YES! Weekly - December 9, 2020

MIC CHECK

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December 9-15, 2020 YES! WEEKLY

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DECEMBER 9-15, 2020 VOLUME 16, NUMBER 50

10 5500 Adams Farm Lane Suite 204 Greensboro, NC 27407 Office 336-316-1231 Fax 336-316-1930 Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III

TRIAD GIFT GUIDE 2020

publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor KATIE MURAWSKI katie@yesweekly.com Contributors IAN MCDOWELL MARK BURGER KATEI CRANFORD JIM LONGWORTH

The year 2020 has been— well, unexpected, to say the very least. From shutdowns, cancellations to permanent closures, this year has put a significant damper on the majority of Americans’ livelihoods, but it seems that local artists— some of whom fully depend on communal gatherings— have suffered more than most. YES! Weekly has chosen to spotlight five Triad-based artisans for folks to support by buying ONE-OF-A-KIND GIFTS to give to loved ones.

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Graphic Designers ALEX FARMER designer@yesweekly.com AUSTIN KINDLEY artdirector@yesweekly.com ADVERTISING Marketing TRAVIS WAGEMAN travis@yesweekly.com Promotion NATALIE GARCIA

DISTRIBUTION JANICE GANTT KYLE MUNRO SHANE MERRIMAN ANDREW WOMACK We at YES! Weekly realize that the interest of our readers goes well beyond the boundaries of the Piedmont Triad. Therefore we are dedicated to informing and entertaining with thought-provoking, debate-spurring, in-depth investigative news stories and features of local, national and international scope, and opinion grounded in reason, as well as providing the most comprehensive entertainment and arts coverage in the Triad. YES! Weekly welcomes submissions of all kinds. Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however YES! Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. YES! Weekly is published every Wednesday by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1.00. Copyright 2020 Womack Newspapers, Inc.

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The roots of American music run deep in North Carolina, as Come Hear N.C. continues its mission to celebrate North Carolinian music with “MIC CHECK: Culture, Power, and the Politics of N.C. HipHop,” a multimedia initiative exploring a new wave of North Carolina protest music through hip-hop artists on the frontlines.

5 Over the past decade, I’ve been able to showcase scores of community organizations on my Triad Today television show, and in the process, I’ve learned that there are several ways we can help these agencies HELP others. The first is to donate goods. Second is to donate money.

And, third is to donate our time. Of course, some nonprofit groups can benefit from all three types of giving. Here, in no particular order, are just a few organizations to which you might lend your support.

6 Each year, the University of North Carolina School of the Arts (UNCSA) celebrates the holiday season with its annual production of the classic ballet The Nutcracker. Indeed,

the show has become a Christmas perennial throughout the world. If there was ever a time people needed a little extra holiday cheer, this is the year. Therefore, UNCSA will premiere an all-new filmed version of THE NUTCRACKER this Saturday as its Opening Night Scholarship Benefit, beginning at 7:30 p.m.

12 Council responses, particularly those of At-Large Representative Michelle Kennedy and Mayor Nancy Vaughan, were denounced in a Dec. 2 statement from the SMITH FAMILY and their attorney, Flint Taylor of the People’s Law Office of Chicago.

14 Winston-Salem hip-hop artist, Clifford “OG SPLIFF” Owens, is rolling out singles and racking up streams as he drops tracks, gearing up to Pre-Roll, an EP due in 2021.

2020 has been good to the rapper and member of the Steady Hyperactive hip-hop collective. With more than 200,000 streams across major platforms and a feature on Spotify’s “Fresh Finds” playlist, Spliff looks back on the year fondly.

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Come Hear N.C. turns up the mic on the ‘Culture, Power and Politics of N.C. Hip-Hop’

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he roots of American music run deep in North Carolina, as Come Hear N.C. continues its mission to celebrate North Carolinian music with “Mic Check: Culture, Katei Cranford Power, and the Politics of N.C. HipHop,” a multimedia Contributor initiative exploring a new wave of North Carolina protest music through hip-hop artists on the frontlines.

The two-part series kicked off with the first installment on Dec. 6, featuring J. Gunn, Rowdy, and Troya. Part two, featuring Dasan Ahanu and Jooselord, will air on Dec. 13.

As Come Hear N.C. organizers note, “From Nina Simone to Max Roach, North Carolinians carry a powerful legacy of creating music that documents the social ills of America.”

But that torch isn’t buried in the past, as five top North Carolina hip-hop artists unite, in partnership with the Black on Black Project, for “Mic Check” to discuss the ways they use music to stand up against social injustice.

Hosted by Mike Williams, of the Black on Black Project, each program will

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feature Williams engaging the artists in conversation about how their music breaks down social issues from policing to inequities in education.

The series is delivered through a multimedia project created by hip-hop scholar Kyesha Jennings to document the ways North Carolina hip-hop artists are using music to address contemporary forms of racial injustice.

“In this moment, Southern hip-hop artists are leading the newest wave of protest music,” Jennings said, “and [these] artists are using their national and local platforms to speak out against present-day forms of injustice.“ Jennings is an award-winning lecturer in English at North Carolina State University, creative-multi-hyphenate and contributing writer for INDY Week, where she runs a bi-weekly column, “Her Take: On Carolina Hip-Hop.” She describes the North Carolina hip-hop scene as “energetic through the lense of hunger. There’s a desire to be noticed— a desire to receive their flowers.

Despite being overlooked, they continue to work hard to create dope music.”

The “Mic Check” format was inspired

by Genius lyric videos, wherein the artists perform and analyze politically conscious verses while conversing with Williams regarding social topics. Jennings covered similar territory over the summer in an INDY Week article titled, ”North Carolina Hip-Hop Artists Use Their Voices to Say Black Lives Matter.”

Wilson artist Troya is the sole carryover from Jenning’s article to appear in “Mic Check,” where she discusses her summer single “Black Boy,” written for (and inspired by) her younger cousins.

Joining Troya for the first round is awardwinning spoken word artist Dasan Ahanu, co-founder and managing director of Durham’s Black Poetry Theatre.

J. Gunn is a fourth-generation Durhamite and Durham City Council candidate who was featured on the BET reality series Music Moguls and is co-founder of the annual Black August in the Park festival.

He’s part of the Greater Durham Chamber of Commerce and serves on the boards of the Durham Public Schools Foundation, the North Carolina Center for Nonprofits, and the Museum of Durham History.

Gunn begins his portion with a freestyle performance inspired by Ahmaud Arbery, reinforcing throughout that “hip-hop is a rebel culture.”

“Rap can be punk, too,” echoed multiple Carolina Music Award nominee Jooselord, whose latest album, MoshPit Messiah, drips with righteous rage around social issues.

