2 minute read

Semi Self Isolation

Now, I get the general concept of this self-isolation But it’s driven me to the very edge of progressive desperation. You see, we’d got it worked out, between me and the wife Our marriage was a strong one cos we both lived separate lives. But now we’re in the same house, locked down for 14 days And if we’re both alive in 2 weeks, I’ll be honestly amazed. Apparently there’s rules and regs which make this marriage stable And she has a list of what can be done, sat at the kitchen table! Jigsaws are not a problem, she’s fine and cool with those. As is arranging flowers there, and anything else she grows. But the minute that I wander in, with a greased up carburetor I can see it in her eyes that I’ve probably upset her. Her left foot starts a-tappin’, and her temple starts pulsating Her eyebrows starts to furrow, and all her teeth start grating. I offer her a tea or coffee, anything just to please her But she delves into her backpack and pulls out Bacardi Breezer I casually mention ‘calories’, and should she be drinking that? But she bites the top clean off, and ends our little chat. I retreat into the lounge, and turn the tv on I know there should be two remotes, but I can only find the one. “Darling, have you seen the...” I start to shout into the kitchen. But before the sentence ends, she’s stood there in the doorway, twitching. From the growling that she’s doing, and hand gestures seldom seen I take my cue, and leave the house, before she makes a scene. Thirteen more days, and sixteen hours, of watching where I tread! I thank the Lord and all his angels that I’ve got a garden shed!

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