYER.

“*w'i F R A N K L I N WES T S U P E R V I S O R Y U N I O N

Im m ediate O penings for B.F.A. Fairfax • MS Para-Educator for 1:1 position in 5th grade • Substitues for all levels and subjects Please call BFA Fairfax (849-6711) 75 Hunt Street, Fairfax, VT 05454

Part of the Away.com Travel Network Experienced in print production? Proficient in Quark and the rest? Awareness of conservation issues is a plus. please send resume and a few samples to Wild Earth, PO Box 455, Richmond, VT 05477 or e-mail art@wild-earth.org

EOE

Come join the world’s leading online adventure travel company. Located on Burlington’s waterfront, Adventurous Traveler operates as the commerce divi sion ofAway.com . We provide the travel books, guides, m aps, videos, acces sories and gear to help people get out and explore the world. You’ll work with a group of sm art, adventurous and active travelers dedicated to building the most successful business in the active lifestyle and experiential travel market. We’re growing rapidly and have immediate need for the following:

M erchandising Coordinator

Something Different!

Som ething Interesting! A boss w ho will respect you and not be afraid of your intelligence.

• |

tlQ V C b e e n

waiting tor this & NOWit's time to act!

Wanted: Intelligent, self-confident R.N. leader with good mental hygiene. Long

term care experience preferred but not absolutely required. Interest in, even love of, ageless elders and the aging process (physical, psycho-social, spiritual) absolutely essential. Good supervision, team building, empathetic, empowering skills vital. Comfort with (better still: excitement about) sophisticated, building wide computer-based information/quality control systems beneficial. Willingness to abandon “fear based” approach to government regulatory apparatus and focus on quality outcomes based on integrity of our environment of care required. If you think life (& work life and the work place) can be a parade, not a forced march...If you’re willing to entertain possibilities and help us polish and provide stewardship to a really great, brand new, m u lti level not-for-profit, long term care community on a small, rural hospital campus... If you’re looking for a great spot to live (mountains for skiing and hiking, valleys for canoes and kayaks and bicy cles, a really great quality of life) just 25 miles off the interstate and 30 miles south of the Canadian border... If you want to be part of something really good.. .let’s talk.

Please send your resume, call or email to: Laurie Dunn, Human Resources Manager, Copley Manor, 577 Washington Hwy, Morrisville, VT 05661 (802) 888-8703 • ldunn@chsi.org

This entry-level position plays a vital support role for product merchandising and marketing initiatives. As Merchandising Coordinator, you w ill: • Coordinate assets for production of newsletters, catalogs and website • Analyze, track and create reports for merchandising and marketing programs • Form data-driven decisions on product features and timing • Write product and feature copy • Manage project tim elines and deliverables • Work closely with other departments to complete projects on time Requirements include passion for adventure, strong interpersonal skills, team attitude, ability to prioritize and juggle several projects at one time, attention to detail, firm grasp of Microsoft Office tools, strong understanding of Internet technology, and willingness to learn.

Purchasing Specialist This position serves a key role for purchasing, inventory management and fulfillment. As Purchasing Specialist, you w ill: • Act as primary contact for all publishers and distributors • Work with mail-order database to monitor product levels and buying needs • Place daily inventory replenishments orders • Work with publishers and distributors on credit and billing issues Requirements include passion for adventure, strong interpersonal skills, team attitude, attention to detail, solid understanding of Microsoft Office tools, MS Access appreciated but not required. Adventurous Traveler and Away.com offer competitive compensation, full bene fits such a 4 o i(k ), medical, dental and life insurance, plus other great perks like paid vacation, complementary adventure trips, product and gear dis counts, climbing gym and a thriving, entreprenurial environment.

Apply to: twhalen@adventuroustraveler.com (plain email text, no attachments please) Or: T.J. Whalen AdventurousTraveler.com 245 South Champlain St Burlington, Vermont 05401

The Baird Cen ter for Children and Families

Agriculture Resource Specialist

Are,you,passionate, aboutfood, the, ewtironmeKt an tiyour a>uiMumity?

Current Job Openings: GROCERY STORE ASSISTANT: This full-time position needs som eone who is familiar and interested in Natural Foods to provide prompt, friendly, courteous customer service; to meet goals of merchandising, to keep displays, shelves and bins fully stocked, cleaned and rotated.

Qualifications:

Ability to lift 50lbs repeatedly Familiarity or interest in natural foods

Im p lem en t a n d co o rd in a te statew id e F arm * A *S yst g ro u n d w a te r p ro te c tio n p ro g ra m for farm s; p ro v id e tech n ical assistance a n d e d u catio n to farm ers for im plem en tatio n o f V T A A Ps, develop e d u catio n m aterials on ag w a te r q u a lity issues for C o n serv atio n D istricts. E x c e lle n t verb al, in te rp e rso n a l an d w ritte n co m m u n icatio n skills req u ired . K now ledge o f ag an d w a te r q u a lity issues p re fe rre d . C o m p u te r literate, re q u ire s vehicle an d field w o rk , M o n tp e lie r a re a office.

A D ivisio n of the H ow ard C e n te r for Hum an Services

C r isis C l in ic ia n s First Call C h ild ren ’s C risis Service is seeking a Master’s level licensed o r license eligible clinician to provide outreach mental health services to children, adolescents and their families living within Chittenden County. Candidate must have strong clinical skills and experience with crisis intervention. Valid V T driver’s license necessary Send cover letter and resume to Marc Adam s.

Pa r t T im e C h il d r e n ’s C a s e m a n a g e r Seeking M aster’s level social w orker/m ental health clinician to provide parent education/support, case management, and hom eschool coordination services primarily to families of behaviorally challenged students placed in an intensive special education pro gram. Strong com m unication and organizational skills needed and knowledge of com m unity systems and resources important. Flexible schedule and transportation required. Qualified candi dates may apply by sending a cover letter, resum e and 3 profes sional references to Sandy Bolivar.

Ability to stand for long periods of time Organized, pays attention to detail Experience serving the public Ability to project friendly, outgoing personality Please submit a resume or stop by and fill out an application at 274 N. Winooski Avenue Burlington, VT 05401 Onion River Coop is an Equal Opportunity Employer

Call 802-828-3529 for d etailed jo b descrip tio n . S e n d resum e a n d c o v e r le tte r b y F e b ru a ry 2 to W inooski C o n serv atio n D istrict, 116 S tate St. M ontpelier, V T 05620.

P r o f e s s io n a l F o s t e r Pa r e n t Seeking m entor/foster parents to w o rk with youth in residential setting. Responsibilities include providing a supportive home environment, teaching the youth independent living skills, and being a positive role model. G en ero us stipend and youth’s living expenses provided. H o m e, utilities and living essentials provided. O pp o rtunity to w ork with dynamic treatm ent team. Supervision and support provided through Baird. Interested candidates should contact Todd Bauman at 652- 2148.

Resumes and cover letter to The Baird C en ter for Children & Families 1110 Pine St, Burlington,VT 05401 V isit www.howardcenter.org for full em ploym ent listings. Email your resum e to bairdjobs@ how ardcenter.org

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Custom er S e rv ic e Rep SOCIAL SERVICES Student Assistance Program Counselor. FT, Grand Isle County schools. Provide substance abuse prevention, early

SPECTRUM

identification and intervention, counseling services; BA required,

Youth & Family Services

M A preferred; ACAC eligible, CAC

preferred; experience with adolescents and ability to work with students, adults, families, and school/community systems required; must be selfmotivated, independent and energetic with excellent communication and presentation skills. Letter/resume by 1/17 to:

The Chittenden County Transportation Authority seeks an energetic, hard working professional to n join our front office team. This full-time position includes answering incoming calls, administering our benefits and medicaid transportation pro- -i grams and processing weekly payroll. Other duties as assigned. Previous experience in a relevant field preferred. College degree a plus. Excellent benefits package and salary. EOE. Please send resume with salary requirements.

MA, Spectrum Youth and Family Services 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington, VT 05401

Spectrum is an Equal Opportunity Em ployer

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COMPENSATION UP TO $240 If you are available on 3 days for 1 hour, and 1 w eek M-F, 3 times per day for about 5 minutes in the morning, afternoon & evening.

P le a s e Call 6 5 6 - 9 6 1 9

CCTA Attn: Michele Smith PO Box 609 Burlington, VT 05402 Fax: 864-5564

Breakfast Supervisor Applicants must have previous waitstaff supervisory experience in a fine dining environment and enjoy starting your day in the early AM (hours start at 6am). Exceptional guest service skills, the ability to lead a team, a sense of humor, flexibility, and strong communication and interpersonal skills a must. Experience with MICROS systems a strong plus.

work. Call 802-253-5713 for more details or visit us online at www.trapptamily.com.

umani 0O CIETY

Seeking Experienced, Team Oriented and Responsible

Apply to: Trapp Family Lodge, HR, PO Box-1428, Stowe, VT 05672. Fax: 802-253-5757. Email trapphr@aol.com. EOE.

■ -

“ W here Best Friends Meet'3 Your Humane Society of

LEAD

G R O U P

Chittenden County is look

and

ing to add full and part time

BROILER COOKS

people to our team. N o experience is necessary, but a smiling face and positive

All shifts, Full or Part-Time AdvancementJDpportunities Good Starting Salary

fir

attitude are required! If you want to make a difference in the lives of the animals,: please send your resume to

apply in person at 120 Church St. Marketplace Burlington, EOE

A R E YOU A D ESIG N IN G WOMAN - OR MAN?

SMOKERS

Healthy Women and Men 18-45 for cigarette smoking study at UVM

i O F C H IT T E N D E N C O U N

WINDJAMMER

Susan Lafayette 633 Queen C ity Park Rd. S. Burlington, 05403.

WFLY M M C E M T E R V M EM BERSHIP & SP EC IA L EVENTS COORDINATOR, The Flynn s e e k s an en ergetic, w e ll-o rg an ize d individ u al to m anage the an n u al m e m b ersh ip cam paign, coordinate sp e c ia l benefit events, and support o ther fu n d ra isin g effo rts. F/T position re q u ire s excellen t co m m un icatio n s k ills , attention to detail, and fle x ib ili ty. E xp e rie n ce with Word and developm ent s/w a ptus. Degree and 3 y e a rs exp erien ce or eq uivalent p ra ctica l e xp e rie n ce required. Flexib le, 32-h ou r w o rk w e ek p o ssible. P le a se send a re su m e and cover le tte r to: Gina H addock, 153 Main S tre e t, B u rlin g to n , VT 05401.

READ THIS.

V itam in C o n n e c tio n FULL Tim e Help W an ted :

SEVEN DAYS needs a graphic designer, approx. 3 0 h r s./w e e k , can turn in to fu ll tim e. Long production days Monday Tuesday, lig h ter rest o f w eek . Com petitive pay and b e n efits available. R esp on sib ilities in clu d e d esign in g ads and ed itorial stories, altern atin g w ith Art D irector on covers.

Vermont’s largest and most comprehensive nutritional specialty leader is growing rapidly. We are seeking candidates for Showroom & M ail O rder S ales. Saturdays a m ust. If you are a team player, well organized and motivated to learn- this could be the future you’re looking for. IN PERSON o r SEND R E S U M E to

S KI LL S

• Mastery o f Quark Xpress • Advanced P hotoshop • Design savvy and speed • Organization ‘ Good hum or, even on d ea d lin e

HELPFUL

UNIVERSITY k VERMONT

This positions offer an excellent benefits package (medical, dental, 401k,

We offer com petitive w ages & benefits.

CRUCIAL

\Tbe

life/disability, flex, vacation, sick, skiing and much more) and a great place to

Must be able to work flexible hours, includes som e weekend hours. Need valid drivers license. Must enjoy working with the public.

Apply to: Best Western Hotel 1076 W illiston Rd. So. Burlington

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Trapipfanrity

Front Desk Supervisor: FT, need hotel experience.

H O S P I T A L I T Y

Vitamin Connection 67 Main Street Burlington, VT 05401 NO P H O N E C A L L S

PLEASE

P izza M akers F u ll & P a r t - t im e Pizza makers start at $8.00/hr. N o experience necessary. Apply at D O M IN O ’S PIZZA 485 Colchester Ave. Burlington o r call Jeff after 5:00 at 658-3333.

EXPERIE N CE

• In tern et and digital file tra n sfer • Illu stration Web design v. • N ew spaper production • W orking w ith clients

This is your opportunity to start a career with Mail Boxes Etc., the nations largest franchiser of business and postal services. Requires retail experience, outstanding customer service skills and a willingness to work hard. Competitive wage plus incentives.

NO PRIMA DONNAS NEED APPLY. m *.

<> Full and part time positions available. Submit resume or apply in person: Mail Boxes Etc., Taft Corners, Williston. 872-8455 Fax: 872-8255

Training can begin February 1 or earlier. Send resu m e and design sa m p les to Seven Days, , 'PO B 1 1 6 4 , B urlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 , Attn: Design Dept. No p hone calls, please.

SEVEN DAYS

MAIL BOXES ETC:

n e w s p a p e r

7 D classifieds [Where the Good Jobs Ar SEVEN DAYS

ja n u a ry 1 0 , 2 0 0 1

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Lake Champlain CHOCOLATES

Retail Sales — Assistant Manager Lake Champlain Chocolates, a producer o f specialty - o chocolates, is looking for enthusiastic chocolate lovers to join our growing team! : ocx If you're a "people person,''.have a flair for merchandising, and enjoy chocolate, you may be eligible for our outstand ing benefits. Full and P/T positions available at our two Burlington locations. Salary commensurate with experience.

Send resume and cover letter to Gary Coffey or stop by for an application. 750 Pine Street and 65 Church Street Burlington, VT 05401 www.lakechamplainchocolate.com

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Champlain Vocational Services, Inc.

