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Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa October 2026

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October brings us many things, but sadly, plentiful riding in Iowa is not one of them. The riding season is winding down, completely over for some, never over for others, but the lack of long sun-shiny days is past us for the 2026 riding season. There can still be some amazing leaf rides and some short trips here and there, but the days of taking off without extra gear and some planning is over. I know that this year I was able to put some miles on more than one of my machines, and that was pretty awesome and will live in my memories for quite some time. I was fortunate enough to be able to make the time to ride more and I am sure happy that I did. As I get older, I am realizing that the number of miles I can ride in a day or in a weekend take a bigger toll on my body than they have in years past. Yes, I am feeling my age a little bit, but far from giving up on doing what I love to do! Make a point to get out and ride and enjoy the road like there is no tomorrow!

high speed conveyances, ethanol mandates, autonomous vehicle safety issues, automatic license plate readers and FLOCK cameras, and the preservation of the ability to utilize the internal combustion engines as a way of transit and recreation. I know, I know, you just want to ride your motorcycle and be left alone. Same here! If we do not make sure our voice is heard with our local, state, and federal lawmakers though, they will steam roll legislation through that can limit our freedoms and we sure as hell don’t want that! If you want more information on these or any other topics, you can look at mrf.org, abateiowa.org, or hell, even reach out to me and I would be glad to chat on any of these items and even more. Together our voices can be heard loud and clear at the capital, first of which is at the voting booths. This time of year, with riding season about done with, some advertisers like to bow out of the magazine for the winter months, and we get that. With fewer ads, we drop in pages and that is normal for this time of year. We would like to offer a heartfelt thank you to our loyal advertisers as they keep the lights on for Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa and have been doing so since 2010! We are always on the lookout for more places that would love to get their ads on our pages, but we cannot make it to every place we would want to. If there is a place that would love to have the magazines for customers and want to at least do a Biker Friendly Listing or a block ad in the magazine, reach out to me or any of the sales staff on the contents page. Thanks in advance for the help with spreading the word and helping us out!

October brings up some great time for all of us to do some preelection research into candidates running for office. Do you know your local, state, and federal people that represent you? If not, there are a number of sites you can check out such as https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials and/or https://www.ballotready.org/us/iowa. You can see who represents you, who is up for election or re-election, and with a little more digging, who is running against each candidate. It is more important than ever to keep tabs on what things are going on politically as we have some issues that can cause negative repercussions for the biker community as a whole. Some things of interest that we may want to watch out for are right to repair and modify Enjoy this ghoulish month! legislation, motorcyclist profiling, electronic bikes/scooters/ Vernon

On the Cover

vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com Ghosts and ghouls or goth babes and spooky trikes, what is Proud Editor/Owner Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa your choice? Well this month’s cover features an obvious Proud Owner Thunder Guns West and Thunder Guns IMDA Board Member preference with one of “Natanic” Nate Ullrich’s killer shoots! The 1957 Servi-Car chopper has a perfect look for Iowa COC Legislative Officer a gothic October theme, and Christina’s suited up with her best black lip-stick, and a sexy long black gown, to set the Quote of the Month: “Our political leaders will know our mood in an old Iowa cemetery. Check out our centerfold priorities only if we tell them, again and again, and if those this month for more details, and head to Natanic.com for priorities begin to show up in the polls.” Peggy Noonan more of Cristina and this “survivor” trike chopper! 4 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

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I didn’t sign up for this mid 90’s weather in September. The beginning of the Sturgis week was 100+ degrees and now fall Conesville Rally and the Blackhawk Swap Meet are set on broil. It almost makes a person wish for winter… not. Speaking of Sturgis, it seems that many, including myself, felt it was an odd year. The vibe was definitely different. Incredible heat, then a huge turnout for the opening weekend, and then a mass exodus with nasty weather setting in for the later part. Maybe all these variables just colluded to create a strange event. Karla and I ended up coming home a day early and were so glad that we missed the golf ball-sized hail in Nemo by 45 minutes. Many windshields and taillights were taken out that day. I’m sure by now many of you have seen the official Sturgis Rally Magazine which had an awesome article spotlighting Charlie “Chopper” Gilmore, and his recognition as a Freedom Fighter recipient and museum Hall of Famer along with his brother Slider. It mentioned Charlie’s “Price of Freedom” presentation and the huge cost to preserve our way of life. Great article and pictures!

