YES! Weekly - October 28, 2020

‘Our art is proof of our existence and our resistance’ The Transparency Project amplifies transgender artists

BEN ROBERTS

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Anna Dominguez

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BIG SOMETHING

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020 VOLUME 16, NUMBER 44

16 5500 Adams Farm Lane Suite 204 Greensboro, NC 27407 Office 336-316-1231 Fax 336-316-1930

TRANSPARENCY PROJECT

Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor KATIE MURAWSKI katie@yesweekly.com Contributors IAN MCDOWELL KATEI CRANFORD

JORDAN T. ROBINSON of JTR Presents, is an aspiring art curator that uplifts marginalized artists and communities, and his upcoming virtual exhibition with co-curator LARA AMERICO does just that by spotlighting transgender art through “The Transparency Project.”

MARK BURGER JIM LONGWORTH

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Like many businesses in the Triad, we have lost revenue.

PRODUCTION Graphic Designers ALEX FARMER designer@yesweekly.com AUSTIN KINDLEY artdirector@yesweekly.com

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DISTRIBUTION JANICE GANTT KYLE MUNRO SHANE MERRIMAN ANDREW WOMACK We at YES! Weekly realize that the interest of our readers goes well beyond the boundaries of the Piedmont Triad. Therefore we are dedicated to informing and entertaining with thought-provoking, debate-spurring, in-depth investigative news stories and features of local, national and international scope, and opinion grounded in reason, as well as providing the most comprehensive entertainment and arts coverage in the Triad. YES! Weekly welcomes submissions of all kinds. Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however YES! Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. YES! Weekly is published every Wednesday by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1.00. Copyright 2020 Womack Newspapers, Inc.

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University of North Carolina at Greensboro senior NAIMA SAID podcasts about horror films, and one day, she intends to make one.

6 Originally titled The Ballad of Audrey Earnshaw, THE CURSE OF AUDREY EARNSHAW is a brooding supernatural thriller about adolescent angst, religious oppression, and not-so-divine retribution.

7 Thanks to this year’s legislative exercise in GERRYMANDERING, the newly formed 13th congressional district now stretches across all or part of 10 counties...

10 The vote on the HISTORIC RESOLUTION was 7-2, with District 4’s Nancy Hoff-

man and Representative At-Large Marikay Abuzuaiter the dissenters. Unlike the seven members of the city council who voted for the resolution...

12 Greensboro writer BEN ROBERTS admits he and his co-creators were trepidatious about launching a new comic book in the midst of a pandemic.

13 On the morning of Oct. 15, the first day of early voting in North Carolina, Andrew Willis Garcés of Siembra NC massemailed a media release with the subject

line ‘Greensboro Latinos Warn of Attempted INTIMIDATION by ‘Poll Monitor’ at Voting Precinct.”

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ANNA DOMINGUEZ’s widow, Maquaito Dominguez, 39, wants to know what happened to her wife in less than three hours of being held at the Greensboro Detention Center.

18 “I may be—“ said the TRANS CIVIL RIGHTS activist Sylvia Rivera, as she was

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interupted by a booing crowd of predominately white, cisgender gay men and lesbian women at the 1973 Christopher Street Liberation Rally in New York City.

“Y’all better quiet down,” she said as the booing from the crowd continued.

21 With the recent confirmation of AMY CONEY BARRETT to the United States Supreme Court on Monday night, many Americans with pre-existing conditions...

22 BIG SOMETHING will scare up the jams with an online Halloween special on Oct. 30, followed by a couple of sociallydistanced drive-in shows, starting Nov. 6, as part of the drive-in concert series at the Drive at Winston-Salem Fairgrounds.

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Podcaster Naima Said on being a Muslim-American ‘Hijabi horror enthusiast’

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niversity of North Carolina at Greensboro senior Naima Said podcasts about horror films, and one day, she intends to make one.

“I want to be the Ian McDowell Hijabi horror Tarantino,” Said told YES! Weekly, referring to Contributor both her status as a Muslim “covered woman” and her desire to make a film combining genre tropes with personal vision.

While those who’ve never heard Quentin Tarantino talk about his favorite horror films may not associate the writer/ director with that genre, Said cited the nerve-wracking sequence in Once Upon a Time . . . in Hollywood, in which Brad Pitt’s

Cliff Booth visits the Spahn Ranch. “That was truly petrifying. Nothing bad ended up happening to Cliff, but that only made it more intense and exhausting due to knowing where he’s at what’s to come.

That movie is one of my 10 favorite films.”

Films covered by Said’s Heeere’s NeeNee! Horror Movie Podcast, which she’s been doing since last December, includes Pascal Laugier’s controversial “New French Extremity” shocker Martyrs, Jennifer Kent’s The Babadook, and what Said calls the “Best Horror film of 2019”, Ari Aster’s Midsommar. But other episodes feature Bong Joon-Ho’s Oscar-winning black comedy Parasite and Denis Villeneuve’s critically-lauded contemplative science fiction film Arrival, suggesting that Said doesn’t feel bound by strict genre definitions.

Although she was born and raised in Greensboro, where she went to Page High School before attending UNCG, her family is from Sheepshead Bay, and the accent

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of that Brooklyn neighborhood comes out when she’s excited. “We still go to New York annually, and before I was in college, I would do it two or three times a year. My dad is Palestinian, but you can hear my Italian mom in me when I get worked up.”

That happens when she talks about a popular BBC children’s show about four creatures that, for Said, are more horrifying than Chucky, Jason or Freddy. When interviewed at Nazareth Bread Company, the popular Greensboro restaurant her father owns, her large eyes flashed, and she gesticulated dramatically as she passionately expounded on what she calls “the extreme horror of Teletubbies.”

“I was a little kid, and we were visiting New York, and one night I begged my parents to let me watch Chupacabra: Dark Skies, a Sci-Fi Channel original. I’m talking about the old Sci-Fi, not the trash channel it is now that spells its name with two Ys.” Her parents refused, fearing the monster movie might scare Said’s sister. “They said we were going to watch what she wanted to watch, and what she wanted to watch was Teletubbies. I swear, Ian, nothing in my life ever horrified me as much as that damn show! I thought, what the Hell is this? Why is the sun a horrifying giant baby head? What are these awful creatures? It scared the absolute Hell out of me.”

Said started watching horror movies when she was five. “My parents liked horror films, but obviously not to the extent that I ended up loving them. I originally started watching with them because I wanted to be like them, but before long, I was obsessed in a way they weren’t.”

A formative film was Child’s Play, writer/ director Tom Holland’s 1988 supernatural

slasher about Chucky, a possessed doll.

“It’s the first movie I remember scaring the Hell out of me, but unlike some kids who get really scared by a film, I loved it.

Horror movies became my Nickelodeon.”

From the simpler scares of Chucky and Sci-Fi originals, she gradually progressed to more mature content.

“I used to carry a little golden notebook with me, in which I wrote down the titles of films I’d watched and the actors that were in them, so I could draw connections.

And then, when I was in high school. I saw Eli Roth’s Hostel. It made me a big fan of his work, although I know it’s debatable just how skilled a filmmaker he is.”

But she also reveres some much older films.

“Hitchcock’s Psycho is such a masterpiece. On a grittier and more exploitation level, I love the original 1983 Sleepaway Camp. I love the endings of both it and Psycho. A good ending can mean so much.

I also love Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist, and the original Suspiria. I so wish I could go back in time and watch those films when they first came out, and I could see them with no prior knowledge, just like the rest of the audience. It would be such a different experience from watching horror now, and I don’t think it’s anything we can ever recapture.”

None of her friends are as obsessed as she is. “I used to drive everyone I knew crazy by always talking about horror films, every day, year-round. A lot of my friends don’t love horror as much as I do. They may like it, but they don’t necessarily live for it, and they can get bored or annoyed.”

This led to her podcast.

“It was a way of talking to a volunteer audience, one that actually wants to

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hot pour PRESENTS

[BARTENDERS OF THE WEEK | BY NATALIE GARCIA] Check out videos on our Facebook!

BARTENDER: Nima Navpanahi BAR: Currently without a Bar Home, but still looking for the right fit.

AGE: 37 WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I was born in Jacksonville, Florida, and moved to the High Point/Greensboro area when I was 11.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BARTENDING? Since the day I turned 21. First time legally bartending was at JP Looney’s in Greensboro and within a very short time became one of the favorites.

listen to me, rather than just put up with it because they’re my friends and family, that actually want to sit down and listen to my words. But I also sit down and write stuff and say it out loud so I can go back and remember it, so I can read and know what my thoughts were on a particular film. If I have kids and they enjoy horror, I want to pass my love for the genre on to them. So, that’s why I started podcasting.

It was never to become famous, but a way to have an outlet nobody else would give me. It’s nice to know that my thoughts and my knowledge are being put to good use.”

Said knows that, as what she calls “a Muslim-American Hijabi Woman,” she’s not anyone’s idea of a typical horror connoisseur. “That makes me fairly unique in the field, being that and talking about horror films. Muslim American Hijabi Horror Film enthusiast is not something you see every day, but it’s something I take a lot of pride in being.”

She dreams of every day turning her nightmares into a horror film.

“One incorporating everything I’ve learned from every scary subgenre, but which draws on my own experiences and secret thoughts. A film not only written and directed by me but in which I act, something I’m pretty sure I can do better than Tarantino or Eli Roth. I love performWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

ing, but it’s not easy for a covered woman to get roles in America.”

Anyone who hears her talk can guess that she’s a theater kid who loved doing plays in high school. “But it’s easier for me to be a filmmaker than a stage actress.

Maybe one day, it will be easier for a covered woman to act on the stage, but that day’s not here yet. Even in an industry that prides itself on diversity, they still ask me to take my scarf off. But writing and directing my own work gives me a better chance to get my foot in the door than auditioning.”

Our conversation ended with Said describing what the genre she loves has done for her.

“Horror films have gotten me through a lot in my life. When I was going through really difficult times and struggles, I would watch a horror film and realize that, hey, these people are going through much worse than I have, and that’s why I’m going to be okay, because I could be them, and I’m not, and I need to learn to appreciate life. And that’s why I’ve been so fond of horror films ever since.” !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

HOW DID YOU BECOME A BARTENDER? I was already the head server at JP Looney’s when I turned 21, and had put in my required time as a server there so I was next in line to move up to bartender. At first, they were hesitant to put me behind the bar because I was their head server, and because they were afraid that “being confined to a small area and not able to leave the bar” would be impossible for me (since I was constantly walking and checking the entire restaurant for things that needed to be done). We quickly found out that I caught on very fast and, instead, thrived behind the bar, so much so that I was not only allowed, but regularly scheduled exclusively, for shifts that would otherwise require at least two bartenders.

The busier I was, the more I thrived. And I always made it fun, no matter the volume.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY ABOUT BARTENDING? Almost everything! My favorite thing is being able to turn someone’s day around, or turn their bad day into something bearable, maybe even good! I really enjoy “slingin’ drinks” for sheer volume, but I also love tending weddings, and making someone’s “most special day” even more special and memorable, simply by taking those “extra” little steps and personal touches that I consider part off my job to make sure they’re happy.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DRINK TO MAKE? A proper Bloody Mary. From scratch.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DRINK TO DRINK? A proper Bloody Mary, or a really unique one.

Also a well made Old Fashioned.

WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND AS AN AFTER-DINNER DRINK? It really depends on the person and on the meal.

I recommend fernet-branca, if you’re brave, Limoncello or

Sambucca (with the coffee bean trinity) after a good Italian meal. Authentic Grappa, but only if you’re outside the U.S. Also, a Cafe au Lait, simple espresso, or even a port or ice wine can compliment the right dessert.

WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE SEEN WHILE BARTENDING? Oh, man! I’ve seen a LOT of crazy! One of the craziest has to be a wedding reception I was working (we won’t say where). The bride and groom hired the venue (me included), the caterers, the DJ and so on, and ordered food, drinks, and service for 90 people. Of course, drinks and food were prepared for about 100 guests, plus extra for any return trips and staff, which would typically be more than adequate. Guests start arriving, more guests, and finally, an hour late, and 3/4 through all of the appetizers, beer, wine and cocktails allowed for their package, the bride and groom show up. Along with another 50 or so people. Long story short, we find out as the bride takes the microphone from the DJ to pull her seating chart out and angrily tell half the people there what seat they’re supposed to be in, and the other half to leave because they were only invited to the ceremony. The ones that were not supposed to be invited to the reception weren’t actually told not to come, so they showed up assuming they were invited, as is the norm. The bride and groom thought that they could trick people into showing up and bringing gifts, and kick them out before the food and drinks started, but they didn’t specify any of that to the ones prepping and serving the food and drinks, which were very limited for the remaining guests they still needed to entertain. Luckily I was allowed to leave that event early, since I was the “opener” that day, so I can only image how much worse it got. Needless to say, tips weren’t great that shift.

WHAT’S THE BEST TIP YOU’VE EVER GOTTEN? A repeat private gig (along with a $100 bill and a thank you).

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw: Yes, there will be blood

O Mark Burger

Contributor

riginally titled The Ballad of Audrey Earnshaw, The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw is a brooding supernatural thriller about adolescent angst, religious op-

pression, and not-so-divine retribution.

The sophomore feature of executive producer/writer/director Thomas Robert Levy bears some resemblance to the works of Ari Aster, who after only two features – 2018’s Hereditary and 2019’s Midsommar – has established himself as a bold new voice in horror. Levy isn’t quite at that level, but he clearly brings a distinctive eye to the genre. He’s a talent to watch.

The setting is a religious community in

Canada, one that forsakes many of the luxuries of contemporary life. The year the film takes place is 1973 but might well be a century before.

Crops are failing, farm animals are inexplicably dying, and the residents appear to be in the throes of a physical and psychological malady. The only prosperous farm is that of Agatha Earnshaw (Catherine Walker), a reclusive widow whom many believe is a witch.

Agatha also has a 17-year-old daughter, the titular Audrey (newcomer Jessica Reynolds), whom she has somehow managed to keep a secret from everyone – although rumors about her existence have circulated for years. Whatever powers Agatha may possess, Audrey’s are even stronger – and as befits the rebelliousness of youth, she’s ready to unleash them.

One irony is that Agatha wasn’t necessarily protecting Audrey from their neighbors as protecting their neighbors from her.

Another is that the ignorance and piety of those neighbors leave them vulnerable to their own worst instincts. Audrey doesn’t so much destroy them as they destroy themselves – with a little help from her, of course.

The atmosphere and mood are among the film’s stronger suits. The muted cinematography by Nick Thomas nicely enhances the mounting undercurrent of dread, which builds steadily. Reynolds and Walker, both well cast, enjoy some intense exchanges, and Reynolds nicely conveys

Audrey’s realization of her own powers as she begins to assert herself.

The inevitable bloodbath delivers the gory goods, but the specific details are a bit sketchy. Logic isn’t necessarily required in a horror film, but the ending isn’t so much ambiguous as puzzling.

Yet, flaws and all, The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw is a worthy effort. Horror fans will not be disappointed.

The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw is available on VOD/Digital via the following platforms: indemand, Comcast, Spectrum, Charter, Dish, Sling TV, Vubiquity, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, Xbox, YouTube, Amazon, Fandango Now, DirecTV, Breaker, and Alamo On Demand. !

Monsters, Inc. a free holiday treat at Marketplace Drive-In The RiverRun International Film Festival will present a free screening of Disney’s animated blockbuster Monsters, Inc. (2001) Friday at the Marketplace Cinemas Drive-In, 2095 Peters Creek Parkway, Winston-Salem.

Tickets are available only at Mast General Store, 516 N. Trade St., WinstonSalem, which is sponsoring the event and must be picked up in advance of the screening, which is scheduled to begin at 7 p.m. Friday. (Gates open at 6:15 p.m.).

The star-studded voice-over cast includes John Goodman, Billy Crystal, James Coburn, Steve Buscemi, Jennifer Tilly, Bonnie Hunt, Mary Gibbs (in her debut), and Pixar perennial John Ratzenberger. In addition to amassing a worldwide box-office gross of almost $600 million, the film won the Oscar YES! WEEKLY

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for Best Song (“If I Didn’t Have You”) and was nominated for Best Animated Feature, Best Original Score, and Best Sound Editing.

“The RiverRun team is thrilled to offer this free community event as the kick-off to the Halloween weekend,” said Tiffany Jones, RiverRun’s development director.

“We are equally honored to partner with long-time RiverRun sponsor Mast General Store to offer the family-friendly screening of the beloved film Monsters, Inc. as a free event. Be sure to pick up tickets as soon as possible from Mast General!”

The official RiverRun International Film Festival website is www.riverrunfilm. com/. !

See MARK BURGER’s reviews of current movies on Burgervideo.com. © 2020, Mark Burger.

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voices

Huffman challenges Budd in newly formed 13th district

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hanks to this year’s legislative exercise in gerrymandering, the newly formed 13th congressional district now stretches across all or part of 10 Jim Longworth counties, including Longworth Alamance, Caswell, Chatham, Davidson, at Large Davie, Iredell, Lee, Person, Randolph, and Rowan. What hasn’t changed is the political make-up of the district, which, like its predecessor, remains strongly Republican. That’s why incumbent Congressman Ted Budd elected to stick with the new district, and this time around, he is being challenged by Democrat Scott Huffman. Budd is a businessman from Davie County, and Huffman is a Navy veteran and small business owner from Rowan.

Earlier this month, the two men appeared together for a taping of Triad Today.

What follows are highlights of that discussion: JL: Experts predict a huge surge in COVID-19 cases this Fall. Should Congress

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enact a nationwide mask mandate?

TB: Absolutely not. Individuals are smart. We know a lot more than we did since February. People can be sensitive to their situation. If they have someone sick at home, someone with a co-morbidity, then certainly there’s a sensitivity for a mask, but there are other situations where it’s not necessary, and I want to leave it up to individuals’ intelligence.

SH: Absolutely, because if the death of 214,000 Americans are not enough to convince this President and Ted Budd that we need to wear a mask, then obviously, science and the experts should. Almost 400 people in this district have already died from this pandemic.

JL: Speaking of health care, do you support Medicare for All? SH: Absolutely, because if anything, this pandemic has shown that so many people have lost their health care due to no fault of their own because we don’t have leadership in Washington telling people to respect science, listen to the evidence and wear a mask. So yes, we need to make sure everybody has health care; that way, they can go to the doctor, get the services that they need, and not worry about going in debt if they don’t have health care.

TB: Absolutely not. I don’t think it’s actually merciful. Look, the bottom line is, we want more people to have access to really high-quality health care at an affordable price. I don’t think that defining people below the poverty line is a very merciful way, which is what Medicare/Medicaid does.

Also, a lot of great doctors that everyone needs access to don’t take Medicaid.

JL: Senators Warren and Schumer have proposed that we forgive college student loan debt up to $50,000. Do you support that proposal?

TB: I think we need to be very intelligent when people take on debt. I think they need to understand how they’re going to repay it; for example, is the degree they’re actually taking on debt for going to be able to repay itself? I think there are ways out, but I do not believe in all debt forgiveness because it leads to a lot of bad incentives.

SH: If we can give tax breaks to the top two percent, then we can help out those at the bottom who are struggling to pay for their education. I believe we need to forgive some of that because we’ve forgiven so much at the top. People are out of work right now, they can’t pay their health care bill, they can’t pay off their education, so we need to help them. And right now, we’re not

doing enough.

JL: What one thing did you learn from your parents that will help you be an effective Congressman?

SH: I think the fact that my mother was a single mom raising three kids, working as a truck stop waitress in Salisbury, helped define my working-class values and how I want to help folks in the district. And that’s why I’m running. I’m running to be that public servant listening to the voice who are screaming out loud in our district that needs help.

TB: I had a granddad who was born in 1890, died in 1953, and I never got to know him. He had a saying, which is, “Just do what you say you’re going to do.” That was his motto, my Dad’s motto, and my motto.

I’ve done what I said I was going to do, and I look forward to continuing that.

(Watch the full discussion on Triad Today, this Saturday at 7:30 a.m. on abc45, and Sunday at 11 a.m. on MY48) For more information about the candidates, visit www.scotthuffman.com and www.tedbudd.com !

JIM LONGWORTH is the host of Triad Today, airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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leisure THE WEIRDOAMERICAN COMMUNITY

An unnamed 28-year-old man in search of a voluntary castration found himself drawn to a website offering such services, which led Chuck Shepherd him to travel from Virginia to a cabin in the woods of Poteau, Oklahoma. There, on Oct. 12, Bob Lee Allen, 53, and Thomas Evans Gates, 42, allegedly relieved the victim of his testicles during a two-hour surgery, The Oklahoman reported. Allen told the victim that he has “a freezer of body parts” and that “he was going to consume the parts and laughed and said that he was a cannibal,” an affidavit said.

The day following the operation, Allen took the victim to the hospital because he was bleeding badly, but cautioned him to say “he done it to himself.” The hospital contacted police, and investigators searched the property, finding suspected body parts in a deep freeze. Allen and Gates were charged with multiple felonies and misdemeanors, including conspiracy

to commit unlicensed surgery and failure to bury the body parts.

QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENT

Tynette Housley, 73, of Black Forest, Colorado, was cited by Colorado Parks and Wildlife officials after her “pet” deer attacked and gored a neighbor who was out walking her dog on Oct. 16. The buck, now sporting two-pronged antlers, was taken in

by Housley when it was just a few days old and raised as a pet. The victim tried to run first to another neighbor’s home, then to her own, but the buck repeatedly knocked her down and gored her. A CPW officer euthanized the deer and took it for testing for rabies and other diseases. “We can’t say it enough: Wild animals are not pets,” said Frank McGee, CPW’s area wildlife manager.

Housley was charged with illegal possession and illegal feeding of wildlife.

MAN’S BEST FRIEND

— Veterinary researchers at the University of Helsinki have been testing whether dogs can sniff out COVID-19, and Anna Hielm-Bjorkman has the good news: They can. With almost 100% accuracy. “A dog could easily save so, so, so many lives,” she told DW. A pilot program at the Helsinki

Airport is having travelers wipe their wrists or neck with a cloth, which the trained dogs then sniff. They can identify the virus up to five days before any symptoms appear. People who test positive at the voluntary canine site are directed to the airport’s medical unit for confirmation.

Hielm-Bjorkman said travelers have been eager to participate, waiting up to an hour in line.

— On the Italian island of Sardinia, farmer Cristian Mallocci welcomed a litter of five dogs on Oct. 9, Fox News reported.

Among them was a special pup — one with green fur, which Mallocci immediately named Pistachio. The other four dogs had white fur, like their mom. Green puppies are rare, but not unheard-of; scientists think it happens when the puppy makes contact with a green pigment in the womb.

Pistachio’s color has faded since his birth, but he’ll keep his name, and Mallocci will keep him to help look after sheep on the farm.

FAMILY VALUES

Twifi, a startup internet provider in Switzerland, posted a Facebook ad with a compelling offer to parents-to-be: Name your child Twifus (for a boy) or Twifia

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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] (for a girl) in exchange for 18 years of free internet service. And sure enough, KidSpot. com reported, one young couple bit, giving their daughter the rewarding middle name. “The more I thought about it, the more unique the name became to me, and that’s when the thing acquired its charm,” the baby’s dad, 35, said. Mom went even deeper: “For me, the name Twifia also stands for connection in this context. The more often we say ‘Twifia,’ the heartier the name sounds!”

INEXPLICABLE

A 17-year-old was taken into custody, and to the hospital, after he caused a disturbance at a Petro Deli north of Topeka, Kansas, on Oct. 17. The teen, who was naked except for the ranch dressing smeared all over his body, damaged merchandise in the store, then ran out and jumped in a running car, which he crashed into a pillar, WIBW-TV reported. Investigators said he was “under the influence of a substance.”

He was released to the custody of his parents. !

© 2020 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate.

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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Hoffmann and Abuzuaiter won’t apologize for Greensboro Massacre *Editor’s note: This article was originally published online on Oct. 16. It has been updated for the print version.

Correction: District 4 City Council Representative Ian McDowell Nancy Hoffmann’s last name was misspelled when Contributor this article was first published. The correct spelling of her last name has been updated.