DRIVER/MOBILE UNIT ASSISTANT 40 HOURS PER WEEK FULL BENEFITS APPLY W e have openings for M obile Unit Assistants at our Burlington, VT facility. Duties w ill include daily travel in Vermont and Northern N ew Hampshire assisting in the transport, set-up, and breakdown of equipment at our mobile blood drives. You w ill be handling blood products. Qualified candidates are team players, detail-oriented and able to work within a highly regulated field. Able to work variable hours, early am to late pm. + High school education or equivalent job knowledge. + Previous job related experience of 1 to 3 months. + Exceptional communication and customer service skills. + M ust have valid Vermont driver's license, with proof of an excellent driving record. You w ill be driving a DOT regulated 20-foot standard multi-gear truck. + Heavy lifting required. Salary range is commensurate with experience. W e offer an excel lent fringe benefit package including health/dental insurance, gener ous vacation, retirement plan, tax-sheltered annuities, 401k match, tuition assistance, credit union and more. PLEASE APPLY IN

PERSON between the hours of 8:30am and 4:00pm, or call (802) 658-6400 to have an application mailed to you. AMERICAN RED CROSS, Blood Services- New England Region, 32 North Prospect Street, Burlington, VT 05401.

Rewarding, full and part time positions in our organization are now available. We are a private, non-profit that was founded in 1967 by local families. CVS is committed to providing inclu sive community opportunities by enhancing self-esteem, maxi mizing independence, and supporting personal fulfillment. Existing positions include day and residential support staff, contracted work with individuals and their families, profes sional roommates and home providers and case management staff. Full and part time positions include Medical, Dental, Life, Disability insurances, accrued leave, and begin at $8/hour. Contracted positions are based on need and availability. Home provider compensation is by a generous tax-exempt stipend. Please call Cartwright or Laura at 655-0511 for more informa tion or an application. Send letters of interest and/or resumes to: Laura Chabot, CVS, 77 Hegeman Ave., Colchester, VT 05446. EOE

BARTENDING SCHOOL Hands-on Training National Certification Im m ediate Jo b Openings

1888-4DRJNK S www.bartendingschool.com Full time Executive D irecto r sought for Addison County Humane Society, a 25 year old non-profit organization devoted to animal wel fare and human service, located in Middlebury. Experience in management, fundraising and finances required. Position is salaried with

EOE M/F/H/V

Drivers W anted

American Red Cross

benefits and flexible hours. Send resume with cover letter by January 24, 20 01 to:

Awesome earning p o te n tia l —

E.D. Search Committee, ACH S, 236 Boardman

Up to $15/hr.

St., Middlebury,VT 05753, o r email

Relaxed working conditions.

to: achs@globalnetisp.net

Part time and full time drivers needed and no

Graphic Designer

Insurance, & Reliable Vehicle.

Call for details or apply in person:

* W e’re looking to grow our award w inning design team. Send 3 creative sam ples (th ey ’ll be returned) or your portfolio W eb address, along with a query note.

A D D ISO N C O U N T Y

HUMANE SOCIETY

kitchen work. Must have valid Drivers License,

Four Star Delivery

The New North End Youth Center is looking for a m ature, responsible, creative and energetic team p layer to join our staff. Position requires w o rk ing with adolescents in our drop in center afternoons and evenings. Previous experience preferred w o rk ing with this population, and a b a ck t ground in social w ork or education. Pay based on experience. Send resum e and cover letter to: NNEYC, 130 Gosse Court, Burlington, VT 05401.

203 No. Winooski Ave.

Burlington

d r t

8 6 5 -3 6 6 3

S end all queries (no ph one calls, please) to Paul Kaza via e-mail:

pkaza@paulkaza.com

or via regular mail to:

1233 Shelburne Road, C-3 So. Burlington, V T 05403

P A U L K

a s s o c i a t e s ,

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Th e Baird C en ter for Children and Families A D ivision of the H ow ard C e n te r for Hum an Services

M E D IA B U Y ER Fun, fa st paced agency lo o kin g fo r a d e ta il-o rie n te d , organ ized m edia buyer, 2-3 years experience. F am iliarity w ith M arketing Resources Plus, Excel and Client & Profits is a plus. Send your resumes to: Media Director, Kelliher Samets Volk 212 Battery St., Burlington, VT 05401 or email them to bsmith@ksvc.com.

Jewelry & Fashion Sales Sales position at Burlington’s best jewelry and clothing store. Do you have a natural way

Child ren’s O utpatient Clinician Part-time, 20 hour/week with benefits, office-based position, to provide individual and family therapy. Located in Milton Family C e n te r and Milton

KELLU/ER MMEEs

with people, a great attitude, and a great eye for color and texture? Join Marilyn’s sales staff

VoLK

— weekends essential! 20-40 flexible hours, potential for full time with benefits. Fax resume, call for details, or stop by in person:

w w w .k sv c .c o m

Elem entary School. Candidate must be licensed in a human services field. C o n ta ct Susan Farrar.

School Behavior In terven tio n ist Seeking skilled and motivated individual to develop therapeutic, mentoring relationship with a high school age, learning impaired female struggling to find success in school due to academ ic, social, em o tional and behavioral challenges.This is a full-time, year-round position with an annual salary of $ 2 2 ,1 13 plus full benefits. Bachelor’s degree required. Position begins immediately. Resum e and three references should be sent to Kristie Reed.

Resum es and cover letter to The Baird C en ter for Children & Families 1110 Pine St, Burlington,VT 05401

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P.H EESE TRADFRg

115 College Street, Burlington Ph: 658-4050 • Fax: 860-4609

& W I N E SELLER S The next top 10 reasons why you should w ork here: 10. Learn to spell c-h-a-r-d-o-n-n-a-y. 9. Live is uncertain. Eat cheese first 8. We’re “hot” (sauces) at Cheese Traders. 7. Don’t fret the little stuff. (P.S. Everything is little stuff.) 6. Become a cheese rapper. 5. Help Steve think up more ideas for Top Ten lists. 4. Steve and Nancy are on vacation in February - Just think! ' 3. Be able to make 3000 different grilled cheese sand wiches. ■ VT 2. Wine Wine Wine Wine.

A D M IN IS T R A T IV E A S S IS T A N T Mortgage company seeks self-motivated individual to fill full time position. Answer 10 incoming lines, data entry, copying, cross train in loan processing. - .. y

1. Find out what “Cheese Eyes” are.

THE REAL DEAL IS: Join our hard-w orking,

Send resume to: P.O. Box 5300

fun staff. Serve our terrific custom ers. En jo y full V isit w ww.howardcenter.org for full em ploym ent listings.

time pay with 3 d ays off p er w eek, p lus benefits.

SUMMIT

Email your resume to bairdjobs@ how ardcenter.org

Apply in person at Cheese Traders, 1186 Williston Rd.

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7D classifieds

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Burlington, VT 05402 FAX to 863-4602

W eb Site Interface Designer

Must have knowledge of MacOS, Photoshop, Illustrator, HTML. Must demonstrate a portfolio of work for professional companies using cutting-edge design techniques.

Help make a difference. Join friendly, dedicated staff in leading anti-hunger organization. We need self-directed, team player with strong communication and bookkeeping skills, and non profit administration background. Detail oriented, knows network server, QuickBooks S Microsoft Excel.

W eb Developer

Must have professional working experience using Linux/Apache/CGI/PHP/MacOS environments and technologies. Must demonstrate ability to develop server sid,e web applications under fast paced work environment for high traffic web sites.

Salad Bar Attendants Business is Booming! 3 openings for enthusiastic people to join our staff! 35-40 hours per week,

Send resume and URL to

Send resume to: Vermont Campaign to End Childhood Hunger i, Laurel Hill Drive #9 S. Burlington, VT 05403 865-0255

Restaurant Manager Looking for experienced individual to help lead our growing, expanding restau rant and banquet operations. 3-5 years minimum exp. required in restaurant and bar operations. Our successful candidate will be professional, personable, depend able, computer literate and be a great team leader. We offer full benefits: including m edical/dental, 401k, shift meals, credit union, hotel/dining discounts. Resumes can be faxed/sent in confidence to the Gen. Mgr (802) 660-7533 The Clarion Hotel and Conference Center & Trader Dukes Restaurant 1117 Williston Road So. Burlington, VT 05403

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C om m unity Integration Specialists needed to join collaborative team which provides individual ized community-based supports to a 16 year old with disability in North Ferrisburgh. Work in local recreation and community settings. Looking for PT and full-time folks (FT includes _ benefits). $8-10/hr. For more information, call Heddy at 802-877-9943

Training, FT /P T,

Scully Interactive

1 10 Main Street, Burlington 05401 or jobs@scullyinteractive.com

M ake a D ifference!

Advancement, Insurance, Vacation

&more!

wvw.scullymteractive.com 'r u C

__ S I R L O I N __

E a r ly C h ild h o o d

E d u c a to r

•

K ing S tre e t Youth C e n te r s e e k s a c re a tiv e and

•

n u rtu rin g in d iv id u a l to s u p p o rt o u r c h ild re n

•

and fa m ilie s a s a te a c h e r in o u r d iv e rs e

•

c h ild -c e n te re d p ro g ra m . D e g re e in e a rly

•

ch ild h o o d / ch ild d e v e lo p m e n t re q u ire d . F u ll- tim e

•

p ositio n, b e n e fits. S e n d re s u m e to K S Y C ,

•

PO Box 1615, B u rlin g to n , V T 05402 o r

AM W A ITSTA FF D E LIV E R Y D R IV ER

apply in person 12-4

T H E S IR L O IN SA LO O N Shelburne Road Shelburne, VT EOE

Full time or Part time, Flexible hours, Competitive pay, Positive work environment.

Assistant Chef

Call Jill or Adam,

985-2596.

c a ll V ic k y at 862-6736. E O E

R e s id e n t ia l M e n t a l H e a lt h C li n i c i a n Awake overnight clinician needed for inten sive treatment facility for adults who have mental illness. Full time position. Excellent benefits. BA/BS in related field required. Familiarity with behavioral treatment plans preferred. Resumes by Jan. 24 to Lis Mickenberg, The Howard Center for Human Services, 300 Flynn Ave., Burlington, VT 05401.

Want to feel sreat about the w ork that you do? Burlington Meals on Wheels is looking for an assistant chef. 30 hours per week/medical/paid vacation/sick days . No night or weekend hours. Call to set up appointment. 862-6253 or 863-4215.

Immediate Openings for

Deli Clerks in our A w a rd W in n in g D e li Early morning or Evening Hours available. Weekend: shifts also available.. . . Advancement oportunities possible. Earn extra cash! Apply in person.

Looking for an Awesome Job??

100 Dorset Street So. Burlington

At least give us a call and ask about our jobs. What do you have to lose?

Nursing Assistant Training Class at The Arbors

JOHNSON^ STATE COLLEGE

Career Specialist Full-time, temporary position; beginning January 15 , 2001 through June 30 , 2001 . Salary with the VSC range for grade 10 . Responsibilities include, but not limited to: coordination of student planning/placement services; counseling and training students in the job search process; assist in research and assessment of various career opportunities; maintain and provide assistance in use of resources in the Career Library; review and edit students’ resumes and pro fessional letters; coordinate on-campus visits by employers and graduate schools; coordinate career opportunity outreach/educational programs; publicize information on relat ed career and graduate study opportunities. Qualified can didate should have a Bachelor’s degree in Counseling or other appropriate discipline, with Masters desirable, plus two to four years of relevant work experience; strong tech nical knowledge and skills related to career counseling/ placement; understanding of the liberal arts and vocational/professional education as it relates to employment; good planning, organizational, administrative, interpersonal and writing skills; good public relations and formal ctassroom teaching skills. Applicants will be accepted until the position is filled. Please send letter of application, resume and the names, address es and phone numbers of three references to: Judy Wilder, Dean of Institutional Advancement Johnson State College 337 College Hill Johnson, VT 05656-9464

JOHNSONSTATECOtt-EGEISANEQUALOPPORTUNITYEMPLOYES.______

Spectrum Youth & Family Services Program C a se Manager Provide case management support and direct service to teens living in an independent living group house. Work as part of a team with direct support staff. Sense of humor and ability to have fun required. BSW plus two years experience working with adolescents or MS W preferred. Send resumes to SJ at SY&FS, 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington 05401

E a r n W h ile You L ea rn . Graduate and move right into your full-tim e job with: New Higher Wage Scale Excellent Benefits Extensive Orientation Outstanding Work Environment Ability to Participate in Decision-Making Evening and Weekend Shift Differentials Better Aide/Resident Ratios

ends a must. P re viou s exper. required.

LINE COOK-FT, 1+ yrs. fine

The Arbors 687 Harbor Road Shelburne, VT Or call 985-8600 Or fax: 985-9787

& — —5------

ATST1RBURXT

... & great coffee too!

dining experien ce preferred.

WAITSTAFF - FT or PT, Breakfast OR dinner sh ifts available.

FRONT DESK CLERK-FT, days,

We are a paint-your-own pottery studio and cafe, providing a quality creative and recreational experience to our customers.We are looking to fill the following positions:

eves & w eekends - m ust have

toendly and enfcfiusiaE people needed.

excellen t cu stom er service skills.

FITNESS CENTER ATTENDANTPT, w eekends and som e eves.

SHUTTLE DRIVERS - PT, Seasonal, sp lit shift, includes weekends, 8:30am-10:30am & 3:30pm -5:30pm to shu ttle guests to and from the ski area.

CLASSES BEGIN FEB. 5TH

Apply in person at:

A PaintYour-Ow n Pottery Studio

BARTENDER - FT, eves, w eek

Trappfmnilij Lodge gs " KILLER BENEFITS available for full-time, YRemployees. All employees get free shift meals, skiing, use of fitness center, discounts.

Apply to; Trapp Family Lodge, Human Resources, PO Box 1428, Stowe, VT 05672 Ph: 802.253.5713 ' fax: 802.253.5757 EOE www.trappfamiiy.com

PT ASSISTANT M ANGER: 20 hours per week, with excellent customer service and marketing skills, able to work independently, and show initiative. Salary nego tiable. CU STO M ER SERVICE ASSISTANT: PT flexible hours. Must be available weekends and some evenings. Looking for friendly, enthusiastic self-starters who love woking with people in a creative environment. CER A M IC C A S T IN G ASSISTANT: Will be responsible for producing ceramic inventory. Attention to detail, manual dexterity and organ ization required. Experience with pottery or ceramics desired, but will train the right person. PT flex ible hours.

