Recognized in Spring 2012, YOURMAG ’s goal is to promote knowledge of the magazine industry by giving students the opportunity to be responsible for all aspects of a monthly lifestyle publication. With an audience of urban college students in mind, members create content across a broad range of topics and mediums, including style, romance, music, pop culture, personal identity, and experiences. YourMag’s overarching aim is to foster a positive, inclusive community of writers, editors, and artists.
volume 20 | issue 3 | december 2023
ISA LUZARRAGA
Managing Editor
LILY BROWN
Creative Director
EMMA CAHILL
Editorial Director
TALIA VYADRO
Asst. Editorial Director
ISABELLE GALGANO
Asst. Editorial Director
BIANCA LUND
Co-Head Stylist
JULIA MAGDZIAK
Co-Head Stylist
ANNA BACAL PETERSON
Co-Head Stylist
FIONA MCMAHON
Co-YMTV Director
SOFIA VERANI
Co-YMTV Director
ASHLEY FERRER
Co-Editor-in-Chief
HAILEY KROLL
Head Designer
MOLLY DEHAVEN
Asst. Head Designer
ALEKS CARNEY
Co-Art Director
REBECCA CALVAR
Co-Art Director
GRIFFIN WILLNER
Romance Editor
Lauren smith Living Editor
SOPHIA ROSSETTI
Web Editor
CHARLOTTE BRANDMAN
Asst. Web Editor
SEBASTIAN OLIVO
Co-YMTV Director
CAMRYN CIANCIA
Co-Editor-in-Chief
NIRVANA RAGLAND
Diversity Chair
JENNIfer NOVO
Photo Director
rachel tarby
Copy Chief
SOPHIE BOYCE
Asst. Copy Chief
SARA FERGANG
Head Proofreader
gigi sipiora
Style Editor
ARUSHI JACOB
A&E Editor
ELLIE BELCASTRO
Co-Social Media Director
GABBY GOODE
Co-Social Media Director
Copy editors: sophie hartstein, izzy sorce, aylin isik, gianni laurent, eden unger, nolan primavera, alma falcon, lynn vecchietti, sabrina lam, sofia mendes, virginia clarke, alexander vassILOPOULOS, alexandra dening, emmy mulvena
GRAPHIC designERS: isa luzarraga, lauren mallett, isabella chiu, chiara marini
3 is company... that is more than welcome thank YOU for being a friend
ASK YM: sex advice
&RUN
flashbacks from my bob how to spot a final girl did you remember your subway shirt?
street style DRESS UP
EVERYONE IS TALENTED BUT ME THE PARADOX OF INFORMATION CONSUMPTION
WAIT FOR IT
YOUR MOMENTS
MIKE TEEVEE
BURSTING YOUR PARASOCIAL BUBBLE MORE THAN THE MUSIC
YOUR NEW FAVORITE REALITY SHOW THE INTIMACY OF SOUND ENGINEERING ASTROLOGICAL ENTERTAINMENT
SNOW ANGELS
YOURMAG DNA
Letters from the Editors
WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
WRITTEN BY LIZ FARIAS
ART BY CHRISTINA CASPER
When it comes to a blossoming romance, an astrological chart has always been my key to being delusional. “What time and place were you born at?” I ask, with a twinkle in my eye, hoping to uncover the cosmic secrets of compatibility. “No, I don’t want your social security number; I’m not crazy. I’m just a frm believer that each and every one of our holistic identities is written in the stars.” Actually, maybe I don’t believe in that either, but it’s fun to pretend.
Love is complex. With emotion straddling illusion and reality, it often begins with idealized images of our partners. Much like consulting a birth chart, we romanticize elements of people before we truly get to know them.
Astrological charts are fun, entertaining, and self-refective guides into compatibility and what we like. While they’re not scientifcally backed, and maybe all the Cancers I’ve dated really were just coincidences, I can’t help but feel that there’s something more to it. Reading a birth chart is like test-driving a person, and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t need to hook up with another water sign.
Clarifying some misconceptions: astrology is more than just sun signs, and no two charts are identical due to the numerical precision of astrology. Also, zodiac rivalries don’t exist. Bestselling astrologist author Colin Bedell writes, “Every sign is compatible with every sign.” Each chart pairing just details specifc issues that are likely to be faced, but astrological insight can be used to overcome those tensions.
Although my knowledge is fairly basic compared to the entire feld, I use astrology in many facets of my life. Whenever I get googly eyes for a new target, I fnd out their birthday ASAP. Thankfully, those I’m drawn to aren’t as astrology-obsessed as I am, so they don’t quite grasp the power of the birth chart. Stay safe; I’m never telling a cute stranger when and where I was born or my social security number.
Beyond the big three, my favorite planets to analyze are Venus and Mars. In astrology, Venus represents love, relationships, and beauty. I’m both an Aries Sun and Venus, making me direct and eager to make the frst move. The huge firt allegations are true, but when someone is interested in me, I typically disengage. Entering a relationship can be challenging for me, but leaving is even harder. I dated a Gemini Venus once, and they were initially intense but later displayed a split attention. Gemini Venuses thrive on mental stimulation and exploring diverse connections, making it a challenge to keep them engaged. This chase was fun for me, but stressed me out overtime. While neither placement is superior, our preferences were better matched outside that relationship.
When asked about her zodiac views, Emerson student Hailey Bochette ‘24 said she didn’t care much for it. She knew her chart was Scorpio heavy, but that wasn’t a considerable factor in selecting who she dated. Meanwhile, she beamed up at the next question, “Have you found any patterns in the zodiac signs you’re typically attracted to?” For some unknown reason, Sagittariuses hold her captive. Scorpios and Sagittarians are neighboring signs, an inconjunct match. These two signs have little in common with one another, but as they accom-
modate each other’s identities, a deep-seated loyalty grows. Sometimes opposites attract!
For me, my Achilles heel is always the Cancer Suns/Gemini Moons. Sparks fy when I meet them, and the conversation fows so well, but then they get friend zoned. Last year, I liked a guy with a chart too similar to one of my best friends, so I ditched those feelings immediately before they could get to a real point.
Emerson student Haydn Kelley ‘26 tells me, “Even if they liked my sign, I would never want to be with someone who used that as a way to judge people.” That’s an easy take to get behind, but the way I see it is that I’m navigating my romantic interests more consciously. If someone’s birth chart turned me of, there were probably bigger foundational issues.
Just as fun to analyze, but for more physical purposes, are the Mars placements. They reveal a person’s energy, drive, assertiveness, and sexual desires. I’ve always grappled with this planet because I’m a Taurus Mars. Contrary to the rest of my fre-dominant chart, this is the only Earth placement holding me down, suggesting that the slow and tactile aspects of sex are really important to me. Taurus Marses are particularly drawn to material comforts like silk sheets, scented candles, and fne dining to get them going. They also prefer deep, intimate, and loyal connections. Each Mars placement has its own preferences, and it’s really fun to look into. Before I learned about my Taurus Mars, I was with partners who would jackrabbit their way through the bedroom, and I used to wish I was more like them. After all, I am an Aries, so I thought I would be.
My favorite part about Mars is that each sign has a most sensual body part that they correlate to. From astrologyzone.com, here is what each sign rules:
Aries - Head and eyes
Taurus - Neck and throat
Gemini - Hands, arms, lungs
Cancer - Breasts, stomach, gallbladder
Leo - Heart, back, spine
Virgo - Intestines, abdomen, spleen
Libra - Lower back, kidneys
Scorpio - Genitals
Sagittarius - Hips and thighs
Capricorn - Knees, bones, skin, teeth
Aquarius - Calves and veins
Pisces - Feet
Knowing your partner’s dominant sign can add excitement to your intimacy- just remember to seek consent before tickling someone’s gallbladder.
At the end of the day, astrology isn’t a pragmatic rulebook to dictate your life’s choices. But it ofers a playful and reassuring way to navigate the often awkward terrain of love and intimacy, making these experiences feel less daunting. Next time it’s 2 a.m. and you’re stuck staring at your ceiling and thinking of that special someone, try some cosmic world-building. It’s fun, delusional, and awfully comforting. YM
A is for Abstinent
WRITTEN BY VARA GIANNAKOPOULOS
I’m abstinent. A rare fnding at Emerson College, an institution with a reputation for being so sexual, its motto is: “Gay by May or Transfer.” Of course, the motto mainly refers to the large queer population at Emerson, but it’s also rooted in the prevalent hookup culture. Many people practice abstinence for a multitude of reasons, mine being rooted in sexual trauma, trust issues, and continually questioning my orientation.
Sex and I have a complicated past. It’s like when your friends beg you to go with them somewhere, telling you it’ll be a great time and you’ll realize how much fun it is once you’re there, so you cave in and go. Once you get there, you realize they lied; it’s not fun, but you think, Maybe it’ll get better if I stay a bit longer, so you do, and fnd yourself thinking, Damn, my mouth is dry, I wish I could just teleport myself out of this situation. Maybe the dry mouth part didn’t translate well for the simile, but you understand my meaning. Even during the times you excitedly initiate it, it still just isn’t right. Sex isn’t for everyone, and the pressure to conform to a society that puts so much emphasis on having all the sex all the time can leave anyone, regardless of how active they are, confused even if they’re doing what’s best for them.