“JooseLord hopes this perfectly curated collection of street and protest anthems will spark the most energetic mosh pits hip-hop has ever seen,” Jennings wrote of the record, “hence the album’s title, which was inspired by a moniker given to JooseLord by a fan.”

Fellow Carolina Music Award nominee Kevin “Rowdy” Rowsey was nominated for his jazz band, (J) Rowdy & The Night Shift. He also performs as part of the national collective No9to5 Music, and holds a Master of Arts in Teaching from UNCGreensboro, and has been featured on BET, NPR, PBS Kids, and as a TEDx host.

Surrounding hip-hop, Rowsey holds the position of a United States Hip-Hop Ambassador through the U.S. Department of State and the Next Level Hip-Hop Program. Rowsey has worked as Program Director with the Afro-futurist teen center Blackspace in downtown Durham and is the creator behind two Triangle-area cyphers.

Rowsey draws inspiration and an out-of-the-box mentality fueled by his observations of “producers making their way on Black music, but don’t necessarily have an appreciation for Black culture.“ It’s an ideal upheld by the North Carolina Arts Council, who consider “Mic Check” as part of their “efforts to understand how disparities of race, class, and access stand in the way of its vision of arts for all people.” !

KATEI CRANFORD is a Triad music nerd who hosts “Katei’s Thursday Triad Report,” 5:30-7p.m. on WUAG 103.1FM.

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“Mic Check: Culture, Power, and the Politics of N.C. Hip-Hop” is presented by Come Hear N.C. and N.C. Arts Council in partnership with The Black on Black Project. Part two of the series will be livestreamed on Come Hear N.C.’s Facebook (www.facebook.com/ComeHearNC) at 2 p.m. on Dec. 13.

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Plenty of ways to give this holiday season

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s we do our best to celebrate this holiday season, let’s not forget that there are people beyond our immediate circle of family and friends who are suffering, and Jim Longworth could benefit from our love and generosity.

Longworth Over the past at Large decade, I’ve been able to showcase scores of community organizations on my Triad Today television show, and in the process, I’ve learned that there are several ways we can help these agencies help others. The first is to donate goods. Second is to donate money. And, third is to donate our time. Of course, some nonprofit groups can benefit from all three types of giving. Here, in no particular order, are just a few organizations to which you might lend your support.

Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest NC ... Even prior to the pandemic, the Piedmont Triad had one of the worst food insecurity problems in the nation, and that included the problem of childhood hunger.

Now, with thousands more of our neighbors out of work, the problem has worsened.

Meanwhile, at-risk students who had to learn from home much of the year, found themselves without the nutritional safety net that schools provided. To help alleviate the hunger problem, Second Harvest Food Bank has stepped up its efforts to distribute food to churches and nonprofit agencies that feed hungry people in an 18-county area. The Food Bank also partnered with

a number of area companies to provide meals for kids. You can write a check directly to the food bank, or you can drop-off non-perishable food items at a number of locations in our area. For more information call (336) 784-5770, or visit www.hungernwnc.org Cancer Services, Inc.’s stated mission is “to enhance quality of life for those living with cancer, and to provide the gift of life through education”. Their services include patient advocacy, medication and financial assistance, providing equipment and supplies, offering peer support groups, and much more. 90% of funds donated to Cancer Services, Inc. goes directly to providing client services. In addition to money, you can also donate used equipment and supplies. Call (336) 760-9983, or visit www. cancerservicesonline.org Greensboro Urban Ministry is on the front lines when it comes to providing emergency assistance. Greensboro Urban Ministry provides homeless families in Guilford County a safe, temporary environment.

Volunteers are needed to prepare and serve meals, manage shelters, tutor children, and perform a variety of other duties. Monetary donations are also much appreciated. Call (336) 271-5959, or visit www.greensborourbanministry.org

about volunteering, call 1-888 789-2922, or visit www.mtnvalleyhospice.org Petty Family Foundation ... NASCAR legend Richard Petty and his family support a number of charitable organizations including Paralyzed Veterans of America and Victory Junction Camp, the latter of which provides an uplifting experience for children with severe disabilities and terminal illnesses. To make a donation or learn more, visit www.pettyfamilyfoundation.org Say YES to Education Guilford provides qualified students with college scholarships, and much more. Say YES to Education Guilford also provides students with support services that are designed to help them be successful in life. Their equitybased program begins in kindergarten and includes everything from tutoring to career counseling. Say YES relies in part upon donations from companies and individuals. To learn more about scholarships, or to make a donation, visit www.sayyesguilford.org.

Carolina Donor Services and Red Cross ... There can be no greater gift at this holiday season than the gift of life, and that’s why you might consider donating blood, and signing a donor card. Either gesture requires only a few minutes of your time, and will almost certainly result in saving someone’s life in the future. You can reach Carolina Donor Services at 1-800 200-2672, or at www.carolinadonorservices.org. You can call the Red Cross at (336) 333-2111, or via the internet at www. redcross.org.

Please remember that your donations of time, money, or goods to area community organizations is vitally important, not just now, but throughout the coming year. It’s also a way for us to expand the circle of people we care about, and that’s something worth celebrating in this season of giving. !

JIM LONGWORTH is the host of Triad Today, airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).

Mountain Valley Hospice is a nonprofit agency that serves an 18-county area in North Carolina and Virginia, and provides personalized care for patients at the end of life, as well as comfort to families. Mountain Valley Hospice has six regional offices, and operates two hospice homes. They also specialize in care for terminally ill children and veterans, and offer grief support for kids and adults. To give money or inquire

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UNCSA’s The Nutcracker: Let is show, let it show, let it show

BY MARK BURGER

ach year, the University of North Carolina School of the Arts (UNCSA) celebrates the holiday season with its annual production of the classic ballet The Nutcracker.

Indeed, the show has become a Christmas perennial throughout the world.

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This year, circumstances being what they are, it would have been understandable had UNCSA opted not to present The Nutcracker. Instead, the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic had the opposite effect.

If there was ever a time people needed a little extra holiday cheer, this is the year.

Therefore, UNCSA will premiere an allnew filmed version of The Nutcracker this

Saturday as its Opening Night Scholarship Benefit, beginning at 7:30 p.m.

An all-access pass ($60) includes full access to the Nutcracker experience (including exclusive content), unlimited on-demand viewing of the production beginning Saturday, and a set of Nutcracker coloring sheets available for downloading.

The “Land of the Sweets” VIP experience package ($150) also includes full access to The Nutcracker and unlimited on-demand viewing, Nutcracker coloring sheets, a selection of holiday treats delivered to your home, and a mystery Nutcracker -themed gift.