119 College St. Burlington » 652-0102

"Uh-huh, yeah, er... I'm working on that proposal for you as we speak sir."

e d ic a l

c ie t y

Administrative Assistant - Full-time

look busy. • :

-C 53B A

erm o n t

The Vermont Medical Society is seeking a skilled, experienced and energetic individual to provide administrative support and assistance to key administrators for VMS projects and day-to-day office support including word processing, meeting planning, scheduling, mailing, and other routine and specialized administrative support tasks, including phone, fax, mail and copying. Must have excellent computer skills including MS Office; experience with administrative tasks, project support and dealing with professionals and organizations. Minimum of two years administrative experience required. Business or secretarial study preferred. Apply before February 1, 2001 with cover letter, resume, salary requirements and names and phone numbers of three references to: Vermont Medical Society, Search, PO Box 1457, Montpelier, VT 05602. VMS is an Equal O pportunity Employer

State of Vermont Department of Education

LEADERS WANTED

DIRECTOR OF VERMONT ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICES State Government

International marketing group expanding in the northeast seeking someone with experience in teaching, public speaking, or who has owned or operated a business. 888- 472-0157 ext.83.

The Department of Education is looking for a dynamic individual to be the principal advisor on human resources, strategic budget, operational, management information, and organizational management matters. We are looking for an energetic leader who will work with department managers and staff to develop an

B re a d

B a k e r

effective management structure which includes a comprehensive performance management system; pro

We are looking for a self-m oti vated, creative person to fill our bread baking position. Th e bak ery produces a variety o f hearthbaked, hand-rolled, sourdough breads for w holesale and retail. Scheduling is fairly flexible. Train under a baker with 20 years o f artisan bread baking experience. T h is w ould be the ideal position for som eone who either has extensive bread bak ing experience or som e experi ence with a real passion to learn and advance. T h is p o si tion will develop into the head baker position in a short tim e. Creativity and individuality are encouraged. Please fax your resum e or call To m (802)“ 453-4890. t@ dem en ts.n et g V/,

fessional development plan and an effective'financial arid information management system. Individual applying for this person should have a Master's degree in public, business or human resources administration and four years of major division or department level management experience in a large public or private organization, including two years of major supervision over HR functions of the organiza tion, and including two years of management level planning and coordination or organizational resources in such areas as personnel management, data processing, space management, or comparable support services. Send completed application to John Turner, Human Resources Coordinator at the Department of Education, 120 State Street, Montpelier, VT 05620. For more information or to obtain an application, contact: Betty Fredrick (828-0584), Department of Education. For online application go to www.state.vt.us, click on per sonnel page, application available as word document. We will accept application until position is filled.

The Vermont Department of Education is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate on the basis of race, creed, color, national origin, gender, age, sexual orientation, handicapping condition, and/or disability.

The

Straight

Dope

Dear Cecil, I have a question that has plagued me fo r a couple o f years now. A fe w years ago I had a history professor who told me about a group o f monks called (and this may be spelled wrong, but it sure sounds funny) the flatulents. H e told my class they were dedicated to reliev ing the pain o f Jesus’ atonem ent through self-inflicted injuries. To prove to us he wasn’t lying, he showed us a picture o f a large statue in Rome o f a m onk holding a wicked-looking whip. D id he ju st make

this up? Was this statue dedicated to someone else? Was I duped by a man who has nothing better to do than make tip a feeble story? PLEASE let me know! PS: Could this be where those crazy stories about orgies in the Vatican sprang up? / mean, a story about masochistic monks could really get mixed up over the years. —- R.J. Huff, Bountifiil, Utah

Boy, you can say that again. A lot of people might think you were talking about the flagellants, Christians who believed in mortification of the flesh through ritual floggings. (One assumes this is the significance ol the monk “holding a wicked-looking whip,” although, who knows, perhaps the artist was depicting some other form of self abuse.) The flagellants were one of the more extreme expressions of medieval asceticism, arising first in northern Italy around 1260 and spreading within a short time to Germany, Bohemia and Poland. You’ve heard the expres sion “whip yourself into a frenzy”? These guys weren’t kidding. They’d travel from one town to the next, whipping themselves and each other in public squares and urging the popu lace to repent. Grossed out by these macabre spectacles, authorities had the movement sup pressed. (No small task — what are you going to do, have the offenders flogged?) But from time to time flagellants of various stripes, as it were, have resurfaced. Even today the Hermanos Penitentes (Penitent Brothers) are said to practice secret flagellant rites in the back country of New Mexico, and similar dis plays take place among certain Islamic funda mentalists. It’s all pretty bizarre, and one can’t help but think your idea about the flatulents is a superior alternative. There you are in some stuffy chapel, praying with the bros, quiet ly digesting the evening’s beans. Suddenly your stomach begins to rumble. The eyes o f the assembly turn to you. You struggle, but finally... well, let’s just say you break your vow o f silence. I’m telling you, the flesh can’t get much more mortified than that.

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Dear Cecil, Why does the Canadian flag have a cannabis le a f on it? M y mom w ill really be the talk o f Lake Washington! — Lauren, via the Straight Dope Message Board

Sorry, Lauren. W hy don’t you and R.J. get together and hash it around? Dear Cecil, D id (or do) the Chinese torture prisoners using the Chinese water torture? — Fritz Reece, Chicago

Probably not. “Chinese” is one of those all-purpose English pejoratives in which foreign is equated with weird. Two variants may be noted. The first is Chinese in the sense of “confused, dis organized or inferior,” as in “Chinese fire drill” (a chaotic scene, or more commonly these days, the collegiate prank in which everyone tumbles out of a car at a stoplight, runs around to the other side, and piles in again), “Chinese ace” (a bumbling pilot), “Chinese navy” (a disorganized group) and so on. The other sense is “exotic, mysterious or devious,” as in Chinese handcuffs (the finger restraints that bind more tightly the harder you try to pull your fingers out), Chinese checkers (the game is said to have been invented in the latter 19th century by an Englishman), and of course the Chinese water torture. Most people understand the term to mean driving a prisoner mad by dripping water on his forehead, although a few claim it refers to (a) near drowning, or (b) stuffing a rag into the mouth of a pris oner and dripping water on it until it swells up and suffocates him. Chinese = confused is thought to have originated in Britain around World War I; Chinese = exotic/devious is perhaps a little older. Word sleuth Barry Popik tells me the first known use of the term was Harry H oudini’s “Chinese Water Torture Cell,” a stunt introduced circa 1903 in which Houdini was lowered into a tank of water upside down and had to come out alive. Popik says the drip-drip-drip method of torture, not referred to as “Chinese,” is described in Brian Innes’s The History o f Torture (1998) as having been invented by one Hippolytus de Marsiliis in 16th-century Italy. At some point subsequent to 1903, presumably, someone conflated H oudini’s trick with de Marsiliis’s practice, and the two have been linked ever since.

— CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

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M a fc e A d i f f e r e n c e in Y o u r C o w n o n it y J Join nationally recognized AmeriCorps*VISTA in Burlington! Serve 12 m onths and receive a $ 9,500 living allow ance and $ 4,725 education award. Currently recruiting for: • Com m u n ity O rg an izer with the O ld North End Public Safety Project • A m erica Reads Literacy Coordinator at UVM • A m erica Reads After School Program Coordinator at Burlington High School • A m erica Reads Program C oordinator at St. A lbans S u cce ss by Six Please send resum e and cover letter to: A *V ISTA , C E D O , City Hall - Room 32 , Burlington, V T 05401 ; For m ore info, call 865 -7547 .

►employment ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT for a small real estate firm. Should be knowledgeable about QuickBooks accounting software and general office computer systems. 2-3 days/wk at your own time. Call 864-7537. ASSOCIATES WANTED: Established marketing compa ny new to area recruiting lead ers. $400 investment result ing in $700-$ 1000 P/T, unlimited F/T working from home. FR EE Training. 482-7092 COOK/DIETARY ASSISTANT. For Shelburne retirement home. No late hours, less stress. Cook every other week end, llam -7 p m . Dietary Assistant three mornings or combine for one position. Call 802-985-8600, fax 802-985-9789. DROP-OFF CENTER operator. $9.54/hr, Saturdays 8-4. The Chittenden Solid Waste District is seeking moti vated individuals to work in a fast-paced setting. Outside work. Good communication skills a must. Positions avail able immediately. Call Lee Tuure at 8 72-8100 ext. 212. EXTRAS/ACTORS. Up to $500 a day! All looks needed. Call for info 1-800-260-3949 ext. 3 0 2 5 . (AAN CAN) FITNESS Experienced Personal Trainer needed for downtown health club on the Waterfront. Established clientele/great atmosphere. Call Charlene, 8 64-2348. FT INFANT/TODDLER caregiver needed immediately for South Hero Children’s Center. Must be 18 years or older and able to plan and implement a variety of devel opmental activities. Nice ben efit package available. If interested please contact Lesa or Meghan between 7am-3pm at 372-4704 by Jan. 15th for an interview. GET A HANDLE ON A GREAT career opportunity w/Samsonite. Opportunities avail, for full-time supervisor, part-time sales associates. Please apply in person at our store located in the Essex Outlet Fair or call 879-7732 for more info. GROCERY/DELI. Part-time, very flexible hours, prep work. Ideal for retired person or housewife. Call 863-9105. INTERNET & DATABASE Developers. Excellent salary, bonuses, benefits & work environment. 6 Degrees Software, 176 Battery St., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 . www.6 degrees.com

MAKE FULL-TIME while only working part-time. Average over $ 10/hr to start. We offer hourly wage, weekly commis sions & nightly cash bonuses. Flexible scheduling. No sell ing involved. No experience required. For more informa tion call 652-9626. MODELS WANTED for Community College of Vermont art classes. Experience preferred. Parttime, $ 12/hr. Call 865-4422 for an application. OFFICE MANAGER. Small video production company seeks exper., & Mac literate person. Responsibilities inch billing & general office mgmL. Must have knowledge of world affairs. Good pay & flexible hrs. Please send resume, 300 Maple St., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 , or fax 802-862-6723.

PART-TIME COOK NEEDED. 20-30 hours per week for a 33-bed residential alcohol and drug treatment facility. Experience preferred but will train the right person. Pay commensurate with experi ence. Benefits package avail able. Resume to or call 802899-2911 ext. 112 for Chris. Maple Leaf Farm Associates, Inc., PO Box 120, Underhill, VT 0 5 4 89 . EOE. PT LAB ASSISTANT for orofa cial pain practice. 20-25 hrs/wk. Willing to train, but artistic/manual skills are important. Fax resumes to 802-864-0274 or mail to Jeffrey A. Crandall, D.D.S., 40 Timber Lane, S. Burlington, VT 0 5 403. TEACHERS needed for yearround wilderness camps. Excellent opportunity/ salary/benefits. Must enjoy being outdoors and helping at-risk youth. State certifica tion or certificate eligibility required. More info/apply on line at www.eckerd.org or mail resume to Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, FL, 33758. EOE. (AAN CAN) WORKING TO END SEXUAL violence. The Women’s Rape Crisis Center is seeking a PT educator, for rape awareness education at UVM. Work as part of a team to develop workshops & trainings on campus. Also seeking PT hot line workers (evenings, week ends). Cover letter & resume by 1/16 to WRCC, P.0. Box 92, Burlington, VT 05402.

►business opps BARTENDERS: Make $100$250 per night. No experi ence necessary. Call 1-800981-8168 ext. 5000. (AAN CAN)

CLAIMS PROCESSOR $20$40/hr potential. Processing claims is easy! Training pro vided, MUST own PC. CALL NOW! 888-518-7534 ext 858. (AAN CAN) CLAIMS PROCESSOR $20$40/hr potential. Processing claims is easy! Training pro vided, MUST own PC. CALL NOW! 888-310-2153 ext. 867. (AAN CAN) GROWING BUSINESS NEEDS HELP! Work from any loca tion. Mail order/E-commerce. $1000-$7000 PT/FT poten tial. Free information 608849-1186. www.cymoneytalks.com. (AAN CAN) ONLINE VT MUSIC SHOP. Largest selection of Vermont music available is at www.bigheavyworld.com! VT bands with CDs to consign call, 800-303-1590.

►announcements FEELING GUILTY? Want to get a secret off your chest? National prime time TV show wants hear your confession. Anonymous calls OK. Call: 888-248-1883 or e-mail off_yourchest@yahoo.com. (AAN CAN) JESUS AND MALTREYA the world teacher have physical bodies. They,II soon be seen and heard by everyone. Free information: 800-993-8503 www.shareintl.org. (AAN CAN) YOUR CLASSIFIED AD print ed in more than 100 alterna tive papers like this one for just $950.00! To run your ad in papers with a total circula tion exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Josh at Seven Days, 864-5684. No adult ads. (AAN CAN)

7D Personals

For WORKING PARTNER Seeking ambitious, underpaid, over worked professionals ready for o change. Flexible hours at home with NYSE Co. Coachable team players only. 888- 472-0157 ext. 87.

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► real estate BURLINGTON: In downtown, central Burlington, hidden in an alley. Is a spectacular, ren ovated, late 180 0 ’s ware house. Soaring 4-level; 1972 architect design, studio/loft. Fireplace in living room. Attached greenhouse, plus 2 separate rental units. One of a kind, sophisticated city living. $ 3 2 5 ,0 0 0 . Call Folsom Farms Real Estate, 864-7537.

►space for rent BURLINGTON: Office space avail. Jan. 1. for massage therapist within chiropractic practice. 225 sq. ft., private entrance, free parking, across from Fletcher Allen & UVM. Call Suzy at 863-5828. MIDDLEBURY: Commercial rentals. 1-3 small buildings, 13-15 Washington S t., across from Grand Union. Will reno vate or restore for your store, office or business. 425-5000. MILTON: 1,400 sq. ft! com mercial space in historical area on Main Street. Will work with tenant to suit needs. Call 893-1138. WINOOSKI: Beautiful, fur nished, corner, psychotherapy office. Avail Tues.-Fri. Includes nice waiting room, parking & free pool usage! Only $250/mo. Call Steve, 985-8894.

►space wanted MIDDLEBURY AREA: Needed for Feb. or Mar. 2001. Cozy apt. or small house for myself and my 2 perfect declawed, quiet cats. Have local refs. Please leave message, I’ll return your cal. Lana: 518946-2443.

