Page 1

SUMMER 2016

LIVING A LEGACY Meet Dee Dickinson STYLISH SENIOR LIVING

The Girls in the Boat Masters Rowing on Green Lake

BRAIN FITNESS Take Your Brain for a Spin

SOME THINGS GET BETTER WITH AGE Winetasting in Woodinville

A CAREGIVER’S GIFT Letting Others Help


At Garden Court, You’re in the Driver’s Seat. Garden Court understands how important your independence is. That’s why we’ve built a lifestyle community that keeps you in charge.

OPEN DINING HOURS Eat when you want with many options to choose from.*

ON DEMAND TRANSPORTATION Go where you want when you want!*

Call 425-438-9080 today to schedule lunch and a tour!

425.438.9080 RETIREMENT COMMUNITY Locally owned and operated since 2002.

520 112th Street SW Everett, WA 98204 gardencourtretirement.com *Some restrictions apply.


Only at Mirabella Seattle Stylish Senior Living

Living here means being surrounded by the best the city has to offer. Dine at one of our delicious restaurants, cruise Pike Place Market, catch a show at one of the city’s many arts venues, or simply take part in Mirabella’s busy activities calendar. No matter what you choose, you’ll experience vibrant urban living at its finest. Call today for a tour and find out how you can retire in the middle of it all.

206-254-1441

retirement.org/mirabellaseattle 116 Fairview Avenue North Seattle, WA 98109 Mirabella Seattle is a Pacific Retirement Services Community. Equal Housing Opportunity.


BURLINGTON BURLINGTON

EDMONDS EDMONDS

OAKOAK HARBOR HARBOR

360-715-1338 360-715-1338

360-755-7000 360-755-7000

425-744-1181 425-744-1181

360-279-2555 360-279-2555

BREMERTON BREMERTON

BURLINGTON BURLINGTON

EVERETT EVERETT

VANCOUVER VANCOUVER

BELLINGHAM BELLINGHAM

The The Bellingham Bellingham at Orchard at Orchard HomePlace HomePlace Special Special CareCare at Burlington at Burlington Edmonds Edmonds Landing Landing Memory Memory CareCare Memory Memory CareCare Assisted Assisted Living Living Thebellinghamatorchard.com Thebellinghamatorchard.com Homeplaceburlington.com Homeplaceburlington.com Edmondslanding.com Edmondslanding.com

HomePlace HomePlace Special Special CareCare at Oak at Oak Harbor Harbor Memory Memory CareCare Homeplaceoakharbor.com Homeplaceoakharbor.com

Bay Bay Pointe Pointe Where Where The The Heart Heart Is Is Retirement Retirement & Memory & Memory CareCare Assisted Assisted Living Living & Memory & Memory CareCare Baypointeretirement.com Baypointeretirement.com Whereheartis.com Whereheartis.com

The The Terrace Terrace at Beverly at Beverly LakeLake Clearwater Clearwater Springs Springs Memory Memory CareCare Assisted Assisted Living Living Theterraceatbeverlylake.com Theterraceatbeverlylake.com Clearwaterspringsseniorliving.com Clearwaterspringsseniorliving.com

360-373-9904 360-373-9904

425-249-9137 425-249-9137

360-755-8007 360-755-8007

360-546-3344 360-546-3344


contents FEATURES 10 A WOMAN’S WORK

Seattle’s Dee Dickinson is worth getting to know.

LIZ TAYLOR

16

THE GIRLS IN THE BOAT Women

rowers master the sport.

TERI THOMSON RANDALL

8 19

22

BUILDING MOMENTIA A new way for people with memory loss and their care partners to be together.

JULIE FANESLOW

34 A GOOD VINTAGE Woodinville winemakers follow their passion. SHANNON BORG

LIFESTYLE 19 MY THIRD ACT What aging looks like when you prioritize fun, fitness, family and friends. GARY DUVALL

26

26

16 34

ALL TOGETHER NOW Magic happens when children and older people share time together.

JULIE FANESLOW

40

TOP TRAVEL MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM Travel with

confidence with these tips. RICK STEVES

46 ON THE TOWN Misha’s favorite summer outdoor arts events. MISHA BERSON

ARTFUL AGING 6

TIME TO TALK Help with pressing questions on aging and transitions.

KELLIE MOELLER

8

AGING DELIBERATELY What is

successful aging? LIZ TAYLOR Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

3


more contents

WELLNESS

ARTFUL AGING (cont.)

Grab an oar or paddle and head for the water this summer. KYLE CIMINSKI

18

12

MYTHS ABOUT ESTATE PLANNING Why people don’t plan and

TRAINING FOR YOUR FUTURE

28

ENGAGING IN LIFE The secret to happiness is within. JANE MEYERS-BOWEN

why you should. JAY RIFFKIN AND WALTER IMPERT

37

14

living, dying, and grieving. ASHLEY BENEM

GIVING VOICE TO VALUES

37

Living like you mean it.

REBECCA CRICHTON

21

39

FOOD FOR THOUGHT Food for TAKE YOUR BRAIN FOR A SPIN

What you can do to enhance mental power.

JOYCE SHAFFER

JUST ASK Asking for help is giving

others a gift.

ALLAN AMENT

IN EVERY ISSUE

25 HONOR YOUR LIFE A familiar Seattle voice joins the conversation on aging.

42

JENNIFER JAMES

BOOK REVIEWS Informative reads on choosing a retirement community and combating ageism.

30

45

COMING ATTRACTIONS Our

48

BRAIN GAMES Have fun with these

A FACE APPEARED A little

compassion goes a long way.

picks for summer fun.

HOLLIS GIAMMATTEO

39

The cost of living keeps up. The costgoing of living

Letters

The cost of living living The costgoing of keeps up. keeps going up. keeps going up. The cost of

The cost of The cost cost of The of your funeral your funeral your funeral funeral your doesn’t haveto. to. doesn’t to. doesn’t have

First of all, welcome to the neighborhood! I really enjoyed your Spring 2016 issue. While I was happy to see the article It Takes a Village, unfortunately it failed to note the very robust Bellevue Village currently in development. Interested parties should contact the Eastside Neighbors Network – Bellevue Core at new.village. info@gmail.com or visit their website at tinyURL.com/ENN-BellevueCore.

doesn’t have to.

We offer morethan mind. offer more than peace peace mind. WeWe offer more peaceofofof mind. Pre-plan now your cost will be Pre-plan now and your cost will be be We offer more than peace of mind. Pre-plan now and your cost will lockedin. in. locked Pre-plan now and your cost will be locked in.

locked in.

WENDY PENDER Older Adults Project Specialist King County Library System

Mills & Mills

Mills Mills Park Funeral Home & & Memorial

Funeral Home & Memorial Park TumwaTer TumwaTer Mills & Mills Mills Mills Funeral Home & Memorial MillsandMillsFunerals.com Funeral Home MemorialPark Park MillsandMillsFunerals.com TumwaTer 360-357-7743 TumwaTer 360-357-7743

MillsandMillsFunerals.com MillsandMillsFunerals.com 5/17/16 360-357-7743 360-357-7743

M3822_7560_6315_MillsMills_PNT_Value_2-9x4-9_C.indd 1

M3822_7560_6315_MillsMills_PNT_Value_2-9x4-9_C.indd 1

4

|

M3822_7560_6315_MillsMills_PNT_Value_2-9x4-9_C.indd 1 3rd Act magazine summer

822_7560_6315_MillsMills_PNT_Value_2-9x4-9_C.indd 1

word puzzles.

10:40 AM

5/17/16 10:40 AM

20165/17/16

Congratulations on your “New Beginnings” Spring 2016 edition of 3rd Act Magazine! We were delighted to see Lifelong Learning featured on the cover and to learn about Era

10:40 AM

5/17/16 10:40 AM

Living’s partnership with the UW’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. Here on the Eastside, we are fortunate to have a 40-year history of diverse lifelong learning opportunities available through TELOS, Bellevue College’s Continuing Education program for retirees and active older adults. TELOS students also benefit from popular extracurricular lectures and social activities spearheaded by a dynamic organization of student volunteers. We hope that in future issues you will continue to feature these and other great learning opportunities for the 3rd Act in the Puget Sound. JOANNE GAINEN, CHRIS STEELE, AND EDIE HEPPLER Volunteer Committee Chairs TELOS Student Organization, Bellevue

www.3rdActMag.com


PUBLISHER’S MESSAGE

OU R VI SI ON We are a trusted resource to enlighten, to inspire, and to entertain our Boomer generation and elders; to replace the worn-out perceptions of aging with a dynamic new vision; to reimagine our senior lives. PU B LI SH E RS Victoria Starr Marshall David Marshall EDITOR Victoria Starr Marshall ASSOCIATE EDITOR Gretchen M. Krampf COPY EDITOR Julie Fanselow ART DIRECTOR Mara Doane WEBSITE Philip Krayna, Chris Boulanger, Gayle Fox ADVERTISING Victoria Starr Marshall DISTRIBUTION & CIRCULATION David Marshall CONTRI BUTI N G WRITE RS Allan Ament, Ashley T. Benem, Misha Berson, Shannon Borg, Kyle Ciminski, Rebecca Crichton, Gary Duvall, Julie Faneslow, Hollis Giammatteo, Jennifer James, Nancy Linde, Kellie Moeller, Teri Thomson Randall, Joyce Shaffer, Rick Steves, Liz Taylor COVE R PH OTOG R APHY Teri Thomson Randall WRITE TO US 3rd Act Magazine wants to hear from you! Email your comments, ideas, and questions to info@3rdActMag.com or mail to 81 Canal Lane, Brinnon, Washington 98320.

Aging with Confidence How do you feel about growing older? I turn 60 in a few weeks, and like so many people, I’m trying aging on for size. Who do I want to be in this next stage of life? How and where do I want to live? What are my fears? How can I age with confidence? Luckily, there are those with more experience at growing older who are willing to illuminate the path. “These are some of the very best years of my life,” a remarkable Dee Dickinson, 88, told me when I shared some of my trepidation. And as her story A Woman’s Work illustrates, she’s already had some pretty wonderful years. I met Girls in the Boat rowers Anne, Wendy, and Sue for our cover photo shoot. When a locked boathouse door meant a change in plans, we took the opportunity to stand by beautiful Green Lake and chat. No one was in a rush—a benefit of retired living—and these women (ages 68 to 71) modeled aging with confidence. They sparkled, laughed easily, and were encouraging in how it’s never too late to try something new. My rowing machine is on order. As our glorious Northwest summer reaches its peak, I realize that it’s simply wonderful to be alive. It’s “sweet, summertime, summertime” and the voice of Bob Seger fills me as I write these words. I was just 20 in 1976 when his song Night Moves was a hit. What’s your summer song? Where does your favorite music take you? That’s the question Seattle writer and cultural anthropologist Jennifer James asks in her new column, Honor Your Life. Music is an important contributor to intergenerational fun, as we learn in All Together Now, and it can also be therapeutic for people living with dementia. It’s no wonder, because music moves us, reminds us, delights us, and underscores our life. This issue of 3rd Act Magazine is full of good ideas on how and why we can age with confidence. The stories and wisdom of our contributors have certainly boosted my confidence about aging, and I am confident they will boost yours too. Enjoy!

3rd Act Magazine is published quarterly by Oshi Publishing, LLC. The opinions, advice or statements expressed by contributing writers do not reflect those of the editors, the publisher or of 3rd Act Magazine. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without prior consent of the publisher. It is your responsibility to evaluate the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information, opinion, advice or other content contained herein. Oshi Publishing, LLC makes no representation and, to the fullest extent allowed by law, disclaims all warranties, expressed or implied. The content published herein may include inaccuracies or typographical errors. Copyright 2016 Oshi Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. Oshi Publishing, LLC 81 Canal Lane Brinnon, WA 98320 360-796-4837 Email: info@3rdActMag.com For subscriptions and additional information, see us online at www.3rdActMag.com.

Aging with Confidence

3rd Act Magazine publisher Victoria Starr Marshall (second from left) with master rowers and cover girls Anne Martin (left), Wendy Caldwell (center), and Sue Harper (right), at our cover shoot in May.