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n Oct. 6, the Greensboro City Council voted to issue an official apology for the events of the Greensboro Massacre on Nov. 3, 1979. That is the infamous date when labor organizers Cesar Cauce, Dr. James Waller, Dr. Michael Nathan, William Sampson and Sandra Neely Smith were murdered in broad daylight by a caravan of white supremacists. The murderers were led to their victims, who were taking part in a Communist Workers Party “Death to the Klan” march, by Klansman and police informant Edward Dawson.

The vote on the historic resolution was 7-2, with District 4’s Nancy Hoffman and Representative At-Large Marikay Abuzuaiter the dissenters. Unlike the seven members of the city council who voted for the resolution, Hoffmann and Abuzuaiter declared their belief that the Greensboro Police Department should not be blamed for the massacre.

As reported in the 2019 YES! Weekly article ‘A North American Death Squad,’ on the morning of the murders, Edward Dawson informed his GPD handler, Detective “Rooster” Cooper, that a heavily-armed Klan/Nazi convoy was heading towards Morningside Homes, where the march was scheduled to begin. Dawson knew the location from the parade permit, which had been shared with him by the GPD. He then shared that information with the white supremacists, whose caravan he led.

Having learned from Dawson that Klansmen and Nazis were loading weapons into vehicles, Detective Cooper and GPD photographer J. T. Matthews located and followed the caravan, but stopped several blocks from its destination, and YES! WEEKLY

did nothing to prevent what is now known as the Greensboro Massacre.

In Nancy Hoffmann’s statement of why she voted against a formal apology, she compared herself to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and quoted Abraham Lincoln. Abuzuaiter cited her (and Hoffmann’s) work on the Greensboro Human Relations Commission’s 2008 report on the massacre, and stated that the 2009 city council vote to issue an expression of regret rather than an apology was a sufficient response.

Both Hoffmann and Abuzuaiter took issue with the second paragraph of the resolution, which stated: WHEREAS, Greensboro’s police department in 1979 (the “GPD”) along with other city personnel failed to warn the marchers of their extensive foreknowledge of the racist, violent attack planned against the marchers by members of the Ku Klux Klan and the American Nazi Party with the assistance of a paid GPD informant.

The full text of the Resolution of apology by the Greensboro City Council for the events that have come to be known as the “November. 3, 1979 Massacre” is available on YES! Weekly’s website. It includes the announcement that the City will award annual $1,979 scholarships to five graduating seniors of Dudley High School, given in the names of the five people

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

killed in the massacre, during the Annual Citywide Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day Breakfast.

Neither Abuzuaiter or Hoffmann expressed an objection to that part of the resolution. It was the declaration of the well-documented GPD complicity that caused their dissent.

“While the loss of life is tragic at any time,” Abuzuaiter said, “I believe the city administration and police department acted as best they could with the information they had. I cannot therefor vote in favor of the resolution in its current form.”

Abuzuaiter is a longtime fierce defender of the police. In 2013, Eric Ginsburg reported for YES! Weekly that GPD emails named Abuzuaiter as one of the department’s most trusted confidential informants. Hoffmann’s statement was more nuanced, but also rejected the notion of police complicity.

“I find myself this evening in the difficult and almost impossible position of being in support of a formal resolution of apology, but unable to support this resolution based on its language indicting the Greensboro police department and other city personnel for an event that occurred 41 years ago and which really has been exhaustively investigated.”

Hoffmann stated what she called

“legitimate reasons why the Truth and Reconciliation Process and its final report were rejected by former city councils in 2005 and 2007.” She then described the 1979 murders in terms that seemed to suggest the victims were also to blame, and that apologizing for their deaths then could undermine support for the current administration and police department.

“When angry, politically-motivated, inflammatory groups who spew hate and fear on both the left and the right choose to confront each other in a setting that puts others and a neighborhood in danger,” said Hoffmann, “it’s not only unacceptable, it’s despicable.”

On Thursday afternoon, this writer emailed Hoffmann the following question: “As you may be aware, people on social media have cited this as an example of victim-blaming. To choose one example, do you think that Sandra Neely Smith, the former Bennett College student body president shot in the head as she tried to get children to safety, was someone ‘spewing hate and fear’?”

To date, Hoffmann has not responded.

To a previous question, asking if she had considered the involvement of GPD informant Dawson before deciding to vote against the resolution, Hoffmann emailed:

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“My public statement is part of the record of the October 6, 2020 meeting of the Greensboro City Council that voted on a Resolution of Apology. You may request a copy of that from the City Clerk.”

In that public record, Hoffmann also made the following statement: “I wish this event had never occurred.

We always grieve the loss of life. But I find nothing in the contemporaneous reporting of this event that convinces me of collusion or malicious action or inaction on the part of the Greensboro Police Department or city personnel. I unequivocally reject the thinking that, while this resolution indicts a police department 41 years ago, that it does not impact our current police department and chief. The words of this resolution continue to place our police department and our city under a cloud of negativity as we strive to continue moving forward and making progress in all areas, particularly this year, which has been very difficult and challenging.”

Hoffmann concluded that statement by invoking two revered figures, one recently deceased, the other a famous president explaining why he did not believe in punishing the defeated Confederacy.

“The late Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s dissents became as meaningful as her majority opinions. While I do not come close to the brilliance of Justice Ginsburg, it is my sincere and heartfelt hope that my minority opinion is reflective of a great deal of study and reflects the positions of many of our citizens in this city and is in the best interest of the city. Finally, I think we would be wise to recall and heed the words of Abraham Lincoln in his second inaugural address. ‘With malice towards none, charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see right, let strive on to finish the work that we are in.’”

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Greensboro mayor Nancy Vaughan told YES! Weekly that the resolution was drafted by District 1’s Sharon Hightower, District 2’s Goldie Wells, District 5’s Tammi Thurm and herself over a period of weeks, and that “every council member had an opportunity for input.” Vaughan also said “I hope it gives some small comfort to the families of those killed and those injured that 41 years later the City recognizes the role the lack of police presence played in the outcome of that deadly day.”

When asked by YES! Weekly if the role played by Edward Dawson had been explicitly discussed by Council, Vaughan answered in the affirmative.

“We did. We acknowledged his existence in paragraph two. Since this wasn’t a report, we didn’t go into great detail about his role, but we knew that he had a copy of the parade permit. We knew that he was in conversation with the police. We knew that he had been in town in the days leading up to the March. He was one of the people found guilty in the civil trial.”

That last sentence was a reference to the 1980-1985 Federal Civil Rights lawsuit in which a Winston-Salem jury found two Klansmen, three Nazis, two Greensboro police officers, and police informant Dawson liable for the wrongful death of Dr. Michael Nathan, the one victim who was not a communist, and for injuries to survivors Paul Bermanzohn and Tom Clark (the jury refused to find any liability for the deaths of the four Communist Workers Party members). It was, to date, the only penalty to come out of the massacre.

The plaintiff attorneys who litigated that case included Flint Taylor of the People’s Law Office of Chicago, who is currently on the team suing the city, eight GPD officers and two paramedics for the fatal hogtying of Marcus Deon Smith at

the 2018 NC Folk Festival. It also included now-retired civil rights attorney Lewis Pitts, Jr, a longtime critic of the GPD and City Council.

Pitts gave YES! Weekly the following statement condemning what he described as false statements made by Hoffmann and Abuzuaiter.

“Both dissenters espoused sheer nonsense. Abuzuaiter several years ago was exposed as working as a confidential informant for the GPD. She lied and claimed her computer had been hacked.

She always votes to coverup police misconduct. Hoffman cited old, outdated ‘reports’ that were part of the coverup of the police having extensive prior knowledge of the planned violent attack. She ignored the vast amount of undisputed evidence of that prior knowledge, much from the words of police officials themselves, that the federal civil rights trial revealed in 1985 and that has been well-documented by the Greensboro Truth and Reconciliation Commission and other sources. She tried to hide her nonsense by wrapping herself in the names of RBG and President Lincoln. Abuzuaiter and Hoffmann should be recused from any council votes dealing with police accountability, if not removed from council, because of their blinding biases.”

Guilford for All steering committee member Casey Thomas also told YES! Weekly she was appalled by Abuzuaiter and Hoffmann’s statements.

“The city council apologizing for the Greensboro Massacre is an important step because the truth matters, and because our elders have been fighting for a simple ‘we’re sorry’ for so long. This was an apology owed not only to the victims and survivors of the Greensboro Massacre, but also to the people of this city, whose rela-

tionship to the police department and local government has been damaged by the violence in 1979 and dishonesty since. The council people who decided to make the apology did a good and necessary thing.

Apologies are the first step towards healing, when followed by changed behavior, which I very much hope to see in the form of increased police accountability. Marikay Abuzuaiter and Nancy Hoffmann, the two hold-outs, told us a lot about themselves, their values and the weight Black lives hold with them. Nancy Hoffmann said that the truth lies between two sideswhen the two sides are the survivors of the Greensboro Massacre, and the Klan and Nazis. She called the victims and survivors of the massacre despicable, and blamed them for the Klan’s violence, implying that they shouldn’t have been as confrontational. We cannot have people making decisions about policing, or anything else that impacts Black people in Greensboro who think like that.”

Update After this article was published, Marikay Abuzuaiter sent the following response: “As stated in our Council meeting, I was on the Truth and Reconciliation Review Committee of the Human Relations Commission in 2008. Mrs. Hoffman was on the Human Relations Commission at that time. We were tasked to read and review the 3 reports: ‘Report of The Citizens Review Committee’, the ‘Human Relations Commission Report’, and the ‘Truth and Reconciliation Commission Report’ and to come up with a statement that reflected everyone’s regret that the incidents on Nov. 3, 1979 were a tragedy. While I reviewed the entire Truth and Reconciliation report, I was tasked to stay true to the request at hand. The statement of regret was the end result to our committee’s research. I believe it very important to note that all 3 reports expressed that the outcome of that day was not the result of one party’s involvement that day but that all parties played a role. I would also like it noted that the apology expressed from the dais by Mrs. Sharon Hightower on August 15, 2017, was well-received by Council and passed on a 7-1 vote. We all expressed that we were sorry that something like the Nov. 3, 1979, tragedy could have happened in our City. I could not, however, vote for the recent resolution of apology that stated that the carnage of Nov. 3, 1979, was solely the responsibility of the city leaders and the Greensboro Police Department.” !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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Greensboro comics writer collaborates on ‘Children of the Grave’ Greensboro writer Ben Roberts admits he and his co-creators were trepidatious about launching a new comic book in the midst of a pandemic.

“If you had asked me back in April, I Ian McDowell would’ve said I was certain that this was the death knell of Contributor the comic industry as we know it,” Roberts wrote in a recent email. “But now things look significantly brighter.”

Because his day job is at Acme Comics, he has more of an insider’s perspective than creators who only visit comic shops to do signings or buy books.

“I can’t speak for other stores, but I can say that Acme has come back exceptionally strong. People are looking for things to do, and comics offer a safe way to find entertainment that you cannot currently find elsewhere. Movie theaters are either still closed or aren’t able to operate in a way that people want them to, and comics offer something a little different than turning on your T.V. and clicking through Netflix.”

But he admits that it’s an unsettling time to be launching Children of the Grave, the new series he created with co-writer Sam Romesburg and artist Gioele Filippo.

“It’s a very strange feeling, but I’m glad we’re partnered up with Scout Comics to release this book. While many stores were closed during the non-essential shutdown, Scout devised a plan to split profits from their web store with local comic shops if customers stated what shop was their home shop. I think this little bit of extra effort and care went a long way to comic book retailers forming a trustworthy alliance with Scout and the product that they offer.”

Roberts and Romesburg, who lives in Maryland, have known each other for years, having met while on tour as musicians. I asked Roberts who first suggested they collaborate on the idea that became Children of the Grave, which Roberts describes as “gruesome sci-fi horror with a tear-jerking story about family hidden at its core.”

“It happened two years ago,” Roberts wrote. “Sam had been doing the convenYES! WEEKLY

tion circuit promoting his western series Among the Willows, and we had reconnected at HeroesCon in Charlotte. He contacted me back in 2018 about an idea he had for a story. The initial pitch was much from how the book developed, but the core elements were always there. I’ve always been a writer but had never done anything like this. Over time the story became an awesome amalgamation of his core concept and a lot of new ideas that we developed together.”