►housing for rent BURLINGTON: 3 bedroom on Pearl St. Gas heat, no dogs. Avail 2/1. $900+ util. 862-1148,;

BURLINGTON: Efficiency apt, newly redecorated, central location. Female non-smoker preferred. $400/mo. + $400 security deposit. Call . . 863 -40 2 5 . BURLINGTON: Studio apt. avail. Feb 1. Very nice & quiet. For prof, or grad, stu dent. $550/mo. Call 862-8127. BURLINGTON: University Terrace. Avail. June 1. 1/2 bedroom apt & 3 bedroom apt. Hardwood floors. Across from UVM library. Parking, W/D. $700/mo. & $1300/mo. Both include heat & hot water. Call Jasmine 229-5123. LAKE IROQUOIS: Adorable cottage for rent by month or until June 1. Furnished. Perfect retreat. 20 min. to Burlington. Share occasional wknds w/owner. Great cheap heat, wood firs. $700/mo. 4 82-5393, sva@together.net.

►housemates BURLINGTON: 2 rooms open in 5-br., in hill section. Offstreet parking, W/D, no pets. $300 w/utilities. Responsible, non-smoking, humorous grad, students/professionals pre ferred. 863-5354. BURLINGTON: Avail. ASAP, spacious 2 bdrm apt. Great location, off-street parking, w/d, fully furnished & great housemate included. Only $450 includes utils., no smokers/pets. Call Chang at 864-9586. BURLINGTON: Avail, immedi ately. One room in a two bed room apartment. Located on Green St. $375 + 1/2 utils. Call Charlotte 860-4642. BURLINGTON: Friendly, openminded M/F for a small room in a 6 bedroom house near downtown. Contact David-,at 862- 40 7 8. BURLINGTON: looking for s homey place to live? Consider sharing a home with a senior. Low/no rent. In exchange for 10-15 hours of chores a week. Call Project Home at 8 63- 5625. EHO.

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►housem ates ►services * housemates BURLINGTON: Looking for Prof, or grad to share a 3 bed room apartment. Rent $296 heat, water, & parking includ ed. Great location. Avail, immed. Call 862-4642. BURLINGTON: Mature prof, wanted to share 2 bedroom apt. $325/mo. + 1/2/ utils. + deposit. 951-0282.

BURLINGTON: Room avail, downtown in 3 bedroom apt. To share with 2 open-minded males. Smokers OK, W/D & storage. $250/mo. + 1/3 util., deposit. Call 860-6651. FAIRFAX: Housemate wanted to for big, nice house in vil lage. 1/2 hr from Burlington. Large yard, W/D, pets consid ered.. $ 6Q0/mo. includes utili ties. Call 849-2449 eves.

NS, M or F to share lovely 2 bedroom w/F and 2 cats. Crowley St. & North Ave. Wood floors, big kitchen & bath, yard, off-street parking, steps to bus stop. $400/mo. + 1/2/ utils., deposit. (Neg. for partweek resident.). 864-1147. BURLINGTON: Prof. F, to share comfortable, large house w/3 roommates in hill section. $400/mo. + utils. Call 8635290.

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HINESBURG: Small country house to share. 15 miles to Burlington. Wood heat, oil back-up. Non-smoker. $300/mo. + 1/2 utils. Non smoking. Avail, immediately. 482-3975. S'. BURLINGTON: Attractive, good-sized, room in spacious apt. For mature female. W/D. off-street parking. Near every thing. NS, No pets. $425/mo. inch heat/hot water. Security deposit required. 865-5042. SHELBURNE: Avail. 3/3. Share quiet, cozy, 3-bedroom house on 3 wooded acres w/working prof. & Buddhist. Close to downtown Burlington. Looking for mature, friendly person who is gentle, respon sible & engaged in good liveli hood. Pets OK. $475/mo. + utils. & one mo. security. Call David at 985-3961. SOUTH BURLINGTON: F or M Prof., non-smoker, to share spacious condo, all amenties, parking, large bedroom. $325/mo + 1/2 low utils. Great afterwork retreat, close to everything, call 862-5981, Iv. msg. SOUTH BURLINGTON: Looking for prof ./grad, student to share 2 bedroom condo. Close to UVM. Avail. 2/1. $340/mo. + 1/2/ utils. Call 658-9708. STOWE: Looking for a M/F to share great apartment facing the Worcester Mountains. Lots of light, wood burning stove, lots of space & storage. 253-6690 STOWE: Professional to share 4 BR house in Stowe with 2 others. $475/mo. +utils., heat inch Big yard, nice kitchen. Skiers/riders welcome. Call Stewart 864-5884. WINOOSKI: Prof./grad. room mate wanted. No pets/smoking. In very clean 4 bdrm house. W/D. Avail, immediate ly. $400/mo. includes utils. Call Robin 655-4337.

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►buy this stuff ►moving services

►dating svcs. SINGLES CONNECTION: Professional and intelligent dating network for singles. B i directional matching. Lifetime memberships. Please call (800) 775-3090 or www.nesingles.com. Helping you get § connected.

►financial CASH LOANS. Debt consolida tion, mortgages, credit cards, auto loans, bad credit, no credit, our specialty! For information call toll-free 877-371-8822 ext. 010. (AAN CAN) NEED A LOAN? Try debt con solidation! Cut payments to 50%!! Bad credit ok! No application fees! 1-800-8639006 Ext. 838. www.help-. pay-bills.com. (AAN CAN) SHORT ON CASH? Bad cred it? No problem! $600 until payday! Call today, cash tomorrow! One hour phone approval 1-877-4-PAYDAY/24 hours/7 days. (AAN CAN)

►misc. services CARPENTRY WORK: Residential, free estimates, reasonable rates, no job too small. Call 482-7356. CATERING: Festive and inti mate catering for 2 to 12 peo ple. For all occasions. Call Jacques at 862-1306.

M ATT ST E R N FINE CARPENTRY AND HOME MAINTENANCE D oors, w indow s, c lo sets, kitchen, plasterin g , etc. C lean, c o u rte o u s, pro fessio n al, com petitive, insured.

GREEN MOUNTAIN MOVING & Delivery. Pickups & dropoffs welcome. 660-9817.

►tutoring TUTORING UP TO GRADE 8. Reading/English, language, arts, social studies. Masters level teacher/counselor. Burlington area. Call 865-5042.

►pets WONDERFUL HOMES SOUGHT for 2 female cats. Great kitties w/many positive personality traits. Require peaceful, stable, nurturing, indoor/outdoor homes. Please phone 862-8938.

►buy this stuff CIGARETTES — Wholesale Prices! All brands! Marlboro Specials $ 1 9 .9 5 . Others at $ 9 .9 5 . Must be 21. Adult sig nature required at delivery. Free Samples 1-800-2721743. (AAN CAN) INDOOR TRAINER. Bought new last year, $ 1 2 0 , used only a few times. All Manual. Asking $60. Call 863-5510. KICKIN’ STEREO SYSTEM: Sherwood turntable, Sony dual cassette player, Sony audio/video receiver, Sony 50disc cd player, two 3-way, 50watt Sherwood speakers, and stereo cabinet on wheels. All in exc. condition. $450/bo. call 865-8353. SNOWSHOES, excellent con dition semi-tradtional (wood frame, neoprene deck) $60/ bo. Winter down mummy bag, good condition, $80/bo. External frame pack, poor con dition, $15/bo. Call 660-3185.

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Carpool Connection B y T om & R ay M agliozzi

EMISSIONCONTROL REPAIRS AREN’T CHEAP D e a r Tom a n d Ray: We o w n a 1 9 9 6 V W G o l f w ith o n ly 2 8 , 0 0 0 m iles on it. T h e en g in e w a r n in g lig h t ca m e on , a n d sta yed on. W e to o k i t to o u r dealer, w h o s a id i t w as th e f o n t oxygen sen sor. I t cost $ 1 8 2 to f i x . A w e ek later, th e en g in e lig h t ca m e o n a g a in a n d sta yed on. T h is tim e , th e dealer s a id th e rear oxygen sensor is no good. N o w i t w ill be $ 3 6 0 , p lu s tax. W h a t are these sensors?

What do they, do? That's a lo t o f m o n ey f o r a little fo u r -c y lin d e r car w ith 2 8 , 0 0 0 m iles on it.

— B o b ie

RAY: You think THAT’S an expensive part for such a little car, Bobie? Wait till your $700 air-flow sensor goes on the fritz! TOM: The oxygen sensors are part of the cars emis sion-control system, Bobie. The sensors measure the amount of oxygen in your exhaust. And that informa tion tells the car’s computer whether the engine is get ting the right mixture of fuel and air. RAY: If there’s too little oxygen in the exhaust, the computer knows that the fuel injectors are sending in too much fuel. If there’s too much oxygen in the exhaust, not enough fuel is going in. TOM: And based on those readings, the computer continuously adjusts the pulses of the fuel injectors so that the mixture is just right and emissions are minimized.

RAY: Your car is a little too old for this to be covered by warranty. But we want our other readers to know that for cars built in 1995 or later, the Environmental Protection Agency requires car makers to warranty every single emissions-related component in the car for 2 years or 24,000 miles. And that includes diagno sis, parts and labor. TOM: In addition to that, for a full eight years or 80,000 miles, car makers have to warranty the “pri mary” emissions compo nents, which are defined as the catalytic converter, the computer (ECU) and the on-board diagnostics devise — all expensive parts. RAY: So if any of you read ers think this federally mandated warranty might apply to you, you can get all of the details in the EPA pamphlet regarding emis sions warranties by calling the EPA library at (734) 214-4311. Or you can get it on the Web at http://www.epa.gov/oms/

consumer/war94fs.txt. That explains your rights and the manufacturer’s respon sibilities.

Got a question about cars? Write to Click a n d Clack in care o f this newspaper, or em a il them by visiting the Car Talk section o f cars, com on the W orld W ide Web.

D c la s s ifie d s

Call 8 6 4 - C C T A to respond to a listing or to oe listed.

GEORGIA TO SOUTH BURLINGTO N . I am looking for a ride from Georgia to Shelburne Rd. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I need to be there by 7 :00 a.m. (40066 ) S. BURLINGTON TO S. BURLINGTO N : I am looking for a ride from Shelburne Rd. to the University Mall. I work Monday through Sunday and would like a ride anytime between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m. (40063 ) WATERBURY to IBM: I need a round-trip, ride from Waterbury to Essex Jet. I work from 7 am -7 pm. (40051 )

RICHM OND P&R to ST. MICHAEL’S COLL. I am hoping to share driving on my com mute to work, my hours are 7:15 am -5 pm, M-Th. (3271 ) EN O SBU RG FALLS to ESSEX JCT. I work at IBM from 7 pm to 7 am. W ed.-Sat.(40027 ) WINOOSKI to FAIRFIE LD INN. I need a ride from Maple St. in Winooski to the Fairfield Inn. I work Tu., Th. & Sat. at 8 am. (40055 ) ST. ALBANS to ESSEX I need a ride to IBM. I need to be to work between 7:30 am & 9:30 am. (40056 )

300 per word

M O RRISVILLE to ESSEX. I need a ride to IBM. I work from 7 pm -7 am. (40057 ) B U R L, to S. B U R L. I need a ride to Sears at the University Mall. I work Sun.-Sat. from 6 am -2 pm. (40058 ) WATERBURY to M O NTPELIER. My hours are 7 am -3 pm. I am flexible & looking for a ride M-F. (40045 ) S. BURLINGTO N to ESSEX JCT. I am look ing for a ride to IBM from S. Burlington. I work M-F, 8 am - 4:30 pm. (40038 ) CABOT to W ILLISTO N: I am looking for a ride or to share driving from the Cabot/ Montpelier area. I work 20 hrs./wk. & am very flexible. (40034 )

For the record. VANPOOL RIDERS VTNTED Route from: ington & Richmond Commuter Lot To: Montpelier Monthly Fare: $i35 Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m. Contact: Carl Bohlen Phone: 828-5215

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7 D classifieds ► 8 6 4 .5 6 8 4 ► classified@ sevendaysvf.com january 10, 2001

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VOLVO SNOW TIRES. 4 stud ded Nokia Hakkapaiita One snow tires. 80% tread. Mounted on steel rims w/Volvo hubcaps. Fits 700/900 series. Moving South, $2 0 0. Call Ed, 660-7020.

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►furniture BED, QUEEN SIZE, pillow top mattress, box & frame. Brand new. sacrifice for $3 7 5. Call 655-0219. BEDROOM SET. Beautiful cherry sleigh bed, women’s dresser w/hidden drawer, mir ror, 6 drawer chest & night stand. Brand new, in storage. Cost $ 5 5 0 0 , sacrifice $ 2 450. Call 6 54-6970, ask for Beth or Bill. DINING ROOM SET. 14 piece, cherrywood, 92" double pedestal w/2 leaves, 8 -10 Chippendale chairs, buffet & hutch. All dove-tailed, never opened, still in boxes. Cost $ 9 0 0 0 , sell $ 2 600. Server $350. Call 655-0387. MATTRESS, KING SIZE, extra-thick orthopedic pillow top mattress, box & frame. New in plastic. Cost $1250, sell for $4 9 5. 734-0788.

ANALOG/DIGITAL recording studio. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/songwriters, jingles, bands. New digital mastering/recording. Call Robin, 658-1042. ATTN DIVAS: Heavy funkfusion trio seeks soulful, jazzy, powerful female vocals for recording and gigs. Montpelier area. Whatcha got? 454-0104. CALLIOPE MUSIC— Full repair service & restoration of all string instruments. Authorized warranty service: Fender, Guild, Martin, Taylor, Takamine. 20 yrs. exper. 202 Main St., Burl. 863-4613. ECLECTIC BLUES-BASED original band seeks bassist in Burlington area who is at least somewhat up on theory. 951-1966, ask for Guy.

PROF. MULTI-INSTRAMENtalist seeks similar aliens to contrive language of music. No obscurantism allowed. Don’t know basic jazz theory, don’t call. Nomad Productions. 862-2307. ROCK DRUMMER needed for Zola Turn. Experienced and available full time. Looking for a hard-hitting player with a simple song-oriented style. Please call 660-8075. SINGER WANTED: Fully-com mitted eclectic rock group seeks young male vocalist to compliment five-piece rock project at ideal practice space in Williston. Call Will, Chris or Dave @ 482-7204.