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

5


time to talk BY KELLIE MOELLER

S

ummer is the season of travel and explorations. As we age, our bodies may change, but our sense of adventure does not. There are travel options for people at every age, fitness, and mobility level. To help you step out this season and make memories, let’s talk about travel.

Kellie Moeller has worked in the senior housing industry in the Northwest for more than a decade. With an insider’s view and a passion for serving seniors, she gives a fresh perspective on aging. Email your questions to TimetoTalk@3rdAct Magazine.com or mail your questions to Time to Talk, 3rd Act Magazine, 81 Canal Lane, Brinnon,WA 98320.

My mother loved to travel the world when she was younger. I am caring for her at home, and she needs more help now, but I would love to plan an international trip that both of us can enjoy together. What do we need to know before we go? Taking time to make memories together doesn’t have to be stressful for either of you. Here is a checklist that will help you navigate an adventure abroad together: Plan a trip that is appropriate to her fitness level P and mobility. P Use airport transfer services to and from the gate. It minimizes stress and saves energy for both of you. P Hire drivers at your destination who will pick you up and drop you off at curbside to eliminate extensive walking. P Choose hotels with elevators, air conditioning, in-house restaurants, and wheelchair services. P Use a wheelchair for longer distances, if needed, to help your mom conserve energy and be able to participate in more activities. A P walker can be a big help since it also gives Mom a place to sit if you have to stand in line or rest while touring. Finally, pack lots of patience. Plan fewer outings than you might with a younger person, but prepare to enjoy them fully. Savor each moment together and relax. We recently moved to Seattle. What are some of the best “must-see” destinations for people with special mobility needs? Seattle is a beautiful city to discover! If I had to pick one place that has the most wheelchair accessible attractions, it is the Seattle Center, where you’ll find the EMP Museum, packed with displays on music and pop culture; Chihuly Garden and Glass;

the Space Needle; Pacific Science Center; and the Armory food court in one location. For other great wheelchair accessible attractions all around the United States, check out wheelchairjimmy.com. My husband and I love to travel, but it’s not as easy as it used to be. Even some cruises require a hefty amount of walking. Do you have any suggestions for vacations that don’t require a high level of fitness? Travel is a great way to expand your boundaries, both physically and emotionally. Aging should never limit your adventures. Here are some tips to help you plan a great time away: P Research. Pick tours according to accessibility. Think through each activity in light of the time and energy it requires. How much walking must you do? Are there choices like scooters, people to help with heavy luggage, and easy access to restaurants? P Plan tours with transportation options. Whether by motor scooter, bus, Uber, or a rickshaw, minimize walking and maximize ride options for your outings. P Pack light. You may have to carry everything you bring, so choose smaller and lighter items. Coordinate your wardrobe to transition easily between daytime and evening events. Pay special attention to comfortable shoes. Do P something new. By expanding your boundaries and doing something you have never done before, you will make the trip memorable. It’s even better if you can share the experience with friends who can also help along the way. For the trip of a lifetime, my favorite Seattle-based adventure company is Expedition Trips. Whether you visit the Galapagos, the Alaska Inside Passage, or stay local with a Columbia and Snake River cruise, you will experience an exciting adventure without the physical trials. Visit them at expeditiontrips.com.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” —MARK TWAIN

6

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


Living Life at Green Lake In all of Seattle, there is no neighborhood quite like Green Lake, and no retirement lifestyle quite like the Hearthstone’s. The Hearthstone is a nonprofit Life Plan Community for people who love life and appreciate the freedom it affords. With our 50-year history of serving families in Seattle, we offer peace of mind for the future so you can fully engage in life and enjoy what matters to you the most. Contact us today for more information and to schedule your personal tour. 206.517.2216

www.villagecove.org Village Cove is a new addition to our independent living option. With its 28 deluxe condostyle apartments, you can enjoy a lifestyle that fits the vibrant and family-friendly neighborhood of Green Lake.

6720 E Green Lake Way N, Seattle, WA 98103 206.517.2216 www.hearthstone.org


n

AGING DELIBERATELY

Aging Successfully Requires

Vigilance BY LIZ TAYLOR

Liz Taylor, an eldercare specialist for 40 years, lives in the San Juan Islands, where she is semi-retired. She wrote a popular column on aging for The Seattle Times for 14 years, and has consulted with thousands of older adults and their families. Liz can be reached at lizt@ agingdeliberately.com.

8

Experts tell us that successful aging—aging with a high quality of life—involves good luck, good genes, and good habits. We don’t have much control over the first two, but there’s plenty we can do by focusing on the third. Attitude is a major component of healthy aging. I’m not talking about being constantly sunny—or cranky, for that matter, which some people are. Rather, your attitude is a mix of realism, patience, and good coping skills gleaned from experiencing a multitude of ups and downs throughout life. Learning to make lemonade from lemons is healthier for our physical and mental well being than anger, passivity, or depression. Why is attitude important? Research shows that long-term negative emotions are actual risk factors for heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, digestive problems, and other conditions that can reduce our independence and shorten our lives. Strong social supports—having people to talk to, laugh with, trust, care about, care for us, and confide in—actually protect us from physical and

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

psychological harm. People need people, particularly in old age. We’re much more likely to attract family and friends to our sides with a good attitude than if they respond through gritted teeth. Good nutrition is another ingredient for successful aging. Sadly, many people become malnourished in old age. Some are too poor to buy healthy food, but many people stop making the effort to buy, prepare, and eat healthful meals and drink plenty of water. Just as a car won’t go without gas, humans need the fuel of good nutrition and water to keep our brains sharp and our bodies functioning. And just as a car can break down after neglect, slowly forgetting good dietary habits can bring on a gradual, subtle decline. So it’s important to stay vigilant. Functional loss is assumed by many to be a natural outcome of aging. But being short of breath, having mushy muscles, and getting out of a chair like a rusty old hinge are usually the signs of a sedentary, couch potato life. And like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet, things get worse over time. That’s why exercise is the centerpiece of healthy aging. There’s no substitute for keeping your muscles—and heart and lungs—actively, purposefully moving to help dodge the bullets of mental and physical decline. Working around your home and yard is good, but it’s rarely enough. I recommend developing a regular exercise regime that you like to do for at least a half hour several times a week. (Daily exercise is best.) And it’s never too late to start: Research shows that even seriously impaired people in their 90s can become stronger and function better through routine physical activity. Want more advice on healthy aging habits? You might take it from the nuns: Aging with Grace: What the Nun Study Teaches Us About Leading Longer, Healthier, and More Meaningful Lives by David Snowdon is one book I like. Another is Successful Aging by John W. Rowe and Robert L. Kahn. Here’s to your good health at every age. www.3rdActMag.com


Get closer to what matters most.

Whatever your passion, Era Living offers eight unique retirement communities designed to bring you closer to everything you love. Aljoya Mercer Island (206) 230-0150

Aljoya Thornton Place (206) 306-7920

The Lakeshore South Seattle (206) 772-1200

The Gardens at Town Square Downtown Bellevue (425) 688-1900

Ida Culver House Broadview (206) 361-1989 *

University House Issaquah (425) 557-4200

Ida Culver House Ravenna (206) 523-7315 *

University House Wallingford (206) 545-8400

Call today for a personal visit, or view video testimonials and more at eraliving.com

*Proudly affiliated with

Over two decades of proud affiliation with


A WOMAN’S WORK Living a Legacy of Art, Teaching, and Innovation BY LIZ TAYLOR

L

ooking back on a lifetime of achievements, Dee Dickinson can easily name her most important early influences. Her mother was one, of course, and so was Marjorie Livengood, her teacher (and later principal) at the Bush School in Seattle. “I think she understood my abilities better than I did,” she says. Livengood would often “put me on a high dive and ask me to jump.” More often than not, Dickinson took the dare—and at 88, this education innovator has dived into dozens of major projects that she never dreamed she would and found great depths of success along the way. Aside from good mentors, Dickinson’s journey is animated by a strong spirit of curiosity. Her interests are wide: the arts, theater, languages, literature, new concepts in education and learning, technology, and innovation. And now, later in life, this Seattle resident is exploring how to keep well in old age. “I was thinking about how the large tapestry that hangs in my apartment, called The Tree of Life, is such an apt symbol of my own life,” she shares. “I continue to learn and grow, and feel in touch with higher powers of light, love, and energy that seem to provide what I need in unexpected ways. Like my Tree of Life, I feel deeply rooted and connected to the people I love and the organizations I belong to and support.” Dickinson began her career in the 1950s, when she taught school at Bush. With Livengood’s encouragement, she incorporated the arts and creative

10

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

dramatics into everything she taught. It was fun for her—and for her students. But it also was a time of severe cuts to arts programs in the public schools. In 1953, Dickinson was invited to join the

Junior League of Seattle and was asked to direct the Seattle Creative Activities Center, an after-school program for children. Later, she also directed the Junior League’s Children’s Theater, touring housing projects in Seattle. In 1959, she began the Junior League’s Northwest Art Project that, with trained docents, toured the public schools with original works of art by great Northwest artists. “We began with seven major paintings,” she says, and “the collection has now grown to 75 works of art in a variety of medias. Last year we reached over 25,000 children and teachers in 39 schools with 50 trained docents.”

Dee Dickinson, founder of New Horizons for Learning, reflects on the symbology of her "Tree of Life" tapestry.

www.3rdActMag.com


Dickinson has always been especially passionate about finding new ways to teach and help students learn. In the late 1970s, after retiring from teaching, she was asked to chair an advisory board to make recommendations on how to raise academic achievements in the Seattle Public Schools. It was a time of breakthroughs in new research from the neurosciences, the cognitive sciences, studies in human development, and accelerated techniques involving the arts. To reach more teachers and school administrators, Dickinson and two colleagues founded New Horizons for Learning, a Seattle nonprofit

Aging with Confidence

educational network. They began with small workshops and published a newsletter that, by the second year, had a national circulation. (By the third year, it had gone global.) Next came larger workshops at the Seattle Center, then international conferences on transforming educational systems locally and nationally. New Horizons had found its role: giving visibility to effective teaching and learning practices and ideas that have not yet reached the mainstream. By the early ’90s, the Internet was emerging. One day, as Dickinson and her colleagues were trying to figure out how to further broaden their audience, two fellows from Seattle software company Aldus called, offering to help turn New Horizons’ database of learning innovations into a website. When Dickinson retired in 2006, the New Horizons for Learning website was receiving 9 million hits a month. It’s now hosted by Johns Hopkins University, where it continues to grow and develop with new technologies. Dickinson’s husband, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, died nine years ago. She remains close to her three children and two grandchildren and sees them often. “They are all explorers and innovators and have traveled extensively in their work and recreation,” she says. “All of us together plan how we can best contribute to and support the environment, education, and other important causes.” Two years after her husband died, Dickinson moved into Mirabella Seattle, a retirement residence they had chosen before it was built, and where the Tree of Life now hangs. She loves being able to spend her older years living among interesting, friendly people, as well as enjoying numerous kinds of physical exercise and activities, and nutritious, healthy food. She serves as a volunteer, and every Sunday afternoon she teaches French to a young student.

Dee chats with friends in Mirabella's courtyard.

“As I grow older, life continues to become more interesting and I want to keep healthy to enjoy it,” she says. And ever the teacher, she also wants to share what she’s learned, so she wrote an excellent booklet, Options of Wellness, with information on how to keep healthy mentally, physically, emotionally, vocationally, and socially. As she writes in its pages, “The French hold an inspiring view of our time of life. They think of le troisieme age as a period of full flowering years built on a lifetime of experience that may have led to our making wiser decisions, dealing better with complexity, giving back to society from what we have gleaned, and in the process maintaining greater equanimity and a keen sense of humor.” Dee Dickinson understands deeply the wisdom of a little Chinese aphorism that goes, “Everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention.” And she’s doing just that as her own tree of life continues to branch out toward new horizons and new adventures. summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

11


MYTHS ABOUT

BY WALTER Q. IMPERT AND JAY A. RIFFKIN, DORSEY & WHITNEY LLP

As estate planners, we help our clients understand the need to have thoughtful and ongoing discussions about estate planning, the orderly transfer of wealth, and decision making authority during one’s life and at death. A basic estate plan includes a will, a durable general power of attorney form, and a healthcare power of attorney document. But most Americans don’t even have a will. Let’s look at three popular myths that prevent people from adopting estate plans: cost, control, and complexity.

