Live-action Little Mermaid

or the past several years, Disney has been remaking some of its more recent animated classics as liveaction, effectsladen extravaganzas — among them Beauty and the Beast (2017) and The Lion King (2019). Now, the Mouse House has turned its attention to The Little Mermaid , which in 1989 was hailed as an instant classic that ranked with its greatest accomplishments.

By and large, the remakes have been enjoyable, but none have been superior to the original. The pattern repeats itself with The Little Mermaid . It’s no classic, but it does have enough charm and style to recommend it. It also provides a spectacular showcase for leading lady Halle Bailey, who plays the title role of the adventurous mermaid Ariel. Bailey has sass, sparkle, and — dare it be said? — sex appeal. She’s expressive, ethereal, and sings like an angel. Folks, a star is born.

The original Hans Christian Andersen tale gets a token nod in the credits, but the “new” Little Mermaid essentially follows the blueprint of the “old” one. Ariel is fascinated by humans, despite the admonitions of her father King Triton (Javier Bardem) that humankind is capable only of destruction.

Ariel’s interest is further — and understandably — piqued when she rescues the handsome prince Eric (Jonah HauerKing) after a calamitous shipwreck. Having only caught a glimpse of her in his addled state, Eric becomes obsessed with seeking out his savior.

Enter the story’s resident antagonist: The tentacled sea witch Ursula (Melissa McCarthy). Estranged from her brother Triton and determined to wrest control of his kingdom, Ursula strikes a devil’s bargain with Ariel that she can become human for three days and remain as such if Eric plants a kiss on her. Impetu- ously, Ariel consents, not realizing that she will be struck both mute and amnesiac — thereby stacking the deck heavily in Ursula’s favor.

FInitially, it almost appears that producer/director Rob Marshall is revisiting the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, having earlier helmed 2011’s On Stranger Tides . Disney’s live-action remakes have justifiably been criticized for subscribing to the “bigger is better” formula, but The Little Mermaid cruises along smoothly until the third act, when overkill sets in. The climax, in which a giant-sized Ursula goes on an oceanic rampage, is dark and loud and could conceivably frighten small children — something the earlier Mermaid could never be accused of.

Indeed, Bailey and Hauer-King are such talented crooners that another song or two (from either or both) might well have been more enjoyable than the requisite special-effects bonanza. Nevertheless, their talents aren’t swamped by the bombastic barrage, and the visual effects — particularly those simulating underwater life — are truly magnificent. Disney certainly didn’t skimp on the budget; the money’s all there on the screen.

Some things, however, never change: Sebastian the Crab (voiced by Daveed Diggs) is still the scene-stealer and his big number, “Under the Sea,” is still the showstopper. Jacob Tremblay and Awkwafina (rebounding nicely from the debacle that was Renfield ) lend their vocal talents are Ariel’s respective confidants, Flounder and Scuttle. McCarthy gleefully devours the scenery as the diabolical diva Ursula and handles her big number (“Poor Unfortunate Souls”) with panache. Bardem exudes dignified charisma as Triton, which given his outlandish costume, is no small accomplishment. !

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Thong And Cheek

Protesters at the Massachusetts Statehouse bared more than their souls as they demonstrated against climate change on June 15, according to an NBC-10 Boston report. Shouts began to rain down from the public gallery just after 1 p.m. from eight members of Extinction Rebellion, an international environmental movement, followed by a warning: “We are going to be mooning you ... You can look away if you wish.” At that point, the octet turned their backs on the senators and dropped trou, revealing pink thongs and bare buttocks emblazoned with the words “stop passing gas.” The protesters continued with chants of “You’re a senator, not an ass, why are you still passing gas,” and “Butts out for climate” for about an hour before they were arrested and escorted out of the chamber.

Reunited And It Feels So Good

— A first edition of George Orwell’s “1984” has been returned to the library ... 65 years late. UPI reported that the

Multnomah County Public Library in Portland recently received the return from an 86-year-old patron. The patron attached a note to the book, explaining that they meant to return it in 1958 after checking it out as a Portland State University student, they just “never got around to it.” But talk about excellent timing: The library just went fine-free.

— Sheriff’s detectives in Kanawha County, North Carolina, made an odd discovery while executing a search warrant on an impounded vehicle in February: a 1965 class ring from Needham Broughton High School in Raleigh, bearing the initials “M.P.” Their investigation determined the owner was one Michael Pedneau, who told the Charleston Gazette-Mail that he only vaguely recalls losing the bling some 50 years ago, perhaps on a trip to Princeton, West Virginia. “There’s probably 40 or 50 of us

Up In Smoke

A dispensary in Baltimore faces fines for blowing smoke ... literally. WMAR-2 in Baltimore reported that the Cookies dispensary opened May 27, only to be shut down less than a week later after a surprise inspection revealed a laundry list of violations, including “large plumes of medical cannabis smoke being blown from a large gun apparatus into the mouths of persons outside the dispensary,” according to the suspension notice. Cookies is part of a franchise, and Cookies San Francisco was the first to utilize a “Flame Thrower” smoke blower, created by Jeff Dick of Colorado. The blower has since become part of the Cookies brand.

Some Things Beg Certainty

Relatives were mourning Bella Montoya, 76, at her wake in Ecuador on June 9 when they heard strange sounds coming from the coffin. “There were about 20 of us there,” the woman’s son, Gilberto Barbera, said. “After about five hours of the wake, the coffin started to make sounds.” The supposedly deceased had been declared dead the Martin Icaza Hospital in Babahoyo earlier that day, but that evening, “my mom was wrapped in sheets and hitting the coffin, and when we approached we could see that she was breathing heavily,” Barbera said. Montoya was rushed back to the hospital, but the Associated

Press reported that she was intubated and is not expected to recover. Ecuador’s Health Ministry has launched an investigation into the incident.

TWO PAWS UP, WAY UP

Theatergoers in Thailand have a new pet-friendly place to bring their furry friends. Yahoo News reported that the country’s largest movie theater chain, Major Cineplex Group, started offering weekend showtimes for patrons who want to bring Fluffy or Fido with them. Of course, there’s a catch: Pets must weigh under 11 pounds and either wear a diaper or be kept in a carrier. Visitors turned out in droves for a pets-welcome showing of “The Little Mermaid,” cosplaying their creature companions as Sebastian the crab and Ariel the mermaid. Not everyone’s a fan, however; as one former resident said, “It’s so ridiculous dogs are not allowed in (most Bangkok) parks but they can go to a movie or cafe. What comes next, you bring your dog or cat to a massage parlor?” !

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122 Hit of the past

123 Prefix with fiche

124 Quality of a dirty chimney

125 Howled wolfishly 126 Does in, as a dragon

Down

1 Jetway locale

2 Plow pullers

3 “Diary of — Housewife”

4 Careful reader

5 Race joiner

6 Bruin Bobby

7 Pigeon calls

8 Sits next to

9 Helpful boost

10 Oar wood

11 NPR journalist Daniel

12 Depend on

13 Cattle home

14 Congest with fluid

15 Kin of reggae

16 Prints messily

17 Savoir- —

18 Onetime TWA rival

19 Gives temporarily

24 “— -Ho” (“Snow White” song)

28 Sheep call 31 Church tower 33 Archaic verb ending 34 Alliance of the W. Hemisphere

35 Clip, as wool 36 On — firma

37 Is furious

38 Possesses

42 Fond du —, Wisconsin

43 Up to, in ads

44 Med. exam involving a forearm jab

45 Sneaky laugh

46 Et — (and others, in footnotes)

47 “Fist City” singer Loretta 48 Safecracker, slangily