Valour Lifestyle Winter Edition

WINTER 2021

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: EASY GUIDE TO MAKEUP

TOUR MILAN

with Rinati Dor Dvorsky

WINTER WARMERS...

HOT DRINKS SOUPS

Wedding Special

BRIDAL DRESSES & FLOWERS

& EXOTIC CUISINE

STREET STYLE

How to get & stay

Organised

MODEST FASHION FOR EVERYDAY

In the Business Seat

B7ACTIVE

talks building a modest activewear brand 1

CONTENTS Winter 2021

INSPIRATION WHO’S AFRAID OF A LITTLE AMBITION?.... 5 CHANUKA AND PURITY....................................13 THE REAL MIRACLES OF CHANUKA ............14

EATS WINTER WARMERS .......................................... 54 ON THE SPICE TRAIL ........................................ 57

WHERE HANDS MEET HEART: HANDS OF INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING DO THIS! ....... 15 PASSION .............................................................. 63

ESHET CHAYIL MI YIMTZA ............................. 16 SIMPLY GOURMET............................................. 70 LIGHT UP THE WORLD WITH PAL ................ 18 CHARLOTTE'S SOURDOUGH ........................ 74 THE BEAUTY OF JUDAISM EXHIBITION ..... 22 CHANUKA AT COCO BAKERY ....................... 78

FASHION T IS FOR TRENDS .............................................. 26 Q&A ...................................................................... 38

BUSINESS GROW YOUR BUSINESS .................................. 82

B7ACTIVE – DEFINING MODEST ACTIVEWEAR VALOUR GUEST ................................................ 40 ................................................................................. 84 ALL YOUR BUSINESS QUESTIONS................ 90

HEALTH SISSY ROSE ......................................................... 42 LET’S TALK ABOUT PERINATAL MENTAL HEALTH ................................................................................. 44 PELVIC HEALTH ................................................. 48 EXERCISING FOR MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH ................................................................................. 49 MAKING PEACE WITH YOUR BODY: INTUITIVE EATING ............................................. 51

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WEDDING A DRESS FIT FOR A BRIDE .............................. 94 A GUIDE TO SHEVA BROCHOS PLANNING ............................................................................... 102 THE PERFECT FLOWERS ............................... 104 A WATERDALE HOME .................................... 112 THE WEDDING GUEST STYLE EDIT ........... 114

BEAUTY YOUR ONE STOP BOUTIQUE SALON: SALON GELLI .................................................................. 117 A BASIC GUIDE TO MAKEUP ....................... 120 A WIG WITH A DIFFERENCE ........................ 122 BIO SCULPTURE FOR HEALTHY NAILS .... 126

TRAVEL AN EXCURSION THROUGH MILAN ............128

DESIGN SPACE PLANNING AND STORAGE ............ 136 HOW TO GET ORGANISED AND KEEP IT THAT WAY! ........................................................ 141 BEAUTIFY YOUR CHANUKA TABLE ........... 145 SETTING YOUR CHANUKA TABLE ............. 148 SAM PLANNING: YOUR DREAM HOME IN OUR HANDS ..................................................... 150

OTHER CONTRIBUTORS ...............................................152 3

Batsheva Netzer In this edition we are only looking at one of Batsheva’s businesses. She actually owns two separate companies, yet she terms this one her ‘outlet’ and ‘hobby’. Whatever it is, Batsheva is redefining the meaning of modest active-wear, and we’re truly grateful.

Hanna Braun (left) Founder of her own makeup school ‘Pro Academy by Hanna Braun’, Hannah Braun is a jet-setting makeup artist who works and teaches classes throughout America and Canada.

Judith Fiddler As an underconfident, newly married, sheitel wearing, junior employee, Judith Fiddler’s business pitch on changing the world of Human Resources to her bosses was met with a metaphorical pat on the head translating as ‘Nice try dear, but frum women and business don’t mix!’ 20 years on and she is the sole owner of DLP, author of 8 books, employment law advisor to Beis Din, and a non-legal judge. Because she must be bored, she also does pro-bono community work, monthly webinars, podcasts, and is the editor of the HR magazine 'Stronger2getHR'.. Of course, last but not least, her proudest achievements are being a Wife and Mother – always the toughest, yet most rewarding, job of all!

MEET & GREET

Some of the women you’ll meet in this Season’s edition

Sissy Rose (above) Sissy wanted to share with us her Postpartum depression and anxiety journey in order to show women that it is not a shameful condition, and that they don’t have to keep quiet and suffer alone. ‘I believe that I went through this for a reason and if I can even help just one struggling mother out there, then it will have been worth writing my story.’

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Rachelli Lerner (above) Qingdao, a large city in the Shandong province of China, is where all of the ‘wigs from China’ are made.

Rachelli says, ‘I really would love to go there and visit someday so they understand who we are; so that they see me wearing a wig in real life.’

Charlotte Clif (above) ‘Making sourdough feeds the soul as well as the body.’ Charlotte loves being able to provide the Kosher community with organic, fully fermented sourdough bread. A big believer in wholesome foods, her products are all chemical free, natural, nutritious and obviously - delicious.

Netta Epstein (right) This edition’s guest is Netta Epstein, and she’ll be answering our ‘Fast Fashion Questions’. Her favourite colour this season is pink – in case you were wondering!

WHO’S AFRAID OF A LITTLE AMBITION?

By Yael Simon

R

ecently, I was raising money online for a match funding campaign. Many of my friends responded, but memorably, two women told me afterwards that the donation was from ‘their money’. Curiously, it occurred to me that there was no need for them to make this assertion and yet, I felt it was a deliberate and modest claim hinting at some independent financial choices they had made. It reminded me of a friend working in Fintech, Roxana Mohammadian-Molina, who often quotes her Persian grandmother as having taught her that ‘a woman must have money and a room of her own’.

Breaking the taboo around women’s financial ambition is not unique to the orthodox community. In an era where gender equality is frequently debated, there is one area that is decidedly less developed, particularly in the orthodox world: women’s financial health and wellbeing. In the larger picture, money management, financial ambitions and investing remain a silent subject. Roxana notes that according to a report by Merrill Lynch Bank of America, 61% of women would rather talk about their own death than about money. For many people, women especially, money is filled with emotional meaning as a pathway to protect our family and our children, to provide them with a future. Having money symbolises opportunity, security, status, acceptance and power and its absence can mean the opposite.

There is a lot to be celebrated when orthodox women have a sense of self-sufficiency. Rickie Burman reflects on this changing landscape and the effects migration has had on the woman’s role and her involvement in economic activities over the historical period of 1875-1930, when Jews fled Eastern Europe for England to escape the effects of the Tsarist oppression. The historical predominance of women as breadwinners was an accepted social construct underpinning the life of the shtetl at the turn of the century, where men went to learn, while the women were economically active as midwives, seamstresses, shopkeepers, and saleswomen. By contrast, Burman notes that most orthodox women who settled in Manchester during this period did not work after marriage, as this became the accepted norm. Despite this, there is evidence that a minority of orthodox women developed careers in the market trade, which held important advantages for women including flexibility, self-assurance, and self-sufficiency. In both contexts, Burman concludes that the identity of a community and the woman’s role within it is shaped in part by the response to the society in which it is located.

Enter the story of Haredi women in the Israeli workforce.

Often considered the breadwinners in their households, Haredi women have typically funded and supported their husbands in their pursuit of lifelong learning, particularly following the Holocaust, to sustain cultural longevity. As a result of this responsibility shift, by the 1990s, two-thirds of Haredi women were employed. In July 2010, the Israeli government set employment targets for the subsequent decade for the population in general and Haredim in particular. The cumulative rise in Haredi employment has been credited largely to Haredi women. Between 2010 and 2019, the employment rate of Haredi women grew to 78%, a 21% increase.

All over Israel, orthodox women are now reaping the benefits of shared workspaces and training centres dedicated exclusively to them. Temech, for example, is a workplace hub exclusively for women, and aims to provide the financial, socioeconomic, and professional tools needed to enable them to raise their employability and professional levels. In the US, there are several non-profit organisations, including The Jewish Women’s Entrepreneur (JWE), helping women launch and grow successful businesses by providing local collaborative support networks, business education and mentorship.

They promote business longevity, self-fulfilment, financial independence for women and their families, and job creation to encourage economic development in the Jewish community.

The winds of change are upon us. When I first moved to London from Bristol 20 years ago, I went to work to help support my large family. (continued page 7)

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PRODUCER CHAYA BAUMGARTEN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ZAHAVA MIMRAN EDITING AND PROOFREADING VANESSA AARON DESIGN CHAVA LEAH ROSHA, CHANA LEAH ENGLARD, ESTHER JAROSLAWICZ, RIVKIE BAUM, SHANI WARSHAWSKY PHOTOGRAPHY FAIGE TIEFENBRUN, FOCUS PHOTOGRAPHY, KAYLA HOLLANDER, LEIVI SALTMAN, SOPHY WEISS PHOTOGRAPHY CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES BITZ OF GLITZ, CHAYGIT CUTLER, ETTY HEKELMAN, FAME, HOUSE OF LANCRY BEAUTY CHANI RICHMAN, DANIELLA BROWNSON, TOVA ALTUSKY, KAYLA HOLLANDER, SISSY ROSE DECOR LA BELLE TABLE, TUDOR GREEN FLORISTS CONTRIBUTORS AIDEL PINES, CHAYA BAUMGARTEN, CHAYA MELINGER, ESTHER TAYLOR, ESTI HAMILTON, GILA ROSS, HADASSAH GROSSKOPF, HANNA BRAUN, JANINE ELLERMAN, JUDE FIDDLER, LANA ZISKIND, LAUREN PEDRO, MINDY SINASON, RIVKA GRAHAM OF PAL, ROCHELLE COWAN, SHARI BLACK, SHONY MORDEHAY, SIMCHAS BY SHANA, SISSY ROSE, YAEL SIMON, ZAHAVA MIMRAN FOOD AND RECIPES BAGEL BARS GRILL HOUSE, LEAH HOFF, PETALZ KOSHER FLORAL CAKERY, RIKKI SCHLEIDER, TANYA OHANA FEATURING BATSHEVA NETZER, CHARLOTTE CLIF, DEBBIE LEBRETT, DEBORAH ALCAYDE, DR LYANN GROSS, ELISHEVA KRAMER, NETTA EPSTEIN, RACHELLI LERNER, RINATI DOR DVORSKI, TUDOR GREEN FLOWERS ADVERTISING CHANIE GOLDENBERG, FRAIDY SOBEL, RIVKI INDURSKI FEEDBACK AND ADVERTISING CONTACT@VALOURLIFESTYLE.CO.UK PRINTED BY POWER PRINT, 105 EADE ROAD, LONDON N4 1TJ

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NAME: VALOUR LIFESTYLE CONTACT NUMBER: 0044 7847 362339 REGISTERED BUSINESS ADDRESS: 24 WEST AVENUE, NW42LJ

We are taught early on that marriage is a partnership and within that structure, everyone takes responsibility for the family according to their strengths. I could have chosen not to work, but the inevitability of poverty was not appealing.

The female friends I made in the London orthodox community either did not work at all or worked part time in education or secretarial work. Some were shocked by my full-time employment choice and questioned whether I had my priorities right. ‘Who will take care of the children?’ they asked. ‘Who will pay the bills and make sure that there is food for the children?’ I replied. I was both shaken by the assumption that I was not meant to work and feeling as if I was not doing my job properly in taking care of my family. I wondered if there was some perceived or real cultural fear of women having ambition or taking a leading financial role in their families or the community.

I realised these feelings were misplaced; ultimately, I found myself, my purpose and my work fulfilling, often including my children in various endeavours and campaigns I would run. There was a genuine thrill when I attended my first work conference and spotted a sheitel. My work ethic and views on work-life balance only strengthened from that point. Over the past two decades, I’ve discovered a passion for the causes I choose to champion and the work I do, furthering my higher education, contributing to the community with those skills and sharing all the successes with my family, friends, and young women I mentor. Over time, I found a global community of frum women who work in every industry imaginable with no excuses as to why they could not manage a career and a family – it is a choice and they made it work.

Looking past physical borders, I identified a very talented community of frum female-founded start-ups ranging from crafts to hi-tech. I began networking with them, partly in solidarity to ‘find my people’ and partly because there was so much to learn. Needing to find like-minded women led me to help build some of the burgeoning female entrepreneurial events and networks in the UK, with no equivalent yet in my own community. Within time, I discovered more of my orthodox female friends have gone to work full time, obtained academic qualifications, built small businesses and consultancies, and sought their own careers out of necessity, or not. Does it really matter?

In short, what started as a genuine necessity fostered actual ambition, a word not often heard amongst women in the London orthodox community. The possibilities of what could be achieved and the impact in the world one could have become a tangible reality; it could enliven everything you do. At the same time, we need to recognise that not everyone needs or wants to tread this pathway. If you find yourself content and fulfilled, look no further. But if you know you need more, then pursue this because it could make you a better person, wife, and mother.

Over the pandemic, many of us launched what my mother used to call ‘cottage industries’ - small businesses from home.

I found myself starting a little enterprise selling home-made

babka and delivering it personally door to door, so that I could assuage the effects of lockdown. For me, it was a temporary and fulfilling measure, which did not have a long-term plan.

Suddenly, there were so many of these small home businesses starting up – women making artisanal chocolate, sourdough bread, small catering businesses, luxury gifts and more.

Whether they were born out of need, leisure or personal career growth makes no difference, there are now more than 100 women running such enterprises with promotions and publicity on social media everywhere.

Following on from successful efforts to celebrate Jewish women in business, fashion and art, we should embrace this opportunity for orthodox women in London to catch up with our sister communities around the world in fostering real support, growth, and skills to work and build their own businesses. Financial well-being for women is real and we need information, guidance, and infrastructure to support us.

We should welcome women’s interests, their creativity, and their ambition and create a hub where this can flourish and grow professionally. There is a need for real discourse in this community about balancing work and family because it is clear there are costs when choices are made.

New York, Israel….and finally, London. Now is our time to build and strengthen this new community of orthodox female entrepreneurs and career women and give them every opportunity to succeed. What the Valour brand have launched is the doorway to the next evolution of our development. Our community has only dreamt and spoken of such opportunities, but the action is the main thing. There are several networking outlets in London for orthodox women who work, women who are looking to train and re-enter the workforce and self-help groups; they all set the foundation for the inevitable emergence of the ‘start-up’ orthodox women who are now on the scene. I’m excited to be working with them to meet the professional needs of these enterprising women and expanding the currency and worth of the Valour name. Watch this space.

Yael Simon is a Strategist & Funding Specialist. Serving as a trusted advisor to HNW families, Yael has over 20 years’ strategic funding experience in the corporate and non-profit sector. Yael has dedicated most of her career to research and field development of economic expansion in key regions through Europe, the Middle East and medical healthcare. Yael is a leader, an entrepreneur and a strategist. She is also a writer and public speaker, having appeared at many conferences and events all over the world. She is the founder of Fintel Security, a strategic SaaS solution for companies looking for a financial intelligence approach to mitigate the risks of money laundering, terror financing and sanctions to their corporate reputation and financial success. She is currently establishing global partnerships at the Follicular Lymphoma Foundation to find a cure for a rare blood cancer, and mentors young entrepreneurial women in the community. You can check her out on Instagram @thenonaknows.

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Letter from the editors

D

ear Readers, Chanuka is a time associated with light.

From darkened windows contrasted with the flickering glow of the flames of the menorah, to warm (and often oily) dishes to counter the cold outside and cosy Chanuka parties.

A fire is incredibly transformational. It turns darkness to light, cold to warmth, and raw ingredients to food. At this time of the year, when we are commanded to light candles, we are tasked with using our fire, the incredible power inside of ourselves, to bring more light into the world and transform it. On Chanuka we light candles, yet we also want to light up each other. Each of us is a unique individual and we each have our own light that we can share with others, generating greater clarity in the world. Interestingly, when

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we use a flame to light another, not only does the flame not become smaller when giving of itself, but rather, the light becomes bigger. When we give of ourselves to others, not only do we not become depleted, but we become stronger and brighter.

This magazine is a place where Jewish women of all walks of life can share their talents, skills, and wisdom in a modest way with other women, and where we can champion each other with our power. As Jewish women, we are talented and inspirational and have so much to offer to the world. When we dress and act with modesty, our inner light only becomes stronger and more apparent. Our modesty is a tool and although it may at times be challenging, it can only enhance our inner beauty.

Now that we are finally back into full wedding season, we’ve added a wedding feature to this edition, including dresses, flowers, and a beautiful photoshoot. Weddings are a time of renewal as two souls join together in their life journey. We hope you enjoy this winter edition, and we wish you a warm, light-filled winter!

Love, Zahava and Chaya, The Editors

the Victoria, House of Lancry

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Derhy QUARTZ - Jumper dress, £69.99, Zalando

Monki, Vegan Boots, £40.00, Zalando

COACH bag, £195, The Outnet

Faux fur belt, £49.00, Guess

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White can be worn all year round.

Pair an outfit with a white sweater, or layer a dress with a white coat.

Mix and match white hues and let’s brighten up the winter together.

Editor’s Picks

Winter

Whites Pleated midi skirt £49.99, Mango Gina Tricot, Jumper dress, £43.99, Zalando

Wednesday’s Girl Off White Long Puffer Coat, £59.99, New Look

Photography by Faige Tiefenbrun Makeup by Daniella Brownson

Coat, £199, Guess, Sweater, £29.99; Skirt, £29.99, both Zara

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VALOUR inspiration

Photography by Raw Focus Photography 12

Hadassah Grosskopf

CHANUKA AND PURITY

F

or me, this month is one of the most beautiful times of the year. It gets dark early, it’s cosy inside, and Chanuka is just around the corner.

We know that the best way to light the Menorah on Chanuka is to use shemen zayiz zach, pure olive oil, as it says in Vayikra 24:2, '‫שמֶן ז ַי ִת ז ְָך ּכ ָתִית‬ ֶ ׁ ‫שׂרָ אֵל וְיִקְחּו אֵלֶיָך‬ ְ ִ ‫בּנ ֵי י‬ ְ ‫צ ַו אֶת‬ ‫תמִיד‬ ּ ָ ‫העֲל ֹת נ ֵר‬ ַ ְ‫‘ ’לַמָאֹור ל‬Command the children of Israel, and they shall take to you pure olive oil, crushed for lighting, to kindle the lamps continually’.

At the beginning of the Chanuka story, the Greeks wanted to dilute our purity, to dilute the kedusha within us. Their strategy was to try to take away our holiness by concealing their true intentions and pretend that they weren’t trying to stop us from serving Hashem. They said ‘Sure, light the menorah in the Beis Hamikdash, but just do it with pig fat.’ ‘No problem, get married to other Jews, but first you have to live with a nonJew’.

When we revisit the story of Chanuka, and when we light the menorah in our houses, we sometimes forget that this is the only Jewish Festival where Am Yisrael behaved in a terrible way, and yet Hashem still saved us without us doing teshuva first.

Many Jews at this time had assimilated into the Greek culture which glorified and deified the physical. They had completely abandoned their service of Hashem. In what merit did we justify salvation?

Lighting the menorah was a proclamation that we would do anything for purity. A group of righteous people called the Maccabees stood up and declared NO, this is not the way I want to serve Hashem. They saw the impurity of the Jews around them, and instead of accepting it as ‘their problem not ours’, they had love for every Jew, and they lifted up each fellow Jew around them. They spread their message that Klal Yisrael can do better, and they fought to have their pure Judaism back, risking their lives for their brothers and sisters. And then Hashem showed us that He still loved us, and He chose to save us by letting the Maccabees win.

It’s hard to remember sometimes that Chanuka is a time of year for reflection. When we light the pure olive oil of our menorahs, we stand and thank Hashem for the great miracles that He did for us. As we watch the flames that represent truth flicker and glow, we should be thinking about our own internal spiritual light. Are we striving for purity? How do we serve Hashem? If we are sensitive to being our purest selves, we would start saying no to the things that we know are wrong for us. What do we look at with our eyes? Where do we go with our feet? What words do we say with our tongues? Are we using our bodies for holiness? Or are we still similar to the Greek culture, where our bodies are only worthy if we spend time on them, or look a certain way?

If you look at a kallah on the day of her wedding, she wears a beautiful, pure white dress. Along with her chosson, she spends the time before her chuppah fasting and davening. When else do men and women wear white and fast? On Yom Kippur, when we are representing our purest selves, when the slate is wiped clean from any negative marks we’ve made. Our Sages tell us that when a chosson and kallah stand under the chuppah together it is like a mini Yom Kippur; their slate is wiped clean, their sins are forgiven and they start life together: fresh, new and pure.

A kallah stands under her chuppah looking her most beautiful self, and all eyes are on her as she circles her chosson and davens that they should build together a bayis ne’eman b’yisrael. The holiness and purity that surrounds them is so beautiful to witness as they think about the kind of home they want to build together, one where they strive to serve Hashem with love, holiness and purity. This Chanuka, let’s try to do the same.

Hasassah has been a torah educator for the past ten years.

She loves sharing torah thoughts, and also showing women that modest fashion can be fun and trendy. You can find her on Instagram at @wherefashionmeetstorah where she aims to inspire others to grow in Emuna and find the beauty in living an authentic Jewish life.

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Rebbetzin Esti

THE REAL MIRACLES OF CHANUKA

C

hanukah is a magical time. Lighting the menorah and watching the ever-upwards dance of those small flames which have so much profound meaning. Sitting together with family and friends, eating doughnuts and talking about the amazing miracles that Hashem did for us so many years ago, as well as the miracles that have happened in our own lives. Doing this for eight days develops within us a deepening of our faith in Hashem and His love for us, giving us renewed hope as we face the dark winter months. The amazing thing about a small light is that it has the ability to illuminate an entire room. This is the first lesson Chanukah teaches us. A small flame can bring so much light, helping us to see things that we couldn’t before. So too, when we allow a small bit of positivity into our thoughts and into our conversations, suddenly, we are able to see our whole world in a new light.

We know that the main miracle of Chanukah was winning the battle against the Greeks. We went to war against an enemy who was trying to destroy our spirit, and even though they were so much stronger, better trained and better equipped than we were, we faced them and miraculously won.

And yet, when we sit around our menorah on Chanukah, our focus seems to be on that one small jug of oil and how it stayed alight for eight days. Why do we do this?

When we went to war against the Greeks, Hashem needed to perform a miracle to save us. He needed to step in, to ensure the survival of our small nation. On the other hand, the small jug of oil lasting for eight days wasn’t necessary for our survival, but rather it was a gift. It was Hashem’s direct response to our yearning for connection. The Jewish people came back to the Beis Hamikdash after winning the war, only to see it in ruins. The devastation must have been soul crushing, but instead of focusing on the sadness, they decided to focus on the rebuilding. Not only did they clean the Beis Hamikdash from all the idols, the unkosher animals and the

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rubbish left there by the Greeks, but they also looked for pure untouched holy oil, so that they could relight the menorah.

This right here is really the most inspiring moment of the whole Chanukah story, where we see the indestructibility of the Jewish soul. In our hardest moments, when we feel at our lowest point, we immediately start searching for hope, for a sign, for a way to reconnect with Hashem. We always have the choice in life, even in the darkest of times, to look for a connection. We can look for Hashem and see the miracles, however small they are, even if they are as small as that jug of oil. If we choose to, we can see the small gifts Hashem sends us and we can let it add tremendous light into our lives.

The Chanukah story was a fight for our souls, not our bodies. When we are fighting for our physical life, we do so instinctively. However, when the world around us is saying, ‘Live in our countries, walk in our streets, work with us, eat with us, become friends with us. All we ask for in return is for you to be a little bit less committed to your religion, to your faith.’ What would we do to save our spiritual life? And how committed are we to the survival of our soul?

Nowadays, we are so comfortable where we are that we don’t even know that we are fighting for our souls. When we look at our lives, we have to make sure that the way we serve Hashem is all about the relationship. We should look at the mitzvos that we are already doing and try to figure out a way to fall in love with them. We can look at our Shabbos and think of ways to add more meaning, and look at our committed life and find a way to make it more inspiring.

When our children watch us light the menorah, we should be able to close our eyes because we are feeling the warmth and love of our relationship with our Creator.

There is already so much darkness in the world. The darkness of ignorance, assimilation, violence, and the darkness in our personal lives and the lives of Jewish people around the world. This past year during the pandemic, we have all had to face the darkness. Yet to combat all of that, we each have to remember that we have the capacity to bring light into the world. We may be overwhelmed by the darkness, or we may think that our life is too small to really make a difference. Yet we only have to read the Chanukah story to see how it took just a small group of people to decide to fight for our soul, and how, when we won, it took just a small amount of oil to shine a huge light that lasted for generations.

Chanukah is a story - our story, of courage, faith and resilience. Faith in Hashem and faith in our own capacity to make a difference in this world and to never give up hope.

We all have our ups and downs, our good days and bad days, but our mission is to keep building ourselves up and keep looking for hope. If we focus on the moment that we are in and look to see the miracles around us, we will realise that we are the miracle, and that ours is the brightest light.

Rebbetzin Esti Hamilton writes and lectures widely on contemporary issues. She teaches classes on spiritual growth, character building and relationships, as well as running support groups for parents with disabled children. You can listen to some of her shiurim on www. torahanytime.com. To be in touch with her, or book her for a lecture for your community please email her at rebbetzinesti@gmail.com. You can also follow her on social media: Instagram @rebbetzin_esti_ or Facebook - Esti Hamilton. She is also available through her website www. rebbetzinesti.com.

‘I’m so frustrated!’ Leah vented to me. ‘Every time we go on a date night, it’s always me that plans it. I’m the one who finds a place to go, who thinks of an idea, who puts it in the calendar, who gets the babysitter. I just want my husband to also plan special times for us, at least for my birthday or our anniversary.

Yet every time I bring it up to him, he says to me, ‘But you’re so good at it - I trust whatever you come up with.’ Leah’s husband’s lack of planning had turned into a bone of contention in their marriage. Was this a situation where she just had to bite her tongue... and silently resent her husband’s lack of involvement in planning for special occasions?

We’ve all been in a situation where someone, whether it’s a spouse, a co-worker or a friend does something that bothers us and we aren’t sure. Do we say something, or do we bite our tongue?

Whilst we might think that we should just not say anything, biting our tongue isn’t always the answer. When we don’t address issues, they can fester and cause resentment in the relationship further down the line, such as when your spouse doesn’t put the car keys back where they belong and you spend time looking for them. You don’t say anything because you are trying to be nice, but inside you resent it! And then the next time you find yourself looking for the car keys because they aren’t in their place, you get really angry, until your anger is disproportionate to the deed. When faced with the blast of your wrath, your spouse may feel ‘Woah I didn’t see that coming!’

Imagine if there was a way to address issues and improve your relationship! Let’s see...

What’s a complaint?

When we have a complaint, what’s really hidden underneath it is desire. For example, when I complain that ‘You never put things away!’ I am actually trying to articulate my desire.

Perhaps my desire is to have an uncluttered space, perhaps my desire is to be able to find things easily, or not to trip over things.

Nobody likes hearing complaints; they aren’t very inspiring.

Instead we must dig deeper and see what desire is actually hidden within the complaint, which we can then express in a way that inspires rather than annoys!

I would love!

We can do that by using an ‘I would love’ statement – e.g. ‘I would love to be able to find those car keys’. Instead of being negative, this opens the door to possibilities. Sometimes when we think of what we want, we think of the how, for example we think that we want the car keys to be put in their place. But why do we want them to be put in their place? What will we get?

What will the end result be? The desire is to be able to find the car keys. What if your husband said to you – ‘I’ll buy you a key tracker so you’ll always be able to find the car keys right away?’

Then your desire is being honoured, albeit in a different way than you had in mind.

No ‘you’

It’s important to note that there is no ‘you’ in desire.

For example, it’s very common to say, ‘I would love you to put the car keys back’, yet that’s just a demand on the other person. When there is a ‘you’ in the desire then we haven’t reached the root of what the desire is. What is the end goal that we want?

When we are saying, ‘I would love you to put your phone down when I talk,’ what’s the desire that’s hidden there? What will you get if he puts the phone down? It is likely that the desire is that you want to feel valued or special, or to feel that what you’re saying is worth listening to. So the desire there is: ‘I would love to feel valued.’

Going back to Leah, if she were to explore the desire behind her complaint, she would find that it isn’t just that she wants her husband to plan the date. Would it really satisfy her if her husband asked his secretary to book somewhere for them to go? Probably not! Likely, her desire is that she wants to feel special and loved!

Get rid of expectation

Once we express our desire, we have to get rid of our expectation. It’s easy to express a demand as a desire - to say ‘I would love to go on holiday somewhere warm and sunny,’ and then get disappointed (or worse) when your husband doesn’t book that holiday right then and there! When we express our desire, we are opening ourselves up to possibilities but we are also getting rid of expectations. The last example of expecting a holiday wasn’t actually expressing real desire - the real desire would be what you are hoping to get from that holiday – a change of scenery, a break, or a chance to relax. When we express that desire without expectations then we are opening ourselves up to the possibility of having our desire honoured.

Does this mean that when we express our desire we will get what we want? Of course not!

Hashem knows exactly what is good for us and will direct our lives so that we get it (even if it’s not what we want!). within our power to make situations better. It’s an acceptance that the situation is right for you alone, and it is up to you to remember that what you are given is an opportunity for you to develop your soul and your It’s extremely helpful to live with the knowledge that everything that is happening in our life is from Hashem, and that everything is tailor-made for us and our neshama alone. Although this doesn’t mean that we can’t do what is relationship with Hashem and others.

Go on, try this – I’d love to hear if you gave it a try and to find out how it worked out for you! You can get in touch with me via Instagram @itsgilaross and you can listen to more inspiration on the Powerup Podcast on Spotify, Apple, Google and most podcast apps.

Some of the ideas in this article are taken from Laura Doyle

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Gila Ross

INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING, DO THIS!

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The answer to this question is that in every generation, there are women of valour who are ‘like the merchant ships’, bringing in food from afar. Jewish women have run businesses since time began. After all, Chava was created as ‘Ezer Kenegdo’ – a helper for man. Whilst men and women are biologically different, G-d’s words on creating woman did not limit her potential. G-d did not place a glass ceiling on women; society did.

shet Chayil Mi Yimtza

By Janine Ellerman

VALOUR culture

WHO CAN FIND A WOMAN OF VALOUR? HER VALUE EXCEEDS THAT OF PEARLS.

Janine is a happily married mother and Bubba to her four children and one glorious grandson. In her ‘spare‘ time, she teaches English at Hasmonean High School and is about to embark on her 30th year of teaching.