I’ve gone through just about every sort of dating, not dating, having sex, not having sex phase or combo one can. When I decided not to have sex again for the foreseeable future, I thought that meant dating as well. I couldn’t rationalize how someone would want to seriously date me with no possibility of sex. I spent a saddeningly long amount of time thinking this and avoiding the romantic connections I desperately craved, depriving myself of possibilities. I decided when I came to Emerson, I’d put myself out there and go on dates. I fgured the best way for me, someone incapable of real-life interactions, to get people to agree to go out would be through Tinder and Hinge.
My frst dates consisted of walking around the Common for three hours, struggling to make conversation, or getting late-night sushi at Genki Ya, awkwardly waiting to answer their questions as I chew as fast as I can. Eventually, I got into a situationship that lasted a few months and things were looking good. I had set many boundaries concerning sex, mostly just consisting of steamy makeout sessions unless we were ofcially dating. But in an age of long-term, longdistance, low-commitment casual partners (Shoutout Barbie), he did not want a relationship. We ended our situationship, and I spent the rest
of the school year casually dating. At the end of the spring semester, the “situationship man” asked me to go on a walk and talk in the Common; this ended with him saying his biggest regret was not dating me and how he’s spent the remainder of the year wishing he had done everything diferently. I felt so powerful after hearing that, but it was about to be summer, and I was starting a gap year, so nothing ensued.
With the good comes the bad, and there have been some not-great dating experiences at Emerson as well. Cue the time I had a stalker who would wait for me outside my dorm at 1 a.m. or when, quite recently, I had a crush on someone in my class, and when we went on our frst date, I set boundaries regarding sex, but he didn’t care so we had sex anyways. Silly little me things! Although I use humor to cope, these are very serious situations that I am dealing with assiduously. I specifcally set out not to make this about my assaults, but I would feel remiss not to mention them, as they do play a part in my dating experiences at Emerson.
My dating life is shaving even though there’s no possibility of them even seeing my legs. My dating life is scrolling through dating apps, looking for someone who seems like they wouldn’t be upset by not having sex on the frst date. My dating life is always having an exit strategy if they don’t take my setting of boundaries well. My dating life is solemnly watching all my friends fow in and out of their romantically fulflling relationships, as I stand in the background of their memories, frozen in time because nothing ever happens to me.
Sometimes I feel like a fraud, always giving relationship advice to friends when I have no relationship to relate to. I tell myself it’s fne because it allows me to be more rational and objective, which can be very benefcial in highly emotive situations, but it’s a Bandaid. I’ve started to notice more and more of these Band-aids as I get older––things I’ve written of to never have to come to terms with, the real possibility of there being something seriously wrong with me. My abstinence from sex is a band-aid; it’s not something I necessarily plan on doing forever, but it gives me the time to heal and grow until I’m ready to make the decision to take it of.
While my problems may be diferent than others, everyone has dating struggles, and that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date tonight, and I need to get ready. YM
PHOTOGRAPHED BY NATALIA OPRZADEK
3 is company... that is more than welcome
WRITTEN
BY
BROOKE HARRISON
Like many people, I have fantasies. A good one can take over your brain for hours, thinking of the possibilities of that alternate reality. I was lucky enough to have my biggest sexual fantasy come true very recently: I fnally had a threesome with two guys.
Now I know a million questions must be going through your head. How did you guys meet? Who initiated it? How was it? Was everyone involved with one another; or did two people focus on one person? And I’m sure there’s plenty more, but I’ll answer those frst.
These two guys, who I will keep anonymous as Person A and Person B, matched with me on their joint dating profle. We talked for a little bit on the app, then I proposed that we make a group chat between the three of us. We talked about sexual limits and interests, and it’s safe to say we were all pretty compatible together.
We decided to meet the next night, and honestly, I had very little nerves for someone who was about to have a threesome with two random guys. I was right to not be worried; they were so sweet and considerate the whole time. They asked if I wanted it to happen at their place or mine. Once we decided it would take place at theirs, they walked me from the train station to their place.
On our walk, we transitioned from small talk to being somewhat comfortable with one another by the time we were in their dorm. We all sat on one of their beds, then I kissed Person B, and it took of from there. They only pleasured me, not each other, but these were defnitely men that got of on seeing a woman being pleasured. I say this because no matter who was pleasuring me directly, or who I was pleasuring directly, they were watching what the other was doing to me; I know it turned them on as much as it did me (I could feel it too). It also wasn’t like they were using me as an object to fulfll their desire––they actually saw me and wanted me to feel seen the entire time. They constantly checked in to make sure I wasn’t feeling too overwhelmed, and sometimes we would even take breaks where they would get me ice water and we would just sit, talk, and laugh. Then, we would continue with minimal awkwardness. It just felt so right to be doing this all together. And before anyone asks, there was no double-penetration (I have no anal experience and no way was this gonna be my introduction to that).
I have to say this was genuinely one of the most fulflling and compassionate sexual experiences I’ve ever had (trust me, I’ve done the grunt work y’all). These two guys made me feel comfortable at every point and prioritized my pleasure in a way that I had never witnessed before. They could tell how worn out I was after the many rounds,
PHOTOGRAPHED BY COCO
LAROCHELLE
so they cuddled me, got me more water, and we sat and talked for around four hours afterward laughing, getting to know one another, and debriefng about what we just did. These men fully understood what aftercare meant, and I don’t think I’ve ever walked away from a sexual experience feeling so confdent in myself and that the sex I had was great for me. Sometimes there are comments from men I’ve been with or actions they would do before, after, or during the sex that would ick me out and I knew on the ride home I would tell my roommates later. I had none of that after this experience. I rode in the Uber they paid for in complete bliss and excitement to share what had just happened to me.
This experience also expanded my view of being with multiple sexual partners at the same time. I had one threesome prior, but it’s safe to say that the rushed adolescent moment didn’t hold a candle to what I just took part in. I started thinking about my view on sex and relationships after this experience. I have always liked the idea of open relationships, but my idea of an open relationship is having one main partner, and having the other people only be meaningless onenight stands. I had never truly toyed with the idea of a polyamorous relationship or having multiple main partners, but after my experience with these two guys, I started to like the sound of it.
When two people, no matter the gender, are that focused on your pleasure alone, it makes you feel like you are being worshiped (biggest ego infation ever: successful threesome). It gave me this insane craving for more and so many questions swirled in my head afterward. Could two hands feel like enough on my body now that I had experienced what four was like? Would having sex with one person now feel boring? Are they going to be what I compare all men to now?
This is not to say that I think I can only have a threesome or more now, but it altered the way I see my sexual fulfllment. I have new expectations of future partners—those men made them sky high. This situation, oddly enough, made me value myself more. Everyone should be engaging in sex with a partner or partners that fully take care of them and get to know them the way these two did with me. I honestly didn’t see how bad some of my past hookups were until I had sex with these two.
What might seem like an impulsive, potentially dangerous decision to be with two men I had never met showed me a new path for myself and for the future sex I have and for that, I will always be thankful for them. YM
thank YOU for being a Friend
WRITTEN BY LILY BROWN
Are you familiar with the feeling of constantly landing in the friend zone no matter how hard you try to dive into the depths of romance? If so, you’re not alone. However, in my journey through the maze of love, I’ve discovered that sometimes being in the friend zone isn’t such a bad thing. It might be better to embrace it. In fact, it’s a place where connections can fourish in the most unexpected ways.
Friend zones are a place where connections start to take root, but instead of blossoming into full-blown romances, they remain comfortably within the boundaries of friendship. This can be absolutely frustrating, especially when it feels like you’re repeating the same pattern with every potential partner.
There’s a stigma that follows that concept of friend zoning in relationships. Movies and television shows always make fun of friend zones, making them seem wrong in every way possible. More so, the idea is often portrayed as a source of frustration and disappointment, which can lead to the belief that it’s something to be avoided at all costs.
This is how I felt when pursuing anything. While I’ve never experienced a long-term romantic relationship, I’m confdent that when the right person enters my life, the experience will be just as incredible as it is for others. I’ve dabbled in a few short-lived situationships and had a couple of casual dates here and there, but nothing ever aligned with my fercely independent personality or long-term goals. But recently, I’ve come to terms with the idea that perhaps friend zoning might be the right move to steer both myself and others in the right direction.
One reason why we may fnd ourselves perpetually in the friend zone is the unconscious habit of downplaying romantic interest. You might be unintentionally friend zoning someone right from the start. I’ve personally done that more times than I’d like to admit and view these connections as purely friendly and nothing beyond that. This tendency can stem from fear, past experiences, or a desire to avoid the complexities of long-term relationships. And that’s totally fair! I think the “friends-to-lovers” trope is super alluring thanks to BookTok.
Another reason might be not realizing a partner is interested in something more. It took me a whole two years to discover that a guy
BY ALEKS CARNEY
I thought was a good friend wanted something more. Sometimes, it’s easy to miss signs or misinterpret a close friend’s feelings. With that guy, I can’t help but wonder about the hidden meanings, missed opportunities, and unspoken desires in the moments we shared. Even if I never get the closure I desire, it’s important to appreciate the good times we had. Those nights that made me smile and our genuine conversations were a beautiful part of our relationship. They were authentic connections to cherish, reminding me that life ofers valuable experiences, even when they don’t follow our initial expectations.