To purchase tickets or for more information, visit the website.

“This semester at UNCSA has been like no other in our history,” said UNCSA Chancellor Brian Cole. “Despite the limitations we have had to face with the COVID-19 pandemic, I have been blown away by the creativity and innovation that our students and faculty have shown. This re-imagined Nutcracker project is an example of how our unique school, with its arts ecosystem and five disciplines on one campus, is continuing to bring art and creative expression into the world at a time when it is so desperately needed.”

Originally created by E.T.A. Hoffman as Nutcracker and the Mouse King in 1816 and later revised by Alexandre Dumas (The Three Musketeers) in 1844, it was Tchaikovsky who fashioned the story into the beloved ballet in 1892. Since then, there have been countless adaptations and interpretations of The Nutcracker, including versions featuring Mickey Mouse, Barbie, and the Care Bears. There was even a 3-D feature directed by Andrei Konchalovsky in 2010.

This production offers a unique reimagining of the timeless, oft-told tale, which was conceived and created safely in light of the COVID-19 crisis, and specifically adapted for film through the imagination of expertise of UNCSA’s schools of Dance, Design & Production, Filmmaking, and Music. Jared Redick, the School of Dance’s interim dean of dance, joined forces with choreographer and faculty member Ilya Kozadayev, to co-direct The Nutcracker, with noted conductor Karin Hendrickson conducting an abridged version of Tchaikovsky’s score performed by the UNCSA Symphony Orchestra, recorded on UNCSA’s film-scoring stage in socially distanced sections and edited together by students and faculty from the film music composition program.

The production also boasts considerable

star power, both in front of and behind the scenes. UNCSA alumnus Anthony Santos (School of Dance ‘17), of the Dance Theater of Harlem, returned to his alma mater as special guest performer, portraying the pivotal character of Drosselmeyer.

Tony Award-winning and Oscar-nominated actress Rosemary Harris, the widow of acclaimed writer and UNCSA founder John Ehle, provides narration. Eleanor Broughton heads the student cast as the Sugar Plum Fairy. The high-school junior, recently accepted for the prestigious international ballet competition the Prix de Lausanne 2021, played Flower in last year’s UNCSA production of The Nutcracker.

Visual effects were created by the School of Filmmaking, which recently was ranked fifth among the Top 50 Film Schools for moviemaking and storytelling in the nation in the October issue of TheWrap, up from sixth last year and 10th in 2018. The state-of-the-art visual effects were created under the direction of faculty member Bob Keen (Superman, Alien, The Empire Strikes Back), with cinematography by faculty member Thomas Ackerman, A.S.C. (Beetlejuice, Jumanji).

“It is critical during this unprecedented time that we teach our students how their industries have adapted to the pandemic,” Redick explained. “We have adopted industry standards in every aspect of this production, from socially distant performance by dancers and musicians, to health and safety protocols for filming and postproduction, to incorporating face coverings into costumes.”

The Opening Night Scholarship Benefit is an effort to raise funding in order to recruit and retain outstanding students, and ticket sales from the event provide major funding for student scholarships.

“In addition to being the first to experience the groundbreaking world premiere, opening-night guests will have access to exclusive behind-the-scenes content, engage in meaningful connections with fellow patrons, and be a critical part of an artistic experience that only UNCSA can provide,” said Edward J. Lewis III, UNCSA’s vice-chancellor for advancement.

Following Saturday’s premiere, UNCSA will offer free on-demand access to The Nutcracker beginning Thursday, Dec. 17.

For more information about this benefit, call 336.770.1427 or e-mail stansberys@ uncsa.edu. The official UNCSA website is https://www.uncsa.edu/. !

See MARK BURGER’s reviews of current movies on Burgervideo.com. © 2020, Mark Burger.

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Store away “Out of Africa” author Dinesen TV “angel” player Cheryl Bus costs Equestrian arena Puccini song Trump’s first wife Case yet to be cracked Rocker Bonnie Honked Major port of Japan Ocean’s main body — Jose Quality Inn alternative April 1 gag Supple Tons Flinch from fear Roving sorts Danish port city Hockey’s Bobby Internet automaton Freshen Central California city What may develop between eHarmony members Ballet attire Minuscule In the dumps Reebok rival Gift label Carry out Psychic gift Other, to Gabriela Flimflam

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Top-secret govt. group Not colorful 1980 Lennon-Ono album Second half of an LP “It’s the end of —” Vetoes, e.g.

Defunct U.K. record label Boxed stringed instrument Part of FDR Six Flags amusement park in New Jersey Capped body part “Morning Joe” airer Lessens Specialty of Sophocles Flub It’s south of Rwanda Issues a ticket to, e.g.

Minuscule Stan’s old film partner Its first part is “Inferno” Has to have Wiggly fishes Lists one by one Slalom curves “Nuts!”

Fish snarers Tasty tidbit

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Diurnal hooting bird Raging blaze — -garde Give a boost Be admitted “The father of lies” Potential binge-watching buys Heavy sword Lowly laborer Ring legend Muhammad El — (Pacific current) Most sour Grad’s gala Start all over on Got 100 on Three trios Toady (to) Like tossed dice Kind of wasp Part of BLT MLB stat Ending for bass or ball Unkind “Dumb Dog” musical 52-card sets Win every game of Not just short on Helmsley of hotels Invasions Add scent to Salutation on a June greeting card

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Do penance Liquid oatmeal food While furious Valuable qualities Caribbean’s — Islands Chuck Berry title girl “— -Ca-Dabra” (1974 hit) Popular fishbowl fish Gaunt quality Neither fish — fowl Chinese thinker Lao- — As a result Had life Tram’s load “— delighted!”

How much 1990s music was released Fine, rare violin TiVo predecessor Got ready for print Hearty steak Governs City on the Rhone Tour leader High-speed Amtrak train In the — of (amongst) Derby, e.g.

Not odd Trig ratio Legal wrong Sharif of “Lawrence of Arabia” Allot Conception Certain sac That vessel Cashew, e.g.

Ambulance gp.

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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] NAMES IN THE NEWS

— After more than 1,000 years, the Austrian town of F—king is getting a new name, The Local reported. Englishspeaking tourists have had a field day Chuck Shepherd snapping selfies with city signs, even stealing them, and the 100 residents of modern-day F—king have had enough.

According to the minutes of a municipal council meeting published on Nov. 16, the town will change its name to Fugging as of Jan. 1. “I can confirm that the village is being renamed,” said Andrea Holzner, mayor of the surrounding municipality. “I really don’t want to say anything more.”