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Let’s take a look at our matriarchs: Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah. I can’t imagine that any of these women spent all of their time plaiting their hair and painting their faces. What did these women, and many like them, actually do? G-d might have appeared to Avraham, but who probably organised the packing up of the household and made sure that there was enough food for the journey to goodness knows where? Sarah was as much of a kiruv worker as Avraham. According to Rashi, he converted the men towards belief in the One G-d, and Sarah; the Ezer Knegdo, brought the women in.

‘She rises while it is still night, providing food for her household.’

The tent belonging to Avraham and Sarah was open on all four sides. Their hospitality was legendary. I envisage her running a five-star ancient world hotel, where she provides her guests with cream, milk and ‘three tongues in mustard’(Rashi). When they were visited by angels, all the foods Sarah prepared is listed.

If the visitors were angels, then they did not need the food, however the point is to demonstrate Sarah’s hospitality. She made the food that guests would like, even though it involved serving meat and milk together, at a time when they kept all of the Torah laws.

‘She girds herself with strength, and braces her arms for her tasks.’ When Eliezer met Rivka, she had ‘her jug upon her shoulder’. She gave him and his camels water; no mean feat at a time when water was drawn from a well and the camels were seriously thirsty. A camel can drink about 30 gallons of water - and Eliezer had ten camels with him. You can do the maths!

She was not only spiritually strong, but also physically strong - and shrewd. It was Rifka who saw that Yaakov deserved the birth right and who, using the wiles learned from the trickster Lavan, ensured the right son got it. Sometimes in life, as in business, you have to take a more circuitous route to reach the desired result!

Her daughters in law, Rachel and Leah, inherited those wiles as they were descended from Lavan. For the greater good, Rachel taught Leah the secret signs so that she would be spared embarrassment. Both women merited to become matriarchs, and both women had the responsibility of running a huge enterprise of family, shepherds, slaves, goats, sheep, camels and more.

‘She seeks wool and linen, and works with willing hands… She holds the distaff in her hand, and grasps the spindle with both hands.’ Marten Stol, a historian at Leiden University wrote a detailed history of women in the ancient Middle East. His evidence clearly shows that they were busy spinning, weaving, grinding flour and pressing oil. Cloth, garments and even carpets were woven throughout the region bordering the Mediterranean Sea.

‘She makes elegant coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple wool. She makes linen garments and sells them.’ This might have taken place in large workshops, but probably work was also carried out in the home on commission. It is obvious to the historian that women were the weavers at that time, though in later periods it was the men who did the weaving and the women who did the spinning.

‘She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sees that her business goes well.’ The laws of Hammurabi dealt with women in ‘free professions’ such as an innkeeper, a landlady, a wet-nurse, and more. The woman as a brewer or landlady, sometimes referred to as an innkeeper or an ale-wife, deserves special attention.

Our matriarchs would have done all of the below and more: ‘Research conducted by Pat Knapp and Monika von Zell suggests that the work of medieval women was centred around the home.

When industry began to develop outside the house and the home workshop, women's domestic duties frequently prevented them from taking a leading part in the industrial development.

This did not mean that their contributions were lesser, just different. The work patterns of medieval women changed with their marital status. Interestingly, widows were frequently able to practice their husbands' trades, thus ensuring the economic survival of the family. The lower down the social scale, the greater the equality. Peasant men and women worked equally hard and were equally poor. Due to the restrictions placed on the types of work Jews could do in the Middle Ages, there would have been few Jewish peasants in Western Europe, although there is a sneaky reference in the Doomsday Book to a chap called ‘Menasses’ who held three ‘virgates of land’ in Dorset.

Jewish women would have played a key role in all aspects of their families’ business enterprises, whether this was agricultural or financial.’

The wheels of technology turned slowly in the ancient and medieval world. While I am probably making a huge generalisation, it is almost safe to say that the way women contributed economically to their respective societies did not change much for millennia. Whether you were a Sarah in the ancient world, the prophetess Devorah, a refugee in Rome after the destruction of the Second Temple, a Lady Macbeth in the 11th century, or one of Rashi’s daughters in the 12th century, the daily work done by women would have been very similar.

What is clear is that women were not hidden behind the walls of society - they were an integral part of their economic and intellectual environment. Thus Eishet Chayil concludes ‘Give her the reward she has earned; let her deeds bring her praise in the gates.’

Call Peshy on 07896530910 Email peshylevy@gmail.com

Something Sweet for all Occasions

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INSPIRATION

LIGHT UP THE WORLD WITH PAL

Founded over fifteen years ago, PaL is a Phone and Learn organisation which partners up individuals who want to learn together. We asked the phenomenal PaL team Rivka Graham, Blima Bodner, Jessica Debson, and Tali Edwards to answer some of our questions on what PaL has to offer.

How did PaL start?

Rivka: PaL – Phone and Learn, was set up in memory of Sammy Homburger o”h who, as many will recall, had a larger-than-life personality and was a real people’s person.

Everyone who knew him truly felt that they were his best friend, and learning and connecting to people through Torah was extremely important to him. At a large public gathering to mark his sheloshim, Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a close friend, gave an inspirational hesped and suggested that we set up a telephone learning organisation in Sammy’s memory.

That very evening, six members of the Northwest London community stepped up and responded to his call to establish PaL. Our aim at PaL is simple: to connect Jewish people together by sharing the beauty of Torah learning. We believe that every person, no matter their level of observance, knowledge or location, should have the opportunity to learn about their heritage through Torah. Learning on the phone, skype or Zoom means that this can be done at any time and from the convenience of the home. Best of all, it is free of charge. Working closely with many of the educational and outreach programmes in the UK, our mission is as relevant and essential now as it was back in 2004 when PaL was launched.

What services does PaL provide?

Blima: We offer a unique opportunity for both men and women to expand their Jewish knowledge. Our fantastic volunteer tutors are well versed in different topics, and are available at a range of times to learn and connect with their PaL partner. For the initial sign-up, we have a registration process where we build a unique profile. Following this, we find the best-suited person for each individual, and then put the tutor and partner in touch with each other. Once a pair are learning, we provide constant follow-up with support and encouragement to both tutors and partners in order to facilitate the best learning partnership.

We recently launched a library to loan books, which tutors and partners can use during the learning sessions. Our popular online tutor training sessions address various common questions that come up, and are an additional resource. PaL even cover the cost of any overseas calls, ensuring that no one is out of pocket. We are privileged to

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have Rabbi Yaakov Hamer, popular Rov of Bridge Lane Beis Hamedrash, available to answer any questions that arise; his knowledge, wisdom and insight are a massive asset to PaL. What topics do people learn and how long are the sessions?

Blima: Learning sessions take place weekly and range from anywhere between half an hour to an hour. Each partnership chooses the topics that they want to learn, which results in a wide range of topics covered. I would say that the most popular topics would be the weekly Parsha, Pirkei Avos, and improving Hebrew reading skills. Other common topics for men are Mishnayos, Gemara and Hashkafa. We even have a partnership exploring the Jewish approach to Reiki!

What’s the observance spectrum of your community?

Jessica: Our PaL partners cover a full spectrum of different cultures, backgrounds and observance levels, for example, a tutor born and bred in an Ultra-Orthodox community may very well be matched up with a Jewish partner from a totally secular background. We recently received a phone call from a lady in West Sussex, England who had just found out a few days prior that she was halachically Jewish. She is now learning with a South-African born tutor who herself grew up in a secular home and became Orthodox later on in life.

At the other end of the spectrum however, we also have a large repertoire of partners signing up post-yeshiva or seminary. At this point, they are about to enrol in their university or start their working career, but want to stay connected with a tutor that is on a similar observance level to them (known as a ‘chavrusa style’ partnership).

Similarly, middle-aged men or women who have worked their way up in their careers and are yearning for a boost of inspiration and connection to their Judaism may very well be partnered up with someone of a similar academic or career background. While they come from totally different observance backgrounds, they unite for a 30-minute learning session during their lunchbreak.

These partnerships add a weekly inspiration and spiritual boost during the busy routine of everyday life, irrespective of the observance levels of either partner or tutor. We absolutely love the richness of the large spectrum of observance and cultural backgrounds and marvel at what this diversity brings to each unique learning partnership.

With the advent of technology, have PaL learning partners moved to zoom, facetime and other forms of online communication?

Tali: Over time, especially since Covid, people have become more accustomed to using Zoom, WhatsApp, Facetime and Skype. Some of our older members who originally used to learn only over the phone now do some sessions online, allowing them to have a virtual face-to-face connection.

Often, people are concerned about how they will build a learning connection without meeting their partner face to face. We therefore encourage tutors and partners to meet up initially, and even send them a coupon for a coffee and cake.

Subsequently, when weekly sessions take place on the phone or online, many people find it easier to connect after having met up in person. On the other hand, we have tutors and partners who sign up and enjoy the element of anonymity when learning by phone, and feel more at ease to discuss personal issues in this mode. We’ve noticed that there is much more flexibility with the use of technology since the pandemic, and as far as PaL is concerned - whatever works for you is fine for PaL. How long has your longest standing partnership lasted?

Jessica: Fifteen years! Since PaL began over fifteen years ago we have a number of partnerships that have indeed been learning together every week since the very beginning! Let’s put these statistics into context. These partnerships to date have accumulated 15 years of weekly learning sessions and roughly over 700 hours of Torah learning per partnership!

Do you have any interesting testimonies, feedback, or stories?

Tali: You are never too old to experience your first Shabbos!

Douglas, one of our partners based in Glasgow, recently experienced his very first Shabbos at the age of 84 when he was invited to spend it with his tutor Micha in Manchester. Douglas loved every minute of it and has since been back to Micha’s home for more.

Jessica: Interestingly, the very first partner I had the privilege of signing up is a very memorable one. Jenny* was married to a non-Jewish man of Christian and Italian descent. Not long after giving birth to their daughter, the realisation of how important Jewish values were for her became increasingly evident.

Specifically, although Jenny’s father was not Jewish, her mother and grandmother were halachically Jewish. The fond memories of her own childhood punctuated with traditional Friday nights and going to shul on High Holidays sparked her desire to pass on the same Jewish experiences to her own daughter.

Jenny’s marriage unfortunately ended in divorce and soon after that, Jenny signed up with PaL, seeking to ‘start from scratch’ and learn the very basics of Judaism. Fortunately, we have a repertoire of exceptional tutors who volunteer their time for this very purpose. That is where the wonderful Sara stepped into Jenny’s life and began teaching her Jewish concepts that she had never had the opportunity to learn before. Sara and Jenny gelled so beautifully through their learning partnership that to date, Jenny has expressed to us how she very much feels part of Sara’s extended family. Before Covid, they met weekly at Sara’s house and learned a Jewish topic of interest, as well as discussing the running of a Jewish home and what a Jewish family represents. Apart from their weekly meetings, Sara has

also invited Jenny for Shabbos and a Seder night. Jenny’s daughter is now enrolled into Jewish education and is beginning her very own journey in Judaism.

Blima: Recently I was speaking to one of our partners to check in on their partnership. He lives in London and his tutor lives in Gateshead. He told me they were due to meet up in the Lake District over the weekend as they both enjoy hiking and exploring nature. It was so special to hear how this learning connection has developed into such a strong friendship – something we are hearing more often from many of our tutors and partners.

Why do people love learning through PAL? Tali: People love that they can have their own customised learning session at a time of their convenience. With schedules so busy, being able to do a weekly learning session from the comfort of one’s home is key. Each learning partnership also has their own dedicated Partnership Manager who is there to help develop and nurture the learning.

Although the world is changing and technology is filling so many people’s lives, we are observing that many are still keen to connect in a meaningful way, and yearn to feel part of a community. PaL has a wonderfully diverse community of hundreds of exceptional people, all united through sharing the beauty of learning Torah.

An added bonus is that they build connections and often lifelong friendships with their study partners.

Rivka: As a community we are all responsible to encourage those who want to learn more and to enable them to reconnect with their heritage. So if you have a colleague, neighbour, friend or family member who is interested in doing some Jewish learning but is unsure or too nervous to take the plunge, direct them to www. phoneandlearn.org or +44 20 8455 3118 so that they too can be part of this wonderful, inspiring and growing community.

We are always looking for more female (and male) tutors so if anyone feels they want to give of their time and knowledge in a convenient and flexible way, contact us and join the many hundreds of dedicated tutors who are making such a wonderful impact.

In the words of partner Sophia and tutor Sara: “My PaL tutor Sara is absolutely amazing. I've learned so much from her. She really goes out of her way to make the learning meaningful and sends me resources and extra information outside of our learning sessions as well. I can't praise her highly enough.”

“It has been an absolute pleasure and a privilege to learn with my PaL partner Sophia, and I have learned tremendously from her. I really enjoy her insightful and relevant thoughts on the material we learn together.” (*all names have been changed)

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V

mi n i

COMING UP IN OUR SPRING EDITION Children's Special Promote your business with us Email us at contact@valourlifestyle.co.uk valourlifestyle.co.uk

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THE BEAUTY OF JUDAISM EXHIBITION

By Crystal Jones and Zahava Mimran. Photography by Raw Focus - Dina Erlich.

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s a freelance journalist who has worked for almost all of the national newspapers, Crystal Jones had always been an avid art lover, yet she had never ventured into the world of art.

Previously irreligious, Crystal found her way to a life of spirituality and meaning, and is now incredibly passionate about her observance. ‘It takes a tremendous amount of life experience, spirituality, bravery and commitment to acknowledge that Torah is emes, then to implement changes in your life to become fully observant and commit to a religious life with ongoing simcha. But I wanted to show that this can be done and that this is what a truly beautiful life is,’ she says, ‘The joy and depth of frum life cannot be captured in a Netflix show. Television shows are

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always looking to sensationalize because it appeals to a mass narrative – the side where those that have lived this happy life since they were born grow tired and uninspired with it and decide to ‘free’ themselves by assimilating fully into the secular world. It is a tragedy because I have known every joy the secular world can offer and nothing compares to the liberation and connection I feel when I am close to Hashem through mitzvos.’

Unfortunately though, many consider religious Jews, and especially the women, as being oppressed, trapped and unhappy, which couldn't be further from the truth. Crystal found that she just got fed up of hearing and seeing the same bland and unimaginative message from non-Jewish contacts, colleagues and even secular Jews.

With the worldwide perception of

"She realised that art may be the closest she could come to presenting these concepts, and thus The Beauty of Judaism exhibition was born."

“Every piece that I chose spoke to me, and each one in their own unique way showed glimpses of a joyful religious life. ”

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"I feel that Hashem recognised my good intention and that the exhibition was blessed with the presence of the community because of that."

religious Jews very much missing these elements, Crystal set herself to doing something about it. She realised that art may be the closest she could come to presenting these concepts, and thus The Beauty of Judaism exhibition was born.

Each piece and artist that Crystal displayed was carefully curated by herself in advance. She worked with nine artists, displaying four to six pieces by each of them. ‘Every piece that I chose spoke to me, and each one in their own unique way showed glimpses of a joyful religious life. As well as true talent, I chose to only display work by artists who have a positivity and innate happiness, as I am a big believer that this shines through in their work, which would match the ethos of what I

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was trying to achieve.’

Another important factor that made this exhibition so unique was the background of each artist. ‘It was important for me to have a very diverse collection of artists. I included work from artists of different ages and backgrounds, including both Ashkenazi and Sephardi artists. The youngest was 25 and the oldest was in their 80’s. Each one had had their own challenges and achievements in life, and each live a joyful, frum life. One of the paintings (by the phenomenal Victoria Shasha) depicts Ruth, in acknowledgement of the joy that Gerim have brought to our community.’

The exhibition was held in a beautiful gallery in Mayfair, and was extremely busy, with the gallery being packed

pretty much the whole week. Although Crystal had originally planned just one private viewing, she ended up running four, due to the large interest.

‘Amazingly, that was purely from word of mouth as I did not have time to fully market it,’ she says. ‘I feel that Hashem recognised my good intention and that the exhibition was blessed with the presence of the community because of that.’

Although putting the exhibition together took a tremendous amount of effort and many months, Crystal feels

that she was successful in conveying the message she wanted to get across to others. ‘I received a huge amount of positive feedback,’ she notes. ‘So many

people enjoyed it, and a couple told me that they left feeling like they’d had an uplifting experience just from visiting, which made me very happy.’

‘We also sold quite a few paintings too, with all of the artists benefitting from the publicity, and many of them have had new commissions as a result.

So many people told me they had no idea we had such a huge amount of talent in our community, so it was also a pleasure to raise awareness and encourage more homes to have beautiful and unique art adorning their walls.’

Crystal plans on building an online version of the exhibition with the artists who are happy to be represented by her; adding new talent when she discovers it.

She is also looking into the possibility of future exhibitions. The online gallery will hopefully be available from Shevat/ mid-January and can be found at www. thebeautyofjudaism.co.uk.

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t

is for trends

This edition we are focusing on everyday wear; clothes you can wear every day which feel comfortable, cosy, and warm you up. It’s a careful combination of casual but also elegant. Hope you enjoy the pictures - we focused on good quality clothing at affordable prices.

Photography by Faige Tiefenbrun Styling Chaya Baumgarten Makeup by Daniella Brownson Model Nicole Amdurer

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To Shop the Trends

Cable knit button down dress, £89, Fame; Boots, Wide Fit Region leather mid-heel boots, £58, ASOS DESIGN

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Earrings, £16, Bitz of Glitz

Shopthe Shoot

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Grey houndstooth coat £59 Pull and Bear

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Berry tones 30

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Sports luxe

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Pleat maxi skirt ,£48, Fame; Embroidered oversized sweatershirt £25,99, Stradivarius

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New neutrals

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Cardigan, £29.99, Zara

Anorak, £34.99, New Look

Top, £59, Warehouse

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Skirt, £23.99, New Look Tom Ford Eau de Parfum, £142.40, Look Fantastic

Dress, £29.99, Yours Clothing

Dress, £49.99, Zara Boots, £69, Marks and Spencer

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Jumper, £29.99, Zara; Olivia skirt, £79, ModestElegantLife

Editor and Stylist Chaya answers your style dilemmas.

Got a question for Chaya?

Email us at contact@valourlifestyle.co.uk and Chaya could feature your style question in the next issue.

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Q&A

Dear Chaya, I’ve had this question for a long time: How do I dress both modestly and stylishly? Is this not an oxymoron?

Ellie, Hendon

If you feel that your outfit is missing something, or looks too drab, remember your jackets, cardigans, and blazers.

They can instantly elevate any outfit, break patterns, and add colour.

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Hi Ellie, First and foremost, I truly believe that dressing in a tznius manner is beautiful. Whilst it may not always be easy, you can definitely create a modest look that is also gorgeous. Although it’s easier to throw on a black skirt and top combo, when you look good at the start of each day, you’ll feel good too. This will give you the confidence and strength to be the best that you can be and tackle whatever tasks and challenges lie ahead. Here are a few tips to dressing stylishly whilst still being modest.

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Coat, £49.99, H&M

Buy yourself a few special pieces that you absolutely love and that you can throw on without thinking too much.

Gini London dress, £42, New Look

We are definitely lucky right at the moment with the midi and maxi length being in style. Make the most of it whilst you can!

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Mango Bag, £35.99, Zalando

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Invest in some accessories. Once you have a few basic outfits you can go far with accessorising.

ONLY dress, £43.99, Zalando

Pieces earrings, £12.99, Zalando

Have a few basic staples that you can style differently. Play around with colours, shoes, and accessories to jazz things up differently each time.

Baum Und Pferdgarten skirt, £54, The Outnet

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Good luck with your styling, it can definitely be a lot of fun and very achievable, even within modest parameters.

Love, Chaya

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Q&A Dear Chaya, I’ve got a ‘basically okay’ kind of wardrobe, although I do sometimes struggle a little to choose an outfit in the morning. I was wondering why I would spend the money on a personal stylist?

Esther G, Edgware Hi Esther, That’s a great question!

The services of a Personal Stylist used to be viewed as an extravagance. However, it’s become more widely accepted to employ a Personal Stylist to ensure you project the image you want, or to simply help give you your style mojo back. It’s an investment in you! Just like you might get your hair done or employ a personal trainer to help you look and feel your best or opt for an interior designer to help decorate your home. Sure we’ve all been getting dressed and shopping for years, but ask yourself if you’re getting the most and feeling your best in your current wardrobe. A personal stylist can recommend the best clothes for different figures and complexions, save time shopping, and help you to match up outfits.

In a nutshell, a Personal Stylist helps you to align your ‘inner’ image with your ‘outer’ image.

Here are a few more benefits of using a stylist....

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You will never look at your wardrobe again and think, ‘I have nothing to wear.’ We’ve all been there, we stand in front of our wardrobes, which are usually full to the brim, yet we often believe that we have absolutely nothing to wear.

A huge portion of them might be outdated, don’t fit properly, are the wrong colour or size, or are items that just don’t go with anything else. Sound familiar? By booking a Wardrobe Edit, a Personal Stylist will sort and arrange your wardrobe in a way that makes sense. They will go through your wardrobe and determine what needs to be given away and what can be taken to a tailor (a good Stylist will always have a good tailor’s number to hand).

They will then create a list of items to fill any gaps in your wardrobe, so that you won’t have random items that don’t work with anything else.

Most importantly, a Personal Stylist will assess your body shape, your personal and professional image, and your lifestyle, and will work with you to curate a wardrobe fit for all of your needs. You’ll go from having a few tops, skirts, and dresses to having many new looks in a matter of hours!

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2

A personal stylist is trained in dressing all body shapes.

Knowing your body shape is an important aspect of putting an outfit together. Dressing correctly means dressing your body shape and creating balance and proportion. There are several different body shapes, each with its own set of guides and tips to help you find clothing that will look great on you. The perfectly balanced outfit takes into account clothes, fabrics, texture and patterns that both fit and flatter your body. A Personal Stylist works to maximise your best assets, emphasising what you love about your shape and cleverly disguising what you don’t.

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A stylist can teach you which colours are best for you. Wearing the correct colours can make you feel more energised and can dramatically enhance your overall appearance, which is why my Personal Styling appointments begin with a Colour Analysis. The difference wearing the right colour can make to how you look and feel is remarkable – and it can make you look younger too.

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A Personal Stylist will help you get the most for your money They know where to save and when it’s worth it to splash out. They’re here to help you spend smartly, and to make each purchase count. They can help you to invest in good quality and timeless pieces which you can wear again and again.

No longer just for the rich and famous, hiring a stylist is much more affordable than you might think. In the long run it can also save you time and money. Women hire me for all kinds of reasons. Some are just looking for a pick me up, others are looking for specific investment pieces. Some have a really hard time finding clothes that suit their body shape, whilst others are looking to stop buying fast fashion and find some key pieces to last. I have clients who don’t have the time to shop but need a cohesive and easy wardrobe and ladies who have all the time to shop but just don’t know where to start. Whatever their needs, I’m here to care of them.

Happy Styling, Love Chaya

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Favourite Outfit?

Midi knit dress with boots

"I love wearing a slip skirt or a denim midi skirt"

"Go-to nail colour?

I like neutral-coloured nails - usually white"

Netta Epstein All Smiles gold-plated pearl earrings, £135, Marta Calvo, Net a Porta

Oversized wool blazer, £165, Other Stories

I never skip my Nars concealer!!!

Nars Concealer, £21, Boots

"Best piece of jewellery my engagement ring" 40

"A classic must have piece this season?

An oversized blazer"

London based Netta Epstein is a teacher, wife and mother to three gorgeous children.

She loves fashion and feels that Instagram is a powerful tool which can allow people to express their creativity. Her aim is to show people that dressing modestly can be fun, creative, and fashionable, and to empower others to feel pride in keeping this beautiful Mitzvah. You can check her out on Instagram @Modest_mode_.

VALOUR health

Photo: Sophy Weiss 41

Sissy Rose

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y first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, so when I fell pregnant again with my now 2 year old daughter I was over the moon with joy. Although I was terribly sick during the first trimester, I still loved every second of it and made sure to do ‘all the right things’. I will always remember attending birth classes, and how at the end of the last session my instructor mentioned that we shouldn’t be worried if we don’t feel an instant connection to our baby - sometimes it can take time, and I thought to myself, ‘What kind of monster doesn’t feel a connection to their baby - how is that even possible?’.

Well, it turned out that I became ‘that monster’.

The day arrived and I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl. There I was lying in bed, weak, exhausted and in pain.

Finally, I was a mother. She was the cutest little baby girl. Yet I felt nothing. The only emotion I felt was anxiety. Had she eaten enough? What if she starved? Is she too hot, too cold, is she breathing?

The following day we were discharged, and we called my mother-in-law around to help give her a bath. I couldn’t watch, I ran to the other room. What if she bangs her head or drops her?! I just couldn’t bear the thought. The next few days continued like this, with awful anxious thoughts racing through my head, and then suddenly the darkness hit. I felt dead inside. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. All I could see when looking at my gorgeous daughter was resentment; I didn’t want to care for her.

It all came to a breaking point on a Friday afternoon. She was extremely unsettled, so I called my husband home to take over and I went to have a shower. Standing under the jets of steaming water, I broke down. My tears mingled with the spray as I bawled and cried hysterically. My husband ran in, not knowing what was going on or what to do - he had never seen me like this before. He called my mother for help, telling her that I was really not doing well, but she just blamed it on the ‘baby blues’. The following week we flew home to Switzerland for Pesach and I spent the majority of the time in bed, crying, hardly taking care of my own baby and missing most of the meals.

When Pesach was over, we flew back to Manchester, and the very next day found me sitting in the doctor’s office, telling him everything that I was feeling and what had been going on. He diagnosed me with severe PPD/A and put me on medication and a course of therapy. Ashamed and embarrassed, my husband and I made sure to keep all of this quiet. I felt like a complete failure - my friends and siblings all had a lot of kids and none of them had gone through this and had to go on medication – why had this happened to me?

Over the next few months my depression went from bad to worse, each day was more of a living nightmare than the one before. I felt scared, alone and in such a dark, dark place where I hated every second of my life. I would sit on the couch crying my eyes out. One moment I would be sweating and my heart would be racing, the next moment I would be shivering and trembling with cold. I had a constant knot in my stomach - some days I woke up crying hysterically, asking

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my husband to please not go to work as I couldn’t handle being home ‘alone’.

Things slowly started to improve at around 7 months and that’s when I decided that I needed to tell my closest friends what was going on. They did have a hunch that something wasn’t right - I had never joined them for baby classes or met them for lunch. One evening we sat in the car and I told them everything that had been going on. Of course, they weren’t surprised because they knew something hadn’t been right, but they had had no idea to what extent I had been suffering. They didn’t judge me or look at me any less, they just felt sad for me; sad that they hadn’t known and that they hadn’t been able to be there for me at a time when I needed them most. ‘From now on,’ I was told: ‘If you ever feel sad, anxious, alone or down, call straight away and one of us will come over. Even if it’s in the middle of the night we will stay on the phone with you!’ It was such a relief - I finally didn’t have to pretend or put on a show. I wasn’t lonely anymore.

And yes, I still felt sad and anxious but I had my wonderful understanding friends who would always be there for me. I did call them up, anxious about things that most moms don’t panic about, but they understood why I was panicking, they calmed me down and helped me.

Slowly but surely, I got better. Things became easier and more enjoyable. I actually started to enjoy my daughter’s company - I used to have to force myself to talk to her (it’s important for their development so yes, I actually had to force myself to talk to my own child) but now I love it. I love her, I’m maybe even somewhat obsessed with her.

Looking back, I can’t imagine ever not having that instant love and connection with her but I understand now that it wasn’t my fault and I don’t have to be embarrassed about it. I wasn’t well. I didn’t ask for this to happen to me but it did, and I was finally able to take control and get the help I needed. My doctor told me I should consider myself lucky for seeking help relatively early. He has mothers coming to see him a year in, still suffering, and only then realising that something’s not right. Just like when you have a headache you take paracetamol, I had to take medication for my ‘headache’, and I shouldn’t have to be ashamed of it. If only I had told my friends sooner, I wouldn’t have had to go through it alone; they would have sat next to me while I cried and taken me out to cheer me up.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because PPD is spoken about enough in our community. It is still something that most women are ashamed of and keep quiet about and it shouldn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Talk it out, get the help that you need and deserve. Don’t feel like a failure, because you are not! You are amazing and you WILL get through it. You are the best mummy for your baby even if you think otherwise right now. Your baby loves you!

I believe I went through what I went through for a reason and if I can even help just one struggling mother out there then it will have been worth writing my story.

Hang in there Momma, YOU GOT THIS.

At times it feels like the people of our community are neatly boxed up by the language we speak, our place of birth, style of dress, or the length of our wigs. Yet every one of us has ways in which we don’t fit in, and in essence we are all square pegs in a round hole, creating one beautiful, multi-diverse family.

In ‘faces of our community’ we feature regular women living around us who have a story to tell, and by doing this we show that in reality each one of us has her own story, her own differences and individualities. To share your story with us either publicly or anonymously get in touch with us at contact@valourlifestyle.co.uk.

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HEALTH

LET’S TALK ABOUT PERINATAL MENTAL HEALTH

By Rivki Dwek Leah lies awake watching the rise and fall of her sleeping 10 weeks old’s chest. He has just finished his midnight feed and she knows that she has a two and a half hour stretch before he wakes up again. She is exhausted and is aware that this is her chance to sleep, yet whenever she drifts off she wakes in a panic, her heart palpitating and her chest full of heavy pressure, imagining all the horrifying, tragic things that may happen to her baby whilst she sleeps.

‘Where is the tomato puree?’ asks Chana rummaging through the shopping bag her husband has just put down, ‘Where is it?’ She dumps the contents onto the kitchen table and turns to her husband in anger, ‘Why can’t you ever do anything right?’ she screams, ‘I ask you to do one thing for me and you can’t, why are you always so useless?’

She stops short, seeing her husband’s shocked face, then runs past him, locks herself in her bathroom and bursts into tears. What is happening to her? She feels as if she is losing it. She spends her days crying for no reason, uncharacteristically snapping and raging at her three-yearold, her husband, and just not feeling herself.

Rachel sits in her 8am meeting trying to concentrate on the day’s briefing but her heart is in her throat. Under the table, she prods her stomach, trying to feel movement, any sign that her baby is alive and kicking. As each second ticks by, she feels herself become increasingly anxious. ‘Calm down,’ she thinks. ‘You felt the baby last night; it’s probably just sleeping. She prods harder, ‘But what if…’ She blinks back tears, her mind flashing back to eight months ago when her previous pregnancy ended at 14 weeks. She tries to focus on her boss’s words but her mind is racing. Perhaps she should excuse herself and check into the antenatal triage; or perhaps she should go to the canteen, buy herself an energy drink, and see if the baby reacts.