The fnal aspect of the friend-zoning phenomenon is the realization that you consciously might not be ready for a long-term relationship. I feel like much of Gen Z constantly feels pressured to partake in hookup culture or the latter long-term relationship, making it so black and white. However, it shouldn’t be like that at all. There’s so much gray area when it comes to love, so it’s essential to acknowledge where you are in your life and what you genuinely desire from a romantic connection. Friend zoning can be a way of prioritizing personal growth and self-discovery.
Instead of perceiving the friend zone as a barrier, recognize it as a realm where genuine connections can truly ignite. It might ofer brief enjoyment that proves advantageous for both individuals involved. Friends with benefts, or even just friends, can ofer companionship, emotional support, and chances for personal development. Occasionally, easing the strain on the relationship can lead to unforeseen and exquisite results.
Navigating the friend zone in your love life can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that it’s okay. In the end, it’s about learning and growing from each encounter, whether or not it leads to the destination we once envisioned. Embrace the idea that not every connection needs to follow a predetermined path to romance.
By being conscious of your own desires and open to possibilities, you can fnd meaningful connections that bring joy and fulfllment to your life, whether they stay in the friend zone or evolve into something more. So, don’t be afraid to embrace the friend zone — it might just be where your next great love story begins. YM
ART
ASK YM:
SEX ADVICE
Sex & relationship advice from our Romance Editor based on anonymous questions submitted to a Google Form
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
I want to remind readers that I am not a licensed practicing professional in regards to advice, sexuality, or psychological analysis. Nothing I say should be taken as fact, rather as advice from a peer. Sex and romance can be awkward topics of discussion, but it helps to talk about it with people of the same age. In answering these questions, I hope to open up the conversation of sexuality and help to destigmatize wanting to know more. The more we know, the more prepared we can be to be intimate.
Stay curious, and remember that sex and love are diferent for everyone!
Love always, Grifn Willner
PHOTOGRAPHED BY LUCIA JOHNSON
Q: Is makeup sex valid? (Is it valid to accept an apology just because you fucked and don’t feel angry anymore?)
A: While sex is a beautiful and valid way to get to know a partner and to connect in an intimate way, sex is also entirely vulnerable. When being intimate in this way with a person, it is healthier to be emotionally honest so that both parties feel comfortable. Makeup sex is stereotyped to be very intense, but it may serve as a form of avoidance or distraction, and it cannot solve a problem entirely. I recommend having an honest conversation with your partner before resuming sexual intimacy. Regardless, it is entirely a personal decision.
Q: Is it weird to refuse sex (especially without a condom) if someone hasn’t gotten tested after their last partner?
A: Friends! There is no circumstance where a person should not be able to refuse sex! Consent is extremely important and can be retracted at any point. If you do not feel comfortable with a certain aspect of the situation, such as a partner refusing to wear a condom or if they refuse to get tested, you are totally valid to withdraw your consent and say no. Boundaries are everything in sex. Additionally, it is recommended by the CDC that a person tests for STIs at least once a year, and Planned Parenthood suggests that conversations about testing and STI status should be engaged before having sex.
Q: Why do men suck at communicating their feelings in relationships?
A: While I believe that it can be harmful to stereotype the behaviors of sexes as gender expression is a fuid construct, there is evidence to suggest why men generally have a harder time discussing their feelings. People of all identities on the spectrum of gender experience emotions, but in regards to sex, men have been perceived to have trouble expressing how they are feeling likely as a result of higher levels of certain hormones like testosterone as well as diferences in brain functions to women. Without getting too complicated, socially, men and masculinepresenting individuals have an expectation in society to be perceived as “masculine” in regards to society's view—strength and stoicity. These expectations are placed on men from a young age. Regardless, when a person has trouble opening up with a partner, I believe that it can be encouraged without pushing. Be honest about what you are feeling and invite your partner to feel safe enough to follow suit. If they cannot, let your partner experience the trust necessary to open up in their own time.
Q: Is doggy supposed to hurt?
A: Generally, no form of sex should be so painful that a person cannot enjoy themselves. At the end of the day, sex should be pleasurable! While some people enjoy pain in the bedroom, it shouldn’t be taking away from the enjoyment. If something is hurting or if you feel too much discomfort, always advocate for yourself. If doggy style is not working for you, I suggest trying another position that is equally comfortable for you and your partner. If you would really like to fnd a way to make doggy work, try using lube to keep the movements smooth!
Q: Have you ever had experiences of being ghosted or blocked after hookups with people from Grindr or other apps, and if so, how have you dealt with it?
A: Being ghosted or blocked can feel very shameful. It is easy to blame yourself in these situations—“Am I ugly? Am I too tall? Is my body weird?” While these reactions are warranted, it’s best not to take it personally! In these moments, it is best to remind yourself that you are beautiful and deserving of love or sex in a healthy form. If a person blocks you, they are not meant for you. Everyone deserves a person who chooses to engage with them. Allow yourself to feel the pain of rejection, and move on with the attitude that you are deserving of someone far better. Don’t let yourself spiral, and remember to love yourself!
Q: What are some ways to ease into your frst time?
A: When you are having sex for the frst time, it is important to openly discuss boundaries and what consent means to you. As you begin, go at a pace that feels just right. Many people begin by engaging in kissing as well as outercourse or sexual activity that does not require penetration. Furthermore, share with your partner what feels good and what does not. Ask for permission before touching a person and ask where they would like to be touched. If something does not feel right, trust yourself and let your partner know. In some cases specifcally for AFABs, penetrative sex might feel painful at frst. If this is the case, do not force yourself to continue if the pain is unbearable. If you continue to feel comfortable and heard, enjoy yourself! A frst time sexual encounter will never be perfect, so just try to let yourself have fun and laugh at what feels awkward!
& R U
Flashbacks From My Bob
WRITTEN BY KIRA SALTER-GURAU
Everyone got a bob this summer. My coworker got a bob, my favorite customer got a bob, my mail person got a bob, hell, I got a bob! I feel like I’m in a fuzzy ad from the ‘90s on Disney Channel, turning to the camera in my acid-washed denim and thick purple hoops telling everyone to “get a bob” during the commercial break of Boy Meets World. Like a mom on some crazy kind of diet, I’ve been blurting out how “fantastic I feel” all the time. I can’t even remember who I was before this!
I was me, in May, starting a new medication, moving out of my childhood home, and coming out of a situationship that I invested too much of my energy into. My hair was long, falling down my back in ringlets. The layers had grown out and the weight of it was heavy and hot. My Pinterest boards were flled with models and people with curly bobs; the smiles on their faces convinced me that their hair was the root of their happiness. I needed a chop. This bob represented more than a new hairstyle, it represented a change of pace.
The last time I had my hair this short, I was 12. It was a time in my life where I was so unaware of myself that everything felt like a blur. I don’t think my personality had developed yet. When I see old videos of myself, I can feel the discomfort: feverishly tucking my frizzy hair behind my ears, my eyes darting around, and my posture curved.
Flash-forward to this June.
I slid my hand up the back of my neck, the leftover snippings coat it like fur. My barber, a friend of 10 years and the person singing along to her disco playlist, cleans her scissors in the kitchen sink. I step over the mounds of curly hair littering the foor and creep toward the bathroom as if I’m Dracula, darting in between the windows and refective surfaces. I enter the bathroom and squeeze my eyes shut, terrifed at what I’m going to see in the mirror. I open my eyes and my head starts to throb.
I fnger the curls that frame my face, the face of a girl I haven’t
PHOTOGRAPHED BY
SASHA WINETT
seen in years. I’m afraid of what I see. I feel like I’m falling backward. Eight inches gone. If only glue could fx regret.
The person I see in front of me is a version of myself I wanna leave in my seventh grade classroom, hoisting up jeggings and pulling down her crewneck to cover her belly. Looking down, I’m surprised not to see the pink converse littered with classmates’ signatures that I’d wear every day to school, a symbol of my validity, my existence.
I come out of the bathroom, grab my mousse, leave-in conditioner, and hair-dryer. I scrunch, shake, and fip my hair from side to side, granting it volume and trying to make up for something I think I was lacking at 12. The curls emerge, bouncy and light, unshackled from the length and weight of long hair.
A few days pass and I’ve held my hair up in pigtails and hair clips to hide it. I still haven’t been able to recognize myself yet. After a shower one day, my mom cups my face and kisses me on the forehead. “You look so beautiful, I love your hair.” I feel like a kid again.
Flash-forward to a week later.
After trial and error, I slowly became accustomed to my bob. Bobs are the best accessory, so I put fun fts on all week. My hair has dried nicely and bounces around my cheeks. I wore some chunky purple earrings that I thrifted. I look in the mirror. I look really gay. At 20, my body has stopped growing and changing so much. She’s settled. I’ve settled. My hair parts down the middle now, no need to adjust so much. I see a version of myself that my seventh grade counterpart would be happy to be.