CLICHES COME TO LIFE

After a heated argument with his wife in late November, a 48-year-old unnamed man from Como, Italy, stepped outside to walk it off and kept on walking until he was stopped a week later by police officers patrolling after curfew in Gimarra, more than 260 miles away, Oddity Central

reported. The man said he had walked the entire way, without using any other modes of transportation and relied on the kindness of strangers for food and drink.

“I’m fine. I’m just a little tired,” he said.

His wife, who had reported him missing, picked him up the next day, but had to pay a fine of almost $500 for his violation of the curfew.

SPEAKING OF ...

— The recent unexplained appearance of a silver monolith in the deserts of Utah has made headlines all around the world.

It also seems to have attracted imitators, including one in Romania’s mountainous Neamt region. The 9-foot-tall metal structure mysteriously appeared on Nov. 27 and vanished on Dec. 1, leaving “just a small hole covered by rocky soil,” a local reporter told Reuters. “An unidentified person, apparently a bad local welder, made it.” Georgiana Mosu, a spokeswoman for the local police, said officers are investigating the incident because the monolith was placed in a protected archaeological area.

— Germany has also experienced a recent monolith mystery, according to the Associated Press. Local media in southern

Germany reported the disappearance on Nov. 30 of a wooden phallus sculpture about 7 feet tall that inexplicably appeared on Gruenten Mountain several years ago and had became a destination for hikers and tourists, even appearing on Google Maps as a “cultural monument.”

But over the weekend, someone chopped it down, leaving only a pile of sawdust.

Police in the town of Kempten are investigating.

TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY

An unnamed hunter near the Czech Republic village of Horni Plana contacted police in late November after a deer startled by the man’s dogs charged him, snagging his .22-caliber rifle on its antlers before running into the woods, United Press International reported. The gun was unloaded, and police said another hunter saw the stag more than a half-mile away with the rifle still hanging from its antlers.

NEWS THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FAIRY TALE

Police in Kansas City, Kansas, responded to a call on Nov. 27 from a man who said he returned home around 4 p.m. that day to find a stranger in his house.

The unnamed suspect was wearing the victim’s clothing, had made a sandwich and cooked and ate ramen noodles, and when police arrived, was fast asleep in the victim’s bed, Fox4 reported. The man was arrested and booked into the Wyandotte County Jail, where the beds surely were too hard.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL

Daniel M. Rizza, 20, of McKeesport, Pennsylvania, driving a gray Audi SUV, ran out of gas on Nov. 27 and called state police to ask for help, but when he was told a trooper would be responding, he abruptly said he’d changed his mind and hung up, according to court documents.

WTAJ reported the trooper responding to the call learned en route that a gray Audi had been reported stolen nearby earlier in the day, and after a check of the SUV’s make, model, identification number and registration, he arrested Rizza, who was charged with a felony count of receiving stolen property. !

© 2020 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate.

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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Triad local, handmade gift guide: Give big, shop small this holiday season

he year 2020 has been— well, unexpected, to say the very least. From shutdowns, cancellations to permanent closures, this year has put a significant Katie Murawski damper on the majority of Americans’ livelihoods, but Editor it seems that local artists— some of whom fully depend on communal gatherings— have suffered more than most. Since the holiday season already looks much different than it has in previous years, now more than ever before, it’s important to support your local creatives. YES! Weekly has chosen to spotlight five Triad-based artisans for folks to support by buying one-of-a-kind, handmade gifts to give to loved ones.

Kinky Ceramics Molly Freilich makes sculptural ceramics that are perfect for anyone who appreciates functional, sex-positive pieces of handmade art. Her creations include “sex toy mugs, face mugs, vulvas, assholes and a variety of other body pottery,” which could be the perfect and the most soughtafter gifts for anyone’s “white elephant/ dirty Santa” themed gift-exchanges.

“I started pottery in college while I was getting degrees in gender and sexuality studies, and sculpture,” Freilich wrote in an email. “I needed to find a way to take a deep breath, and pottery is basically a refined version of playing in the mud. In addition to the fantastic sensory aspects, there are so many possibilities while still serving my personal need for artwork to have a functional aspect.”

Freilich wrote that her pottery is rooted in her “queer identity, invisible disability, and trauma-informed sex-positivity.” She noted that each piece is one-of-a-kind, “that even I can’t duplicate” and sources almost all the materials locally. She wrote that her pottery pieces take a minimum of five hours of solid work and two weeks or more to complete. Kinky Ceramics prices range from “$7 per vulva and $35 per mug.”

The unprecedented events of this year have caused no in-person events, which is where Freilich sells the majority of her YES! WEEKLY

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KINKY CERAMICS work. In addition, producing her work has been extremely difficult because of the limited use of the community studio, which houses a kiln that fires her pottery at 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit— which she noted is impossible to do in her apartment’s oven.

“I’m not sure how to begin to speak on the utter disaster we’re living through,” she wrote. “Buying from corporations like Walmart dumps money directly into the pockets of predatory billionaires that base their businesses on exploitation. Paying for the goods and services of small businesses keeps money (and power) in the community. This couldn’t be more important now, as we see the ever-increasing wealth gap between the ultra-rich and the diminishing middle/lower class folks fly off the charts.”

Folks that are interested in purchasing their own Kinky Ceramics piece can visit the Kinky Ceramics Instagram (@kinkyceramics) and Etsy (www.etsy.com/shop/ KinkyCeramicsCrafts) pages.

Mama Starseed Britainny Purcell, AKA Mama Starseed, is a local artist of many mediums, but mostly specializing in sculpting and painting.

“I have been painting since I was a kid and really began to explore my artistic interests in high school,” Purcell wrote in an email. “I’ve continued to paint over the years but just recently began working with clay in early 2020.”

One of Mama Starseed’s unique offerings are her “stash jars,” which come

in all different shapes and sizes and can be used for anything stored in glass jars, such as loose herbal tea. Purcell said she buys glass jars from local, second-hand stores (such as Greensboro’s Reconsidered Goods) and sculpts over them with her own unique designs. Each jar is finished by Purcell embellishing the jars with crystals and stones from Greensboro’s Eclectic

By Nature. The time it takes to make her stash jars depend on size; for instance, a small jar could take about two hours to complete.

Purcell wrote that her shop is completely home-based, and much of her work is done on her kitchen table or on sunny days, her front porch. “ I love to light some incense, turn on some good music, and start crafting with some positive energy flowing,” she noted.

“The jars I sculpt are completely handcrafted, so each one is incredibly unique.

That’s the cool thing about handmade products; they’re always one-of-a-kind.

My work is also functional art, so it’s a cool conversation piece that you can actually use forever!”