Leah, Chana and Rachel are all likely to be suffering from a perinatal mood disorder.

We all have mental health and physical health problems; it just so happens that we talk and deal more with our physical health than our mental health. Mental health refers to our emotions, specifically our emotional reactions to situations and events. Often, when one begins to experience a mental health issue it can be a normal reaction to an unusual event.

Which is why becoming a parent often triggers mental health problems in many people. During the perinatal period (from conception until one year postpartum), 1 in

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4 women will suffer from a mental health disorder. Recent evidence has highlighted that fathers are vulnerable too, with 1 in 10 dads suffering with their mental health during this period.

A perinatal mood disorder, (PNMD) refers to a range of common mental health struggles that are triggered during the perinatal period. These can affect any woman (or man) regardless of age, income or culture. It can occur after one’s first baby or after one’s sixth baby. There is no single cause for perinatal mood disorders, and they are not triggered by something the subject has done wrong. They can be triggered by the adjustment to the life-changing event of having a baby, hormones or experiencing difficult circumstances such as a difficult patch in one’s relationships, a stressful move or job stress. We do know that some women with specific difficult life experiences are more at risk of developing a PNMD and that women with certain illnesses, in particular bipolar and schizophrenia, are proven to be more at risk of developing a severe disorder.

I think I’m struggling with perinatal mood disorder, now what?

First of all, know this. You are not to blame. Neither are you the only person struggling, and there is help out there.

It is perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions during the perinatal period. 80% of women feel weepy, irritable and low in the first two weeks after birth. This is called the ‘Baby blues’ and is caused by the change in hormones that occurs after having a baby. This usually resolves itself by two weeks post-birth. If it lingers for longer than this, or if you experience mood swings that are rapid and manic, it may be a sign of a PNMD. Without doubt, motherhood can be extremely challenging and it’s perfectly normal to feel anxious and experience low mood from time to time. However, if symptoms last for two weeks or more and begins to impact your daily functioning, it is important to seek support.

What are the symptoms of a perinatal mood disorder?

Symptoms can vary and women can feel one or two emotions or a whole range at different times. You may feel sad, depressed and cry a lot. You may feel inadequate and worthless, especially regarding thoughts about being a good enough mother. You may feel strong anxiety, tension and fears around motherhood, safety and other things. You may be unable to sleep, despite feeling exhausted or you may have low energy and exhaustion even though you are sleeping more than usual. You may have trouble focusing, remembering things and making decisions. You may suffer restlessness and irritability and find yourself snapping uncharacteristically and exploding into fits of rage. You may notice a change in appetite or a change in weight. You may experience scary and intrusive thoughts that you feel unable to control, and these may be accompanied by unwelcome vivid images.

Some women feel despair and some entertain thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Sometimes, symptoms can take on a somatic nature and women suffer from tension headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations, numbness and hyperventilation.

It is important to mention that 1 in 1000 women will suffer from Postpartum Psychosis. If you or someone you know begins to hear, feel or smell things that are not present (hallucinations), start to believe and think things which are unlikely to be true or experience confusion, manic behavior and rapidly changing mood swings, then contact emergency services right away. Post-Partum Psychosis is a very serious illness that needs immediate medical intervention.

The good news is that for most, perinatal mood disorders can be resolved. Early intervention is key as there is a risk for PNMD to spiral and turn complex with time.

How are Perinatal Mood Disorders treated?

PNMD is a real medical illness and needs to be treated as such. Treatment options depend on symptoms and severity. A range of therapies or medications can be used and in some cases a combination of the two. Recovery time varies but most women start to feel better a few weeks into treatment.

PNMD in our community Although there have been great strides in talking about mental health in our community, Perinatal mental health remains misunderstood and symptoms are often pathologized and passed off as a normal part of pregnancy and postpartum. Women are often told to ‘snap out of it’, ‘pull themselves together’ or told they are ‘ungrateful’. Additionally, a great deal of stigma surrounds PNMD. After all, many of us recognise the true value of motherhood and it is particularly difficult for a Jewish woman to admit motherhood has triggered emotional struggles. This is a major barrier preventing our mothers from accessing support. There is also a major fear that admitting one is struggling will result in them being seen as a bad mother or in the worst-case scenario having their children removed from their care. In fact, asking for help

HEALTH

when you don’t feel right shows tremendous courage and excellent parenting. You are not to blame and you haven’t done anything wrong. Just like you wouldn’t hesitate to see a doctor if you had a pain in your stomach or a broken leg, you shouldn’t hesitate to seek support for perinatal mood disorders - they are real medical illnesses that need treatment. Similarly, there is a lot of fear around medication. Some women need to take extra iron during pregnancy or after. In the same way, some women benefit from taking medication for a little while, such as anti-depressants to help their hormones balance and recover during the perinatal stage. There really is no difference.

The risks of not seeking help for PNMD can be terrible. It is imperative to seek support.

A word about Menucha Menucha is an organisation specialising in Perinatal Mental Health. Set up by women with experience in perinatal health, it was developed with the Orthodox Jewish woman’s voice at its core. We provide high quality perinatal mental health support with advice, referrals, specialised culturally appropriate psychotherapy and Perinatal Occupational Therapy. We also help mothers access physical support. We are an extremely safe service and confidentiality is of top priority. Since launching, we have helped over 80 women recover. If you have any further questions about Perinatal Mood Disorders and think you or someone you know might benefit from our services, please call 0300 222 5764, Monday - Friday: 9.30am - 1.30pm, Monday - Thursday: 8pm - 10pm

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…About Perinatal Mood Disorders Motherhood should be a joy. But 1 in 4 women suffer from a perinatal mood disorder. Perinatal means from conception to 18 months post-birth. Mood disorders include anxiety, depression, OCD, and birth trauma.

Those affected feel isolated and reluctant to talk about their experience. That’s why Menucha was launched to provide advice, support, and understanding.

Call us on

0300 222 5764

Monday - Friday: 9.30am - 1.30pm Monday - Thursday: 8pm - 10pm

If you or someone you know could benefit from Menucha, let’s talk.

www.menucha.info

Under the guidance of Rabbi S F Zimmerman and endorsed by local Rabbonim.

Registered Charity Number 1188418.

Pelvic Health By: Rochelle Cowan, Women’s Health Physiotherapist

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here is a mitzvah in the Torah that tells us '‫ׁשתֵיכ ֶם‬ ֹ ְ‫מאֹד לְנַפ‬ ְ ‫ׁשמַרְ ּתֶם‬ ְ ִ ‫ 'ו ְנ‬- we are commanded to look after our bodies a lot. It is one of the only places in the Torah where the word ‫מאֹד‬ ְ - a lot, is used, which highlights the importance of this mitzvah. ‫ׁשתֵיכ ֶם‬ ֹ ְ‫ נַפ‬encompasses our mental, emotional and physical health and it is the responsibility of each person to look after themselves in all of these ways. As Jewish women, we have the potential to place a lot of strain on our pelvic floor muscles throughout our life cycles, and it is important to know the best way to take care of them.

As many as a mind-blowing thirty three percent of women will experience some sort of pelvic floor dysfunction in their lives, yet unfortunately, only a small percentage of those will seek help.

What are the pelvic floor muscles?

The pelvic floor muscles are the muscles that sit like a hammock at the bottom of our pelvis. They have a number of functions in the body including bladder and bowel control and pelvic organ support. They also help to form ‘the core’ which creates our internal stability and gives us the strength to be able to live strong and healthy lifestyles.

We use our core in a variety of functions of daily living, for example lifting, pushing buggies, sneezing, coughing, exercise and running.

As women, we go through many different phases and stages in our lives from childbirth all the way through to menopause, and symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction can occur at any stage. Symptoms can include urinary leakage, urgency and frequency, constipation, pelvic pressure or persistent pelvic pain. It is important to recognise that these symptoms, although common, are NOT normal and there is freely available help. A very common treatment for some women who suffer from pelvic disorders is to strengthen the pelvic floor by incorporating easy pelvic exercises into their everyday life. For those who would like

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to give them a try, here are three basic ones that you can do at home.

1. Breathing: allow the air to reach all the way down to your belly, and feel the pelvic floor expand with your breath. A nice position to do this in is lying on your back. Take 4 deep breaths, hold for 2-3 seconds, then exhale slowly.

Repeat 4 times.

2. Upon exhaling, squeeze your pelvic floor and hold for up to 10 seconds, making sure you are breathing at the same time. Repeat 10 times.

3. Upon exhaling, squeeze your pelvic floor. Hold for 1 second and release. Repeat 10 times.

It is possible to perform a pelvic floor contraction incorrectly. If any symptoms increase, or if you are not sure that you are performing them correctly, then it is advisable to get checked by a Women’s Health physiotherapist who can help to teach and guide you.

Rochelle Cowan is an Australian physiotherapist who currently lives and practices in London. After qualifying in 2001, she went on to obtain a post-graduate certificate in exercise for women. She uses her life experiences along with her professional knowledge to provide evidencebased treatment to help women alleviate their symptoms. Rochelle uses a very holistic approach to her work and her aim is to empower women with knowledge and tools to deal with their conditions and to normalise the conversation surrounding pelvic health. Whatever the goal, she will give you the tools and knowledge to improve your condition.

Rochelle can be reached on 07415 50 5858, or through her website: vital-physio.co.uk

Exercising for Maternal Mental Health

By Chaya Mellinger Chaya Domnitz is a prenatal and postnatal specialised personal trainer based in North West London. For exercise advice, tips and motivation you check out her Instagram @ eat.burn.live, or visit her Facebook page @eat.burn.live. If you have any questions or for more info, feel free to contact her. Please consult your doctor before completing any prenatal or postnatal exercise programme.

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e’re lucky to live in a time where the dialogue regarding exercise during the prenatal and postnatal period is changing. With so much more accessible knowledge regarding exercising safely and intelligently, medical advice now promotes prenatal and postnatal exercise when done in a safe way. Whilst many women focus on exercising for weight loss, when we redirect our motivation to exercise for fitness we can tap into the transformative power of exercise for physical and mental health. Particularly at this stage in life, where many women struggle with perinatal and postnatal disorders, the benefits of exercise can be life-changing. Contrary to popular belief, exercise does not necessarily require a huge amount of time and skill; rather it’s about smaller lifestyle changes you can make to support yourself throughout this time.

The prenatal and postnatal time is full of changes to every aspect of a women’s life - never will something change your routine, body, identity and dictate your time in such a way. It is natural that every woman experiences days during this period where they struggle with motherhood and this new identity. Scientific research and trials have proven that exercising throughout pregnancy and in the postpartum period significantly reduces your chances of postpartum depression. Therefore, putting physical benefits aside, we’re focusing in this article on exercising for mental health.

Here’s my motivational tips on how to exercise during this period: Prenatal Throughout your pregnancy, it is important to keep active, with 150 minutes a week of exercise being the recommended minimum. Keep in mind though, that from the second trimester onwards you will need to modify many abdominal focused exercises. Exercising during pregnancy empowers

you to have some sense of control over the changes occurring in your body. When you stay active, you will find that you feel physically stronger, you have more energy and an easier postnatal recovery. In the first trimester, many feel sick and lack energy.

Exercise may well be the last thing on your mind but amazingly, exercise actually helps to minimize nausea and to increase energy. My tip is to keep active and do your workouts early in the day, as you’re likely to have less energy as the day goes on. Unless you are having a high-risk pregnancy or are medically advised otherwise, pregnancy is no reason to stop a safe exercise programme. Take longer rest periods, listen to your body and modify throughout, but carry on and enjoy exercising; you will see what a positive pregnancy you have.

Postpartum When you are newly postnatal, you’re likely feeling weak and exhausted, and every spare second is precious. Exercise may be the last thing on your mind and sound too stressful, which is why I encourage my clients to focus on movement.

You will have enough voices telling you to take it easy, rest, and stay in bed. Yes, sleep is the number one priority. But when you’re not catching up on sleep, prioritise nourishing yourself by eating well and getting your weekly required movement in. There are so many health benefits to maximising movements in the postnatal stage: Pregnancy and birth are a stress on your body and the postnatal period is a time to rehab and rebuild your strength. There’s no bounce back, however, safely and gradually you can work your way back to a strong body.

The psychological benefits of exercise at this time are as (if not more) important than the physical benefits, especially if you are struggling with your mental health. Physical activity releases dopamine,

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norepinephrine, and serotonin which play an important part day with your baby or whilst they nap is the best way. Taking in regulating your mood and increasing feelings of happiness. long walks whilst pushing your baby in a pram is great for vitamin D and low intensity movement, and you’ll probably Motherhood is a journey and you give so much of yourself all never have a time in your life that your child is so easily the time! When you take some time for yourself, you become entertained. So enjoy lots of nice walks together! Be mindful mentally and physically able to keep giving to your family of your birth experience when choosing which exercises to do, and never compare yourself to others or to your previous whilst not losing yourself. postnatal experiences.

Exercise is a physical and mental challenge. When you see yourself able to progress and do things you previously Exercising through pregnancy loss, treatment and infertility couldn’t, you take that physical and mental energy with you Exercising through this time is challenging, as you may want to be extra cautious. The mental benefits of exercise will into your life. lessen the stress and help you through this uncertain time.

Exercise gives you structure. Once the baby arrives your daily routine will disappear. It may feel that your time is no longer yours. Creating a routine, even if it’s just starting the morning with a walk or some stretching, puts you back in control of your daily schedule.

Low mood is often exasperated by physical changes and many women feel upset that they have ‘lost’ their prepregnancy body, whether it be weight gain, loss of muscle strength or other postnatal changes. When you rebuild your strength through a supportive exercise programme you learn to appreciate what your body is capable of. It has stretched to hold a child and has returned to strength. Shifting away from weight loss, you focus on a positive relationship with your body.

In order to make an exercise programme work long term, you need to look at your lifestyle, your support network and your usual habits in order to find the right exercise for you, which fits into your schedule and childcare. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ with exercise, and it’s important to modify your workouts throughout the stages, and to always seek advice from professionals. See your exercise as a necessary form of therapy; you would find childcare for a medical appointment, so don’t be scared to ask your support network to help out so that you can get your workouts in.

When can I exercise again and what can I do?

It is advised not to exercise until 6 weeks postnatal. This gives your body recovery time and is when you will have your medical check-up and be signed-off to exercise. I advise that in addition to this, every woman should have a postnatal health check, which is carried out by a woman’s health Physiotherapist capable of doing a full assessment. You can then design your fitness programme accordingly. Otherwise, if you are training with a personal trainer, make sure they check how your core is functioning during the exercises.

In the early days, the best exercises to do are stretching and diaphragmatic exercises so that you are ready to exercise at a higher intensity once you have the all clear from your doctor (usually at the 6-week health check). This can all be done with babies sitting in a bouncer, or lying down next to you on a mat. It doesn’t matter if it takes all day to get it done, you don’t get long periods of free time as a new mum, but there are many small increments and they all add up.

At this stage, don’t push yourself to wake up early or stay up late to exercise, you need your sleep. Finding time during the

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However, every person’s situation is unique and I advise you to consult medical advice and have someone to closely guide your exercise programme. What is important to recognise, is that whatever the outcome of a pregnancy, a women’s body will always be postnatal afterwards and the same exercise guidelines apply.

Whilst there are general exercise guidelines, no rule fits all, and the key to a sustainable workout programme is to modify accordingly. If you need some help, you can also seek professional advice for a programme which suits your level. Exercise is all about challenge, empowerment and strength, and we modify it throughout our lives to strengthen us. Committing to an exercise programme through this time of extreme change in your life is the biggest gift you can give yourself and your child. The more you are, the more you have to give, so fill yourself up first.

HEALTH

MAKING PEACE WITH YOUR BODY: INTUITIVE EATING

By Mindy Sinason

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sk anyone what the underlying principle of dieting is, and 99% of the time you will get the same answer, in varying forms: restriction. Food management, self-regulation, abstention – it all boils down to the principle upon which the multi-billion industry is founded, that the only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you eat. However, in recent years, as millions of people around the world have come to the realisation that self-deprivation is not a sustainable way to maintain a healthy weight, a new understanding of healthy food intake has emerged. The origins of intuitive eating may be murky, but its core message is clear.

It’s a process that focuses on building a healthy body image, tuning into your body and making peace with food.

All dieters are familiar with the demoralising cycle of denying oneself a calorific food, only to guiltily consume a larger-thanoriginally-intended quantity later (think entire chocolate bar!).

Many can identify closely with the trapped feeling of avoiding social situations, which are usually centred on food, for fear of eating something ‘forbidden’. Being out-of-control around food leads to strong feelings of shame and humiliation, which in turn leads to the perception that you are somehow unworthy because of it. That shame and humiliation turns into the bynow familiar resolve: the diet starts tomorrow! Since this is the last day that you are going to eat before you start to eat ‘sensibly’, your food consumption takes on the proportions of the ‘last feast’ and you end up eating everything within sight and range. This again results in intense guilt and selfflagellation, and so the cocktail of negativity continues. In this light, does anyone still think the tried-and-tested (and, for the most part, failed) method of deprivation, denial and despair is worth sticking with?

Intuitive eating isn’t about giving up. It’s about gaining selftrust. So why isn’t it more popular? If it will avoid the negative physical and emotional effects of dieting as we currently know it then why aren’t more people embracing it?

The hesitancy of people to adopt this approach is based largely on the fear of weight gain. People start out on their dieting journey with a fixed goal – they must reach a certain weight, size and image. This fear needs to be recognised as a legitimate one, however what isn’t usually recognised is that dieting is not just unsustainable most of the time, but in fact it often causes weight gain in the long run.

Why Diets Fail Diets essentially try to fight the body’s natural processes – with pretty poor results. Research shows that two thirds of dieters regain more weight than they lose. Dieting causes glycogen to be burnt, in order to prevent sugar levels from falling too low. This in turn, depletes your glycogen reserves and the water associated with it, hence your weight drops. This initial weight loss success encourages you to keep going, by which point you’re in a negative calorie balance, and you lose more weight. Everything’s going swimmingly, right?

Right. Except that as you lose weight, your body gets the message that food is in short supply. It reacts by effecting a change in your appetite, which means that a whole variety of foods starts to tempt you, when you had never so much as looked at them before. Secondly, it triggers hormones which influence your food choices and in turn manifests in cravings.

And that’s when things start to fall apart.

If you have been through this process, you will have noticed that at this point, your weight loss plateaus, and your body will do whatever it needs to do to keep itself alive. Once the weight loss slows, you become frustrated, and all it takes is one stressful incident to throw you off track (and the combination of hunger, a change in appetite, and cravings produce plenty of stress on their own). Now, since dieting is a form of shortterm starvation, your first opportunity to really eat is often experienced with such intensity that it feels uncontrollable. In fact, this is the body’s natural response to starvation.

Are we complimenting sickness?

Reading the four-word line above, many people may instinctively recoil and respond with an emphatic, ‘No!’ Except that the truth may be a little more uncomfortable than that. Too many times people have been complimented on weight loss that is actually due to physical, mental or emotional illness. Those with eating disorders become society’s heroes of self-control and beauty. Well-meaning, ‘ You look amazing!’ comments only cause the recipient to feel isolated from the admirers. If the only way of achieving the magical number on the scale or label is by illness, that elusive goal is obviously not a desirable one.

For decades though, people have aligned themselves with a diet mentality. 73% of women and 55% of men report

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HEALTH a desire to weigh less. It’s almost like there's something in our culture teaching us to hate our bodies if they don't meet an impossibly thin ideal.

Intuitive eating, by contrast, places strong emphasis on body positivity and follows the ten basic principles below.

1. Reject diet mentality. You don't fail diets, diets fail you! Dieters have a constant awareness of food and how they believe it affects their bodies. They make choices based on an attempt to be healthy or look a certain way. The first step is to get rid of that mindset and consider facts like hunger, cravings and what the body wants.

2. Honour your hunger. Restricting food causes an urge to overeat. Take Chaya*, a used-to-be-dieter, who recalls how she previously ate minimally in the day. Then, having reached her limit by the evening, she found herself eating whatever was in her reach. This step is where we learn to recognise hunger and fullness cues.

3. Make peace with food.

Learn that food isn't the enemy. The food that you are terrified to have in the house is exactly what should be available to you as often as possible, as the sense of being denied something only creates stronger cravings to eat it.

Unless you have an allergy, no food is off- limits. Zeesy, a new intuitive eater, related how giving herself unconditional permission to eat gave her the feeling of freedom and avoided feelings of deprivation, which in turn lessened her desire to overeat.

4. Challenge the food police. No food is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Similarly, no food is ‘junk’ or ‘rubbish’, unless it’s mouldy.

Stop moralising food!

5. Discover the satisfaction factor. Food is for nutrition as well as for pleasure.

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FOLLOWS THE TEN BASIC PRINCIPLES TO BODY POSTIVITY

Make your eating experience pleasurable.

Eat what you enjoy in an environment that you enjoy. Practice eating mindfully: allow yourself to fully feel the temperature, taste and texture of the food. By absorbing the full experience, you are more likely to be satisfied.

6. Feel your fullness. Not only should you honour your hunger, but you should feel your fullness too! Paying attention to current hunger levels and recognising when you are satisfied will enable you to make the choice whether to continue eating or to stop.

7. Treat your emotions with kindness. The phrase ‘emotional eating’ is thrown around a lot, mostly in a negative context. In reality though, emotions dictate what we eat much of the time. We eat at social gatherings, and food is central to simchos. We also eat when things are stressful and when we want to numb our feelings, and this makes logical sense. Be compassionate when that happens; recognise it, and make sure you have other coping techniques as well.

8. Respect your body. Fat bodies are not failed thin bodies! 70% of a person's size is down to genetics. Social media and magazines, not to mention well-meaning relatives, give us unrealistic expectations of how our bodies should look, causing low selfesteem and negative self-judgement. These expectations make it harder to reject the diet mentality.

9. Movement. Sara hated exercise, but when she dieted, she gamely kept to a strict daily regimen, determined to burn off the calories that she had consumed that day. As a result, she developed a loathing for exercise and bodily discomfort. Intuitive eating focuses on exercise that resonates with you, not on how many calories are lost. Focusing on exercise that makes you feel good will motivate you to stay active.

10. Honour your heath: Gentle nutrition.

Nutrition is an important aspect of intuitive eating, in fact noted nutritionists Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch were strong advocates of intuitive eating. Black-and-white characterisation of food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ elicit shame and guilt if the ‘wrong’ choices are made. Gentle nutrition is flexible, and guides you to choose foods that make you feel energised and nourished.

So as you can see, intuitive eating is neither magic pill nor fluffy pipe-dream. It focuses on the natural processes of the body and mind, channelling them in a physically and emotionally healthy manner to be conducive to a happier and healthier lifestyle. Make no mistake, though – it’s hard work. Not because it involves starvation and backbreaking exercise, but because it requires letting go of long-held, and widelyheld, prejudices about diets and our bodies, and accepting ourselves with positivity.

Mindy Sinason is based in Manchester and can be reached via Instagram @Mindysin96. *All names have been anonymised.

VALOUR eats

Photography by Sophy Weiss Drink by Garlic & Ganache Diamonds by Michelle Collection Styling by Chaya Dishes by La Belle Table

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Ma

Mikasa

Villero

WINTER WARMERS

by Garlic & Ganache

Just what this weather calls for; something hearty and hot to cosy up with whilst on the couch with a good book - or magazine - but hey, you’ve got one in your hands already!

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axwell and Williams Boho Dishes, From £6 a Cheers Martini Glasses, £25 for 4 oy and Boch Grand Royal Glassware, from £29.52 Tablecloth, from £50 All dishes available from La Belle Table

RECIPE

CREAMY PEA SOUP WITH GARLICKY ROASTED CHICKPEA CROUTONS

This recipe is super quick and straightforward. With minimal chopping required, it’s the perfect last-minute soup. I mean, who doesn’t have a bag of frozen peas at the back of their freezer?

INGREDIENTS

• • • • • •

2 onions, sliced 1 teaspoon olive oil 2 garlic cloves, crushed 3 teaspoons fresh/frozen coriander 500g/1 lb frozen peas 1 large potato (or 2 small), chopped into large chunks

• 1 large sweet potato (or 2 small), chopped into large chunks

• Salt and pepper to taste METHOD 1. Sauté onions in olive oil until translucent. Add in garlic and coriander and continue to cook until fragrant.

2. Add in peas, potato and sweet potato and season with salt and pepper. Sauté for just 2-3 mins to give the vegetables some colour and to enhance the flavour.

3. Cover vegetables generously with water, then bring to a boil. Simmer until potatoes are soft to touch with a fork.

4. Blend until smooth and creamy.

To make chickpea croutons: Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F and line a baking sheet with paper.

Add a well-drained can of chickpeas to the baking sheet, along with a drizzle of olive oil, a sprinkle of salt, and granulated garlic. Bake for 20-25 mins or until crispy. Switch off the oven and leave to cool with the door open. Sprinkle over warm soup.

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RECIPE

TOMATO BASIL SOUP

WITH HERBY SOURDOUGH CROUTONS A tomato soup so rich and intense that it will keep you going back for more and more until the pot is empty!

INGREDIENTS

• • • • • • • • • • • •

6 large tomatoes 1 cup plum/cherry tomatoes 1 head of garlic with the top chopped off 1 small onion, peeled and halved 1/4 cup or 1/2 tube tomato paste 1/2 cup almond milk 1 cup tomato sauce 1/4 cup fresh basil 1 1/2 teaspoons oregano Salt and pepper to taste Evoo or avo oil 2-3 cups boiling water, depending on how thick you like it

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METHOD 1. Preheat oven to 200°C /400°F 2. Poke some holes into the tomatoes with a sharp knife to prevent them from bursting. Place them onto a lined baking tray with the garlic head and onion. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and spray lightly with oil. Roast for around 20 mins or until it begins to char.

3. Squeeze out the soft cloves from the garlic into a pot, and add all the roasted vegetables, along with the juices. Sauté for 1-2 minutes until the onion is soft.

4. Add tomato paste and mix, then add almond milk, tomato sauce and seasonings. Mix for a few minutes, then add in boiling water and bring to a boil. Simmer gently till all the vegetables are completely soft and start to break down.

5. Blend and serve with some large crunchy croutons.

To make sourdough croutons: Line a baking sheet with paper and preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F. Roughly cut up some sourdough/leftover challah/ sliced bread into chunks and place on a baking sheet. Drizzle some olive oil and sprinkle with salt, crushed black pepper and dried basil. Bake for 20-25 mins or until crispy. Switch off the oven and leave to cool with the door open. Serve over warm soup.

RECIPE

ON THE SPICE TRAIL with Garlic & Ganache

H

ey guys! So those of you who know me or follow me are aware of just how passionate I am about spices.

They enhance food so much and take a dish up that extra notch. Spices can transport you to a different country or back to your grandmother’s kitchen in an instant.

So travel with me through this series as we discover more about those little bottles at the back of your pantry. We’ll learn about spices which you are familiar with and some that you may have never heard of. We’ll discuss how we can use them to elevate your cooking with minimal effort. Just a sprinkle of this and a dash of that and - magnifique! To kick start this series we’re going to talk about the ultimate wintery spice: cinnamon.

Where does it come from?

Cinnamon comes from small evergreen trees, meaning that they grow throughout the year. These plants are found in wet tropical forests, in regions like Sri Lanka, Indonesia and Vietnam. They are part of the laurel family - think bay leaves, which are also associated with warm, wintery cooking.

How does it come?

Whilst you can obviously buy it in a bottle, cinnamon grows in a stick form which you can buy and grind yourself. This will give a more intense flavour than that of pre-ground cinnamon which loses flavour quicker. Interestingly enough, the thinner and lighter the sticks are, the better the quality of the cinnamon.

Why it’s so great

So when we think cinnamon, we think desserts and sweet treats. But cinnamon in itself isn’t sweet. Huh? How does that work? The secret is that cinnamon enhances the perception of sweetness in a dish, without actually having to add any sweeteners. That’s totally awesome! So the next time you think of adding sugar or a sweetener to a savoury dish, just add a dash of cinnamon!

Flavour notes

The main flavour notes of cinnamon are sweet, aromatic and warm. That’s what makes it the perfect winter spice, to give you that snuggly warm feeling inside as you tuck into a dish seasoned with cinnamon.

Spice pairings

Pair it together with cumin for a more intense earthy warmth.

For a more woody and spicy flavour add together with allspice or black pepper. To give your dish a floral flair, add a dash of cardamom and you will achieve that citrusy flavour.

How to cook

It’s best to add cinnamon at the start of the cooking process to give enough time for the flavour to diffuse into the food fully. We all know cinnamon pairs amazingly with fruit; think crumbles, compotes and cobblers, and it’s absolutely yummy sprinkled on grilled peaches!

Cinnamon goes really well with tomato-based dishes too - especially when with minced meat, for example bolognaise or meatballs. Tomatoes can be quite acidic when cooked so instead of adding sugar, add cinnamon to bring out that sweetness and to balance the flavours.

Cinnamon sticks are also great to use when poaching fruits like pears, apples or plums in wine. You can make a quick mulled wine with a bottle of red, some slices of orange, a couple of cloves and a star anise; just heat gently, simmer and sip away!

I hope you learned something new and were inspired looking forward to our next trip through the spice trail.

Tanya Ohana is a London based food blogger and recipe developer. Growing up in Gibraltar on the Mediterranean has heavily influenced her cooking style, from using spices to flavour her food to her love of fresh produce and herbs. Along with her food demos and ‘how-to’s, Tanya also sells artisanal popcorn in a variety of flavours for both personal and event use. You can follow along her food journey on Instagram @ garlic.and.ganache for more easy and wholesome recipes and kitchen tips.

Text 07825018249 or email garlicandganache@ gmail.com for more info on her demos and artisanal popcorn and bakes.

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RECIPE RECIPE

BOOZY HAWAIJ TEA Treat yourself with these spiked hot drinks, because you know you deserve it!

INGREDIENTS

• • • • • • •

1.5 cups hot water 2 English tea bags 2 teaspoons Hawaij Coffee spice mix 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2 tablespoons honey 1/4 cup bourbon or whisky

METHOD 1. In a pan combine the water, tea bags, spices and vanilla. Bring to a boil over a medium heat and then reduce to a simmer.

2. Stir in the honey and whisk to combine.

3. Remove from the heat and allow to sit for 10 minutes to brew.

4. Pour through tea strainer to remover excess spices.

5. Stir in the bourbon and enjoy.

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TIPSY HOT CHOCOLATE

RECIPE

The best hot chocolate you'll ever make. Adults only!

