I Am a Mural: The Experience of Being Multiracial

In the fourth grade, my two cousins and I were browsing the shelves to choose the pottery we wanted to paint “This one says ‘Made in China ’ Like you, Clarissa!” my cousin exclaimed I let out a faint fake laugh to hide the hurt and disbelief that went through my mind.

My mother is Mexican and my father is Chinese and Caucasian Growing up as a multiracial child, I felt like muddy paint water, with multiple pigments blended into one indistinguishable color. No one knows exactly what colors are in that water, or in this case, what ethnicities I am made up of. Attending a predominantly white elementary school, most students were surprised to hear that I am Mexican and Chinese I remember one of my classmates’ remarks: “What?! I thought you were white!” I myself was surprised to hear this as I have always felt I look mixed.

Each of my mom’s siblings married Mexican spouses Spending time with all my cousins who were full Mexican, I did not feel Latina enough beside them. And when I was with my dad’s side of the family, I felt too bronzed, although I really am not that tan My grandmother has even asked me how I identify myself as a multiracial person

I replied, “Mexican, Chinese, and Caucasian.” She was taken aback because she is proud to be Mexican and suggested that I should identify as Mexican only However, her comment did not change how I view myself I never felt shame or embarrassment that I am mixed I just felt different

There was a time when I felt like an outsider to my extended family The time my cousin related me to a ‘Made in China’ label. Hiding behind the hurt with an expressionless face and a faint fake laugh, I felt vulnerable. Fourth-grade me did not know how to stand up for myself.

Looking back, I wish I would have told him that his remark was inappropriate and hurtful. Because of the self-awareness I have learned from personal experience, I am able to stand up for myself now and enlighten others on how hurtful remarks can leave a scar I want to show ten-year-old me how special it truly is to come from a diverse background.

Before, I tried to blend in like the pigments that are dipped into muddy paint water which mesh into one color I could never fully “blend in” however because if I embraced one of my races, I felt that I was leaving the other two races behind.

by Clarissa

There was no specific instance that I went from feeling different to embracing my racial identity

Rather, over time I realized that the differences I felt are really the unique characteristics that make me, well, me I experienced the gift of individuality

A mural

That’s what I realized it feels like to be a multiracial individual. Being multiracial does not mean that you have to blend in to feel accepted It means you have the ability to appreciate your racial differences and recognize what a blessing they are I now embrace the different colored paints, or rather characteristics and uniqueness from my cultures.

When I look in the mirror and see myself, I see the beauty of my races intertwined

I appreciate my brown, almond-shaped eyes that help me to see the world, my dark, wavy hair that reminds me of my grandma, and my medium tan with a yellow undertone that expresses both sides of my family’s ancestry

Trying to blend in–that has been done by many

But painting a mural of yourself incorporating your personal background is something unique and beautiful, just like you

by Clarissa

The Outdated Oath

The other day, I volunteered to pass out pizza at my high school football game Before the game started, everyone turned and started the pledge.

I stood there, dumbfounded, as everyone proudly recited this pledge they knew by heart I was unaware of this tradition, as I immigrated here seven years ago and had never attended a football game until then

I felt a sense of exclusion for not relating to, knowing, or reciting the pledge like everyone else. However, I felt that some of the other people taking the pledge also didn’t fully identify with it; specifically, the “under God” part

by Freya

Many of my good friends have told me that they are atheists. Yet they go along with this pledge that doesn’t represent their beliefs. Why?

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Initially composed over a century ago in 1892 by a socialist Christian minister named Francis Bellamy, this pledge was intended to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America.

The original statement was meant to be used globally, for any country, to spread the United States’ ideals of democracy, as it did not specify to which flag a person was pledging. The initial line read as follows:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.”

“Indivisible” references the unity achieved through the American Civil War, while “liberty” and “justice” represent core ideals of democracy However, three decades later, a key change was made

Instead of pledging to “my flag,” the speaker is pledging to “the Flag of the United States of America.”

After these two major revisions, the modern pledge of allegiance states:

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Although not legally required, many public and private schools still use the pledge today

Students cannot be forced to recite the pledge because that would violate their First Amendment freedom of speech, but there is still very much a social requirement. Another term to describe this phenomenon is peer pressure The peer pressure is so strong that no one complains about being incorrectly represented. The unspoken condition is, if you do not take the pledge, you are not truly American.

Representation is a pillar of the democracy that America holds so dear If I am not represented within this pledge, why should I pledge it? Why should I claim to be something I am not? I shouldn’t. I won’t. Either the contents of the pledge has to change to fit the vast diversity in this country, or the social culture has to change so that the people of America, me included, can comfortably express themselves, including their religion.

This edit was targeted at immigrants, to ensure their loyalty to the United States rather than their home country in a nationalistic, post-WW1 world.

In 1954, during the Cold War, President Eisenhower persuaded Congress to add “one nation under God” to the pledge in the face of Communism and for the sake of patriotism.

As for me, I appreciate the fact that the pledge of allegiance is not legally required and I will continue to speak against its current form until I feel comfortable vowing myself to the United States. Join me.

The next time you are in a situation where people are pledging allegiance to the flag, ask yourself:

Do I believe in these words?

by Freya