►music instruct. DRUM & PERCUSSION. All levels/ages. Specializing in drumset: Rock; Jazz; Big Band; Latin. Rich Magnuson (Swingin’ Vermont Big Band; Bob Gagnon Trio; etc). 878-7867

►legals AN ORDINANCE IN RELA TION TO O FFEN SES, MIS CELLANEOUS PROVISIONS. Identification to Law Enforce ment Officers Required. It is hereby Ordained by the City Council of the City of Burlington, as follows: That Chapter 21, Offenses, Miscellaneous Provisions, of the Code of Ordinances of the City of Burlington be and hereby is amended by amend ing Sec. 21-55 thereof to read as follows: Sec. 21-55. Identification to law enforcement officers required. Upon identification and request of a law enforce ment officer or anv other municipal officer duly authorized to serve Vermont Municipal Complaint or other civil or criminal process who ]s investigating an alleged vio lation of any of the provisions of the city’s ordinances, a per son investigated being shall provide his or her name and

current address and all other information necessary for the officer or official to make a positive identification of that individual or fulfill the ? requirements of law for the service of the appropriate process. " .

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Hey, Mr. Bix...you’re standin’ in front of the front door. Could you move out of the way a little so I can go inside?

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SEVEN DAYS

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........................~

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What are you talking about? What mission? I’m afraid I can’t tell you...it’s classified.

Okay...but at least tell me who gave you this “mission’.’

Oh, I get it. Are he and Mom having a “Mr. and Ms. Nude Oympian” posedown contest in the living room again today?

Yes. I wasn’t able to complete the judging yesterday due to uncontrollable gagging fits.

7D classifieds ► 8 6 4 .5 6 8 4 ► classified@ sevendaysvt.com

wellness D 1 R T 0 ►chiropractic MANSFIELD CHIROPRACTIC, 658-5040. See display ad. HEATHER DIEDERICH. 864-4959. See display ad.

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SEVEN W f c i C'i y

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Jan u ary 1 1 -1 7

ARIES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): My New Year’s resolution for you is to wean yourself from Us Versus Them thinking; to stop dividing the world into two groups: those who like you and help you and share your opin ions, as opposed to everyone else. This will not only be your personal contribution to world peace. It will also be an excellent tonic for your physical and mental health. Four out of five witch doctors agree that learn ing from outsiders and adversaries is the top cause of a long and happy life. And it so happens that the astro logical omens suggest 2001 will be prime time to make that attitude a key part of your strategy for success.

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): I’m dismayed when I hear other astrologers dispense dopey propagan da about Tauruses being hard-core materialists with little interest in tran scendent mysteries. Statistics may show that you Bulls aren’t the most regular attendees of church and syna gogue and mosque, but that’s only because many of you prefer to express your spiritual impulses through useful actions rather than lofty gestures. Then of course there’s the fact that Buddha, one of history’s most divine ly inspired geniuses, was a Taurus. Having said this, though, I also want to note that you’re in a phase when lightning-like epiphanies from the Great Beyond are most likely to swoop. Expect a subtle, supernal miracle.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): O ye seeker o f prosperity, it pains me to disclose that for your' entire life you have had a greater chance of being struck by a falling bag of peanuts that’s been sucked out of a 747 pass ing overhead than you have had of winning the lottery. But it makes my :• heart glad to reveal that this curse has been lifted, at least temporarily. Suddenly, a dazzling new wonderland of economic opportunities is open to you. The odds that you’ll win some thing or find buried treasure or

ACROSS 1 Composer Schifrin 5 Nom de crime? lOTheatHcal Joseph 14 Exclude 19 Way off base? 20 Mete out the mine- i; strone > 21 ‘God’s Little —" (’58 film) 22 Lose one’s tail? 23 English talkshow host 25 “The Alamo” actor 27 Kitchen utensil 28 Arboreal animal 30 J a i—* 31 Trombonist Winding 32 Took a shot , " at ■ ' . ■ 34 Salve 37 Chinese principle 38 Fit tor farming 42 “Ligeia” author 43 Conductor Jeffrey 45 Thurman of “Final Analysis” 48 Southern staple

ipace for them now. First step: !ncinerate any ancient romantic karma that’s still messing with your heart. receive an inheritance or get a raise are now far better than the odds that you’ll be bonked by the falling peanuts.

ist Tom Robbins (of Even Cowgirls Get the Blues and Jitterbug Perfume fame) wrote “I’ve seen the future of American literature and its name is Rob Brezsny.” The Utne Reader has named me a “Culture Hero” and the inspirational SARK (author of Succulent W ild Women) called me a “word wizard for the soul.” But I hope you realize, Virgo, that I’m boasting so brazenly only because I want to be a feisty role model for you. In fact, my New Year’s resolution is to coax you into becoming a bigger, badder booster and promoter of your own wonders. Step one: Spend an hour describing your beautiful quali ties into a tape recorder.

CANCER

(June 21 -July 22): Celibacy has long been a pillar in the lives of certain religious devotees. Christian monks and nuns, for instance, shun sex and marriage in order to focus their libidos on their relationship with God. W ithout pan ning their approach, I’d like to praise spiritual work that not only doesn’t avoid intimate relationship, but makes it a linchpin. Teachers like John and Jennifer Welwood (check out John’s book Love and Awakening) describe a seeker’s path that thrives on the heroic challenges of loving an actual person. I mention this, Cancerian, because a window of opportunity is now open for you to create synergy between your longing for God and your connection with a beloved companion.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Most of the Twelve Labors performed by the legendary Greek warrior Hercules were glamorous tasks: hand-to-hand battle with a lion, the capture of a white bull, freeing Prometheus from his chains. But he also had to become a kind of Super Janitor for one of his assignments, tidying up after 3000 oxen whose stables had not been cleaned in years. I’m afraid your own hero’s journey is likely to take a com parable detour during the next couple weeks, Leo. The bright side: If you do the job without resentment, you’ll be rewarded with a far more noble struggle.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My horoscope column reaches nine mil lion readers in five languages and 122 publications. In praise o f my recent book, The Televisionary Oracle, novel

140 Used a 91 Film site 50 PC key whetstone 93 Forceful 52 Make .wine 95 Neiman or 141 Humorist divine.. Bombeck Anderson 55 Drives and 96 — Dinh drives? . DOWN Diem 58 ’87 Warren 1 The Four — Beatty film .97 Broadway 2 Expect letters 60 Word game 3 Sweetheart 65 Ol’ Blue r 99 Director von 4 “Twelfth Stroheim Eyes’ Night" role 101 Curly birthplace 5 Landon or poker? 67 Church Kjellin 102 Singer " area 6 Ulrich of Wooley 68 Apple Metallica 106 TV’s “My — variety ’ 7 Matinee — Dads" 69 Mauna — 8 As well 70 Cpeur d’— , 108 Swift savages 9 Brief brawl . ID -V111 — Cob, CT 10 Part of PST 114 Strauss 71 Skater 11 Cologne opera Midori cry 72 Actress Nell 117 Japanese ! porcelain 12 Paris’ pop 73 "The King 13 Small shot 120 Recite a and 1" 14 One of the soliloquy refrain Clintons 74 Subordinate 121 Pants measurement 15Yalie « tb ■ ■ 16 Like some 75 “It Was A V 122 Addis — sweaters Good Day” 126 Mythical 17 Dwight’s weeper rapper competition 128 “Poetry 78 Pithy Man” singer 18 Varnish 80 Hazel’s ingredient 132 “Bill & Ted’s boss 24 Mailer’s Excellent 81 Add color Gv. “The — 83 QuiOt ■ — j ■. Adventure" Park" \ star mouse 26 Natalie's 134 A Muse 84 Jeweler’s sister 135 California weight 29 With-it resort 85 Novelist 33 Mr. 136 Become Kobo Hammarboring 86 “— homo” skjold 87 Neighbor of 137 Warty one 35 — Dame . Neb. „ ' 138 Talk out of 36 It’s in the 139 Fluff the 88 Author _ France < bag * L flour

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Though January is only half over, I’m presenting the Dream of the Month award to a Libran chef, Frida Haslam o f Portland. She recently called my hotline to report a dream she called “The Unfinished Souffle.” In the dream, she was preparing a spinach souffle. After baking for some time, it still had one spot in the middle that remained raw. Most of the delicate egg dish was ready, though, and Frida was afraid that if she kept it in the oven much longer it would burn. W hat to do? She took it out, carefully cut away the fully cooked parts, and served them to her family. The rest she threw out. By the way, Libra, Frida’s dream is a perfect metaphor for your life in the coming week.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Astronomers rarely lower them selves to examine evidence for UFOs. Many of them, however, put their faith in an equally improbable source of alien contact: They use radio tele scopes to search for broadcasts com ing from planets circling distant stars. Two years ago there was a burst of excitement at Australia’s Parkes

39 Feta marinade 40 Fleur-de— 41 Racial 44 Jug part 45 “Gross!” 46 Bovine bellow 47 “Wozzeck" composer 49 Chihuahua or Tabasco 51 Freighter 53 “My Little Margie star 54 Ham up “Hamlet” 56 Pleat 57 Singer Davis 59 Guacamole base 61 This instant 6 2 “The Kitchen God’s Wife” author 63 Common 64 Cul-de— 66 Physicist Fermi 74 Metropoli tan 75 Stuff 76 Grammari an’s concern 77 High-rise building? 79 Be important 80 Irate 82 Member of the mil.

• 84 Snag 87 Crab’s expression 89 Card game 90 Spud bud 92 Ring stats 94 Long or Peeples 98 Hwy. 100 — polloi 103 Port 104 New York county 105 Met men 107 Slangy suffix 109 Word form for “all” 110 Sault — Marie, Ml 111 Like Batman 112 Paint pigment 113 Summer ermine 115 Dog star 116 Humiliate 118 Turbine part 119 Steel support 123 Palo — , CA 124 Comic Orson 125 Ferris-wheel feature 127 The Valkyries’ mom 129 When Satie sweltered 130 Klutz 131 Humor 133 Tie the knot

Observatory when a distinctive signal began to recur at the same time every evening. An extraterrestrial homing beacon? Nah. It turned out to be coming from a microwave oven used to prepare dinner by workers else where in the building. The moral of the story, as far as you Scorpios are concerned: Whatever you imagine has an exotic, far-off, or unfamiliar origin actually has its roots very close to home. The open secret is right in front of you.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If I ever write a self-help manual called The Reverse Psychology o f Getting Everything You Want, it will discuss the following paradoxes (all of which are useful for you to meditate on): 1. People are more willing to accommodate your longings if you’re not greedy or grasping. 2. A good way to achieve your desires is to culti vate the feeling that you’ve already achieved them. 3. As you work with all your might to manifest your dreams, you must understand that they’ll probably be changed by your pursuit of them. 4. Be careful what you wish for because if your wish does materialize it will require you to change in ways you didn’t foresee.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): “Dear Dr. Brezsny: I was jealous when I saw your ’scope for Taurus a while ago, the one predict ing “N O N STO P H O T SLOPPY LOVE.” Being that I’m a desolately single Capricorn and every Capricorn I know is riding in the same lonely boat, I’d like an update on where we stand. Is there any hope? — Solitary Goat.” Dear Solitary: I’m not saying it won’t happen before this, but you could rightly expect N O N STO P H O T SLOPPY LOVE this May and again next October. And the results will be richest if you start clearing the

AQUARIUS („„ 20 Feb. 18): If this was the Middle Ages, the metaphor I’d use for your horo scope would be an image that your castle is about to be besieged by marauders. I’d counsel you to get ready to pour burning oil or hurl boulders down on them from your battlements. But since this is a more civilized age and the impending crisis is nowhere near as epic, I’ll assume a less histrionic tone. I will advise you to start building irrefutable argu ments fueled by impeccable logic. They’ll be your best defense against the adversaries and pests that will be arriving to harass you.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Curious about the uproar going on behind your eyes, I made a telepathic investigation. In that 17-ring circus you call your brain, I detected a trac tor pull, chess match, underwater psychotherapy session, cock fight in a snake pit, drunken gamelan orchestra, teenage make-out party, protest march and a whole lot of other com motion. Personally, I enjoyed it, but then I’m a notorious ambiguity-lover. You may be having more chaotic and unsettling effects on people who like their reality neatly sliced and diced. Possible solution: Hang around with more ambiguity-lovers. ®

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night for your

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1-9 0 0 -9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $ 1 .3 9 p e r m in u te. 18 and over. Touch to n e p h o n e, c / s 8 1 2 /3 7 3 -9 7 8 5 1' A nd d o n ’t fo r g e t to c h e c k out R o b ’s W eb s ite at w w w .freew illa stro lo g y.ct U pdated Tuesday night.

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a healthy, non-abustve relationship may advertise In PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests, lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to indicate gender, race, religion and $exua! preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over years of age.

5235_________________________ SWF, 40S, ACTIVE, ENJOYS THE OUTDOORS, movies, good conversation, gardening & the ocean. ISO that special M, who is easygoing & sincere to share interests, for LTR. 5230

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woman Making mm ROMANCE, HIGH FIDELITY STYLE. LET US swap mixed tapes. The soundtrack to my life includes: Emmylou Harris, Daniel Lanois, Gillian Welch, Elvis Costello, Jonathan Richman, Innocence Mission, Bill Monroe, ;Roy Orbison.2954 ______________________ TIRED OF BEING SINGLE. BROKEN-HEARTED too many times. F, 28, attractive, seeks M, 30-38, who enjoys dining out, movies, & long talks. 2953 SPF, 42, 5’5”, 125 LBS. I LIKE FAST CARS & loud music, dancing, dining & entertaining. Mostly I enjoy working around my house in the country & want someone to share this. 2945________________________

SPUNKY, SPF, 30S, SKIER, ACTIVE, ATHLETic, fun, health-conscious, intuitive, vegetari an, focused. Enjoy traveling, adventure, mountains. ISO SPM, similar qualities, com municative, open, patient, emotionally mature, sensitive, positive, funny, fit, happy. 5223_____________________________________

5420

VEGETARIAN WOMAN, NS, FIT, YOGA PRACTItioner, meditator with inner & outer appeal seeks fit, S/DM vegetarian, 40S-60S, for LTR. Be my best friend, companion & coworker for social change. 5222 __________ _

_____________________

DIGGING BEETS & DIGGING DEEPER. SF, 24, adventurous, quirky, wide-eyed. Hopeful yet realistic revolutionary loves acrobatic conver sations, silence of snowy woods, music-mak ing, watching moonrise over the compost pile. 5418_________________________________

I’M A WHIMSICAL YET WISE CHILD AT 33. A music-loving revolutionary, a strong yet vul nerable goddess who is humbled by the oneness of life, yet inspired by its beauty.