INGREDIENTS

• • • • •

2 cups milk 1/3 cup chocolate chips 2 teaspoons cocoa powder 1 tablespoon maple syrup, honey or agave 2 tablespoons vanilla, coffee or chocolate liquor

TO GARNISH:

• Chocolate syrup • Whipped cream • Mini Marshmallows

METHOD 1. Cook milk, chocolate chips, cocoa powder, and chosen syrup in a small pot over medium heat. Stir frequently until the mixture just starts to bubble and the chocolate has melted. Remove from heat.

2. Add liquor to the mixture, then pour into two mugs.

3. Garnish with whipped cream, mini marshmallows and chocolate syrup.

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WHIPPED HOT CHOCOLATE INGREDIENTS

• Powdered hot chocolate mix • Heavy cream • 1 cup hot milk METHOD 1. In a medium sized mixing bowl, use a whisk or mixer to whip together the heavy cream and hot chocolate until it has the consistency of whipped cream.

2. Pour the hot milk into a tall glass.

3. Spoon the whipped chocolate on top of the milk. Stir the chocolate with the milk and enjoy!

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Halva & Roses

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Where Hands Meet Heart:

Hands of Passion

By Leah Hoff

Leah embarks on a journey in creating magnificent recipes inspired by her travels, experiences and knowledge of the Middle East and North Africa.

I

can never really pinpoint when exactly I started cooking. What I do remember is that from the age of 12, I was already experimenting with all sorts of unique desserts, cakes and sweets. I made everything from Turkish Delight to Rose ice cream to a fluffy sponge cake filled with layers of caramel and topped with every single kind of chocolate under the sun.

I would definitely give my mother the most credit for this - she grew up in South Africa where food is a huge concept, and I believe that they have the best food over there. She taught me the very basics of a kosher (South African) kitchen; how to perfectly roast a chicken, how to cook every cut of kosher meat including lamb, veal, tongue - and the list goes on.

When I was 14, I decided that I wanted to make the entire Shabbos meal myself; soup, meats, chicken, side dishes and desserts. So I googled a bunch of recipes, and cooked a Saudi chicken Kabsa, which is a chicken dish served over rice with all sorts of spices. I also made a meat dish, roasted vegetables, and I can’t remember what else. Needless to say, some of it was not so memorable!

Now, here comes the part where I became fascinated by Middle Eastern and Magrebi (North African) cuisine and culture, and even - when I was a little older - Indian cooking.

Whilst this was essentially the start of my cooking journey, I am not really sure where the fascination started. I don’t come from a Middle Eastern background - I come from Lithuanian roots on both my parents’ sides.

I also have a huge influence from South Africa where my great grandparents were able to emigrate after leaving Lithuania to escape persecution. This is also where I was born and lived before moving to London when I was eight years old. I have always loved cooking shows, and used to watch MasterChef every day after school at some point during my teens. I was also an avid follower of the Great British Bake Off, Chef’s Table on Netflix, Nigella Lawson, and even vegan cooking reels on Instagram (and I’m still strong at it)! At some point, I began to do research on the flavours and cooking techniques of Lebanon, Syria, Algeria, Iraq and Iran, and in seminary, where most of my friends were Persian, they taught me all that I know about Persian food. I can now safely say that I have mastered making Khoresht Sabzi (beware Persian Maman’s around the world!).

Fast forwarding a few years, at the age of eighteen, I went to Morocco for the first time and explored the

cities of Tangier and Tetouan. There I soaked up the smells and sights of the Souks and explored the cultures and food of the Medina. Although nothing was Kosher so I couldn’t taste anything, I inspected, smelt, felt and experienced it all instead! I later travelled to Mauritius where 48% of the population are Hindu and cook traditional Indian dishes, and there again, I watched their cooking techniques and the way they cooked which taught me volumes. Travelling to France later also gave me a huge insight into Algerian, Tunisian and Moroccan cooking. After my extensive research, I then began the process of learning how to cook Indian food; watching multiple videos and reading countless articles (thanks dad!). With my dad an avid curry lover for as long as I can remember, I was inspired to keep perfecting the skill.

Whilst I am no expert in Indian cooking, I experimented and tried out the different spices and the different cooking techniques, and finally, after around three years, I finally got it right and created a perfect chicken curry recipe. Through my experimenting, I learnt the basics of Indian cooking: the base spice mixes, how to roast the spices and seeds, and how to cook various dishes. I found cooking addictively relaxing, with nothing exact and perfectly measured, and I loved the freedom that this gave me. However, ultimately, I went back to my initial and far more precise and temperamental culinary art the desserts and sweets.

During the 2020 lockdown, I began food styling and photographing my creations. I decided to photograph my cheesecakes which are baked lovingly according to the original South African recipe of my paternal grandmother, who taught me everything I know about cheesecake. (My maternal grandmother taught me the best cheesecake baking techniques). By May 2020, I was already receiving requests for cheesecakes for Shavuot, and thus, my little company Halva & Roses was born. A few weeks later by popular demand, I created a limited menu of some deluxe cakes, luxury chocolates, and of course my original challah flavour on the menu cinnamon challah, which I grew up with. I also created my perfect challah recipe and tried out a Zaatar challah which is now my best-selling challah. In this article you can take a look at my products and you can purchase my deluxe chocolate bark and challahs as well as many other whimsical things via my Instagram page.

In this little collection of recipes, I have created a whole array of cuisine dishes for a menu that blends beautifully together. I wanted to provide you with recipes that are original and totally delicious, yet not too exotic; recipes that will enhance your cooking experience and change up your Shabbos menu. With flavours inspired by India, Persia, Lebanon and France, there is something for everyone, and I hope you enjoy making these wonderful recipes as much as I do!

With love, Leah

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CHICKEN CURRY

WITH WARMING SAFFRON INFUSED RICE Ahhh chicken and rice. What’s more comforting than that? In every cuisine around the world, there is a version of this celebrated dish. This recipe is a culmination of many chicken and rice dishes and is sort of a mix between a Kabsa and a curry, which does combine different cuisines but I am all for it! Now I’m asking you: Please don’t turn away when you see the word ‘curry’, I promise you that this is far easier and simpler than your traditional curry recipe but tastes just as delicious. It’s simply a blend of spices here, a little caramelising of onions there and into the oven it goes so you can start the rice and do whatever you need to do.

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INGREDIENTS

METHOD

For the chicken:

Curry chicken: 1. To start, place your onions and oil in a pot and cook on medium heat until they have a nice colour. Turn down the heat and add the salt and honey or date syrup and stir. Cook for about 30 mins until caramelised and soft.

2. Preheat your oven to 180°C. Place your chicken pieces in a roasting dish, or a foil dish.

3. For the curry paste: In a bowl mix all the spices. Add the tomato paste and mix until you get a smooth paste which you’ll need to thin out with the water. Add more water as needed until you achieve a smooth paste.

4. Rub the paste all over the chicken pieces, on the front and back of each piece and under the skin. Use it all up - the flavour is here!!!

5. Pour the caramelised onions over the chicken and then place them underneath so that they don’t burn when cooking.

6. In a bowl mix the passata, ketchup, honey or silan and chicken consommé with the water. Pour over the chicken. Cook uncovered for 1 hour, then cover and cook for an additional 30-40 min.

• • • •

1 whole chicken cut into eighths OR 8 chicken legs and thighs 2 onions sliced into half moons 2 tablespoons silan (date syrup) or honey

• Pinch of salt • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil For the curry paste:

• 2 teaspoons garlic powder or 3 cloves of minced garlic

• • • • • • • • • • • • • •

2 teaspoons cumin 2 teaspoon ground coriander 2 teaspoon ground ginger 2-3 cardamom pods 1 tablespoon turmeric 2 cloves 2 teaspoons ground black pepper 2 teaspoons kosher salt 2 bay leaves 1 teaspoon garam masala 1 teaspoon fenugreek seeds

• • • • •

3 cups basmati rice 4.5 cups water 3 tablespoons oil 2 teaspoons salt 1/2 teaspoon good quality saffron threads

• 3 tablespoons boiling water

1/4 cup tomato paste 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon chilli flakes (if you like it spicier)

• 3-6 tablespoons water For the sauce:

• • • •

For the rice:

1 cup tomato passata 1.5 cups water 1 tablespoon chicken consommé 2 tablespoons honey or date syrup

To serve:

• Fresh coriander Rice: 1. In a small bowl, pour the boiling water and the saffron and gently mix until the colour turns to a beautiful deep yellow.

2. In a medium pot, heat the oil on medium heat for about 2 minutes and add in 1 cup of rice. It will start to sizzle fast and can burn easily, so keep a close watch on it and stir constantly until it’s golden and toasted. Turn off the heat and quickly add all the water to the pot, then add the rest of the rice and stir together. Add the salt and the saffron water mixture, and turn on the heat to medium heat until it comes to a boil.

Once boiling, cover with a lid, turn down the heat to the lowest setting, and cook for around 30 minutes until rice is fluffy and all the water has evaporated.

3. Serve the chicken over the rice and spoon the curry sauce all over the chicken and rice. Sprinkle fresh coriander on top and serve hot.

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SLOW ROASTED LAMB SHANKS WITH ROSEMARY, LEMON AND SUMAC

By far my favourite way to eat lamb is when it’s slow cooked in this lemony, rosemary-infused deliciousness. This recipe is simple and easy and always absolutely mouth-watering. The sumac contributes a further tang to this outstanding crowd pleaser.

INGREDIENTS

• • • • • • • • • • • •

6 lamb shanks 2 tablespoons tomato puree 1 teaspoon sumac 1 tablespoon paprika Sprinkling of salt Lots of black pepper 1 large onion cut into half moons 4 garlic cloves Juice of 2 lemons 1 tablespoon soy sauce 2 tablespoons chicken consommé 1.5 tablespoons dried Rosemary or 4-5 sprigs of fresh Rosemary

• 4 bay leaves • 2-3 cups water METHOD 1. Preheat your oven to 180°C. Place your lamb shanks in a roasting dish.

2. In a small bowl, add the tomato purée, salt, sumac and paprika and mix to form a paste.

Rub this all over the meat making sure to coat on both sides.

3. Slice the onions and place under the lamb.

Add the whole cloves of garlic, lemon juice, rosemary, soy sauce, water and chicken consommé over the lamb.

4. Add the bay leaves along with a generous sprinkle of fresh black pepper.

5. Roast for 1.5 hours, turning half way, and then lower the oven to 150°C and cook for another 2 hours.

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ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH WITH CINNAMON, DATE SYRUP AND BALSAMIC

A dish exuding warming, wintery, cinnamony aromas, this butternut is the best you’ll ever try. Combining warmth with sweetness and tang, the flavours marry perfectly together. Try a sprinkle of pomegranate seeds for extra tang, or stick with the pumpkin seeds for nuttiness and crunch.

INGREDIENTS

• • • •

2 butternut squashes 3 tablespoons oil 1 teaspoon cinnamon Salt and pepper to taste

Glaze:

• • • • • •

3 tablespoons date syrup 1.5 tablespoons balsamic vinegar Pinch of black pepper 2 teaspoons pumpkin seeds Fresh mint Edible rose petals (optional)

METHOD 1. Cut open your butternut squash and scoop out the seeds. Cut into large chunks.

2. Preheat oven to 200°C. Place your chunks on a roasting dish lined with parchment paper and pour the oil over along with the cinnamon, salt and pepper. Mix the chunks around and make sure the oil coats it all well.

3. Roast for 1/2 hour or until relatively crispy.

4. Mix the silan, balsamic and black pepper together. Place your butternut on your desired serving dish and drizzle over the glaze. Sprinkle the pumpkin seeds, mint and rose petals on top. Serve at room temperature.

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DARK CHOCOLATE ORANGE BLOSSOM TART WITH CANDIED ORANGES

A wickedly decadent tart infused with the delicate scent of orange blossom water, this tart combines silky dark chocolate with zesty oranges to fabricate this luxurious, sophisticated dessert. Don’t be fooled by the name - this tart has only one baking aspect and that’s the pastry. If you’d like, you can use cookie crumbs instead and then you’ll have yourself a completely no bake dessert!

INGREDIENTS For the pastry:

• • • •

175g flour 100g cold margarine 25g icing sugar 1 egg yolk

• 1 tablespoon cold water Filling:

• 450 grams non-dairy whipping cream • 250g good quality dark chocolate • 2 teaspoons orange blossom water Topping:

• Candied oranges • Orange zest

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METHOD 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C. 2. Place the flour, margarine and icing sugar in a bowl and rub together until it looks like sand.

3. Add in the egg yolk and water, and mix and knead gently until a dough forms.

4. Grease and line a 23cm loose-bottomed tart tin.

5. Roll out the pastry in between two sheets of parchment paper and place into your tart tin. If some pieces break a little, simply press together to seal. Prick the bottom and sides with a fork and chill in the fridge for 1/2 hour. Bake for 1/2 hour until golden.

Remove and let cool.

6. In a small pot, on low heat, heat the cream until warm, then add the chocolate and stir until fully combined and silky. Add in the orange blossom water and mix. Remove from heat.

7. Carefully pour the chocolate mixture into the tart tin. Top with orange zest and candied oranges, and chill overnight in the fridge.

8. Carefully remove the tart from the tin and serve chilled.

Halva & Roses products available for purchase: Halva & Roses luxury 200g dark chocolate bark is one of our most popular and best-selling products, selling around 40 bags a week! Handmade in London, these chocolates are created from the finest dark chocolate and a variety of delicious quality homemade flavours and toppings. The decadent unique chocolates make the perfect Shabbos gift or treat for just about any occasion!

Halva & Roses dark chocolate orange and almond bark, £14 Halva & Roses dark chocolate mint bark, £14 Purchase via @halvaandroses on Instagram Fluffy yet dense, with a perfect moist and sweet crumb, these challahs make a wonderful alternative Shabbos gift.

Halva & Roses Zaatar challah £12 for 2 Purchase via @halvaandroses on Instagram.

HALVA & ROSES

Leah Hoff is the creative spark behind her brand Halva & Roses.

Born to be in the world of design and creativity, Leah studied at the Covent Garden Academy of Flowers where she gained her knowledge and experience in advanced floral design. Aside from being a master baker of her exquisite desserts, Leah is an avid foodie and a brilliant home cook who is always eager to learn new ideas and techniques. She designs events and private dinner concepts and menus for various occasions, and can be contacted through her Instagram page @halvaandroses.

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RECIPE After the smashing success of her highly acclaimed cookbook, Simply Gourmet, people came to rely on Rivky Kleiman's recipes, knowing that they are easy to prepare and always simply delicious.

Rivky's thousands of fans have enthusiastically followed her since her first foray into publishing in the culinary world as co-author of the Bais Yaakov Cookbooks and through her very popular column in Mishpacha Magazine.

In this book you will find a complete array of dishes, featuring over 140 recipes, each with a full-color photo. In addition, a dedicated section of "Simple Suppers" offers menu options that are filled with tips 'n tricks, pairings, and prep-ahead suggestions that will help you navigate suppers SIMPLY. Enter Rivky's world of SIMPLY and you will be Simply Gourmet, Every Day. The following recipes have been reproduced from Simply. by Rivky Kleiman with permission from the copyright holders ArtScroll/ Mesorah Publications, LTD.

Smoky Cauliflower Bites Smoked paprika and crushed red pepper flakes give extra depth to a simple side of roasted cauliflower. Drizzling the honey and lemon during the final roast takes it over the top. This will definitely become your new favorite.

SERVES 8 5 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp sea salt ¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes pinch black pepper 2 lb fresh or frozen cauliflower florets (see Note) 2 tbsp honey 1½ tsp lemon juice

1. Preheat oven to 450°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. In a large resealable bag, combine olive oil, paprika, salt, red pepper flakes, and pepper. Add cauliflower florets, seal bag, and shake until all pieces are well coated.

3. Transfer cauliflower to prepared baking sheet.

Bake for 20 minutes.

4. Combine honey and lemon juice. Drizzle over cauliflower; toss to coat. Return to oven; bake an additional 15 minutes.

Note: If using frozen cauliflower, run under hot water until fully defrosted, drain well, and place on paper towels to dry.

Tip: Steps 1-2 can be done the night before and then cauliflower can be refrigerated in the resealable bag until ready to bake.

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Batter-Dipped Tilapia Need dinner in a pinch? This quick fish dish with its pillowy exterior and lemony tartar sauce will still taste delicious even the second time around.

SERVES 4 1-1½ lb skinless tilapia fillets ½ cup flour ½ cup cornstarch 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp garlic powder ½ tsp sea salt ½ tsp black pepper, coarsely ground ¼ tsp cayenne pepper 1 egg cup cold beer oil, for frying TA R TA R S AU C E ½ cup mayonnaise 1 tbsp lemon juice 2 Tbsp capers or dill pickles, chopped 1 Tbsp fresh dill or 1 tsp dried dill ½ tsp Dijon mustard kosher salt, to taste black pepper, to taste 1. Prepare the tartar sauce: Combine tartar sauce ingredients in a small bowl. Whisk well. Set aside.

2. Prepare the fish: In a large bowl, whisk together all dry ingredients.

Add egg and beer; whisk until combined. Set aside.

3. Add 2 inches oil to a small saucepan. Heat over medium-high heat until oil reaches 350°F. Lower heat to medium to maintain temperature at 350°F. 4. Meanwhile, cut fish into strips or nuggets; add to prepared batter.

Stir to completely coat fish pieces. Place a few batter-dipped pieces of fish into the hot oil; do not crowd pan. Fry until lightly golden, about 30-60 seconds per side. Transfer to a paper towel-lined cooling rack to drain. Continue with remaining fish.

5. Serve alongside tartar sauce.

Variation: Tilapia can be substituted with turbot, fluke, or flounder.

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Cinnamon Citrus Biscotti I was hesitant to develop another biscotti recipe, uncertain that I could come up with one to rival my go-to Chocolate Chip Biscotti on my Instagram page. I am glad I challenged myself, because the subtle cinnamon and citrus flavors make these the perfect accompaniment to your morning coffee or tea.

B I S C OT T I

1 tsp orange extract

CITRUS GLAZE

1 cup sugar

2¼ cups flour

1 cup powdered sugar

½ cup canola oil

1½ tsp baking powder

2 tbsp canola oil

2 eggs

1 tsp cinnamon

¾ tbsp orange zest

zest of 1 orange (2 tsp)

¼ tsp sea salt

2-3 tbsp orange juice (for

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

desired consistency)

Y I E L D S 2 4 B I S C OT T I 1. Preheat oven to 325°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. In the large bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle(s) attachment, beat sugar and oil until blended. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add zest and extracts, beating until combined. Gradually add flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Mix until incorporated.

3. Divide dough into 2 or 3 parts on the prepared baking sheet. With moistened hands, form into logs. (Dividing dough in 2 will yield 2 long logs. Dividing dough in 3 will yield 3 short logs.)

4. Bake for 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven; cool for 10 minutes. Slice into 1-inch slices. If you enjoy crispier biscotti, turn each slice on its side; return to oven and bake 2-3 minutes longer. Repeat on the second side. Let biscotti cool completely.

5. Prepare the glaze: In a small bowl, whisk together glaze ingredients. Drizzle glaze over cooled biscotti.

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Beef & Broccoli Ramen Bowl Fast and healthy, made in 15 minutes from start to finish. Less expensive, and healthier than takeout, too.

SERVES 4 ½ cup low sodium soy sauce 1½ tbsp cornstarch 6 tbsp rice vinegar 4 tbsp hoisin sauce 4 tbsp dark brown sugar ½ tsp ground ginger 5 tsp sesame oil, divided ¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes 2 cups water 2 (3-oz) ramen noodles packages 2 tbsp canola oil, divided 1 lb New York-style strip steak or rib steak, sliced thinly across the grain 4 cloves garlic, crushed 16 oz broccoli florets 1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds 4 scallions, sliced 1. In a small bowl, combine soy sauce and cornstarch to create a slurry. Add rice vinegar, hoisin sauce, brown sugar, ginger, 4 teaspoons sesame oil, and red pepper flakes. Stir until thoroughly combined. Set aside.

2. In a 2-quart saucepan, bring water to a boil. Add ramen noodles with 1 spice packet. Boil for 3 minutes. Remove from heat; drain. Add remaining teaspoon sesame oil. Toss to combine.

3. In a large skillet over medium heat, heat 1 tablespoon oil. Add beef strips and crushed garlic. Stir fry for 3 minutes. Use a slotted spoon to transfer beef to a bowl.

4. Add remaining tablespoon oil to the skillet. Add broccoli; stir fry for 2 minutes. Add soy sauce mixture to the skillet; add beef. Stir fry until sauce thickens. Add prepared ramen noodles to the skillet. Toss to combine.

5. Transfer to a serving bowl or individual bowls. Toss with sesame seeds and scallions.

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CHARLOTTE'S SOURDOUGH Sourdough in Style by Charlotte Clif. Photography by Kayla Hollander

harlotte Clif lives in Hendon with her 5 children, a dog, a cat, chickens and a tortoise. She has been fermenting foods and drinks and baking sourdough for many years. She set up her micro bakery four years ago, and now delivers her kosher certified products throughout Hendon, Golders Green, Finchley, Temple Fortune and Hampstead Garden Suburb. Charlotte also takes special orders and

creates a variety of seasonal bakes. For Thanksgiving, her sourdough pumpkin spice loaves are popular and of course, sourdough doughnuts for Chanukah. Made with all natural ingredients, pareve, and fried in neutral flavoured organic coconut oil, the doughnuts are fully fermented and piped full of a variety of fillings. Light, airy and a real treat, they are available gift boxed, with delivery options for local areas. You can check out her Instagram page @ charlottessourdough, or get in touch with her on 07956369102 for more information.

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So how did you get into the food business?

It wasn’t planned! I have a background in Zoology and Environmental Conservation, and have always been interested in healthy, organic and sustainable living. After starting my family and being at home with my children, I began fermenting foods as I believe it has many health benefits. It was also a great way of preserving the produce grown in my city garden and a way to use up the eggs laid by my chickens. From there, Charlotte's Sourdough was a natural progression. I’d been giving loaves to family and friends; they encouraged me to start my own business.

What inspires you to keep growing and improving?

Most definitely the feedback I get from my customers.

So many people seem to have gluten intolerances and reactions to eating regular bread. When a customer tells me that she can eat my bread symptom free after avoiding gluten for over 11 years, I’m spurred on to fly the flag for real, fully fermented sourdough bread.

What do you love about it?

Without sounding like an air head, making sourdough feeds the soul as well as the body. It’s very meditative and gratifying; as well as being a continual learning curve. It challenges the mind whilst being endlessly creative at the same time.

What are some of your greatest failures and successes?

My successes will always be happy customers who come back time and time again, with amazing feedback and encouragement. Those who show understanding I also count among my success stories - making sourdough is a nurturing process, so when things don’t go to plan, their patience is part of that process. So much can happen which I can’t control, for example the fuse once blew on my fridge during the night, leading to over fermented and un-bakeable loaves, or another time, on a really hot day, the dough rose quicker than I could shape it.

What has been most challenging for you?

but sourdough focaccia on Friday is always a sell-out.

Raisin and walnut, olive, cranberry and pecan, turmeric or sun-dried tomato loaves are also very popular.

Additionally, I can make most things to order and have had some very strange requests!

As a working mother and wife, how do you balance home and work life?

This is the hardest part of my business and I’m afraid to say, one I really struggle with. I work a full 6 days a week, and often more. With 5am starts and late finishes, it’s not easy. Although I work really hard it’s truly a labour of love.

I fit in what I can throughout the day, so that while the dough is rising, I’ll do the laundry and make dinner, or while it’s bench resting or mixing I’ll do the school run.

Every second of the day counts!

What are the most exciting parts about the Jewish food business?

To be able to provide the Kosher community with organic, fully fermented sourdough bread is very exciting.

While we’re spoilt for choice with great bakeries and their delicious goodies, I offer a different approach. My ingredients are chemical free, natural and nutritious. I’m thankfully beginning to see other like-minded foodies pop up in the Kosher scene and I think there is a real shift towards people wanting a more natural and wholesome option.

Where do you take inspiration from?

I have made some very good sourdough baker friends from across the globe on Instagram. It’s been a great platform for sharing ideas and learning from each other, and I’m just so happy to be able to bring some of that inspiration into the kosher world.

I work alone, so meeting demand has been the most challenging thing for me. I hate to disappoint clients and find it hard to say no, however I’ve learnt the hard way and have now set myself limits.

What are your favourite dishes on the menu?

I make a huge variety of sourdough bread, challah, rolls, focaccia, pizza dough and crackers, as well as seasonal goodies. I vary my menu according to what produce is in season or what Chag might be coming up. My best seller is definitely the malted grains with 5 seeds loaf,

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After mixing, the dough is transferred into a lidded container, where it undergoes a stage known as ‘Bulk Fermentation’. The dough is stretched and folded every half an hour or so, over a 4-6 hour period, until it’s puffy, well risen and ready for the next stage.

Pre-shaping the dough into taught rounds helps to build structure and strength in the fermenting dough. The rounds are then rested for 20 -30 minutes, allowing the gluten to relax and aiding the final shaping stage.

The shaped dough is then placed into a banneton before being placed in the fridge for 14-16 hours.

This long and slow fermentation improves the flavour, digestibility and texture of the bread. In the morning, it is removed from its banneton, scored with a lame, and stone baked in a specialist bread oven with steam.

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4

The dough is now ready for ‘Pre-shaping’.

It’s tipped onto a floured work surface, cut, and weighed into portions.

The final shaping stage creates tension without de-gassing the delicate structure of the puffy dough. This is essential for developing good structure; resulting in an open, airy, and well leavened loaf.

Sourdough is not only delicious, but has many other benefits too. The slow fermentation process increases the bioavailability of the grains’ fibre, minerals, vitamins and polyphenols (the latter is an important fuel for healthy gut microbes). Sourdough keeps you fuller for longer, is slow-release, and has less of an impact on blood sugar levels than commercially yeasted bread. Gluten also begins to break down during the process, making sourdough bread easier to digest.

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Chanuka at Coco Bakery

A year ago, Jonathan and Katie Cohen welcomed their first baby into the world.

Two weeks later they had their second or that’s how they describe Coco Bakery.

For Jonathan, opening the bakery was the culmination of his dreams. Having worked in bakeries since the age of 13, he had always dreamt of opening one himself. Likewise, his wife Katie had always loved the kitchen, and food had been a very central part of her life growing up. When the couple noticed gaps in the local bakery market, it gave them the impetus to move forward with their ambition and fill in these gaps themselves.

‘I don’t think there’s been a new bakery opening in Golders Green in the last decade or so.’ Katie points out. ‘We wanted to bring something new to the table, to sell products which would entice customers. For example, when we opened, artisan breads weren’t

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widely available in Kosher Bakeries. We have an extensive bread menu which includes beetroot breads, date and nut bread, and a wide selection of spelt and sourdough products, which are currently really popular.’

Aside from the basics, Coco bakery also offers a massive selection of fancy cakes, miniatures and desserts. ‘We have a patisserie bar,’ Katie tells me, ‘And every Friday we make a unique selection.’ With Katie and Jonathan constantly innovating new designs and topics, it is truly a magnificent display.

To round it off, they also run a salad bar, which on Chanuka is converted into a ‘Build your Own’ doughnut bar. ‘We did it last year,’ Katie says, ‘And it went down extremely well – people loved it.’

Another aspect that Coco bakery is very particular about is the quality of their ingredients. ‘We try to use our own products as much as possible,’ says Jonathan. ‘For example,

we always try to make our own jam, we only use fresh lemons in our lemon curd, and we’re scrupulous about using fresh, locally sourced products.’ It’s that little extra care for quality that Coco Bakery is fast becoming known for. Prioritising quality over time, they would rather have fresh lettuce manually checked every morning than to use pre-packed lettuce in their salad bar. ‘The pre-packaged just doesn’t taste the same,’ explains Katie. However, whilst they do strive for perfection in all of their products, the

modern, at heart Coco Bakery will always be a family business. At Coco Bakery, there is something for everyone, and they work to fill gaps in the market and keep their customers of all ages happy. ‘Last Purim, we sold ‘Make your own Hamantaschen’ kits for kids.’ Katie says. ‘Everyone loved it - the mothers as it involved minimal mess and effort, and the children couple work hard to keep their products as they got the affordable, and to give customers value hamantaschenfor money without compromising on the making experience.’ quality.

Coco Bakery is When the couple took over the William also always happy Hill shop on Golders Green Road, they to step up and help came to an empty shell. Starting from out. ‘Last year scratch, they had furniture custom built, Chanuka,’ Jonathan with Jonathan designing the kitchen reminisces, ‘Chazak and Katie working on the customer area did a Motzi Shabbos and façade along with a very talented drive-through designer. ‘We actually designed it like light show. They a perfume shop,’ laughs Katie. ‘We asked us to donate wanted to give our customers a great the doughnuts shopping experience. So we have items and since it was Motzi Shabbos we had like double sided floating shelves, and around two hours to make the entire display cases, and we work very hard to order. That was a case of literally ‘all give it a pleasant vibe.’ Jonathan agrees, hands on deck’. Our partners showed up, ‘We didn’t want the typical bakery look, even our parents came to help!’ with huge crates of challahs and breads.

With so much going on, Jonathan and Although it means we have to constantly Katie are both heavily invested in the refill, we keep minimal products on our bakery. ‘We’ve put so much love into the shelves so that we can keep the products place,’ admits Jonathan. ‘So much effort, fresh and maintain that boutique energy and time. When we get messages look.’ Their two business partners also from happy customers who tell us how contributed heavily at the beginning, and much they enjoyed our products, or how continue to do a lot of the behind-thethey celebrated their birthday with one of scenes work. ‘We have so much hakaras our cakes, then that’s the best part.’ hatov for them,’ Jonathan states, ‘This For Katie though, it’s the memories that bakery would never be here without them she loves the most. ‘Our daughter was and their constant support.’ In fact, the literally two weeks old when we opened, bakery is actually named after all of the and I remember walking past our shop owners. All of them have the surname at night with her in the buggy. People ‘Cohen’, so shortening the name and don’t realise but it’s very much a family repeating it gives ‘Coco’. affair for me. Our daughter grew up in Although incredibly professional and the bakery.’ And although she’s too old to spend time there now, Katie is definitely trying to keep the bakery as family oriented as possible.

‘There’s two routes we can go down,’ says Jonathan. ‘One day we’d love to have a Coco bakery on every high street and to extend our market. But in reality, we’re doing this because we love it, and we love being able to serve our community.