choose our path. Life happens and we try to do the best we can with what and where we are. I’ve heard it said that “In life, we can’t really choose greatness but we can choose goodness, and that can, and often does, lead to greatness.” The faithfulness to one another, the independence and freedoms currently afforded us in our country, the belief in our God and desire to follow Jesus, all help us appreciate and more fully understand what Charlie talks about in his “Price of Freedom” presentations. Scripture tells us that we are not our own but we were purchased at a great price and to therefore honor God. It’s funny how things work but as we honor God, we will also bring honor to ourselves. As we share the gospel and try to live consistently, we also reap the benefits. It’s a spiritual principal that I know works even if I don’t understand the how’s. Those principals are so needed today as the polarization at work in our world and in this country is especially evident as we approach the midterm elections. Civility has become a lost art while over-the-top expressions of hostility and violence have become the norm. Our enemies at home and abroad are working overtime to deceive and divide. But it’s not just a battle out there. The bigger picture is that it’s a battle in the spiritual realm also. That is the one battle that overrides and affects all others. Ephesians 6:12 states that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” It’s frequently hard to wrap our minds around the spiritual nature of our challenges when we see the physical messes right in front of our eyes. I had an old bike back in the day that had 2nd going out of the tranny and the gear grinding was awful. You can only stomp on that sucker so hard and so many times before it breaks. The interaction we have with each other in the country at present is like that horrible gear grinding and sure lets us know that something is way wrong. Unless we get a handle on what is right and what is wrong, unless we appreciate and protect our heritage and those who sacrificed to gain and hold those freedoms, our collective tranny will shell out and we will be stranded along the road of life with no help coming. I believe we are bent, but not broken and that a spiritual renewal is the ultimate and only answer to our current dilemma. Jesus died to fix our brokenness. Blessings, Mark Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org

Reading the article made me think of how much the sum total of our experiences greatly determines who we are and who we become. For most of us, we didn’t necessarily 6 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

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The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com

Biker Accessories Dirty Biker Design 61 W Washington Street Winterset, Iowa 50273 www.DirtyBikerDesign.com 515-444-9050 Hell Bent Hotrods Kickass Designs, Quality Garments Shirts | Hats | Gear | Attitude www.hellbentapparel.com Hell Bent Hot Rods on Facebook

Dealers

Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com

Fireside Lounge 504 W 7th ST Atlantic, IA 50022 712-243-2426 Open Daily at Noon

Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net

Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google

Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460

Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321

Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30

10-Midnight Sat, 11-Midnight Sunday Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128

Food and Drink (Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)

Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com

Busch’s Duck Stop Tavern 608 Inman Street Mallard, Iowa 50562 712-425-3384 Facebook: Busch’s Duck Stop Tavern

Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net

Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com

Heartland Harley-Davidson 117 S Roosevelt Ave Burlington, IA 52601 319-754-1100 www.heartlandhd.com

Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Homemade Pizza

Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com

Desperados 403 East St Street Shelby 712-207-2144 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Homemade Pizza

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Closed Mon-Tues, 4-Midnite Wed-Thur-Fri,

Level B – Bar & Grill 805 6th Street Manning, Iowa 51455 712-655-9290 Level B on Facebook Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar! Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!

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Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557515-359-9998 Riverside Tavern on Facebook Shootout Saloon 3571 310th St Dexter 1 Mile West of Bonnie & Clyde Shootout

712-249-0041 Secluded Bar in the Woods Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534

Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook The Buck Snort Restaurant bucksnortrestaurants.com All 4 locations Neola, Glenwood, Harlan, Council Bluffs The Cob Bar & Grill 29 Main Street Charter Oak, Iowa 51439 712-269-8441 The COB Charter Oak Bar & Grill on Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 2-Close Western Iowa Ice 514 East Street Shelby, Iowa 51570 402-681-6521 Ice Delivered to Your Location

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Zearing Bar 113 West Main Street Zearing, Iowa 50278 641-487-7262 The Zearing Bar on Facebook

Guns and Ammo Thunder Guns 201 4th Ave Portsmouth, Iowa 51565 712-249-5630 Find us on Facebook Thunder Guns West 1101 Chatburn Ave STE 103 Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2632 Find us on Facebook ONLINE SALES www.tgwia.com

Insurance & Financial State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com

Legal Hupy and Abraham - S.C., P.C. Lawyers For Bikers $ BILLIONS COLLECTED $ 1.800.800.5678 www.hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452

Photo and Art Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com

Shops & Fabricators Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 307 E 5th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278

Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook

Trailers

The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads

Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com

Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com

Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954 Grizzly’s Motorworx 102 2nd Ave SE Altoona, Iowa 50009 grizzlysmotorworx@hotmail.com 515-967-0898 Lehman Chompers Jeremy & Donna Lehman Des Moines, Iowa 515-201-8866 Lehman Chompers on Facebook Mean Machine Cycles Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Custom & Full-Service HD Repair Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat by appt only 515-367-7336 Motorcycle Medic 3159 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Fri 9-6, Sat 8-12

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not so USELESS RAMBLINGS

off that week, and the opinions start flying. The Measure of a Society everybody Sometimes those conversations get spirited. Sometimes Disagreement used to be the beginning of a conversation. Today, it often marks the end of one.

the voices get loud. Sometimes somebody gets told he’s completely full of shit.