WITH ONE CALL. DWM, 38, SMOKER, GOOD looks & build. Seeks slender F, 28-42. Call this ad & find fun, laughter, passion & inti macy from a guy who has much to offer. 5452________________________

m m M a k in g w o m m

SINCERE, HONEST DWPM, LOOKING TO meet an attractive lady 40/50 for a new life based on trust, openness, honesty. I am attractive, fit & active. Love outdoors and simple things in life.5450

PROFESSOR, ARTIST, METAPHYSICIAN, 53, DM, loving, sensitive, caring, articulate. Seeks life companion, preferably younger, petite, bright, sweet, gentle, calm, rational, no perfume, no makeup. NS. 2948

SWPF, 32 YO, HONEST, HUMOROUS, FUNloving, active, outdoorsy, healthy, worldly, attractive, secure, traveler, ISO similar SWPM, 29-40 who is also ambitious, for ward-thinking, protecting, responsible, resourceful. Friends? LTR?5395

SWPM, 29, ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC, LOVE VT’s mtns & waterways. ISO an honest, fit & emotionally mature woman. 2935

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SWF, ISO, AFFECTIONATE, FINANCIALLY STAble M, 35-48, connected w/family & friends, involved in personal growth, playful, cre ative, walker, snowshoer, likes to hold & be held, friendship first. 2925

HONEST, HARDWORKING SWF, 30s, OUTGOing, family-oriented w/old-fashioned values, believes in courtship first. ISO SWM, NS, NA, eligible bachelor w/o excess baggage, hon es^ committed, & true. Possible LTR. 5447 SEASONAL MOUNTAIN PARTNER IS SOUGHT by smiley 2nd yr. teler, ex-10 yr mogul skier, who’s intelligent, attractive, fit, 27 YO, with dog. Only if you’re an active teler, skier or boarder, 23-33, healthy, NS, fun, honest, in

Burlington area. 5444 LOVE AFTER 50. Attractive, sparkling, SWPF, 51, passionate about travel, adventures, theater and love. Seeks a gentleman who is intelligent, attrac tive, cultured and romantic. 5428 the b e s t is y e t t o b e

WHAT DOES IT TAKE? SEXY, SAVVY, SINcere, cerebral, boom up the bass, nice up the place. Art, lit., sci., psy., mtn., sea, poet ry breathes, viva mi amore. Calling life partner to adore.5462_________________________

SWM, 24 YO, GOOD-LOOKING, 5’9”. 165 lbs. ISO SF, 18-25 YO, for discreet good times. I can keep a secret if you can. 2952__________

SWF, ATTRACTIVE, SHAPELY, PASSIONATE about outdoor activities. Intelligent conver sation, entertaining w/friends. You are hon est, fun-loving, monogamous, financially secure, who is avail, to share new experi ences & spontaneous travel. 5397__________

LUSCIOUSLY MAGICAL, WITCHY, FULL-FIGURed, DF, 37 YO, ISO, SM/DM, over 35 YO. Intellectually stimulating, honest, romantic, compassionate, & a huge, loving heart & soul. Wanting a LTR.2936

50 YO SWF, BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYES. LAID back, honest & loving smoker. Enjoys read ing & listening to music. Looking for the same. Possible LTR. 5458

SW DAD, 39, AVE. HT./WT., SPIRITUALLY metaphysically oriented, introspective, avid reader, strong outdoor/nature collection, tooling w/inner technologies. ISO S/DF for the exploration of the mysteries of life/love. 5463_____________________________________

5404_________________________ ARE YOU CREATIVE, NONMATERIALISTIC, spiritual, fit, active, progressive, 50+, emo tionally grounded? Do you enjoy gardening, arts, music, projects, cooking? Me, too. 5402

SOUL MATE WANTED. ATTRACTIVE, PETITE, SWF, 38, 5’4 ”, 105 lbs., long brn./brn. Loves music, dancing, movies, candles, romance, passion, company of a great man. ISO attractive, slim, SWM, 28-42, for exciting LTR. Call or send photo.2939

SWF, 40'S, 5’6”. ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE TEACHer, sociable and down-to-earth. ISO fun-lov ing, educated, M w/old-fashioned family val ues for LTR, friendship first. Care to skate, xc-ski, hike, dance, listen to Irish music over a Guinness?2928

43,75 & 206. DETAILS INANE. JUST SEND the pics. Don’t disdain. Health, sports, fit as a horse, no divorce. Make the call, make it ring. We might fall, might have that thing. 5466________________________

ACTIVE DWF, 51, LIKES CAMPING, CONTRA dancing, snowshoeing, ‘50s rock to classical, and VPR. Seeking NS to share activities and companionship. Friendship first. Rutland area. 5211

ACTIVE, ENGAGING, PF, 42, LOVES OUTdoors. Seeks exuberant, self-aware, NS, PM w/slim, athletic build, sense of humor, pas sion for life. XC skiing, snowshoeing, nature, films, music. WA County environs. 2943

GROUNDED DREAMER SEEKS ENLIGHTENED fool. I recognize my idiosyncrasies, do you? 24 YO, SWF, ISO, 24-?, SPM for astounding adventure, clever conversation, flourishing friendship, realistic romance, and more! 2931

SWM, 27, TALL, HANDSOME, SOMETIMES smoker, w/penchant for relevant conversa tion & great wit. Enjoys Nick Cave, Camus’ novels, & scotch. Seeking interested & inter- ■ esting woman, under 35, for company. 5467 -

SHARE MY ZEST. HAVING LEARNED TO ENjoy life alone, I’d like a companion to share the bright, playful, energetic, aesthetic, cre ative aspects of middle-age outdoors, w/open heart & enlightened good-humor. Perceptive, zaftig DWPF, NS. 5218

LUSCIOUSLY FULL-FIGURED SWF W/BLACK boot fetish,ISO 20-25 YO teddy bear who’s intelligent, sincere, and man enough to watch chick flicks. Kindness, sensitivity, and open-mindedness essential.5411____________

* * ;;

TALL SWF W/GOOD INTELLECT & HUMOR sought by 30+ affable, rural, multi-talented 1 SWM. For outdoor adventures, dancing, laughter, & intimacy. 5484__________________

SWPF, 32, SCORPIO, BORN IN THE YEAR OF the monkey. Fit, athletic & fun-loving, seek ing honest, trustworthy companion for adventures & apres entertainment. 5226

SHAMELESSLY ATTRACTIVE, INTELLI GENT, educated, responsive, (com)passionate, reflective, sophisticated, unpreten tious, playful, fit, athletic, traveled, secure, & otherwise modest, F. Celebrates your integrity, humor, (irreverence, wisdom, intel lectual curiosity, generosity of spirit, 50+.

;;

ACTIVE, FRIENDLY, SHY SWM, 39- ISO ; younger, SWF, for fun, friendship, relation* ship. Enjoy outdoors (run, ski, hike, bike) ; nature & quiet times. ND, NS honesty a » ________________ j must. Let’s talk. 5490

NEW TO BURLINGTON: SWPF, 40, W/NO children, independent, slim, funny, consider ate, kind, hikes, camper, skier, traveler, adventurous, outgoing, looking to meet you. All calls answered & I don’t nagl5229______

A=Asian, B=Black, Bi=Bisexual, C=Christian, CU=Couple, D=Divorced, F=Female, G=Gay, H=Hispanic, ISO=ln Search Of. j=Jewish, LTR=Long-Term Relationship M=Ma!e, Ma=Married, ND=No Drugs, NS=Non-Smoking, NA=No Al cohol, P=Professional, S=Single, TS=Transsexual, W=White, Wi=Widowed, YO=Years Old

I-8 O O -7 IO -8 7 2 7

40 YO, BLONDE/BLUE, 165 LBS, DWPM, extremely fit, educated, hunter/gardener, wants to snowboard mountains and kayak rivers with someone other than his dog. ISO similar SF w/o tail! 32-45, LTR?5491_________

HAVE DUCT T A P E - WILL TRAVEL INCENDiary Bitch ready to burn the house down. You: between legal and dead. Me: ageless.

guidelines: Anyone seeking

LOOKING FOR YOU: 36 YO, DWM, LIKES dancing, music, quiet nights, sports. ISO WF, 20-40, w/same interests. Possible LTR. 5446 SONNY SEEKS CHER. LEAD GUITARIST SEEKS rhythm accompaniment. Me: DWPM, 44, tall, fit, active, easy-going. You: Younger, fit, active, seductive, happy, outgoing, pretty, Let’s jam! Musical expertise not required! > 54£7________________________ ! : i i

j MACKEREL SKIES/BLIND DATES: WHAT DO : they have in common? O’naturelle (like feel: ing great) girls give me a write or a call! ; 54£5______________________ __ : ; ; :

WANTED: A OUTDOORSY LADY, THAT LIKES gardens, farm animals, flowers, to go to the ocean. Me: A 6’3”, 260 tbs., brown haired, good looking farmer, worldly, strong. 5422

: : : j ;

SWM, 22, HONEST, HARDWORKING, CONSIDerate. Farmer, fiddler & logger. ISO SF, 2030, down to earth, who likes to laugh and is willing to snowshoe for tea by the woodstove. 5421________________________________

; IS THERE LOVE IN THE WORLD? 34, TALL, ; attractive, P, creative, unrequited human, ; mateless in the urban wilderness. Are you 25-34? Can we build an oasis together?54i7 j : I l |

POOH LOOKS FOR LOVE, LAUGHS 8t LOGIC. SWM, 31, 5’8”, moved from Boston. Centered, funk, Simpsons, cooking,funny, educated, fit. ISO friend, companion, taughs & a warm heart. Honesty is still #1. 5413

; l ; j :

HEALTHY WM SEEKS VENTUROUS F FOR friendship & affection. I’m 46 YO, 5’8”. Very caring & affectionate. Your marital status not important as I am discreet. From NY area. 54W_____________________________________

> •j j; *

HAPPY WITH MY LIFE. LEARNING ALL THE time but want to share some of those things with someone. WM, 52, NS, in great shape. Love outdoors & in. 5405

J MATING SEASON APPROACHING! M, 43, ISO semi-wild F feline who can make tiger nois> es. You & I are passionate, affectionate & committed, for LTR.5401

BUFFY SEEKS HER ANGEL. 30, FUNNY, INTELligent, full-figured. Into Pop Culture, film &, fun. ISO like-minded man 28-38 for late night slayings. Good humor a must! 5394 NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING gained. DWF, petite, N/S, attractive, fun-loving, honest, compassionate, seeks same in a gentleman. 50-6oish to share dining, dancing, walks, conversation, quiet times at home. 5391 LONESOME ANARCHIST COWGIRL ISO PELVIC acquaintance for tong winter’s nap. Frisbee in the snow?5387 LET’S GO SKIING! 5’9”, BLUE-EYED, BLONDE, 47, ISO tall, WPM, NS, for outdoor/ indoor adventures. Intelligent, witty, high-energy F promises colorful conversation & a lot of fun. 5246

> ENGLISH PATIENCE. 30YO, LANGUAGE & culture scholar, open-mind, conservative NOT ANOTHER SINGLE YEAR. SWM, 35. OUT- * manner. ISO wisdom, beauty & the gentle doorsman, loving, caring, good cook. ' graces of that special SF, 20-35, I’ve yet to Seeking SWF, similar interests, friends or > meet. 5400 LTR. Family-interested and oriented. 2926 I DEAR SANTA, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS WELL AND BROADLY EDUCATED, SELFis attractive, healthy, fit, ambitious, loving, employed man w/sophisticated wit and * active, kind, NS, ND, who likes country life, eclectic interests seeking repartee, many J animals, movies, outdoors, 35-47. P.S. I’ve small adventures, empathy, deepening with 1 been a good boy. 5389 woman 45-55. At 59, the last Beatnik, not ’ “IMMATURE” 41, DWM, GOOFY-FOOT SEEKS the first hippie. 2920 > adventurous Lolita for amorous trysts. DWM, HAVING SUCCESSFULLY RAISED A fam v Gourmet meals included. Rutland/Killington ily, I find myself newly part of the dating * area. 5388 scene. I would like to find a confident lady ( PLAYFUL, WITTY, CREATIVE, CULTURAL JAMto give me a guided tour. My treat. 2783 » mer, art, mischievous, professional, very outSM, 34, 5’io ”, 165 LBS, SEEKS CHARISMATIC ) doorsy, red wine, good food, music, cuddle, F for dinner and movies this winter. I enjoy * 38, attractive, goofy, mature, immature, spontaneity and have a list of interests as v seeking but not avoiding. 5386 long as the next guy, but why spoil the first date? 5492

Dear Lola, I knew this doesn’t seem like an appropriate Lola letter, but I’ve ju st driven home from a week cut of state, and I was sc irritated by the dopes on the road who don’t clear the snow cff their cars that it was either write you or resort to road rage. Consider this my howl of fury. Blinded in Bolton Dear Blinded, There really are very few topics that don’t relate to issues of love, and the one you’ve raised is no exception. As I see it, the inconsid erate slobs you describe tall into two categories. Those who don’t clear the snow from their trent an d /or rear win dows are endangering themselves, and doing us all a favor by angling ter self-elimination trom the gene pool. Those who tail to clear the snow from their roofs are obviously not getting enough of doo-wah-ditty back home, if you catch my drift, and are taking cut their sexual frustrations on the rest of us. Think about that next time you encounter a snow-ccvered car, and you’re ' bound to feel better. I know I do. Love, ^ M

Or resp ond t h e o ld -fa s h io n e d w a y : CALL THE

9 0 0 N U M BER.