For now, we’re enjoying this stage but maybe one day we will have branches everywhere - or a factory. The world is your oyster!’

With the couple’s motto being ‘Everything is min hashamayim’ the world truly is their oyster, and we wait to see their next plans. Meanwhile, we look forward to their doughnuts!

VALOUR PROMOTION

Highlights for this Chanuka:

Lemon meringue: We make this with our own fresh lemon curd. As one of the best-selling patisseries in our Friday patisserie bar, we loved the idea of turning it into a doughnut.

Salted Caramel: Salted caramel is such a popular flavour! We’re always getting compliments on our dairy version.

Red velvet: By far our favourite and best-selling cupcake flavour, we decided to turn it into a doughnut.

Black Forest: A timeless favourite Shabbat dessert that we’ve reinvented as a doughnut. With all the requisite quality chocolate shavings, our fresh chocolate cream mousse, and a glace cherry to top it all off, this is one extravagant doughnut that you don’t want to miss.

Trio chocolate: With its perfect combination of three delicious chocolates, this doughnut is a chocolate lover’s dream.

Ferrero Rocher: A hazelnut chocolate

doughnut topped with our own unique take on the famous chocolate.

Tiramisu: Another classic dessert that’s loved in our bakery, and topped with our delicious coffee bean shaped chocolate.

Cookies and cream: Who doesn’t love this flavour! We’ve made it into a milkshake and a cupcake so why not a doughnut?!

Pop into our bakery over Chanuka to try out these flavours or any of our many others, which include iced Rings, sugar cinnamon rings, classic jam, custard, caramel, and pareve chocolate. You can also enjoy our doughnut bar, where you can choose your filling and glaze colour, and top as you like. We have a wide selection of toppings from crushed nuts and desiccated coconut to chocolate bars and marshmallows. It’s fun for adults and kids alike - a real Chanukah treat!

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CREATED FOR WOMEN PROMOTING WOMEN IN BUSINESS GIVING THEM THE TOOLS TO GROW. - MAGAZINE INCLUSION - COMMUNITY NETWORKING EVENTS & MUCH, MUCH MORE GET IN TOUCH TO HEAR HOW WE CAN HELP YOUR BUSINESS FLOURISH contact@valourlifest yle.co.uk valourlifest yle.co.uk 80

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Photography by Faige Tiefenbrun Makeup by Chani Richman Batsheva with her modest activewear brand 81

BUSINESS

GROW YOUR BUSINESS

By Lana Ziskind

Lana Ziskind was born in Johannesburg, and moved to London 21 years ago.

She currently lives in Hendon with her 6 children and their dog. She has had a very full career, including studying interior design, teaching aerobics, and working as a talent scout and casting agent. When she moved to London, she found the latter to be non-conducive to a Jewish lifestyle, and began working at ‘Rocket’, where she has gleaned over 20 years of experience in building businesses and brands. She currently holds the position of Account Director and works with the likes of Disney, Warner Brothers, Platform 9 ¾, Hard Rock café and Deliveroo.

Growing your business or building a brand is SO hard, especially in today’s world where we are so reliant on social media, algorithms and influencers. Don’t get me wrong - I love social media, it is the most incredible advertising and shopping experience. Gone are the high streets with gorgeous window displays and beautifully dressed mannequins - show me a well photographed blueberry muffin and I’m sold! I can buy a new bag without leaving my front room. But you can’t rely on social media alone to grow your business. Whilst running your own business may be hard, tiring and lonely, here are a few tips which I have learned along the way.

BRANDING According to Wikipedia, a brand is ‘A name, term, design, symbol or any other feature that identifies one seller's good or service as distinct from those of other sellers.’

create your brand strategy to position yourself accordingly, and lastly you must constantly manage everything that influences this positioning.

Branding is important because not only is it what makes a memorable impression on consumers, but it allows your customers and clients to know what to expect from your company. It is a way of distinguishing yourself from competitors and clarifying what it is you offer and what makes you the better choice. Your brand is built to be a true representation of who you are as a business, and how you wish to be perceived.

Branding is absolutely critical to a business because of the overall impact it makes on your company. It changes how people view you company, it can drive new business and increase brand value – but it can also do the opposite if done wrongly or not at all.

There is a structured process to branding. You must first identify who or what you want to be to your customers, then

DEVELOP A STRATEGIC PLAN Develop short-term goals: quarterly, semi-annual, or annual, and create a plan that will help you reach those goals, which should be realistic and achievable. Make sure you also work with the ability to stop, pivot and change direction. Make sure your plan considers the resources you may need: cash, people, equipment, inventory, and additional operating costs, and check with yourself that the end result will be a service or product that customers are looking for.

Set the metrics you will use to monitor your progress towards attaining that goal and adjust your plans as needed based on how close or how far you are from your goal. If you aren't meeting your goal, determine why you are not meeting it.

Is it a lack of resources? Is marketing not working? Are you targeting the right customer segment?

And lastly, KNOW YOUR NUMBERS! What are your costs and expenses? The cost of your time? (Yes, your time is valuable too.) What are your margins and profits? Your suppliers and lead times? Know them inside out.

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USE YOUR TIME WISELY The most common example of this is spending time on tasks or areas of the business which are not your forte, or on tasks which are not money making and which will not increase good-will. Whilst it may be saving on the cost of hiring staff or outsourcing that work, it often ends up costing more due to it tying up time and energy, and more often than not, will result in a job done poorly.

Another example would be to take on work which isn’t a good fit for a brand.

This can cause delays and disappointment, and whilst it may be appealing at the outset, it will often take valuable time that could be used to generate income elsewhere. Stick to what makes your business unique and know your worth! Growth is imperative, but will often happen organically and naturally without you forcing it.

there will always be someone that is willing to share their knowledge, to help and advise. Meet with like-minded friends to brainstorm, share experiences and challenges.

Often just talking things through can resolve the issue.

Learning from others and their experiences will provide you with a map for growth. It’s in the exchange of information that others perceive your confidence in building a business and new partnerships are discovered. Find yourself a mentor, someone you can lean on, learn from, and whose experience you can tap into. The best part is that you can learn from their mistakes, you just have to be open to hearing them.

Growing up, I never thought that I would end up in sales - I studied Interior Design for three years, but sales was never a profession I or anyone around me aspired to. However, I fell into it, and discovered that I was able to connect with people and that I loved the contacts I made along the way.

I have been a waitress (selling food), a check out girl (selling groceries), a sales assistant in a clothes store, and I’ve sold gym memberships. I have been selling one thing or another since I was 12 years old (that’s more than 30 years!) and I still ask for help and advice from my mentors.

FOCUS ON THE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE A happy customer is a returning customer. What is a business without customers? Referrals and word of mouth is the biggest compliment a customer can pay to any business. This means that their experience in working with you was a meaningful and a memorable one. From buying them iced coffees, to a designer outfit for a client your customer is always King (or Queen!). Let them know that you value them and the time that they have taken to engage with you. Acknowledge their referrals with a quick thank you note, voice message, or even flowers, and actually hear your customers when they give you feedback - be it positive or negative. Often, how you respond to criticism is remembered more than how you reward compliments.

Listen to your critics, as whilst not always pleasant, it is an opportunity for growth.

Constantly engage with your customers on social media such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, but also send out emails, make personal phone calls, offer discounts to returning customers, or create a referral recognition system.

ASKING FOR HELP IS A STRENGTH. Don't be shy to ask for help and advice out of fear of looking like you are not the expert. The truth is that you are NOT the expert - there will also ways be someone out there who knows more than you do. You are the entrepreneur and

BUILD IN ME TIME Working for yourself can be all consuming, and there is never an OFF button (unless you make one). It is imperative that you take time to switch off. Close shop. Step away. Stop! Take a walk and listen to a pod cast. Join a spin class. Meet a friend for coffee (but no business talk). Do something for yourself and be sure to enjoy the fruits of your labour. Working hard without being able to enjoy yourself can build resentment and lead to being unmotivated and despondent.

And my final advice - love what you do and build on your passion. Good Luck!

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Photography by Faige Tiefenbrun Makeup by Chani Richman

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In The Business Seat:

B7AC TIVE Defining Modest Activeware

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By Zahava Mimran

hen I decided to start exercising more, I had grand ideas of simply popping out of my front door, ready for a stimulating morning jog. On the first morning of my new exercise regime, I jumped out of bed, only to be hit (straight in my still untoned stomach) with the ‘What to wear’ dilemma. Leggings and flary skirt? Straight skirt with tights underneath? Snood, cap or fall? And what about my top? Pin up the neckline of my exercise t-shirt? Or just choose my lightest sweatshirt and hope that I don’t pass out from overheating...

My lack of appropriate modest clothing (or that’s my excuse anyway - and I’m sticking to it!) put a damper on my exercise plans. It was back to the land of the flabby and lazy for me. Until I discovered b7Active.

Batsheva Netzer, a London based mother of five, and a savvy businesswoman, is taking the Jewish exercise world by storm with her modest exercise gear. I met her to find out more about her products, her inspiration, and how she manages to do it all.

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How did you start the business?

'I’ve worked for twenty years as a weight loss consultant under my company ‘b7diet’, where I have Baruch hashem helped hundreds of men and women lose weight. It originally started off as a face-to-face service, where clients came in once a week for weighing and support. I moved it online after I noticed that my online clientele were actually doing better than those with whom I was meeting face to face. I do all my weigh-ins and meetings remotely, which aside from being very effective, also allows me to slot in many more clients.

When Covid hit, as I was already online, it didn’t affect my business; however now I had five children at home - two yeshiva boys, and three whom I now had to home-school.

Nobody knew what was going on, or how long it would last.

For many of us, every day became a struggle to get through, and my motto at the time became ‘Everyone just hang on’.

The real blow, however, was when there was talk of the gyms being shut down. Going to the gym had become my outlet, my therapy session. I had previously only been a very sporadic gym goer, six years ago when my father passed away, I began to go regularly, and it had really helped to get me through those tough times. Now, in lockdown, I was once again struggling, and this time my father’s brother was very ill (unfortunately he passed away). It was very stressful - it felt like and I didn’t know how I would be able to cope without being able to go to the gym. I thought to myself, ‘I wish I could just stick on a skirt and go for a run’, yet I didn’t have any suitable activewear that would allow me to do this without drawing attention to myself. I was used to high-end, good quality workout gear and it was too hard for me to run with a regular skirt on top of my leggings. I also didn’t want the funny looks, and I didn’t want to have to go to remoter areas where I wouldn’t be so noticeable.

That’s when I decided that I wanted to create a company to produce modest active-wear, where women can put on something light, something actually made for exercise, which both looks good and performs well.

So how did you go from idea to production?

‘I’ve always been into fashion, so I didn’t find the design aspect a problem. I still have the first sketches which I remember sketching at two am one morning during lockdown. Once I had the design, I needed material, and I needed a company to produce it for me. I remember spending hours and hours online, usually in the middle of the night, searching for production companies which sounded legitimate and trustworthy. Eventually, I came across the company I work with today. I honestly do not remember how I found it – it was really massive Siata Dishmaya. It’s a UK based agent who works with a Chinese company to

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manufacture sportswear (China was the only country open and out of lockdown at the time – they’d already finished their lockdown at that point). This agent has chains in Beverly Hills and Los Angeles, and I remember phoning their headquarters to check that the company was trustworthy.

From there it was a matter of a great leap of faith, a thirty percent deposit, and production started! For me, working on my active wear became my creative, fun outlet during a very dark time. And of course, it provided me with running clothes! I actually had to speed up my launch and opened up earlier than I had planned to when the second lockdown hit and gyms once again closed, so that I could accommodate

women returning to outdoor exercise.

How did you set up the company?

'I created b7active as an online company, and it was very much a family lockdown project. I remember discussing it one day at the Shabbos table, and my daughter said, ‘We always discuss these things but will it ever happen?’, and I said, ‘Yes I’m going to make it happen!’ My eldest son who was home from yeshiva at the time was studying computer science, and he set up my website for me. My second son does all the social media, and he helps me to reach out to companies when I need it. The system we set up is extremely automated so that when a customer creates an order the only thing that I have to do is to print out the prepared label and package the item, and UPS come to my house nearly every day to pick up orders which we send all around the globe. That leaves me to get on with the design and production, and of course my husband helps me with all the spreadsheets, accounts, and that side of things.

With my other business – b7diet, all the information is confidential so I can’t take help from anyone outside the business. It is so important to me that b7active is a family business, where I can have the help and support of those closest to me.

For my initial investment, I took a Boris bounce back loan and used that to set up the company, and I reinvest the whole

time. I had a few investors who were interested in the business, but I turned them down as I wanted to be able to do things myself - I didn’t want any pressure.

Tell me about your products?

'I design each and every piece from scratch, which is the fun and easy part for me. After that, I have to select materials, and perfect the different elements.

I’m very particular that the product performs really well; when I work out and the piece that I’m wearing falls down, feels itchy, or when the seam doesn’t sit right, it really bothers me, so I try to ensure that everything I produce is perfectly made. My products are definitely high-end, however I do try to keep the pricing as affordable as possible, although it does cost me more to produce as I go through an agent instead of dealing with the company.

At the beginning, when it came to choosing materials, I was a novice, so they would send me materials that they recommended, yet often I didn’t like the sample, and I’d send them fabric compositions from activewear that I had found performed well.

Now I know my materials really well, and I can just touch a fabric and gauge the quality of the blend.

Originally, I had just intended to produce a skirt. I started off with an A line skirt that blends beautifully with leggings so that it’s hardly noticeable.

However, I then received a lot of requests for a skirt that is actually noticeable, so I made a flary skirt, which comes with a pocket in the waistband and is also weirdly flattering. I was surprised at how complimentary it was when I tried out the sample – it somehow just narrows the figure.

When I realised that I can’t make a business out of just skirts, and after receiving a lot of requests, I designed matching leggings for the skirt. It took a long time to find the right material for them; in the end we went with a compression material which is great for cardio, and it’s also very good for the legs and veins. As the leggings match the skirt, they blend in perfectly when you wear them together.

For an exercise friendly head covering, I designed a cap without the usual hole in the back, so that the hair doesn’t show through, however some people found that it still didn’t give the full coverage that they were looking for. After a little brainstorming, I came up with the perfect solution. I took my t-shirt material which is absolutely fantastic for exercise; it’s super light and absorbs all sweat, and I used that material to create a band. I designed it to be thinner at the front, thicker at the back, and voila - you have

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an absorbent sweatband which you can wear under the cap to give you full hair coverage (or even with your band-fall).

Its absorbency means that it also prevents the caps from getting sweaty.

What do you love most about your business?

'What do I love best? When I’m in my car and I see a woman going past in my activewear, the feeling that I get is absolutely indescribable. I also love getting feedback from women who tell me that they have started running because of me, that they’re healthier now, or that they work out more because they now have modest activewear in which to do it. I even heard through a friend about someone who never used to work out modestly, but since discovering b7active, she puts on a skirt when she goes out running. That’s way beyond my expectations, and I’m so happy that I’m helping to normalise the concept of frum women exercising, whilst giving them a way to do it modestly. It has definitely also cause my tznius level to improve. When

I used to exercise on holiday, I used to just wear a short skirt on top of my leggings. Now I have my b7active wear; I cover up properly and wear it proudly. I’ve never had any strange looks, although I have had some people stop and ask me admiringly where it’s from! More women than you can imagine are interested in modest activewear; they want to exercise but they don’t want people looking.

"In every situation in life, if you really want something to happen, then you can make it happen"

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What would you say is the most difficult aspect of the business?

'Like with any business, there are tough times. I get worried if sales aren’t great, when it’s been a bad week or when extra costs come up.

Sometimes products don’t turn up on time, like my new silk fit, lightweight t-shirts that I had hoped would be ready for the Summer but were delayed as it took time to find the perfect material. However, I made myself a promise when I started out that this business is going to be my outlet, something that I enjoy. I didn’t

want it to be stressful; just a fun, creative project, and whenever things are not going well, I try to just ‘let it go’ and remind myself why I set up the business. Looking back, if I had known beforehand what was involved, then maybe I wouldn’t have done it, so I’m happy that I did just jump in.

can make it happen. And if there’s a reason why it doesn’t happen, just own it. I tell that to my children as well – I don’t want to hear any excuses!

I can see that there is a lot going on – how do you balance it all with your home life?

Batsheva laughs here and tells me ‘I don’t! It’s very hard, it’s full on. I have help, and I no longer have babies; all of my children are in school so it is definitely much easier. I also work long hours, and I’m a real insomniac so I end up getting a lot done at night in my room when I can’t sleep.

Exercise is still my outlet, and I’ll fit it in around my work schedule and my children, so I’ll serve supper, supervise homework, then run off to the gym and be back in time for bedtime. In my schedule, everything has its own slot, and whilst there is a lot to do, I found that the key is to be organised and to make sure to keep things manageable.

I’m also very motivated, I’m not scared of work, and very importantly – I try not to sweat the small stuff.’

So what are your plans for your business? What pieces are you working on at the moment?

'My -5 year plan is definitely for the business to grow and to become well known. At the moment I do ship everywhere, yet I would like to extend more into the US. After my son’s wedding I aim to throw myself into it and hopefully find a shop there from which to sell my products.

I’m also currently working on a new exercise hoodie which is going to be absolutely gorgeous. It’s soft, lightweight, yet it’s also great for colder weather as it covers the hand completely; it even has an extra flap that acts as mittens.

It feels amazing on, and it’s just a lovely piece, definitely a luxury item. I’m still working on some tiny details – the zips on the last sample were too bulky and I wanted a different shaped cord, but I hope to see the last sample next week, and I’m really looking forward to it coming out.

Between running two businesses and a full household, Batsheva is definitely not one to make excuses for herself!

And now that I’ve invested in my b7active exercise gear, I definitely don’t have any excuses left of my own. Watch out on the road women: here I come!

Lastly, what advice would you give to someone starting out their own business? Do you have a personal motto?

‘If you have an idea, just do it - make sure that you have your family’s support and just do it. My motto is ‘No excuses’. If you’re late, if you broke your diet, if something went wrong, just own it. In every situation in life, if you really want something to happen, then you

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BUSINESS

ALL YOUR BUSINESS QUESTIONS

by Jude Fiddler

Jude Fiddler is a writer, business mentor, lawyer and the owner of DLP (UK) Ltd, an employment law and HR firm she set up 20 years ago. As part of her work, Jude is also business advisor to over 500 businesses and in her spare time sits on employment law tribunals in Watford.

What is your Why? The reason to set up a business is referred to as our ‘Why’. A Why is what drives us to our goals and sets us on the right path. A ‘Why’ can be anything – it could be to show the world our expert baking skills, to make a million pounds, to make our mothers proud, reduce the commute or achieve mortgage free living. These are all good Whys. Whys are personal and private but they need to be honest. If your Why is to spend more time with your children, but you end up working harder than ever, then something has gone wrong; you have been working to the wrong why - even with stacks of cash in the bank.

When I started my business, I didn’t have a clue. I had no experience, no master plan and no business qualifications. My business Why was quick and something I never saw coming. On an ordinary Wednesday, November 7th 2001 to be exact, my manager rejected a business idea I had presented to him, and which I later found crumpled up in his bin.

Yes, it sounds shallow now but I had to prove that the idea would work.

Now, some 20 years later, it is the very same business plan that I use to run my business. My goals and my Why have changed many times since then, including making my mum proud and being able to support my parents, but my current Why is the biggest yet. It’s the need to change an entire industry, and even if it’s just one employee at a time, every decision and strategy now only happens if it furthers my Why. So what’s your Why and how do you measure your success? Do you use your Why to lead your decision making? I’d love to hear your comments or any further business questions, and if you email them to Judith@dlp. org.uk we will address them in this column in our next edition.

QUESTIONS 1. I am 54 and an empty nester. I have never run my own business. I have an idea that I think will work but wonder if I’m too old or if it’s too late to start something new at my age, and if it is a risk?

Absolutely not! Age is no barrier for starting a business. In fact, it’s likely you have a strong network, a great support system and a proven business idea you’ve spent time on.

Maybe instead of overthinking your Why, ask yourself ‘Why not?’ A great exercise to do is to take 3 pages, on the first write ‘set up costs’ where you list the price of all resources you think you’ll need (hardware, email address, website, stock, products or materials).

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On the second, make a ‘business plan’, where you will write your business time line - where and what your business startup fund will be, how long you estimate it will be until you get your first paying customer, pricing, and then a prediction date for profitability.

The third page is for ‘sales’. Brainstorm your ideas, adding in costs or timings where relevant, and you can include details of competitors and how your product is different.

The interesting thing about this exercise isn’t what is written on the paper but rather the difference between those who complete this task and those who don’t. If you find yourself making excuses and not yet ready to spend time completing 3 pages, it is unlikely ya needed to start a business.

2. I am ready for my first member of staff and doing really well, do you think an apprentice is the way to go?

Apprenticeships are something that need to be considered carefully. There are a number of different schemes offering different levels of support, finance or training. Since April 2021 employers need to register with the Apprenticeship scheme which is a good place to start. The government website [How to take on an apprentice - GOV.UK (www.gov. uk)] is another place with great information. Whilst many employers have success stories, do remember that taking on an apprentice is not the same as having a work-ready employee. Apprenticeships can require a large investment of time which can be frustrating to a micro business. They also have legal protection due to their age and contract so termination, if required, can be complicated. Most employers write an honest job spec but I would advise adding your own risk assessment to each task showing what could happen if the task was unsupervised, completed badly or missed. Add in solutions to mitigate the risks and draw an assessment from those you can’t limit or don’t have time to check to see if this the right move for your business. The bottom line is that taking on an apprentice is not something to do lightly, it’s something you need to research.

3. What are the best lessons or greatest skills you need in business?

Great question. The most important lesson in business, no matter what you sell or do, is showing up. Being consistent, being reliable, and offering good customer service sounds simple. If you get this right you are over 50% of the way there.

The amount of people in small businesses who don’t anwer the phone or call back potential customers is astounding.

Small business owners work so hard to get customers that the thought of not returning phone calls is absurd yet it happens every day. If you have an email or web enquiry page then make sure you answer it. Customers are hard to keep and easy to lose. Your repuation is something you need to protect.

and aren’t similar. The answer to whether or not you have to disclose your work or your plan is likely to be found in your contract. Without a signed contract in place, it will likely depend on the relationship you have with your managers whether you want to disclose this. There is no legal need to disclose a potential future date of leaving and it may not be something they want to hear so tread cautiously - once the cat is out of the bag there is no taking it back. But if there is no breach, and you still want to tell them this, it should be done in a way that assures them of your commitment and that it will not interfere with your own work. If you choose to disclose and then find yourself being treated differently it, may be worth keeping a diary and possibly seeking legal advice if you consider any treatment unfair.

5. I run a small company making baked goods, I am doing well and love what I do. My family are pushing me to expand and get better premises but I am not sure I want a bigger business; I just love baking and don’t want to be a boss.

Your concerns are genuine and need considering. If your Why is your love of baking then think carefully about how expansion may change that. Hiring a baker as a first employee means you are likely to take on more admin, accounts and sales. On the other hand, recruiting office staff may mean you can keep baking. Once you start to expand, issues start to get larger and will come at you faster. You would need to consider issues with staff, premises, employee rights (including sick pay, holidays and pensions), increased customer issues, problems with quality, personal service, logistics relating to increased stock, orders and deliveries, and so on. Expansion brings increased turnover and profit, but this in turn brings different and additional costs and pressures. It’s worth going back to your Why and making sure that it is factored in and any expansion takes place under certain controls and rules so that you don’t lose your Why or stop doing what you love.

4. I work in a part time in a City corporate environment and I am setting up my own business on the side. The idea is that when I can make a living wage on my own, I will leave and run my business full time. My question is, do I need to tell my manager what I’m planning and that I will likely leave in the next 2 or 3 years?

It’s not clear if your business would be in competition with your current employent. You should check your written statement of terms and conditions to see if you are able to set up your own business, or if any work would be a breach of your current terms. Many corporate contracts include the need to ask for written permission to work in any other role whilst employed - even where the two roles don’t compete

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1. Perspective.

Negative feedback can hurt but keep it in perspective. One complaint from a hundred customers does not necessarily need to be listened to. You certainly don’t need to change or bend to accommodate 1% of your custom base.

2. Profit is Sanity and Turnover is Vanity.

Business turnover means very little.

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company with £80k income and with 50% margin is always stronger than a business with a £1m turnover and 4% margin even though both businesses make the same £40k profit.

3. Promote yourself.

In today’s business world, every business, no matter what the sector, needs to be a media company first and then work on their products or services second. The good news is that this is relatively cheap and easy. The bad news is that to be successful is a huge commitment in energy and time. Remember also to measure you return, and test what works and doesn’t work on your followers or friends.

4. Professional advice.

Professional advice: So many business owners take advice from the wrong people; quoting an accountant about data protection makes as much sense as seeking a medical opinion from a fishmonger. Only take business advice from those who are experts (not specialists) in what they do.

Getting the wrong advice from the wrong people can create more problems than it solves.

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VALOUR wedding

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AforDress a Bride The audience sit enraptured, as on the pure white stage, the lights flash and sweep.

The music swells and rises to a crescendo as the next model enters.

She sweeps across the catwalk in full bridal attire, train spanning out behind her as she flicks her veil, the beads on her dress glinting in the light.

A Dress for a Bride

By Zahava Mimran The audience sit enraptured, as on the pure white stage, the lights flash and sweep.

The music swells and rises to a crescendo as the next model enters.

She sweeps across the catwalk in full bridal attire, train spanning out behind her as she flicks her veil, the beads on her dress glinting in the light.

By Zahava Mimra Photo: Leivi Saltman Photography 95

Hats Off to Nerida

It’s the Grand Bridal Dress show, and the manufacturers are here to display their new collection. Later, the room will be thronged with models in bridal dresses of every colour, style, and type, in lace, brocade, tulles and nets, as they mingle with the crowd, handing out glossy brochures and catalogues. Crowds of women hurry around, notebooks in hand, pens at the ready, touching and examining the gowns as they survey the wares.

The companies here are looking for interest, for customers, and ultimately, for big orders. For Elisheva Kramer though, armed with her notebook and camera, she isn’t here to buy yet. She’s here to scout out dresses that she can adapt to fit the modest specifications of the gowns she sells at her home business ‘The Beautiful Bride’, which caters to Jewish brides throughout the UK. They’re looking for modest gowns, but they’re also looking for beautiful gowns, and Elisheva's here to make that happen.

Covid permitting, she travels a few times a year to Bridal shows around the world to source dresses for her diverse collection. ‘It’s absolutely hectic there,’ she says. ‘Companies come from all around the world to display their latest collection, and they really want you to place orders on the spot. I can’t do that though, it’s too much pressure, and I need a few days to let everything settle and to make my choices.’ Instead, Elisheva takes copious notes and pictures, and orders later.

Although it sounds like a fairy-tale job, Elisheva explains

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that it’s not as much fun as it sounds. ‘I’m not necessarily ordering dresses that I like; it’s not about my taste, it’s about what the girls want. I remember the first time I attended a show, I went wild and ordered the most beautiful dresses I saw, yet I ended up donating some of them to charity shops.

When I choose, I have to bear in mind the last ten kallahs who walked through my door, and order based on their preferences. I also need to think about what I need, as I like to have a diverse range; so it’s more about filling in the gaps in my stock than going wild.’

Although companies usually like customers to take around five or ten dresses, she points out that with our close-knit communities she can’t do that, as social circles overlap a lot, and brides don’t want guests to see them in a gown that they’ve seen recently on someone else. Instead of a bulk order, she usually takes a collection of what she thinks will be popular in the coming months. ‘I find it’s a lot of mazel,’ she admits, ‘Sometimes I’ll choose dresses and they’ll just fly off the shelf, other times I’ll find that they just don’t go.’

The difference with Elisheva’s orders is that they all needed to be adapted to fit modest requirements. ‘I’m asking the manufacturers to change the gowns’, she says, ‘It’s not something that every company will do, definitely not the big brands who are churning out thousands of dresses - although I do still like to meet them at the Shows, and see the current fashions. However, I usually go with smaller companies, for whom it is worth it to adapt their gowns.’ At the moment,

Elisheva works with around 4 companies, at four different price points. ‘I’ve learnt that people like having the options of different price brackets, and also, each company has their own style. Some make more luxurious gowns, others are more A-line, or classic, so it’s good to work with a variety.’

Elisheva is very particular about the companies and brands she works with. First and foremost, it is important that they understand what we are looking for in a modest dress.

Elisheva recalls being shown some absolutely awful dresses after telling companies that she was looking for a modest dress. ‘They have to understand that we’re not looking for thick dowdy dresses. Our brides want to look modest, yet they still want to look beautiful, with beautiful fabrics and designs. The dresses also have to be well sewn. I once ordered some lovely dresses but they were sewn so badly they didn’t look good on. A dress can be absolutely beautiful, but if it isn’t sewn right, it won’t fit well or look good.’

Another thing that is very important is the timing. ‘NonJewish engagements are very long, and these companies are used to having months to play around with,’ she tells me.

‘When a Kallah comes to me to choose a dress a few weeks after she gets engaged, she often only has two months or so until her wedding, so we really aren’t working with a lot of time here. Therefore if a company doesn’t have a quick turnover time, it doesn’t work for me. I’ve also found that it works better when the company has the manufacturing team on site, so that I can speak to them and they can tell me exactly what stage of production the dress is at and even send me pictures of it. When the manufacturing team is not on site, it’s just too many middle-men to be dealing with, especially when we are

'Much as I have seen the dress during all the fittings and appointments, nothing compares to how it looks on a bride on the day of the wedding.' so pressured for time.’

Once Elisheva returns home, she’ll scrutinise the dresses and work out how to adapt them for Jewish kallahs. An artistic person, she sometimes makes sketches of possible changes, working out how to keep it beautiful yet still modest.

Following that, she will ask the manufacturers to remake the dresses according to her specifications. ‘Not all dresses can be adapted,’ she notes. ‘A dress might be beautiful but when it’s filled in up to the neckline it would be too heavy. You have to look at every detail and think it through carefully. Lace, for example, is easy to line, yet you might have details like a silver thread which you don’t notice when seeing it in nude, so you have to get that taken out if you don’t want to end up with a silver and white dress.’ By now though, the manufacturers know the rules – sometimes Elisheva will forget to mention something and they’ll point it out to her.

With a massive selection of gowns, Elisheva spends most of her mornings meeting with brides and helping them to choose a dress. Sometimes, a bride will see a dress, love it but prefer a different fabric, shape, or design. Elisheva can then work with the manufacturer to customise the dress according to the bride's specifications to create her dream dress.

