Chasing Clarity

VOLUME 1

FALL 2023

CHASING CLARITY THE RELATIONSHIP EDITION

Stop Ignoring the Red Flags in Your Relationship!

TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: RECOGNIZING SIGNS OF CODEPENDENCY

E VE • XCLU SI

• EXCL VE U SI

READY, SET, WHOA!

•EXCL VE U SI

•EXCL VE U SI

THE EX FILES: HAVE YOU MOVED ON FROM YOUR EX?

TAKE THE QUIZ!

COUPLES COMMUNICATION TIPS 101

THE SECRET TO BEING ALONE BUT FULFILLED: UNCOVER THE POWER OF ONE

Photo Credit: Marvin Somoza Photography

Letter from the Editor

I am so excited to share Chasing Clarity! I am very grateful to YouxBespoke for the opportunity to bring my essence and vision to life in a Magazine! From cover to cover, I hope you, the reader, leave with a newfound curiosity. I hope you not only learn something new, but that your spirit of interest has been sparked to continue learning. I hope that your mind has been stimulated and your heart has been moved! Chasing Clarity was birthed from a place of wanting to share on matters of mental health and well-being as well as coming together as a community to learn and grow.

I have chosen the theme of ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS for my first magazine because we are either in one, have been in one, or going to be in one. Relationships can be the place of healing and joy and also our very first experience of pain and betrayal. Relationships can make life easier and doable and can also birth distrust in us and initiate pessimism into our world view. Relationships matter. Who we are in a relationship with matters. Who we are when we are in a relationship matters. And this is why this topic is pivotal. Lets learn to embrace the journey from being single to deciding if this partnership is ready for the next step to learning tips on how to keep it alive.

From a young age, loving people deeply came

natural to me. Holding space for people's stories and most vulnerable experiences came as second nature.

If being a good friend could be defined as a purpose, do it for a living. It might look a bit different in my counseling practice in the role of a therapist than

when I am sitting with my friends and loved ones but I can promise you that I give the best of me and I love my clients where they are at. It is my honor to have access to their stories and access to their world. I have taken a leap of faith and have branched out on my own in private practice. This is the launch of Chasing Clarity Magazine but also the inception of JoJo the business owner and operator

With that said, I would like to welcome you to Chasing Clarity Magazine. Thank you for flipping to the first page. I hope you enjoy the reading while enjoying the ride.

Joann “JoJo” Venant Editor-in-Chief

FALL 2023| THE RELATIONSHIP EDITION

well it was my purpose. It is my purpose! And I get to

of The Clarity Hour, LLC. A place where you can enter an empowering space to find healing, gain clarity, and have the confidence to embrace life on your own terms.

PAGE 02 | CHASING CLARITY

Introducing The Clarity Hour Counseling

Your Most Valuable Investment Starts Within.

Take the First Step on Your Counseling Journey and Rediscover Life on Your Own Terms.

Phone (407) 494-1705 | theclarityhour.net

Table of Contents The Secret to Being Alone but Fulfilled: Uncover the Power of ONE

Joann's Iced Chai Latte with a Coffee Twist and Dreamy Cold Foam

Ready, Set, Whoa!

Understanding and Addressing Relationship Red Flags

06

14

08

12

Couples Communications Tips 101

18

Quiz: The Ex Files: Have You Moved On From Your Ex?

26

How Close Is Too Close? Recognizing The Signs of Codependency

32

JoJo’s Picks: 19 Resources For Personal Growth & Well-Being

THE RELATIONSHIP EDITION

Inside This Issue Dive deep into the intricate world of relationships, exploring the tell-tale signs of underlying issues and the importance of addressing them head-on. Journey with us through the dynamic phases of relationships, from the exciting college days to the reflective golden years, and discover how personal growth intertwines with our bonds. Plus, don't miss our spotlight features on inspiring individuals and a special promotion that's sure to turn heads. Navigate through these pages for insights, stories, and expert advice tailored to nourish your soul and strengthen your connections.

CHASING CLARITY MAGAZINE

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Inside This Issue 02 Letter from the Editor 16 Evolving Together: Embracing New Chapters Of Love

20 Don’t Let Your Next Pay For Your Ex 24 Couples Recipe: Vegan Zuppa Toscana 30 Shades Of Gray: Discovering The Layers of ‘It’s Complicated’ 34 10 Tips To Keeping Your Relationship Alive 38 Breakup’s Silver Lining: Recognizing When You’re Ready To Shine

42 Finding Forever: Distinguishing Mr. Right Now From Mr. Forever

44 Bibliography 45 Acknowledgements

PAGE 05 | CHASING CLARITY

The Secret to Being Alone but Fulfilled: Uncover the Power of ONE Photo Credit: Shutterstock

The idea of being alone often conjures images of dimly lit rooms, brooding thoughts, and melancholic music playing in the background.

But what if I told you that solitude, when embraced, can be one of the most empowering experiences you can give yourself?

In a world that's constantly preaching about finding "the one", let's talk about the oftenunderappreciated power of being "ONE." The Myth of Completeness Many grow up with tales of princes, princesses, and the age-old narrative that someone out there will complete us. Yet, in real life, waiting for someone or something to complete us can lead to a never-ending cycle of searching outside ourselves for fulfillment.

The truth is, you are the "one" for yourself. You are a whole, multifaceted individual who can cultivate happiness, meaning, and purpose independently.

PAGE 06 | CHASING CLARITY

By Joann ‘JoJo’ Venant Rediscovering Yourself Spending time alone encourages selfreflection. Who are you when no one's watching? What dreams have been shelved, waiting for the "right time"? Embrace solitude as a time to: 1. Revisit Old Hobbies: Remember that painting kit you bought but never used? Or the journal you intended to write in? Now's the time!

2. Discover New Passions: Ever wanted to try meditation or a new fitness routine? Dive in without reservations.

3. Reconnect with Nature: Take walks, feel the earth under your feet, and appreciate the world's beauty without distractions.

In your journey of relationships, don't forget the most important one - the one with yourself.

Strengthening Emotional Resilience Alone doesn't mean lonely. Building a relationship with oneself can lead to heightened emotional resilience. When you're comfortable with your thoughts and emotions, you can navigate life's ups and downs with greater equanimity.

Setting Boundaries Being alone allows you to recognize your needs, set boundaries, and determine who and what aligns with your life's purpose. It's about reclaiming your space, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The Joys of Solo Adventures Whether it's dining at a local restaurant, traveling to a dream destination, or simply exploring Lake Nona's scenic spots, there's a unique joy in experiencing things at your pace, on your terms.

Finding Clarity There's a reason my practice is named "The Clarity Hour." It signifies the immense clarity one finds in moments of solitude. It's when the world's noise fades, and we can listen to our inner voice, guiding us towards our truth.

As a bilingual counselor with over a decade of experience, I've seen countless individuals rediscover their spark, their essence, during moments of solitude. Alone time isn't about isolation but rather about celebration - celebrating YOU.