Roberts described their collaborative process: “Many times, Sam and I would get on a Skype call and start shooting ideas at one another. We’d take those notes and build a framework of a plot off of it. Working off the same script document, we were able to go in behind one another and change something if someone saw it one way.

There were a lot of drafts, some that may have leaned toward one writer’s voice

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

over another, but our final draft is a pretty perfect blend of both of our voices.”

Neither writer had met artist Gioele Filippo prior to this project. Penciler and inker Filippo lives in Padova, Italy, where he graduated from the prestigious Scuola Internazionale di Comics. Children of the Grave is Filippo’s first United States work.

“Gioele has really been a huge blessing throughout this project. We began searching for artists and came across Gio was on Instagram. Children of the Grave is a violent book, and we need someone who could handle both scenes of gruesome terror and the more heartfelt moments. The chemistry was there, and I’m happy to say that the three of us have become great friends while working together.”

Finding a publisher wasn’t easy.

“In music, it’s not unheard of to selfrelease and do fine without a label backing you. In comics, it’s much more difficult.

Self-published comics happen all the time,

of course, but it’s harder to get your material into shops. We sent out pitches to a lot of publishers and received many rejections.

Luckily, we’ve gotten the chance to work with Scout Comics for a national release.”

As with many comics readers of my generation, the first writer I was aware of was Stan Lee, soon followed by Roy Thomas on The Avengers and then Conan the Barbarian. I asked Roberts about the first writer whose name he can recall attracting him to a book. He replied that, while comics had been part of his life ever since his parents bought a DC comics subscription when he was very young, it wasn’t until he was in college and buying comics at Acme that he became a fan of a specific writer.

“I read Garth Ennis’ Preacher in almost one sitting and was floored by how it connected with me. Some of it may be dated, but there’s a clear message that strikes a certain chord with me. I tend to lean towards the more harsh and blunt writers.

Jason Aaron’s work with Scalped is another writer/series combo that helped shape how I wanted to write.”

Roberts also wrote that working at Acme has affected his view of the industry. “It’s easy to get swept up in your imagination and the winding roads which you can take your story down. As a retailer, I’ve learned what sells, and many times it’s not the ‘epic’ that every writer dreams of delivering into the world to great praise. I’ve seen stories come and go without much appreciation, and I’ve seen some of the worst of the worst become top sellers. It’s really about cultivating an audience and delivering to them the type of story you know they want.”

Roberts said that, although almost all comics creators work from their home offices or studios these days, so it doesn’t really matter where you live, living in “Comic Book City” has still been a blessing.

“Greensboro does have a special sort of comic book community. We at Acme try to do what we can to keep the community and readership growing in our area. Not only is the readership large, but the number of comic book professionals in this area has given me the opportunity to make some very cool contacts and get in touch with people that I don’t think would have been available to me otherwise.” !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

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Siembra N.C. accuses Republican poll observer of ‘voter intimidation’ *Editor’s note: This article originally appeared online on Oct. 15. It has been updated for print.

On the morning of Oct. 15, the first day of early voting in North Carolina, Ian McDowell Andrew Willis Garcés of Siembra NC massemailed a media Contributor release with the subject line ‘Greensboro Latinos Warn of Attempted Intimidation by ‘Poll Monitor’ at Voting Precinct.”

It contained the following allegation.

Today at 8:45am a single Republican poll monitor menacingly stood less than four feet away from a group of eight Latino activists as they waited in the line to early vote. Although there were dozens of people in line who appeared Black and white, he stood across from the only Latinos, pointedly taking notes on a clipboard as they progressed up the line. The poll monitor refused to identify himself.

The email also stated that poll monitor “approached the group only after they began audibly talking and laughing in Spanish, walking out of the UNCG precinct in order to hover over them.”

According to the media release, the group allegedly approached by the poll observer included Laura Garduño Garcia, a Greensboro DACA recipient who, along with other Siembra members, was accompanying an 18-year-old first-time voter to the polls.

“As voter intimidation goes,” the release quoted Garcia as saying, “this was ‘amateur hour’, but it’s a good reminder that conservative activists will do anything to keep Latinos from voting. Standing over us taking notes is not going to discourage a group of activists. But it’s these kinds of small acts that add up to voter suppression, especially when our people vote alone.”

The alleged incident occurred at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro Kaplan Center for Wellness at 1301 Gate City Blvd., where any registered (or registering) voter in Guilford County can vote during the early voting period of Oct. 15-31.

The media release was accompanied by photos of a white-haired white man in WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

a dark blue vest and blue button-down shirt, wearing a lanyard badge reading “REPUBLICAN POLL OBSERVER”.

Designated poll observers are given complete access to all polling places in Guilford County. Each party is allowed to have to observers on site at any given time

At 11:30 a.m. on Oct. 15, I approached a man observing the line of voters outside the Kaplan Center, who appeared to be identical to the one in the Siembra NC photo, and wore the same badge. When I identified myself and asked him if he was aware of the allegations in the Siembra NC media release, he gave no response.

When asked for a comment, he shook his head. When asked to identify himself, he shook his head several more times.

At 12:16 p.m. on Oct. 15, I called the office of the Guilford County Republican Party, located at 5500 West Friendly Ave. The receptionist initially seemed confused by my request to speak to a press or media contact, but eventually transferred the call to a woman who declined to give her name. When informed that YES! Weekly was seeking a response to the allegations by Siembra NC, she said, “I have idea what you’re talking about and cannot comment.” !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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Timeline of woman found ‘unresponsive’ at Greensboro Detention Center still unknown Questions surrounding the death of a queer Latinx Greensboro woman, who spent approximately three hours at the Guilford County Detention Center, have largely gone unanswered Katie Murawski

by Guilford Couty law enforcement officials for almost Editor two weeks.

On Oct. 16, according to a media release, the Guilford County Sheriff’s Office and Greensboro Detention Center staff discovered 24-year-old Hispanic female Anna Chris Dominguez unresponsive in her holding cell at 5:15 a.m.

“Life-saving measures were immediately rendered by detention staff, and Emergency Medical Services were activated,” the release stated. “Due to her level of intoxication, the Magistrates Office ordered her into the custody of the Guilford County Jail, and that she be brought back before them at 12 noon or when sober for a hearing and to sign a Written Promise to Appear.”

According to the Sheriff’s Office, Anna was transported to Moses H. Cone Memorial Hospital, where she was pronounced dead at 6:18 a.m. The investigation into her death is still ongoing.

Anna was arrested by the Greensboro Police Department on charges of “Driving While Intoxicated, Operating a Vehicle with No Insurance, Misdemeanor Simple Possession of a Controlled Substance Schedule IV, and Driving a Motor Vehicle with No Registration” at 1:02 a.m. and processed into the facility at 2:20 a.m.

Anna’s widow, Maquaito Dominguez, 39, wants to know what happened to her wife in less than three hours of being held at the Greensboro Detention Center.

“The way I found out was through the news,” Maquaito said of her wife’s death.

“Nobody called me because I wasn’t down as the emergency contact, so they had to find the next of kin. I was really hurt. I had seen it on the news, and I told my kids— I have three kids and three grandkids— and I was sitting here doing hair, and it popped up on my phone.”

Maquaito spoke to YES! Weekly by phone on Oct. 23 to share what she was told by the Guilford County Sheriff’s OfYES! WEEKLY

Photo of Maquaito and Anna Dominguez

fice in regards to her wife’s death.

“Here is what they told me,” she said. “[Detective Fleming] told me that they had found her passed out on the side of the road, but when they found her on the side of the road, she told them she was drinking alcohol and had took some Percocet. They took her into custody, she had to sit and do bloodwork, and when she got [the results], she didn’t have any alcohol in her blood system at all. So, how would you charge someone with a DWI if they are not driving, sitting on the side of the road, and they don’t have any alcohol in their system?”

Maquaito said that the officer who told her the details of Anna’s arrest “didn’t even know if [Anna] was just heavyset or intoxicated,” as the reason why “she was walking funny” during a

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

field sobriety test.

“She told me that Anna laid down at 2:20 a.m. and they watched her breathe,” Maquaito said. “But after that, at 2:30 a.m., she had taken her last breath, so what in the world were y’all doing from 2:30 to 5:15 a.m.?”

Maquaito also noted that Anna had a fractured rib, which she said could have happened while EMS was trying to revive her.

“I don’t understand what is going on, and how but that stuff didn’t feel right with me,” Maquaito said of what law enforcement officials told her of Anna’s last few hours alive.

According to a Triad City Beat article

by Jordan Green published on Oct. 23, Guilford County Sheriff’s Office attorney Jim Secor disputed Maquaito’s claim of

the account Det. Fleming gave her that Anna “took her last breath at 2:30 a.m.”

However, Maquaito said she still stands by her original statement.

Guilford County Sheriff’s Office officials have been promising to release more information about Anna’s death, including a detailed timeline of the events of Oct. 16, since last Wednesday, but as of 7 p.m. on Oct. 27, they have not released any more information.

“As a courtesy to the wife and mother, I feel compelled to send them the timeline first so that they are not seeing it for the first time in the media,” wrote Secor in an Oct. 27 email. “In order to make that happen, I will not be able to meet your written publication deadline of 2 p.m. but will still get this to you and the other members of the media later this afternoon. Sorry, I tried.”

At least two LGBTQIA+ women of color have died after being detained for a short period at the Greensboro Detention Center in the past two years.

Tasha Thomas, 33, died after being detained at the jail for only three days on charges of probation violation and possession of a controlled substance. According to an article by Chanel Davis in the Carolina Peacemaker, Thomas’s autopsy report stated her official cause of death was “sepsis due to infective endocarditis,” which is an infection in the heart “due to chronic injection drug use.”

On Oct. 23, YES! Weekly sent a series of questions regarding Anna’s arrest and treatment inside the detention center to GCSO communications director Lori Poag and Captain J. Sellers of the Greensboro Detention Center. In that email to Poag and Sellers, YES! Weekly asked if Sheriff Rogers and detention staff were worried about what the deaths of two queer women of color in two years might implicate to Guilford County citizens, and if Sheriff Rogers and detention center staff stood by how Anna was cared for while in their custody.

Sheriff Rogers seemed defensive earlier this summer when people gathered to protest Thomas’s death. According to the Carolina Peacemaker, “Rogers told protesters: ‘No Justice, No Peace. I understand that. Do Black lives matter?

Yes. I understand that, as well.’”

Speaking to Thomas’s family, “he told them ‘it happened before my watch.’”

YES! Weekly also asked in that email, now that the death of a LGBTQIA+ woman of color happened on Roger’s

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watch, does he feel the same way?

In a phone call on Oct. 27, Poag said responded to these questions by saying that the sheriff would make a statement after the details were released to the public.

When asked if she saw the events from the body camera footage, Maquaito replied, “no, I haven’t seen it yet. I just asked if I could see it, and she told me that she would have to go through the police department. I am in the process of getting a lawyer to do all of this.”

When the officer asked if she had any questions, Maquaito said no because she said she was still in shock.

“This is really the first time that I ever had to go through something like this—I really, really don’t know what to say, so I don’t want nobody to have to use nothing against me,” Maquaito said. “I asked different people because I didn’t get the end discovery until a couple of days ago when I found out that they found her on the side of the road and passed out.”

Maquaito said she didn’t know where Anna was coming from or going during the early morning hours of Oct. 16.

“All I was told was that she was going to get something to eat and that she was with her friends,” Maquaito said.

Even though she and Anna were working on mending their relationship and living in two different households, they were still married and loved each other, Maquaito said.

“We were doing family meals on Sunday and trying to work out our communication because her alcoholism was really awful for me,” Maquaito said. “We were trying to fix it to where we could be in the same room together.”

Maquaito said that she met Anna while they were in the same homeless program in 2017.

“She was in her own situation, and I was in my own situation, and then we met together like that,” she said. “There was financial trouble for both of us.”

After being together for a year, Anna and Maquaito decided to get married on Oct. 5, 2018, and in January 2019, they got their own apartment together.

“She was outspoken, friendly, and she loved her family,” Maquaito said of her wife. “She was very cheerful and very family-oriented.”

