Ywcn September 2020

Your Voice. Your Community. Your News.

VOLUME 10

SERVING THE INLAND EMPIRE COMMUNITIES

BIRTHDAY

ISSUE 9 Word Search

ADDICTED! YOU’RE NOT ALONE

FREEBIES Page 3

Addiction

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LORD PLEASE PROTECT OUR FIREFIGHTERS THAT ARE PUTTING THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE TO PROTECT US. KEEP THEM FROM ALL HARM AND DANGER. PRAY FOR OUR FIREFIGHTERS

PRAY FOR THOSE PEOPLE THAT ARE ON THE FRONT LINE FOR US!

PRAY FOR OUR COUNTRY

PRAY FOR UNITY

Let us project the great ideals of all cultures for all to see. Let us celebrate the Universal Family of Humanity.

Collective celebrations of various cultural activities can be conducted in the cities for all people to attend. Many of the ills of society develop because people do not care to know other members of society. By holding certain functions collectively, all the participants are engaged for some time in doing the same thing and this brings about a feeling of commonness and interest in others. There is an opportunity to share the conditions and difficulties of others.

Aspects of unity should be encouraged. Aspects of disunity should be discouraged. Whenever differences arise, it is wise to ignore them. When human beings come close to one another with a genuine feeling of unity, when they share the common joys and sorrows of life, those external differences gradually vanish as a matter of course, they are removed through natural fusion. It is not possible to eradicate them by force.

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People have migrated to the United States for many reasons, they are people whose language, clothing, food habits and religious practices are quite different. The biographies of great saints, sages and personalities from all cultures can be taught to our children in schools. Dramas, movies, television programs showing the lives of outstanding personalities from different countries of the world can be shown. Great ideals can be expressed through the lives of great personalities and the human values of various cultures.

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Publishers Note Ethel Martin-Miller

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With the possible exception of teenagers, just about everyone wants to look younger. That’s why the agedefying industry which includes everything from skin creams to fruit smoothies has become so massive in recent years. These days, it seems that no one actually wants to look their age.

The reality is that the age one appears to be depends far more on one’s everyday habits. So, which habits should you avoid in order to look younger and healthier?

It’s no surprise, perhaps, that smoking regularly is a good way to make yourself look years older than you a ctually are. That’s because cigarettes and cigars contain chemicals that, once released into the air in the form of smoke, tend to stain everything they come into contact with include skin, teeth, eyes, and even hair.

Of course, that’s not even considering the fact that excessive smoking can result in one developing a range of serious health problems, such as serious damage to the mouth, throat, and lungs in a way that can make one sound a lot older than they are.

Failing to get a reasonable amount of sleep each night for an adult, about seven hours; for a child, roughly eight can make us look and feel a lot older than we are. For one, not getting enough sleep robs us of the mental and physical energy we need to get through a typical day. Second, failing to get enough sleep is hard on our bodies, including our most vital organs, like the brain and heart. The bottom line is that not getting a sufficient amount of sleep makes us look and feel years older than we are while making it difficult to carry out the tasks that give us a chance to grow, personally and professionally.

The sad thing about eating a lot of junk food from candy and cookies to fast food hamburgers and French fries is that it puts one into a vicious cycle. First, you eat fast food, which may taste good but leaves you feeling bloated, tired, and generally a bit lousy. The cycle then repeats. In time, one gains weight! Before you know it, the idea of exercising regularly and eating healthy becomes a completely foreign concept and you look a whole lot older as a result.

Focusing on your career above all else like your physical health or home and family can help you climb the corporate ladder, but it comes with a cost.

Put simply, taking on as much as possible at work in order to advance your career might net you a promotion, but is it worth

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looking and feeling a lot older? Many workaholics resorting to fast food in order to get by is a situation that leaves many people one or two steps ahead in their careers but far, far behind in every other part of their lives; self, family and relationships.

Keeping in reasonable physical shape is perhaps the most important step in maintaining the look and feel of a younger, healthier person. For most people, that requires following a healthy diet based on the consumption of lots of fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains and exercising regularly.

“Regularly Exercise” is KEY! In contrast, exercising regularly helps us maintain both our appearance and our energy levels, meaning there’s never a need to cram in physical activity in order to boost our self-esteem or look our best for a big event.

Many of the other items on this list focus on our physical appearance, but there’s more to feeling and acting older than that. Maintaining good hearing is also an important part of feeling and acting younger. Let’s face it, no one who constantly asks their friends, family and colleagues to repeat themselves comes across as young and healthful.

In a perfect world, we would all love the taste of the healthiest foods, and particularly vegetables like broccoli, carrots, and kale. But in a world where the most accessible (and in many cases, flavorful) food tends to be the least healthy food, it can be tough for many people to fit vegetables into their daily menu.