Remember, it's not about finding the right person but about being the right person for yourself.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

I often say to my clients, "In your journey of relationships, don't forget the most important one the one with yourself."

While sharing our lives with others is a beautiful experience, it's equally essential to remember that being alone doesn't equate to loneliness. Instead, it's a golden opportunity to embrace, understand, and love ourselves more deeply.

Remember, it's not about finding the right person but about being the right person for yourself. So, the next time you find yourself alone, smile and know that you're in great company.

If you found this article insightful and wish to explore more about building a robust relationship with oneself, join me at "The Clarity Hour." Let's reignite that flame and empower you to tackle life's challenges with a renewed sense of SELF. PAGE 07 | CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Getty Images

In the intricate ballet of human interaction, relationships are the music that give rhythm to our lives. However, sometimes this rhythm is disrupted by persistent, underlying discordant notes—red flags that signal underlying issues. Addressing these alarms is crucial, not just for the harmony of our relationships but also for our personal growth and well-being.

Red flags in relationships act as warning alarms, signaling deeper, unresolved issues and conflicts. These signals can manifest in a myriad of ways, from overt breaches of trust and respect to subtler, more nuanced signs like the consistent dismissal of your thoughts and feelings. They are indicators of underlying discord, signs that the relationship may be deviating from a path of health and mutual respect, often pointing toward potential harm, dissatisfaction, and a lack of fulfillment.

Red flags in relationships act as warning alarms, signaling deeper, unresolved issues and conflicts.

PAGE 08 | CHASING CLARITY

By Dr. Ezra Issacson

Why We Often Miss Them

Our capability to recognize red flags is frequently impaired by a variety of factors. The initial stages of relationships are often laden with a sense of optimism and a surge of feel-good hormones, making us prone to overlooking potential issues.

This selective perception, fueled by the intense emotional connection and the desire for acceptance, often leads us to rationalize or downright ignore the warning signs, hoping that things will eventually get better. The deep-seated fear of confrontation, rejection, or ending up alone can further blind us to the glaring issues in the relationship, trapping us in a cycle of denial and rationalization.

The Cost of Ignoring Red Flags: Ignoring red flags can result in enduring unhealthy, detrimental relationships that severely impact our well-being. A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that individuals often perceive potential red flags in the initial stages of the relationship but choose to overlook them due to their emotional investment.

This oversight can later lead to significant relationship dissatisfaction[1]. This neglect can lead to a progressive accumulation of emotional pain, resentment, anxiety, and mistrust, eroding the essence of the relationship over time.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

“I was in a relationship where my partner was constantly undermining my career goals and aspirations. It was subtle at first, small remarks and snide comments. But as time progressed, it became a persistent pattern of disdain and disrespect. I overlooked it initially, convinced it was just his way of looking out for me. It was only when a close friend pointed out this red flag that I started seeing the destructive pattern clearly. Acknowledging it was painful, but it led me to confront the issue and eventually exit the relationship, paving the way for personal growth and healthier relationships in the future.”

KATHERINE M., NEW YORK

How to Recognize Them:

Steps to Address Red Flags:

1. Inconsistent Communication: A lack of alignment between words and actions is a crucial sign of underlying issues.

2. Extreme Jealousy: This can be a precursor to more severe problems like possessiveness and controlling behavior.

3. Avoidance of Serious Conversations: Regularly avoiding discussions about the relationship's future may indicate commitment issues or unresolved personal conflicts.

4. Lack of Support: If your partner constantly undermines your goals, ambitions, or achievements, it might be a red flag indicating a lack of respect or support.

5. Gaslighting: If your partner constantly dismisses your feelings and perceptions, making you doubt your reality, it’s a serious red flag indicating manipulation and emotional abuse.

1. Seek Clarity: Open a dialogue about your concerns, ensuring communication is clear, honest, and respectful.

2. Establish Boundaries: Clearly define what behavior is unacceptable and stick to your limits.

3. Seek Professional Guidance: Counseling can provide a supportive environment to navigate relational difficulties and personal growth.

4. Prioritize Self-Care: Regularly engage in activities that promote your well-being, resilience, and self-esteem, enabling you to maintain a balanced perspective.

5. Develop a Support Network: Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with friends and family to provide perspective, support, and guidance when navigating relationship difficulties.

Why We Stay:

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Despite the presence of red flags, many choose to remain in unhealthy relationships due to a complex interplay of emotions, fears, and hopes.

The emotional bond and shared experiences create a strong attachment, making the idea of leaving daunting and painful.

The fear of loneliness and the societal pressure to maintain the relationship further complicate the decision-making process. Additionally, the hope and belief that the partner will change, and the relationship will improve, often keep individuals anchored in dysfunctional relational dynamics.

THE RELATIONSHIP EDITION

PAGE 09 | CHASING CLARITY

“My relationship was marked by extreme jealousy and possessiveness, which I initially mistook for passion and deep love.

It reached a point where every interaction I had with the outside world was scrutinized and criticized.

The constant accusations and distrust were red flags I chose to ignore, thinking that it would get better with time. It affected my mental health and selfesteem deeply.

Seeking professional advice helped me recognize the toxicity of the relationship, allowing me to break free and start the journey towards healing and self-discovery.”

- DAVID R., LOS ANGELES

PAGE 10 | CHASING CLARITY

Facing relationship red flags is never easy, but it’s a crucial step towards fostering healthier, more fulfilling connections. It’s not merely about identifying issues but about taking action, whether that involves resolving underlying problems or, in some cases, leaving the relationship. Research from the National Institutes of Health suggests that being in an unhealthy relationship can have significant negative effects on mental health, with individuals in such relationships having a higher likelihood of experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety[2].

By embracing self-awareness, courage, and open communication, we can transform our relationships and, consequently, our lives, fostering connections that are truly nurturing and enriching. Remember, recognizing and addressing red flags is not a journey of criticism and blame, but a path of growth, understanding, and love. It's about creating a space where both partners feel seen, heard, valued, and respected, paving the way for a deeper, more meaningful connection.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time

– Maya Angelou

PAGE 11 | CHASING CLARITY

Self-Development

Couples Communication Tips 101

By Dr. Ezra Issacson

In the intricate dance of relationships, communication is the rhythm that keeps partners in step with one another. Research consistently emphasizes its significance: according to the Pew Research Center, 42% of couples indicate that their partner's responsiveness to what they share contributes to their happiness.

Yet, how often have we heard or even said, “We just can’t communicate!”? Well, fret not. The journey to impeccable communication is paved with patience, understanding, and a touch of finesse. Here’s your essential guide to ace couples' communication.

PAGE 12 | CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

1. Active Listening: It's one thing to hear, but quite another to genuinely listen. Being present, refraining from interrupting, and absorbing what your partner says can transform your conversations. According to the American Psychological Association, active listening can lead to higher trust and promote a deeper bond between partners.