Jay Riffkin (top) is an associate in Dorsey & Whitney’s Tax, Trusts, and Estates practice group. He helps clients through all stages of estate planning. Walter Impert is a partner in Dorsey & Whitney’s Tax, Trusts, and Estates practice group, and he focuses on all aspects of wealth management, including estate planning.

12

Myth 1: Cost – It’s too expensive When perceived cost is the major concern, people often turn to do-ityourself online legal forms, which are often problematic. We have seen many examples of estate planning documents completed online—even ones that are supposed to be Washington-state specific—with serious errors or missed planning opportunities. For example, you may want to leave special gifts to individuals or make charitable gifts that are not covered by online forms. Effective planning usually requires customization. To prevent errors and costly omissions, it’s best to hire a reputable estate planning lawyer. You can find qualified attorneys online or through referrals from CPAs, investment advisers, family, or friends. Many lawyers will waive their fee for the initial meeting, since that meeting is an opportunity for you and the lawyer to vet each other. To establish expectations, request a fee estimate. Many lawyers will prepare estate planning documents for a reasonable flat fee.

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

The cost of not having an estate plan is usually much higher than the legal fees spent to create a plan. Those costs can include guardianship proceedings, fights among children over control or division of assets, and taxes that might have otherwise been avoided.

Myth 2: Complexity – It’s too difficult People often imagine that estate planning is so time consuming and complex that they need a law degree to understand the process. But a reputable estate planner will explain each aspect of estate planning up front; provide readable estate planning documents; and even send an explanatory letter, outline, or flowchart for your easy reference. Myth 3: Control – Loss of autonomy Some people believe that signing basic estate planning documents amounts to handing control of your assets over to someone else. However, adopting a basic estate plan doesn’t mean losing control. In fact, you’re more likely to lose autonomy from a lack of estate planning, such as when a court appoints someone you have not personally selected to control your wealth. A reputable estate planner will dispel these myths and put you at ease by drafting understandable documents and explaining how they help preserve your autonomy. The many benefits include peace of mind, protection during incapacity, and an orderly transition of wealth. It’s time to move past the myths and understand what estate planning can do for you and your family.

Other Common Myths About Estate Planning Myth: Estate planning is only for the very wealthy. Reality: Everyone should have at least a basic estate plan to protect family and minimize expense and taxes. Myth: It will take too much time. Reality: With good legal counsel, it doesn’t take much time to put together a basic estate plan to accomplish your primary aims. Myth: I will lose flexibility to make changes later on. Reality: Basic estate planning documents can be changed any time before death, as long as you are competent to make changes. Myth: I will have to make difficult decisions. Reality: Estate planning does call for decisions, but it is far easier to make tough decisions in advance, rather than in a crisis. If you do not make the decisions, the court will do it for you. Myth: I shouldn’t start until I know what I want to do. Reality: Good legal counsel will focus you on the right questions and help you decide what makes sense for you. www.3rdActMag.com


Since 1958

See What Everyone’s Talking About! Our “rejuvenation” is complete and it’s the talk of the town! Come by for a visit soon to see our beautiful new look and feel. Let us show you why we’re the new leader in Eastside senior living.

Madison House

Independent & Assisted Living Community A Koelsch Senior Community

(425) 821-8210 12215 NE 128th Street, Kirkland www.madisonhouseretirement.com

Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

13


What Has Meaning To YOU? BY REBECCA CRICHTON

I Rebecca Crichton is executive director of Northwest Center for Creative Aging and presents programs on that topic in the Seattle area. She worked at Boeing for 21 years as a writer, curriculum designer, and leadership development coach. She has master’s degrees in child development and organizational development, and she is a certified coach.

14

am a fool for meaning and learning, drawn to activities and situations where people’s values are acknowledged and learning is embedded in the experience. In one life chapter, I officiated at weddings, learning how to create ceremonies of commitment where couples could share what they found most important. In other chapters, as a hospice volunteer and later a facilitator of grief support groups, I learned how necessary it is to grieve losses, and how resilient and brave people can be in the face of tragedy. My current chapter allows me to explore concepts related to happiness and positive aging and facilitate conversations about life purpose and discovery as we age. Lifelong learning and a sense of purpose and meaning are critical elements to well-being as we mature. The real challenge is to discover what has meaning for us as individuals. One of the ways we connect with other people is through discovering what we have in common: political affiliations, team loyalty, favorite foods. Those are easy to feel good about. But by digging deeper, we discover the differences that make things more interesting. We are all on a spectrum that stretches between the ways we are unique and individual and how much we share in common with each other. Big concepts are just

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

containers that we need to fill with our own content. Through my organization, Northwest Center for Creative Aging, I use open-ended questions to help people discover their own values and their unique stories. What do you value in the world? What is important to you? What legacy do you want to leave behind—beyond the things you have accumulated? And what would others close to you say are the attributes, strengths, and quirks they love about you? What do they value about you? Perhaps you have had an uncomfortable conversation with your children where you blithely say something about who you think you are and they laugh and give examples that demonstrate the opposite. My daughter does that regularly when I say I am not controlling and not as “quirky” as some of my family and friends. I can’t deny her examples, and I have had to accept that her experience of me contradicts my “story.” If we are paying attention, we are constantly reminded that there are many ways of seeing and being. Our job is to find the elements of meaning that work for us. For me, the list includes family, friends, community, creativity, spirituality, learning, and vitality. Think about your list, then be intentional about using these elements of meaning to give voice to your values. www.3rdActMag.com


The Girls in the Boat Why Women Love This Sport for All Ages WRITTEN AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY TERI THOMSON RANDALL

Sue Harper, 70, carries her boat with her team after competing in a women’s quadruple sculling event at a regatta this March.

P

Teri Thomson Randall is a journalist, photographer, and filmmaker residing in Seattle. Her writing experience spans the arts and sciences, including staff writing positions at the Journal of the American Medical Association and Pasatiempo, the weekly arts magazine of the Santa Fe New Mexican. She holds graduate degrees in microbiology, science communication, and film production, and is proud to row with Green Lake Masters Crew.

16

erhaps you’ve watched a team of rowers glide their slender craft across the water—in harmony with each other, their boat, the water, and the sky—and maybe you’ve felt a twinge of envy. Good news: You are never too old to row, and you couldn’t live in a better place than the Pacific Northwest to learn the sport. Dozens of rowing clubs in the Puget Sound region offer masters rowing programs. (Masters means they’re for adults, rather than younger rowers.) Visit any one of them and you’ll meet women in their 60s, 70s, and beyond—many who had never before pursued athletics—who are enjoying newfound physical strength, flexibility, and balance, as well as mental, emotional, and social benefits both on and off the water. “It’s a sport that women of any age can excel at,” says Wendy Caldwell, a retired media director who started rowing on Green Lake 13 years ago at the age of 58 after seeing the transformational effect it had on her son, who was in high school at the time. “As we get older, we are looking for sports in which

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

we can feel confident and competent. And since rowing is a sport for all ages, it fits in nicely.” Rowing is easy on the joints, it’s a terrific cardiovascular workout, and it engages every major muscle group in the body. It’s a misconception that rowing requires tremendous upper body strength. About 60 percent of the power comes from the legs, with another 20 percent from the core. And strength is only part of the equation: The sport also requires cooperation, timing, mental stamina, and technique—all skills that women do well, and ones that often improve with age. Caldwell recently read a story written by a young rower regarding his experience in the prestigious Head of the Charles Regatta, a 3-mile race held each fall on the Charles River in Boston. Noting an obvious age difference of several decades between himself and the rower ahead of him, he assumed he’d overtake his senior competitor in no time. In fact, he never did. “He was counting on power over technique,” Caldwell says. “But technique always gives the advantage. It just does.” www.3rdActMag.com


In her early 20s, Martin studied for Sue Harper, 70, learned three years in Japan under a master to row just six years ago. potter. It took her a long time to Like all women of her relinquish her Western ideas about generation, she completed self-expression and to surrender to the her high school and practice, to the teaching. “I learned college education how long it takes, and how much before federal Title IX persistence it takes, to surrender the legislation expanded ego, to surrender to the craft, to achieve athletic opportunities competence,” she notes. “That has served for women in the midme well in life and in sculling.” 1970s. Athletics had not Matsuo Basho, the 17th century been part of her life, haiku poet, once wrote that in order to and rowing was the first paint bamboo, you must first look at strenuous, competitive Anne Martin, 68, prepares to row her single scull on Green Lake. the bamboo (create), then you become sport she ever pursued. bamboo (understand), and finally you rowed before sunrise. “Rowing in the But last year, Harper ranked number forget the bamboo (assimilate). Martin wine-dark lake, under a velvet sky, had two in the world in her age group for the recalls her pottery sensei saying that its own kind of beauty, stillness, and 1000-meter sprint on the indoor rower. each stage takes roughly 20 years, so she quiet,” she says. It’s no surprise she reports being in reckons she still has a long way to go. Despite the many dozens of medals the best physical shape of her life. But for “I should be so lucky to become the Martin, Harper, and Caldwell have Harper, who is a life coach and spiritual boat and the water and the sky,” Martin director, the sport brings far more than a won in regattas over the years (masters says. “But I’m only in my 28th year. strenuous workout. It is also “a meditation, rowing events are age-handicapped), Check in with me in another 12.” a spiritual discipline, a practice of letting none considers herself a “master” in the literal sense of the word, not go of thoughts that aren’t relevant to the Several dozen rowing clubs in the even Martin, who has been rowing task, of breaking the habit of obsessive Puget Sound region offer programs thinking. Your mind isn’t cluttered when for 28 years. Rather, they remain ever for masters. For a low-cost option, try challenged by the sport. “One of the you’re rowing,” she said. the programs offered by Seattle Parks For Anne Martin, 68, rowing provides things I love about sculling is the elusive and Recreation—at Green Lake and serenity, simplicity, and solitude, which she difficulty of it,” Martin says. “There is Mt. Baker—where you’ll find excellent coaching and equipment. enjoys in a “single,” a one-person sculling always growth.” boat with two oars. During her long career teaching sociology at Edmonds Community College, rowing helped balance the extroverted requirements of her work. “I love being on the water, the open air, seeing the ospreys, the eagles and the coots,” she recalls. “The early morning rows, whether in the light or the dark, were a touchstone in the day, a way to keep some stillness in my pocket.” In winter, she and her The Windemere Cup Regatta is held on Seattle’s Opening Day of Boating Season in May. In the Women’s 8+ 50+ event, fellow rowers attached shown, each boat is propelled by eight women with an average age of 50 or older, with a coxswain in the stern. Teams from Russia, Stanford University, Cambridge University, and the University of San Diego competed in this prestigious regatta. lights to their boats and Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

17


n

FITNESS

Summer Fun on the Water BY KYLE CIMINSKI

W

Kyle Ciminski is a personal trainer at Fidalgo Pool & Fitness Center in Anacortes. He holds more than 30 training certifications, and his specialties include injury recovery and training active seniors.

18

ashington’s ample coastlines and lakes make water activity an attractive pastime for locals and out-of-towners alike. Rowing, kayaking, and paddle boarding continue to grow in popularity and accessibility. Taking steps to train before you hit the water will help you enjoy your activities without injury or fatigue. Rowers find that proper form makes the difference between back pain and a day of fun. A rowing machine at the gym will allow you to practice your form and tempo before you get out on the water. Keeping your back straight while sitting on the rowing machine, begin by leaning toward the front of the machine. Tuck your knees toward your chest, push your legs down toward the machine, and pull back. Take your time to establish technique. I highly recommend asking a fitness professional to assess your rowing form. That way, you can avoid developing bad habits. Continued rowing workouts will improve your form and cardiovascular endurance so you can keep up on longer rows, whether by yourself or with the team. Kayaking has exploded in the Northwest, and with good reason: Kayaks’ portability and ease of use make them an excellent option for beginners and experts alike. Shoulder pain is the bane of many new kayakers, but proper paddle handling will prevent injury and muscle fatigue. Hold the paddle in front of your body in line with your shoulders. Your elbows should both be bent at a 90-degree angle, which will prevent shoulder inflammation. Alternate pulling the paddle to either side of your body while maintaining a straight back, and don’t allow your elbow to pass your torso. I recommend that all kayakers take a water safety course, especially if you plan to kayak in the open waters of Puget Sound.