Purcell said that the chaos from this year actually made it possible for her to focus more on her art. She started sculpting at home therapeutically, and when she shared her work on social media, the appreciation she got was extremely refreshing. Even though this year has caused many challenges for everyone, she wrote, it pushed her to start her own Etsy shop.

“I had talked about starting an Etsy shop and getting serious about my art MAMA STARSEED

NOMDEPLUMAGE for years, and just always found a reason to put it off,” Purcell wrote. “I had more time than I knew what to do with and was just dealing with a lot at the same time. My art has always been my outlet for handling my emotions and processing whatever was going on in life, and 2020 has just been a challenge.”

Mama Starseed stash jars range from $60 to $180, and she wrote that she would be having a big sale on propagation jars soon.

“When you buy from a small business owner, you’re helping that person support their family or pay for their groceries. That money goes right back into your community, and you can even speak to the person who is creating the product. I feel like the products that come from small business owners are made with more careful attention and love.”

Check out more of Purcell’s work from her Etsy shop, www.etsy.com/shop/MamaStarseedShop, Facebook and Instagram pages (@mama_starseed).

Nomdeplumage Nicole Crews is a “redesigner” who customizes, tailors, upcycles, and repurposes clothing and accessories. Crews started customizing clothes in college by recreating album covers on denium jackets.

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve customized my own clothes,” Crews wrote in an email. “People - women, in particular would come up to me and ask me where I bought it; if I could make one for them and my personal favorite: if they could

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buy it off my back— I have literally walked out of events with my personal items in a zip-lock bag because someone bought the purse I was carrying. I have nearly frozen to death at concerts because I sold the coats off my back. I drew the line at a pair of espadrilles that I had embroidered because I was not going to walk around a festival barefoot.”

Crews noted that having a local connection in her customizations is important for her, such as her mostly vintage Levis and Wrangler denim jackets, both brands of which have strong ties to Greensboro.

“I’ve been obsessed with birds for a while, and I have a lot of North Carolina bird bags,” she noted. “I sew, glue, and embroider patches that I’ve sourced from my own archives, vintage stores and flea markets, online from my own home. I occasionally farm out some of the sewings due to an ulnar nerve condition that wreaks havoc on my left hand from time to time.”

Crews wrote that this year has been awful for Nomdeplumage because “Who needs a purse when you never go out?”

“So I shifted gears this summer and delved into my caftan collection and started making a few, selling vintage and customizing where I saw fit,” Crews added. “A lot of women responded! It was great. We even started an unofficial club Caftan Nation. They have been a lifesaver because sometimes you still want to feel glamorous even when you can’t go out.

They are comfortable and very forgiving.”

Crews wrote that her one-of-a-kind customizations range anywhere from $20 to $350 and that folks can contact her via email at nicoleccrews@gmail.com or by text at (336) 430-9644 for special requests and quotes. Check out Nomdeplumage on Etsy (www.etsy.com/shop/ Nomdeplumage)and on Instagram (@ Ncrews2).

Tarot By Sky Sky Bradshaw is an intuitive energy healer, textile artist, and “journeyer of all trades” who offers unique gifts such as sequin art, face mask sets, as well as divination and healing gift certificates.

“My godmother was a talented artist, and I watched her paint, draw, cook, sew, and create in awe while absorbing it all,” Bradshaw wrote via email. “This opened the door for being able to work with intuition in general, which eventually lead to me following the path of an energy healer.

From there, I connected to a spiritual mentor who was also a gifted textile artist, creating sequin art flags. That is when my obsession with non-traditional sequin art began.”

Bradshaw noted that her healing gift certificates are her most popular item right now because they are downloadWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

TAROT BY SKY able when purchased and can be either emailed or printed from home.

“They are the gift of insight and healing that keeps on giving! Right now, I am running a sale of 10% off all divination and healing gift certificates,” she added.

“Sessions can be done in-person on a limited basis with safety measures in place or virtually, by phone, or via email.”

Bradshaw wrote that she also “wandered into the world of mask-making” this year while looking for the most comfortable, long-wear and glasses-friendly masks.

“This led me to mask sets, which are ear-saving matching headbands that go with super comfortable, fun 3D-style masks in lots of varieties and colors,” she wrote. “I have bundled these into a cute little gift box with a matching gemstone bracelet, intention oil, and candle for gifting. Porch pick-up or free shipping is available through the holidays.”

She wrote that her gift certificates could be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, and the price ranges from $50-$121.

Bradshaw wrote that right now, she has six 22 inches by 28.5 inches sequined art flags in the $1,500 price range. Her masks and mask sets range from $11 to $42.

“I found the ability to create fast, fun, and fluid little tiny pieces of art very satisfying,” Bradshaw wrote of her masks. “The fact that they also serve a worthy purpose made it even better. In the beginning, I donated most of my masks to the community when there were shortages. I also got to dig through the mountains of fabric in my storage unit and give it a life beyond the bin it was destined to inhabit.”

Bradshaw wrote that this year had affected all aspects of her creative process, and she feels that the physical divide has made her process stronger and has given her much more free time to work on her art flags.

“Part of my uniqueness is that I allow intuitiveness to guide my creative processes where ever that may lead,” Bradshaw noted. “From the masks I make to the readings/healings I do, intuition always leads the way. I feel like people can sense that, and it opens space for them to do the same. These aren’t just physical gifts but energetic connections.”

In the near future, Bradshaw wrote that folks could expect a special collaboration on an upcoming project with Amy Gordon Art. “It is a boxed set of 70 abstract art, chakra-aligned, oracle healing cards that come with an accompanying energy action book,” she noted. “These cards use the seven chakra system in conjunction with seven major human experiences.

That means that each of the experiences (Boundaries, Deserving, Judgement, Compassion, Self-Love, Intuition, and Letting Go) are aligned with how they individually affect particular chakras. There are also 21 major Higher Arcana cards that relate to the seat of the soul and its impressions, which help encompass other need-toknows. Look for the Kickstarter to be launched before the end of the year!”

To shop Bradshaw’s wares, visit her website www.tarotbysky.com.

Urumi Beauty Shari Blades makes skincare, bath and body items for her brand Urumi Beauty.

“I started my business when I wanted to fix my own skin but wasn’t satisfied with the current offerings,” Blades wrote in an email. “I wanted something effective but still within a college student’s budget.”

Blades wrote that Urumi Beauty now offers a vegan and cruelty-free holiday collection with scents that “immediately put you into a festive spirit.”

“From Hot Cocoa and Cream scented URUMI BEAUTY

body butter, to Sweet Candy Cane sugar scrubs, they are all made with the intention of getting one ready for the holidays!”

Each product takes Blades anywhere from one to two days to complete because she makes the product, photographs/ designs the labels, fills, and packages each item.