2. Avoid Blame Games: Phrases like "You always" or "You never" can quickly escalate an argument. Focus on expressing feelings without laying blame.

-Cont.

3. Body Language Matters: Did you know that a significant portion of our communication is non-verbal? Ensure that your body language is open and receptive.

4. Establish a 'Safe Word': No, not just for those spicy moments.

Having a word that signals a need for a break during intense discussions can prevent things from boiling over.

5. Dive Beneath the Surface: Rather than just skimming over daily pleasantries, allocate moments to discuss deeper feelings, hopes, and fears.

6. Understand Your Communication Styles: We're all unique. Some of us are direct, while others might be more reflective or analytical. Recognize your style and your partner’s to foster understanding.

7. The Magic of "I" Statements: Instead of saying, "You upset me," try "I felt upset when…". It reduces the defensive reaction and promotes a solution-oriented approach.

8. Pick the Right Time: Timing is everything. Choose a moment when both of you aren’t stressed, distracted, or overly emotional.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

9. Embrace Vulnerability: Being open about your vulnerabilities can pave the way for more profound intimacy. It's like revealing your secret sauce in the recipe of love.

10. Seek External Guidance: Consider counseling or workshops.

Sometimes, an outside perspective, especially from experts, can make all the difference.

In conclusion, think of communication as the lifeblood of your relationship. It's more than just words exchanged—it's about understanding, empathy, and connection. Renowned relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, suggests that a "bid" for connection happens when one partner reaches out to the other. Every conversation, no matter how small, is an opportunity to grow closer, to strengthen the bonds you've built. So, next time you're navigating through a tough topic or simply discussing your day, remember: It's the heart behind the words that truly matters. Stay curious, stay open, and never stop learning the beautiful language of love that you and your partner share.

PAGE 13 | CHASING CLARITY

JoJo’s Kitchen

SERVING

1

TIME

7 MINS

Iced Chai Latte with a Coffee Twist and Dreamy Cold Foam

KCAL.

485 Photo Credit: Getty Images

INGREDIENTS 1 CUP BREWED CHAI TEA (COOLED)

1/4 CUP BREWED COFFEE (COOLED)

2 TBSP YOUR FAVORITE PLANT-BASED MILK (ALMOND, OAT, SOY, ETC.)

1 TBSP MAPLE SYRUP OR SWEETENER OF CHOICE (ADJUST TO TASTE)

GENEROUS SCOOP ICE CUBES

Chai Latte PAGE 14 | CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Instructions: 1. Brewing Perfectly: Start by brewing your chai tea and coffee.

To get the best flavors, ensure your tea and coffee are brewed strong. Once done, allow them to cool to room temperature or place them in the fridge.

2. Mix it Up: In a large glass, add the cooled chai tea, coffee, and plant-based milk. Stir in the maple syrup or your chosen sweetener. Adjust to your taste preference.

3. Icy Touch: Fill the glass with ice cubes, leaving some space at the top for the cold foam.

4. Cold Foam Magic: In a frother or blender, combine the plantbased milk, vanilla extract, and sweetener. Froth or blend until the mixture becomes light and airy. If you don't have a frother, you can also use a jar with a lid. Simply shake the mixture vigorously until it becomes frothy.

5. Top it Off: Gently spoon the cold foam over your iced chai latte, filling the glass to the top.

6. Serve & Savor: With a reusable straw or sip straight from the glass, enjoy the layers of flavors, from the aromatic chai to the robust coffee, all crowned with the creamy cold foam.

For the Cold Foam: - 1/2 cup of plant-based milk (oat milk works best for foam) - 1 tsp of vanilla extract - 1 tsp of maple syrup or sweetener of choice

: o J o J m o fr e t No

ts can come n e m le e e rs e iv d mbol of how This drink is a sy nious. Much o rm a h d n a l fu ti u something bea together to create ve their own a h ts n ie d e gr in t the differen like relationships, ul experience. tf gh li e d a e k a m together to essence but blend sweetness in our f o sh a d a d n a nderstanding, Cheers to love, u lives!

XX

PAGE 15 | CHASING CLARITY

Evolving

TOGETHER

By Natasha Bordeaux

Embracing New Chapters of Love

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Journey Through Relationship Wonderland: Relationships are like a dance of vibrant colors, always changing, always bursting with new shades and hues. They kickstart with sparks flying and hearts racing and evolve into a rich tapestry of shared moments and individual growth.

PAGE 16 | CHASING CLARITY

The Discovery Phase:

The Deepening Phase:

In this exciting kick-off, every moment is a treasure hunt, a chance to explore and learn more about each other’s worlds. It’s where you set the tone, lay the foundations of trust, and bask in the glow of newfound connection!

The relationship becomes a profound connection of shared dreams and values. It’s where you explore the depths of love and companionship, supporting each other’s aspirations and building a shared vision for the future.

The Realization Phase: This is where the rosecolored glasses come off, and you start seeing each other in all your imperfect, human glory. It’s all about adjustments, learning, and embracing each other, flaws and all!

The Stability Phase:

Here’s where the roots deepen, and you both create a nurturing environment, a secure base to face life’s adventures and challenges together, forging a strengthened sense of unity and commitment.

Every new chapter in life brings a fresh beat to your relationship dance.

As the American Psychological Association highlights, facing life’s rhythms together, be it new jobs or the highs and lows of parenthood, can make your bond rock solid!

Pho to C red it: S hut ters toc k

Let's talk about the fascinating journey of relationships. Just like us, our relationships go through numerous phases, each marked by personal growth and varying circumstances.

Whether you’re reminiscing about those carefree college days, navigating the high seas of career stress, or stepping into the wild journey of parenthood, each phase comes with its own set of lessons and sparks of transformation!

Trust the Process

EVOLVING TOGETHER - CONTINUED

College Sweethearts Ah, college! A playground of spontaneity and late-night whispers. It’s the epoch of discovery, a period where love is a journey of mutual and selfexploration, and dreams and values are at the forefront.

Career Climbers Enter the professional maze!

Here, love dances with ambition, and the balance between them is a thrilling adventure. It’s the chapter of compromises and lifting each other towards our goals.

Parenthood Partners Welcome to the universe of parenthood! A realm where roles are redefined, and hearts grow. It’s where love deepens and is enriched by the joy and trials of raising our future.

Golden Year Companions Sailing into the sunset years, we relish in reflection and shared silences, appreciating the tapestry of shared experiences and the contentment of a life journeyed together.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Hugging Change with Joy and Understanding: To keep the relationship dance fluid and harmonious, embracing change with open hearts and minds is key. It's about understanding and respecting each other’s evolving selves and maintaining harmony through life’s myriad transformations.

Relationships are our co-adventures through life’s roller coaster. It’s all about growing, learning, and weaving a stronger, more resilient bond with every new experience. So here’s a cheer to embrace each twist and turn with laughter, love, and a dash of excitement!