But Maquaito alleged that Anna’s family wasn’t supportive of her sexual identity, which she said, led to Anna’s eventual homelessness.

“That was really not something that they agreed with,” Maquaito said. “They were not supportive of her.” (Anna’s family could not be reached for comment.)

Maquaito described her relationship WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

with Anna as “amazing,” noting that Anna was her first girlfriend, as she had only previously dated men.

“She loved my children, especially my grandkids who called her ‘Papa,’” Maquaito said, adding that her children and grandchildren also loved Anna.“We were supposed to be taking the kids to the beach. My mom is also deceased, so we were going to let off some of my mom’s ashes, and now this is what I have to face.”

Maquaito expressed her distrust for police after learning about Anna’s death.

“I feel like our police system really sucks bad,” she said.“I really don’t even know what I would say to the police right now; I have no words for them. I wish they would have took her to the hospital; she might still be here.”

When asked how she felt law enforcement handled Anna’s arrest, Maquaito thinks they could have done way more.

“If they caught her on the side of the road, I feel like they should have taken her to the hospital because she wouldn’t have gotten to that stage,” she said.

“Maybe something could have been really, really wrong with her, especially with the fact that she was stumbling.”

Maquaito started a GoFundMe page to help cover the cost of Anna’s cremation.

“I don’t have any life insurance policy, so I am trying to get as much help as I can,” she said. “I have no income right now, and I am also disabled and trying to get on disability. I just had back surgery and two [other surgeries], so I cannot work. Her mom doesn’t want to help because of our situation that we were gay married. I don’t have any help at all, so that is what the GoFundMe page is for.”

Maquaito said that Anna had depression and was struggling with body-image issues surrounding her weight, which led to her alleged drinking problem.

“I wish I could have at least had a chance to say I loved her, and I wish she was still here, to be honest,” she said.

“For everybody that thought that we really fell out, we were really trying to work it out.”

Maquaito hopes those struggling with depression will get support.

“They should talk to someone if they were really struggling like that and not hold it in,” she said.

For more information about Maquaito’s GoFundMe campaign for Anna’s homegoing, visit https://gf.me/u/y5zb9f !

KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly. Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/public relations board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and self-proclaimed King of Glamp.

Missing Angel Ozel Edmonds Last known location to be in Greensboro, NC on August 4, 2020 thru a post on Facebook and has not been heard from since.

Anyone with any information, please call Bernard Edmonds at 724-554-2924 or Kim Smith at 412-298-7848

$500 reward for information leading to find Angel.

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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‘Our art is proof of our existence and our resistance’: The Transparency Project amplifies transgender artists

J

ordan T. Robinson, of JTR Presents, is an aspiring curator that wants to uplift marginalized artists and communities through art.

His upcoming virtual exhibition with coKatie Murawski curator Lara Americo does just that by spotlighting transEditor gender art through “The Transparency Project.” Robinson, 29, has lived in Greensboro and Charlotte since he was very young after his family moved from New York to North Carolina in the early 1990s. Robinson went to college at North Carolina A&T State University to be an architectural engineer, but as college students often do, he decided to change his major to pursue art and design.

Robinson then went to Savannah College of Art and Design in Atlanta for graduate school. After getting his Master’s degree, he got a job at an art museum and moved back to Charlotte to help his dad, who just started his own business. Robinson is now living back in Greensboro, where he serves as a board member at the GreenHill Center for North Carolina Art, located at 200 N. Davie St. The Transparency Project is described on the website as an “exhibition elevating the voices and stories of the transgender community.”

“Given recent events for the Transgender community,” the website states, “we believe now is the most appropriate time to observe and address the systems and cultures that negatively influences this community and to use art as a platform for the community to tell us who they are in their own voice and how allies and neighbors can be of better help to them.”

Robinson said that The Transparency Project’s goals are to use art as a platform for trans people to tell their own stories, inform the public about the effect of transgender representation in media, raise awareness of transgender issues, offer resources to mobilize trans people, provide a forum so that others can interact with artists, and engage North Carolinians in advocating for and supporting transgender rights.

“I would say what the idea [for The Transparency Project] started from a YES! WEEKLY

Jordan T. Robinson and Lara Americo conversation from a gallery exhibition I did back in September 2016, like right before the presidential election,” Robinson said.

“I had done an exhibition about identity that featured five upcoming, contemporary artists, and one of them was Nicholas Contrera. He had mentioned to me that in his social circles in North Carolina, people are talking to him about how transgender topics were not really talked about in the state. I thought that was interesting, so I kept in the back of my mind.”

After the 2016 election, Robinson said he noticed some alarming transphobic rhetoric while watching political commentators.

“One of ‘em was Ben Shapiro, and he had made this statement about how being transgender is actually a mental health disorder, and that was huge red flag number one,” Robinson said of Shapiro’s comments. “That [comment] immediately made me think about what it was like in the 1960s— where it was believed that being gay was a mental health issue.”

Robinson said he felt compelled to advocate for trans people through this exhibition after the Executive Order administered

by President Donald Trump (that went into effect in 2019), which essentially banned transgender people from serving in the military.

During a conversation with the ACT UP activist and artist Terry Hanni, Robinson said he learned that the transgender community in North Carolina needed support, help and awareness. Robinson said Hanni floated the idea of putting together an art exhibit that could help raise awareness for the trans communities in North Carolina.

“That was right in my lane,” Robinson said. “For me, as an emerging curator, I want to produce exhibitions that relate to

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topics that affect our communities today, and I’m actively looking at how art institutions can better serve their community. So, I took this as an opportunity.”

Robinson started asking around the Charlotte LGBTQIA+ community for more information and resources to get started.

“I asked Rodney Tucker— he’s the CEO of Timeout Youth, an organization in Charlotte that helps LGBTQ-minors that are disowned or kicked out of their homes because of their identity,” Robinson said.

“I jointly met with him and Trey Green, the co-founder of another organization specifically for transgender communities in Gastonia and Charlotte called Transcend Charlotte— their support group is what got me connected.”

Before the concept was fully thought out for the exhibition, Robinson built a relationship and network with members of the trans community by attending these support groups.

“I’m still connected with the Charlotte transgender community,” he said. “They have these bi-weekly support group meetings every other Sunday and for the past year and a half. I’ve been going to those to talk about the project, but most of the time, it was really just to listen and learn.”

“That’s been another dynamic in this,” Robinson said, analyzing how his gender and sexual identity fits in with an exhibition uplifting trans voices. “I think about, Where is my position? Where is my place in the things that I do? When this project came up as an opportunity, and I looked at what I perceived as a need, you know, and I want to help.”

As a cisgender Black man, Robinson said he has already learned so much about the trans experience and that his motivation

for putting this exhibition together stems from his own spiritual journey.

“I was raised Baptist Christian, so that makes things even more interesting. But in the teachings, specifically in the book of Matthews— Chapter 22, verse 37 through 39— it mentions ‘in all that you do love God with all your mind, heart and soul. And Love your neighbor as yourself,’” he said.

“The first step in loving your neighbors or self is first getting to know them, and getting to learn about them.”

“I want to help by acknowledging, I’m not of this community, and I know that there is some learning that I have to do,” Robinson continued. “In all of this allyship I’ve been learning is for one, don’t expect the person or the group of people that you’re trying to support to educate you.

You need to go out and do your homework.”

Robinson said after he listened to the support group and shared the idea for the exhibition, it was well-received by the community. However, two very important questions arose: ‘Are there going to be trans artists in the exhibition? And, ‘Are there going to be other trans people in the project as a whole?’

That is when he asked Americo to join as co-curator and called on his mentors, Edie Carpenter, Vanessa Bamber and Roy Carter, for help. Since 2016, North Carolina became infamous for passing its controversial House Bill 2, AKA, the “Bathroom Bill” which actively discriminated against trans people (particularly trans women) for using the restroom that best aligned to their gender identity.

Americo, 35, is a queer, Indigenous, Latinx musician, journalist, and trans civil rights activist who now lives in New York City but lived most of her life in North Carolina. According to a 2017 Mother Jones article by Samantha Michaels, Americo realized she was trans when she was 29 years old, which was around the time the Charlotte City Council passed the nondiscrimination ordinance that would allow trans people to use the bathroom of their choice.

“I testified in support of it—that was when I began to be public about being trans,” Americo told Michaels in Mother Jones. “When it passed, it felt like we were finally going in the right direction. But then North Carolina lawmakers started considering HB2 [which blocked Charlotte’s ordinance]. I testified at the Senate, begging them not to, but they did.”

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Portrait of Charlotte artist Lena Gray Photo and artwork by Lena Gray, Courtesy of The Transparency Project

Americo is also known in Charlotte as the former co-owner/founder of the nonprofit Comic Girl Coffee and Books, which unfortunately closed its doors last year.

“Comic Girl Coffee was a shining gem of diversity and authenticity,” Americo told YES! Weekly via email. “I will always miss it, and all the victories achieved there. Being a shop run by marginalized people, centering marginalized stories in the South was an accomplishment. We were around for two years, and I believe quality is much more important than longevity. I hope that it can live on as proof that the pay it forward model can work and safe spaces are needed. Every week we would have people come by from different regions and states just to be in a queer/POC space.”

Americo wrote that she learned to be “fearless in the face of people” who didn’t think she should exist during her time living “beyond the binary gender” in North Carolina.

“Manhattan taught me how to be bold in my authenticity— being openly trans in the South turns you into a living-learning exWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

perience in most interactions,” she noted.

“Most people there have never met a trans person (we are real). In Manhattan, people here have seen it all. It’s all about being the greatest version of your authentic self you can be.”

Americo said she got involved with The Transparency Project to help give other trans artists an accessible platform to share their works. As a trans person of color, she understands all too well how high the barriers are for people like her.

“Being an artist and a trans person, I know how hard it can be to create when you have to focus on survival,” she noted. “I want to help offer an opportunity to showcase trans artists without having to pay application fees or have their art judged by people who may not understand the trans experience.”

Americo wrote that The Transparency Project is important to her because representation matters and this art exhibition has the potential to be a learning experience for others.

“Cisgender people and white people

often have trouble realizing their privilege,” she noted. “If you have a favorite artist, there is a good chance they are funded by their parents, some cisgender/white entity, or some other form of generational wealth.

Seeing Black, Brown, queer, disabled, immigrant, or any other marginalized group making art is a gift. You’re seeing their pain being transformed into beauty.”

Americo said the common thread that transgender artists share is their “unique perspectives on gender.”

“Which is something that influences every part of our lives— we don’t have to follow the rules because we don’t fit into the standard. We break the standards and teach people to be free,” she wrote.

“People need to see trans art,” she replied when asked what she hopes spectators will take away from this exhibition. “We are under attack. We are being erased.

Our art is proof of our existence and our resistance.”

Shortly after Gov. Roy Cooper took office, he and Republican state legislators compromised and passed H.B. 142, which was deemed the so-called repeal of H.B. 2.

LGBTQIA+ activists scoffed at this replacement bill because of Section 3 of the bill, which states, “No local government in this State may enact or amend an ordinance regulating private employment practices or regulating public accommodations.”

However, this section is set to expire on Dec. 1, 2020. But Americo doesn’t think the state’s problems with H.B.2 or it’s replacement will end on Dec. 2.

“I think the biggest problem in North Carolina is the horribly gerrymandered

election map,” she wrote. “State legislators literally cannot lose their seats because of the way lines are drawn. For positive change to happen, deeply conservative parts of the state would have to switch party lines. In my opinion, all these systems are broken, and I think a revolution is happening— this is the only way real change will come, and things like bathroom legislation won’t be necessary. I think this is the true message of art. Freedom.” !

KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly.

Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/public relations board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and self-proclaimed King of Glamp.

WANNA

see?

The Transparency Project exhibition is scheduled to go live on Nov. 1. During Trans Awareness Week, The Transparency Project will feature a panel discussion featuring transgender leaders on Nov. 18, an Artist Talk featuring artists from the exhibition on Nov. 19, and a virtual concert celebrating the trans lives still here on Nov. 20—which is also Trans Day of Remembrance. Artwork from the exhibition will be on display at the Guilford Green Foundation as well as virtually. The Transparency Project is supported by 5th Ave. Alliance, Flex Jonez, Eric Edward Schnell, Carrack Modern Art, Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce, Charlotte Pride, Charlotte Trans Pride, Comic Girl Coffee, GreenHill NC, The Guilford Green Foundation, EdRevolution, Transcend Charlotte, Tranzmission, and Queer City Charities. For more information, visit the website, https://jtrpresents. art/the-transparency-project.