“It’s so important to show local artisans because we offer a direct link to our consumer base that the bigger stores just cannot do,” Blades wrote. “I make sure each package I send is more of a gift than just an order number.”

Urumi Beauty product prices range from $13 for skin-clearing soaps and rose oil for hydration and hyperpigmentation to $55 for three-piece sets that focus on acne, dark spots, and dull skin.

“I think what makes [my products] unique is I think of the consumer first— the average person who wants clear skin, wants it to work quickly and be effective but not be able to spend $75 on a single mask that will take months to begin working,” she noted of why folks should purchase Urumi Beauty items this holiday season. “I think of how I can quickly deliver skin nourishment at a cost-effective price point.”

Blades wrote that this year’s chaotic events were the catalysts to starting up Urumi Beauty.

“I decided that I needed to take advantage of the two things I had— time and my knowledge— to pursue something I was scared to execute, and I will never look back,” she wrote. “From a business standpoint, my sales are great as most people just don’t feel comfortable being in big stores like Sephora or Ulta. With the increased awareness on self-care during quarantine, more people are willing to indulge in taking care of themselves— and that’s always a win.”

Blades noted that it’s important to shop locally because big-box stores don’t value customers as much as small businesses.

“Smaller business and local artisans get to know their customers on a much better level, so if you had to ask me a few questions to feel secure in buying or just to get a better grasp on how to use items, I would be more than happy to answer any and all without feeling like my time is wasted or can be better used. I am here for everyone who buys from me from start to end.”

To browse and purchase Urumi Beauty products, visit urumibeauty.com. !

KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor-in-chief of YES! Weekly.

Her alter egos include The Grimberlyn Reaper, skater/ public relations board chair for Greensboro Roller Derby, and Roy Fahrenheit, drag entertainer and self-proclaimed King of Glamp.

DECEMBER 9-15, 2020 YES! WEEKLY

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12

Marcus Smith legal team accuses Greensboro City Council of ‘misinformation’ and ‘slander’ *Editor’s note: This article originally appeared online on Dec. 2 and has been trimmed to fit the print version— the “update” submitted on Dec. 3 from this story has been omitted Ian McDowell but still can be viewed online.

At the Dec. 1 Contributor virtual meeting of the Greensboro City Council, nine speakers from the public urged the city to settle the ongoing federal civil rights lawsuit over the 2018 police homicide of Marcus Deon Smith, the homeless African-American man fatally hogtied by eight GPD officers during the 2018 North Carolina Folk Festival.

Council responses, particularly those of At-Large Representative Michelle

Kennedy and Mayor Nancy Vaughan, were denounced in a Dec. 2 statement from the Smith family and their attorney, Flint Taylor of the People’s Law Office of Chicago.

The public comment section of December’s first council meeting began with Anna Fesmire, Co-President of the League of Women Voters of the Piedmont Triad, presenting a petition urging the council to “immediately settle the lawsuit stemming from the hogtying homicide of Marcus Smith.”

The comments that provoked today’s denunciation from the Smith family attorney occurred after speaker Marcia Foutch stated that Mary Smith, Marcus’s mother, had asked if Michelle Kennedy, who knew Marcus Smith, “could tell a little bit about who Marcus was.”

Kennedy replied that she had, indeed, known Marcus Smith well. She then alleged that Mary Smith was attempting to keep Marcus’s children out of any settlement.

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“It is unconscionable for me that anyone could pretend that Marcus Smith did not have children and that he did not love them, because he did. He talked about them regularly. He was not able to give them the things that he wanted to when he was alive, he was working on a lot of things, but his kids mattered tremendously to him.”

Mayor Nancy Vaughan then described the city of Greensboro as “willing to settle this case,” but said “there is another outstanding matter,” which “surrounds the children of Marcus Deon Smith.”

“There is currently a case pending in superior court on the mothers of those children. They wish to have their children’s interests represented in these discussions. At this time, Mr. and Mrs. Smith are contesting the legitimacy of those children. The city must be sure we are negotiating with the rightful heirs.

Either the court will make that decision, or the Smith family must be willing to resolve this deeply personal issue. It would be the goal of council to make sure the Smith children are provided for in any settlement. The city of Greensboro does not wish to spend any more money in attorney’s fees. We would much rather have a fair and reasonable settlement.

It’s in the Smith’s hands at this point.

Speaker Gary Kenton then asked Mayor Vaughan “why the suit can’t be settled and then the heirs determined?”

“Quite frankly, at this point,” Vaughan replied, “if the children are legitimated, they may want their own representation, but we are poised for a reasonable and fair settlement.”

The next speaker was Hester Petty of Democracy Greensboro, a longtime critic of the city’s handling of the Smith case.

“What’s stopping you all from paying those children,” Petty asked. “I’m sorry. Michelle, I agree with you, but you have the power to settle this with those children now, without any more expenditures on private lawyers? So, I’m asking all of you, what’s stopping you from paying those children now?”

“If tomorrow, we settle fairly with the three children in this scenario,” Kennedy replied, “you do understand that would not stop the lawsuit that already exists?”

“Then you just pay George and Mary Smith by the actuarial stuff of what they lost,” Petty replied. “This happens in lawsuits all the time. There is a set amount

for Marcus’s life, for his parents, for his sister, and for his children.”

“We understand that,” Vaughan said, “and I would say our settlement is well within those guidelines and probably exceeds them.”

“Have you even offered the children any money?” Petty asked. “Have they turned money down?”

“They’re asking to represented in this civil action,” Vaughan said, “and I think we’ve gone probably as deep as we can.”

(Vaughan later acknowledged to YES! Weekly that, as far as she knows, the City has not reached out to either the mothers of Marcus Smith’s children or his son who is now a legal adult, as “that would be improper.”)

“And you could have done that before George and Mary Smith ever filed their lawsuit,” Petty said, “because that lawsuit was filed nine months after Marcus’s death. You knew Marcus’s death was wrong— you knew it was a homicide— you knew he had children. Why didn’t the city offer those children compensation for the loss of their father? Why wait until two years later to get in this big lawsuit battle and waste $400,000 on private lawyers, when you could have settled two years ago?”

“The Smith children’s mothers asked to be included in Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s civil action, and they have declined to include them,” Vaughan said.

The next speaker, retired Civil Rights attorney Lewis Pitts Jr., spoke about how much the City was spending on attorneys and how settlements in recent nationally-publicized police homicide cases have ranged from $4 million to over three times that amount.

He then said that the City had been “misinformed” about the actions of Mary Smith.

“Your lawyers, either inadvertently or intentionally—” The mayor then interrupted and told him that his time was up. Pitts directed a remark to Kennedy: “Michelle, I urge you to follow up with this. There’s been no effort to block—” At that point, the mayor cut him off again.