Isn’t it beautiful how we, as individuals, evolve, learn, and transform while being in a relationship? It’s like being on a journey where every step is about discovering new facets of ourselves and our partners. So, let’s continue to dance through the transformations with joy and embrace the beautiful journey of growing together!

As the American Psychological Association highlights, facing life’s rhythms together, be it new jobs or the highs and lows of parenthood, can make your bond rock solid!

PAGE 17 | CHASING CLARITY

The Ex Files: Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Navigating post-breakup emotions can be a rollercoaster.

One moment you feel like you’ve completely moved on, and the next, a memory flashes, pulling you back into the past.

Whether you’re certain you’re over your ex or still questioning your feelings, our quiz is designed to help you understand where you stand. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Dive in and discover just how far you’ve come on your post-breakup journey!

1. When you're out and about, do you hope to run into your ex?

- a) Always, I even plan my outings hoping I'd bump into them.

- b) Sometimes, the thought crosses my mind.

- c) Rarely, it's more of a fleeting thought.

- d) Never, I honestly don’t care about bumping into them.

5. When dating someone new, do you compare them to your ex?

- a) All the time.

- b) Sometimes, especially if there are glaring similarities or differences.

- c) Rarely, only on big things.

- d) Never, everyone is their own person.

2. How often do you post on social media hoping your ex will see?

- a) Very often, I want them to see how I'm doing.

- b) Occasionally, but it's not always intentional.

- c) Maybe once or twice since the breakup.

- d) Never. I post for me, not for them.

6. How often do you reminisce about the good times with your ex?

- a) Daily.

- b) Whenever I'm feeling lonely.

- c) Only when something specific reminds me.

- d) Hardly ever.

3. Do you find yourself talking about your ex often in conversations?

- a) Yes, almost every conversation circles back to them.

- b) Sometimes, especially if something reminds me of them.

- c) Only if someone else brings them up.

- d) No, they hardly ever come up.

7. Do you still have your ex's friends or family members on speed dial?

- a) Yes, I talk to them regularly.

- b) I've kept them on my contact list, but we don’t talk.

- c) Only one or two close friends.

- d) No, I've moved on from that circle.

4. How often do you check your ex's social media profiles?

- a) Multiple times a day.

- b) A few times a week.

- c) Maybe once in a while out of curiosity.

- d) I've either blocked them or refrained from checking at all.

PAGE 18 | CHASING CLARITY

8. How do you feel when you think about your ex dating someone else?

- a) Extremely jealous and upset.

- b) A bit uneasy, but it’s their life.

- c) Indifferent, it doesn’t concern me.

- d) Happy for them, everyone deserves to find happiness.

Have You Moved on From Your Ex 9. Do you still keep mementos from your relationship with your ex?

- a) Yes, I have a dedicated space or box for them.

- b) A few things here and there.

- c) Only practical items or gifts.

- d) I've gotten rid of everything or returned them.

10. How do you feel about the idea of your ex moving away to another city?

- a) Devastated and wish they'd stay.

- b) A bit sad but it's their choice.

- c) Neutral, doesn't affect my life.

- d) It might be a good thing for both of us.

Scoring System: - For every 'a' answer, give yourself 1 point.

- For every 'b' answer, give yourself 2 points.

- For every 'c' answer, give yourself 3 points.

- For every 'd' answer, give yourself 4 points.

Results 10-20 points: You might still be holding on to some lingering feelings for your ex. It may be time to find closure or take some time to heal and reflect. During this process, it might be helpful to seek guidance from a mental health professional.

21-30 points: You're on the path to moving on, but some memories or feelings might still pop up from time to time. It's okay! Healing is a process; just be mindful to not stay there, and be intentional about moving forward.

31-40 points: You've made significant progress in getting over your ex.

You recognize the past but are ready and open for what the future holds!

Remember, everyone processes breakups differently and it's okay to be wherever you are in your journey. The important thing is to focus on self-growth and happiness.

PAGE 19 | CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

DON'T LET THE NEXT PAY FOR YOUR EX

BY JOANN “JOJO” VENANT

In the aftermath of a relationship's end, it's not uncommon to envision a fresh start, clear of the complications and painful memories of what was.

Yet, stepping into the future unburdened is seldom as simple as it sounds. Emotional baggage often has a sneaky way of traveling with us, potentially influencing new relationships in unforeseen ways.

Unpacking Emotional Baggage Emotional baggage is a collection of unresolved issues, hurtful memories, and lessons that we accumulate over time. In the realm of relationships, it can be anything from unresolved feelings and trust issues to the remnants of old habits or patterns.

Types of Baggage: Past Traumas: Past betrayals, deceptions, or painful memories.

Insecurities: Stemming from perceived failures or inadequacies in past relationships.

Lingering Affections: Unresolved feelings or a lack of closure from previous relationships.

PG. 20

The Impact of Baggage on New Relationships Entering a new relationship with unchecked emotional baggage is akin to setting off on a marathon with weights around your ankles—it's exhausting and impedes progress.

Trust Issues: Past betrayals may cast a shadow, making it challenging to trust anew.

Frequent Comparisons: Contrasting a new partner's words, actions, or behaviors against an ex's—often unfairly.

Hyper-Reactivity: Minor concerns might elicit heightened emotional responses if they resonate with past experiences.

Entering a new relationship with unchecked emotional baggage is akin to setting off on a marathon with weights around your ankles

PG. 21 Unburdening: Strategies to Shed the Weight The good news? Baggage needn't be a life sentence.

With introspection, action, and sometimes professional help, it's possible to lighten the load significantly.

Acknowledgment: Recognizing and admitting the presence of baggage is paramount. This selfawareness is the foundation upon which healing can be built.

Therapeutic Intervention: Counseling or therapy can offer guided exploration of emotional complexities, helping to resolve them.

Open Dialogue: Starting a new relationship on a foundation of honesty, by sharing past traumas and triggers, can foster mutual understanding.

Take It Slow: Healing isn't an overnight journey.

Avoid rushing into new commitments until you feel emotionally ready and grounded.

The Silver Lining: Lessons from the Past Every cloud has a silver lining, and in the context of emotional baggage, this takes the form of invaluable life lessons.

Self-Awareness: Reflecting on past mistakes provides insights into personal patterns, helping to avoid them in the future.

Communication Skills: Addressing baggage often necessitates difficult conversations, honing one's ability to communicate effectively.

Empathy Development: Personal experiences with emotional pain often deepen one's empathy, making one a more understanding partner.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Forging Ahead: Being Proactive Rather than waiting for baggage to surface, be proactive. This means continuously checking in with yourself, reassessing emotional health, and ensuring that past issues don't seep into new relationships.

Regular Self-reflection: Take time to understand your feelings, reactions, and triggers.

Maintain Individuality: Ensure you have personal space and activities to retain a sense of self, independent of the relationship.

Seek Feedback: Trusted friends and family can often provide an outside perspective on behavioral patterns.