Call 1-900-370-7127 $ l.9 9 /m ?n . m u st, b e 18+

january 10, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 53

m m m m

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don’t want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-8 00-710-8 727 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day! $ 1 .9 9 a minute, m ust be 1 8 + .

SWM LIKES METAPHYSICAL CONVERSAtions, alternative spiritual paths, music. Looking for someone who is creative and down to earth. 5384

GWM, 42 YO, 5’9”, 190 LBS., BL, BC. LOVing, looking for one-on-one’s, groups, fun times w/the right person. Will answer all. Take a shot, you will enjoy it. 5454

LOOKING FOR A MUSE? YOUNG MALE, 28, looking to be an inspiration for an amazing woman. Tell me what you want. I will com ply. Be for real. 5408

WANTED, 42+, F WHO IS EDUCATED, SOULful, sensual & somewhat balanced. From writer/artist/teacher & dog-lover type, what ever that means. No Quayle or Bush supporters, please. 5268______________________

CUTE SUBMISSIVE BEAR CUB, 34, 6’, 165 lbs. Dark-hair & eyes, trimmed beard, mus cular, discreet, masculine. ISO bears/cubs w/similar qualities for hot winter fun. Chittenden area. Call or write. 5449

CLEAN, ND, NS, SWPM, LATE 40S, ISO SIMIlar F or CU, 35-50, to share meals, compan ionship and adult fun. In excellent physical shape, willing to travel. Let’s share dinner and put our desires on the table. 5392

SWM, 35, 5 ’ 10", 180 LBS., ATHLETIC LIKES tennis, reading & weekend getaways. Seeking mature, attractive F for fun & possi ble LTR.5267

FAVORITE MEN: JUNG, JOSEPH CAMPBELL, Matthew Fox, Harry Hay, Will Roscoe, St. Francis, Black Elk, Chief Seattle, Hans Christian Anderson, Wilde, Dickens, Lewis Carroll, Buddha, Jesus, Rumi, Magritte & you. 5448

CU ISO BiF OR CU WBiF, 25-45 FOR EXOTIC fantasy fulfillment. Are you creative? Call us for your next fantasy encounter. 5390

ISO LTR W/ GUITAR PLAYING GIRL. SWM, 26, ISO SWF, 22-30, to jam with. Into rock, metal & the blues, plus various outdoor interests. 5264

m m Mokinq wum m ,cont 47 YO, HARRY ISO MY SALLY. SEEKING emotionally & spiritually fit, NS, small, quiet, homebody F to share walks, books, love, laughter, massage, nights, mornings, conver sation, food, wine & herself.5261 SPIRITUAL, LOVING, KIND, GENEROUS, SENsitive, open-minded, attractive, 52 YO HM musician, pet lover. ISO sane, pretty, lady, NS, ND, Plattsburgh/Burlington Area for LTR/marriage.5243 SWBIM, MID 30s, ATTRACTIVE, SENSUAL, caring & a very good listener. ISO a F who likes children & desires a good person to have laughs with & possibly a LTR. 5240 IF YOU CAN REMEMBER WHAT IT’S LIKE TO feel totally in love. This in-shape, good-look ing SWMP ISO similar SWF, 27-37, to make a real connection, intimacy, challenges, fun. 5236_____________________________________ SWM, 6’4, 31, ATHLETIC, NS, ND, ISO C-DAY party partner & LTR for outdoors adventures like hiking, caving,-climbing, travel, cooking, campfires. Even if you don’t answer: Peace & Happiness shall be with yo u .5164

women A sekin q wom en GWF, 31, ISO, 2 5 -37 YO, LIKES MUSIC, DANcing, movies, laughing, giving/receiving back rubs & more. We can be friends then maybe LTR in the future. You never know? Try! 5485 SINCERE, SPIRITUAL, PASSIONATE, WILD, creative, sexy, psychologically & physically fit, PBiF, early 40’s. Seeks, NS, F companion, 37-47. Let’s check out local art exhibits, xcountry s k i.2950 GWF RELOCATING TO VT. ISO STRONG, TALL, outgoing F. Must be independent & debtfree. Must love animals & me. Let’s be friends first. Ages 38-49.5406 SWF 31, ISO FRIENDS 25-40. MUST BE CARing, sensitive, & secure w/who they are. Trying to reconnect with the world! You won’t find a better friend than m e!5383 BIF, 20, NEW TO THE LIFESTYLE. NS, CHARismatic, laid-back, candle and astrology junkie. Seeking 20something SF, w/same interests, great conversations, friendship or more if comfortable. 5214

m m Aeekinq m m BB BOTTOM, 41, s’7”, 155 LBS. ISO VERSAtile, or exclusive BB top, relationship-orient ed. You don’t have to be out or discreet, just affectionate, heavy libido, avail. & comfortable with gay. 5481____________________

S &L M BUDDIES WANTED. GWM, 36, 6’, 180 lbs. Handsome rugged type craves hot times with dominate men, 20-40, who’ll use and punish me. 5430 CENTRAL VT, GWM, 41, 5 ’io ” BROWN 8. brown. Honest open-minded. Big chest & shoulders. Looking for Mr. Right. Need someone honest in my life. I’m caring, are you? Have nice country home and would like to share it. 25-41 YO, friends, maybe LTR.

5423_________________________ 23 Bi, INEXPERIENCED, TATS, HEAVY-SET, fun, dark hair, goatee. Likes movies, alterna tive music, art, hanging out. ISO M, 18-30 for friendship & maybe more. Gamers & freaks a plus. 5393 TIME FOR A CHANGE? WHY NOT? BiWM, 30, 6’, 185 lbs., fit, attractive, inexperienced. ISO same, 18-35, for fun. Nothing serious. Discretion a must. No mail. 5269 SM, 22, CUTE, FOR LTR OR MORE. MUST BE attractive, cute & young. Look forward to your reply.5259 SUBMISSIVE M WANTS TO PLEASE. ENJOYS dirty talk & likes to eat out. Can I please you ?5247

BOARD GAMING! LOOKING TO FIND OR make a group of regular gamers for my vast collection of board games. I have Germanstyle war games, party, family, dexterity & everything in between. 5385 ATTRACTIVE PCU, EARLY 40S, TO SHARE ongoing friendship & adult sensuality w/likeminded attractive CUs, pither individual or group socials possible. Privacy & intimacy assured. You’ll like us. 5381 TALL, ATHLETIC, ATTRACTIVE, 30S, SWM. Into adult pleasure. Maybe I can make your sexual fantasy a reality. Let me know your desires. Must be healthy & discreet.5245 MACU ISO F FOR FUN TOGETHER. F WHO would enjoy being w/both of us & also enjoys being outdoors, football, movies, etc. Sound like you? Please let us get to know

INCARCERATED, 39, NON-VIOLENT, SUBMISSIVE WM. Happiness is: dom inant, heavyset, wealthy woman, 30 -50 , to fem i nize me and teach me how to be the woman I crave to be.

Box 856

FOR HALLOWEEN 81 BEYOND... SWPM, 40s, cross-dresser, longtime. Genuinely fascinated student of the scene. ISO attractive, domi nant Fem(s) for safe & sane initiation into your world. “Aching” to be pleasing & amus ing. Clean & discreet, imperative. Have cos tume, will travel. 5220

MAGOO, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. L, MAYHEM ; 5487____________________________ ________ BOSTON TO BURLINGTON 12/27. YOU: Reading War & Peace. Me: Reading cheesy murder mystery. We: Shared cab from air port. Care to meet again? 5486

LOOKING FOR A STRAIGHT ACTING, HAIRY chested, muscular, hard working, type of guy for a little hot, discreet, private man to man contact. 2944

SEEKS OLDER WOMAN. SWM, 40’s, 6’, 190 lbs., good looking, intelligent, creative. Seeks older woman, 60+ for erotic encoun ters, LT friendship.2938

MIKE, YOU WERE THE “THIRD WHEEL” AT JP’s Pub. I was the blonde graduate student (Jennifer) that you played pool, with, 12/29. Wanna meet?5482

MID 30’s SMOOTHIE ISO RUGGED FIXERupper for value realignment, hang-up removal, equipment instruction and package delivery. Photo of tools a plus. 2940

MWCU, 30, ISO, 18-39, CU IN CENTRAL VT for friendship & much more. Her BBW, shaved. Him 165, shaved & pierced. Lets have some fun! 2934

MARIPOSA; TU ERES EL VIENTO QUE ME enciade mi fuego a bailar. Spanish Lady.

ADVENTUROUS CU ISO BiF WHO IS PLAYFUL, attractive, petite, 25-35, for safe, fun erotic relationship. Weekends in Montreal included. Must be discreet. 2927

WPM, 40, MARRIED TO AN ARTIST WHO IS married to her art. Seeking ‘friend with ben efits’. You; married or single, open-minded, too young to sit lamenting what you are missing, too old to play games. Please be in reasonable physical shape. 5480 THE SWEDISH BLONDES ARE BACK! SWEDish Skier to Swiss Misses; Have you seen my goggles? I lost them while “moving this.” HALP!5473_______________________________ WANTED: ARTISTS TO MEET WEEKLY TO share & encourage each other in a support ive group network. Call me. 5460 SWM, 30s, 5*4”, 140 LBS. ISO TWO SWF TO fulfill my fantasies. Must be in good shape.

5419_________________________ '

SUBMISSIVE M SEEKS DIRTY, NASTY, Daddy/Master who can be ripe & raunchy.

SWM, 40, EXPERIENCED. ISO SHY, QUIET, modest, intelligent, and cute student; my soul mate, my little girl. A shy one, to nur ture & guide, with care &. love. LTR possible.

2937

5415

5479_________________________ YOU: MOCHA BEAUTY SMOKING CIGARETTE outside Old Gold. Me; just a little squirrel looking for a nut. Be the cream in my cof fee? 5478

jjL i& i ftn im c L

SONG FOR WOMBATT: “I GOT SEVEN WOmen on my mind, 4 they wanna own me, 2 that wanna stone me, one says she’s a friend of mine. Take it easy.” 5477

SKI BUDDIES? SWPF, 36, LOOKING FOR strong downhill skier(s), to share snow, fun, chairlift chats and a ride to the slopes. Age, gender irrelevant. 5459

11/24, WATERFRONT VIDEO. YOU: SHANGHAI Triad Cinephile, sexy nose piercing, rented Titus. Me: “Porn Connoisseur”, rented Shanghai Triad, per your suggestion. Loved it. Wanna go see a movie? 5476

DWF, 44, ISO FEMALE FRIENDSHIP TO share golfing, biking, swimming, snowshoeing, skiing, movies, music, dinner, drinks & the ups & downs that come with living life. 5216

YOU: TALL, SHORT BROWN HAIR, W/AMAZing eyes from Champlain. ME: Girl from UVM who’s been crazy about you before last semester began. Movie maybe?5493 12/16 SATURDAY AUTO PARTS IN MIDDLEbury. Male w/mustache, gray Ford pickup, snowplow and bought a cylinder hone. Interested in discussing honing methods? I was the bearded guy by you. 5489

I SPY A NAUGHTY LITTLE FAIRY IN NEED OF some OTK!!!5468 LORD OF THE TRAILS-SNAP! I LOVE YOU more than the untamed wilderness. Yours, supreme goddess of the universe. 5465 HUNGER MTN. CO-OP, DEC. 13. YOU; adorable in flowery skirt w/black leggings, short hair, friendly, energetically open, assur ing me it was suitable to put crunchy almond butter in Hummus container. If you are unattached & would like to chat, please respond. 5474 SWEET BOY, CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER than the beautiful people? Please stand up, closer, I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you’ve got the key. Sunshine. 5472

; SATURDAY 12/16, ESSEX JCT. A&P; YOU, 40 (something attractive blonde F. Spied me in (checkout line w/fresh haircut, shaved face & ; blue jacket. Surprised? Would love to meet ; you. 5471 •JESS, WAITRESS AT SHA-NA-NA’S. WE MET ; in early Sept, on a Fri. night. I was the Navy (guy! I lost your cell phone number. Give me ; another shot? Still interested in going to : Cactus Pete’s? Call me. 5470 MAGOO-AHA! NOW YOU’RE READING THESE, aren’t you? Found a good woman yet?! I can’t even begin to describe how happy you make me. You’ve got me. I, L.5469 12/17/00-SUNDAY AFTERNOON AT DORSET •St. Friendly’s. Your Mom & I shared a laugh over the ketchup. I’d love to share some laughs w/you! Call me. 5464 : MONIQUA, I LOVE YOU 8. YOUR “BUG” TOO! I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Well, I (could but would never find one. Merry (Christmas. Love, Shaniqua.5457 12/16-SAT EVENING YOU: CAPTIVATING ( beauty, black hair, wearing long black coat (w/white flower lapel, long green dress, with ( two F friends. Me: behind you at coffee ( counter, we exchanged glances several (times. Your eyes were inviting, the situation 'was not. You left in a Ford Explorer. Are you ( available for coffee?5456 : YOU: LEATHER PANTS & HALTER TOP (W/TATtoo on your back, 12/9 at Millennium. (You were w/a friend. I was going to ask you (to dance, but missed out. Coffee?5455 ERIN, MAY WE TALK AGAIN? DAVID. 5453 USA ARTS MASQUERADE BALL. YOU ARE A (belly dancer. I’m sorry I didn’t get your num' ber. Please call! 2949 SQUIRREL LOVER, PRICE CHOPPER, 1/2. YOU (offered to let me go ahead. You were very (nice; I was too shy. I’d like to watch the (squirrels w/you someday.2946 (YOU: MY BRIGHT-EYED OFFICE GIRL. ME: (Your shy teddy bear. I cherish our special (friendship & our times together. Share the ( magic?2942

by eric orner

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green

Dum b W a it e r ,

and a $25 gift certificate to

you-5239 ____________________ WM, MID 20S, GOOD SHAPE, CLEAN ISO 40+ F, age, race, size, shape unimportant. Looking for older women that need their sexual fantasies fulfilled. Must be openminded, discreet & clean.5228

PCU SEEKS ATTRACTIVE F, 25-35, FOR Dis creet sexual fulfillment.2947

SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ENJOY MAKing a handsome, intelligent, independent man feel like a subjugated boy. Why can’t I find one who’ll do the same to me? I need discipline. 5488

used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

Dog Team Rd., M lddlebury 388-7651

LEANN, ALLIE, 81 JEN: THANKS FOR BEING my biggest supporters and most honest crit ics. Lunch at the Mill made me miss VT more than ever. Love you girls! KATE. 5483

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•Tire Outdoor Gear Exchange •

T H E D O G T E A M TA V ERN

SPGWM, 37, SEEKS COMMUNICATIVE GAY guy w/a life, friends & interests who wants someone to share them with and would like to share mine. 2951

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker’s Guide to VT from

G a sto n , a hit man for a Canadian drug cartel, is in Paris hunting for Etienne— who cheated the kingpins out of their profit on a big stash of crystal meth.