Think about how often you’ve seen it happen. Two people start arguing over an idea. Within minutes, they’re not debating the issue at all. One is calling the other a racist. Or a fascist. Or a communist. Or a groomer. Or whatever other label will shut the conversation down without having to defend an argument.

Then morning comes. Someone’s battery won’t crank. Somebody has a loose shifter. Another rider finds a nail buried in a tire. Nobody asks, “Who did you vote for?” before grabbing a wrench. Nobody checks your voter registration before digging through a saddlebag for a tool. The argument from the night before doesn’t matter nearly as much as the rider standing beside a broken motorcycle. Somewhere between what disagreement once was and what Maybe the rest of society could stand to remember that. it has become, we lost something important. So, what the hell happened to us? We didn’t develop these Healthy societies have always disagreed. Hell, this habits in a vacuum. Listen to the language we’re surrounded country was born out of disagreement. Once upon a time, by every damn day. Turn on cable news. Scroll through disagreeing with someone simply meant you thought they social media. Listen to elected officials talk about their were wrong. Today, it increasingly means they must be opponents. Read headlines written less to inform you than ignorant, malicious, or morally defective. We stopped to piss you off enough to click on them. attacking bad ideas and started attacking the people who hold them. How often are we encouraged to understand people who disagree with us? How often are we encouraged to fear Somewhere along the way, we stopped asking, “Why do them instead? you believe that?” and started declaring, “I already know what kind of person you are.” We’ve become so damned When the people holding the microphones—politicians, certain of our own righteousness that we’ve forgotten the television personalities, influencers, commentators— possibility that decent people can look at the same world constantly describe those who disagree as dangerous, and honestly reach different conclusions. evil, stupid, or enemies of the country, should anyone be surprised when ordinary people start talking to each other Once disagreement becomes proof of evil, discussion the same way? becomes impossible. I think bikers understand that better than most. I’ve spent enough evenings sitting around campfires with other riders to know something that’s becoming increasingly rare: we don’t all think alike. Not even close. Around that fire you’ll find conservatives, liberals, libertarians, veterans, Christians, atheists, union workers, business owners, people who ride 40,000 miles a year and people who dust the bike off three weekends each summer. Before long, somebody brings up politics, religion, helmet laws, or whatever controversy is pissing 12 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

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Fear sells. Outrage gets clicks. Anger keeps people watching. And division keeps everybody choosing sides.

thinking or force you to defend your position well enough to understand why you believe it in the first place.

But here’s the part we probably don’t want to admit. They couldn’t keep selling this shit if we weren’t so damned willing to buy it.

Neither one hurts you. Unless being right matters more to you than finding out what’s true. And there’s the real test. Can you look at something you firmly believe and still ask: “What if I’m wrong?”

We reward it every time we share something without checking whether it’s true because it pisses off the right people. Every time we cheer when somebody on “our side” humiliates somebody on “their side.” Every time we’d rather score a point than learn something. At some point, we stopped assuming good intentions. We used to debate ideas. Now we debate motives. We don’t stop to consider whether someone’s argument has merit; we decide we already know why they made it. It’s damn difficult to learn from someone you’ve already decided is your enemy.

If the answer is no, you’re not searching for truth anymore. You’re guarding your tribe. Being willing to listen doesn’t mean being afraid to stand your ground. It doesn’t mean every opinion is equally valid, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you have to nod politely while somebody feeds you bullshit. It means having enough confidence in what you believe to let somebody challenge it. Maybe the motorcycle community has remembered something the rest of society has forgotten. Around that campfire, nobody agrees on everything. They probably never will. That’s okay. A person doesn’t surrender his humanity because he sees the world differently than you do.