Our past undoubtedly shapes us, but it doesn't have to define our future. By confronting, understanding, and addressing our baggage, we can chart a brighter, healthier path forward in love and life.

Relationships, at their core, are about growth, understanding, and mutual respect. By ensuring we don't let our past unduly influence our present, we lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and harmonious future with a new partner.

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VEGAN ZUPPA TOSCANA If I love you I have fed you! If you have ever had a JoJo-meal you know it’s one of my love languages and I will wait to see your reaction (insert laughter). One of the things I’ve learned from the world of relationships is that sometimes, the most intimate moments aren’t always the grand gestures but the simple acts of togetherness. Cooking together is not just about the meal you end up with, but the shared laughter, teamwork, and memories you create while getting there. So, I’m sharing one of my favorite recipes that’s perfect for couples to prepare together. This Vegan Zuppa Toscana isn't just nourishing for the body, but also for the heart and soul. Get ready

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

the most intimate moments aren’t always the grand gestures but the simple acts of togetherness Ingredients: - 1 tbsp olive oil - 1 medium onion, diced - 4 garlic cloves, minced - 3 large russet potatoes, sliced into bite-sized pieces - 4 cups vegetable broth - 2 cups unsweetened cashew milk (or your choice of plant-based milk)

to chop, stir, and sip some love

- 1 bunch kale, de-stemmed and torn into pieces

together! Happy cooking!

- 1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes, chopped - 1 pack vegan sausage, crumbled or sliced - Salt, pepper, and red chili flakes to taste

PAGE 24 | CHASING CLARITY

Instructions 1

TOGETHER

6

PARTNER 1

Begin by gathering all the ingredients and placing them on the

While the soup is coming to a boil, the first partner can de-

counter. Enjoy a moment to appreciate the fresh produce and

stem and tear the kale into pieces.

anticipate the delicious meal ahead.

2

PARTNER 1

While one person heats the olive oil in a large pot over medium

7

The other partner can work on chopping the sun-dried

heat, the other can dice the onion and mince the garlic.

3

TOGETHER Once the oil is shimmering, work together to sauté the onion and

PARTNER 2 tomatoes and prepping the vegan sausage.

8

TOGETHER Once the potatoes are tender, reduce the heat. Stir in the

garlic, stirring occasionally until translucent and aromatic.

kale, sun-dried tomatoes, and vegan sausage. Let the soup simmer until the kale is wilted and the sausage is heated through.

4

PARTNER 2 As the onion and garlic sauté, the other partner can slice the

9

SEASONING FUN This is a fun part for couples! Taste the soup and decide

potatoes.

together how much salt, pepper, and chili flakes to add. One can add the seasonings while the other stirs, ensuring the flavors meld perfectly.

5

TOGETHER Add the potato slices to the pot. Pour in the vegetable broth and cashew milk, stirring well. Let the mixture come to a boil.

10

SERVE & ENJOY Once satisfied with the seasoning, ladle the soup into bowls.

Share a toast to your teamwork and enjoy your culinary creation together!

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Note

For added fun, couples can switch roles for each step or find their own rhythm.

The key is to communicate, have fun, and cherish the shared experience.

PAGE 25 | CHASING CLARITY

HOW CLOSE IS TOO CLOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP? RECOGNIZING THE SIGNS OF CODEPENDENCY

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Intimacy, trust, and connection are the cornerstones of a strong relationship. However, there's a fine line between being close and becoming so intertwined that you lose your individuality. Welcome to the world of codependency. But what does it look like, and how can you recognize its subtle signs?

1. Putting Their Needs Before Yours, Always: Every time. It's as if your partner's desires, wants, or needs have overshadowed yours. You find yourself constantly sacrificing or sidelining what's essential for you.

2. Feeling Incomplete Without Them: If you constantly feel that you're not 'whole' without your partner by your side, it's a glaring red flag.

While companionship is lovely, deriving your entire sense of self-worth from someone else is not.

3. Chronic Fear of Abandonment: The mere thought of your partner leaving, even for legitimate reasons like work or personal space, triggers intense anxiety or fear.

4. Ignoring Personal Boundaries: You might find it hard to say 'no' or establish boundaries.

And if your partner is doing the same, this mutual boundary neglect becomes a dance of dysfunction.

PAGE 26 | CHASING CLARITY

BY NI’COLA WILSON 5. Feeling Responsible for Their Happiness: It's as if you're the sole custodian of your partner's emotions. You believe that it's your responsibility to keep them happy, even at the expense of your wellbeing.

6. Difficulty Making Decisions Without Them: Whether it's choosing a dinner place or making a significant life choice, you're paralyzed without their input or validation.

7. Neglecting Other Relationships: Remember those Friday movie nights with friends or Sunday brunches with family? If they're becoming a distant memory because you're overly engrossed in your relationship, it's time to reflect.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

8. Excusing Harmful Behavior: Whether it's emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even more severe forms of abuse, you find yourself rationalizing or excusing their behavior consistently.

9. A Shared Identity: While "we" is a beautiful pronoun in a relationship, if "I" is completely lost and all plans, dreams, or aspirations are framed as "we," you might be losing your individual identity.

10. Overwhelming Need for Reassurance: Seeking constant validation or assurance from your partner about their feelings, intentions, or plans can be a clear sign of codependent behavior.

While a certain level of dependency is natural in relationships, codependency can lead to an unhealthy balance where personal well-being and individual growth are stifled. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards establishing a healthier dynamic in your relationship. It's essential to remember that both partners in a relationship deserve to flourish, both as a unit and as individuals. If you see these signs, consider seeking guidance or counseling to navigate the intricacies of codependency and pave the path to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

IF YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL THAT YOU'RE NOT 'WHOLE' WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER BY YOUR SIDE, IT'S A GLARING RED FLAG Photo Credit: Shutterstock

PAGE 27 | CHASING CLARITY

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Photo Credit: Marvin Somoza Photography

PAGE 29| CHASING CLARITY

Shades of Gray:

Discovering the Layers of 'It's Complicated'

By Eugene Giddings An Image of Fog by Reese Marrow

In relationships, the term “It’s Complicated” often surfaces, reflecting a state of ambiguity and leaving many questions unanswered. It’s a dynamic where clear definitions are elusive, emotions are mixed, and intentions are unclear. The following is a guided exploration of such relationships, aiming to provide insights and clear some of the fog surrounding them.

We will delve into the nuanced aspects of undefined relationships, attempting to understand the subtle intricacies and the factors at play. Whether you are currently in an undefined relationship, have been in one, or simply wish to understand more about them, let's traverse this landscape together, uncovering insights and fostering a deeper understanding of the varied spectra of human connections.

Understanding the Undefined: What 'It’s Complicated' Truly Means ‘It’s Complicated’ often signifies a relationship that lacks definition. It’s a relationship caught between friendship, romance, ambiguity, and commitment. In this space, emotions run high, but intentions remain unclear; creating a whirlpool of hope, yet uncertainty. This label usually involves unexpressed feelings, unmet needs, and unresolved conflicts; leading to a reality where the relationship stays in constant limbo, and is never truly defined.