The next morning, Pitts gave YES! Weekly the following version of what he had been trying to say when cut off.

“Your lawyers inadvertently or intentionally must have wrongly told you Mary Smith is trying to prevent the

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children from getting an appropriate part of any jury or settlement award. Nothing is farther from the truth. You need to get those facts correct from the City Attorney and your high-priced legal team because they know better.”

“There’s no denying that Marcus Smith’s death is Greensboro’s George Floyd,” said speaker Margaret Arbuckle, “and for whatever reason, we did not get the national attention for it, but it is exactly the same: an African-American man killed by hands of police on our streets on our streets. We must address the issues of institutional systemic racism that permeate our societal systems and we must seek justice for our children and for those folks who encounter police.

Please take action.”

Speaker Casey Thomas reiterated these sentiments.

“Marcus Smith is dead because the Greensboro Police Department killed him. He asked them for help and they killed him— his death was ruled a homicide by the State Medical Examiner. So, essentially, our police murdered him. And from what I can hear, it seems like the City spent $414,000 to avoid having to say, ‘We killed him, he died on our watch, we take responsibility and we’re sorry.’

Can any of you just say that? You say you’re willing to settle, but can you say that our police did that, it is unacceptable, that you take responsibility and you’re sorry, just to make it right?”

Council did not respond to this question. Vaughan concluded the portion of the public comments section allotted to speakers on the Smith case with the following statement: “There is quite a bit of work that has gone into this, and we are committed to a fair and reasonable universal settlement, and in universal, we include the parents and the children. We know that is important step in our community to foster healing.”

Last Tuesday afternoon, Taylor issued a statement from the Smiths’ legal team, which accused Vaughan and the Greensboro City Council of having “publicly spread misinformation about the Marcus Smith case that slanders his mother, Mary Smith, and claims that the City’s purported desire to reach a just and fair settlement is blocked by the question of Marcus Smith’s children.”

The City, through its Mayor and inhouse lawyer, Chuck Watts, first publicly raised this issue this past summer and we responded to this patent misrepresentation in August of 2020 in a letter to the City’s lawyers, with a request that the Mayor and the Council be expressly informed.

The statement then quoted an August WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

letter to the city’s attorneys from the Smith legal team, which stated: Moreover, it is hard to discern how . . .

Marcus Smith’s life, his pain and suffering, as well as the punitive damages, and attorneys’ fees in this case are impacted by whom his legal heirs turn out to be. It will be uncontested that Marcus had a loving mother, father and siblings, and the value of his life will only be enhanced if he had one or more children to live for, regardless of whether or not they are determined to be legal heirs. That being said, we are committed to the proposition that any children of Marcus Smith fairly share in any settlement or judgement with his parents, regardless of how the question of heirship is judicially resolved.

The statement concluded with the following paragraphs: This should have put an end to the City’s campaign to slander Mary Smith and blame her for the city’s inaction, yet the Mayor and members of the Council continue to spread misinformation about the heirship issue, apparently because they have once again been misled. Mary Smith has asked the probate court to determine who the heirs are, a guardian ad litem has been appointed by the Court to locate and represent the two minor children, and Mary Smith has promised the City that even if she and Marcus’s father are legally determined by the probate court to be the sole heirs, they, to repeat, are committed to the proposition that any children of Marcus Smith fairly share in any settlement or judgement with his parents, regardless of how the question of heirship is judicially resolved.

So, in fact there is nothing standing in the way of the City offering the “just and fair settlement” that the Mayor and council members profess to desire. They have likened Marcus’s case to that of George Floyd’s, and should also have been informed by their lawyers about other similar cases, including the Valenzuela, Gonzalez and Eric Garner cases, that have been resolved in the $7 million to $13 million range.

Contrary to the Mayor’s assertion, the ball is in the City’s court. We stand ready to resume mediation, or negotiations, whether they be private, or, as the city seems more inclined, publicly, in order to entertain a just settlement offer that includes an apology, a memorial, and a just and fair amount that reflects the Mayor and City Council’s public position that Black Lives - - - including that of Marcus Smith - - - Matter. !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

FOR TICKETS CALL: 336-887-3001

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On-demand access for 14 days following!

Plus, dancers with matching masks & costumes!

DECEMBER 9-15, 2020

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13

tunes

14

OG Spliff rolls up

W

instonSalem hip-hop artist, Clifford “OG Spliff” Owens, is rolling out singles and racking up streams as he drops tracks, gearing up to Pre-Roll, an EP due Katei Cranford in 2021.

2020 has been good to the rapper Contributor and member of the Steady Hyperactive Hip-Hop Collective. With more than 200,000 streams across major platforms and a feature on Spotify’s “Fresh Finds” playlist, Spliff looks back on the year fondly. “I’ve been blessed with opportunities and looks I used to dream about,” he said, “so I’m just tryna give all the good I got this year back to my people.“ Highlighting ideals that run through his work such as giving back and getting out there, Spliff noted that he keeps putting out content “because art is a reflection of life.”

“Duality is a big theme in a lot of my

COURTESY OF OG SPLIFF

music,” he said, noting his preference for content that embodies a dynamic of going against the grain with one’s own flow.

“I started writing haikus before music,” Spliff explained of developing his technique, which shifted toward songwriting in his teens. Those early years were influenced by the likes of MF Doom and Earl Sweatshirt. Notes of Mos Def still ring in his voice. These days, motivation comes from both his musical family; and major acts like Kid Cudi, Odd Future, Lil B the Basedgod, and the quintessential Wu-Tang Clan.

With so many flows of film references, it’s not surprising Spliff ’s push to perform came from Backstage, the hip-hop documentary following the 1999 Hard Knock Life Tour. He also credits his “brothers from Speak N Eye,” who booked Spliff ’s first live show at their annual Rap Round Robin in 2016.

In 2018, Spliff released “Bleumob100!” followed by “Hellraiser,” and a string of singles cemented as part of the Steady Hyperactive Hip-Hop Collective, calling the group “my family forever.”

Throughout 2020, Spliff and his Steady Hype fam have hosted a steady stream

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OG Spliff with Tiacorine of live performances ranging from this summer’s #OccupyWSNC movement to Monstercade parking-lot parties to a feature in the Ramkat’s “Home Sweet Home” series.

Lately, they’ve found their own sort of home for live shows at Reboot Arcade Bar in downtown Winston-Salem, where Spliff performed with fellow Steady Hyper, Flower in Bloom in October as part of the Steady Hype Halloween show and recent tribute to SauxePaxk TB, the 16-year-old rapper whose untimely passing reverberated through the Triad hip-hop scene.

