she tells me, “Oh Don, why don’t you call me someday, say around eight-ish or so?” I stayed awake seventy-two straight hours, and still couldn’t answer that question. I’ve always been excited about making lists and documenting mundane dates and times. In addition, I enjoy writing in a journal like a United States president, which by the way, is totally different from writing in a diary like a girl. Much of my documented information is frivolous. However, it helps me as a man to have a historically accurate record, because I’ve always interacted with women, and as everyone knows, they never forget anything. I must admit that I really don’t know why I document some things. For example, if someone tells me his or her birth date, I put it in my calendar and it stays there forever. Apparently, I once met someone named Teri Jorgenson. I don’t remember her, but every June third for the past forty years I’m reminded that it’s her birthday. Sometimes I hate that I’m compelled to journal because it often backfires. Case in point, I was on a first date with a fellow senior in high school. We were alone in a dark parking lot on a Friday night. We sat in the front seat of my dad’s Oldsmobile. The radio was playing romantic music. This gorgeous girl was leaning into my side. My arm was wrapped around her shoulders. I gently touched the tip of her nose and said, “Sherry, when I first met you in the ninth grade, you were wearing a red baseball cap, a white V-neck sweater, a gold necklace, blue stone-washed jeans, and a pair of white Converse All-Stars with red shoe laces.” I felt her body slightly tremble. She turned toward me with watery eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek. She brought her lips closer to mine. I smelled her apple lipgloss, and then she whispered, “Oh Don, you actually remembered what I wore that day?” And then for some stupid reason, I laughed. I said, “Remember? Oh, no, no! That was four long years ago. What am I, an elephant?” Then I explained to her that I had reviewed my ninth grade journal before our date. Our 30
4 P.M. COUNT