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As it is important to most brides that their dress looks unique, Elisheva is very careful to ensure that no two girls from the same area will end up wearing the same dress within a specific time-frame. Additionally, when a bride chooses a dress, she will always tell her who wore the dress before her.

‘I remember once asking a girl if she wanted to know who had worn the dress, and at first, she insisted that she didn’t. When she finally asked me to tell her, I gave her the list of names, and she realised that her Chosson’s sister had worn that very dress as a bride. Needless to say, she chose a different style.’

With the bride’s dream dress chosen, it’s down to just fittings and alterations. Elisheva keeps a stock of materials and samples, and she works closely with a local Jewish seamstress, who with her years of experience in bridal dresses works her magic altering the dress as much as necessary until the bride is happy with her perfect fit. ‘Girls often tell me that they don’t want the typical ‘Jewish dress’ but when you have a completely modest dress, it is going to look somewhat Jewish. We can try to change things a little, but at the end of the day, I always say, ‘It’s the person who wears the dress.’ I’ve had two kallahs who were poles apart wear exactly the same dress, but it looked like a completely different dress on each of them.’

‘At the end of the day, the dress is a massive part of the wedding day,’ Elisheva explains, ‘A bride has to love it, and feel special in it, and it has to look good on her. You only get married once, and it’s important that I can find a dress that will work for each bride. Mothers tell me that they’ll save money on everything but the dress, and I’ve found that if a bride is excited about her dress, she’ll feel excited about the day. Sometimes, I get a girl calling me a week or two before the wedding, asking to have a look at their dress again – saying that they’re not sure about it. And you know what it really is? They’re nervous – they’ve got wedding nerves. But they can’t say that, so they tell me that it’s the dress they are unsure about. They try it on, and they remember that yes - they do love it, and it helps to calm them down.

The bridal business is definitely a very beautiful one to be working in. When brides come in, you get to see some really beautiful relationships, especially between mother and daughter. There’s also a lot of amazing kindness; in the past I’ve scheduled an appointment with a bride and then received

a phone-call beforehand telling me that money has been collected for this wedding, and that I should raise the budget a certain amount without telling the bride. It’s really a very special honour to be a part of this momentous day.’

Elisheva loves popping into chuppahs, to get a chance to see the brides in their dresses, and she even has a lovely custom of going to help local brides don their dresses on the day of their wedding. ‘People offer to pay me for it, but I absolutely refuse. Much as I have seen the dress during all the fittings and appointments, nothing compares to how it looks on a bride on the day of the wedding. It’s my nachas, and I consider it my part in the mitzva of being mesameach chosson v’kallah.’

Model Sissy Rose Dresses by The Beautiful Bride Bridal Headpieces Belissima by Chaygit (Gemach) Makeup by Tova Altusky Hair by Kayla Hollander Cupcakes by Carri Styling by Chaya Baumgarten Flowers by Tudor Green Florists Diamonds by Michelle collection

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THE WIG THAT DOES IT ALL

RAFAELIE WIG SPECIALIST

Superior quality hair Custom made Personal service

07931 721036 101

A GUIDE TO SHEVA BROCHOS PLANNING Coming up with an idea/theme

At Simchas by Shana we have been helping people make their simchas more memorable and special by turning ideas into actuality for many years. We specialise in customising and branding any simcha/ function to leave a lasting impression on the guests.

As a party business, we supply all props and decor for simchas, be it invitations, place-cards, party favours, welcome boxes, menu cards, and much more. We specialise in themed events such as Sheva Brochos and Upsherin parties - creating and supplying props, table decor and centrepieces to match your themes. Along with a massive range of acrylic numbers to match all tablescapes and rentable props, we work closely with caterers, linen suppliers and florists to make sure that the table stationery is perfectly matched, and fits in with all the different elements. We realise that not everyone has the same budget and that is fine - it has never stopped us producing beautiful products to enhance your simchas.

Alongside this, we also run a complete event planning service, where we ensure your Simcha runs smoothly and that no detail is overlooked. This enables you to relax and enjoy the event knowing that everything has been taken care of. At Simchas by Shana, we will look after all aspects from the booking of venues, vendors, and every last detail up until the lost property at the end of the function. Additionally, we also oversee all travel and dining details (including sightseeing) for your guests, ensuring you have a smooth run up to your function. visit our Instagram page @simchas_by_shana to view some samples of our products. Looking forward to beautifying your simcha soon!

Shana and the team

Offering to make Sheva Brochos is one thing, coming up with a memorable theme is quite another. Is there something that you know about the Chosson or Kallah that you want to make into the theme of this Sheva Brochos? It could be something about the family, your connection to the family or something typically ‘them’.

Ideas could include friendship, travel, food, school, camp or anything at all! If you can’t think of something that fits, (it could be the third time or so that you are making for the same family and you are clean out of ideas!!) then look at the names of the Chosson and Kallah. Perhaps their initials will give you an idea. For example: Yisroel and Sarah Levy give the initials YSL, which gives you an instant logo with which to work, or Malki and Simcha - M&S - gives you both a theme and a colour scheme.

Mr Men and Little Miss is an easy way of making everyone feel good and customising each place-card with the person’s characteristics.

Often, clients stuck for an idea just pick a colour scheme and we either use the wedding logo or create a bespoke one for the evening, and then tie it into the colour scheme.

When the Sheva Brochos is within a day or two after the wedding, we can use the flowers from the wedding, and then match table stationery or party favours to them.

However, the most important thing is that the Chosson, Kallah, and their families can see that you put some thought An invitation makes the evening something to look forward into the evening. to. The big question is: Do you want to give away your theme or idea with a themed invitation, or do you want to make a smart/ funky invitation. Online, WhatsApp, and email invitations also work really well - these were popular before Covid too.

Invitations

Colour Scheme

Once you have chosen your theme, it’s time to work on your colour palate. Some themes will come with their own colours, for example, a beach theme or a Coca Cola theme will dictate which colours you need to work with. Some venues are already decorated and you can just go along with what they offer and then match your table décor to that.

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Centrepieces

It’s very important to think about where centrepieces will be placed. A large, wide centrepiece will be in the way at a restaurant with long narrow tables, whilst small low centrepieces, such as mini vases and candles will be a much better fit, yet might look wrong on a big round table for 10.

Centrepieces don’t always need to be themed, just as long as the colouring works with whatever else is on your table.

Menu

It is always fun to theme the food too, wherever possible. A fitness themed Sheva Brochos can start off with a healthy salad, a tennis themed Sheva Brochos could end off with strawberries and cream for dessert and Pimm’s with the drinks. Even if you do not wish to match the theme and food, a menu card could match the overall table stationery, colour scheme and theme.

Little Touches Little touches are a way of making the evening more memorable, and the list is really endless. They could include a photo chocolate, place mats, name cards, custom napkins, branded drink bottles, party favours, bentchers, or even themed t-shirts for the Chosson and Kallah.

However, we do sit with the client to make sure that the items they choose will work with the overall table size, colour-scheme, theme, and above all, will stay within their budget.

Entertainment

A good speaker is a must. It doesn’t have to be a long speech, but explaining the connection between your theme and the Chosson and Kallah is important. Games can be good fun but know your crowd – they don’t work for everyone. If you do choose to have games, they can be created to go with your theme, for example you might play a Highway Code game for a car themed Sheva Brochos, for which we would print a little booklet with some highway signs and ask the guests to describe them in relation to the Chosson and kallah. If you don’t have a theme, or don’t need your game to match it, you can also stick with the regular Chosson Kallah games. ‘Mr and Mrs’ is a great one to get people laughing and requires very little work, and Bingo is also a popular one.

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Photography by Leivi Saltman

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The Perfect Flowers Zahava Mimran

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t the centre of the stage stands a huge arc composed of hundreds of flowers.

Its base is coated in a deep red which morphs into a lighter pink and finally flows into white at the top. The cream backdrop adds an elegant touch, and beneath reclines a white leather couch, it’s back an elegant downwards slope. On the floor, red petals flutter across the stage, completing the vivid scene.

It’s a wedding setting, and Esther Itzinger of Tudor Greens and her team have just finished arranging the flowers in the hall. It’s been a hectic day, with an early deadline, and although the team are one worker down, they’ve made it just in time.

Esther’s professionality and her expert creations belie her humble beginnings.

‘I never thought I would be doing this,’ she confesses to me. When she married her husband just over seven years ago, she had known that his grandparents owned a flower shop in Stamford Hill, yet it had just been another fact about her new relatives. However, soon after their marriage, his grandmother decided to retire and asked Esther if she and her husband would be interested in taking it over. ‘I was really hesitant,’ she says, ‘I didn’t know anything about flowers, and I had a job working as a medical secretary, which I loved. Yet my father persuaded me to just give it a try - and now I wouldn’t give it up for anything!’

Esther’s first year working with flowers involved a lot of googling and YouTube tutorials. ‘There wasn’t much expectation amongst our customer base,’ she explained. ‘The shop in Stamford Hill was very run down, and our customers were really just happy with whatever we could do.’ However, she and her husband had a vision, and a year later she took a professional floristry course so that they could branch out more. ‘We started by renovating the Stamford Hill shop and revamping our brand and what we had to offer. We built up a more progressive clientele base, and we’ve just opened

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our second shop in Golders Green.’ Originally a restaurant, the Itzingers had to redo the whole place, designing it from scratch and getting their furniture tailor made. Although a beautiful and modern shop, unlike most other shops, Tudor Greens opens only on Thursdays and Fridays, so that people can buy flowers for Shabbos. At other times, people can get in touch with Esther or order online through their website, which features all of their bespoke creations.

‘In the beginning when we didn’t have children, we used to go together every Thursday at around four am to buy our flowers in the morning from the flower market,’ Esther says.

Now though, her husband goes alone and usually leaves at six. ‘We’ve built up a good relationship with the suppliers there and they put aside flowers for us so that we don’t have to get there that early,’ she explains, ‘Although it’s still a tough journey; at six in the morning the trip takes roughly an hour each way.’

The market supplies flowers from all over the world, from Holland to South Africa to South America. ‘In order to keep them fresh, they send them as quickly as possible,’ Esther says. ‘You can have flowers arriving in a lorry from Holland in the morning, and they’ll be in my shop that very same day, so I’m selling very fresh produce.’ With everything sold in bulk, the Itzingers buy thousands of stems a week; in roses alone they usually go through one and a half to two thousand every Shabbos between their two shops. ‘We are very particular about the quality of our flowers,’ Esther tells me. ‘Some people order online, which is very convenient,

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and we actually had to do that during covid. However, in my opinion, the benefits of choosing fresh flowers in person definitely outweighs the convenience. We have a good rapport with the suppliers and they make sure that we can always get what we are looking for.’ For weddings, Esther will also order through the market suppliers, although she will make the order in advance. ‘We like them to arrive a day or two before the wedding, and sometimes it’s nicer if they are not as fresh, so that on the day of the wedding they have opened up a bit and you see their full beauty, as opposed to them being tightly closed.’

With the flowers often taking centre stage at a wedding setting (after the bride of course), selecting and arranging them is a big process. When a bride comes to Tudor Greens for flowers, Esther’s task is to take the bride’s vision and turn it into a reality. With so many kinds, colours, and styles of flowers available, the possibilities are endless, and the first step will always be meeting the bride and getting a feel for her character and the kind of look she is going for. Is it very bridal? Perhaps dark and moody? Some brides want a really elegant, or put together look, whilst others may opt for something garden inspired. On top of that, there’s also the colour palette to think about. Some brides come to her with a specific picture in their head, which Esther will then work to create, yet others may have no idea what they are looking for.

‘In that case,’ Esther says, ‘I’ll look through flower designs and creations with them, and ask them what they do or don’t like, until we’ve built up a picture of their style. Sometimes,

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I’ll also ask them to make a Pinterest board of flowers they like, which can also be very helpful.’

The day before the wedding, Esther and her team will make up all the arrangements, leaving the day of the wedding free for delivery, for which they often hire a van.

Sometimes though, the backdrop will have to be created on site, which can take anywhere up to three hours, so understandably it can be hectic. For big events, Esther will always employ a team, however, this doesn’t always work as well as expected. ‘We use freelancers who have no obligation to us, and therefore they do sometimes let us down. It’s difficult as they can be very hard to replace, especially if they back out at the last minute, and it usually means that the team has to work harder and that things get a lot more hectic.’

Aside from the actual flowers, Tudor Green also maintains a large inventory of different props for centrepieces and décor. When designing their Golders Green shop, they installed ceiling storage which now holds a vast array of vases of all types, colours, styles and heights, as well as candelabras, floating candles and even a gorgeous modern kallah chair. ‘We originally bought that

for my sister’s wedding,’ Esther told me. ‘It was a covid wedding and we did it at my parent’s house, so it was small but incredibly beautiful.’

‘Wedding pieces are extremely satisfying to make,’ she admits. ‘But I really love creating each and every design.

Give me a bunch of flowers, no deadlines, and I’m as happy as could be.’ Each arrangement on the Tudor Green website is entirely original, and Esther is continuously researching new fashions, techniques, and ways of arranging flowers.

‘I also love the human contact involved,’ she smiles. ‘I used to be extremely shy, yet working in a shop, meeting customers, and advising them really helps to take you out of your shell. I’ve learnt to have confidence in myself and my abilities, and I enjoy getting to meet and know people.’

It must also be a great source of nachas to her grandfather to see his grandson working on the business her grandmother unfortunately is no longer alive. ‘I’m sure he is happy that the business is still in the family, and I very much hope that he is proud of what we have done with it,’ Esther says, ‘And with all the efforts we have invested in it, my dream is to leave it to my own children one day.’

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"...and sometimes it’s nicer if they are not as fresh, so that on the day of the wedding they have opened up a bit and you see their full beauty"

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A Waterdale Home

By Zahava Mimran

Hadassah Schauder had always been a massive fan of Waterdale products, an American home décor and Judaica brand for the Jewish home.

‘I used to follow them on Instagram; I love how each product is just so beautifully made, so innovative and unique. I’d always dreamt of owning so many products from their collection,’ she says. Little did she know, she would one day be the proud owner of a ‘Waterdale home.'

When Hadassah made the move back from Israel to Manchester, she began to look for something which she could do from home, enabling her to look after her children whilst she worked. One day, she was browsing the Waterdale collection on Instagram, when she had a brainwave. ‘I sent them a message, offering to sell their products in the UK. I really thought they’d never get back to me – I didn’t even bother telling my husband what I’d done’. So it came as a surprise when she received a reply from them that very night, telling her that they were interested in discussing it. Although Waterdale products were already being sold in a few stores in the UK, the company was eager to expand further. With their blessing, Hadassah set up her business, ordering from the company who then ship to her directly from China where they produce their range.e 'We started exactly a year ago', she says, ‘And I thought that it would be just a small home business - Waterdale themselves had told me to start small. It was Chanuka time which is a great time for gifting, so I bought the entire Chanuka collection from them and stored it in my spare bedroom. However, due to its popularity, as soon as people heard that I was stocking it, I began to get flooded with requests. At that point I told my husband 'We’ve got to get bigger.'r Alongside selling from their beautiful website, they now sell wholesale to various Judaica and Gifting shops throughout the UK, and have moved their storage from their spare bedroom to a nearby warehouse. They’ve also recently begun selling into Antwerp, and are currently looking to expand throughout Europe.e 'We stock a large selection of the Waterdale collection, but it’s always challenging to know what quantities to bring. When we have new items, we tend to order just a few, until we see how they sell. Staples, on the other hand, we order in much bigger quantities, like the Netilas Yadayim cups for example’. In general though, the products speak for themselves and fly off the shelves. ‘The thing with Waterdale,’ Hadassah points out, ‘Is that as each piece is launched, it is totally unique.

They also pay incredible attention to detail and they do an amazing job of balancing practicality and usability; creating products that are convenient whilst also enhancing your home and table. Not only that, but everything is acrylic or leather so it’s all wipe clean. They come out with new pieces all the time, and are constantly innovating. My contact in America tells me that when she goes to bed that’s what she dreams of at night!

They have a really massive selection; I remember being so excited when the art pieces came out. I just had to get a kosel hanging for my home - it adds so much beauty to the room. I also love my acrylic wig heads, and they make fantastic presents for newlyweds. Although in truth, really any of their products would make a perfect present for a Chosson and kallah.'h Hadassah finds it a very satisfying business to work in – ‘We get great feedback and there’s nothing like going to peoples’ houses and seeing items from the collection there. We also love being able to satisfy our customers. We once received a bulk order for a campaign that was taking place the following week, and although we usually can’t deliver in such timeframes, we worked really hard, went through the US, and we pulled it off in 4 days. To us, customer satisfaction is our main priority, and we take pride in our many happy clients’.

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112 Waterdale Collection UK 0333 772 7434 | info@waterdalecollection.co.uk | 21 Broughton Road East, Salford, M6 6GL

VALOUR PROMOTION

UK

Waterdale are excited to now offer gift registries for engaged couples or for any occasion. Simple and easy to use, you can view some of their extensive selection below.

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Magnificent Lucite Valet Stand Gift someone this magnificent Lucite Valet.

Featuring a jacket stand, trousers rack & an accessory holder. Thick, luxury, crystal clear lucite. A statement piece like no other.

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6 Luxurious frosted Lucite Bencher Cards in a modern

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thick marble lucite holder. Easy to read. Wipe clean.

An exclusive Waterdale art collection!

This beautiful exquisite Painted Lucite Bais Hamikdash is printed on crystal clear lucite with metallic gold addition for an almost fully original feel.

Coordinate this masterpiece with others in the same collection.

Stunning Lucite Washing Cup. This most perfect Netilat Yadayim cup features luxuriously thick lucite, 2 beautiful easy-pour handles, and 4 rubber bases to ensure a sturdy and non-slip base.100% perfect according to Halacha, as this design does not have a spout, and features 2 handles.

This magnificent Lucite Wig Head allows you to display your wig in style! Easily secure, pin or style your wig on the foam top, mounted on gorgeous crystal clear lucite.

No more hiding that styrofoam wig head. Perfect for your dresser, closet, guest room, mother-in-law, or new bride.

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Modern Floating Lucite Al Hamichya printed on thick crystal clear lucite.

This lucite Al Hamichyah flows so nicely in every style of decor.

8 Square Pleather Hardcover Benchers in a luxury thick crystal clear lucite holder with a mirrored base. Easy to read.

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This magnificent, one-of-a-kind Lucite Challah Board features a layer of marble lucite covered with tempered, heat and scratch resistant glass. Light and easy to carry, with modern stainless-steel gold or silver handles! Lends the perfect class to your table!

10 COMING SOON COMING SOON This perfect Lucite Dip Bowl Set features clear lucite dip bowls, accented covers, and metal spoons. The bowls are raised above a modern lucite base, making this gorgeous and easy to use. Remove the individual bowls while using, or keep together as one set. Coordinate with the other items in our twig collection; pan holders, caddies, cups and more.

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These multi-use Lucite Smart Decor Panz have every feature you wanted! Enjoy the convenience of using a disposable pan, while enhancing your table decor. Place your filled 9x13 OR 8X8 disposable pan directly into the dish. Then hide the rim with the second lucite layer, keeping your disposable pan completely out of site. Use the clear lucite lid to cover your dish and keep your food warm.

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Wedding Guest Style Edit

By Lauren Pedro, Personal Stylist and Confidence Coach

In the past, I have styled both men and women, yet since adopting a more modest lifestyle, my focus and style have both changed. My new speciality is directed at women, and in taking a plain capsule wardrobe and jazzing it up with bold accessories. I love to create surprising combinations, such as a modest, glamorous dress with a pair of Converse All Stars and wear this for a high-end event! I believe that you can be modest, yet still look attractive but not attracting, and you can look dignified but not frumpy. On that note, let’s talk fashion, winter and weddings for the upcoming season.

If I told you that everything you ever believed about wedding outfit codes pre-pandemic is long gone, and that you can chuck your preconceptions out of the window along with your most glamorous pair of high heels, you would call me crazy! We all love any opportunity to get dressed up, with a winter wedding definitely being the perfect opportunity. Yet what does ‘being dressed up’ in today’s new norm mean?

Creeping in to a synagogue near you, you may see the latest trend sneaking in. It’s called ‘comfort’. Watch out for the classic biker style jacket in an array of colours and fabrics, the fancy floral maxi dress teamed with a pair of platform trainers (Yes, you heard it - and it’s not even Yom Kippur), or the must have pair of chunky, funky boots.

Currently, the top winter wedding guest dresses are a perfect balance of elegance, comfort and style. Whether you have a wedding, Sheva Brachot, or are just looking for a new Shabbat outfit, here are my three favourite trends this season.

In a world where clothing is a personal statement of identity, what do your clothes say about you?

For a personal styling session, to cleanse your wardrobe, or for a social media profile makeover visit: www.laurenpedro.com.

Follow me on my new Instagram account @laurenpedrostylist, or WhatsApp me for a style consultation on 07880824471

Trend 1: Colour Clash

After a tough couple of years of being stuck indoors, grab your beloved oversized sunglasses (yes, even in the winter) and get ready, because my favourite trend this season is the colour clash. Bring some life into your clothes and clash, clash, clash – the brighter the better! If you’re feeling bold, the best way to style yourself for ultimate impact is to ignore everything you’ve ever been told about ‘clashing colours’ because red and pink, and orange and green are getting matchy matchy this season. Who wants a dreary celebration? Creating and recreating great style often means breaking the fashion rules. Even the royals are rocking this trend so it must have the royal stamp of approval!

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1. Never Fully Dressed Disco Groove Midi Dress £89.99 2. Never Fully Dressed Lurex orange and pink colour block Clash Midi Dress £99 3a & 3b. Never fully dressed bomber £99 4. Never Fully Dressed Pink Zebra Midi £99 5. Boden Jewelled Chandelier Earrings Red Multi £40 6. Trend Tonic Flame Earrings £18 7. Shoes Boden £120

Trend 2: Shimmer & Shine

FASHION

Everyone loves a bit of sparkle to create that stylish yet dignified look, so sparkle, ladies, and don’t worry as sequins and sparkle never get old! Sequins and shimmer look great both in the daytime and at night so why not take the look to Sheva Brachot, and carry on the celebrations in true glamorous style!

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Shimmer & Shine: 1. Ghospell Icicle Shirring Midi Dress £89 2. Coast Black Sequin Dress Now £119.20 Was £249 3. All Saints Jeula Sequin Dress in silver or black £199 4. ASOS Edition drape sleeve midi sequin dress Was £150.00 Now £60 5. River Island Jewelled Buckle Boots £55 6. John Lewis - Melissa Odabash Swarovski Crystal Initial Pendant Necklace, Silver £40 7a. Sparkling Double Hoop Earrings Rose Gold £70.00 7b. Sparkling Double Hoop Earrings Silver £60 8. Wallis rose gold Sequin Jacket Now £44.10 Was £49

Trend 3: Leather & Pleather

Matching sets aren’t just for denim so why not try a head-to-toe leather look? The heavy-duty fabric is good for the winter and is very versatile as it works well in all seasons, no matter what the weather decides to do. You can also wear it as separates so you get more value for your money, and it is a nice staple addition to any wardrobe.

I recently attended an outdoor Chuppah rocking a double ‘pleather’ look, where I combined a black leather shirt, a leather midi pencil skirt, and bling chunky patent boots with diamante detail. I simply added a splash of colour with my small clutch bag and a few accessories and the compliments just rolled in! There you have it; comfort and style for a dignified look. What’s even better is that my feet didn’t ache when dancing. Ultimately, you don’t have to be extravagant to look stylish, modest, and on trend. I love mixing a bit of H&M and Primark with a high-end brand, and my clients love it too!

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Leather & Pleather: 1. Ted baker Brown Leather Faux Dress £350 2. Ted Baker Midnight Knit and Faux Leather Illusion Midi Dress £250 3. Toffee Faux Leather Shirt Dress, Vegan Espirit £75 4. Zara Faux Leather Black Pinafore Skirt £49.99 5. Stradivarius Ecru Heeled Boots £55.99 6. Leather necklace Etsy £50 7. Zara Flat Leather Studded boots £49.99 8. ABERCROMBIE & Fitch Leather Biker Jacket £99.99

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VALOUR PROMOTION

Your One Stop Boutique Salon Salon Gelli Zahava Mimran

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t was on a Monday morning when Gelli Lubelsky turned to her husband and told him, ‘We’re going to New York.’ Three days later they were on a plane. Gelli had decided she wanted to do a beauty course, but not just any course. . ‘I wanted to learn everything; hair, wigs, makeup.’ With little patience for learning slowly, Gelli spent two weeks in America privately studying everything she needed to know about the trade. The following week, back in London, she was ready to start, and in the almost six years since, Gelli has turned her business into a full-scale brand. With her constant training under renowned hair and beauty gurus across England and America, she has since expanded her services even further to include nails; making her salon a one stop beauty shop.

Whilst Gelli began by working from home, she wanted to be able to offer women the full salon experience. ‘Women have so little time to themselves, that when they come to have their wig done, or for a beauty treatment, I want it to be a special relaxing and pampering experience.

So when the apartment beneath Gelli’s became available, she grabbed the opportunity, and her salon was born. The space consists of a large salon and a kitchen where all the wig washing and colouring takes place. There’s also a large spare room for her own use, where she keeps her piano which she plays on to help her to unwind. Being an old Georgian building, it gives off a very ‘Harley Street’ feel, and Gelli tells me, ‘My clients absolutely love coming here. They tell me that they feel like they’ve walked out of Stamford Hill.’

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One of her favourite parts of the business is her ‘Revamp’ service, where Gelli brings old wigs to life.

She tells me, ‘I love when somebody walks in with a wig that’s ready to be thrown out, or one they’ve never been happy with, and then walks out with a beautiful wig.

Someone brought me four wigs recently, completely distraught. Each of them had a different issue, but we managed to find the problems and fix them one by one, and she left with four stunning wigs. I will always tell women in advance what can and can’t be done, whether it’s taking out or adding hair, texturising, thinning, or colouring. I tell them how long it will extend their wig life, and I always ask them - with a wink, ‘Do you want me to tell you that it’s ready for the bin? Or that you can do something with it?’ Some women just need me to validate that it’s time to let go and buy a new one, whilst others want to hear that they can get another year or two out of it.’

With such a successful business B’’H, Gelli confesses, ‘I never envisioned myself doing this but I’m so happy in this industry. I would never be here without my husband David’s trust and support. As a business consultant, he had the vision for me to turn this into a brand, and I worked so hard to get to where I am now. I’m beyond proud to bring clients into my new place.’

Although that’s not to say Gelli doesn’t have her plans.

I’d love to offer waxing, massages, maybe even laser hair-removal here one day,’ she says. ‘I’d also love to get to the stage where I have enough workers that we can take on more than one client at a time, but it’s baby steps.’

Wig services: Amongst the many services Salon Gelli offers are the usual updos, hairstyles and cuts. ‘I just love cutting hair and wigs,’ Gelli admits. ‘Thinning, reshaping, fixing up messy cuts. It gives me such satisfaction!’ Aside from styling wigs, Gelli also sells a wide range of wigs, from cheap and affordable to the more expensive and exclusive varieties. ‘I never wanted to sell expensive wigs but my clients ask for them,’ she tells me. ‘However, I’m very honest and I will always tell a woman if a wig is worth paying for or if I can get her something equally as beautiful for a cheaper price.’ Gelli herself wears Beverly wigs – an Israeli product which she brings over and describes as ‘Absolutely amazing’. ‘A lot of my sales are to Brides. I love giving them a pleasant and easy experience from the start, and guiding them through what seems to be an overwhelming experience of purchasing their first wigs. I try to simplify it and make them look and feel their most beautiful.’Needing to know how everything is done, Gelli went to learn about lace wigs from a professional in the theatre and production industry. ‘A fascinating woman, she taught me how to build an entire lace front by hand from scratch,’ Gelli says, ‘but it takes an inordinate amount of time.’ Whilst Gelli doesn’t build lace wigs herself, she loves customising them and filling in the hairline for clients. ‘This way we have all the services under one roof.’

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VALOUR PROMOTION

When I designed this mirror and shelf combination, the designer asked me where I had seen it. I told him, ‘In my head.’ He said ‘It’s ridiculous, it’s never going to work.’ Turns out, it did! Help yourself to a chocolate, or a dab of perfume.

I had this chair custom made. It’s really thick and so comfortable and luxurious.

I find that once women sit down in it, it literally becomes a ‘Therapist’s Chair’, and women confide in me. I think that because when a woman finally sits down for a few minutes, she starts to think, and then things start to come out. Also, I’m usually standing behind the women as they talk, as opposed to facing them, so they have the security of that little bit of distance - and I’ve also got a great listening ear...

I custom designed my bags in Turkey just under a year ago, and I love them.

They are really good quality and people reuse them all the time.

A TOUR OF THE SALON

It’s Salon Gelli. Lovingly designed by Gelli herself down to every last detail, to give you the experience you deserve.

For the VIP touch! I love how everything fits the colour scheme, down to the Nespresso box and the personalised cups!

This wall is my pride and joy.

It took me about three hours to put up, single-handedly, with a ladder, wall glue and some fake flowers. When I opened the salon I rebranded my logo, which I had custom made including the font. For the big ‘S’ I had something extremely specific in mind, and my father who is very artistic actually hand-drew it for me, incorporating the hair into the letter.

I love doing manicures and makeup as I get to sit down.

I also love to create that relaxing spa experience. It’s a great place for makeup as the client sits in the natural light coming in from the window.

Our wall of wigs is pure eye candy. We carry all lengths, colour and styles.

Website: salongelli.co.uk Instagram @Salon.Gelli

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A BASIC GUIDE TO MAKEUP HANNA BRAUN

Hanna Braun took her first makeup course at the age of sixteen and has never looked back. Now a qualified makeup artist for over 13 years, she works with a massive range of women, including celebrities and photographers, although ultimately the wedding industry is what keeps her busiest! Alongside this, she runs the ‘Pro Academy by Hanna Braun’ makeup school where she combines her passion for makeup with her love for teaching, certifying students who aim to become makeup artists. Whilst based in New York, she travels everywhere for her work, and has also given classes in Canada and Los Angeles. Lastly, she also offers personal one-to-one classes teaching clients how to do their makeup well, and providing them with a detailed, user-friendly list of products for the everyday woman.

Skin

The first step to makeup is understanding a person’s skin; whether it is dry, oily, mature, or a combination.

Based on that, I will usually recommend a suitable regimen.

For oily skin, water based and oil free products are important, such as the Neutrogena Hydro Boost, or Ole Henriksen Oil Control Cleanser.

For dry or mature skin I recommend finding super hydrating moisturizers like Olay or even La Mer if you are looking for a more high-end product.