And that’s a problem because vegetables are packed with the vitamins and minerals we need to look and feel healthy. The key is to find vegetables that you enjoy eating and to work them into your diet however possible even if that means hiding your kale in smoothies or sauces.

Drinking alcohol in moderation probably won’t present serious problems for your health or appearance. But many people struggle to check their drinking at one or two alcoholic beverages a night; in fact, today many people both young and old spend their weekends (or even weeknights) binge drinking, or drinking three, four, or even more alcoholic drinks in an evening. Binge drink will make you grow older.

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Whether you had a clean break or a messy split, getting back with your ex-spouse isn’t the most absurd idea in the world. It’s actually far from it. After all, lots of people come to realize they’re not really over their ex. And the good news is your relationship may still be salvageable, even after the marriage has been legally dissolved.

If you think divorce was a mistake, now’s your chance. Here are some reasons to consider getting back together with your Ex. First of all, you’re still in love it’s imperative we mention the most important reason for getting back together with your ex-spouse. This, of course, should be a basic prerequisite for any person looking to return to a past relationship.

So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we can say this: Despite what The Beatles preached, love really isn’t all you need. For that reason, you need to make sure you’re truly ready to dip your toes back into those marital waters.

You and your spouse decided to split for one reason or another. When you look back, were your problems fleeting or never-ending? Was the root of the problem chronic? If not, there’s still hope.

Maybe it’s time to have an honest discussion with your ex about how you’re feeling, and whether or not there’s any chance of reconciling.

It’s not uncommon for a relationship to fall apart after feeling like you’ve lost your sense of self. And when dealing with post-divorce messiness, there’s no need to bottle up your emotions. In fact, doing so could actually harm your emotional well-being in the long run.

Those who’d honestly faced their

emotional strife head-on were more likely to heal emotionally. Before trying for round two, make sure you’ve allowed yourself time to grieve, and, in turn, regain your sense of self.

The “self-concept reorganization,’ the process of seeing and defining yourself separate from your ex and from the relationship.” This really is a necessary step to take before entering another relationship with your ex.

Maybe you left your spouse because you were hell-bent on getting pregnant your first year of marriage. Your spouse, however, was not. After you went through with the divorce, reality set in, and you quickly realized you’d rather toss your self-imposed timeline out the window than live without the love of your life.

Naturally, you’ll need to have a candid conversation with your ex, so be prepared to fully disclose your true feelings. And remember that it’s not just up to you to make it happen. You both have to want a new kind of relationship, one that will work this time around. It takes two to tango, after all.

You break up, yet your desire to go running back can be unbearable. So, how can you tell the difference between fleeting lust and real love? Take cautions not to get caught up in the moment. If your ex surprises you with a candle-lit dinner, tread lightly. Even though you may be giddy with delight, don’t let those feelings dictate your next move.

There’s no need to declare you’re ready to get back together if, deep down, you’re not. Feelings that aren’t fleeting, on the other hand, certainly warrant reconsideration. See if your feelings last, and go from there.

It’s not uncommon for married couples to stay together for the sake of their kids. So, who’s to say the same reason couldn’t bring ex-spouses back together after a divorce?

It’s not uncommon that “with the continued connection between ex-spouses because of their children, some couples find they still do have feelings for each other after the turmoil from the separation subsides.” Having kids with someone is quite the bond.

Maybe you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as your spouse while you were married. But it turns out, now that you’re divorced, you’re even more miserable without them. As time’s gone by, you’ve gained more clarity. “the grass isn’t always greener”. Don’t let your pride cloud your judgment; if you’re miserable without your ex, be straight about it. It just may pay off.

MARRIAGE SEMINARS SUGGESTION Attending a seminars is one way to get help. Couples that have the means of attending a two-day workshops for the purpose of marriage restoration and growth. Seminars can provided the remedy that many marriages desperately need. Below we have a testimony of a couple that attended a seminar. We will call her Lisa. “I knew in my heart that divorce was not what God wanted … but deep down, I was hoping he (her husband) would leave,” confessed Lisa.

“What happened after the seminar could fill a book! We confessed the ways we had failed one another and sought forgiveness. Then my husband was convicted of his need to be in God’s Word daily. Prior to attending the seminar I was certain I had two options, end my marriage or continue unhappily ever after. Praise be to God that his ways are not our ways.” “wherever you are in your marriage, take steps of growth, steps that can help your marriage.

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ARE YOU DOING THINGS THAT YOUR DOG SECRETLY HATE?

