hidden landscapes hidden portraits
yesod nosek
A jó utazónak nincs határozott útiterve és szándéka sem a megérkezésre. Lao Tzu
Valaki ülhet börtönében mégha a cella ajtaja záratlan is de befelé nyílik, amig fel nem tünik neki hogy a nekifeszülés helyett inkább húznia kellene. Semmi sem nehezebb mint nem félrevezetni önmagunkat. Ludwig Wittgenstein
A dolgok pontosan olyanok mint amilyennek tünnek, és mögöttük... semmi sincs. Jean Paul Sartre
A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. Lao Tzu
A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push. Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself. Ludwig Wittgenstein
Things are entirely what they appear to be and behind them... there is nothing. Jean Paul Sartre
hidden portraits
hidden landscapes Late night shopping I was a in front of a multi-story building - it was late at night. It seemed like downtown New York. The walls were all glass with metal supports, it looked like a palm house from the cast iron era. It was thoroughly transparent, I could look into all the apartments, – most people were sleeping – but I could see clearly a couple having sex in a room and I had wondered if anybody else could have seen it also. I was supposed to visit some friends in this building but I was locked out and I couldn’t find their phone number. I left the house and I found myself in a bustling Chinese bazaar. I met a young caucasian woman there who was attractive and seemed to be attracted to me - she told me that she spent a few months studying in the far east, but she wouldn’t tell me what she studied. I wanted to give her my phone number – but my golden marker pen that I used on a discarded chinese poster – kept writing numbers on it’s own. More numbers than my phone number – I wrote one number and it came out in clusters of three or four random numbers instead, perfectly formed – like print. I couldn’t retain these numbers but I remember a lot of 4’s. I looked around in the bazaar and bought some stones, simple yellowish colored river stones - and I was told - that I was also given a child as a bonus. I didn’t pay attention, or probably just ignored this unexpected randomness of information from the salesperson, who barely spoke English anyway. I was hungry and I wanted to eat something next door but i couldn’t explain myself because the people there were all Chinese and didn’t speak any English – I could only try to draw what I wanted. I saw little pastry disks they were preparing there with all kinds of toppings. I just wanted asparagus on them. I drew a blue asparagus with a brush which was like a marker first, but as I started using it transformed into a
fairly big brush. I used the same wrapping paper to draw on what I used for the phone number before; the blue ink went over yellow and red swats of color, like a calligraphy. Everybody immediately recognized my asparagus and admired my drafting skill – but I didn’t get the food. It was time to pay for my purchase. They wrapped up everything - the river pebbles in the same poster I used before for writing and drawing - and I threw one of the stones I warmed in my hand inside the package before they completely closed it. I heard the sound as the pebble hit the other stones inside. I had to exit and go to an other room on a side street to receive my package after payment. This room was an empty and dirty garage with a big opening to the street. My package get significantly bigger about ten times bigger. They tore off the top corner of the packaging and delivered only that little scrap to me first. I wasn’t sure if this was a joke - so I asked for the rest of my package. They said in all seriousness that there was a problem, because there was a living child in the package - and they wonder if that belonged to me? They showed me three little old and dirty looking statues placed in the opposite corner of the garage on the floor next to the oil stained wall. One was like a small statue with big head and a tiny body – it was covered by cracked gold leaf – the others looked ornamental, decorative pieces but made of the same material – they looked very old. I now just remembered that I was to receive a “child” and immediately felt remorse and guilt for the time I spent trying to get food and drawing and doing all kinds of things instead of retrieving this little creature. It felt like hours went by since I was told that this is waiting for me. I claimed the child. Indeed the statue was alive and spoke perfect English. Smiled at me and assured me that everything is all right with him and how happy he is that I found him. The other two decorative things were alive as well, swirled their little ornaments – disconnected from his body but still part of him. There was a droning buzz in the air. I felt excitement and love and belonging.
Repülés öneröböl
tetején, mert nincs elég emelöeröm amikor repülök. Kell tehát találnom egy olyan pontot ahol ezt meg tudom tenni.
Elrugaszkodtam – és mintahogy azt vízalatti úszásnál szoktam – megpróbáltam a legáramvonalasabb testtartást felvenni hogy minél gyorsabban haladjak a levegöben. A levegönek sokkal kisebb az ellenállása mint a víznek, és bár gyorsabban és messzebb jutottam, éreztem hogy ahogyan lassulok lassan ereszkedem is a föld felé, – a gravitáció ereje elhatalmasodik a kezdö momentum erején.