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

Paddle boarding has been migrating from Hawaii to the Great Northwest. Many people have embraced paddle boarding as a scenic way to practice yoga on the water. Traditionally preformed standing, paddle boarding requires strong core muscles and balance. To prepare for your first paddle boarding session, practice standing on a BOSU (a brand of balance trainer) or similar balancing board. This helps your body adapt to instability. Use a long dowel or PVC pipe to mimic the paddle movement on either side of your body. To replicate the resistance of a paddle in the water, I suggest using a Rip Trainer, a product from TRX used to develop rotation strength. A metal stick attached to a heavy duty stretch cord, it can be attached to a base support for portable strength and endurance training. Use the same technique that you practiced with the dowel to practice for paddle boarding. This unique device can be used to train for both rowing and kayaking alike. Summertime boating activities can be an excellent workout, especially if you prepare by planning ahead in the gym. In addition, I recommend a water safety course to help you handle any problems that you may have on the water. Ask about classes at your local swimming pool, and get ready for a great summer.

www.3rdActMag.com


MY THIRD ACT

Go For Your Goals BY GARY R. DUVALL

G

oals are good. When I coached various sports for my four kids, I set a team goal of “fun, fitness, and friends.” We have goals most of our lives: graduating, getting a job, marrying, having kids, sending the kids to college, and retiring. But at some point, often when people retire, they stop setting goals—or their mid-70s. they choose a vague one, like “to travel.” I’ve I try new seen some of my contemporaries do this and things whenever I can. This become unhappy with their lives. Continuing to set goals has kept me focused spring, on our annual trip to Arizona, my wife and I joined a and balanced into my 60s. I set a fitness goal each year, usually focused on at least one event. bird-watching group tour at a nature reserve. I was the only one without I climbed Mt. Rainier when I turned 40, did a binoculars and a notebook half Ironman triathlon to record sightings. After Act a little older when in my 50’s, and rode my bike across the United you are young, and a little three hours, the tour was States as a fundraiser younger when you are old. nearly over and the others had 10 to 20 sightings each. when I turned 60. I often involve family and friends, too. For example, last Determined to make my first sighting, year I ski toured on the Haute Route across the I spotted a large soaring bird far away over a cliff. I called out “eagle,” and the Alps with my son, a friend, and his daughter. group was all aflutter. This summer, I will be doing the RSVP (Ride One of the experts studied it from Seattle to Vancouver and Party) with carefully through his binoculars, three of my adult children and their friends. My father used to say “act a little older when paused, and said rather disdainfully, “common raven.” Collective letdown. you are young, and a little younger when you But later I was partially vindicated at are old.” I try to keep a group of active and the reserve headquarters when I got my positive friends of all ages, and with a variety name on the board for the first common of interests. Our family is close and I spend a lot of time with people in their 20s and 30s. Yet raven sighting of the year! The next day, two of my good skiing and biking friends are in at another bird refuge, I successfully

Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

19

n


Gary Duvall works part time as a franchise lawyer, frequently provides care for three grandchildren, and is becoming more fluent in French. Vive les vieux! (Old guys rock!) To see how and why he raised $10,000 for Crohn’s and colitis disease, see garyduvall.blogspot.com.

20

identified a blue heron at a distance, to the collective mirth of the birders around me, one of whom informed me that it was in fact a metal sculpture of a blue heron. I have a long way to go as a birder. There are things that I can’t do any more, but I substitute. Running hurts my knees, so I bike; a deep-water start for water skiing is too stressful on one ski, so I start with two skis and drop one; I snow ski but avoid jumping. I stretch and do core work daily to keep multiple strains and aches at bay. I have been to physical therapy so many times I could get an honorary degree. In my 20s, it was basketball, soccer, and tennis. Now it is Pilates and yoga and water exercise. Tai chi is just around the corner. As one of my very fit 75-year-old friends says, “You are only as old as you feel…until you try to prove it.”

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


CAREGIVING

JUST ASK

You Can’t Do Everything Yourself —and People Are Happy to Help

BY ALLAN AMENT

“How can we help?” That’s what people asked as word of my wife Deloris’ stroke swept through our island community. My response was always, “Send prayers and good thoughts.” I couldn’t think of anything else. My social worker-mother taught me how to lend a hand. Requesting and accepting help, however, was a different story. I grew up in the 1950s, instilled with the American spirit of self-reliance. Asking for help implied inadequacy, an admission I was not self-sufficient. I struggled with ideals of independence and self-reliance juxtaposed against my belief in collaboration and helping one another. It was a dilemma. But then a friend gave me advice that changed my attitude and, in some ways, my life. She said, “Asking for help is giving a gift. We want to help you and Deloris. Your response denies us that opportunity. Give us the gift of letting us help.” Wow. I didn’t have to feel like I was a failure or needed assistance. Rather, I could give my friends a gift by allowing them to help. It was that easy. And, honestly, I needed help. The next time I was asked, I answered, “I need food. Anything ready to eat would be wonderful. Thanks.” Within hours, someone had posted a schedule online asking people to sign up to deliver meals. Over the next few weeks, I arrived home from the hospital to find meals waiting on my doorstep. Expressions of support and concern for Deloris, a joke, or maybe just a name, were tucked in among the plastic containers. Some of the cooks were old friends; others I knew only by name; and a few names were unknown to me. Perhaps they were friends with Deloris or maybe just generous members of the community. I realized that asking for help did not make me feel any less a man, any less independent, or any less competent. Rather, I felt I belonged. I decided to push the envelope a bit. “The food is wonderful,” I said in an email. “I’m incredibly grateful for both the delicious food and the concern it represents. This has taught me that when I ask for something, it might appear. So, here goes: I need chocolate, really good red wine, gasoline, and ferry tickets. Thanks.” Aging with Confidence

What the hell, I thought. It’s worth a try. If nothing else, maybe some people will laugh. Within days, chocolate tortes appeared at my front door, as did bottles of red wine. Someone even left ferry tickets. How did we become so isolated that we think being self-reliant means doing everything oneself? Humans are social beings; we need each other. The image of the independent, self-sufficient American is a myth. Pioneers had families to help with the tasks necessary for survival and settlement. Soldiers in combat rely on each other, as do athletes in team sports. Entrepreneurs form teams of people to realize their vision. Even The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Yet, somehow I’d lost this message. Luckily, I was given the opportunity to find it again. The idea that asking for help is giving a gift was the first lesson I learned in the months and years I have been Deloris’ caregiver. It may be the most important. summer 2016

Allan Ament is the author of Learning to Float: Memoir of a Caregiver-Husband, as well as other articles published in literary and academic journals and trade magazines. He is vice chair of the South Whidbey at Home board of directors and the past CEO and board chair of the Northwest Institute of Literary Arts. Allan lives on Whidbey Island with his wife, who is an awardwinning writer, and their semi-neurotic cat.

| 3rd Act magazine

21

n


New Activities Abound in Western Washington for People With Memory Loss and Their Care Partners BY JULIE FANSELOW

A

Julie Fanselow is the author of many travel guidebooks and hundreds of magazine articles, and she served as her father’s primary care advocate during his final years of life. She lives in Seattle and is writing a book on the arts and memory loss.

22

dozen of us sit in a circle at Seattle’s Taproot Theatre as we pass around props and improvise like we’re on the hit TV show, Whose Line Is It Anyway? A soft cloth ball becomes a puppy. A scarf floats like a butterfly. A plastic clothes hanger comes next, and one woman turns it into a musical conductor’s baton. Sensing an opportunity, teacher Rob Martin invites the rest of us to form an orchestra: a tuba player, a violinist…even an elephant. Our maestro barely misses a beat as she begins conducting us from her wheelchair. This is no ordinary improv class: It’s been specially designed for people with early stage memory loss and their care partners, and it’s part of a grassroots wave of arts and recreation engagement opportunities from botanical garden walks in Bellevue to movie matinees in Edmonds. All are rooted in a community that participants call “momentia,” inspired by a new way of looking at and living with the aging process. Alzheimer’s and other dementias are becoming more common as people live longer. There’s no cure, and nearly everyone fears a diagnosis. But most people living with memory loss have a slow decline, rather than a steep descent, ahead of them—a fact that suggests the need for a new language for dementia. Speaking last fall at the Frye Art Museum’s conference on Dementia, Art, and Enhancing Well-Being, geriatrician and author Dr. G. Allen Power suggested this definition: Dementia is a shift in the way a person experiences the world. That resonated with Marigrace Becker, who was working for Seattle Parks and Recreation when she began developing programs for people with memory loss several years ago. Brainstorming for a word to describe the free-

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

flowing, no-filters creativity that people experienced when they painted at an art class led by Elderwise (another early player in this movement), Becker came up with momentia. “I had that full-body ‘yes’ experience,” remembers Becker, now a program manager at the Memory and Brain Wellness Center at University of Washington School of Medicine. “I thought, ‘This is it.’ This is a word that can rally people. It has that spirit of ‘Yes, we can.’ It’s fun to say, it’s fun to shout.” It’s easy to build momentum around, too. Having heard about improv comedy classes for people with memory loss in Chicago, Becker reached out to Pam Nolte at Taproot in 2011 to see if the company might want to start something similar in Seattle. “What she didn’t know is I had lost my mom with Alzheimer’s in 2003,” says Nolte. “So she asked the right person.” Taproot swiftly began offering classes via The Gathering Place (a program at the Greenwood Senior Center), and the theater has broadened its efforts to other nearby communities. The Frye Art Museum and Edmonds Center for the Arts also have extensive offerings that help people with memory loss and their loved ones play together.

Keeth Monta Apgar of Songwriting Works strums and sings at a workshop at the Edmonds Senior Center. Photo by Julie Fanselow

Judith-Kate Friedman has been making music in nontraditional settings for decades. Now she’s doing it as the founder of Songwriting Works, a Port Townsend-based nonprofit that helps participants write a song in just a few hours. At one recent workshop held at the Edmonds Senior Center, her collaborators included a half-dozen music lovers plus someone on a Washington State Ferry boat who sounded the horn on a departing vessel from the dock nearby. “That’s right in the key of our song,” she noted. “Thank you, captain!” www.3rdActMag.com


Roger Stocker and Helene Walling take a twirl during an improv class led by Taproot Theatre at The Gathering Place in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. Photo by Elizabeth Griffin.

Jeanne Hinrichs has had memory loss for about five years, and it’s become more advanced over the past year. Yet both she and her husband Roger eagerly offered suggestions as Friedman and her co-facilitator Keeth Monta Apgar walked, sang, and strummed us through the songwriting process—

and Jeanne still sings in a choir, too. A retired college physics professor, Roger Hinrichs says he’d sometimes welcome more scientific data about how arts engagement helps people with dementia. (“It’s not like taking a pill to get better,” he says.) Yet making music always brings a smile to his sweetheart of 50 years, and there are absolutely no negative side effects. What’s more, momentia advocates say that sharing these experiences offers new ways for people to be together. Pam Nolte says the big lesson she’s learned is to let your loved ones be who they are now—rather than who they were—and be fully present for the times you share. “You may be taking care of all the hard stuff,” she adds, but amid the responsibilities, “we cannot lose the fact that this person we love is there and they’re there in huge, glorious ways. We just have to be willing to enter into where they are at this moment.”

Plugging into Momentia Interested in learning more? The momentiaseattle.org website has extensive listings of activities taking place around Western Washington, plus this statement of purpose:

Momentia is a movement transforming what it means to live with dementia, changing the story from one of fear, despair, and isolation to one of hope, growth, purpose, and connection. Momentia celebrates the courage and strengths of people living with dementia and creates innovative opportunities for engagement in and with community. Momentia is a story of living fully and boldly and finding joy in the moment.