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‘Have a seat at our table:’ PBP’s racial reckoning of the Greensboro LGBTQIA+ community “I may be—“ said the trans civil rights activist Sylvia Rivera, as she was interrupted by a booing crowd of predominately white, cisgender gay men and lesbian women at the 1973 Christopher Street Katie Murawski Liberation Rally in New York City. “Y’all better quiet down,” Editor she said as the booing from the crowd continued.

“I’ve been trying to get up here all day for your gay brothers and your gay sisters in jail that write me every motherfucking week and ask for your help, and you all don’t do a goddamn thing for them! Have you ever been beaten up and raped, and jailed? Now, think about it. They’ve been beaten up and raped after they’ve had to spend much of their money in jail to get themselves up and try to get their sex changed. The women have tried to fight for their sex changes or to become women. On the women’s liberation, and they write ‘STAR,’ not to the women’s groups, they do not write women, they do not write men, they write ‘STAR’ because we’re trying to do something for them. I have been to jail. I have been raped and beaten. Many times! By men, heterosexual men that do not belong in the homosexual shelter. But, did you do anything for them?

No. You tell me to go and hide my tail between my legs. I will no longer put up with this shit. I have been beaten. I have had my nose broken. I have been thrown in jail.

I have lost my job. I have lost my apartment for gay liberation, and you all treat me this way? What the fuck’s wrong with you all? Think about that! I do not believe in a revolution, but you all do. I believe in gay power. I believe in us getting our rights, or else I would not be out there fighting for our rights. That’s all I wanted to say to you people. If you all want to know about the people in jail— and do not forget Bambi L’amour, and Dora Mark, Kenny Messner, and other gay people in jail— come and see the people at STAR House on 12th Street on 640 E. 12th St. between B and C apartment 14. The people are trying to do something for all of us, and not men and women that belong to a white middle-class white club.

And that’s what you all belong to! Revolution now!”

This famous speech was the first thing YES! WEEKLY

attendees saw at the Black Lives Matter Virtual Form hosted by the Greensborobased organization Power Beyond Pride on June 24. PBP used Rivera’s speech to compare how leaders of the Queer People of Color Collective felt while disrupting the Greensboro Pride festival in 2016— fastforward four years later, and not much has changed. During this virtual forum, concerned members of the PBP steering committee came together to demand that local LGBTQIA+ leadership address systemic racism in what The Human Rights Campaign deemed in 2018 “the most LGBTQ-inclusive city in North Carolina.”

Amid the civil unrest and protests this summer sparked by the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor from police violence, the timing of this forum couldn’t have been more appropriate, as the 51st anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising— where members of the NYC LGBTQIA+ community stood up to police corruption and brutality in 1969— was on June 28.

According to a statement from the PBP steering committee released on June 15, the organization had not “seen Greensboro’s predominant LGBTQ+ organizations leading with anti-racist actions, nor meaningful solidarity.”

“What we have seen is the passive reinforcement of racist discourse and decisions,” the statement continued. “We have seen groups and organizations opting to remain comfortably white-washed while offering performative statements and actions that do not include risk or introspection.”

PBP’s statement also called attention to the group’s own identity as “an all-volunteer coalition created to keep activism

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moving during the 11 months that aren’t June,” and that many committee members of PBP were queer, white, cisgender, and middle class.

“Our organization is not perfect,” it stated. “As an organization, we are, in fact, guilty of many of the things we will call out in this document.”

PBP’s official statement ended with an invitation of prominent LGBTQIA+-centered organizations to attend the virtual forum that addressed the racism within those organizations and the Greensboro LGBTQIA+ community-at-large.

PBP steering committee member and the virtual forum’s moderator Derick Jones Jr. has been involved with the volunteerrun organization for almost a year. In a July 3 phone interview, they said that PBP’s efforts in its beginning were “racially neutralized” and mainly focused on liberation and the community’s homeless LGBTQIA+ population. Jones Jr. said that as the membership grew, and through QPOCC founder, Elsewhere Fellow and local librarian April Parker’s involvement, PBP turned its efforts to critical anti-racist analysis.

“When COVID-19 hit, we paused—which I think was a good thing,” they said. “And then, the George Floyd incident hit and all of the Aumaud Arbery, Breonna Taylors and others that we heard of including remembering the lives taken in our own city, we just felt like we needed to do something, that was not a performance.

That is when we decided to have a more anti-racist approach to things.”

Parker has worked in Greensboro for the past decade, “centering the lives of people living in the intersection of Black, queer

and trans.” She explained the purpose of PBP is to “talk about the plight of the LGBTQ+ community and issues that affect our community outside of Pride,” in hopes of regrounding Pride and “its legacy of resistance.”

“Power Beyond Pride’s work is not the first to host these conversations,” she said.

“Black queer and trans people have— we centralize for many years and push back, but there is a lot of suppression. I felt it was necessary upon my invitation from Black leadership, for me to invest in Power Beyond Pride.”

Parker noted that PBP’s objective is the restorative justice of “deconstructing the things that allow white supremacy to reign supreme in the LGBTQ, white, mainstream spaces,” and to have a “shared race analysis.”

“I think that the post-Black Lives Matter Uprising— it called a lot of people to wake up,” Parker said. “[PBP] went through a dormant stage because of COVID-19; but we reignited because everyone was trying to do solidarity statements, and we just don’t have time for shallow, performative measures of solidarity.”

Parker said these empty, virtue-signaling statements were just a way for white people to build socio-political capital that benefits them instead of actually building community and changing conditions for BIPOC queer and trans folks in Greensboro.

“They are trying to stand in solidarity now because it is going to benefit them.

[Now] they can’t ignore the demands— the cry-outs for Black Lives Matter right now,” Parker said. “[The PBP Black Lives Matter virtual forum] didn’t happen on

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some random fall day; it had to take place during an uprising, and that should not be lost to us.”

Parker went on to say that the QPOCC had already done a lot of restorative work in Greensboro in the previous decade, yet barely anyone from GGF or other local, prominent LGBTQIA+ organizations and its white leadership had acknowledged or participated in that work.

“That is what we usually get from the white, LGBTQIA+ community— ‘Well, we want to help, so you can have a seat at the table,’” Parker said. “But it is just like, you have already created these tables in your likeness, and have ignored the work of Black and Brown people, as we take care of our communities, despite your nonprofit’s failing to do so.”

The two main organizations that were critiqued during this virtual forum were Greensboro Pride and the Guilford Green Foundation. The PBP steering committee alleged that GGF had racist hiring practices, seeing as though all three of its current staff members are white, and its former executive director (Mayor Nancy Vaughan) was a white, cisgender woman.

“Just hiring white people, or just having predominantly white people there, is some type of racial divide that they are creating, and we have to call it out in order to dismantle it and rebuild it to a space that is inclusive of all Black [people],” Jones Jr. said. “Especially making sure that Black power is acknowledged.”

Parker clarified that PBP’s mission is to not push for an “integration model” of “Black faces in high places” because “you can’t just sprinkle Black people and then say you value Blackness.”

Greensboro Pride was also called out due to how representatives responded to QPOCC, NCTROUBLMakers and other Black LGBTQIA+ activists disrupting the 2016 festival. Figureheads of Greensboro Pride, the Guilford Green Foundation, and Greensboro City Council accepted the group’s invitation and attended the forum.

Jones Jr. said their first duty as moderator was to “make sure community was being built” because “during these unprecedented times, there is going to be tension.”

Jones Jr. explained June’s virtual forum as a way to activate an anti-racist analysis within the white LGBTQIA+ community by “making people aware of these white establishments that are doing harm to the Black community whether they know it or not.”

“I was taken aback by the responses that we got from particular organizations,” said Jones Jr. of their reaction to the virtual forum. Jones Jr. added that they felt that there were more excuses than problemsolving that wasn’t asked for by PBP. “As WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera in New York City, circa 1989–90 Photo by Rudy Grillo, Courtesy of the LGBT Community Center Archive @lgbtcenternyc a moderator, I was very offended in a way to understand that was what people were doing.”

Social worker and PBP steering committee member J. Blue wrote in an early July email that the biggest takeaway from this virtual form was that “LGBTQIA+ organizations and for-profit businesses within our community that continue to primarily center whiteness ultimately leave BIPOC individuals with two options: Get in where they fit in or do without,” Blue wrote. “For those of us within the LGBTQIA+ community and allies, my hope would be that we see this as behavior we refuse to support because I do believe there is power in the absence of our presence and dollars.”

Greensboro City Council At-Large Representative Michelle Kennedy was also present for the virtual forum. In a subsequent interview after the forum, Kennedy said she was pleased that it was so densely populated, represented by a diverse group of speakers and attendees, and she was pleased that PBP held white folks of the LGBTQIA+ community accountable.

“I think that it speaks to coming together around this and understanding that we have to do this together, in community,” she said. “What is impacting one of us is impacting all of us. I was really happy with the conversation and really happy to hear the things that were brought, and I think it was a good step in the right direction.”

Kennedy said that she was going to do her part as an elected official to work on bettering the conditions of trans people in Greensboro.

“For the LGBTQ community, it is really dangerous for us to forget where we came from, and the struggles and the flights that had to happen for us to be where we are today, much less where we really want to be, particularly for our trans family,” she said.

Kennedy said she has the support of the mayor as well as other council members to create a transgender task force to identify and address the needs of trans and nonbinary citizens of the City of Greensboro.

“I am really focused on trying to get this trans task force off the ground,” Kennedy said. “The police issue is probably the most important, most pressing one. So I think that is the initial focus. In my mind, though, this is something that doesn’t go away; this is something that continues on.”

Kennedy noted that the initial focus of the task force is on policing and that the larger focus is “as a city, comprehensively, where are we missing opportunities to be more inclusive? To make sure that we are not misgendering people, to make sure that we are creating avenues for the best possible experiences within any city department.”

Kennedy said one example of the larger focus of the task force is making sure that every trans person in Greensboro has access to get an identification card that matches their gender identity. Kennedy compared it to the Faith-Action Identification Card, which is already an initiative in the city with a focus to provide identification cards to undocumented residents.

“I think there are a million things we need to do differently and we need to do better as it relates to that, and while we can’t change state law, and HB2 is still in effect until December, we have a lot of things that we can work around,” Kennedy said. “So, I think, short term things we can do really quickly, but I think there are some longer-term things we can strategically do.

There are some things that become some lobbying stuff for the city as we are reaching out to our state legislators.”

Kennedy said the task force would ideally be composed of five to nine people who are majorly people of color, specifically Black trans women, who are the population that is most frequently impacted. The PBP steering committee agreed with this but made the important request that these positions would be paid.

Kennedy agreed, however, she noted that the funding could not come from the City of Greensboro.

“You are asking a population that has been harmed by divisive policies to help

you fix them, and I don’t think you get to do that for free,” she said. “I don’t think we have ever paid; I know we haven’t paid work commissions on stipends or anything.”

Kennedy said there should be a new model established for the trans task force if it would offer paid positions.

“There are tons of nonprofit, for-profit organizations that want to be a part of this and help,” she said. “So, why not create a fund so that we can pay for marginalized communities for their work when we are asking them for it.”

Kennedy also noted that the task force would need to be diverse in age as well because it couldn’t “just be a task force of millennials. There have to be elders; it has to be a subset of the community to get its full effect.”

“I do believe there is support on this council; I am solid in the fact that there is the support on this council to advance on issues like this one, the issues impacting the trans community,” she said. “It is almost funny to think that we are the most progressive council that we have ever had—it’s slightly terrifying, but I think that there is a majority of us that are ready to move forward on these issues. It is the exact right time, from a political will standpoint, to do this and to do it well, to do it in a meaningful and engaging way that is honoring people for their work and really start to do this built with the community instead of us sitting up there assuming we might know what that is.”

Parker said the PBP steering committee appreciated that Kennedy came to a Blackcurated space to be held accountable.