A dog is more than just a pet they’re a family member whose life you're responsible for. You’ll have to learn your dog’s preferences to make sure you aren’t doing things they secretly hate. Are you hugging your dog to tight? There’s been some debate over whether or not dogs hate being hugged, but the consensus seems to be that, at the very least, they probably don’t love it. When they’re hugged, which is a behavior dogs don’t naturally do with each other, they show signs of stress like becoming tense, pinning their ears back, or moving away from you. This doesn’t mean you can’t show your dog affection. But find ways to show that affection in ways other than a full-blown hug.

Although dogs are, by nature, a social pack animal, it doesn’t mean all dogs want to be social all the time. Some develop phobias of men, strangers, or children that can lead to dangerous situations. If you notice your dog being aggressive with another on your walks or at the dog park, don’t keep forcing them together expecting them to “warm up” to each other. Just take your dog home where they can relax.

Sometimes we’re all rushed but for the sake of your dog, it’s important to make time. Not only do they need the daily exercise and routine, but they also need time built in to that walk to smell things.

As annoying as it might be, stopping to smell that grass or tree stump is actually an automatic behavior for the dog, and it’s a bad idea to try and train it out of them.

You’ve probably noticed that when you’re upset, your dog reacts to it. Or when you’re running around preparing for a vacation, and you could swear your dog knows you’re leaving. The reality is, they probably do. Dogs can pick up on emotional cues, just like people can.

Outside of a particularly stressful event, they can also sense your general anxiety or stress, even when you think it’s imperceptible.

There are some great dog toys you can buy to encourage your dog to play while you’re gone, but that doesn’t

make up for quality human/dog playtime.

It’s so important that dogs who get more playtime are less likely to have behavioral problems like jumping on people, being aggressive, and exhibiting signs of anxiety.

Not to mention it’s a great bonding experience for the two of you.

Whether it’s a friend visiting your house or a stranger you encounter on your walk, it’s important to lay some ground rules for those wanting to interact with your dog. Even the friendliest dog can become aggressive if they feel they’re being threatened, and letting people get too close to their face can come across as threatening.

You’re punishing them the wrong ways.

There are right and wrong ways to discipline your dog, and doing so in the wrong ways can cause lasting damage to your relationship. Hitting the dog, smacking them on the nose, or screaming for the dog to stop are all ways to upset your dog. Try techniques like using a squirt bottle, timeouts, or distracting the dog instead.

Most of us would love to spend all day home snuggling our pets.

Unfortunately, work and social engagements often pull us away. While it’s totally understandable to leave your dog alone sometimes, leaving them at home alone for extended periods of time can cause behavioral problems, can cause anxiety and boredom when they don’t exercise and get the attention they need. It is unhealthy for dogs to go more than eight hours without being able to pee.

Dogs can develop fears from past trauma, or they can be born with them. One of the most common dog fears is loud noises, which can include thunderstorms, fireworks, or any other loud, unfamiliar sound.

A Dogs is a pet and a part of the family.

By Jackie Baber

The Next Level 2 Beauty Salon

We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones and all of us have likely had (or have) at least one person in our lives who have us bending around ourselves like barbed wire in endless attempts to please them – only to never really get there.

They can have you questioning your ‘over-reactiveness’, your ‘oversensitivity’, your ‘tendency to misinterpret’. If you’re the one who’s continually hurt, or the one who is constantly adjusting your own behavior to avoid being hurt, then chances are that it’s not you and it’s very much them. Being able to spot their harmful behavior is the first step to minimizing their impact. You might not be able to change what they do, but you can change what you do with it.

There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage. They’ll keep you guessing about which version of them you’re getting. They’ll be completely lovely one day and the next you’ll be wondering what you’ve done to upset them. There often isn’t anything obvious that will explain the change of attitude you just know something isn’t right. They might be prickly, sad, cold or cranky and when you ask if there’s something wrong, the answer will likely be ‘nothing, but they’ll give you just enough to let you know that there’s something. The ‘just enough’ might be a heaving sigh, a raised eyebrow, a cold shoulder. When this happens, you might find yourself making excuses for them or doing everything you can to make them happy. See why it works for them?

Stop trying to please them. Toxic people figured out a long time ago that decent people will go to extraordinary lengths to keep the people they care about happy. If your attempts to please aren’t working or aren’t lasting for very long, maybe it’s time to stop. Walk away and come back when the mood has shifted.

You are not responsible for anybody else’s feelings.

If you feel as though you’re the only one contributing to the relationship, you’re probably right. Toxic people have a way of sending out the vibe that you owe them something. They also have a way of taking from you or doing something that hurts you.

They’ll regularly put you in a position where you have to choose

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between them and something else and you’ll always feel obliged to choose them.