Photo by Adina Menasche

As part of its here:now programming, the Frye Art Museum offers gallery tours and studio art classes for people with dementia and their care partners. Photo by Jill Hardy.

Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

23


425.673.2875 | 728 Edmonds Way | Edmonds WA

www.RosewoodCourte.com

Try our Adult Day Stay Program for as little as $10 per hour. No hourly minimum. As little as 30 minutes or up to a full day. Specialized disease focused activities. 3 home cooked meals. Individual care. ADULT DAY STAY | RESPITE CARE | LONGTERM CARE

Call us today to schedule a tour. 425.673.2875 24

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


HONOR YOUR LIFE

The Music of Time BY JENNIFER JAMES

I am excited about this new column and the chance to make contact with both new and old readers. 3rd Act Magazine, as it charts new territory for those of us past 50, is a good fit for a cultural anthropologist like me. I have spent a lifetime interested in culture and illness (how beliefs systems can make us sick) and adaptive strategies (who can change and who cannot). A lot has happened to me since The Seattle Times ended my previous column in 1999. Some of it was terrible, most of it was wonderful. Year by year, what I thought were permanent stones in my heart dissolved as my perspective changed. That quieting contributed to comfort within myself, my family, and my community. At 73 I live in the home we built in 1991 and tend a garden that has aged into beauty. I have seven amazing grandchildren ages 6 to 21, acquired in various ways. I share my life with a good and endlessly interesting man I met at 60. I feel I have learned to love and be loved, a very difficult step for me. I take time to be with friends and

smell the roses, daphnia, wisteria, lilac. I worry about the world, as I did at age 10…but then early this morning Molly had four puppies. The recent memorials for Prince and David Bowie reminded me that one way we mark time in our lives is through music. A certain tune or beat can bring a visceral response. Can you recall a memorable song for each decade of your life? We sang my mother’s songs at her 90th birthday party. The first two were Bicycle Built for Two and Now is the Hour. When Mom sailed to America in 1947 with my brother and me, she left my father in London to wrap up his police cases. Now is the Hour was their love song. My songs would begin with How Much Is That Doggie in the Window or Red River Valley, then Elvis and the thrill of Love Me and Heartbreak Hotel. I can see my grandchildren laughing when they sing the first one and realize I was once a child. When I began dating, after I was widowed at 59, I put rock ’n’ roll discs in my car player. On the way to a date I

would turn up the volume and my body and mind would become 17 again. When I fell in love, it was to that beat and my male friend’s favorite aria from the opera Lakmé. You still have a song if you listen for it. It may be a different tempo now, because each decade you know more about yourself and the world. You have tested your ideas and your values and you are freer to be who you want to be as you move closer to being mortal. In this new column, I hope to push the edges of what can be said about our lives. I want us to conspire together for good lives now and good deaths whenever. The Latin meaning of “conspire” is “to breathe together.” Even if you and I never meet, we do breathe together because we still share the immense power of life.

Jennifer James has a doctorate in cultural anthropology and a master’s in history and psychology. She was a professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Washington Medical School. Jennifer is the founding mother of the Committee for Children, an international organization devoted to the prevention of child abuse worldwide.

Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

25

n


All Together Now Intergenerational Programs Boost Bonds Between Young and Old BY JULIE FANSELOW

Providence Mount St. Vincent. Photo by Devon Michelle.

Julie Fanselow lives in Seattle and enjoys spending time with people of all ages in her part-time jobs as a ballpark host and bookseller. An award-winning magazine editor and travel guidebook author, she occasionally blogs at surelyjoy.blogspot.com.

P

eople are living longer than ever before, but the youngest among us have little idea what it’s like to get older. And at a time when extended families live farther apart and many adults have no children, there are fewer natural bonds between people of different ages. Yet no matter what sort of family they’re from, there are ways young and older people can enjoy time together. One pioneering Seattle program is netting national attention as it celebrates its 25th anniversary in 2016. The Intergenerational

Learning Center at Providence Mount St. Vincent in West Seattle is the setting for Present Perfect, an upcoming documentary film that shows how 125 preschool children mingle each weekday with the 400 older adults who live at “The Mount.” The film’s Kickstarter campaign helped generate interest from People, Good Housekeeping, “The Today Show,” MTV, and many more media organizations. “When you’re young, you just never think you’re going to be old,” filmmaker Evan Briggs says in a TED Talk about her upcoming movie, which follows the funny, sweet, and sometimes sad interplay among the children and their elders, whose average age is 92. Tiny, smooth hands and well-worn ones work together to make a colorful cloth parachute jump up and down. A young boy repeatedly and patiently corrects a man who can’t quite get the child’s name right. It’s all part of life at “The Mount,” where elders delight in the presence of young children, and preschoolers learn about the aging process. “Many of our residents are widows or widowers and can become lonely,” says Providence Mount St. Vincent administrator Charlene Boyd, who helped create the intergenerational program. “Their adult children may still be working, so they may not get to see them as often as they would like. Having the children be close by seems to make our residents

From the documentary Present Perfect. Photo by Evan Briggs.

26

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


feel as though they are still part of a community.” The social benefits run both ways, as the elders experience a renewed sense of selfworth and purpose as they become role models and pass along their wisdom to a younger generation. “We wanted this place to be a place where people come to live, not come to die,” adds Boyd. “It’s about normalcy. It’s normal for someone to use a wheelchair or a walker and that’s just part of life. It’s not out of sight, out of mind. It’s right here. These kids see that every day and they’re not afraid.” Play is at the root of intergenerational fun, and it’s a key ingredient in a new program that has recently launched at Spiritwood in Pine Lake, a Village Concepts community in Issaquah. Partnering with Lake View Music Together, the local affiliate of a national program, Spiritwood is offering ongoing intergenerational music experiences for children birth through age 7 and the adults who love them. Both groups benefit because music boosts youngsters’ brain development…and it helps keep aging brains young, too. “The part of the brain that handles music deteriorates remarkably slowly as we age,” says Tracy Wills, director of corporate development at Village Concepts, a third-generation family business that serves more than 1,400 residents in 16 Washington senior living communities. This is true even among people in memory care, “who’ve actually been able to sing along to their favorite songs, remembering past parts of themselves,” Wills adds. The Lake View Music Together program dovetails with other musical offerings through Village Concepts University, where residents are able to take collegiate classes and even earn degrees as lifelong learners. Travel is another way the generations can enjoy time together, and Road Scholar is a leader in this area, with 155 intergenerational trips listed on its website. Whether kayaking the Lower Columbia River, traveling to newly open Cuba with a college-age grandchild, or digging for dinosaur fossils in Utah, the trips promise adventure and lasting memories. Says Mike Zoob, who has been on nearly 100 Road Scholar trips to 54 countries, “Time spent with one’s grandchild experiencing new things, particularly when it’s just the grandparent and grandchild, creates a priceless opportunity for bonding with and learning about each other. And then there was the pleasure of watching my granddaughter try things outside of her normal experience. I now have the challenge of staying in good enough shape to attend programs with my three other grandchildren. That’s something I look forward to very much.”

Top photo courtesy of Village Concepts. Bottom photo courtesy of Providence Mount St. Vincent.

For more information Providence Mount St. Vincent 206-937-3700 washington.providence.org

Spiritwood at Pine Lake 425-313-9100 villageconcepts.com

Road Scholar 800-454-5768 roadscholar.org Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

27


HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB BY JANE MEYERS-BOWEN

A

s a professional in retirement living with a background in health and human services, I am fascinated with aging and the best ways to foster happiness as we grow older. The happiness and well-being of residents is always a priority, and retirement communities work hard to provide environments conducive to happiness. But as a wise friend recently reminded me, no outside person or place can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. Yet I’ve noticed that the happiest people are those who are the most engaged with others. And sometimes, this happens without any professional help at all. Let me offer an example from our community. A housekeeper noticed that six ladies that she cleaned for all had their sewing machines set up in their separate apartments. She said to them, “Wouldn’t it be fun to sew together?” Within five days, 15 women gathered to discuss doing this. Within a month, they had sewn over 80 pillows for a hospice center. The sewing enthusiasts got to know each other, and they started a fire fueled by a shared passion, not by the community’s activity program coordinator. There are three levels of action: watching,

Jane Meyers-Bowen has a master of nursing degree and is the marketing director at Garden Court Retirement Community. For more information, call her at 425-438-9080.

28

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

participating, and engaging: • Watching can be a positive experience, like going to a movie. You might talk with a friend about your impressions of the movie on the way home. But the next day, you are over it. • Participating can deliver a higher level of aliveness. Getting off the bench and joining the game allows you to emerge as a person. That investment of yourself in an activity becomes the most important part of the activity, and the giving of yourself is what nourishes the soul. • Engaging, being involved in a passion with others who share the same passion, is where people become most highly alive. Most retirement communities provide opportunities to do all three. There’s entertainment like movies and concerts, all passive but enjoyable experiences. Participating in a painting class can be fun. But if you are a rabid gardener and you are gardening with other avid gardeners, it fills you up with a sense of purpose, joy, and creative energy—and you find friendship with others. (You can change the word gardener to stamp collector, artist, or flute player.) Shared passion is the juice that feeds the soul. So ask yourself: Are you sitting on the sidelines? Or are you engaged? Negative images of aging in our culture can affect how you view your aging process. A couple who had chosen to move to our retirement community said, “Living in our home, we confronted all the things we can’t do anymore. Living here, we are focused on all the things we can do.” Engage in what matters to you, and you will live fully. www.3rdActMag.com


A Face Appeared BY HOLLIS GIAMMATTEO

I

was volunteering at Town Hall. The event was an interview with Diane Rehm about her recent memoir, On My Own. For her, the ordeal of her husband’s dying had moved her to become an advocate for choice—the choice, when faced with chronic disease and subsequent dissolution, to end one’s life. I sat in the vestibule with a sister volunteer, taking tickets, checking names. It was busy: The small space teemed and emptied, teemed and emptied as the crowd found its way to the stairs leading up to the Great Hall. Happily, I was channeling the flow, when into my frame of view—the upper right quadrant—appeared the crooked face of a very old man-cum-stork, bent and beseeching. His lower jaw, thrust forward as if off its hinge, revealed a line of teeth, unsymmetrical; some were missing. I recoiled, sad to say.

30

www.3rdActMag.com


He was not badly put together—navy blue London Fog, clean shirt, and a properly knotted tie. At the same time, mental dishevelment had landed in his body. “May I scan your ticket?” I asked. Confused, he said, “Where can I get the handouts?” “Handouts?” I replied. “The Times said. And I heard on the radio that I could get the information here, tonight, about…something, oh, I can’t remember— compassion and…I think there was an and… compassion and, well, about choosing to die, I think.” “Diane Rehm may talk about that, but I don’t know about the handouts,” I said. “You can get a copy of her book over there, on that table,” I pointed across the lobby.