Találomra elindultam egy irányba és hamarosan észrevettem hogy a falak magassága egyre csökken, vagyis a talajszint emelkedik rézsüsen - mintha egy hegy oldalához illeszkedne az egész építmény. Abban reménykedtem hogy ha ez igy folytatódik akkor lesz egy pont ahol a fal teteje találkozik a hegy oldalával és ott a szilárd földön állva hátam nekifeszítésével kiszakíthatom az acélhálót.
Próbáltam evezni és ez egy kicsit segített, de hamarosan rájöttem hogy csak annyiban amennyire a szándékom kifejezése forditódott át mozgássá. Nincsenek szárnyaim tehát hiába evezek karjaimmal ennek semmi hatásfoka nincs. Viszont akaratom és szándékom és bátorságom az ami a repülést elösegíti.
Reményem valóra vált, testem minden erejét megfeszítve kiszabadultam börtönömböl és a hegytetöröl a szabadság mámorával és a meleg hegyvidéki szél szárnyán magasba röppentem. Egy hatalmas hegyvonulat terült el alattam kopár sziklákkal és sivatagi tájjal, csak a mélyebben fekvö részeken zöldült ki a táj ahol teraszosan lépcsözött hegyoldalak meandere látszott.
Persze könnyebb magaslatról magaslatra szállni és ezért kerülni is kell a földreszállást ha lehet mert nagyobb koncentrációt és akarateröt igényel a felfelé repülés. Persze a szél és légmozgások segíthetnek, a felfelé tóduló meleg légáramlatban nagyszerü érzés ahogy az hátára veszi az embert. Egy furcsa építményben találtam magam. Több emetnyi, sárgás kötéglák falai vettek körül amelyek keskeny utcákat képeztek és egy labirintust alkottak. Bármerre néztem csak falak vettek körül, keresztezödések, újabb utcák újabb keresztezödések és egy idö után már azt sem tudtam hogy körbe körbe járok-e vagy valamilyen irányba – csak jeltelen csupasz falak vettek körül. Felrepültem a falak tetejéig ahol egy acélhálót találtam amely elzárta a szabad eget. Rádöbbentem hogy rabságban, kelepcében vagyok. Innen nincs menekvés. Hiába próbálnám, nem tudnám kifeszíteni a hálót a fal
Magasan voltam alig volt levegö. Lejebb ereszkedtem és az egyik kopár hegyoldalon emberek hangyáit véltem felfedezni. Egy teraszosan kiképzett földút mellett egy hegyoldalba vájt kocsmát láttam és elötte szines ponchókba öltözött sapkás és kalapos emberek néztek fel rám ámulattal. Peruban voltam.
Selfinduced flight
I had recoiled and pushed – as I would swim under water – trying to adopt the most streamlined posture to advance in the air the fastest. Air has much less resistance than water, and though I had advanced faster and farther I sensed my slowing down and dropping towards the ground as the gravitational force started to overpower the initial impetus. I have tried to paddle with my arms, to swim and it helped a little but only as much as the expression of my will was translated to movement. I do not have wings so paddling with my arms had very little efficiency. Conversely my will, my intent and my fortitude that helped my flight. Certainly easier to fly from elevation to elevation therefore one should avoid landing on the ground if possible, because it requires much more concentration and power of will to take off. The lifting wind and the shouldering warm upwards rush of air is sure a magnificent feeling. I have found myself in a peculiar building. I was surrounded by yellowish stone brick walls of several stories high forming narrow streets and creating a labyrinth. Any direction I looked there were only walls, intersections more alleys and more intersections – after a while I lost my direction and didn’t know if I am going in a circle or to some direction. There were only unmarked bare walls surrounding me.
I have ascended to the top of the wall to find a steel mesh ceiling under the free sky. I had realized that I am a prisoner in a trap. No escape from here. If I would try to pry the steel mesh at the top of the wall while flying it would be in vain since I don’t have any leverage. Therefore I must find a place where I can do this. Randomly I had set out to a direction and soon I noticed that the height of the walls were decreasing or rather the ground level was rising as an incline of an embankment – as if the structure was attached to the side of a mountain. My hope was that at some point the top of the wall will meet the inclining mountainside and there I will be able to push the steel mesh with the power of my back standing on firm ground. My expectation materialized and with all my might I had freed myself from my prison and over the mountain peak I soared high with the help of the warm current of the highland wind elated me with joy of freedom. An enormous mountain range stretched below me – an arid landscape of bare rocks and farther below green vegetation on meandering terraces. I was on high elevation the air was thin. Descending lower I have seemed to discover people like ants. On the side of a dirt road carved in the mountainside I saw a cantina and people dressed in colorful ponchos and knitted hats looked up to me with awe. I was in Peru.