To our parents, this is misbehaving, naughtiness, disrespect. Something they feel must be corrected, taught manners, obedience and discipline. How do they achieve this? By reprimand and punishment – physical, emotional, screaming and shouting, threatening and all the many things most of us will likely have experienced in our childhood. As we grow and learn to talk, we note that what we say is considered pretty insignificant; we are not given the space to express what we feel or want – even if we are, no one really listens. And our parents keep reminding us that they know what is best for us. As a child, how can we argue or question that? Through these experiences we begin to wonder, question and eventually conclude that maybe the way we are is simply not enough; and we internalise the belief that we are "not good enough." This leads to us deciding that unless we change, we will not be accepted and loved - our greatest fundamental fear and need. In order to make it with our parents (be accepted and loved), we decided that perhaps we need to change our behaviour and attitudes to conform and meet their expectations of how we ought to be (our first compromise on who we truly are).
Then one day we are sent off to school – a daunting and terrifying step for some children, an exciting “adventure” for others. In this new environment we encounter other children, teachers, rules and regulations, disciplines, etc. For example: Learning to read and write. Learning the multiplication tables et al through repetition. Having to pass tests and exams to prove our level of competence, intellect and acceptability Behave in class in a manner that is acceptable to the teacher, conform to the school’s rules and regulations else we are punished – from both the school and (likely) our parents (we are so terrible). If our standard of work is not to the level of others, we get classified as "abnormal", in need of specialized education or psychological assessment – measured against what society has determined to be the accepted norm. No one is really interested in our unique individuality and talents. We are required to meet and conform to the expectations of our teachers, peers and school environment.