Once you hit 30, you should see your dermatologist and introduce retinol and collagen into your regimen to keep your skin supple and strong as it ages.

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Concealer

Concealer is used not only to correct blemishes, but also to lift and brighten, by highlighting and concealing. The trick is to lift under the eyes in a triangle, and along the sides of the mouth and the t-zone area, in order to open up the face.

Always use concealer in one shade lighter than your foundation. Some of my favourites are Maybelline Instant Age Rewind concealer, or Tarte Shape Tape Ultra Creamy concealer.

Contour and highlight

Powder

When it comes to powders, Laura Mercier is definitely my favourite brand, whilst the Terry Hyaluronic Hydra-Power is also a great antiaging one.

Blush

Lately, I have adored working with cream blushes from Honest Beauty, or Fenty Beauty as cream blushes tend to give more life from within than the powder blushes.

This is one of my favourite parts of the process. I love using contour, blush, and highlighter as eye shadow and concealer for under the eye, and also as a primer for the eye shadow. As I’m doing the contour, I’ll also put in an eye crease to contour the brow bone, and add blush to give the eyes a youthful pop in a monochromatic look to tie everything together.

Contour helps to define and frame the bone structure of the face, whilst highlight lifts, opens, expands, and brings attention to it. The way to contour is to feel your bone structure and use that as your guide and stencil. You then follow your bone structure with your brush to frame the cheeks, forehead, sides of nose, and chin. Look out for contour sticks or bronzers from Charlotte Tilbury or NYX. The next step is to highlight above the cheekbone, the inner corner of the eyes, and the arch of the eye brows to lift and open the eyes and face.

L’Oréal and Charlotte Tilbury both make great liquid highlighters which give you the appearance of glowing from within.

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A WIG

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By Zahava Mimran

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t’s a regular evening, yet on a small, non-descript street in Hendon, there’s a bustling queue of Jewish women, extending all the way down the road and around the corner. Is it a cut-price clothing sale? A new restaurant opening? A free giveaway? No, they tell you happily, we’re queueing to buy a wig. Aha! A wig.

But why the sudden popularity? What’s so great about this wig? Oh, we’re waiting to buy an affordable wig.

The mitzva of covering our hair is one of the most basic mitzvot that a Jewish woman begins to do when she gets married, and it’s one that we perform with joy.

However, in today’s world, with women often holding down more commitments and spending more time outside the house than ever, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and the image that we portray. Yet for those of us who can’t - or won’t - spend the required thousands of pounds necessary to buy a beautiful wig locally, it can be a difficult task. Enter China.

When Ali Express opened, it forged a valuable connection between the Chinese market and consumers around the world. People have since been able to purchase almost anything directly from Chinese producers at minimal prices, with just a few quick clicks. Including wigs – thanks to Rachelli Lerner. A long-time teacher and assistant head at a local primary school, Rachelli was used to buying wigs from her usual salon, which she would have custom made due to her difficult hair colour. However, in 2016, after purchasing an expensive custom wig which she was unhappy with, she decided to take the plunge and buy one online from China. Knowing nothing about hair, wigs, or the process, she set about searching for a wig company with just a few arbitrary rules that she had made for herself, such as that she wouldn’t spend over £300, or that if her contact asked her for payment more than three times, she wouldn’t use their company. With working hours in China starting at around 1 am and ending at 10 am UK time, she spent hours every night on Ali Express, and Google, reading, researching, and contacting over twenty people. Eventually, she came across a woman who fit all of her rules, and, biting the bullet, she ordered her wig.

Her wig arrived on the very day that she was scheduled to fly to Israel. It looked beautiful, and Rachelli straightened it, put it onto her head, and flew no highlights, no baby hairs; just straight out of the box.

After receiving countless compliments for it, and loving the way it looked on her, she then ordered one for both her mother and sister when she returned to the UK,

and there it ended. Or so she thought. Soon after she had ordered the wigs, a woman approached Rachelli, asking to try on her wig as it was a similar colour to her own. Although a somewhat strange request, she acquiesced, explaining that it had been bought for just a few hundred pounds from China. The woman tried it on, and when it looked like she really loved it, Rachelli offered to sell it to her and just purchase another. At that point the woman burst out crying. ‘You see,’ she said, ‘I’ve been trying to save for a wig for 12 years, yet each time my envelope begins to fill up, I somehow always need to take money out for something else. In 12 years, I haven’t been able to save for one wig!’ Then and there, Rachelli sold her the wig and ordered another for herself.

It was at that point that Rachelli felt that she had a moral obligation to use her knowledge to help other women do the same. Initially, she started out by helping doctors who wanted sports wigs to wear during surgery.

She would keep one wig at her home which women could come and see, and when someone bought it, she would order another to replace it. However, very quickly people began to hear about her. The Facebook group she set up expanded massively, and she became a household name, with more and more women looking to buy a ‘Rachelli wig’. ‘I absolutely never dreamt that it would become anything like it is nowadays’, she tells me. ‘I just didn’t foresee this flood of women interested in buying the wigs from me, often without even trying it on in their colour or size.’

As the popularity of the wigs grew, Rachelli realised that her model of stocking one wig at a time was no longer enough for the number of women who were interested in seeing them. She sat down together with her husband and they worked on a plan to make the process easier and more efficient. After filling in an immense amount of paperwork, they set themselves up as a government social enterprise, which allows them to work quite similarly to a non-profit organisation. They bought a range of fifteen different wigs which women can come and try on at their weekly open night, and whom can then either buy the wig on the spot, or order one for themselves. If they take it, Rachelli will order another one to fill its place, but if they choose to order one, Rachelli will help them by placing the order.

‘For the enterprise’, Rachelli says, ‘We had to prove that we were empowering religious women in the community to be in touch with their religion and society.

It sounds really official but by allowing women to buy

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cheaper wigs, that is essentially what we are doing. We also work with a lot of people who suffer with alopecia, both Jewish and non-Jewish. I actually just sent off a wig to Slovenia – to the daughter of a secretary of a local woman here who told her about it.’

As a social enterprise, all transactions that take place in her house go through the accounts and are taxed, which means that if a woman buys a wig on open night, she will pay slightly more than if she ordered it. ‘Some women really need to try on a wig, and see what they are getting’, explains Rachelli, ‘Others maybe won’t find the exact colour, length or style that they were looking for in my collection, so they’ll order one once they’ve tried some on and gotten a feel for the wigs. Interestingly, the younger women choose to order more than older ones, although that may be because they have so many friends who have done it and are happy with them, that they are more confident in the process.’

With over 2000 wigs ordered through Rachelli, and counting, she holds that buying a wig is very much a mazel. ‘A woman might come in for a band fall, and she’ll walk out with a lace top pony; totally not what she came for. It’s very much a shidduch, and you never quite know what you’ll end up with until you’ve picked it.’ Yet there really is something for everyone, and women from all over the world contact her, from all walks of lives.

‘I actually just sent a wig off to a Jewish woman who works for Chabad’, she tells me. ‘She was situated in an army base on an island off the coast of Japan. Ironically though, the shipping was an absolute nightmare – she had to send it through America!’

Despite all the benefits, buying a wig from China is definitely not risk free. Aside from the fact that Chinese companies are not regulated like companies in most first world countries, there are also plenty of scammers.

‘You get all types of things,’ Rachelli states, ‘There are companies who will blend human and synthetic hair so you do have to look out for that, and there was one very well-known company that was producing lovely wigs, but one wig in ten was actually a dud. There’s nothing much you can do, unless you pay via PayPal, however most companies will only take bank transfers. Yet on the other hand, when you buy a wig locally, you can spend thousands of pounds and not be happy with it. Here, you’re risking the odd £500 or so’. It’s really not much more than that, although prices have definitely gone up since her first £300 wig. Rachelli finds that every 1st of January, the prices go up a little, and of course, like with everything, Covid has also had an impact on prices. ‘When they reopened after lockdown, workers from Vietnam and South Korea were not allowed into the country, which meant they had to pay for Chinese labour which is more expensive’, Rachelli explains, ‘So they put the price up, and obviously that hasn’t gone back down. However, although it depends on the amount of hair, length, and on how much you customise, you’re still really not paying a lot. I actually just sold 3 bandfalls recently which were priced in the low £400’s’.

When it comes to choosing a manufacturer, Rachelli still deals with the original company from whom she ordered her first wig, although she has tried out others as well. ‘You see, China doesn’t quite have the same data protection rules as we do’, she notes wryly, ‘So I often

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get random messages from other companies who want to sell to me. At the moment, I use one company for Brazilian hair and one for European, and then there are a few other companies whose prices are a little steeper, so I’ll use those only when they go on sale.

At the beginning, I used to actually give out the companies’ contact information so that people could order wigs for themselves, however I found that women were quoting me and using my name to threaten the companies, which began to ruin my relationship with them. Ultimately, I decided that it was more important for me to be able to keep these suppliers and help the masses, then to risk losing them over difficult customers.

Therefore I no longer give out their details, and instead I make all the orders, leaving the customer to just pay the invoice. It’s definitely not the easier way – I tend to do all my messaging with China before I have to go to work - between 5.30 and 7 am when they are still open, but this way I can keep a good relationship with the manufacturers and continue to help women. There is a small administration cost for facilitating this, however if people can’t afford to pay, it is waived. For most people though, they see it as a plus; they like to know that they are buying through someone who has an established rapport with the companies, who knows the ins and outs of hair colour, cap sizes, and all the other intricacies’.

So what are you actually getting when you buy a wig from China? ‘Pretty much the same as a regular middleprice wig that you can buy locally’, Rachelli shrugs.

‘Although, obviously if you buy a top-range wig, where the sheitel-macher has flown to Ukraine and handpicked the hair, you will most likely be getting something that has a different feel to it – you can’t compare to that. The Chinese companies claim that they use only virgin, unprocessed hair, however they do dye it so it is definitely processed in that way. Ultimately though, we have no way of knowing, which is why I always make sure to include the word allegedly when discussing hair.

I actually once met up with one of my contacts – my husband and I were flying through Singapore en-route to Australia recently, and she was holidaying there.

We met up for a coffee and I heard a little about the manufacturing process, which is absolutely fascinating.

Most wig manufacturers are based in Qingdao in the Shandong province of China – it’s really in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, you have thirty to forty women involved in creating each wig – like a real Henry Ford production line, with each woman doing one skill’.

And obviously, labour is cheap in China, so the main expense for these companies is the hair that they use.

Rachelli points out that that’s also why they’ll often try to get away with putting in as little hair as possible; as Chinese hair isn’t suitable for our wigs, they have to pay to import it from other countries, which is a big expense for them. However, they do sell wigs in a variety of thicknesses, which they measure in percentages.

‘Although that is rather arbitrary’, she concedes, ‘As what is it a percentage of? And 130 percent with one company may be the same as 150 percent for another.

However, you can request thicker or thinner wigs, and I have found that the European hair company I use tend to produce thicker wigs, so if someone wants a really full one, I would recommend using them. We actually

often have women who need hair taken out, as they can sometimes be too full, especially when you have women with smaller heads.'

Once a woman has chosen the hair type and length, it’s down to the colour and extras. If you choose a basic colour without highlights, it’s pretty simple - although their colour scale is a little darker than ours. However, it’s then up to each person to decide if they want to go for adding highlights there, or if they prefer to do that in their home salon. ‘You do it there, it costs you thirty dollars, compared to the hundred or so you would spend in your local salon. On the other hand, if you are very specific about the tones you want added and their placement, I would advise doing it locally.

I’ve found that the companies there don’t really understand hair colour like we do. When literally everyone has dark brown or black hair, it’s hard to really understand different shades of blonde, ginger, or even brown, and how not everyone’s complexion will suit the different colours’. For those who do choose to do the highlighting at home, Rachelli will often recommend sending it to Chana Levy, who works locally in London. ‘I’ve come to know her over the years of working with her,’ she tells me, ‘And she’s extremely easy to work with. Also, there’s always an element of uncertainty about how a wig will pick up dye, which can sometimes cause disappointing results.

I know that Chana’s dyeing works with the hair and you can rely on the process. Sometimes, women who live very ‘out of town’ order a wig, and they don’t have a salon that they can take it to for dyeing, so I’ll have them to order it to me, I’ll send it onto Chana, and we’ll send it off to them once it’s ready.’

Other extras, such as adding baby hairs and bleaching the knots in lace tops are definitely better off being done locally as well. ‘Chinese people don’t understand baby hairs, and they’ll often put in this very short, fine fringe, which means you’ll then have to pay money to have it taken out and redone,’ Rachelli says.

‘And they also don’t really understand the importance of bleaching the knots in lace tops – if you ask them to do it, you may just find that the lace turns orange. You have to remember, they’ve never seen Jewish people, I’m not sure they understand that we really wear these wigs all the time, and how essential they are in our every-day life.’

Overall, the low prices of wigs from China mean that the process of buying a wig becomes less daunting.

There is less money involved, so if something goes wrong it’s not such a colossal disaster. It also frees up money so that women can have a few wigs at once for the price of one – so for women who like to change their hairstyles a lot, these wigs are perfect. It’s not just the women themselves who benefit from the lower prices though. Rachelli’s husband has had men stop him on the street, thanking him for enabling them to buy their wife a wig, something that they otherwise wouldn’t have been able to afford.

For all the benefits, Rachelli is careful to warn that it is not always a reliable process. For a start, you never know what you’re going to get until it comes, and then there is no comeback whatsoever.

However, if you order through her, it is definitely less risky, as the companies have a good relationship with her so usually try to rectify when things go wrong. ‘When we first tried out lace tops,’ she recalls, ‘We made an order and they were really lovely. Then, when we reordered, the second batch came and they were terrible. I told them that either they take back the wigs or I can’t work with them anymore, so they took them back. They are usually very supportive and friendly, they know that this is an enterprise and not a business, and they send me little presents every so often - they even sent me something when I had my last baby!

It is important to remember though, that the companies don’t always understand things like timing; they don’t really get that if a kallah orders a wig, she absolutely needs it in time for her wedding. To be honest, they must think we are a little crazy,’ she says, ‘I really would love to go there and visit someday so they understand who we are, so that they see me wearing a wig in real life.

There have been occasions when things do go wrong, yet I make it clear from the outset that this is not a business, and that I can’t accept responsibility for anything, although obviously, I do try to help where I can. The most reliable thing is to always use PayPal, however one of the companies I deal with were themselves once scammed by a woman who bought a wig from them, via me. She complained about the wig to PayPal, got her money back from them, but then didn’t send back the wig like she was supposed to. That company now no longer accept PayPal, to protect themselves against such incidents, yet it’s a massive pity for everyone else who have now lost that valuable protection! People don’t always realise that that their relatively small actions of dishonesty, can affect hundreds of other women wanting wigs. If this woman had shipped her wig back, Paypal could still be used, giving assurance to many more.’

Apart from the buying process, Rachelli admits that it might be hard for some women to order a wig from her.

Some women are a little more nervous, or they find it hard to visualise the finished wig; they really need to sit in a salon and have a hair stylist talk them through it – something that Rachelli is not! Many need the come-back and all the extras that are included. ‘On the other hand,’ she points out, ‘If you do order a wig and aren’t happy with it you can simply sell it on. There’s almost always someone who is happy to buy a wig that they can try on first.’

With over 2000 wigs ordered through Rachelli, there are a multitude of grateful women around the world. ‘People stop my parents in the street, they stop my husband, they even stop my in laws. I get comments all the time, wherever I go, either expressing gratitude or telling me that they have been receiving compliments about their wigs. And it’s funny because I really don’t think that what I’m doing is such a big deal. Of course I could add more per wig, but they wouldn’t be as cheap. This way I don’t owe anyone a service, and I don’t have the responsibility that comes with owning a business.’

It’s very much a social enterprise, and it’s a family one as well.

Her children know that one night a week the house has to be spic and span by 7 pm, and that it’s going to be a busy evening.

Yet Rachelli finds it all worth it, and she tells me, ‘I know that if I am supposed to make more money, Hashem will send the money elsewhere.’

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BIO SCULPTURE FOR HEALTHY NAILS with Nails by Michal

A

s a long-standing nail technician with years of experience in nails, Michal was shocked when a friend mentioned to her that she wouldn’t use her services any more. ‘It’s nothing personal, but I only do Bio Sculpture now,’ her friend told her. Slightly embarrassed that she hadn’t heard of it before, Michal asked her friend about it. ‘It’s amazing,’ her friend gushed, ‘It strengthens the nail and lasts for ages!’ After hearing her friend rave about this special technique, Michal decided to look into it for herself.

The Bio Sculpture company was founded by Elmien Scholtz of Clocolan, South Africa in 1988. Elmien was looking to create a nail product that would give women beautiful, strong, healthy nails which would be easy to maintain and which they could admire and be proud of. Her answer was Bio Sculpture Gel. With typical gel products, chemicals are used to bond the gel tightly to the nails. Unfortunately, these gels are very unhealthy for the nails and cause a lot of damage. ‘Women come to me,’ Michal tells me, ‘With nails so thin, weak, and brittle from constant application of gel that when I try to file their nails they just break or bend. Instead, I have to use a special soft sponge.’ With gel polish extremely damaging to the nails, women continue to use it as they know no alternative.

However, although not as widely known as regular gel, Bio Sculpture products can be found in every country. With a five-star health rating, they are oxygenating products which are healthy, nourishing and promote strong nails.

After much research, Michal decided to invest in Bio Sculpture’s products. She underwent training with an expert in the technique and bought the products, then tried it out on a client. ‘It wasn’t an instant process,’ Michal admits. ‘I still had a lot to learn, and experience to gain. Her client had to return a few times to rectify certain problems, but she herself saw the improvement in her nails so she stuck it out. Over the last four years, I have built myself up, with women who keep returning as they see tremendous improvement in their nails. Over lockdown I was stuck in Israel, and my clients kept asking me, ‘When are you coming back? Our nails are terrible!’

The beauty about Bio Sculpture nails is that whilst gel ruins your nails, the Bio Gel products strengthen your nails so much that they look perfect even without gel on. ‘Women come to me with short, broken nails.’ says Michal, ‘They see instant improvement and end up with long, healthy ones.’ A durable, chip resistant, and self-levelling product, the gel also lasts a long time.

‘I give a two week guarantee for the nails,’ Michal tells me, ‘But they usually last three, and often four, weeks. Being locally based in the Golders Green/Hendon area, people can drop in easily for appointments, but I also do home visits for those who prefer the convenience. I work very hard on customer satisfaction; it is important for me that a customer leaves happy. And of course, I absolutely love my job - I could do it all day!’

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VALOUR PROMOTION

The Bio Sculpture Process: The Bio Sculpture technique is a detailed and intricate process. Before she begins, Michal will fill in a client consultation card, where she details the exact products that she uses on them. Tailoring and recording the process for each client, she can adapt the routine in future sessions, and work to find the best combinations to suit their individual needs.

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The first step is to apply a nourishing base to the nail. There are a range of bases suited for nails in every state, however Michal’s usual go-to base is the vitamin dose. This base rejuvenates and nourishes the nail by infusing it with a combination of vitamins.

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Following this, Michal then applies a gel base.

‘There’s a choice of six different ones,’ explains Michal, ‘ranging from flexi to hard. If a woman comes in with very soft nails, I’ll apply the flexi base, as the hard base wouldn’t sit well and would inhibit the natural movement of the nail. For hard nails, I’ll use the hard base, and sometimes I’ll even use a combination.’

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Once the base has been applied, it’s time for the real work to begin. Michal uses the clear gel to sculpt

the nail into a beautiful shape. ‘You can do anything with the gel,’ she says. ‘Build an arc, give height, you can even lengthen nails as long as desired.’ An intricate process, it takes Michal’s full concentration, as she shapes and lengthens using her moulds. With the extension created entirely with gel, the nails are thin and incredibly nail like, yet at the same time immensely strong.

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Once the nail has been sculpted to the client’s liking, it’s time for the colour, which is applied in two coats. ‘This is my favourite part,’ admits Michal. ‘I am absolutely obsessed with the colours. When a customer chooses a new colour, or when I get a new colour, it gives me such a high! I don’t know who ends up happier – me or my client.’ Currently, Michal owns a whopping 92 colours, and she is constantly looking for more. ‘I have a lot of light colours,’ Michal says, ‘For those who want natural looking nails. My favourite is ‘Funny Bunny’. It’s a milky white colour and extremely elegant.’

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After the colour, Michal will often apply a base again for better protection, especially if the nails are long.

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Lastly, she applies one of two coats depending on the customer’s choice. They can either opt for a soft touch velvet finish, which is achieved using the Suede Matte Top Coat, or they can go for the Gloss Top Coat for a long-lasting shine.

Nails by Michal Contact her on 07508 121812 Instagram@biosculpturebymichal

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AN EXCURSION THROUGH MILAN

By Shony Mordehay Featuring and photography: Rinati Dor Dvorsky

When we think of Italy, the first places that come to mind are undoubtedly Rome, Tuscany, or Venice.

However, one of Italy's (and Europe’s) most fascinating cities is Milan - the capital of Lombardy and the second-largest city proper in Italy after Rome, boasting a population of around 1.4 million people.

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TRAVEL

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TRAVEL

M

ilan is a worldwide center for art, trade, design, education, entertainment, fashion, finance, healthcare, media and of course tourism. The headquarters of national and international banks and businesses are housed in Milan and it is also the host city for Italy's stock exchange (the Borsa Italiana) and the country's central bank. Boasting the third-largest economy in the European Union after Paris and Madrid, Milan is also regarded as one of the world's four fashion capitals. Milan Fashion Week, Milan Furniture Fair, and several other events and fairs are held in the city.

Prada, Versace, and Giorgio Armani are just a few of the numerous famous fashion houses that call Milan home.

As a bustling metropolis with a long history and intriguing past, Milan attracts millions of tourists each year. People flock from all corners of the globe to visit its numerous sites which display the city’s cultural history and illustrious heritage.

Today, Rinati Dor Dvorski from Chabad will be our tour guide in Milan. Rinati, 53, is a photographer and tour operator throughout Milan and northern Italy. A travel expert on Milan, she also runs the website Milano-Mia.com, which has all of the information required about her various excursions. Together with her team, Rinati provides a comprehensive list of services in Milan, amongst them several boutique excursions. If you need any transportation from Milan airport to the city or vice versa, as well as tours outside of Milan, you can use the services of her husband, Amos (also a proud Chabad Chassid) and his team. We've asked Rinati to take us around Milan's most notable sites, so put on your comfy shoes, or simply make a nice cup of coffee and join us for a tour of Milan’s streets!

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GALLERIA VITTORIO EMANUELE II The Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, which opened in 1891 and is one of the world's oldest enclosed shopping malls, is a magnificent example of Italian architecture. The mall's architecture, with its magnificent blue glass dome ceilings and mosaic flooring, is as breathtaking as the high-end fashion sold in its stores, which include Louis Vuitton, Borsalino and Prada, as well as several other famous luxury labels.

Aside from well-known premium brands, the Galleria also has some excellent eating options and coffee shops which are constantly crowded throughout the day. Due to its popularity, the Galleria has even earned the title ‘il salotto di Milano’, meaning ‘Milan's drawing room’, for its use as a gathering place. According to legend, stepping on one's heel over the mosaic bull under the dome brings good fortune, although as Jews we are considered above these things!

Rinati has some advice for when you go to the Galleria. Aside from being a meeting spot for Milanese natives and tourists from all over the world, it's also a popular pickpocket hangout, so be cautious whilst shopping and don't let your money get stolen.

NAVIGLI DISTRICT

QUADRILATERO D'ORO

Milan's Navigli, or canals, which date back to the 12th century, were built to facilitate the irrigation system. The infrastructure was then expanded in the 1300s to allow the movement of goods, which lasted until the 19th century. Rinati recommends that you take an hour cruise along the remaining Navigli Lombardi, which is regarded as one the most beautiful areas and best places to visit in Milan.

Departure points for boat excursions are situated at the site where the historic port of Darsena and the main canal of Naviglio Grande meet. If you want to spend some time watching and enjoying performing art, this is the place to go.

How can you overlook the opportunity to do some shopping in Milan, the world's fashion capital?

The Quadrilatero d'Oro is not only Milan's most exclusive shopping area, but it's also recognized as one of the world's leading fashion hotspots. The ‘Golden Quadrilateral’, as it is known, consists of a number of city blocks that are all Neoclassical in design. Via Sant'Andrea, on the other hand, has some of the world's most famous fashion brands and is one of Milan's top tourist attractions at night. If you have ever dreamed of buying a piece of luxury Italian fashion or Italian leather products, you will find plenty of shopping options here and there are many choices available - just make sure you don't spend too much!

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TRAVEL

SFOR ZESCO CASTLE LA SCALA La Scala, one of the most well-known tourist attractions in Milan, was built in the Neoclassical style by architect Giuseppe Piermarini. Since its first performance of ‘L'Europa Riconosciuta’ by Antonio Salieri in 1778, it has earned a reputation as a top opera house. This red-and-gold theater is famous for its superb acoustics that reveal the true abilities of a singer, and attending a live show is highly recommended, even if you don't consider yourself an opera fan.

The Sforzesco Castle, built during the 14th century as a fortress, is one of Milan's many attractions, and has become an amazing display of power and prestige over the years. It now houses the Museo d'Arte Antica which contains the Pietà Rondanini Michelangelo's last major work. You can also find an outstanding display of Egyptian art in the ducal apartments of the castle's former rulers.

SAN SIRO STADIUM If you thought Italians were hot-blooded and passionate, wait till you attend a football match at the San Siro Stadium. If you're able to get tickets for the Derby della Madonnina (also known as the Milan derby) between A.C. Milan and Inter, both of which consider San Siro to be their home ground, it'll make your trip all the more complete. The popularity of these two teams is represented by an enormous football monument, which is one of the continent's largest stadiums, and Italy’s largest. It was expanded considerably over the first half of the 20th century to accommodate even more fans, ultimately reaching a capacity of around 80,000 people. Now, consider the enthusiasm of 80,000 spectators when a winning goal is scored - that's passion in its purest form. Just make sure that you're backing the correct team!

And one more of Rinati's suggestions: Many of Leonardo da Vinci's works never came to fruition. Amongst them was a horse sculpture commissioned by Ludovico il Moro, the Duke of Milan, in 1482. However, thanks to the enthusiastic support of an American art collector and a seasoned animal sculptor, this equine statue – which was intended to be the world's largest – was completed in 1999 and now stands a few hundred meters from the stadium. Even if you're not a football enthusiast, you should consider a trip to the San Siro just to see this wonderful sculpture.

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JEWISH MILAN Of course, we cannot finish our article without mentioning the Jewish Community in Milan. With the earliest traces of Jewish settlement dating back to just the 18th century, the community is a rather young one. Historically, Jews began to reside in Milan from the year 1820 onwards, and were generally employed in banking, trading, textiles, and precious gems. By 1848, the Jews of Milan numbered 3,012, and in that year the synagogue ‘Comunita' Ebraica Di Milano’ the great synagogue of Milan, was established on Via Della Guastalla 19, where it still stands today.

Before the ‘Dichiarazione sulla razza’ - the ‘race statement’ of the fascist party in 1938, there were around 12,000 Jews living in Milan. A large number of these fled, but 866 members of Milan's Jewish community sadly lost their lives during the Holocaust and were murdered by the Nazis. After the war, there were only 5,000 Jews left in Milan, yet by 1975, this number had more than doubled, with many of the newcomers being merchants and traders. Recently, this number has declined again, leaving around 5,500 Jews residing in the city.

In addition to the great synagogue, there are over 16 minyanim in Milan, as well as ten synagogues throughout the city. These include synagogues for Italian Jews, Iranian Jewish immigrants, several Nusach Sefard synagogues, and a Chabad home.

Milan also boasts three Jewish schools; a main Jewish community school, as well as a Chabad and a private Sephardic community school.

The area surrounding the Jewish school and community offices is also home to a number of Kosher shops, bakeries, and eateries. The main Jewish community in Milan is near the Bande Nere metro station, however if you are looking for a good steak or burger for lunch, get on the M1 subway line (red line) at Wagner Station. You can then stroll down the lovely Giorgio Washington Street to Denzel Kosher restaurant, which is less than a mile away. Rinati tells us that if you inform the waiter that Rinati sent you, you will receive a free ice cream with your order - give it a go!

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STARBUCKS MILAN

ONE LAST THING...

Starbucks? In Milan? You can find a typical branch of Starbucks anywhere in the world; however, this isn't your typical cup-of-jo coffee. Stopping here for a drink is an experience you'll never forget, with live music playing in the background while espresso flows through veins and into brain cells. When Starbucks opened its first branch in Italy in 2018, they chose Milan as their first location, and it is considered the most beautiful Starbucks in the world. You will enjoy visiting this place even if you’re not a big fan of coffee.

Before we say goodbye to the lovely city of Milan and Rinati Dor Dvorski, Rinati would like to inform you that she has a variety of excursions throughout Milan on her website. When we asked Rinati which is her favourite tour, she immediately informed us that it is the Cappuccino tour, also her most popular tour.

Here, you can explore the streets of one of Milan's most magnificent districts with Rinati. You will learn about the history of Milanese Jews while on a cultural and colorful tour, accompanied by a little culinary component. Rinati will show you some of the most distinctive Italian shops, each with a unique backstory.

You'll go to secret cafés, admire stunning structures, and learn how Italians add the "Italian touch" to everything they make. With Rinati having lived in Milan for over 13 years, she is well-versed in the city's best kept secrets and will regale you with tales, tips, and views of this lovely town on your private tour. A little bird told us that you may even hear parts of her incredible life story when you join her excursions.

If you wish to try a different excursion or have a customized tour created especially for you, do not hesitate to contact her. Rinati can be found on her Facebook page: Rinati Dor Dvorski, by contacting her on WhatsApp: +39-320-954-8486, or by email: rinatidor@gmail.com. It's a guaranteed fun experience!

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VALOUR design

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Space Planning & Storage

DESIGN

By Esther Taylor

Esther Taylor is the founder of Esther Taylor Design – a London based company which has successfully designed a vast array of places worldwide. For more daily interior design tips follow her on Instagram @esthertaylordesign.

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The moment you walk into the sanctuary of your home, you want to shake off the day and be welcomed by a serene and calming environment. Tripping over a plastic toy and seeing a mountain of coats piled on the banister is not the ideal and it’s certainly not going to set you up for a relaxing evening. When designing and planning the layout of a home, storage space, and ensuring that every item has its own specific place is number one on the list of importance. When planning a space for a client, we always look at the individual family’s needs and how these can be catered for. For example, for a client who loves to cook, we can ensure that there is plenty of space to keep all of their herbs and spices together, or a fabulous decorative crate to home their herbs on the windowsil

Living Space Nobody wants their bannisters and stairs to be cluttered with coats and shoes. Of course, the ideal would be to have a cloak room but when space doesn’t allow this, having some decorative hooks on the wall with a lovely shoe box underneath can be a good substitute. Alternatively, putting some hooks on the inside of the door of an under stairs cupboard is also a great way to Hide messy coats and keep them out of sight.