Into my frame of view appeared the crooked face of a very old man-cum-stork, bent and beseeching. “Oh, books, I don’t need more books,” he waved an imagined cloud of gnats away from between our faces, now disconcertingly close. He did not smell, and, sad to say, this I had expected. “I could write as many books about that,” he said. I put down my scanner. “Would it be Compassion and Choices you mean?” I asked. “Why, yes, I think so.” “Death with Dignity?” I continued, and his face brightened. I indicated the table, festooned with piles of information about Town Hall membership, programs, and the like. “Let’s go see if there’s more of a description about her talk, “I said. “And if there will be handouts.” “Who?” “Diane Rehm.” I took his elbow and we shuffled to the table. He was very old. Aging with Confidence

I wondered that he was unaccompanied. Still agitated, he pointed to the picture that appeared in Town Hall’s calendar. “Yes, that’s her,” he said accusingly. “That was the picture in the paper, damn the paper. It said there would be handouts and fliers about Compassion…with…Compassion….” “And,” I said, “and choices.” It struck me that we were having some kind of significant moment, but what to do remained unclear. I reached for a piece of paper, that I might write down the names of those various organizations I was familiar with in the areas of death and dying, ones that offer instruction on how to do the latter with intention. “Do you have a computer?” I asked. “No,” he said, fumbling with a flier. I paused, defeated. “Do you have access to a computer?” I asked, knowing better. “No.” Well, here it was—his need confronting the event that would talk about the need but not fulfill it. He had no computer. And no companion. But he had the need of a flier, a handout on how to execute a choice, the choice for what remained inferred, but unspoken. “Is there an elevator?” he asked. “Yes,” I said, and reclaimed his elbow and we shuffled back across the lobby. That he did not have a ticket ceased to matter. I pressed the button, summoning his ride. He turned, then, his stork-tall stoop straightened, “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for your help.” Touched, because I had given so little—a bit of attention; the effort my words made to enter his lowered ear—and because his need had propelled him out on this lateFebruary evening, alone, confused, in search of handouts. Would he find, in this onstage interview, anything of use? I hoped so. I wondered how further I could have helped him. His thank you settled in my heart for a little while. I returned to my station. summer 2016

A practicing Buddhist for over 30 years, Hollis Giammatteo has sought experiences that challenge her practice, from teaching writing to working with the elderly. She co-founded, managed, and wrote plays for The Wilma Theater in Philadelphia and for Rhode Island Feminist Theater. Hollis has published in a variety of magazines, and in May she released her memoir The Shelf Life of Ashes (She Writes Press, 2016).

| 3rd Act magazine

31


SPONSORED CONTENT

CULTIVATING COMMUNITY by Lindsey Hanson Good things take time. Meaningful friendships, similar to a home-grown garden, take patience and intentionality to flourish. At CRISTA Senior Living, our community gardens offer both, simultaneously. The only thing better than spending a relaxing summer evening sitting outside with friends and enjoying good food and great company is doing so after having grown and prepared the meal together. Every summer, our community gardens at Cristwood and Crista Shores are brimming with tomatoes. And while our resident gardeners surely enjoy savoring the fruits of their labors, just as enjoyable is the process of working along each other, tending the plants and growing in community. Now what to do with all those tomatoes? Just ask our Director of Dining Services, Chad McKenzie. With more than 30 years of culinary experience, Chad believes that food brings people together and in gathering around a meal there is great conversation and healing. His work has been awarded by the Washington Health Care Association, but most importantly he sees dining as an avenue that brings meaning and enjoyment to life. Here Chad shares his recipe for heirloom tomato bruschetta, a summer recipe filled with fresh ingredients and perfect for outdoor eating with friends.

HEIRLOOM TOMATO BRUSCHETTA (serves 6) 3 diced heirloom tomatoes 2 tablespoons basil pesto Âź small diced red onion 1 teaspoon each of salt and pepper 2 tablespoons of sundried tomato paste 4 tablespoons virgin olive oil Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

BALSAMIC GLAZE 2 cups of balsamic vinegar 1 cup molasses Cook on stove top over medium heat until reduced and thickened.

TIME TO BUILD YOUR BRUSCHETTA 1 baguette Finely shredded gouda cheese Melted butter To make the crostini, cut baguette into quarter inch slices. Place on a baking sheet and then brush with melted butter. Place in oven at 350 degrees until golden brown. Top with finely shredded gouda cheese. Top each crostini with a tablespoon of the heirloom bruschetta. Top with finely shredded gouda and a light drizzle of the balsamic glaze.

To learn more about CRISTA Senior Living, call 206-546-7565 or visit cristaseniorliving.org.

32

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


Live life Imagine living in a place where you’re connected to all generations, where you can be part of a vibrant community filled with people of all ages. Imagine knowing that you have all the extra help you need to stay independent and productive—and that more care is available if it is required. That is what you’ll find at Cristwood.  Independent Living  Assisted Living  Memory Care  Nursing Care  Respite Care  Outpatient Therapy Aging with Confidence

connected.

Call for a tour today: 206.546.7565

19303 Fremont Avenue N Shoreline, WA 98133

cristwood.org

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

33


A Good Vintage BY SHANNON BORG

As Woodinville reinvents wine country, its winemakers transform themselves to follow their passion for the grape.

John and Peggy Bigelow kick back at their winery, JM Cellars, in Woodinville.

34

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


Shane Howard's Pondera Winery, located in the Warehouse Winery District of Woodinville, specializes in premium Bordeaux style blends.

W

why we live in the Northwest, with moss covered trees sheltering us among rhododendrons the size of minivans. Tasting wines aged in the barrel room the Bigelows built, looking out into the gardens, and hearing these stories of history and transformation, we could feel the spirits of those who came before. If Bigelow was a true “garagiste,”or winemaker who makes small batches in a garage, Shane Howard of Pondera Winery might be called an “artiste,” since he literally made his first batch of wine in the frame shop of his parents’ gallery in Kirkland. “I was sitting at a restaurant in Paris,” he said, “and I had that wine epiphany—it was Barolo.” Barolo— an ethereal Italian wine made from Nebbiolo grapes—has triggered many a wine reverie, but this one took root, and Howard returned to try his hand at making wine. He eventually moved from the gallery into his new winery in Woodinville’s Warehouse District—now he’s now a “garagiste,” too. The winery’s walls are covered with incredible paintings from Howard/Mandville Gallery’s collection of American and international artists. You’ll want to sip the chardonnay, Bordeauxstyle cabernet sauvignon/merlot blend, and other delightful wines slowly as you take in the colors and vision that lend extra meaning to the winery’s name. (Pondera means “depth” in Italian.)

inemakers—and wine-lovers—come to their passion from different places. In Woodinville, some winemakers started their careers in the tech industry, some in aerospace, and others worked in the arts. Each winery has a story to tell, and each wine is a tale of renewal. John Bigelow started making wine in his garage in 2006 while still working in tech, naturally taking inspiration from his brother-in-law Mike Januik, head winemaker for Chateau Ste. Michelle. Over the next decade, a hobby became a business. Now, JM Cellars graces one of the most beautiful hilltops in Woodinville, and one with a rich past: This once was a brothel, with a madam who lived—and died—upstairs in a murder that was never solved. The fertile grounds evolved into a At Margaret’s Vineyard, a 40 acre vineyard in the Walla Walla appellation, dairy farm, then an arboretum. On JM Cellar's grows six grapes that were the original planted varieties of the our visit, the soft rain reminded us Bordeaux region in France. Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

Shannon Borg is a wine and travel writer living in Friday Harbor on San Juan Island. Her most recent book is The Green Vine: A Guide to West Coast Sustainable, Organic & Biodynamic Wines (Mountaineers, 2011).

| 3rd Act magazine

35


near the historic Hollywood Schoolhouse, where you’ll find dozens of swanky tasting rooms with large windows, stained concrete floors, and colorful art—all very Uptown. The Warehouse District has a more Downtown feel. Here, with wineries and tasting rooms literally in warehouses and tastings that take place next to stacked barrels and fermentation tanks, you feel like you’re getting a behindthe-scenes look into the process of winemaking. An overnight stay in the area makes it a minivacation. The Heathman in Kirkland (just a short drive from Woodinville) is a perfect headquarters near restaurants, galleries, and quaint shops. Or stay at The Willows Inn, where you can Chris Gorman creates award-winning wines at Gorman Winery. visit wineries within walking His guitar collection is on display at his tasting room. distance. For brunch, the Barking Frog at the Willows Inn is top Musician Chris Gorman of Gorman notch, with a spectacular Caesar salad Winery was in a band in a former life done right, to-die-for mac and cheese and displays his guitar collection at his with truffle oil, and a spicy Sasquatch tasting room across the street from the Hollywood Schoolhouse. Gorman makes Bloody Mary with a crispy slice of bacon amongst the garnishes. about 8,000 cases of award-winning Down the road, don’t miss Tandem wines, with names that reflect their Wine Bar, with its savory pasta dishes, intensity. The Evil Twin is a powerful perfectly cooked duck with risotto, and syrah/cabernet blend, and The Bully is fresh basil-and-tomato salad. The patio is a dark and robust cabernet/petit verdot the place to be in summer, sipping wine blend. The Big Sissy, his only white, is a and enjoying the long evenings. lush chardonnay with delightful aromas of brioche and fresh apple. Pair them with a pizza from Vivi Pizzeria two doors down, and enjoy it all on the Gorman patio. With more than 100 wineries, plus eight distilleries and cideries and more than two dozen restaurants, Woodinville has two main destinations for tasting wine. The center of wine country is the area

36

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

If You Go… JM CELLARS 14404 137th Place NE, Woodinville 425-485-6508 jmcellars.com

PATTERSON CELLARS 19501 144th Ave. NE, Woodinville 425-483-8600 pattersoncellars.com

PONDERA WINERY 19501 144th Ave. NE, B-400 Woodinville 425-486-8500 ponderawinery.com

GORMAN WINERY Winery: 19501 144th Ave. NE, C-500 Woodinville 206-351-0719 The Station Tasting Room: 14505 148th Ave. NE, Woodinville gormanwinery.com

Accommodations & Restaurants TANDEM WINE BAR 15029 Woodinville-Redmond Rd. NE Woodinville 425-398-WINE tandemwinebar.com

WILLOWS LODGE / BARKING FROG RESTAURANT 14580 NE 145th St., Woodinville 425-424-2999 willowslodge.com

THE HEATHMAN HOTEL KIRKLAND 220 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland 425-284-5800 heathmankirkland.com

www.3rdActMag.com


LIVING INTO DYING

FOOD F R THOUGHT

Nourishment Takes Many Forms BY ASHLEY BENEM

F

ood makes memories. How about that homemade meal of braised pork chops with brandy glaze, homemade applesauce with cloves and ginger, and double whipped mashed potatoes with garlic and chives, all to help you celebrate your return from that big trip. Or a trip to your favorite restaurant to commemorate the first work promotion. Homemade snickerdoodles for the road when you go back to college after the long weekend. And pot roast when the winter blues gets you by the nose. Food for comfort. Food for the belly, the nose, the taste buds, and the heart. For so many, food is the major way we show our love, our support, and gratitude: the thank you loaf of banana bread, the chicken soup from scratch when someone is sick. All these recipes show how much we care. We use food as medicine for the heart, mind and soul. So it only makes sense that when we’re supporting a family member or friend who is in their dying process, food can be a huge issue for everyone. Here are some ideas to help you make food a key ingredient in these passages:

Use the scent of foods to nurture people rather than just feed them. The Hospice Aging with Confidence

House here in Bellingham is perpetually baking cookies and has two pots of soup going all the time. The nurturing, calming effect of the smell of fresh-baked cookies and of soup helps folks feel more relaxed and at home. At a time when emotions can be high, this is a welcome feeling. We hear that “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach,” but maybe it’s through the nose. As the need and the want of food decreases naturally toward the end of life’s journey, try other ways of offering nurturing care and support. Since your loved one may not want food, try reading a poem, brushing her hair, giving him a foot massage, singing a song, reading a story, or telling stories about their lives and accomplishments. You may find that just sitting in silence with them is healing. Feed them with love, instead of spaghetti. Eating root vegetables can offer energetic and spiritual medicine to keep people grounded, calm, balanced, and resourced. Make sure to get enough protein and energyboosting carbs, like whole grains and meats. Too much sugar and alcohol can create blood sugar peaks and lows that can compound the effects of stress and grief. Set up a meal train for the caregivers. Tending to the helpers and the family is a very needed thing and often overlooked. As people pour out their energy to care for the sick and dying, don’t forget to feed them.

Ashley T Benem is the founder of the non-profit A Sacred Passing: Death Midwifery Service and the creator of The Art of Death Conference. She is an advocate for palliative and end-of-life care issues, empowering and supporting families to reclaim their right to die in congruence with their lives. Contact Ashley at asacredpassing@gmail. com.

These ideas are all good food for thought-fulness. summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

37

n


D O WN S I Z E E Z I S T H G I R E TO TH FREE r u o y t e G at e d i u G g in Downsiz /downsizing .com eraliving

D o wn s i z

e

to the Righ t Size

For upcoming seminar dates, please visit eraliving.com/downsizing or call: Aljoya Mercer Island: (206) 230-0150 • Aljoya Thornton Place: (206) 306-7920 Whatever your passion, Era Living offers eight unique communities designed to bring you closer to everything you love.