PAGE 30| CHASING CLARITY

Recognizing Ambiguity: Identifying Signs of a ‘Complicated’ Relationship Inconsistent Communication: Your interactions are irregular and sporadic, leaving you pondering your partner's thoughts and feelings.

Unclear Boundaries: The blurred lines between friendship and romance leave you in constant ambiguity.

Unresolved Tensions: Lingering disagreements or unaddressed concerns muddy the waters further, creating a perpetual state of unease.

Reasoning the Unreasonable: Why Choose Uncertainty in Relationships?

Despite the uncertainty, many choose to stay in a complicated relationship. But why? Usually, it’s the emotional connection, the shared experiences, and the intimate moments that make the ambiguity seem worthwhile. It’s the unspoken bond and shared dreams that make the unclear paths seem like an adventure waiting to be unraveled.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Many harbor the hope that the relationship, with time and effort, could evolve from being undefined to defined, from chaotic to harmonious. It’s the optimism that perhaps the vague could become clear, the silent could gain a voice, and the unstructured could gain structure.

Staying in such a relationship also requires self-awareness, open communication, and a balance between hope and reality. Navigating through ‘complicated’ is not just about seeking clarity but also about personal growth and maintaining one’s values and needs in the midst of uncertainty.

Despite the uncertainty, many choose to stay in a complicated relationship.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Achieving Transparency: Practical Steps to Define ‘Complicated’ Relationships 1. Open a Dialogue: Address your feelings and concerns openly and listen attentively to your partner’s perspective. Seek to understand and be understood.

2. Define Your Boundaries: Clearly express your needs, desires, and limits, and encourage your partner to do the same.

3. Seek Consensus: Aim to reach a mutual agreement on the status and expectations of the relationship.

4. Regular Check-ins: Establish regular conversations about the relationship's state and progress to ensure continuous alignment.

Embarking on a journey through undefined relational waters can be both challenging and enlightening.

It requires vulnerability, communication, and mutual respect. However, it’s crucial to remember that the ultimate goal is not to label but to understand, nurture, and possibly redefine the relationship. Embrace the learning process and cherish the growth it brings, as each step forward is a step towards relational harmony and self-discovery.

PAGE 31| CHASING CLARITY

JOJO’S PICKS

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

PAGE 32| CHASING CLARITY

Podcasts

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

On Purpose with Jay Shetty with Jay Shetty.

The Tabitha Brown Podcast with Tabitha Brown.

The ‘R’ Spot with Iyanla Vanzant In The Light Podcast with Dr. Anita Philips Made For This with Jennie Allen The Best of You Podcast with Dr. Allison Cook

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Books The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Philips The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Online Resources Psychology Today National Alliance on Mental Illness Suicide and Crisis Lifeline National Domestic Violence Hotline National Sexual Assault Hotline National Institute of Mental Health Veterans Crisis Line PAGE 33| CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

10

TIPS TO KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP ALIVE

BY JOANN ‘JOJO’ VENANT

I point the finger at every fairytale ever told. I blame it on the movies. I call out every feel-good rom-com that painted being in love as the ultimate life achievement. And oh, Disney, you're not off the hook! Each story, each movie, though embroiled in conflict initially, somehow magically wraps up with the picture-perfect ending. And what’s that ending always wrapped up in? Love! The immaculate, flawless love that we all supposedly need. These stories have ingrained in us the illusion that our wholeness and our ultimate happiness are tied to finding our ‘one true love.’

Want to know what no one talks about–all of the hard work that this ‘fairytale’ actually takes! What about the pivotal communication skills they never teach you in school? And what about the individual healing we all need before intertwining our lives with another? No one ever talks about the hard stuff. I’m talking about the difficult, nitty-gritty aspects of maintaining a relationship that seem to be left in the shadows. Let’s look a little deeper into what it really takes to keep the relationship going!

1) Flirt in the Open: Keep the PDA Alive - It should be common practice. It's not about those cringe-worthy, over-the-top displays that leave folks gasping. It's about a gentle squeeze of the hand, an unexpected peck, or even that knowing glance shared across a crowded room. How about a kiss on the cheek for no reason at all? How about a hug at a park after a stroll?

Such small moments of affection reaffirm your bond, showing the world the genuine connection you share.

Relationships need to keep that contact alive, and not just save it for the bedroom.

BY PRESERVING AND NURTURING YOUR UNIQUE SELF, YOU GIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP A GENUINE FLAVOR AND PROVIDE A TEMPLATE FOR MUTUAL RESPECT. Photo Credit: Shutterstock

PAGE 35| CHASING CLARITY

3) Stay True, Stay You! - Your individuality is your superpower. Before the duo, there was a single ‘you’ with dreams, aspirations, and quirks. Hold onto that. You were meant to come together and compliment each other, not complete each other. If you do not know how to prioritize yourself, how can you define or expect someone else to prioritize you? By preserving and nurturing your unique self, you give your relationship a genuine flavor and provide a template for mutual respect.

4) Learn to Fight Fair - Spoiler alert– Tempers rise, conversations can escalate, and trigger buttons can get pushed by our partners. It’s a part of life, and it happens.

But, it is key that you and your partner have to have a clear list of agreed-upon rules for what you will and will not do.

These rules need to be discussed in a calm, neutral environment, when tempers aren’t flared. Open communication and follow-through is so important here!

Some potential rules can be: not raising your voice, no curse words, no insults, no shutting down and walking away etc. Mind you–’no walking away’ can have exceptions. If you are too upset to continue in the discussion it is okay and even wise to end the talk. But you cannot end the conversation without setting up a followup time to re-engage in the topic when both parties have cooled down. You cannot leave your partner hanging. You need to reassure your partner that you want to re-engage but you need an hour, or 3 hours or 24 hours but you must set the time and stick to it (again, follow-through). By addressing issues constructively, you build resilience and understanding. It's not about winning an argument, but understanding each other's viewpoint.

PAGE 35| CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

2) Embrace Growth: Transform Together - Trust me when I tell you, you do not want the same relationship you had when you started. Relationships evolve; that's the natural order. Remember the butterflies and giddy smiles of the honeymoon phase? Beautiful, but it's the subsequent growth that adds depth. I get it–most of us are uncomfortable with change. Some even see it as a threat. But take a moment and think about what would happen if you embraced each change and challenge as opportunities, not threats?Expect your relationship to change. Expect your partner to change. I am not referring to change that threatens the core values and moral standards of the relationship. I am referencing change that reflects growth. Change is inevitable but growth is optional; I encourage you to choose growth. Couples who do not embrace and accept change are set up to be frustrated and disappointed when the ‘honey’ finally falls off the moon.

It's not about winning an argument, but understanding each other's viewpoint.