If you’re looking to get a bob, go back and look at a picture of yourself in middle school. Ask yourself if you’re okay with speaking to that person again, access those feelings, and fnally accept them. Change is the only thing we can rely on, right? So, lean into it. Get the cut. Embrace the change. Plus, haircuts don’t look good until about a week later anyways. YM
HOW TO SPOT A FINAL GIRL
WRITTEN BY DAPHNE BRYANT
Gale Weathers. Grace Le Domas. Emerald Haywood. Maxine Minx. If this pattern is sounding familiar, it’s because all of these women are legendary and badass “fnal girls.” The idea of the fnal girl is a massive trope in horror flms, and it refers to the last girl or woman left alive. Seeing as a common plot line in horror flms is the subsequent and anxiety-inducing killing of several victims oneby-one, being the fnal girl is a pretty big deal. It means, out of all the movie’s characters, they are the quickest on their feet, the most clever, and the most willing to do anything to see another day.
The term fnal girl was coined by Carol J. Clover in one of her books, Men, Women, and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film, a deep dive into the golden age of flms deemed “slashers.” The three pillars that make up the fnal girl, according to Clover’s defnition, are 1. being the sole survivor in a group of people being chased by a killer, 2. getting a fnal confrontation of which can either include killing the villain, escaping or being saved by someone else, and 3. maintaining a moral superiority to that of her fellow victims; something admirable that sets her apart and makes her worthy of staying alive.
Over the years, the idea of the fnal girl has certainly evolved. From sexual orientation to racial identity, the makeup of a fnal girl has been diversifed to include all kinds of shapes and sizes. Say bye-bye to Black people always dying frst, and hello to the female protagonist fghting the killer to save her girlfriend, not just her boyfriend. Cinema has undergone changes, which means there’s really only two ways to identify a fnal girl now: by her stellar, distinct personality and drop dead gorgeous look.
In the past, most fnal girls have tended to be damsels in distress. “They were always dressed more conservative than their counterparts [and] fashion dictates the personality of the character. The more conservatively they’re dressed, the less sexuality they have, the higher chance they have of being the fnal girl,” says Ashleeta Beauchamp (she/her), writer, entrepreneur, dancer and horror expert. Conservatism as the key to surviving murder? I mean, how boring does that sound?! Thankfully, modern-day fnal girls now are more identifable because they stick up for themselves and survive due to their own abilities. Naturally, their fashion choices refect this independent and ultimately feminist change.
A common thread in fnal girl looks of the modern day is the power they exude, the confdence and determination that is elevated by their outft. There’s also cases like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s portrayal of Julie James from I Know What You Did Last Summer, where she actually uses her wardrobe, a deceivingly girl-next-door look, to escape the killer. Her outft is not just cute—it aids in her survival. Every choice is deliberate, so if you see an actor on screen that catches your eye because their clothes juxtapose their character or goes against the norm established in mainstream flm, you’re probably right to assume they’re
ART BY LIZ FARIAS
a fnal girl. But... how exactly do you spot a modern fnal girl with a killer style? What’s the formula?
The main thing to remember is that they’re going to wear something out of the ordinary for women in their character’s societal scenarios. For example, in her lace top, crinoline skirt, Converse, and bandolier, Ready or Not’s Grace looks like a bride gone to war on her wedding night (which isn’t far of from the actual premise of the movie). While being in all white aligns with themes of purity found in former flms, Grace is styled like a warrior, which makes her much more than just a pretty bride. In Scream, Kirby Reed sports blazers and leather jackets, clothing items that historically represent a sense of power and agency for women. As early on as the 1970s, this shift became obvious, with the suit working as a symbol of equality and feminism.
X’s Maxine is similarly unique in her design. The overalls she chooses to wear might seem to be simple denim clothing on the surface, but considering she is nude underneath in many scenes, you realize that the stylists are actually making a bold and deliberate choice. Maxine’s subtle comfortability with her sexuality is part of the agency that many past fnal girls were not allowed to have. Compared to side characters Lorraine with her plain schoolgirl look, and Bobby-Lynne, the Marilyn Monroe wannabe, it’s explicitly clear who’s diferent based on their authentic wardrobe alone. The scandalous ensemble indicates early-on that Maxine’s going to be a contender, if not the contender. Even without the dialogue and story letting you know that Maxine believes she is destined for greatness, one look at Maxine, her overalls, and bright blue eyeshadow should tell you she’s got fnal girl status.
These days, the fnal girl’s outfts are always going to shock and surprise. It’s all about the spectacle, and the drama. One might think of Florence Pugh’s Dani Ardor (Midsommar) who dresses head to toe like a true cult leader and unconventional fnal girl: in divine and gaudy fowers that cover all parts of her body with the exception of her face. Ardor is an untraditional fnal girl who survives a mental battle just as much as a physical one. Often called the villain of Midsommar, Dani sticks out just as much, if not more, than other fnal girls mentioned. Choosing her toxic, god-awful boyfriend as a ritualistic sacrifce is perhaps one of the most badass things a fnal girl has done yet, and she has a badass costume to match.
What truly gives these fnal girl looks their legendary status is the attitude that carries their outfts. As the fnal girl trope has evolved, the power in being the last to survive has been reclaimed by femme-identifying people and BIPOC individuals. In all of these characters, you can see their silent resolve, their pride in making it out of an awful situation, which is amplifed by their defning fts. Making space for diferent voices to be heard and diferent clothes to be worn is undoubtedly one of the biggest and most interesting shifts in horror. YM
DID YOU REMEMBER YOUR SUBWAY SHIRT? DID YOU REMEMBER YOUR SUBWAY SHIRT?
WRITTEN
BY
BROOKE HOLDER
PHOTOGRAPHED
BY
NICOLE ARMBRECHT
In cities where streets are full of car horns blaring and drivers screaming obscenities, why would anyone want to drive? Every morning when I hear that orchestra of alarms and beeps, I am thankful my commute consists of reading a book or staring into oblivion on a train. However, train users have to consider the fact that they are exposed to hundreds of strangers crowding around them on the subway. Drivers have the privilege of traveling in their own space that allows them to wear what they want without fear of sexualization from strangers. The subway has cheap fares, no insurance, and no responsibility. In theory, this system is accessible and a revolution for those wanting to save money while having reliable transportation — until the responsibility to be safe falls on the femme, the “vulnerable,” and the fashionable.
Kelley Heyer (she/they) is a strong advocate for the subway along with its convenience and practicality. Their day job as an actress and fashion infuencer takes them all over the city, giving them plenty of opportunities to observe and embrace the environment of the subway. Heyer posted a TikTok of her removing an oversized t-shirt to reveal an ABL Estudio top after taking the subway. The text on the video reads, “When you’re a block away from the party and can fnally take of your subway shirt.” Heyer proclaims her baggy boygenius t-shirt a “subway shirt” as a way to protect her clothes from the sullied subway seats and herself from staring eyes.
In a few days, she was receiving millions of views and a deluge of comments and DMs from people relating to the reality of covering up their outfts and others harassing her despite the obvious hypocrisy. Heyer wore the shirt because they “didn’t want unwanted attention.” They continued, “I was going to a NYFW event [and] my outft very much ft the vibe of the runway… But I knew other people wouldn’t get it.” The clothes people choose to wear are not an invitation to sexualize them. Fashion is a way to physically express how we feel day to day in a way that’s visually appealing to one’s self. Emphasis on one’s
self. The volume of shameless and crude comments proved why some people believe in the necessity of a “subway shirt.”
When reading the comments, Heyer remarked how she “kinda just had to laugh… I knew I looked great.” However, she refected on how a few years ago, a viral video like this would’ve changed her life and probably not for the better. In high school, they believe those kinds of messages would’ve destroyed their self esteem. Using fashion as a way to create a community and grow as a person, Heyer’s uplifting demeanor is evident in our conversation. In her mind, the only way to turn this potentially negative situation into a positive one was to do what they do best: create. Heyer reached out to her friend Riley Scott and immediately got to work on what’s now known as the ofcial Subway Shirt. All of the proceeds are donated to Planned Parenthood and The YellowHammer Fund.
Heyer hopes the shirt can serve as a “form of armor” to those who want to feel more protected from uncomfortable stares or unwelcome attention when traveling. The shirt also serves as a contribution to the solidarity she has received from people throughout her life. A portrayal of this unity was when Heyer received warning as she was getting on a train car at rush hour that every person came out of as soon as the doorsopened. She chalked it up to busy city schedules but as Heyer “started walking on, a girl who just got of tapped my shoulder, and she said, ‘Don’t get on that train car.’”
People should be able to choose their outfts based on personal taste and not, “can I run fast enough in this outft?” Until that day happens, wear what you want, but allow a Subway Shirt to ease the feelings of uneasiness on public transit. The ability to use mainstream transportation is what gives people the ability to get a job, have a life, and be connected with the world they live in. Playing into the bystander efect and sticking your face in a phone when things get uncomfortable is how people get hurt or possibly worse. Be a friend when taking the train, not a stranger. YM
STREETSTREETSTREET s tyl e
INTERVIEWED BY GIGI
SIPIORA
NADINE nadin e
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SOFIA
VERANI
NAME:
Nadine Ibraheem (She/Her)
STYLE:
Unpredictable, unique, genderless INSPO:
Pinterest FAVORITE STORE:
Urban Outftters
CELEBRITY ICON:
Bella Hadid PIECES OF WARDROBE YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
Unique sneakers, ftted tank, & baggy bottoms
BIRDIE birdie
NAME:
Birdie Nelson (She/Her)
STYLE: INSPO:
Eclectic, experimental, layered
A lot of my outft inspo comes from Pinterest, but ever since moving to Boston, I’ve honestly gathered so much style inspiration just from seeing strangers on the streets.