What We Know About

Enhancing Mental Power BY DR. JOYCE SHAFFER

S

o you want to dance? Awesome! Dancing has so many benefits. When you grab a partner and join others on the dance floor, you capture the healing power of touch. If other folks on the dance floor are an upbeat and positive crowd, together you create and celebrate contagious, happy emotions that are good for your heart, soul, and brain! (Plus you get the added benefit of empowering social support.) Even if you are home alone dancing to the beat of your favorite music, it can energize your brain power. But this might be the best news of all: When you dance—or do anything you like—at an aerobic pace, you can increase your birth rate…of new brain cells, that is! This is known as neurogenesis. When the idea was first proven in lower animals, scientists were quite sure humans did not give birth to new brain cells because, as one theory had it, we humans are too busy figuring out how to solve the national debt; any new brain cells would just further confuse us. However, very clever research helped capture the truth. Carbon derived from nuclear bomb tests was measured postmortem to show that new brain cells are created in humans at any age. Why do we want new brain cells? They’re important in forming memories and new learning. Scientists also think these new cells help us avoid depression. Other good news: Birthing new brain cells is an Aging with Confidence

equal opportunity experience – that is, men do it, too. The bomb-related research told us that, on average, adult humans added 700 new brain cells every day, to both sides of their brain, and in the part of the brain that can get smaller with the so-called “normal decline of aging.” Folks, that’s a total of an average of 1,400 new brain cells a day throughout human adulthood, whether or not we want these newbies! And those postmortem brains were created before we knew much about how to influence the birth, survival, and creative uses for new brain cells. Now we also have the benefit of modern research on animals and living humans, and it shows that by maintaining an aerobic pace (with wise counsel from your healthcare provider), you can exponentially increase your birthrate of new brain cells. That’s part of what can make dancing even more awesome than we’ve ever known. And it’s not just dancing: You can pick any aerobic activity you like including bicycling, climbing stairs, walking, or rowing. No matter what you choose, you’ll give birth to thousands of memory-boosting brain cells, enjoy the health benefits of being active, and have fun while you’re doing it. So that’s it in a nutshell. It’s your choice: You can relax into the so-called “normal decline of aging” or provide a boost to your memory and new learning through increasing your birthrate of new brain cells by being aerobic for the health of it. summer 2016

Dr. Joyce Shaffer is founder and managing partner in Ideal Aging and a clinical associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Washington. As a psychologist and nurse, she has served as an expert for court systems since 1982, and she is the author of several books on her passion for enhancing brain power..

| 3rd Act magazine

39


Top Travel Mistakes [and How to Avoid Them] BY RICK STEVES

O Rick Steves (www.ricksteves.com) writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and public radio. Email him at rick@ ricksteves.com and follow his blog on Facebook.

40

nce, while riding the train into Dresden, Germany, I got off where most other passengers did—at Dresden Neustadt. After 20 minutes of walking in a confused fog, my denial that I had gotten off at the wrong station slowly faded. Embarrassed by my mistake, I hopped on the next train. Five minutes later, I got off at Dresden Mitte. As I stepped outside the station, it slowly sunk in: I had made the same mistake again. Another train came. I got on and finally made it to Dresden Hauptbahnhof—a block from my hotel. Even after countless trips to Europe, I still make my share of blunders. I get lost, miss train connections, and get shortchanged by taxi drivers. But with each slip-up, I learn something. Now I make it a point to tell people: “Many towns have more than one train station. Be sure you get off at the right one.”

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

Here are some of the biggest mistakes I see travelers make these days:

1

Saving money at the expense of time. People

focus on saving money while forgetting that their time is an equally valuable and limited resource. It’s worth paying for museum admission rather than going on a free day and suffering through slow lines and crowds. If a taxi costs you and your partner $5 more than two bus tickets, it’s worth the 20 minutes saved. If ever time was money, it’s when you’re trying to get the most out of traveling abroad.

2

Traveling with outdated information. I may be biased, but an up-to-date guidebook is a $20 tool for a $4,000 experience—and justifies its expense on the first ride to your hotel from the airport. A guidebook can head off both costly mistakes (getting fined for not validating your train www.3rdActMag.com


pitch, then are upset by the big bill and disappointing food. You’ll enrich your trip by wandering the back streets, away from the main tourist area. Old Town Square may be a mob scene, but six blocks away you’ll find fewer crowds and eateries full of happy Czechs.

6

ticket) and simple faux pas (ordering cappuccino with your pasta in Italy). A good guidebook can also save time, keeping you from visiting a museum that’s closed for renovation, waiting for a bus that no longer runs, and…

3

Waiting in line, needlessly. I’ve said

it before, and I’ll say it again: There are two IQs for travelers: those who queue and those who don’t. Crowds are unavoidable at big attractions—like the Eiffel Tower or Anne Frank’s house— but what is avoidable is standing in line for hours to buy tickets. These days, most popular sights sell advance tickets that guarantee admission at a certain time (often with a small booking fee that’s well worth it). While hundreds of tourists are sweating in long lines, those who’ve booked ahead can show up at their reserved time and breeze right in.

4

alert. And watch for thieves, who work the lines at crowded sights and on the bus lines handiest for tourists. Store your passport, credit cards, and cash securely, in a money belt.

5

Never leaving the tourist zone.

Many people jockey themselves into the most crowded spot of the most crowded city in the most crowded month (Old Town Square, Prague, July)— and then complain about the crowds. Likewise, they eat dinner on the most touristy street at the most high-profile restaurant with the most aggressive sales

Never leaving your comfort zone.

A fundamental goal in my travels is to have meaningful contact with local people. At a pub anywhere in England, don’t sit at a table. Sit at the bar, where people hang out to talk. At lunchtime in Coimbra, Portugal, leave the quaint Old Town and head to the local university’s cafeteria to eat and practice Portuguese with students and professors. Connecting with people is what enlivens your travel experience. And for many of us, that means getting out of our comfort zones.

7

Letting mistakes ruin your trip.

Many tourists get indignant when they make a mistake or get ripped off. When something happens, it’s best to get over it. The joy of travel is not the sights and not necessarily doing it right—it’s having fun with the process, being wonderstruck with a wider world, laughing through the mistakes and learning from them, and making friends along the way.

Not being alert to scammers and thieves. You’re not going to get

knifed or mugged in Europe. But if you’re not on the ball, you could get conned, whether it’s a cabbie padding your fare, a waiter offering a special with a “special” increased price, or a beggar with beautiful eyes, beautiful children, and sad stories asking for a euro—and stealing your wallet. Be cautious, and be Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

41


BOOK REVIEWS What's the Deal With Retirement Communities by Brad C. Breeding, CFP REVIEWED BY REV. ROBERT NICHOLSON

Are you or a loved one considering a retirement community? You’re learning that there are many alternatives, and they can be confusing. Perhaps you would prefer to stay in your home, but you question whether it is practical over the long run. Or maybe you’re not sure how types of retirement

living options differ. Brad Breeding is a certified financial planner and expert on retirement communities. He based his book on the questions he receives from older Americans and their adult children. What’s the Deal with Retirement Communities? is designed to be the first step in your research process, providing answers in a simple and concise fashion. Although it’s only about 70 pages, the book is comprehensive, informative, written in plain English, and well-documented. Choosing a place to live in retirement is a significant life decision. Breeding’s knowledge of the retirement living landscape, combined with his financial planning background, allows him to provide valuable insights into lifestyle, healthcare, and financial considerations you’ll want to keep in mind, including: • The importance of planning ahead for the later phases of retirement.

• A helpful description of terminology used in the retirement living industry. • What defines a retirement community. • Payment and contract structures for retirement communities. • How to distinguish one type of retirement community from another. • The relationship between retirement communities and long-term care services. • The cost of long-term care. The book also includes a full list of resources to help you decide if a retirement community is right for you or a loved one. And no matter what your questions are, Breeding’s guide could be a valuable tool to help you explore your options. Rev. Robert Nicholson, a Seattle resident, is president of the National Continuing Care Residents Association.

A Living History Museum of Medieval Culture Open to explore every Saturday and Sunday through September, the Village recreates the everyday experience of a 14th century rural village. Come interact with villagers who portray medieval people at work and play.

Unforgettable Dining Experience at Bors Hede Restaurant Sumptuous platters of fresh food are prepared from authentic 14th century recipes. Delight all your senses as your fingers, spoon, and borde knyfe dip into uniquely sauced entrees served on a bread trencher (plate). Fine wine, mead, ale, or juice is served in earthen pitchers, just as in medieval times. Dinners by reservation. Open year-round for dinner, Wednesday through Sunday, 5 to 8 p.m. Lunches available on Village and festival weekends, noon to 3:00 p.m.

10320 Kelly Road NE; Carnation, WA camlann.org

42

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

425-788-8624

Special events all summer long! Go to w w w. camlann.org. www.3rdActMag.com


See Ashton in Seattle Reimagine Aging Breakfast

WEdnESdAy, SEpt. 14 Registration and Networking 7 AM Program 8 AM–10 AM Washington State Convention Center

Ashton Applewhite

This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism by Ashton Applewhite REVIEWED BY DAVID MARSHALL

At last, a fresh perspective on aging offering more than selfhelp platitudes or fear of the future. Applewhite’s outspoken book shows us how insidious ageism has become, and she demands that we re-examine the cultural attitudes we’ve internalized about getting older. She takes on the negativity we associate with aging and explodes the myths surrounding it. Take the commonly held belief that getting old means becoming sadder with every passing year. It turns out that happiness increases with age. Most people are happiest when they’re very Aging with Confidence

young and very old; the “Happiness Curve” is U-shaped. Another myth: Old age equals dependence. The vast majority of older Americans live independently until they come down with whatever kills them. Or the irrational fear that normal forgetfulness is dementia, when the real epidemic is anxiety about memory loss. And the list goes on. The aging population is not a problem to be solved, but a cause for celebration – if we can take advantage of this longevity dividend: the social capital of millions of healthy, well-educated adults. The sooner that growing older is stripped of reflexive dread, the better equipped we will be to benefit from the countless ways in which it can enrich us, and our society. And we’ll be around longer to enjoy it – people with positive perceptions of aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those with negative perceptions. Everyone gets old if they’re lucky. Become an Old Person in Training. Seize the Age. Seize the book.

FEAtuRinG Ashton Applewhite, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism Group Health, 2016 Distinguished Community Partner Award FREE EvEnt Suggested minimum donation of $150 per seat RSVP by Fri., Sept. 2 soundgenerations.org/ reimagine-aging

Seattle Speaks with Ashton Applewhite about Age Equality

SundAy, SEpt. 19, 2 pM Cornish Playhouse, Seattle Center Local readers share highlights from This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, followed by a lively Q&A with Ashton about age bias, where it comes from, and what we can do about it. tickEtS $45: Preferred Seating, with book $30: Preferred Seating $20: General Seating give.soundgenerations.org/ AgeEquality Senior Services is now Sound Generations.

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

43


A CAREGIVER’S GIFT Letting Others Help

www.3rdActMag.com

Playtime

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016 SOME THINGS GET BETTER WITH AGE Winetasting in Woodinville

FREE subscriptions at www.3rdActMagazine.com.

1 Playground 2 Time clock 3 Ragtime 4 Playboy 5 Timeout 6 Display 7 Playpen 8 Summertime 9 Overtime 10 Screenplay 11 Timetable 12 Playbill 13 Playoff 14 Downplay

44

BRAIN FITNESS Take Your Brain for a Spin

Masters Rowing on Green Lake

The Girls in the Boat STYLISH SENIOR LIVING

Meet Dee Dickinson

LIVING A LEGACY SUMMER 2016

Anagrams 1 Loop; Pool, Polo 2 Mesa; Same, Seam 3 Abets; Baste, Betas, Beast, Beats 4 Taser; Aster, Rates, Stare, Tears 5 Leapt; Petal, Plate, Pleat 6 Bleary; Barely, Barley 7 Ascot; Coast, Coats, Tacos 8 Ranged; Danger, Gander, Garden

Word Tower (Other correct answers are possible) 1 ME 2 MET 3 MENU 4 MEDIA 5 MEMBER 6 MERMAID 7 MEDICINE 8 MESSENGER 9 MEDICATION 10 METABOLIZED 11 METROPOLITAN 12 METEOROLOGIST

positively inspirational! When it comes to aging well, we’re

(Puzzles on page 48)

Brain Games Answers


COMING AT TRACTIONS Summer is the season to enjoy some of the many local food, art, and music fairs in the area. Here are a few fun events to inspire your explorations.