5) Laughter: Your Relationship Secret SauceLaughter is medicine to the soul! Laughter keeps us young. If everything you do or discuss is serious then the relationship temperature will be just that: serious. You have to be able to have a little fun. Find joy in the shared chuckles and silly moments. A belly laugh after a long day or an inside joke can be the glue that binds you. The bills will still be there if you laugh and if you frown, so why not try adding some humor in your relationship? So, binge watch those comedies, share that hilarious meme, and remember to sprinkle your days with laughter.

After all, shared laughter is a form of shared joy.

It's not about winning an argument, but understanding each other's viewpoint.

6) Master the Art of Compromise - I hate to break it to you... it is not always about what you want! A balanced relationship isn't about keeping score but finding harmony. You will have to give a little and you will be able to take a little. If the relationship is one sided with only one person making the sacrifices then the partner giving the most will eventually be fed up of not being seen or having their needs met. There will be times you lead, and times you follow. Navigating these moments with understanding and compromise strengthens your bond. While sacrifices are inevitable, remember they're investments into a shared future.

7) Celebrate the Differences - I see couples get so frustrated and hung up on their differences. You need to have common belief systems and a vision for the relationship. But you do not need to see the world the same, you do not need to process things the same, and you do not need to like the same things. You can enjoy different things as individuals and come together and enjoy things as a couple. If you have insecurities they are bound to come out in this area. If you see the differences as a threat, you might need to process this with a professional. You aren't clones, you are two people sharing your world together. Learn from each other, stay curious, and understand that differences can be complementary. Let these differences be the spices that flavor your shared journey.

8) Shower on the Praise - Gratitude is golden. If it is hard for you to express gratitude then you might need to do some internal work and ask yourself why it is so hard to share this much-needed expression with my partner.

Your partner will need to see and hear that you are grateful for who they are and what they do. Notice the little things. Notice what they are doing right rather than what they are doing wrong. We will always be able to come up with a list of what is lacking. There is a time and place for that. Celebrate your partner's achievements, both big and small. Focus on their strengths and let them know just how much they're cherished.

9) Lovers and Friends - Romance is vital, but friendship is foundational. I often tell couples that “your partner's need for you to be their friend must be a greater priority than your need to be right”. A true friendship has emotional safety. Sometimes you just need to be a sounding board and a companion. This requires investing quality time together and getting to know the deepest thoughts and feelings outside of physical intimacy and romance. This bond of friendship ensures you weather the storms together, anchored in mutual trust. It's this trust that makes your relationship truly special.

Photo Credit: Marvin Somoza Photography

10) Fortify Your Love: Know When to Seek Help - No relationship is without its bumps. When you hit one, consider seeking external guidance. Be it a mediator, therapist, or counselor, an external perspective can illuminate pathways you might have missed. Please don’t wait for your relationship to fall apart to seek help. Set yourself up for success. If your partner is not open to counseling, I'm sorry to tell you, but that is a major red flag. They might be avoiding something that they just do not want to bring to light and can't relinquish control enough to let someone guide them through changes they might need to face. Investing in professional help underscores your commitment to nurturing the bond you share. It is oh-so worth it.

If you found this article insightful and wish to explore more about building a robust relationship with oneself, join me at "The Clarity Hour." Let's reignite that flame and empower you to tackle life's challenges with a renewed sense of SELF.

PAGE 36| CHASING CLARITY

THE FIRST STEP OF THE JOURNEY STARTS WITH THE PURSUIT OF CLARITY -JOANN ‘JOJO’ VENANT erstock it: Shutt d re C Photo

PAGE 38| CHASING CLARITY

Breakup’s Silver Lining: Recognizing When You’re Ready to Shine

BY ALEJANDRA GUZMAN Let’s face it: breakups are tough. One moment you’re dreaming about the future, and the next, you're left sifting through the memories. But here's the silver lining: post-breakup life is a canvas waiting for your vibrant splash. So, when is it time to pick up that brush and start anew?

SWOOSH—YOU’VE SENT THE FINAL TEXT AND YOU’RE OFFICIALLY SINGLE. NOW WHAT!?

Breakups can feel like you've lost a piece of your narrative. It's essential to recognize and process these emotions.

Give yourself the room to grieve, vent, or simply reflect. Remember, every emotion you feel is valid.

Giving yourself the space and time to sit with them, and processing them is the first step towards healing.

PAGE 38| CHASING CLARITY

Think of healing as rejuvenating your spirit. It's deeply personal and doesn't conform to a strict timeline.

Interestingly, a study from the Journal of Positive Psychology suggests that around the 11-week mark, many start to embrace the brighter side post break-up[1]. But remember, healing is a journey, not a race. It's about finding your rhythm and moving at a pace that feels right for you.

around the 11-week mark, many start to embrace the brighter side post break-up

Cont.

Healing isn't an overnight journey.

Avoid rushing into new commitments until you feel emotionally ready and grounded.

Signs That You’re Ready to Move On

3 Strategies for Stepping Into Your New Chapter

Past Reflections: If the memories of your past relationship can be looked at without a sting, and you find yourself learning from the experiences rather than dwelling on them, you're on the right track.

Self-Reflection: Delve deeper into understanding what you seek in a relationship now. How have your experiences shaped your desires and boundaries?

Celebrating Solo: Have you started to value your own company, finding joy in solo adventures and self-reflection?

That's a positive sign of embracing your individuality.

Prioritize Self-Care: Reconnect with hobbies, passions, or activities you might have sidelined. Whether it's a dance class, a book club, or just regular meditation, find what centers you.

Openness with Boundaries: Feeling the desire to connect with new people, while also having a clear understanding of what you want from a future relationship, is a great indicator that you're ready to dip your toes back in the dating pool.

Tread with Clarity: When you venture back into the world of dating, do so with clarity. Understand your worth, be clear on your boundaries, and ensure that any future relationship aligns with your life's aspirations.

Starting over post-breakup is less about forgetting and more about channeling your experiences into a renewed sense of self.

It's about understanding that while relationships add to our life, our essence and worth are intrinsic.

In the grand story of life, breakups are but a chapter. And while they may feel overwhelming, they often lead to profound personal growth and new beginnings. So, here’s to fresh starts, self-discovery, and the exciting journey ahead. The world is waiting, and so is the next beautiful chapter of your story.

PAGE 39| CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Marvin Somoza Photography

Counseling Focus Areas Codependency | Healing relationships | Dating and breakups Body image and Self-esteem | ACOA | Anxiety | Depression Postpartum depression | Pre/post bariatric surgeries |Life transitions "I was so broken after my breakup. I had given my youth and the best of me to a person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Joann didn't just help me find myself again; she helped me find a better version of myself. I didn't realize all the baggage I was carrying from my childhood and how this breakup highlighted all my past trauma. I don't know what I would have done without her expertise, guidance, and compassion. I felt so understood, and I came out the other side stronger!"

