ENDLESS LOVE

(Syd and Audra’s Love Story, 57 years and counting) by Imani Monica McCullough

Whoever said opposites attract must have been talking about Otha (affectionately known as “Syd”) and Audra Sydnor.

Syd describes himself as a “country bumpkin” because he grew up on a farm in southern Virginia. He left there to attend Elizabeth City State University (an HBCU in North Carolina), then went on to NYU to get an M.B.A. Notably, Syd had a strong appreciation for all kinds of music – including jazz, blues, and R&B.

Audra, who Syd affectionately refers to as a “city slicker,” grew up in Philadelphia. She left there to attend Morgan State University (an HBCU in Baltimore), then went on to Columbia to get an M.A. in literature and languages. Notably, Audra thought jazz, blues, and R&B music “was polluting the mind” because that’s what she’d been taught in Sunday School.

One thing they did have in common, however, was an interest in politics. Audra and Syd had both been involved in the civil rights movement while in undergrad and each had spent a small amount of time in jail after participating in political events that their parents warned them against.

As fate would have it, mutual friends led to the “country bumpkin” and “city slicker” being at the same political rally in the Fall of 1965 – where they were discussing ways to solve some of the social issues that Black people were facing and ways to boycott (not protest).

At Columbia, we had a prominent law student who was the first Black to attend the University of Mississippi - James Meredith. He sponsored a political rally party at a friend’s house. And I saw this cute young lady sitting in front of me... At some point in the conversation, James Meredith disappeared from my mind – because I was a 23-year-old guy looking at a very attractive girl.

Audra remembers that Syd kept trying to connect at the rally, asking her questions about herself and about Philly. Although Audra thought he was cute, she wasn’t interested because he seemed too opinionated, and in her mind, seemed to always want to be right about everything. Plus, as Audra told Syd, she had an out-oftown boyfriend — to which he replied, ‘yeah, I know you told me that. But he’s not here and I am.” (Audra confesses she was a little impressed by his confidence.)

Meanwhile, the political rally continued.

“Because of Dr. King we were just beginning to be a little more vocal about who we are. Not sitting back anymore, being quiet and accepting all the nonverbal insults. We always wanted to be peaceful and vocal, but not radical... Blacks were under a lot of fire; it was a time when they were still using dogs and hoses [to stop demonstrations],” Audra said.

In the weeks that followed, Audra and Syd continued to run in the same circles. Each time they saw each other they would “talk” (according to Syd) or “argue” (according to Audra) about everything from politics to music. Their first big “discussion” was about Ray Charles; Syd liked his music, but Audra did not.

Finally, Syd convinced Audra to at least give the music a chance, with a daytime outing (not a date) to the Apollo theater. Audra admits she was scared to death ... and that she absolutely LOVED it. She also appreciated that Syd didn’t have much money and chose to spend it on her. After that, they continued to explore New York City together, and Syd’s adventurous outings became fun for Audra. By Valentine’s Day, she agreed to go on a real date.

I hate to say he grew on me because that doesn’t sound very romantic, but over time, I learned to appreciate what he was saying and our conversations calmed down so we could have a healthier discourse and agree to disagree. [At first,] I was trying to force him to see my way of thinking, and he was trying to force me to see his way, and after a while we decided ‘well there is no way.’ It’s just a difference and differences are ok. And [the differences weren’t] enough to stop us from liking each other or falling in love.

A few months later, Audra graduated with her M.A. degree and completed paperwork for the Peace Corps because she wanted to see the world. At that point they hadn’t discussed marriage, but they were still enjoying each other’s company.

Then life threw a curve ball. Shortly after Audra’s birthday in September, Syd told her they needed to talk. His big news: Syd had to leave school because he’d been drafted into the Army, so they had to make some decisions.

At that point I realized that I really, really didn’t want to lose him.

The couple didn’t have enough time to get married before Syd was deployed in October, so they decided to do it when he came home on leave. Syd came back two months later, and they were married in an intimate church ceremony on December 19, 1966 – just ten months after their first date. Sadly, Audra’s parents weren’t supportive of the wedding because of their age and because they hadn’t yet gotten to meet Syd. They chose not to attend.

When asked about challenges they faced after becoming “Mr. and Mrs.,” Syd said: “Audra and I grew up together. We had the book knowledge, but we were really two babes in the woods.”

Audra admits that she had never thought about being a military wife. Syd decided to become an officer and served two tours in Vietnam, three years in Panama, and frequently traveled for other service duties. That meant Audra was often left to take care of the home and children.

Through it all, they stood by each other. Although they started with very humble beginnings as a teacher and a Private, Audra ascended to Assistant Superintendent and Syd rose to the level of Lieutenant Colonel. (Syd also completed his M.B.A. at Frostburg State University.)

How have they made it 57 years and counting? According to Syd and Audra, they put God at the center of their relationship, always keeping I Corinthians 13:4-7 at the forefront of their minds (“Love is patient ...”) and starting most days with “I love you.” They learned how to have arguments, how to compromise, and how to agree to disagree. And they learned how to find common things they enjoy doing together. The list has evolved over the years, and now includes working out, going to the theater, and going to smooth jazz concerts. They also had to learn to give each other space to do things that don’t involve each other.

Finally, and most importantly, the couple attributes their success to the fact that they actually like each other.

“I always say ... love is one thing, but you also have to like them. Like is: can you sit down and talk to each other without anyone else around?”

For the Sydnors, the answer is a resounding YES; which is why they have an Endless Love.