She echoed Kennedy’s suggestions for the task force, including community input and assessment of needs, paid positions, and the main focus of the task force to be police-specific.

“I think that is a good step,” Jones, Jr. said about paying members of that committee.

“Normally, when you are doing committees and task forces, you are getting nothing but emotional labor.”

The day before the virtual forum, GGF published a statement on their future racial justice commitment to the community. In that statement, they pledged to conduct anti-racism training utilizing consultants of color, increase the diversity of the board’s leadership, increase the percentage of funding to BIPOC programs, create a consultant payment scale to ensure BIPOC consultants are paid equally for training, panels and events; and provide a free space to BIPOC-centered meetings and events.

On June 29, Greensboro Pride issued a statement addressing their failures to the Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) community.

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“We would like to issue an overdue public apology to LGBTQIA BIPOC,” the press release stated. “The Greensboro Pride festival has been a day of fun and celebration for many throughout our 15-year history; however, the first Pride, 51 years ago, was a riot started by queer and trans-BIPOC. We have failed to highlight and uplift the voices of our underserved and underrepresented BIPOC brothers and sisters.”

The statement noted that the apology is a start but recognized that it was not enough; and that the nonprofit has a willingness and desire to “listen, learn, be challenged, be held accountable, and begin to build relationships within the queer BIPOC community.”

The statement acknowledged that there is no current action plan to move forward and that the predominately white Greensboro Pride board “should not create an anti-racist plan without the representation and input of the LGBTQIA BIPOC community. We will participate in anti-racist training. We will collaborate with the BIPOC community. We want to hear from the BIPOC community. And until then, no action plan can be created.”

In the statement, Greensboro Pride invited the community to share their input, feelings, suggestions, and ideas via email, info@greensboropride.org.

“Since we have canceled Greensboro Pride events due to COVID-19, our promise to you is we will spend the remainder of 2020 growing as a team that serves ALL the LGBTQIA community of Greensboro and surrounding areas.”

In response to Greensboro Pride’s statement regarding the welcomed public input from BIPOC people, Jones Jr. also expressed their disappointment.

“To me, that’s a political strategy to get people to say something; they do a little something to just suppress the Black voice,” they said. “Are you really going to implement it, and if you do implement it, is it going to be permanent? Or just going to be until things pass over, and then there is another way of something happening?”

Jones Jr. said they felt that Greensboro Pride generalized BIPOC members of the LGBTQIA+ community as not being vocal enough.

“I always ask the question: Did you have their mics turned up? Because if u didn’t turn up their mics, of course, you are not going to hear what they have to say,” they said. “And why are you inviting them to your table? Why not ask to be invited to the table Black people are building themselves, and you sit and listen at that table? We have been invited to so many white tables, and they listen, but no action has been taken.”

Jones Jr. noted that before anything can YES! WEEKLY

change for the better, there needs to be an acknowledgment that harm has been done.

“First of all, you need to recognize that silence is violence—it is the most violent thing that you can do during this movement, so you need to be doing something,” they said. “I understand the point of wanting to not mess nothing up, but in order to grow, you have to mess up. You are not going to be perfect; you are going to mess up and learn from it. We have white people that are willing to take on that emotional labor of educating people, so if you don’t understand something, you can reach out to Black people, and Black people can direct you to people if we don’t have the capacity to sit down with you and explain everything to do. We most likely know someone that can take on that emotional labor to do it.”

“Doing the work is a start at making Greensboro better,” Blue wrote when asked what could white LGBTQIA+ people and allies do to help enact meaningful change. “You can be more productive to the movement by holding these organizations/ businesses accountable. You all should be speaking out about these things and modeling what an LGBTQIA+ community that promotes racial justice looks like. And when these organizations/ businesses fail to demonstrate these values, you need to publicly renounce your support and let the community know why.

These entities thrive, overwhelmingly, due to white support. They haven’t had to do the work because they haven’t suffered by not doing it. You and those like you need to change that narrative and say no more.”

Travis Laughlin, a white cisgender gay PBP steering committee member, said that one of the most important things that other white, cisgender people like him could do is listen to the Black and Brown voices in the LGBTQIA+ community.

“Listen with the intent for informed action,” he said. “Frequently, we sort of can activate privilege to pop up at moments and to think that we know the best way.

That, again, leads to the erasure of history, not the understanding. In the virtual forum, everyone wants to say that [the first] Pride was a riot—it was 50 years before white people wanted to embrace that, to begin to acknowledge that. It was Marsha P. Johnson; it was Sylvia Rivera; it was trans women of color that really lit a

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

fire under this movement.”

After the virtual forum, the PBP steering committee issued a demand to have police presence removed from future Greensboro Pride festivals.

“Given the history of pride and the original calls to keep police out to avoid violent confrontations, coupled with ongoing violence between law enforcement and people of color, undocumented immigrants, transgender men and women, I totally understand the call to get police out of pride,” Blue wrote. “ I feel safety is paramount, especially in any large event, but do think the conversation is warranted around alternatives to police involvement, and do recognize that Pride events, outside of Greensboro Pride, have been held in Greensboro, absent police, and without incident.”

Kayt Stewart, chair of the Greensboro Pride board, wrote in an email that getting police out of Pride has been one of the action items at the forefront of conversations. “Currently, the special event application to the city and our event insurance requires Public Safety,” she wrote. “The special event application currently states ‘the special events coordinator, in consultation with GPD, shall determine the number of police officers needed to appropriately manage street closures and internal security.’ We’ve spoken amongst ourselves if hiring private security would suffice this requirement, but we have not yet been in conversation with the city due to COVID.” Stewart remarked that in the past, there was a Greensboro police officer at each intersection and one on each end. In 2019, she wrote that there were eight to 10 officers at the festival.

“Their primary responsibility is to block and direct traffic and to help us close the streets,” she wrote. “As the festival organizers, we are responsible for any policing of those attending the festival as well as those who are counter-protesting the festival. Which is why you see our volunteers and members of The Triad Leather Club in front of counter-protestors every year, or you see myself or other board members stepping in to de-escalate a situation.”

Stewart said she and co-chair Paul Marshall have both been trained in crowd management and that it was their responsibility to keep everyone safe.

“The officers are only engaged to assist in escorting counter-protestors off the festival footprint, but the police are accompanied by our volunteers and members of The Triad Leather Club the entire time,”

she wrote. “Until we talk to the city and see what removing the police from Pride would look like to the festival, I don’t have a solid answer right now. There are a lot of questions that are unanswered, but we are working as hard as possible to try to find a resolution.”

In a follow-up email to Kennedy at the end of July, YES! Weekly asked if she could comment on whether the City of Greensboro would allow the Greensboro Pride festival to happen without the presence of police officers and if Greensboro Pride would be able to hire a private security firm rather than using officers from the Greensboro Police Department.

Kennedy responded that she had already put in a request to the rest of the city council about getting the police out of Pride and that she would let YES! Weekly know when she has an answer.

Back in July, Parker described the virtual forum as being powerful in a way she has never seen before, in which the white LGBTQIA+ leadership came “have a seat at our table.” However, since then, Parker said she had not seen any actions from these figureheads. YES! Weekly has since sent a couple of emails and messages to Kennedy about the progress of the trans task force and any updates regarding getting the police out of Pride.

“We are actively working to establish the task force,” replied Kennedy via email on Oct. 27. “With COVID, not much has been brought up surrounding Pride.”

The pressure for identifying and addressing the needs of Greensboro’s LGBTQIA+ community (especially for Black, Indigenous, people of color) is starting to build after the Guilford County Sheriff’s Department announced the death of yet another queer woman of color in the county’s detention center this month.

On Oct. 16, 24-year-old Anna Chris Dominguez was found unresponsive in a holding cell by detention center staff after she was arrested about five hours before on charges of Driving While Intoxicated, Operating a Vehicle with No Insurance, Misdemeanor Simple Possession of a Controlled Substance Schedule IV, and Driving a Motor Vehicle with No Registration. She was later pronounced dead at Cone Hospital.

In 2018, 33-year-old Tasha Thomas died after being detained at the jail for only three days on charges of probation violation and possession of a controlled substance. !

KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly.

Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/public relations board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and self-proclaimed King of Glamp.

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New virtual clinic aims to provide accessible, inclusive health care to LGBTQIA+ North Carolinians With the recent confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett to the United States Supreme Court on Monday night, many Americans will most likely lose their access to affordable health care in the near Katie Murawski future. And this is particularly disturbing to North Carolinians Editor because, for almost a decade, Republican leadership in the state’s legislature has refused to expand Medicaid, despite support from voters on both parties. The Center for American Progress, an independent, nonpartisan policy institute, and NORC at the University of Chicago conducted a survey with 1,528 LGBTQIA+ identifying individuals in June.

“In states that have not expanded Medicaid, the rate of LGBTQIA+ adults who are uninsured is 20 percent,” the results state, adding that LGBTQIA+ adults making less than $45,000 a year are the ones most prominently affected. According to this survey, transgender folks and people with disabilities bear the brunt of the high cost of health care, as 51% of transgender individuals and 40% of people with disabilities who needed medical care postponed it due to cost, and 40% of transgender individuals and 30% of people with disabilities postponed preventative screenings due to cost.

A Greensboro-based virtual clinic with a focus on LGBTQ health hopes to support those living in the margins of society by providing virtual health care services to anyone living in North Carolina. Founded

by Chief Operating Officer Jamie Clarke and Chief Medical Officer Dr. Subrata John Guha, the LGBTQ Clinic was conceptualized specifically with the health care needs of LGBTQIA+ people in mind.

“If you have a phone, iPad, or computer, you can come see us,” Guha said. “You don’t have to go anywhere— just be seen where you are comfortable, and take a proactive approach for your health.”

According to Clark and Guha’s research, there are approximately 420,000 people that identify as LGBTQIA+ in North Carolina, and of those, 30,000 identify specifically as transgender. Clarke is one of those 30,000. Unfortunately, Clarke knows all too well the barriers that other trans people WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

face when seeking health care.

“I had a lot of problems getting comfortable, comprehensive medical care,” she said. “Not just about [Hormone Replacement Therapy] or sexual health, but about Jamie as a whole person, which encompasses all of those things and my day-today medical needs.”

She said that the LGBTQIA+ community, as a whole, are not very trusting of doctors.

As a transgender woman, she has experienced first-hand what that is like to be treated differently because of her gender identity. At age 35, Clarke decided that she wanted to begin transitioning by starting HRT, so like any other patient, she asked her doctor for more information.

“I was dealing with a local doctor and asked to have my hormone levels checked, as I was getting bloodwork done anyway,” she said. “And they were like, ‘well, why would you want to do that?’ And I was like, so I can start HRT, and she said, ‘Oh, I am not comfortable doing that.’”

This experience led Clarke to switch to Dr. Guha. During her interview with him, she felt comfortable enough to ask about starting HRT because he was honest, straightforward, and “extremely easy to talk to.”

Clarke said when she told him that she was interested in starting HRT, he told her that he wasn’t too familiar with it, so he had to do some more research to make sure he was doing it properly.

“As we got to know each other, I was explaining to him that sometimes, I was at the point where I wanted to go online and figure out how to do it myself. But he was like that’s probably not safe,” Clarke said.

“And there are a whole lot of people that are in that exact boat. So, we are trying to take the stigma out of LGBTQIA+ health.”

With The LGBTQ Clinic, Clarke and Guha said they are trying to create a movement toward community-based, equalized health care by building relationships with clients in a convenient and accessible format.

“In the telemedicine space, typically what you get is a five-minute visit, sometimes not even by video but as a phone call,” Clarke said. “Our visits are 15 minutes long, and we strongly encourage getting to know your doctor, and vice versa, because you always get the same care provider.”

Clarke described the LGBTQ Clinic as everything one would expect at a visit to their regular health care provider, only virtually.

“One of our marketing specialists was like, ‘think about it as going to the doctor’s office, not getting deadnamed, and you

don’t have to sit on the crunchy paper in a germ pool,” Clarke said.

Guha explained that the LGBTQ Clinic could basically replace one’s primary care doctor because it is all-encompassing— and that everyone, not just LGBTQIA+ people, could receive health care services.