FAVORITE STORE:
I always shop second hand, so specifcally this one shop in my hometown called Weekend Vintage. Everything they curate resonates so deeply with my personal style, and the prices are adjacent to those of a regular thrift store. Not to mention the fact that they always have good music playing when I walk in.
CELEBRITY ICON:
Olivia O has cultivated one of the most unique and self-refective styles I’ve seen. She’s always wearing something new and manages to layer unlikely texture/pattern combos perfectly. Plus, she customizes a lot of her clothing pieces by drawing on, ripping, pinning or restructuring them, which gives even the most simple outfts an element of personal fare.
PIECES OF WARDROBE YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
My Doc Martens, denim jacket, and frilly socks
LINH linh
NAME:
Linh Luong (She/Her)
STYLE:
I would say my style depends on the day. Currently, I’m on a shift from bold and edgy to more practical, minimal and chic style.
INSPO:
I get inspiration from Pinterest, Instagram, and shopping apps.
FAVORITE STORE:
I would say those hyped thrift stores in New York, so I can still have a wide variety of brands and styles to choose from.
CELEBRITY ICON:
Rihanna, Zendaya, and recently, I like Anok Yai
PIECES OF WARDROBE YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
Baggy pants, sneakers, and jewelry
NAME:
Ren Breeze (They/Them)
STYLE:
Dark, nostalgic, and a touch of kawaii
INSPO:
I frequent raves, goth music festivals, and ask others there where they bought pieces of their outfts.
FAVORITE STORE:
I would defnitely say H&M. They have the perfect amount of every aspect of clothing from layering to t-shirts to just casual dresses.
CELEBRITY ICON:
Jazmin Bean or Melanie Martinez
PIECES OF WARDROBE YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
Doc Martens, my sword earrings, and chokers
DRESS
UP
DIRECTED BY SOFIA VERANI & BIANCA LUND
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SOFIA VERANI
STYLED BY BIANCA LUND
MAKEUP BY SOPHIE ROBERTS-FISHMAN
MODELED BY SABRINA LAM AND KHUSHI UPADHYAYA
The Chronicles of an International Freshman
WRITTEN BY DANA ALBALA
After getting accepted to Emerson, I researched student organizations and made a list of the ones I wanted to join. This might come as a surprise, as one might imagine a senior in high school was too busy to do this. But the truth is, I was ready to turn the page on this chapter of my life, and I couldn’t wait to reinvent myself by channeling my interests through diferent organizations.
At the org fair, I wrote down my contact information on almost every table: all the magazines, social orgs, theater orgs, and everything else on the roster. My inbox was fooded with follow-up emails and sign-up forms the following week. During the afternoon I set aside to fll out applications, I realized they all required something I didn’t have: experience.
Magazines asked me for previous experience working as a photographer, writer, or model. Did my personal pictures count as photographer work? My IB English Literature essays count as writing experience? What about when my friend and I took pictures after we did our makeup, was that modeling? The theater orgs asked for specifc experience when in reality, I had only participated in my school’s musical theater club twice. How was I supposed to join when my experience wasn’t “professional?” As I began to close the tabs of signup forms, which were becoming more overwhelming by the second, I realized that I only really stood a chance with two of the orgs I had looked into.
Then, I thought maybe I would stand a chance by applying for an on-campus job. My roommate got her frst job on campus around our second month of college, so this might be less intimidating. Little did I know, I would get rejected from 10 diferent positions.
As the semester went on, I felt mocked by my missed college experiences as I saw my classmates working on-campus jobs. Every time I walked into an ofce in the college, a person in my class would be working there with a smile on their face, ready to help out anyone who walked through the door. “Hey Dana! Great to see you here!” Honestly, I can’t say the same.
When magazines came out, every new page I fipped onto I had a familiar face or name. People in my class got featured as writers, models, and photographers; everything that I was too scared to apply for. I felt like a failure: everyone around me was on a ship that had sailed a long time ago. Meanwhile, I was still standing at the shoreline.
During the break, I kept asking myself why this happened. I talked about it with my friends and family, and I came to the conclusion that it may be because some of the people around me knew students at Emerson before arriving, giving them a certain advantage. Many people say that it’s easy to fnd at least one person in your hometown who’s going or went to the same college as you. Unfortunately, I
ART BY REBECCA CALVAR
formed part of the 16 percent of students whose hometown is 8,000 kilometers away.
For the longest time, I ended up blaming the fact that I was an international student for not being “successful” in my freshman year. I was an outsider to many things I didn’t know I’d be. For example, whenever a professor on the frst week of school asked us where we’re from, they started talking about the football or baseball teams that the respective student’s state is famous for. Then when it was my turn and I said, “I’m from Santiago, Chile,” they’d just look at me with wide eyes and say, “Oh! That’s so cool!” Santiago doesn’t have a football or baseball team, so what could professors possibly say for small talk?
Not only did I have to get used to college, but I also had to adapt to hearing a diferent language than the one I’d heard for the last 18 years of my life, to a radically diferent social culture, and to be asked where my accent, which I thought was nonexistent until I moved to the United States, was from before I was able to fnish my frst sentence when talking to anybody new.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to get used to my new life in this new country while simultaneously doing everything I set myself out to achieve as a freshman in college. It simply wasn’t realistic. I thought this was true until a couple of days ago when I realized I couldn’t put the blame on the fact that I was an international student, and apparently, others had an advantage over me. But rather, I had to blame it on nothing.
The feelings I had of my experience being mediocre and not good enough to accomplish my goals at college were caused by my wrongful understanding that I was less valuable because I was an outsider when in reality, this made me stand out. Living in a new country meant I brought unique experiences and ideas to the table. When I came to terms with this, I realized I was the only thing in my way this whole time, not the so-called people who were more successful than me.
The truth is, no one around you is near to having their shit together. It’s all a facade that everyone around you, including yourself, creates in order to feel some peace in themselves. Even when I thought everyone around me was confdent and knew what they were doing, it was just what it looked like on the outside.
I’m still not sure what college is about, but for now, I think it’s about discovering yourself at your own pace. Eventually, I was able to complete many of the goals I proposed for myself as a freshman during my sophomore year, proving to myself that good things take time. Worrying about other people’s pace will stress you out and distract you from your goals. It’s always important to move at your own pace and never let others make you believe that your technique doesn’t work. As long as it works for you, that’s all that matters. YM
THE PARADOX OF INFORMATION CONSUMPTION
Today, we have access to any information we want at the click of a button, and I don’t believe enough people are thinking about how mind-boggling this is. I get it—it is hard to believe this “access” is anywhere close to signifcant when we are constantly using technology to function.
Don’t know where the closest Starbucks is? Google Maps.
Don’t know if you are about to freeze your ass of in the cold? Weather App.
Don’t know the name of the song playing? Spotify (I’m looking at you, Apple Music listeners).
Technology is so embedded in our society that our reliance on it isn’t surprising, as that is the point. Technology was created to be relied on, but even with our continuous reliance on it for our day-to-day needs, I am convinced that much of society is not using this tool to our full advantage.
But when you are scrolling or even getting notifcations through the news, Instagram, Twitter, or YouTube, there will be other content that will pop-up that your brain subconsciously processes, and in hindsight, we are constantly passively taking in information.
Journalism student Molly Dehaven ‘27, says, “There is something to be said about the 24-hour news cycle and how easy it is to constantly consume news, but the reality is that this will likely always be accessible for people who need it. When it comes down to it, people need to understand their limits.”
This begs the question of how we limit ourselves and when limitation can turn into ignorance.
Dehaven answers, “I think there is importance in knowing what is going on and I think that ignorance can be dangerous to a certain extent. You need to fnd a sweet spot between being educated and not overconsuming to the point of being desensitized or negatively impacted by the media.”
As amazing as it is to have access to any information we want, much of our media is full of tragedy—what makes it worse is that sometimes news outlets exploit the tragedy for the sake of ratings and not for the people who simply wish to be informed.
Journalism student Megan Boucher ‘27 says, “It’s hard to have to interact with the news so often as it can get really depressing sometimes. To avoid doom scrolling and to break up the negativity, I like to purposefully seek out positive stories. Or honestly, just stepping away from social media helps a lot, too.”
It is clear that many people who do keep up with the news have become desensitized to mass tragedy and others who try to get informed end up being discouraged and avoid the news altogether.
Boucher comments, “I think everyone I know is desensitized. We are so bombarded by information that the only way to cope with it is to compartmentalize our emotions, and this leaves us feeling desensitized to the news.” Dehaven adds, “I feel like people read so much about
things happening around the world that they do not truly process and empathize, which leads to them having little to no remorse for tragedy.”
News consumption is amplifed by the fact that it is now being spread through social media. Whether it is literal news platforms, social media profles, or people spreading news themselves through informational slides and reposts. While social media is a great way to get people to learn more about issues happening around the world, just like any news source, social media shouldn’t be your only form of reference when educating yourself on what is happening in the world.
Mass desensitization could have implications beyond just feeling nothing when viewing saddening news such as being less proactive in creating change to stop the issues. In a way, this builds a sense of doom—if nothing can be done about it anyway, why try being informed at all? The level at which people are exposed to graphic details and imagery makes you wonder if it’s even possible to stay healthily informed.
