wellness} dear dru
The Truth About Change, By Dru Rafkin Jackman, ACC
I don’t know about you but when I hear the word “change” I get a little nervous and uncomfortable. My brain immediately starts churning out thoughts about how the change will affect me; I think about how hard it will be, what I might lose and if I have what it takes to get through it. I worked in the television industry before becoming a Certified Coach. For fifteen years I worked as a script supervisor where an integral part of my job was to keep track of any changes in the script. I made certain that everybody and every department was aware of all changes. I was on top of it and known for my ability to stay calm in the face of chaos. You’d think that after all that experience I must be the master of change. A new scene for the crew and actors just 20 minutes before filming before a live audience?! No problem,. How did I do it? What was my secret? Every time a set of revision pages arrived I would simply think, “Again?! Are you kidding me?! ” Ah, yes the face of calm confidence. Anyone doing research on the effects of change and stress on the body should have had a blood pressure cuff attached to me. Years later I saw that I might have enjoyed my job more and been happier if I had stopped to realize that this was not being done to me, but was simply part of the job. Like a lot of us, I fought change. These days I see similarities with my clients. We schedule our days, hold our breath and hope that things go smoothly. We pray that noth406
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ing gets in our way and that we will finally get ahead and be able to relax. I once gave a talk on “Mastering Change.” I asked the participants what their first response was to change and they said “frustrated…nervous…anxious”. One woman said she was instinctively excited by change. One out of 39. We need help and support in learning to face change. What if you were to discover that you could face change in ways that are easier on your body, mind and loved ones? What you know about change can save you from the unnecessary doubt, worry, fear and stress. Understanding the qualities of change makes it easier to show up as your best self no matter what the circumstances. Like anything new it takes practice. It’s a new way of thinking for a lot of us. To begin, there are a few things to know about change: · Change is inevitable, it always happens. Everything in and around us changes constantly: our health, our mood, our perception of time, our physical condition, the weather, relationships, political and economic climates, etc. · Change is unpredictable. We don’t get to know how, where or when. · There’s an inherent irony about change, we fear it and we crave it. · We all experience a natural and normal phenomenon of pushback or resistance in response to change. It’s how we are wired.
Now that you recognize the qualities of change, how might you respond the next time it comes along? Here are a few techniques to get you practicing: 1. Identify your natural stopping point in reaction to change. What’s the hardest part about change for you?
2. Know your strengths. In what ways are you helpful to other people who are having a difficult time? If you can show up as compassionate, attentive and loving with others, you can learn to do that for yourself. 3. Think about responding versus reacting. Practice pausing before you speak - take a breath and give yourself the time to respond. 4. Remember that successful people expect change. They use it as an opportunity to create something new. 5. Past experience does not have to be a predictor of future experience. You have a choice. The next time you find yourself reacting to change in a way you don’t like ask yourself, “How might ______ (a person I admire) respond to this?
Change is coming! How are you going to greet the revisions in your life? www.solutionsbydru.com