- Yasmin

Let’s Connect

“When I found Joann, I was dealing with a lot of family 'drama.' I was always caught in the middle, and I didn't understand the role I played in my own family dysfunction. After several sessions of processing and uncovering my unhealthy patterns, I finally moved past the stage of denial. I confronted my own triggers and negative patterns and belief systems. I feel like I will be a better husband and father when the time comes because of all the work I have done in therapy. I recommend counseling to anyone, even if you are on the fence. It has changed my life."

-Tim

Phone (407) 494-1705

theclarityhour.net

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FINDING FOREVER DISTINGUISHING MR. RIGHT NOW FROM MR. RIGHT The realm of love is filled with captivating detours and meaningful destinations. As you traverse this emotional landscape, understanding the defining traits of fleeting encounters versus lasting bonds becomes crucial.

By Lunaria Danielle

5 Signs You’re With Mr. Right Now: 1. Ephemeral Excitement: With Mr. Right Now, there's an immediate, almost electric, connection. It's the kind of relationship that feels like a whirlwind, thrilling but perhaps lacking in lasting depth. The passion is undeniable, but is it sustainable?

2. Prioritizes the Present: This man lives for today.

While there's beauty in living in the moment, he might not give much thought to what lies ahead, making decisions that prioritize immediate gratification over long-term benefits.

Photo Credit: pexels.com

3. Surface-Level Connections: Your chats are lively, often filled with laughter and shared anecdotes, but rarely touch the soul or the deeper intricacies of life.

While fun, you sometimes crave conversations with more substance.

4. Reluctance to Commit: He's the king of the here and now, enjoying your company but skirting around conversations of long-term plans or deeper commitments. You might find him changing the topic when discussions steer towards the future.

5. Avoids Difficult Conversations: When faced with challenges or tough topics, Mr. Right Now might prefer to sweep them under the rug, choosing a fleeting peace over addressing underlying issues.

PAGE 42| CHASING CLARITY

Photo Credit: Romona Gray Photography

When faced with challenges or tough topics, Mr. Right Now might prefer to sweep them under the rug, choosing a fleeting peace over addressing underlying issues.

Photo Credit: pexels.com

Signs You May Have Mr. Right: 1. Future-Oriented: He dreams with you, weaving tales of the future that intertwine both your aspirations. Talks about next week seamlessly lead to discussions about the next decade, showcasing his commitment to a shared journey.

4. Tackles Challenges Head-On: Challenges, to him, are opportunities to strengthen the bond. He believes in open communication, ensuring conflicts are addressed and both partners feel valued and understood.

2. Rich, Meaningful Conversations: Your dialogues meander through shared hobbies to complex life philosophies.

With him, you find a safe space to voice your deepest fears, joys, and dreams, knowing they will be received with understanding.

Navigating the realms of love requires intuition, understanding, and self-awareness. Recognizing these traits can guide you as you discern between a fleeting connection and a lasting bond.

After all, the journey to finding your Mr. Forever is paved with many Mr. Right Nows, each teaching us valuable lessons about love, life, and ourselves.

3.

Steadfast Commitment: His intentions are crystal clear. With every gesture, word, and action, he underscores his dedication to the relationship, making efforts that go beyond mere words, truly embodying the spirit of partnership.

PAGE 43| CHASING CLARITY

Chasing Clarity

BIBLIOGRAPHY

This bibliography comprises a collection of vital references that have significantly informed the articles in this publication. We extend our appreciation to the authors and organizations for their insightful contributions, which have been pivotal in enhancing the depth and richness of the content shared.

--YouxBespoke Publications Team

Ready,

Breakup’s Silver Lining: Recognizing

Set,

Whoa!

Understanding

and

Addressing Relationship Red Flags

When You’re Ready to Shine

by Dr. Ezra Issacson

By Alejandra Guzman

- Joel, S., Impett, E. A., Spielmann, S. S., & MacDonald, G. (2018). How interdependent

- "Post-Breakup Recovery and Personal

are stay/leave decisions?

Growth," Journal of Positive Psychology,

- On staying in the relationship for the sake

2016.

of the romantic partner. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(4), 499-519.

- Proulx, C. M., Helms, H. M., & Buehler, C. (2007). Marital quality and personal wellbeing: A meta-analysis. Journal of Marriage and

Family,

69(3),

576-593.

National

Institutes of Health.

Chapter of Love - Whitbourne, Susan K., Ph.D. (2017). The Emotional

Intelligence

in

Relationships. Psychology Today -

American

- Psychology Today. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us) - National Alliance on Mental Illness.

- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. (https://988lifeline.org/) - National Domestic Violence Hotline.

By Natasha Bordeaux of

Growth and Well-being

(https://www.nami.org/Home)

Evolving Together: Embracing Each New

Role

JoJo's Picks: 25 Resources for Personal

Psychological

Association

(https://www.thehotline.org/) - National Sexual Assault Hotline. (https://www.rainn.org/) - National Institute of Mental Health.

(2019). Stress in America: The Impact of

(https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-

Stress on Relationships.

help)

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(2021). The Importance of Mutual Growth

- Veterans Crisis Line. (https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/)

and Adaptation in Relationships.

- University of Georgia (2020). Adaptability

All photos of Joann were taken and

in Relationships.

edited by Marvin Somoza Photography

Acknowledgements

On behalf of the YouxBespoke Publications team, we're profoundly grateful to every individual who contributed to this endeavor. Your expertise, dedication, and insights have made this work truly unparalleled. Here's to continued collaboration and shared successes in the future.

--YouxBespoke Publications Team First and foremost, I am profoundly grateful to God for guiding me and always being with me. From the young age of 15, He placed a calling on my heart to aid the broken soul. He gave the vision, and I've been following His lead ever since. A heartfelt thank you to one of my dearest friends, Briana Sisson. Embarking on this new business venture wouldn't have been the same without her by my side every step of the way. From countless hours of mentorship to unwavering support, she has been my rock. If you've ever been fortunate to find a once-in-a-lifetime kindred spirit, then you'll understand what Briana means to me.

I'm deeply grateful for my husband, JR. His steadfast support has been a cornerstone in every endeavor I’ve pursued. Not only is he my loudest cheerleader, but he's also the best life companion I could ever ask for.

A special shoutout to Marvin Somoza of Somoza Photography. His belief in my vision, his coined phrase about "building the JoJo-Empire", and his unmatched photography skills have been instrumental. More than just a talented photographer, he's a cherished friend.

Kudos to my talented friend and hairstylist, Rebekah Preston. If you ever want to witness magic with a color paintbrush, she's the one! And don’t forget to check her out for a 10% discount when you mention this publication. Rebekah never fails to make me look and feel fabulous!

Endless thanks to my parents and family. Their love and encouragement are the fuel that drives me daily.

To all my friends who've been part of this journey – from shaping my brand's aesthetics like the logo and color palettes, to posing as "client" models for photoshoots (a big thanks to Jio!), or simply being a sounding board – my gratitude is immeasurable. I love each and every one of you!

THANK YOU!