Boucher says, “I think we’ve reached a point where overconsumption is the norm. There really is no way to fx it on a wide scale. If we want to decrease how much we consume, it must come through on a personal level.”
Just like anything in life, we are each responsible for our well-beings, meaning only you know when it’s time to take a break when it comes to consuming news. Everyone has diferent thresholds for what they can handle—no one is going to hold you accountable for creating this boundary but yourself.
With that being said, as easy as it is to sit here and discuss how watching the news can be depressing, it is 100 percent a privilege to be watching the news from afar and not actually be the news. Being able to comment on how the news interacts with our society is a privilege in itself, considering that means I have that access to an array of diferent news sources make these observations in the frst place.
At the end of the day, it is up to the individual to set those healthy boundaries when taking in media and the news. While it can be disheartening to know what kind of state the world is in right now, it is crucial to be aware of what is happening. Even though most news outlets are giving in to shock value, there are also many out there that strive to preserve the humanity of situations by only displaying the facts.
Being ignorant has never benefted anyone, so choosing to stay in the dark when it comes to the news is not the answer. If the news is getting heavy, instead of backing away from it, people should take the time to look for stories of how there are still victories and hope for change. By bringing attention to news stories that don’t hide you from the reality of the situation, and also gives ways to help and hope to a problem, we can all be more productive when it comes to our news consumption and the steps we can take to help. YM
WRITTEN BY OLIVIA FLANZ
ART BY ALEXA LUNNEY
WAIT FOR IT
WRITTEN BY ASHLEY FERRER
Much of my life has been spent waiting. Waiting for the day where I wake up and have all of life’s answers, where I wholeheartedly possess every and any quality I’ve ever felt I was lacking.
I’ve spent more class periods than I can count fantasizing about my picture-perfect dream life. I’d be in a frigid classroom wearing sweats and the residue of yesterday’s makeup, chin pressed to my palm, staring at the tragically left behind water bottle and clumps of dust accumulating in the corner of the room. But in my head, I’m at an oceanside villa in Aruba, kicking my feet up under the tropical sun and sipping on a coconut. In this dream reality, I’ve got no worries; I’m skinnier, smarter, cooler, prettier, braver, and richer. I am in every aspect an improvement of the poor dreamer back in reality.
Like I said, it was a fantasy. Fantasies are great sources to build your mood board around and motivators to aspire to. However, the more I fantasized about everything I was not, the more I became obsessed with the idea of radical self-improvement. No matter what I would do, I couldn’t help but sit and wonder about how the results would have differed if I were more…whatever. I thought about it so often that it manifested itself in everything. Soon enough, my dire infatuation with living up to my fantasies ironically stripped me of my ability to simply try.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ALEXA LUNNEY
had previously fantasized about cultivating. We’d go out on the town in cutely curated outfts, our eyes set on spicing up our feeds, yet my section of our shared album would never see the light of day. If my pictures didn’t give the exact vibe I wanted to give of, why even bother posting them at all?
As I write this I think back to a previous article my dear friend Nirvana Ragland ‘25 wrote for Your Mag’s December ‘22 issue. In “Be Fucking For Real,” she outlines the phenomena of hypervigilance and comparison in social media. The efects of people sharing only a highlight reel of their lives makes the average person feel as though they aren’t enough. Hypervigilance makes your life a performance where you’re constantly being perceived. It’s almost like if you don’t post about something, it doesn’t exist. So whatever you do, you better do it perfectly because it exists forever. When everyone else posts, they’re looking their best. When you attempt to, it’s not nearly as cute as you imagined, so why even post this mediocre representation for all to remember you by? So, not only am I holding myself to an impossible standard, but I am now seeing this fear reiterated right in front of me. I am confronted with the rhetoric that you only get one chance to put yourself out there and it shall defne you forever.
MY DIRE INFATUATION OF LIVING UP TO MY FANTASIES IRONICALLY STRIPPED ME OF MY ABILITY TO SIMPLY TRY.
Every waking day would be consumed by my preparation to be better than I was the day before and fnally become someone I deemed worthy of love, respect, success—everything I’d ever hoped for and desired. Even the submission of this article was delayed by my anxious delusion that I’d miraculously be more equipped to rewrite it better tomorrow.
It was like I was so tired of being disappointed in the me that was present and trying, that I subconsciously started to put my entire life on pause. Performance anxiety, a term usually reserved for theatrical displays in front of large crowds, slowly stunned me. The smallest of actions suddenly felt grand and detrimental to my persona. I developed a toxic mindset of doing something perfectly or not at all, and that’s exactly what I ended up with: nothing.
Hyping up these little actions in my daily life set up such a strict standard that was nearly impossible for me to reach. I would hold of on buying clothes that I loved in fear of “ruining the fantasy” I had of how I would look when I fnally “deserved” to wear them. Job applications would pass me by because I wasn’t where I thought I’d be when presented with an opportunity. To my friends’ dismay, I even stopped posting on my own Instagram in fear of defying the image I
And maybe it’s just my situational perfectionism that encourages me to submit half-assed essays I can no longer look at, but prevents me from reaching out to a potential employer without my LinkedIn being in perfect order. Or my safeguarded heart that convinces me not to swipe right until I’m totally healed and perfect to date. Or that gnawing reminder that I should put of wearing this dress until I shrink myself into a body that “can actually pull it of.” Maybe it’s just my debilitating fear of looking life right in the eyes, blinking, and it’s all gone. It’s easier to stand still and yearn for mere fantasies than to grieve losses, mistakes, and untapped potential. If I prepare myself deeply, I can never fail, never disappoint my family, and never disappoint myself.
Over time, I’ve realized you can never prepare yourself for life. Day by day, I’ve started to roll the clip on a previously paused avenue of my life, forcing myself to do the things I want outside the limitations of a preferred timeline.
You will never be perfect, let alone perfectly “ready,” for any aspect of your life. It takes failure to grow, and learn, and evolve. To those who, like me, have put the weight of the world’s expectations onto themselves, just know it’s okay to try. YM
YOUR MOMENTS
A collection of digital moments from YM readers and collaborators. Whether on campus or in Greater Boston, your moments are worth publishing.
mike teevee
DIRECTED BY SEBASTIAN OLIVO
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SEBASTIAN OLIVO
MODELED BY NATE OAKS
Bursting YouR
Parasocial Bubble
WRITTEN BY LAUREN SMITH
It’s the worst type of betrayal to me,” Twitter user @cowboylikemila wrote after admitting to throwing her father’s heart medication in the trash. All over his distaste for Taylor Swift. Literally risking her father’s life over Taylor Swift. She doesn’t even know Swift personally. She doesn’t know really anything about her at all, she just thinks she does.
It was nearing the end of summer when Taylor Swift attended Jack Antonof and Margaret Qualley’s wedding in New Jersey. And with her came thousands of others. They lined the street at the restaurant Swift ate at the day before the wedding, they were barricaded by police outside the ceremony and reception—spending hours waiting just to catch a glimpse of Swift. For what? To see what she looked like? Hasn’t the paparazzi captured enough images of her throughout her entire lifetime? Literally, since she was, what, 16-years-old cameras have followed her everywhere.
It was around the new year when Phoebe Bridgers was spotted at LAX alongside Bo Burnham when fans were frenzied over Paul Mescal’s (Bridgers’ ex) whereabouts. About Burnham’s purpose. Harassing and bullying her with these questions. Fans later found out Bridgers was on her way to her father’s funeral.
The term parasocial interaction was introduced in the 1950s by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. It was based on people’s seemingly intimate relationships with actors on television, and the defnition and scope of it have changed immensely over time.
All artists subject themselves to the public light once they are famous; it’s part of the unwritten rules that come with the spotlight. Some may argue they subject themselves to this form of abuse by just existing, but online fan culture has brought parasocial relationships to an entirely new level. A level flled with a lot of entitlement.
What makes us think artists owe us anything? What makes us think we know artists personally? Why do people act in such heinous ways online and in real life just for a glimpse of another human being?
Now, I’m by no means an innocent fan either. I saw boygenius three
ART BY ISABELLA CHIU
times in the span of a week. Stating this for the sake of honest journalism, this is not my proudest moment. But (not just in my defense) seeing an artist or performer in the medium in which they choose to express themself is not at all the same as stalking performers on the street because you saw they were in your town. Yes, I am speaking directly to the people stalking boygenius on Newbury Street when they were here in September. Your photos of them on every block are frightening. I am scared of you. Your behavior is gross.
When fans live under the assumption that being a fan of someone’s work makes you believe you know someone on a deeper level, they enter a dangerous territory. Stans, an internet term that refers to ultra-fans, sometimes indulge in this unhealthy behavior: they fnd themselves defending individuals they’ve never met without a stage separating them. Sometimes to a fault.
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to defend your favorite artists with your entire being. They owe you nothing and you owe them nothing. Appreciating art and indulging in it, doesn’t mean you know someone. You aren’t their friend. You never will be. You also don’t need to be involved in their life outside of what their work is. Be a fan of boygenius’s work, support their music, see them live, and buy their merchandise. You don’t need to know their every move, you don’t need to be involved in their relationships, and you certainly don’t need to hypothesize about their lives publicly.
boygenius said it best in their song, “Bite The Hand.” “Here’s the best part distilled for you / But you want what I can’t give to you.” Artists don’t present their real self to the public. They show the best parts of themselves, and for good reason. There is no way for you to really know them. They will always have a form of separation between the public and themself, otherwise they cannot be idealized and they can’t reach fame without it.