Apart from being unsafe, having keys lying around on a console table is the quickest way of losing them, so having a decorative or antique box with hidden storage will keep them safe and secure whilst you are at home.

A decorative box or crate is perfect for storing that big blanket that you snuggle up on the couch under or your current favourite book or magazine. Stacked either next to the couch, in a corner, or under a coffee table, it can make a feature out of your storage space as well as being very practical.

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Bedrooms and Wardrobes Depending on the size of your bedroom, there can often be a lot to fit into a small space. Items such as make-up, clothes and shoes often clutter up rooms, but it is important to maintain a serene sleeping area where you can unwind at the end of the day and have a restful sleep. There are a few things that you can do to maximise the space available.

Having a dressing table with as many drawers as possible will help to eliminate too much clutter sitting on top of the table. There are also some beautiful decorative glass or Perspex organisers and trinket dishes to keep it looking like a Hollywood dressing area.

If, like me, you love your shoes, I’d recommend an ottoman with under bed storage. Being able to store your winter shoes away in the summer and vice versa means that you will get a new ‘shoe wardrobe’ every season. A matching bench at the end of your bed is also an ideal place to store bed linen and throws when not in use, and easily accessible for when needed.

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Playrooms Storage storage storage! The key to keeping it organised and tidy for as much of the time as possible (before little fingers empty everything into the middle of the room!) is storage and areas.

Bespoke joinery will always be an attractive option as it will allow you to make the most of every corner available to ensure that all toys will have a home.

However, this can be a costly route and there are plenty of other less expensive options which will create an organised and yet fun space for your little ones.

Having a reading area with books displayed on the wall, and a bench or some oversized cushions or beanbags underneath will look nice and neat, and also create a cosy reading corner where the children can read and relax.

Ikea have some great storage solutions which are designed for any space and are a great way of keeping little toys out of sight.

For those who love arts and crafts, we know how hard it can be to keep track of pens and paints, prevent play dough from being stomped into carpet, and cuttings from being scattered across the house. Having caddies to home these items keeps them together and, where necessary, on a higher shelf away from little fingers.

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DESIGN Kitchen The kitchen is the heart of the home and more and more, it is becoming the hub in which we eat, drink, socialise and relax. Therefore, it is ever more important that it is also practical and useful, and it is kept in good order. When planning your kitchen, ensure that you factor in as much storage as possible. Given that it is no longer a place solely for cooking, remember to leave space for crockery, serving dishes, napkins, tablecloths, candles, and decorative items. Always ensure that your cooking area which comprises the sink, oven and fridge are not too far away from each other, so that when you are cooking your walking distances are close.

In a kitchen, drawers are always easier than cupboards for storage, as when you open the drawer you can see everything in one go instead of having to rummage through a cupboard. Corner cupboards with pull-out lemans ensures that you can use the corner space in a kitchen efficiently, and are very useful for storing larger items in it.

Drawer organisers are a must-have in any room in the house, ensuring that your drawers never become overflowed with a mess of things. For those who are not wine connoisseurs, it is all too easy for wines to be slotted and stored here and there, which can often lead to spaces becoming messy and disorganised. Having a wine-rack mounted on the wall can offer both a practical solution as well as creating a nice feature.

Those awkward spaces that you may be inclined to write off and leave... don’t! They could end up being your best friend, and house more than you think. A narrow space could be perfect for slotting in baking trays or chopping boards, and putting a simple pull out inside will make a good home for t-towels. These little spaces can also be a good place for cling film and foil where they can slot in easily.

Utility Space Despite the utility room being the room that the least amount of people will see, it is also one of the most hard-working spaces in the home with the potential of becoming a dumping ground. You can use beautiful canisters to store detergents and sponges, and shelving provides a great and practical option for making these items easy to reach. One tall broom cupboard is essential in every utility room to house not only the broom, but the mop and hoover, and to keep them all together. Putting mini shelving inside the cupboard will also allow you to keep all of your cleaning bottles and products together in one place and neatly stowed away.

Under Stair Storage I find the area under the stairs can easily be wasted and become a dumping ground – I like to make the most of under stair storage and very often I will disguise the storage elements with a continuous flow of cupboards and pull outs so it can be used to its full potential In today’s busy lives and hectic schedules, whilst juggling children, work, after school activities, and social arrangements, it is all too easy for things to fall into disarray. With some advance planning in your home and making the most of what seems like awkward nooks and crannies, those messy areas can soon become a decorative and practical storage solution.

As I tell my clients when planning their homes, ‘At the end of the day a house is not a museum but a home’, and as long as there is designated storage for day to day items, once the children go to bed the spaces can be easily organised and tidied so that they can fully enjoy the beauty of their homes.

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How to get organised ... and keep it that way!

By Aidel Pinesr

Rather, it involves pointers, like giving items a home that makes sense, using effective organising products and going through your items every so often to make sure you really need everything that you have. (Yes, the dreaded declutter word – sorry!)

The process of organising is the process of managing your storage. The steps outlined below can be used on any space in the house; it stays the same whether you’re organising a drawer or a whole room. If you’re moving soon, you’ll be one step ahead by doing the first few steps before or as you pack, so that you don’t even have to wait for your new house to become disorganized before tackling it!

Step 1: Declutter

A lot of people find the thought of getting unpacked and organised after a move stressful and overwhelming. At Spaceover, we start the process of getting you organised before you even start packing so that moving is a dream and you'll be organised and settled into your new home quickly. Organising services are available for homes & offices throughout London. You can find us online at www.spaceover. co.uk, email us on info@spaceover.co.uk, contact us on 07786 281 138, or check out our Instagram @spaceoveruk.

This is the very first step to take any time you run into an organising problem. Whether you’re trying to make more space in the kids’ wardrobe or playroom, or just getting the junk drawer sorted once and for all, sorting through each item and making a decision on whether it stays or goes has to be the very first thing you do. I’m not saying you need to be a minimalist, just a realist. No one needs 3 sets of meaty measuring spoons, no matter who bought it for you or how new the set is. You have permission to get rid of things that are still in good condition if you don’t use them. If you’re packing, this is the perfect time to be making these decisions since you’re literally touching all your items anyway. Don’t pack things that you don’t need - you don’t need that extra baggage in your new house.

Designing useful and effective storage when planning your home is an important first step, and will go a long way to ensuring that your beautiful new space will be as tidy and as organised as you dreamt it would be. Once you move in, The key to getting and staying organised is not just having enough storage space, but also managing that storage properly.

Contrary to popular belief, this does NOT involve running out to buy a bunch of containers!

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Step 2: Categorise It’s one thing to know that you need batteries and candles and wooden spoons. But you’d never keep them together! Categorising your items – all your items – into sections, is how you start to find homes that makes sense. It’s also what you need to do before you run out to buy boxes!

How you categorise your items will differ depending on what you have and how you and your family use them. Some examples include: Grouping outdoor toys together (skipping ropes, balls etc), separating Shabbos silverware from silverware used only on Yom Tov, or having a category called ‘memories’ for special cards and pictures. Think about when and how you use your things to help you decide how best to categorise them. At the same time, think about where you use them. This will help you decide where to store them. This is what I mean by a home that makes sense.

If you’re doing this while packing (a huge time saver), you can use Ziploc bags or separate packing boxes to pack each category. If your cupboards are already installed in the new place, you might even be able to do the next step already, and go out and buy the containers you’ll be using. Pack them straight into there so that unpacking will be quick and easy.

Step 3: Measure Now that you’ve decluttered and categorised, you can start thinking about boxes and containers.

Wait! Don’t go running out just yet! If you want to avoid the hassle of returns, frustration at still not having the right products, and the possibility of your categories getting mixed up because it’s taking too long to get containers, then do this first.

Measure your cupboard or drawer.

Measure again.

Then check the measurements of the boxes you want to get.

And check it again.

Go back to the cupboard. How many boxes can you fit on the shelf? Will there be dead space at the end?

Are the boxes big enough for the categories you’ve made? Small enough?

This is the part a lot of people don’t like. But numbers don’t lie and space is finite. If you want this to work properly, take the time to check all the details before you start ordering. Put the work in now and then once those containers arrive, it’ll be a piece of cake to throw your categories in - and bingo! A beautifully organised cupboard.

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Step 4: Label I’ll be honest, I didn’t used to label my things. And although I had to keep reorganising them, I didn’t realise why. Then I started labelling, and everything changed. There was no more thinking! I didn’t have to take even a second to recall where to unpack baking items after shopping. Moreover, categories didn’t get mixed up anymore because everyone could see what’s what.

If you find yourself reorganising often, labelling is often what’s missing. I’ve seen beautifully organised cupboards stacked with neat containers, and clients telling me that it’s not working. Do you know why? Because there were no labels on the containers, so they had to think and look inside each one to find what they needed. A simple label would solve the problem.

Label everything. Even in a drawer with dividers that seem self-explanatory, give labelling a go. There will be that much less thinking involved when looking for something or putting things away.

In short, DO NOT MISS THIS STEP!

So there you have it. Four steps to organising any space. Take it slow and do one small space at a time so that you don’t get overwhelmed, and before you know it, you really will be living in the house of your dreams!

Here are three of my favourite organising products that will give you a head start on organising your house:

Long Baskets If you have a deep pantry or cupboard, this is your friend! It maximises the space towards the back of the shelf and then will function like a drawer – just pull the basket forward and you’ll pull forward everything with it. You can find the above at https://amzn.to/3o3DPKe.

Turntables Every kitchen I’ve organised has at least one of these.

Aside from transforming your cooking prep by keeping all your oils and little spices bottles easily accessible, these are also really useful on higher shelves. Just a quick spin and you can access anything that’s up there without stretching a muscle! Buy yours at https://amzn. to/3ktN063

Really Useful Boxes These sturdy boxes come in a wide range of sizes, making them ideal storage for toys, crafts, stationary, tools or in the garage or loft. No, they’re not cheap but these will last! Available at shorturl.at/dsGJP.

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“ ” WHERE MODESTY AND ELEGANCE COME TOGETHER

TO CONTRIBUTE & BE PART OF THE FORCE, ADVERTISE, OR TO PARTNER WITH US, EMAIL: CONTACT@VALOURLIFESTYLE.CO.UK OR CALL: 07847362339

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Beautify your Chanuka

table with these three easy designs 145

DONUT RACK Everyone loves a donut wall, but they take time to create and I feel like I've seen it too much. Get some delicious mini donuts (we used perfectly baked by rikki) and stack them on a kitchen towel rack. Add a green leaf cut from your garden, and you’ve got yourself a rustic but practical donut display.

Kitchen roll, Amazon, £10 Donuts, Perfectly Baked by Rikki

MENORAH CENTREPIECE Collect 8 vases of different shapes and sizes to match your colour scheme, and place them upside down. Balance a candlestick safely on top of each one, and hey presto – it’s a menorah centrepiece with a twist.

Jars, Ikea, £9-£11

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DONUT GREENHOUSE Another cute donut display that worked fabulously with Bagel Bar’s hot cinnamon coated donuts is based on an Ikea greenhouse that costs just £11. Use some white or transparent wire to hang donuts off the greenhouse at different lengths.

Add hot chocolate or custard dipping sauces on the bottom, and you have a delicious dip-and-eat display.

Greenhouse, Ikea, £11 Donuts, Bagel Bars Grill House

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TUTORIAL

Setting Your Chanukah Table

By Shari Black

H

ave you heard of tablescaping? It’s the art of setting a beautiful table. Until recently, I myself hadn’t heard of this term, until I took over Danke, the Judaica design business, from my mum. Suddenly, I found myself on Instagram, connecting with lots of Judaica and gift shops here and in the US, and following Jewish influencers. It was obvious to me that my products – fun, modern Judaica – would look perfect on a scaped table.

And so I tried my best to learn that magical art of tablescaping.

It’s pretty fun, I admit – styling pretty dishes and vases, playing around with various themes, and picking the perfect accessories. I won’t lie and say that my Shabbat table looks picture perfect every week, but I do enjoy setting my table a little bit more these days, and my children get excited to help pick out what to use.

With Chanukah approaching, I can see the trends on social media as people start to think about their Chanukah décor for Chanukah parties and tables.

Obviously, you can go all out and buy Magen-David shaped ornaments, blue crystal vases, Chanukahthemed placemats and silver decorative dreidels, and your table will simply scream “Chanukah!” However, for those of you who want to set a pretty table, but don’t want to empty the Chanukah section of your local shop, I’ve put together some tips for creating a beautiful table using just items that you have at home.

My Chanukah table-scape is simple and clean. I went for matching marble-effect trays and boards from Danke Judaica, and added a few little bursts of blue from around my house. As a final touch, I added tealights and fairy lights for a soft, magical look.

Find your starting point This could be a colour scheme or a specific item. Do you have a favourite dish or vase? Have you received the most beautiful flowers ever this week? Or do you want to finally use your new purple tablecloth? Find your focal point and create around it. When I think up tablescapes for my Danke product photoshoots, I use the product as the focus and build the tablescape around it For my Chanukah tablescape, my starting point was a simple, elegant, marble-effect board. I knew that I was going to include some beautifully decorated Doctor Sourdough doughnuts on my Chanukah table, which would add plenty of colour, so I wanted to keep the rest of the table simple.

Once you have chosen your starting point, think about what sort of mood you want your table to create: chic and elegant?

Fun and bold? Pretty and whimsical? Once you’ve decided, go through your cupboards to see what you can find that will complement your table.

Be adventurous!

Definitely look through your serving dishes and glassware, but what else can you find that will add that little something extra to your table? Think candlesticks, ornaments, candy dishes, flowers, and leaves. Depending on the theme or occasion,

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VALOUR PROMOTION

you could add more quirky items such as masks, fabrics, statues or even vegetables! One Purim, I used peacock feathers and sequins that I found in my kids’ arts and crafts box. Don’t be intimidated. Have fun with it.

This board was my starting point for the Chanukah tablescape.

When styling a table to feature my Beads challah cover, I decided to pull out the pink colours and went round my house looking for anything in those tones.

Include something natural Include flowers or plants if you can. A little greenery adds so much to a table. It’s something you don’t really notice is missing until you add it.

Add a pop of colour If you’re setting a monochrome or neutral table, consider including a pop of colour somewhere, just to add interest.

This pop can come from vibrant flowers, brightly-coloured napkins, or a bold piece of Judaica.

On my Chanukah tablescape, which is blue and white, my pop of colour comes from the beautiful doughnut decoration – little pops of pink and green against the neutral backdrop.

The little details

The pink tulips on this tablescape add so much, and not just colour. They add another level of beauty.

Finally, add some little details that will truly elevate your table. Something small or cute that will make your guests say, “Wow!” This can be something personalised – for example, place cards that match your tablescape – or something cute and funny, like masks on Purim. It can even be a treat for your guests, like a small party favour at each place setting. On Pesach, I like to leave little packs of toys in each child’s seat.

On my Chanukah tablescape, I dotted the table with little dishes containing tiny blue sweets. These will be a big hit with the children, and they also add a pretty little burst of blue in an unconventional way Now that you’ve read about my process for creating a tablescape, I hope you’ll be inspired to try your own.

You don’t need extravagant accessories or fancy centrepieces – just a bit of Napkin rings are a great way to add detail to the table. Here, I threaded a couple of lavender stems through the napkin rings to make it extra special.

Often, I use my Flowers challah cover and tray, which are more than enough to add a pop of colour to my Shabbat table. forethought, a little time spent rummaging through your cupboards, and lots of imagination!

I’d love to see your Chanukah tablescapes. Be in touch via my website www.dankejudaica.com, or tag me on Instagram @ dankejudaica so that I can share them with my community.

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Sam Planning: Your Dream Home in Our Hands Sharon put down the rolling pin with a sigh. The family’s annual Chanuka party was only one day away, and she’d just started cooking. She’d decided to do the rolls first, before continuing with the desserts, but she realised now that it hadn’t been such a good idea. As she waited to put the rolls in the oven, she surveyed the kitchen. Baking trays adorned her cooker cover, both the sink drainers, and she’d had to place some trays in the dining room. With not an inch to spare, there wasn’t even space to get out the mixer and begin on the desserts. Sharon dreamed of the kitchens that some of her friends had - metres and metres of surface area, yet she knew that she couldn’t afford to move. ‘If only there was a way to add even just a few metres of space,’ she mentioned to her sister ruefully, ‘it would make life so much easier!’

Turns out, there was a way, and it was easier than she thought.

All it needed was Sam Planning. Born in Brazil, and originally working in property management, Joel Stern had opened his planning company after struggling with the lack of planning consultants available. ‘When I moved to London, there was no-one here who could draw up professional plans,’ he says.

‘I was getting diagrams done as a favour, and I wasted a lot of time and money due to inaccurate planning and misinformation. I decided to open up my own planning company, and here we are five years later, with a team of 26 and over 3000 completed projects.’

When Sharon’s sister gave her the number of Sam Planning, she urged her to call right away. ’It’s totally free to get advice,’ she told her. ‘You literally just give them your address and they tell you if they can do anything with your property.’

With the desserts finally finished and stored in the freezer, Sharon sat down and made the call. The company took her address, and told her that they’ll get back to her after doing some investigations. Just a few hours later, minutes after Sharon walked in from the school run, she received a phone call.

It was Mark from Sam Planning. ‘We’ve done a basic check on

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your property,’ he told her, ‘And from what we can see from the property history and Google Earth, you’re sitting on a lot of available space there. If you’re interested, we can send someone down to do a site survey and show you what we can achieve.’

When the surveyor came around the next day he took detailed measurements of the property, and discussed with Sharon what she was looking for. He identified a number of ways that her kitchen could be extended, substantially increasing her surface space and work area, and even showed her how they could make room for an island in the centre.

Sharon was awestruck. She hadn’t realised how adding just a little space to her property could result in such a big change.

With the surveyor already there, she decided to ask him to do a loft conversion survey as well. It was getting crowded when the married kids came back for chagim, and Sharon had been toying with the idea of putting in a loft with some guest rooms and another bathroom for a while already.

Just over a week later, the company sent her their expertly detailed drawings, which she showed to her husband. ‘It would make such a difference to my life if we had this done,’ she explained. ‘I’ve always wanted a bigger kitchen, I just never realised that it was possible!’ After discussing it, they decided to apply for both the kitchen extension and the loft conversion. ‘We don’t have to do the loft now, but it’s definitely worth getting the planning permission,’ her husband pointed out. ‘We’ll know what we can do, and then we can go ahead with it whenever we want to. And if we decide to move, we can always sell it with the house, so it’s definitely a good investment.’

The next morning, Sharon phoned Mark back and gave him the go-ahead to apply for planning permission. ‘I’m a little worried though,’ she admitted on the phone. ‘I’ve become so excited about the extension. What happens if we don’t get the permission?’

VALOUR PROMOTION

Notes.

Contractors must verify all dimensions at the site before comencing any work.

No constrcution work before Building Control approval and structural engineer confirmation.

Any discrepancies to be reported to Gridline.

All drawings are to be read in conjunction with all relevant drawings and specifications.

Project No.S REV

DATE

DESCRIPTION

BY

PROJECT TITLE

CH Ground Floor 3m wrap around Extension DATE November 2021

Project No.

DRAWING TITLE

Ground Floor 3m wrap around Extension

CLIENT Sharon

s

DRAWING No. SCALE @ A3 Drawn by: Niloufar

‘Don’t worry,’ Mark reassured her. ‘We actually have an 89 percent approval success rate. We’re all about thinking out of the box and in fact, we even have two ex-council planning officers as part of our team. We also have great connections with the council, and we’ll phone them asking for updates. Worse the worse, if it doesn’t get approved, we’ll resubmit – and we never charge for resubmissions.’ Eight weeks later, with the planning approved, Sharon was ready to build the kitchen of her dreams.

‘I think people don’t always realise how much they can do with their existing properties,’ says Joel. ‘Moving isn’t an easy answer, and it’s not always cost effective. Often, properties have so much potential space, and all you need is some good

planning to get your dream house. It’s not necessarily huge changes and drastic jobs we’re talking about, but it’s clever planning that can make all the difference. We’re here to serve our community and to help each person get the most they can out of their property, whether it’s a basement, ground floor extension, first floor extension, loft conversion, or even a succah. There’s nothing like the smile on someone’s face when they finally achieve the house of their dreams. Most things are possible, and good planning is the biggest investment you can make in your property. As we always say, ‘Do it once, do it right.’

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CONTRIBUTORS SISSY ROSE wonderful grandmother, where brides can borrow a headpiece from her huge assortment of pieces, free of charge. You can find her on Instagram @belissimabychaygit, or message her on 07773341115. Looking forward to sharing your Simcha!

Originally from Switzerland, Sissy Rose (Dym) currently lives in Manchester.

Since she can remember, she’s always had a passion for fashion and styling, and she has recently started blogging her fashion finds and tips on Instagram.

It took some courage at first, but she’s glad she did it, and the community of women she’s started to gain has been very wonderful and inspiring for her.

Sissy is all about being real, relatable, and fun, and she truly believes that fashion doesn’t have to be expensive.

You can check her out on Instagram @sissydym.

DANIELLA BROWNSON

SIMPLENQUICK

BY VANESSA AARON

BELISSIMA

BY CHAYGIT

With close to 20 years of experience doing bridal hair and makeup, Chaygit had always been bothered that there weren’t any up-to-date beautiful headpieces available for every single bride. She therefore opened a Gemach in memory of her husband’s

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of Eastern and Asian dishes but also loves to fuse ‘East with West’. She prides herself on using all-natural products and ingredients, and producing lower calorie food without compromising on flavour. We can definitely confirm that all of her dishes are absolutely heavenly and indeed simple and quick to make.

Correction: Vanessa Aaron’s Instagram account was misspelled in our previous edition; the correct Instagram handle is @simplenquick. Just in case you missed it, Vanessa started her Instagram food account to showcase healthy, natural food with lots of flavour. As an Iraqi Jewish from Singapore, she loves to fuse ‘East with West’. She prides herself on using all-natural products and ingredients, and producing lower calorie food without compromising on flavour. We can definitely confirm that all of her dishes are absolutely heavenly and indeed simple and quick to make.

Daniella Brownson is an experienced and professionally trained full-time freelance Makeup Artist based in North West London, who’s passion is makeup. She covers all aspects of makeup specialising in beauty, bridal and high fashion. Using an extensive range of high-end makeup, she works on all skin types and tones. She loves the variation the job provides and finds real value in empowering women through makeup. Seeing the delight on a client’s face and confidence when their look is unveiled is the true beauty of her job. Daniella is available for makeovers, masterclasses and one-toone sessions. She caters for all ages and is able to travel internationally.

She looks forward to meeting you!

Instagram: @daniellab_mua, Email: daniellabrownson1@gmail.com

D

Daniella Brownson MAKE UP ARTIST

CHANI RICHMAN MAKE-UP

LEIVI SALTMAN Chani Richman’s passion as a makeup artist stems from her quest to make YOU love YOU. Her goal is to enable you to look in the mirror and love what you see, to bask in the presence of who you are, to feel confident with your look, and feel like the best and most beautiful version of yourself. When a woman looks good, she feels good and then she is ready to go and conquer the world.

Prepare to see yourself through the Chani Richman’s lens of unmatched perfection. You can also check her out on Instagram @chanirichman, message her on 07776688076, or email Chanirichman@gmail.com to book your glam session.

HOUSE OF LANCRY

House of Lancry is a clothing and lifestyle brand with shops in both Golders Green, and the USA. You can follow them on Instagram @houseoflancry, or check out their extensive range at www. houseoflancry.com.

Leivi Saltman’s interest in photography began at a very early age. After studying Photography A-level, he attended Birmingham City University to widen his knowledge, where he graduated with a 1st Class BA degree in Visual Communications Photography.

Leivi focuses on the key elements which make up any image, from light, tone, texture, shape, form and even colour. By covering all these elements, he is guaranteed the perfect image.

His one aim whilst photographing anything is to capture everything in perfect detail and at the correct moment, which results in a lifetime of memories for his clients. Leivi’s portfolio includes a mixture of private events, corporate and commercial photography. You can contact him by phone on 07784 018496, email him at info@leivisaltmanphotography.com, or you can find him online at www. leivisaltmanphotography.com.

PERFECTLY BAKED BY RIKKY

and Upsherins, until it evolved into a full-scale business. Four years ago, she opened up Cakes by Rikki, which has recently been rebranded to Perfectly Baked by Rikki, where she loves introducing new ideas and coming up with different exciting baked creations.

Alongside this, she also gives classes on the art of cake decorating to both adults and children. You can check out her bespoke cakes, cupcakes, cookies, cake lollies, and much more on her Instagram page @perfectly_baked_ by_rikki, or you can contact her on 07879356656

LA BELLE TABLE La Belle Table is your go-to shop for all of your Tableware needs. At our Hendon based Showroom, we display our extensive ranges of Tableware, Cutlery, Glassware and Cookware.

You will also find our large selection of Giftware items, including Judaica items, photo frames and oven to tableware. We offer a fantastic Gift List Service for Weddings and other special events, which you can check out on Instagram @la.belle.table

London based Rikki Schleider is a selftaught baker, who has had a passion for baking for as long as she can remember. She began her baking career by providing birthday cakes for her family, Bas Mitzvah sweet tables,

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CONTRIBUTORS KAYLA HOLLANDER

Kayla Hollander has been styling hair since she was just 13 years old.

Although it started out as a hobby, it has now grown into a full-fledged business styling hair and wigs for any event. Her talent is mainly self-taught, yet she has also studied her profession, and loves coming up with unique creations. Alongside her love for hair styling, she also does photography as a hobby, which she finds useful as great pictures make your social media look so much better. You can check out her Instagram page @styled.by.Kayla, or you can find her on Facebook under styledbykayla.

PETALZ CAKERY

As the granddaughter of an artist, and the daughter of an internationally acclaimed interior designer, it’s no surprise Carri has found a unique way to merge art and cake decoration. one of London’s most sought after kosher cakery businesses.

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SOPHY WEISS PHOTOGRAPHY What started off as a fun hobby in lockdown has quickly grown into the most sought after kosher cakery businesses. At Petalz Kosher Cakery you’ll have to get your orders in early, because besides designing beautiful floral cupcakes, Carri is also co-founder of Dvash, a Jewish education charity focussing on young couples, where she inspires and mentors the next generation of Jewish women. You can check out her page on Instagram @petalz.kosher.Cakery.

TOVA ALTUSKY Tova Altusky has been doing makeup for around 7 years now. Trained in Israel, she loves all things creative and finds it a real privilege to be able to do what she loves whilst enhancing and becoming a part of peoples’ Simchos. For Tova, the possibilities when doing makeup are endless, and can be personalised in every way possible. She works on enhancing and bringing out her clients’ beauty from within without overpowering them, and whether smoky or subtle, her clients always feel like themselves. Tova is constantly on the look-out for new looks and styles, and feels that there’s always more to learn. You can check her out on Instagram @tovaaltusky

Looking to take your products to the next level? Find you’re not selling like you thought you would? That’s where Sophy Weiss Photography comes in.

Based in Hendon, SWP collaborate with their clients to achieve images which elevate and sell themselves. In today’s world, images are everything, where one look is either a swipe or a purchase. Getting it right is what we do and what you need to do to take your business to where you've always wanted it. Together we work to make your dreams a reality. Contact us by phone on 07508666394 or by email at sophy@sophyweiss.com.

FAME CLOTHING Fame was opened by sisters Reizy Mozes & Chani Wasyng in March 2018.

Situated on Brent Street in London NW4, its aim is to supply ladies and teens with trendy and stylish yet modest clothing. As a franchise of the Fame store in Cedarhurst, NY, a huge amount of effort is invested to create a high class and enjoyable shopping experience. Fame stock a full range of clothing from basics to Simcha-wear, including its very own and exclusive ‘Meli and Pose’ lines. Find them on Instagram @fameonbrent, contact them on 02082015784, or visit their shop on Brent Street, where you can also enjoy late night shopping every Wednesday evening.

ETTY HEKELMAN

FAIGE PHOTOGRAPHY

Faige is a portrait and event photographer residing in London, UK. She loves creating images that make her clients feel as if they are reliving their happiest moments. She began her journey as a photographer at the age of 16 after realizing that she had a natural gravitation towards photography and a passion for capturing the beauty around her.

Faige is a visual creator who exhibits human emotions and expressive storytelling through her images and captures the magic of special moments that families enjoy together.

You can check her out on Instagram @Figsphotography, or email her at figsphotographs@gmail.com

Etty Hekelman has been dealing in diamonds for the last 7 years. She now sells a range of diamonds sourced from all over the world, including her unique Lab Grown Diamonds. With her expertise and training, she has a passion for diamonds and aims to serve the community. She offers excellent Kallah Packages, as well as bespoke pieces and a massive variety of jewellery. You can check out her Instagram @michellecollection_jewellery, or contact her on 07467 650 341

ZAHAVA MIMRAN Zahava Mimran was born in the UK, and alongside being a teacher, she also has a passion for reading and writing.

As an editor, she enjoys mak­ing small changes to articles to bring out their true beauty, and getting in­spiration from all the talented writers who are a part of this magazine. She also very much loves interviewing others and getting to know some of the amazing and talented women who live in our community, and hav­ing a chance to hear and share their voices and stories.

You can get in touch with her through Valour Life­style at contact@valourlifestyle.co.uk

CHAYA BAUMGARTEN Trained by the London College of Style, with a special focus on colour analysis and body shape and years of experience in personal styling, Chaya Baumgarten is a personal stylist who helps you to create a capsule ward­ robe based on your individual style and lifestyle, showing you how to ac­ cessorize, layer, and mix and match.

She does wardrobe sorting to make old outfits work again, and helps you with buying anything you feel you are missing in your wardrobe. Her goal is to make you feel good whether it’s for an event or just every-day wear.

So that everyone can benefit from her inspiration, she has a website selling a curated range of fashionable and modest clothing at www.modestel­ egantlife.co.uk. As the producer of Valour Lifestyle Magazine, she aims to combines fashion with lifestyle to cre­ate a magazine that is entertaining, relaxing, high end, modest, and rel­ evant to the Jewish woman. You can follow or message her on Instagram @ Valour_lifestyle – she’s already ready to help with anything fashion related!

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