Toxic people will wait until you have a commitment, then they’ll unfold the drama. ‘If you really cared about me you’d skip your exercise class and spend time with me.’ The problem with this is that enough will never be enough.

They’ll lie before they ever apologize, so there’s no point arguing.

They’ll twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense.

People don’t have to apologize to be wrong. And you don’t need an apology to move forward. Just move forward without them. Don’t surrender your truth but don’t keep the argument going.

There’s just no point. Some people want to be right more than they want to be happy and you have better things to do than to provide fodder for the right-fighters.

They’ll use non-toxic words with a toxic tone. The message might be innocent enough but the tone conveys so much more. Something like, ‘What did you do today?’ can mean different things depending on the way it’s said. It could mean anything from ‘So I bet you did nothing – as usual,’ to ‘I’m sure your day was better than mine. Mine was awful.

Just awful. And you didn’t even notice enough to ask.’ When you question the tone, they’ll come back with, ‘All I said was what did you do today,’ which is true, kind of, not really.

They’ll make it about the way you’re talking, rather than what you’re talking about. You might be trying to resolve an issue or get clarification and before you know it, the conversation/ argument has moved away from the issue that was important to you and on to the manner in which you talked about it –whether there is any issue with your manner or not. You’ll find yourself defending your tone, your gestures, your choice of words or the way you belly moves when you breathe – it doesn’t even need to make sense.

Meanwhile, your initial need is well gone on the pile of unfinished conversations that seems to grow bigger by the day.

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Veteran Affairs

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Information

Yes We Can Newspaper says thank you!

"Can't stay away from social media? You're not alone; social networking is engineered to be as habit-forming as crack cocaine.

Social networks are massively addictive.

Most people I know check and interact on social sites constantly throughout the day. "And they have no idea how much actual time they spend on social media." "If you're a social media addict, and your addiction is getting worse, there's a reason for that: Most of the major social network companies, as well as social content creators, are working hard every day to make their networks so addictive that you can't resist them."

I wish I knew how to quit Facebook! Research has taken a looked at (among other things) the difficulty some people have in quitting Facebook and other social networks. They even have a label for the failure to quit: "social media reversion." The study used data from a site called 99DaysofFreedom.com, which encourages people to stop using Facebook for 99 days. "The site and study are interesting because they revealed the difficulty people have quitting Facebook because of addiction. "Participants intended to quit, wanted to quit and believed they could quit (for 99 days), but many couldn't make more than a few days."

"The addictive aspect of social networking is associated with FOMO — fear of missing out.

Everyone is on Facebook.

They're posting things, sharing news and content and talking to each other 24/7." The network effect itself is addicting as quoted by The New York Times. A network effect is the idea that any network becomes more valuable as more people connect to that network. The phone system is the best example of this phenomenon you have to have a phone because everybody else has a phone.

In the world of social networking, Facebook benefits most from network effect. Facebook happened to be the top social network when social networking busted out as a mainstream activity. Now, everybody's on Facebook because everybody's on Facebook. And even people who don't like the social network use it anyway, because that's where their

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family, friends and colleagues are and because of addiction." "The contribution of network effect to the addictive quality of websites is accidental.

But social sites are also addictive by design." That notification number "One trick social network use is a notification number, showing you the number of people at a glance who have mentioned or followed you.

"Notification numbers appear on the app icon to draw you in, then on the top or bottom menu to draw you in further. They play the same psychological trick on you that clickbait headlines do they tell you that there's information you really want to know, but they don't tell you enough to satisfy." A headline could say: "Patti LaBelle's Pies Are Selling for $40.99 on eBay." But the clickbait version is: "You Won't Believe How Much Patti LaBelle's Pies Are Selling for on eBay" which, you'll notice is even longer. "Notification numbers work just like that. Seeing a red "3" on the Facebook notifications bar is like a clickbait headline: "You won't believe what three people have said about you." You've got to click or tap. It's compulsive. And over time, it becomes addictive."

"The biggest tool in the social media addition toolbox is algorithmic filtering. Sites like Facebook, Google+ and, soon, Twitter, tweak their algorithms, then monitor the response of users to see if those tweaks kept them on the site longer or increased their engagement. We're all lab rats in a giant, global experiment.

"The use of algorithms for making social streams increasingly addictive explains a lot. It explains why Facebook (which has been tweaking its addiction algorithm the longest) now gets more than a billion users a day. It explains why Google never lets you turn off algorithmic stream filtering all the way. And it explains why Twitter wants to algorithmically filter feeds, despite the general objection of users." "The tweaking of algorithmic filters for addiction means that, in theory, social sites get more addictive every day, and that the sites are in a war for survival where only the most addictive sites will survive. Meanwhile, our innate human ability to resist this addiction doesn't evolve.

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