There is a better way to be a fan and to stop yourself from falling into the parasocial traps, and the answer lies in your engagement practices. Listen to music, go watch movies, visit museums—support artists and their art. And leave your relationship at that. Enjoy art for the sake of it existing, nothing more, nothing less. YM
more than the music
WRITTEN BY ENSOR STULL
PHOTOGRAPHED BY JESSIE ROSENTHAL-ANDRE
We live in a fast-paced world, our communication forever changed by the advent of public access to the internet. However, after living in it long enough, it’s easy to take that speed and scope for granted. This is especially the case for how we show each other music. In the past two decades, the way we share music with each other has been utterly overhauled. In an instant, we can share a song with someone thousands of miles away with just a push of a button. Through social media, you can project the music you’re playing for the entire world to see. It’s a marvelous thing, and the way that we interact with music is evolving because of it. Because of the infuence and raw power of music libraries like Spotify and Apple Music, when we share music with each other, we are sharing more than the music; we are presenting targeted information to each other about our music tastes, our moods, and even our feelings about the people we’re sending our songs to.
There’s a well-documented and storied history of how music has been mobilized: from live performances to things like car radios, Walkmans, and eventually, the iPod. However, if you wanted to tell someone about some new music any time in the ye olde 20th century, it would likely be by word of mouth.
in the lyrics or title, a playlist for summer car rides, a playlist for crying about boys at midnight, and many more.
However, the most common type of playlist I make are the one’s I make for my friends. It’s an intimate act to make a playlist for a person, to carefully curate what songs you think a person would like or simply remind you of them. I’ll often make a playlist for a friend and continuously add to it over the course of multiple years as I discover more music and form new memories with them. I’ve even (un)subtly firted through playlists, adding songs with lyrics or emotional moments that mimic my feelings towards a person.
It’s an intimate act to make a playlist for a person, to carefully curate what songs you think a person would like or simply
remind you of them.
Nowadays, it’s as simple as copying a link. Subscriptions to music libraries have become the dominant form of how we listen to music in modern times. If you want to show someone music, it can feel borderline essential for you to both have the same music library, so that they can just click on what you send without any ads or extra purchases. Because of this, the additional features that these music libraries have added over the years have made their way into the culture of our music listening in more ways than one might think. One massive manifestation of this is the prominence of playlists.
I’m a big fan of the playlist. Unlike its Walkman predecessor, the modern playlist can neatly store thousands of songs into neat little folders, complete with cover photos, titles, and descriptions. Personally, I have way too many playlists. I have a playlist to study, a playlist to be angry to, a playlist consisting only of songs with the word “rainbow”
However, we also share music with broad groups of people. Music libraries are taking on more aspects of social media and vice versa. On Spotify, if you have your playlists public, anyone who uses the service can follow your playlists and add them to their library. Taking it a step further, “friend activity” allows you to see what your friends are listening to (and by extension, how they might be feeling). You can also make collaborative playlists with multiple people, combining your tastes into one communal playlist. On the other end, Instagram’s “story” and “notes” features allow people to add music alongside the photos, memes, and life updates they normally post. Many people, myself included, have spent whole minutes searching for that perfect 15-second clip of a song to show the world. Just like everything else on social media, when we put our music taste on display, it’s because we want to say something about ourselves. Posting low, percussive beats and smooth vocals might show that we’re feeling carefree and in control of our own lives. It might even be true. Or it might just be an attempt to show that we have good taste in music.
While our music sharing has changed drastically, it hasn’t sacrifced anything. As opposed to other dramatic technological advancements, the popularity of music libraries hasn’t left anything behind. People still play each other songs. We still leave recommendations and mementos that will last people their entire lives. The only diference is that when we communicate information through giving the gift of music to each other, we have more options than ever before. YM
BY
Acoach making shady comments about his own player, a mother blackmailing her decades-long friend, and the breakdown of a relationship that was so intimate it felt familial. It all almost sounds like the overarching season plot of an unforgettable reality show, right? Reality television fans love watching people come to blows. Think of how Kim and Kourtney go viral everytime they get into a fght on Keeping up with the Kardashians, or how many people tune in to watch the emotional break ups on The Bachelor franchise. With the previously mentioned element of blackmail, I think this show could seriously be a hit … if it was real. Here’s the catch.
Everything that I mentioned in the frst sentence genuinely happened behind the scenes last year during one turbulent World Cup campaign for the United States men’s national soccer team (USMNT). When news broke of how Danielle and Claudio Reyna tried to get Head Coach Gregg Berhalter fred after he decided to limit their son Giovanni’s (Gio) playing time during the 2022 World Cup, it rocked the soccer world. Commentators focked to social media to express their disbelief and shock. It felt like everyone had something to say about what had occurred: ESPN, The New York Times, and the story even made waves internationally. Never before had the general population ever cared about the USMNT that much.
Though sports fans can say that they were invested in this scandal because it perfectly embodies the stereotype of American soccer parents—petty, ridiculous, and Karen-esque—and at the end of the day, everybody loves some good old-fashioned drama. Claudio Reyna used to captain the men’s national team where Berhalter was his teammate (friends since childhood, Reyna was Berhalter’s best man); Danielle Reyna played for the women’s national team and was college roommates with Berhalter’s wife, Rosalind. There are old photos of Berhalter with Gio Reyna when he was a toddler, gazing at Reyna in a way that’s reminiscent of a proud father. All of these ties were severed in one instant because of a solitary decision. The story of the Reyna-Berhalter fallout was explosive and more importantly, real something that is incredibly compelling to society.
Have you ever watched a reality TV show and found yourself rolling your eyes at yet another fght because it just seemed so fake? It feels like that in sports sometimes, when moments just feel so perfect it almost seems scripted. Take the New England Patriots’ comeback from 28-3 down to win Super Bowl LI, for example. Or Tiger Woods winning the 2019 Masters after a trying decade of disappointing performances, injury problems, and personal life matters. Or Brandi
Chastain’s penalty to win the 1999 World Cup for the US on home soil in California. It’s too perfect. Yet these were all real moments, and the emotions they made audiences feel appeal to human nature. Fans take comfort in magical moments like these, so it’s no surprise that sports are so beloved. We cherish these special games for the rest of our lives and cannot believe that we were fortunate enough to witness specifc plays.
In reality television, there’s an allure to being able to see the drama in other people’s lives. It’s not dissimilar to sports, where fans murmur incessantly about the fring of coaches, and unhappy players leak private gossip about their teams to news sources. More often than not, the drama can be found in the game itself. Players go from zero to hero in an instant, such as when San Francisco 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy became an NFL starter after being the last draft pick, which could possibly make an entertaining biopic someday. Meaningless games at the beginning of the season become meaningful fast when playof stakes start to loom on the horizon. A diferent side of the fandom comes out as championships start to feel palpable during “win or go home” games. Fans celebrate vigorously when their team wins and mourn apoplectically at losses. These vivid emotions can carry on for days at a time. What is it about sports that inspires humans to behave this way?
A large part of this is our connection to the players. There are athletes who seem to simply transcend sports. Look at Sir Lewis Hamilton. The Formula 1 driver has nearly three times more followers on Instagram than the next highest-followed driver, Charles Leclerc. He has 10 million more followers than the ofcial F1 Instagram account. It’s easy to understand why when you combine the success and dominance that Hamilton has seen with his cultural and political relevance. The British racer has become an icon in his own right through his distinguishable fashion style, his charity work, and his political and social justice activism. Athletes like Hamilton are a large part of why so many fans tune in every week to watch their favorite sports. Much like we love our favorite reality TV characters and wish for them to succeed, we care about the athletes we watch.
In sports, there are heroes we love and villains we love to hate. We feel jubilant when the “good guys” win; we feel disconsolate when the “bad guys” prevail. At the end of the day, humans love a good story—and sports provide some of the best stories because they’re real. YM
ART
OLIVIA FLANZ
WRITTEN BY VIVIAN NGUYEN
THE INTIMACY OF SOUND ENGINEERING
WRITTEN BY MINNA ABDEL-GAWAD
One of the highlights of being a music lover is the joy of live music. Being in a stufy venue as your favorite band serenades you with the lyrics you’ve played a million times over in solitude or switches it up with an extra rif or fll that gives you a rush of adrenaline is a feeling like no other. All of my favorite memories when consuming music have been those lightning-in-a-bottle, intimate moments you experience in tiny concert halls. I’ve had the chance to watch Gabrielle Aplin go entirely of-mic to perform a song from her debut album and make eye contact with Dodie as she sang the gut-punching, raw song “Human.” Those moments are what makes music magical and tangible, when you can physically feel the grainy guitar rifs or heavy beats vibrating through you. With concert ticket prices skyrocketing, that inefable feeling seems further than ever, but thanks to a little place called YouTube.com, it’s not so distant.
Series like NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert or KEXP master the art of intimate sound engineering making listeners and viewers feel like they are with the artist in these cozy settings.