“I can write a virtual prescription to your pharmacist, any pharmacist— we are basically like walking into your doctor’s office but all virtual,” Guha said. “We can’t administer shots, but if it can be self-administered, then I can prescribe it, and you can pick it up.”

However, Guha said he makes sure he is thorough with each patient he sees.

“When someone comes in, I don’t just write a prescription for testosterone,” he said. “I want that lab work, and I would want to see the patient again after the lab work [results came back] to go over it and then provide the prescription.”

The LGBTQ Clinic isn’t Guha’s first foray into providing fast and accessible health care services to people. Guha said he helped start FastMed “back in the ancient ages of 2010,” but sold out of it in 2014-2015 after the business was acquired by a venture capitalist. As a heterosexual, cisgender man, Guha said he believes that everyone should have the same access to health care and be treated equally, which is why he was more than happy to help start this clinic.

Guha takes pride in his informed approach to LGBTQIA+ health, as he follows the guidelines put out by the University of California at San Francisco and its Department of Internal Medicine’s sub-department, which is specifically tailored for the LGBTQIA+ community.

“In the last five years, this premier medical center started putting out clinical protocols that established guidelines and state of the art, the scope of practice protocols,” he noted.

Launching the LGBTQ Clinic hasn’t been easy but has been a labor of love for both Clarke and Guha.

“We are really excited about it,” she said.

“Being in Greensboro, and with it being such a large college town, the need is absolutely there. One of the hardest things we are having problems with is trying to have conversations with influencers or people that can get the message out for us. I don’t want to be a sponsored ad; I want to be a trusted resource.”

Clarke said North Carolina’s 2016 controversial Bathroom Bill was a big part of their discussion, and it was a “driving factor as to

why we would create this clinic specifically.”

“We don’t have time for the noise,” Clarke said of the recent politicizing of health care.

“We just want to provide quality health care to as many people that need it as we can...

It’s also about bringing some respectability to a state like North Carolina, where there is a lot of uncertainty about this particular issue.”

“Whoever is elected president in November, we will still be here,” she added.

Clarke said each 15-minute virtual session costs $78 per visit, which she said is cheaper than the $150 that is usually charged by the local larger medical centers.

“We are looking to do a subscription plan, but because we are so new, we are still testing the market,” Guha said, adding that The LGBTQ Clinic will soon accept insurance coverage from Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina, Cigna, United Care, and others.

“We are actively pursuing the credentialing process, and it’s just a waiting game,” Clarke said.

“I am guessing in the next 30-60 days, and the reason why it is taking so long, as you probably already know, is because of COVID,” Guha added.

Presently, there are two doctors (including Guha) and one nurse practitioner on staff at The LGBTQ Clinic. Clarke said she is looking for support from local LBGTQIA+ community leaders but makes it clear that they are not trying to buy their way into the community. Clarke and Guha said they aren’t in the business of just making a quick buck; they want to establish the LGBTQ Clinic as a long-term resource.

“Health care should not be any different or any less quality because you are in the LGBTQ community,” she said. “We are trying to provide and be a voice to the movement. With a 30-veteran of the health care industry to say that your health care is no different or more valuable than anyone else’s, that is the real distinction here.

For more information, visit the website, https://www.lgbtq.clinic/ and follow The LGBTQ Clinic on social media (Instagram and Facebook, @lgbtq.clinic) !

KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly.

Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/public relations board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and self-proclaimed King of Glamp.

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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HEAR IT!

Big Something brings a ‘Halloween Special’ to The Drive

B

Katei Cranford

Contributor

ig Something will scare up the jams with an online Halloween special on Oct. 30, followed by a couple of sociallydistanced drive-in shows, starting Nov. 6, as part of the drive-in concert series at The Drive at Winston-Salem

Fairgrounds.

“A night of virtual music and terror” is Big Something’s ode to classic Halloween night T.V.: complete with a concert and live painting spliced between a homemade movie of the undead and zombie Zoom-call costume-contest.

“It’s actually turning out to be one of the coolest things we’ve ever done.

I’m really excited,“ said guitarist Nick MacDaniels, who noted the group’s love

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of Halloween and the bummer of postponing this year’s “Big Something Costume Ball.”

The special, an idea cooked-up by bassist Doug Marshall, is being brought to life thanks to Ovation Sound, the studio Big Something used for their latest album ‘Escape,’ and the corresponding “Escape From the Living Room” livestream series. “Ovation gave us a creative space to call home during the pandemic,” MacDaniels said of Bill Stevens, the Winston studio operator who engineered and mixed the record, “we’re truly blessed to have him involved.”

“Escape from the Living Room” was born from the impromptu “Live From the Living Room” streams hosted in the earlier stages of quarantine. “The first episode was just me in my apartment with a

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2020

cellphone camera,” MacDaniels explained of the initial stream, which garnered more than 40,000 viewers. “We started bringing in different band members, in small groups, and elevating the production, bit by bit, every week,” he added, “by July, we escaped my living room and made the recording studio our home base. We’ve pretty much been there ever since.”

Now thoroughly infected by the livestream bug, Big Something is looking to gobble some brains during their zombie-themed Halloween special.

“We’ve always had a thing for zombies,” MacDaniels said, noting the prevalence of the undead and apocalyptic references within their material. “We’re all pretty heavily into science fiction.”

For the special, they’ll bring a bit of that material to life, mixed with laughs and live flow performers. “We filmed a ton of our own zombie footage with the band and crew,” MacDaniels said of the production, which draws inspiration from Night of the Living Dead, mixed with campy undertones found in flicks like Fido.

“The live performance at the studio is part of the story,” he continued, with spoilers: “zombies attack our recording studio while we’re streaming; and eventually all the band, crew, and performers become infected throughout the show.”

On top of the movie, Big Something will host a virtual zombie costume-contest during the live parts of the show. “Fans can video call into a zoom waiting room, and we’ll choose our favorite participants to be featured in the stream with us,” MacDaniels explained. “We’re hoping people will attack their screens and get really into it.” Winners will receive a signed limited-edition vinyl record of the new album.

Released on Oct. 9, “Escape” marks their sixth studio endeavor from Grammy-

nominated producer John Custer and 10 years as a band. Drummer, Ben Vinograd, considers the record a conscious return to their roots, with the first round of singles, “Heavy” and “Timebomb,” fitting the dancey jammers to which fans are accustomed.

And while releasing a record during a pandemic wasn’t the plan, MacDaniels finds the times artistically fitting for an album titled “Escape,” which encircles escapist themes as the group reflects on their first endeavor following the passing of co-lyricist Paul Interdonato.

“This album features a lot of his ideas,” MacDaniels said of the work shared with his childhood best friend, “‘Machines’ is the last song we ever wrote together.”

Though production wrapped prepandemic, the group decided to push the release and develop a virtual concert series in lieu of touring. “We performed the entire album live in the same studio it was recorded,” MacDaniels said, “It actually ended up being a pretty cool way to celebrate,” Their appearance at The Drive in Winston will mark their first return to a live stage since the “Royal Rumble” tour in February. “We’re all excited and nervous,” MacDaniels said, ”it’s been tough finding the right balance between responsibly hosting shows and trying to salvage our year.” Overall, their feelings are optimistic.

“Everyone’s going above and beyond to make them as safe as possible,” he added, ”and there are great teams of people involved working really hard to make each show the best experience it can be.”

Beyond the drive-ins, Big Something is looking forward to resurrecting “the BIG What?” festival, postponed due to COVID-19, with a new date tentatively scheduled for Aug. 5-7, 2021. “We’re hoping outdoor festivals will be able to happen safely by then,” MacDaniels noted, “we’re going to proceed with caution until more information is available.”

Caution hangs heavy in the air, with zombies on the brain, as Big Something beckons fans to bring out the undead for their online Halloween special on Oct. 30, or catch them live, as part of the drivein concert series hosted by The Drive at Winston-Salem Fairgrounds on Nov. 6.

For more information, visit the Facebook event page. !

KATEI CRANFORD is a Triad music nerd who hosts “Katei’s Thursday Triad Report,” a radio show spotlighting artists and events, Thur. 5:30-7 on WUAG 103.1fm.

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last call

[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions

CODDLE HERDER

My boyfriend’s enabling of his failure-to-launch 26-year-old son is seeming like a deal breaker. Though his son’s very likable, he’s been fired from every job he’s had, Amy Alkon including a wellpaying delivery job Advice I recently got him, after they perceived Goddess liability from his reckless, race-driving ways. His dad lent him a truck, pays the insurance, pays his cellphone bill, and keeps rescuing him on his rent. He spends his days video gaming, getting stoned, and online dating. I was looking forward to getting married, but I don’t want my house at risk when his son calls for a bailout. I’m also not sure I want a man who doesn’t advance his kids to independence.

—Distressed Childhood goes so fast. It’s only a matter of time before Cody is 85 and expected to post his own bail.

Your boyfriend is acting out of empathy for his son. Empathy is taken for granted as a beautiful thing, but it has a dark side. It comes from the German word, “einfuhlung,” meaning “in-feeling” or “feeling into.” Obviously, we can’t actually tap into another person’s feelings, but psychologist Lynn O’Connor explains that when we witness another person’s suffering, our “empathy system is alerted, almost as if we were suffering ourselves.”

Our initial flare of empathy, this “feeling into” another’s suffering, happens automatically. Once we experience it, explain neuroscientists Olga Klimecki and Tania Singer, our empathy can go one of two ways: into unhealthy “empathic distress” or healthy “empathic concern.”

Empathic distress is empathy that quickly turns “me-focused.” We start feeling really bad about how bad we feel in the wake of our friend’s empathytriggering suffering — to the point that we’re prone to duck our uncomfortable feelings by avoiding our suffering friend.

(Nice, huh?) Empathic concern, on the other hand, motivates us to channel our empathy into action. We ask ourselves, “What can I do to alleviate this person’s suffering?” and then get to it.

However, even healthy empathic concern has a dark side. You can alleviate somebody’s immediate suffering but ultimately hurt them long-term, like when you show them that Daddy’s always there to mop up after their irresponsible behavior with a big wad of dollars.

Possibly saving your relationship starts with understanding the complicated mix here. Though Dad is taking action on his son’s behalf (as per empathic concern), he’s probably driven by empathic distress: a longing to immediately alleviate the pain he feels from his son being in trouble. This is pathological empathy: empathy that ultimately harms both the person it’s intended to help and the person doing the helping. For example, in addition to the negative effect on your relationship, you noted (in an email replying to questions I’d asked you) that endlessly picking up his reckless, lazeballs

son’s tab has tanked your boyfriend’s own finances.

Of course, actual helping is judicious helping, like a tough-love refusal to make the consequences of Slacker Boy’s actions magically disappear. Forcing this 20-something brat to get socked with the costs is probably the only way he’ll get on the path to becoming an independent, fully functioning adult.

You get this, and you told me you’ve brought it up to your boyfriend “like once a month,” framing it in “constructive terms.” That isn’t working, in large part because Dad has a habit that seems to serve him (at least on the immediate level): Son crashes and burns; Dad swoops in to sweep up the wreckage, and he gets that quick hit of “feel better.”

So, though your boyfriend appears to be listening when you talk, he isn’t really hearing you; that is, really taking it in and then opening his mind to the possibility that you’re right. Only if he really hears you will you see whether he can look critically at his enabling and accept the immediate emotional pain it takes to do what’s best for his son and your relationship long-term.

Since you’ve been unable to get through to him, you might seek out a mediator. A mediator specializes in helping parties truly hear and understand each other. (Find one with a relationship focus at mediate.com, or Google to find free or sliding-scale services locally.) There’s also a DIY option from psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden. Spend 12 hours together in a hotel room: no books, TV, smartphones, naps, or walks outside. Except for bathroom breaks, you remain together at all times. Branden told me that when all “avenues of escape are closed off,” couples experience real breakthroughs in communication.

If you try either or both of these techniques, and your boyfriend still won’t come around, you’ll at least know you’ve done all you could to try to save your relationship. Ideally, the “bonds” of marriage aren’t the sort that involve you risking your house if Slacky Sluffoffsky is too stoned to show up for his court hearing. !

GOT A problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com) © 2020 Amy Alkon Distributed by Creators.Com.

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