H is instructions are to murder Etienne, then chop him up and feed him to the little fishes in The Seine.

L a te r, at Club Banana, a waiter serves up a hot tip..

JVteanwhile, at the chateau of a rich & beautiful Brazilian soccer star outside the city:

D ead C h e f. H e makes the round of saunas, questioning the clientele.

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TIM, FROM NY WHO WORKS AT IBM AS A pipe liner. You tried to help me when I locked my keys in the car at the Mobile Station. I lost your address. 2941 LISA, YOU ARE A NURSE. I AM A MUSICIAN, We picked on the girls at Rasputin’s 10/27. Said you’d come see my band, but never did. Let’s have dinner. Steve. 2933 MELISSA AT BERLIN WAL MART. THE FIRST time we saw each other you ran & you blushed when we had eye contact. Been in several times to see you and to try to talk to you. Please contact me. I had on a red ski parka & wore glasses. You know who I am, I want to know you. 2932 JAY: I KNOW, I’M REALLY FAR AWAY. I ALSO know you probably don’t like me. But, I miss the foam, and we never watched Wayne’s World. If you don’t see this, I know ELK will. I guess I miss you, and I finally know what to say to you. 2930 ELLEN, MET YOU NEW YEARS EVE AT Rasputin’s. You: wearing tiger print skirt & w/a friend. Me: gave you the glowstick. Want to meet again?2929 AARON, I’VE HEARD THAT WHATEVER you’re doing during the first seconds of the New Year, you’ll do throughout the coming year. I hope that’s true for us. 2924 KATHERINE, RED SQUARE, NEW YEAR’S. Dancing near another was wonderful, for me at least. I want to know more about everything-Russian is fine.2923

SUNSHINE, I UNDERSTAND NOW. WHEN YOU look back I will always be there encouraging you to keep trying, you’re not alone. Take care of you. Always your angel and sodL mate.2922____________ __________ - ' ■ STEVE, WAKING UP W/YOU EVERY DAY gives me more joy than a Bette Midler song! Ruth D. couldn’t deny my love for you. Take me forward Sweet Cheeks! Greg. 2921 FAHC. TO THE BLONDE WITH THE EKG (?) machine. We’ve seen each other around work, smiled in the elevator. You give me an Ml. Lunch? 5429 BEAR/DEER SEASON HAS COME AND GONE. What a season it was. Now it’s time to take care of business till we can be together again. I love you, Sugarbush XO. 5426 ANTHONY I’VE LOVED YOU FOR SO LONG. You’ve changed my life! I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you and the kids too! love you-your girl. 5424_________________________ SHANNON, 10/24 OR 25, WE SHARED ONE dance at the end of the evening at RiRa’s. Your eyes sparkled, your smile made me speechless. I left into the night w/friends but never thanked you. May I, over coffee?5416 MY LADY GUINEVERE, YOU KNOW WHO YOU are. Your bubber can’t wait to be with you for the holidays! 5414 YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AT FINNIGAN’S bar. It’s like Christmas year ‘round. Since you I have found. It seems very clear, there's much to anticipate in the New Year! 5412

CASEY, (KASEY, KG) & BIZ. MET YOU WITH my “brother” at 3 Needs. Perhaps we could meet for G&T’s again, Andy 5409 MAGIC HAT PARTY. YOU WERE THE COWGIRL that went to H.S., I think you said CVU. I was the Viking with my friend the bee. I wanted to get your number, but didn’t see you again. If you would like to get together, look me up. 5403 TO THE FORMER NECI PASTRY-COUNTER maiden, studying Eng. Lit. at UVM. your smile beckons. I’m the red-coated occasional vagabond w/a penchant for languages. Let’s talk books! 5399 12/1/00. PRESS-REPUBLICAN PARKING LOT. You: Leaving in your tan car. Me: Standing next to my car watching you drive by. You smiled, I just stared. Let’s meet! 5398 THEY SAY YOU DON’T KNOW A GOOD THING ‘til it’s gone, but I’d have to say they are wrong. I love you so much cow. Let’s play outside and make glories! 5396 TO THE SPICY LADY WHO READS THIS PAGE First, I’m watching. Let’s get saucy on White Heron, and roam the streets. A toast to your wish. MW 5382

$i.9 9 /m in u te . m ust be 1 8 + .

KATE: WE MET A WHILE AGO AT RIRA’S. I got your gum as a consultation prize. Saw you holding a Donovan sign at elections. Can we meet again?5248

SEVEN DAYS

CRUSTINI, WHITE HERON, THREE BARS, AND a cat. Beaker needs a challenger, care to join me.5244 MUDDY WATERS, SAT. 11/25. YOU: RED hair, black sweater, teapot & journal. Me: man near you, blue sweater, laptop. Adverse to verbs & strangers. You?5242 TAD: UP ON THE MOUNTAIN SOMEWHERE you are, 3200 miles west I am. And missing your cynical perspective like crazy. Hello to Zeb as w ell.5238

melts in

FOOD GUY - YOU’VE TWISTED MY SPIRIT into a spinning kaleidoscope of vitality & faith, & I have enjoyed every moment. Feed me more! - Ice-cream girl. 5237 TALL GUY SEARCHING FOR AN ORGANICALLY inclined Alyssa with harmony. We first met at Merlefest in 1998. Haven’t seen enough of you since. Would you like to get dinner sometime?5233

in your hands.

STEPHANIE, I CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY mind. Good luck with Art & Psyche. Love to split a bottle of wine with you & talk. I hope you’re single.5270 I WAITED ON YOU & YOUR PARENTS. YOUR Mom had too much wine & couldn’t stop laughing. You came back later & we had a beer together. Meet again?526o

\l Jt t Jt f t h A To respond to Letters Oniy ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

wonien A&akinq man PSWF. MUSIC, ART, PHOTOGRAPHY, NATURE, poetry, laughter, cats. ISO NS, ND, NA, loyal, secure, honest, caring, sensitive, supportive, patient, M, 40-56. Friends first. Law enforce ment &/or “artistic" a +. Rut, area. Box 873. SWF, 30, ISO SWM, 25-53, WHO ENJOYS music, movies & dining. If interested please respond. Box 870.________________ ________ LOVING WOMAN, 60, WHO LOOKS & FEELS younger. ISO affectionate man to love & who will love me back. One who is a NS, affec tionate, health conscious, likes music. Box 855 SHINE YOUR LOVE LIGHTS ON ME. ARE YOU kind? Are you cool? Positive? Healthy? Love life? Got spirit? Savor every second? Breathe deep? Seek peace? Know thyself? Me too. Yupper. Box 854 23 YO GM TRAPPED IN A WOMAN’S BODY. ISO SM who will cum & open their Christmas present early. Includes hot candle wax, love oils & edible undies. Box 845 S W F - CARRIE, 38 YO, 5’4’, 110 LBS., LT. smoker from Montreal. Seeking guy with similar tastes. Love music, early Bowie, Iggy, 70’s, alternative, movies, animals, painting & making films. Box 842

MATURE SWF, NS, PRIVATE, PASSIONATE, pensive, political, perceptive, particular, Drawn to beaches, books, theater, music, labyrinths, fantasy and family. Please, don’t assume anything. Box 843_____________ VOLUPTUOUS VIRGO, 50S, ATTRACTIVE, PWF childless, loves outdoor fun, music, dancing. ISO gentleman for lasting friendship w/honesty & trust. Let’s bring in 2001 together! Burlington area. Box_828^ PRETTY PROFESSIONAL WITH A TWINKLE IN her eye, into painting, reading & aerobic dancing, is looking for a gentleman, 51-69, who’s intellectual, aware & loving— & can twinkle back! Box 830_____________________ SEEKING FRIENDSHIP CONVERSATION W/ gentleman,. 65+, tall, intelligent, caring. Me: tall, hazel eyes, slim, trim, education, retired P, active, NS. Box 831____________ ■ GROW OLD WITH ME. SWF, 57, SMOKER, ISO WM who likes auto racing, country music, camping, dining out & quiet times at home. Friends first. Write soon. Box 832___________ 23 YO, ATTRACTIVE SWF, WHO LOVES DANcing, sports, driving, cuddling & adventure. Sorry, country music not inct. ISO SM, 18-30 w/same interests & sense of humor. Box 8 27 IN SHAPE, UP BEAT, ATTRACTIVE DWF. SEEKing well-mannered, trustworthy gentleman, good appearane, NS, to share my life. 50-60. Not afraid of commitment. Please tell me aout yourself. Box 834 ____________________ ECLECTIC, IRREVERENT, INDEPENDENT ICONodast (well-preserved; 52) wishes to meet empathetic M (same; 45-55) w/social con science who values intellectual stimulation & mature emotional connection. Must like Thai food, no MSG! Box 826

HANDSOME M, 40, STRONG BUILD, s ’ i o " , 185 lbs. Friendly, gentle, outgoing but demanding schedule. Desires fit F for good friendship, discreet encounters. Youth age or Ma, no barrier. Honesty, security, closeness. Box 851________________________________

man M&ldnq woman SWM, 44, BLUE EYES W/SO MUCH MORE. Tired of the bar scene. Looking for a warm, gentle, understanding F willing to take that chance. Box 871___ __ _ SWM, 36, NS, LAID-BACK, INTELLIGENT, FIT, fun. Seeking similar, SF, for occasional x-c or snowshoe exploration. Could lead to hiking, canoeing, ping-pong, who knows? Plattsburgh or Burlington areas. Box 865_________ SWM, 47, BRN HAIR/EYES. I AM A LOYAL, honest, faithful gentleman. ISO a slim, sexy, loyal, faithful F who desires a best friend, lover, soulmate. Enjoys quiet nights, dining out. Send photo. Box 866._________________ SWM, 54, WRITER, MANAGER OF NON-PROF it tenants group. Doing intensive organiza tional work seeks F, any age, who can follow his lead for the long term, public & private. Box 867._________________________________ MWM SEEKS MF OR SF FOR DISCREET ENcounters, days/evenings. Age, looks, race unimportant, passion is. Let’s meet over a coffee. Box 872.__________________________ SM, 42, ARTISTIC, POETIC, ROMANTIC Southerner, 5’n ”, 200 lbs., in good shape. Enjoys camping, boating, fishing and dance. ISO open, honest, friendship first. Explore the depths of a labyrinth heart. Box 852 INCARCERATED NON-VIOLENT HANDSOME French Carribean. 32, 5’n ”, athletic physique Sexy chocolate complextion w/dreadlocks. Into Asian foods/beliefs, family, books & laughter. ISO NS, loyal, intelligent, goal ori ented SF. Photo please. Box 850

SWM, 52, 6’, 200 LBS., NS, ISO, SF, 40-55, active, fun, loves movies, quiet life. Box 835 LOOKING FOR ROMANTIC, PASSIONATE, companion. Me: PSWM, 61, tail, slim, NS, You: attractive, slim, free spirit, adventurous, assionate. Like travel & dining. Box 838 ABSOLUTELY FREE! MY HEART! DWM, YOUNG 38, smoker. Good looks/build. Seeks a slen der F, 28-44, who is outgoing, enjoys music, dancing, the outdoors & indoors, jomance, quiet times. Make us happen! Box 82 1 ____ MAPWM, 40, TALL, HANDSOME, IN SHAPE, well endowed. Seeks cute, bit on the side, 18-30, sexual. I’m generous. Send photo. Will consider all. LTR possible. Box 868.

woman M aking woman 28 YO SWF ISO 30+ SWF FOR FRIENDSHIP &. more. I’m looking for honesty, love and affection. We’ll take on the world together.. let the adventure begin! Box 849___________ WOODSWOMAN (N.CT. VT.), 49, SEEKS KINDred soul for dance of intimacy, led by kind hearts, step by step, to loving, celebrating & honoring our being together & apart. Let’s dance. Box 844

man M akinq man SGWM, ST. ALBANS-AREA, 5 ’ io ”, 230 LBS. sincere, quiet ISO SGM, 30-40S, honesty first. LTR only. I have much to offer, are you the one? D/D free, smoker OK. Box 848

ju & t p ik n o L SF, 50. LETS PUT TOGETHER A GROUP OF F & M who’d like to go dancing, to the movies or easy hiking. Expand the circle of friends. Box 8 6 4 . ___________________ PBGH./B’TON. - NOT: SLIM, GORGEOUS, degreed or wealthy, but a genuine good woman, 50s, musical, artistic, kink-friendly, NA, ND, NS, seeks a “like” male. Safe, sane, discreet, clean, possible LTR. Box 846

oihah BIM, 5 ’5 ”, 140 LBS. SAFE, CLEAN & D is creet. ISO Cu who would like a slave to toy with. S&M, B8iD, w/s OK. I take orders real well. Box 869.____________________________ INCARCERATED, 39, NON-VIOLENT, SUBMISsive WM. Happiness is: dominant, heavyset, wealthy woman, 30-50, to feminize me and teach me how to be the woman I crave to be. Box 856______________________________ MWM 40, ISO COUPLE FOR CLEAN, SAFE, intimate fun. Central to Northeast VT. Very discreet. Let’s trade letters. Box 853

4 digit box num bers can be contacted either through voice m ail or by letter. 3 digit box num bers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w / $ 5 to PO Box 116 4 , Burlington, V T 0 54 0 2. LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO

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