Moving toward the positive, Spliff has big plans.

“I love Reboot,” he said, “we plan on doing a COVID-safe New Year’s Eve show with them, and will continue doing shows there into next year.”

For Spliff, it’s all leading up to his next EP: Pre-Roll, due in 2021. He’s cryptic about details but noted that it’d “most definitely” include tracks he’s released thus far, plus a few new surprises.

The first official single, “GO!” dropped this spring, and this short, all-killer, nofiller-style song was produced by OLSC, whose work will blaze through the record, along with songs produced by Black Magic and BushiVibes.

“I have people who I always consider,” Spliff said of his chosen team, “but I’m always down to work with different people.”

The hometeam dynamic also extends to visual work, with Winston-Salem multimedia artist Bosha novART, producing six videos of the videos Spliff released in 2020, and heading production currently underway for videos accompanying new

singles “St. Nick” (featuring Flower in Bloom) and “Luv Me” with TiaCorine.

A film buff, Spliff’s mused ideas of directing and scoring films, but for now, continues to pepper his lyrics with choice movies. Anime and horror are his top genres, with Gurren Lagan and Akira being big influences. Considering Clive Barker’s Hellraiser series a favorite, Spliff denotes the titular inspiration for his 2018 EP, the cover being an illustration of Spliff as the iconic protagonist, Pinhead.

In “Luv Me,” Spliff explores love and betrayal through the lens of Kill Bill and Ernest Dickerson’s Juice.

“Streets don’t love you like they say they really want your Juice,” go the lyrics, blending film and the world outside.

In real life, Spliff found particular inspiration in performing for the Triad Abolition Project’s #OccupyWSNC movement.

“I was impressed by some of the people in my city,” Spliff said, ”but I know we have a lot more work to do.”

Looking far into the future, Spliff’s a man on a mission to “have a safe, ‘allinclusive’ space for creatives in WinstonSalem before I leave the city!”

But first, he’s got plans to roll out PreRoll, collaborate with Sonny Miles and Les the Genius, and “steady hype” the upcoming New Year’s Eve show at Reboot Arcade Bar. “Luv Me,” the latest single from OG Spliff featuring TiaCorine is out now at https://fanlink.to/luv-me. !

KATEI CRANFORD is a Triad music nerd who hosts “Katei’s Thursday Triad Report,” 5:30-7 p.m. on WUAG 103.1FM.

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last call

[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions

SON OF CLAM

Getting my boyfriend to talk to me about his feelings seems impossible. I know guys tend not to be super emotive, but trying to get a read on what he’s feeling is like trying to understand a foreign language. How can I get him to open up to me? —Distressed

Amy Alkon

Advice Goddess

If only the Rosetta stone had included a fourth language: Heterosexual Male.

The Rosetta stone, for those who ditched history class to smoke pot behind the dumpster, was a tabletlike rock fragment that turned out to have the same message in three languages: Egyptian hieroglyphics (long considered undecipherable), another equally mysterious form of Egyptian writing, and ancient Greek. The Greek words were the key, finally allowing scholars to translate hieroglyphics (the ancient Egyptian version of texting somebody a slew of emojis).

Getting back to your own translation issues, it’s understandable you’re frustrated by the language barrier, or rather, the lackof-language barrier in your man’s continuing adherence to Mute Boyfriend-ese.

Shouldn’t two adults in a relationship be able to engage in open discussions about their feelings?

Unfortunately, if they’re male and female, maybe not. Men and women have some major differences in what I’d call

“emotional literacy”: the ability to read emotions, both in oneself and others. Men are not the unfeeling louts they’re too often made out to be. However, women tend to show more emotion than men and be better at guessing others’ feelings. (Compared with most men, they’re practically emotional psychics.) Research by psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen suggests that women are the emotional specialists of our species, driven from childhood on to identify others’ emotions “and to respond with the appropriate emotion.”

Men, in contrast, basically “major” in engineering from childhood on. Baron-Cohen explains that they’re driven to decode the workings of machines, math, objects in motion, and other “rule-governed” (and thus relatively predictable) systems. A boy will take a screwdriver to a radio to see how it generates sound; a girl will mentally take apart her cousin to figure out why she’s suddenly gone all Bummerella.

These differences come not from “the patriarchy” or Disney princess movies but from millions of years of evolution. Differences in male and female physiology carved out differences in psychology and divisions of labor along male-female lines. Women, whose bodies are baby food dispensaries and who are children’s primary caretakers, evolved the emotional makeup to suss out the needs of infants, who lack the spokenword skills to yell, “Hey, Ma, gimme a beer!”

Men, who evolved to be the warriors of our species, benefit in combat situations from being less in touch with their emotions — especially fear and sadness — explains psychologist Joyce Benenson. This would allow a man to storm into battle and get up close and spear-y with the enemy instead

of doing what I, as an emotionally aware woman, would probably do: freeze, cry, and wet my pants.

Of course, many individual men and women don’t fit neatly into the “men tend to”/”women tend to” boxes. For example, I’m not surprised by a recent archeological finding suggesting ancestral women (and not just men) were hunters. (Of course, a hunter-gatherer lady would’ve spent much of her life pregnant or breastfeeding, and it’s hard to spear a wild boar while clutching a hungry baby drinking his lunch.)

I’m likewise not surprised to encounter men who can lay their feelings out like cold cuts on a platter. As for men who can’t, there’s this notion that people who have trouble identifying and thus expressing their emotions can improve through study and practice. One tool for this is a poster with cartoon faces showing various emotions, each labeled with the particular emotion. (Google “how you feel today poster.”)

Realistically, however, the person best equipped to put names to your boyfriend’s feelings is probably you. Consider that men tend to express their emotions through their actions: slamming cupboard doors (mad), sulking (bummed), etc. In keeping

with that, ask him not about his feelings but about events — “What happened when you talked to your boss?” “Did that jerk or that jerk of a mountain lion show up on your hike?” — and you might notice some feelings slipping out.

Ultimately, though, you should consider whether your being happy with this man is contingent on his expressing himself like a woman. If you stay together, you’ll probably need to meet him more than halfway, meaning rely way more on guessing his emotions than his putting them into words.

Meanwhile, focusing on how men communicate through action should help you see the beauty in, say, your being startled by clanging metal and yelled profanities some Saturday afternoon. You go out to your garage and discover your boyfriend rotating your tires unasked. It’s not exactly how Hugh Grant communicates in chick flicks, but if you understand real-life manspeak, you’ll respond perfectly: “You had me at #$&%*! worthless tire jack!” !

GOT A problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com) © 2020 Amy Alkon Distributed by Creators.Com.

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