Malala Yousafzai

JUL 24

The girl who was shot by the Taliban and survived to become the youngest recipient of a Nobel Prize continues to fight for the education of women worldwide. Hear her speak at Hec Edmundson Pavilion in Seattle. uniquelives.com

JULY Cary Grant for President

SEPTEMBER Bumbershoot

SEP 2–4

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

Now in its 46th year, Bumbershoot is one of Seattle’s cultural touchstones. Diverse programming includes live music, comedy, theatre, film, visual arts, and dance at Seattle Center. bumbershoot.com Port Townsend Wooden Boat Festival

JUL 7–AUG 11

SEP 9–11

In this political year, Seattle Art Museum celebrates the fun-loving intelligence and casual, stylish charm of Cary Grant, who was among the best, most subtly brilliant actors in cinema. Weekly showings on Thursdays.

Tour 300 boats both afloat and ashore, and try out some of the boats yourself. Plus enjoy demonstrations of woodworking, pirate plays, music, and sailing regattas, and the Crafts by the Dock fair. 360.385.3628 nwmaritime.org

206.654.3210 seattleartmuseum.org Sergio Mendes: 50 Years—A Celebration of Brazil ‘66 JUL 14–17

One of the most internationally successful Brazilian artists of all time, three-time Grammy Award winner Mendes has recorded more than 35 albums. Five performances at Jazz Alley in Seattle. 206.441.9729 jazzalley.com

BAM ARTSfair

JUL 29–31

Over 300 inspiring artists will showcase their unique handmade creations. The Bellevue Arts Museum hosts this awardwinning arts and crafts festival, among the largest in the Northwest. 425.519.0770 bellevuearts.org Dragon Boat Festival

JUL 30

Dragon boat racing has a rich history of ceremony and competition. Watch flamboyantly decorated 40-foot-long boats battle it out on Seattle’s South Lake Union. 206.856.0571 seattledragonboatfestival.net

Sand-Sculpting Competition

SEP 24

30 Americans

SEP 24–JAN 15

This critically acclaimed exhibition makes its West Coast debut at Tacoma Art Museum, showcasing an influential group of prominent African American artists who have emerged as leading contributors to the contemporary art scene in the U.S. and beyond.

JUL 23

See incredible sand sculptures built by competing teams during Sandsations, the 32nd annual Long Beach Sand-Sculpting Competition. In Long Beach, on the Pacific Coast. sandsationslongbeach.com

Free Museum Day

Get free tickets to visit one of our region’s participating area museums on Museum Day Live. smithsonianmag.com

253.272.4258 tacomaartmuseum.org

AUGUST Pike Place Market Dinner

OCTOBER AUG 12

Sip and savor your way through many of the region’s best restaurants, wineries, breweries, and distilleries right on the Market cobblestones. Then dance away the warm August night under the stars. (7:30 to 11 p.m.) 206.682.7453 pikeplacemarketfoundation.org

Savor the San Juans

A month-long medley of food, farms, and art, this movable feast for the senses pulls together all the elements of a memorable post-summer vacation getaway, including wine tastings, harvest festivals, farm tours, and other events throughout what Lonely Planet calls the “gourmet archipelago.” 888.468.3701 visitsanjuans.com

Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

45


On the Town Hot tips on Seattle area arts events BY MISHA BERSON

Actor Luke Sayler and the audience of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from last summer. Photo by Ken Holmes.

W Misha Berson writes about the arts for The Seattle Times and many other publications, and is the author of four books, including Something’s Coming, Something Good: West Side Story and the American Imagination (Applause/ Hal Leonard).

ho wants to stay cooped up inside during the glorious Seattle summers we all eagerly await and delight in? I certainly don’t, and neither do most locals I know. But arts lovers like me can get our summer culture fix and our sunshine too, thanks to an array of al fresco arts and entertainment options Seattle’s vibrant cultural scene affords in the warmer months. You may need sunscreen and your own fold-up seating. Or maybe a blanket to spread out on the grass and double as a table cloth for a picnic spread. Let some fresh-air loving local arts groups handle the rest. Best of all, many of the Seattle area’s outdoor dance, music, theater, and other cultural events are low cost or free of charge. (Donations are encouraged and much appreciated.) Here are a few of my favorites to check out.

Free Open-Air Shakespeare “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” pondered the incomparable bard William Shakespeare in one of his sonnets. Shakespeare is the resident playwright for many a summer theater, and about a half-dozen intrepid

46

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

troupes in Seattle and beyond tour their classical shows to parks and other outdoor sites around Western Washington. So why not commune with these hallowed tales of woe and ribald comedy while lolling on park lawns in balmy climes? The Bard of Avon’s scripts are abridged for these occasions. But the essential language and plot points remain, and up-and-coming local actors and directors are often showcased. Two footloose troupes are standouts: Wooden O (an arm of the indoor Seattle Shakespeare Company) and Greenstage. This summer, through August 7, Wooden O presents the titanic tragedy of Hamlet and the comedy Love’s Labour’s Lost in parks from Bellevue to Edmonds. For a schedule, go to seattleshakespeare.org or call 206-733-8222. Greenstage, which sticks mostly to Seattle locales, is even busier. Their park season of Cymbeline and The Merry Wives of Windsor continues through Aug. 13, as does their Backyard Bard program of four-actor mini-versions of Pericles and Twelfth Night. Details: greenstage.org or 206-748-1551. www.3rdActMag.com


Dancing til Dusk

Music Under the Stars This beloved annual event produced by the Seattle Chamber Orchestra welcomes you to sit back and enjoy classic compositions performed by fine musicians in several Seattle parks. Featuring professional chamber groups and top-notch student ensembles from Cornish College, Seattle Pacific University, University of Washington, and the Seattle Youth Symphony, the concerts are free of charge and run various nights, July 5 through 26. Venues include Delridge Playfield in West Seattle, plus Seattle’s Columbia Park, Volunteer Park, and Freeway Park. And on July 27, Seattle Chamber Society musicians will perform another free classical treat: an evening of works by Felix Mendelssohn and Dmitri Shostakovich at Volunteer Park. For the summer concert schedule, which also includes some indoor events, call 206-283-8710 or go to seattlechambermusic.org.

Top: The cast of Much Ado About Nothing from summer of 2015. Photo by Ken Holmes. Middle: Violinist James Ehnes is the Artistic Director of Seattle Chamber Music Society. Bottom: BallRouge2014. Photo by John Fehringer.

If toe-tapping sounds are more to your liking, and you’re tempted to get up and boogie when the mood strikes, downtown Seattle has a treat in store for you. Presented by Dance for Joy, Seattle Parks and Recreation, and other community organizations, Dancing til Dusk offers over a dozen opportunities in July and August to listen to hot local bands in downtown parks and, if you wish, trip the light fantastic. The series is a free, all-ages affair, and great fun. The locations—Bell Street Park, Freeway Park, Westlake Park, and Occidental Park—may be low on greenery. But they have room to swing your partner—or sit it out and soak in the sounds of salsa, swing music, big band jazz, and more. A bonus: Come an hour earlier for a free dance lesson, matched to the style of that evening’s band. The concerts happen from 6 to 9:30 p.m., when parking downtown is more plentiful and cheaper. But why drive? Public transit will get you there with minimum hassle. More information and a schedule at 206-264-5646 or danceforjoy.biz.

Many of the Seattle area’s outdoor dance, music, theater, and other cultural events are low cost or free of charge.” Aging with Confidence

summer 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

47


Exercise your brain and have some fun with these puzzles designed to stimulate different cognitive functions.

PlayTime (easier)

All the answers in this word definition quiz contain either the word play or the word time.

Word Tower (hardest)

Every word in a word tower begins with the same two letters. You build the tower by increasing the length of each word by one letter. For example, a five-word tower built on the letters FA could include: FAN, FAST, FABLE, FACTOR, FAILURE. (Proper nouns are not allowed, and you cannot just add an ‘S’ to make another word. For example, if you used MEAT, you cannot use MEATS.)

1

Where kids go to swing and seesaw

2

Punch this, if you want to get paid

3

Scott Joplin’s musical milieu

4

A promiscuous, often wealthy, male

5

A break taken by basketball players and by naughty children who need a little cooling off

6

A type of glass case, often found in jewelry stores

2 ME

7

An enclosure for babies so they don’t crawl off and get into trouble

3 ME

8

As Gershwin wrote, this is when “the livin’ is easy”

9

Additional hours worked…and the pay earned for it

10

A script written for the movies

11

Charts with train or bus schedules

12

Printed program handed to theatergoers before a performance

13

Sporting term for a series of games that decides a championship

14

To treat something as less important than it really is

1 ME

4 ME 5 ME 6 ME 7 ME 8 ME 9 ME 10 ME 11 ME 12 ME

Anagrams (harder)

The letters of each word in this list can be arranged in multiple ways to form other words. We provide the word and the number of arrangements that are possible to make. 1 Loop (2) 2 Mesa (2) 3 Abets (4) 4 Taser (4) 5 Leapt (3) 6 Bleary (2) 7 Ascot (3) 8 Ranged (3)

Answers on page 44

Reprinted with permission from Nancy Linde, author of the best selling book 399 Puzzles, Games, and Trivia Challenges Specially Designed to Keep Your Brain Young, and creator of the website Never2Old4Games.com used by many senior-serving communities and organizations. Nancy’s new book, 417 More Games, Puzzles, and Trivia Challenges Specially Designed to Keep Your Brain Young, will be available in October, 2016.

48

3rd Act magazine | summer 2016

www.3rdActMag.com


Welcome to Dolcetto Come Visit Our Newest Addition to Bothell Landing! Construction is well under way at our Chateau Bothell Landing Campus, with our newest building, Dolcetto. Construction on Dolcetto is expected to be completed in early 2016. Some features and amenities in our new building include: • Studio, One Bedroom and Two Bedroom Apartments • Additional Dining Room Option • Underground Parking Garage • Multi-purpose Great Room and Recreation Room • Private Conference Room & Additional Library • Functional Outdoor Space & Easy Access to Existing Campus • Beautiful Views of Sammamish River and Bothell Revitalization • Month to Month and Entrance Fee options available

Pre-sales are going on now! RSVP: 425-485-1155 Reserve your apartment TODAY! Retirement Living, Assisted Living, Memory and Respite Care

www.ChateauRetirement.com

Live Happier, Healthier, Longer!


Village Concepts Locations Brannan Park Retirement Auburn, WA Riverside East Bothell, WA El Dorado West Burien, WA Woodland Village Chehalis, WA High Point Village Enumclaw, WA Sound Vista Village Gig Harbor, WA

Bring Retirement to Life!

Channel Point Village Hoquiam, WA Spiritwood at Pine Lake Issaquah, WA Grandview Village Marysville, WA Mill Ridge Village Milton, WA Harbor Tower Village Oak Harbor, WA Park View Villas Port Angeles, WA Country Meadow Village Sedro-Woolley, WA

1-888-548-6609

Assisted Living, Memory Care, Affordable Senior Living Community Amenities Include* Studio, 1& 2 Bedroom Floor Plans Affordable Monthly Rents

Affordable Living for Independent Seniors*

Convenient City Locations

Covington Place Senior Apartments Covington, WA

Active Social & Recreational Programs

Alder Ridge Senior Apartments Milton, WA

Small Pets Welcome

Pioneer Village Senior Apartments Moses Lake, WA *Income Qualified

Warm Home-Like Settings *Gracious Dining Services *Amenities vary by location

Three generations family owned and locally operated. www.villageconcepts.com

3rd Act Magazine – Summer 2016  

3rd Act Magazine brings you inspiring and informative articles about navigating life as you age and how to get the most from every day. Age...

3rd Act Magazine – Summer 2016  

3rd Act Magazine brings you inspiring and informative articles about navigating life as you age and how to get the most from every day. Age...