Josh Rogosin is the mastermind behind NPR’s Tiny Desk breathtaking sound engineering. Rogosin has recorded and mixed over 500 episodes of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert and spoken extensively of the challenges surrounding capturing the unreplicable magic that the artists create in the studio. He shared in an interview with In The Lab, “I love that aspect of it being imperfect [...] something about that magic unpredictability of it, it’s just so uncontrived.” There is an authenticity and unadulterated sincerity to every Tiny Desk Concert, and that is all by design and equipment choice. Rogosin shared, “I like having the mic a little further back [from the performers] [...] it’s more natural sounding, it gets more of the air. [...] The shotgun mic is so crisp and bright and brings out really natural frequencies of speech because the shotgun mics are designed for speech.” Rogosin is not only capturing the performance but the sound of the space they are performing in, which is what makes listeners feel as if they are in the room with the artist.
PHOTOGRAPHED
BY
ISA LUZARRAGA
artists to play as quietly as possible and to really listen to each other. It’s amazing when you take away the monitors. The entire dynamic changes for the better and the performances are spectacular.” This is the beauty of live music and sound engineers put so much thought behind capturing this unique way of consuming music.
Many times, what makes rising artists so beloved by their fan bases is that much of the production is DIY-based.
Authenticity is not only strived for in the recording of live performances but also on artists’ ofcial releases. One of my favorite examples of this is Billie Marten’s fourth album Drop Cherries, where she shares in a press release, “Everything was done on tape ... and unadulterated–the way the relationship that inspired the songs is for me.” Marten spends the duration of this album exploring what authenticity means to her, encapsulating that candor perfectly in the recording. The artist shared her recording process was designed to capture that authenticity, “Where the drums were in the room made a huge diference in how we were playing together. Sometimes it was in the round with three mics and three guitars. Sometimes I was in my separate room, but looking directly at the drummer, Casper, so we had that line of communication and [there was] such power I felt in getting it wrong. It was the joy of making something so completely imperfect.”
Many times what makes rising artists so beloved by their fan bases is that much of the production is DIYbased. Songs like Conan Gray’s “Idle Town” are instantly recognizable and a fan favorite because of the home-recorded sound. Gray shares, “I recorded [Idle Town] on a crap portable microphone taped onto a broken lamp as a stand” and mixed the song on GarageBand. With every vocal compression or layered vocal, you can feel the DIY set-up Gray used for this song. Because of this, he has expressed it would be almost impossible to recreate this sound and he would not want to. “Idle Town” and songs like it are able to serve as a time capsule, refecting an artist’s mindset, skill level, and musical preferences, and this is all thanks to how the songs are engineered.
Sound engineers behind these projects create this sense of intimacy very intentionally. Not just with the listeners through production but also between the performers. Rogosin shared on Reddit, “I direct the
Imperfection and authenticity are oftentimes something you can only experience with an artist in live performances, but people like Marten, Gray, and Rogosin are proving that recordings are able to capture raw, unfltered sound just like our ears are able to, redefning what recorded music can be. YM
ARIES
TV SHOW: Avatar: the Last Airbender
Action-packed and full of emotion, this show features fantasy, friendship, and adventure.
TAURUS GEMINI
strong willed reliable
The heart of this Netfix teen drama is the trope of found family, something that’s bound to appeal to this air sign. passionate
FILM: Moonrise Kingdom
Sweet and quirky, this flm is the perfect example of the headstrong feeling of young love.
CANCER
LEO
TV SHOW: Outer Banks
VIRGO
FILM: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
A moving story about the intricacy of relationships and the pain of loss, it’s bound to make you feel something. empathetic
LIBRA
SINGER: Still Woozy
This blend of R&B, soul, and pop is the perfect soundtrack to accompany the peaceful energy that Libras are known for.
SINGER: Janelle Monáe
The perfect confdence booster, every Leo needs a little Janelle Monáe on their going-out playlist.
FILM: Theater Camp
Eccentric and hilarious, watch this new release with a group of friends and popcorn. sociable
SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS
FILM: House
Full of creative visual efects, this supernatural movie has been described as the Japanese Alice in Wonderland. vigorous comedic
BAND: Vulfpeck
An American funk band famous for releasing a silent album that exposed a loophole in Spotify’s royalty distribution is sure to be appreciated by a Sag’s sense of humor. gentle
CAPRICORN
SINGER: Weyes Blood
A blend of alternative and indie, her music appeals to an independent spirit. resourceful
AQUARIUS
opininated
SINGER: Hozier
Passion and prose encapsulates Hozier’s music to a T.
PISCES
FILM: Aftersun
Bound to make you think philosophically, a Pisces’s fuid spirit is likely to be enraptured with this flm. adaptable
YOUR ENTERTAINMENT HOROSCOPE
A collection of television show, movie, and music recommendations based on your horoscope and astrological signs.
BY JULES SAGGIO
Snow Angels
DIRECTED BY ASHLEY FERRER
PHOTOGRAPHED BY EMMA CAHILL
ART BY REBECCA CALVAR
STYLED BY ANNA BACAL PETERSON
MAKEUP BY VARA GIANNAKOPOULOS
MODELED BY AIMÉE COLEMAN AND REBECCA CALVAR
Need It (feat. Masego) --- KAYTRANADA
She Calls Me Back (with Kacey Musgraves) --- Noah Kahan, Kacey Musgraves
F*ck Me Pumps --- Amy Winehouse
Super Stars --- Yves Tumor
Change In The weather --- The Beths
Taco Truck x VB --- Lana Del Rey
Spring --- Angel Olsen
Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty) --- Lana Del Rey, Father
Sidelines --- Phoebe Bridgers
Afraid of Heights --- boygenius
Vampire Empire --- Big Thief
Cinnamon Girl --- Lana Del Rey
Dye it Red --- beabadoobee
Songs for Women --- Frank Ocean
Many Times --- Dijon
John Misty
Taken ---MUNA
Crush --- Ethel Cain
Silver Springs --- Fleetwood Mac
Leonard Cohen --- boygenius
Social Path --- Stray Kids, LiSA
Archie, Marry Me --- Alvvays
Back on 74 --- Jungle
Open My Door --- Alice Phoebe Lou right where you left me --- Taylor Swift
Retrograde --- Maggie Rogers
Angela --- The Lumineers
Andromeda --- Weyes Blood
Thunder --- Lana Del Rey
ARTIST STATEMENT: KENDEL DAWSON
Describe your work in one sentence. My work is emotionally-taxing yet vastly rewarding.
How and when did you get into music, videos, vlogs, etc.?
I got into music and videos both at separate times. Videos came with the interest of flm; I started to get into flm because there was this girl I thought was cute, and I thought she was taking a flm class in high school, so I decided to take it as well so I could spend more time with her. I got there and funny enough, she was not taking the class. But I decided to stay with it and fell in love with it. Music: I’ve always been interested in since I was a kid, I released my frst song on streaming during the pandemic and realized this was something I really loved doing.
Why pop music?
I primarily make pop music because it’s such a fun genre; there’s not a lot of people that look like me in that space and if I could potentially inspire someone else who looks like me to pursue it as well then I’d be happy to do so. I also say pop music as a catchall term; pop in my mind is short for popular music, and I think whatever I create could be popular. I don’t like to box myself into a genre, my motto is: “just make shit that sounds cool.”
What is your favorite song you’ve written? What makes it special to you?
My favorite song I’ve written is always going to be “Not With Me.” “Not With Me” is so special to me because it was truly the frst time I’ve been able to emotionally express myself through song. It was almost never going to come out; it was too personal, and I thought the person I wrote the song about was going to fnd out it was about her, and I didn’t want to risk our friendship or anything. But after showing some friends, they convinced me, and that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made as I don’t think I’m where I am without the creation of that song. The reaction to the release of the song made me feel like I really belonged in the music scene, and I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Who are some of your favorite creators/artists?
This is always such a hard question to answer because no matter what I say I always feel like
I’m missing people. I’ll list a couple: Chance the Rapper; Michael Jackson; BENEE; Khalid; Dominic Fike; Kanye West (strictly musically); Clairo; Alicia Keys; Maxwell; Bruno Mars; Bob Marley; Corda; Drake, J Cole; Kendrick Lamar; Tyler, The Creator; Teez; Touchdown; and most importantly, my parents.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
In 10 years, I see myself listening to “White Ferrari” in my white Ferrari late at night, happily crying, thinking about how far I came from 10 years ago. That’s the idea. I see myself happy in 10 years, still surrounded by the people who love me and successfully thriving in my career as an artist.
What advice would you give other/new creators?
I have two vital pieces of advice that may seem basic but have been the guiding points for me: Don’t give up, and stop waiting for the right time. Perseverance is my strongest quality, I think that no journey goes in a straight line, and if it does that’s a boring journey with no character development. Things get rough in life, but if you have a goal, and you really push yourself to get to that goal I promise you it’ll all be worth it; everything is possible and the people who say otherwise were just too afraid to get their dreams. There is no such thing as the right time, there is a time and place to do things certainly, but if you wait for the right time you’ll be waiting for forever. Stop procrastina,ting and just put your work out there. The hardest part is getting started, but when you take that frst step, every step after feels more possible.
Where can readers see more of your work?
Readers can hear my music on all streaming platforms under the name of KD Sizzle, and see all the cool visuals on my YouTube channel which is also under the name of KD Sizzle. Life updates can be found via my Instagram, under the handle @k.endel.