Curiosity dies the moment contempt takes its place. Once we’ve convinced ourselves another person is evil, dishonest, stupid, or beyond redemption, why bother listening? The rider sitting across the fire isn’t a label. He isn’t “the We’ve already convicted them. The liberal.” He isn’t “the conservative.” He isn’t “the atheist.” conversation is over before it begins. He isn’t “the Christian.” He’s the guy who’ll hand you a wrench when your bike breaks down fifty miles from When we stop seeing a person and nowhere. start seeing a caricature—”liberal,” “MAGA,” “snowflake,” “fascist,” We don’t have to agree with everyone we meet. We never “communist,” whatever label— will. And respect doesn’t require agreement. But before we we’re no longer responding to the dismiss the person, we ought to have enough backbone to individual standing in front of us. consider the argument. We’re arguing with a stereotype we’ve built inside our own heads. Maybe the measure of a society isn’t whether everyone agrees. Maybe it’s whether people who disagree can still I got a firsthand reminder of this not long ago during an pull up another chair around the same campfire when the online discussion. We started by debating an issue. Before argument is over. long, the issue didn’t matter anymore. The conversation became about who I supposedly was. Assumptions were We don’t grow by surrounding ourselves with people who made about my character, my motives, and even crimes I echo every opinion we already hold. We grow by having our had never committed. Apparently, disagreement was all the beliefs tested, our assumptions challenged, and occasionally evidence necessary to determine what kind of human being having to swallow our pride and admit we were wrong. I was. None of us has a monopoly on truth. Every one of us sees the world through a slightly different windshield. Once I’d been reduced to a caricature, there wasn’t anything left to discuss. The conversation wasn’t ended The road is a hell of a lot more interesting when we’re by disagreement. It ended because one side had already willing to travel it together—even if we don’t all agree on decided the other wasn’t worth listening to. That’s not the destination. debate. That’s judgment wearing debate’s clothes. David McCoy Maybe instead of immediately asking, “How can david@thunderroadsiowa.com anyone believe something that ridiculous?” we ought FaceBook.com/TRMIDave to occasionally have the guts to ask a much more FaceBook.com/TRMINSUR uncomfortable question: “What if they know something I don’t?” None of us arrived at our beliefs in a vacuum. Our families, experiences, successes, failures, fears, and triumphs all shape the windshield through which we see the world. Had we ridden a different road to get here, there’s a damn good chance we’d see some things differently too. If your goal is truth, disagreement isn’t your enemy. It’s an opportunity. Someone who challenges what you believe can do one of two useful things: expose a hole in your Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

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The spooky season is upon us, and this month’s cover feature seemed fitting in an old eastern Iowa cemetery. The long dark stance of this 1957 Servi-Car chopper is the perfect fit for the month, still retaining its survivor look from the 1970’s chopper craze. Now housed as part of Natanic’s personal collection of survivors, the 3-wheeler is said to have started life as utility vehicle in a Chicago suburb, but was later sold off, and after that life the frame was raked, boxed, molded, and still holds the original cracked lacquer paint. ’57 was the last year for the springer front-end on the Servi-Car model, and this original front was extended 16 inches and re-chromed for the destined chopper project. The original rear box section was removed, and custom wooden box seat/trunk combo still holds all the custom stitching, aside from a few rusty buttons that have come up missing. 14 inch aluminum slots on the rear and a little 17 inch spoke front wheel then sets the stance for this dark gem. The gothic babe standing upon this custom trike is a beauty named Cristina, who also appears in Natanic’s Pin-ups 2027 biker babe calendar. So check out Natanic.com to grab a copy, and feast your eyes upon more of this cheeky cutie!


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The interior has been remodeled nicely, blending the old with the new without stripping away the personality of the building. The stamped-metal ceiling overhead immediately caught my attention. Whether it’s original or a reproduction, I couldn’t tell you, but it looks like it belongs there. The place was clean and welcoming, with plenty of interesting décor and cool stuff hanging on the walls to keep your eyes wandering while you wait for your food.

AllyCatz GrubHouse 107 South State St. Denver, IA 50622 (319) 404-1200 Mon -Thurs: 11a - 8p Fri & Sat: 11a - 9p AllyCatzGrub.com

Our server was friendly and helpful, answering questions and offering descriptions while we worked our way through the menu. She checked back on us a couple of times during the meal to make sure we were good, but never hovered. Heather settled on the Back Alley, a bacon cheeseburger that arrived thick, juicy, and nicely presented with a side of tater tots served in a little metal pail alongside it. It’s a simple touch, but somehow a pile of tots just seems better when it arrives in its own little bucket. I went with the Turkey Swiss Melt, minus the sautéed onions. It came loaded with turkey, gooey melted Swiss, and bacon, and it was phenomenal. There was no peeling the bread apart to see if somebody had forgotten the meat on this sandwich. They weren’t stingy with the turkey, and with the melted Swiss and bacon piled in there with it, this thing hit the spot.

Sometimes the best places to eat are the ones you weren’t looking for.

On a midJuly Saturday, Heather and I For my side, I chose Matt’s Mac, their were once again mac and cheese topped with bacon. That turned out out wandering to be a very good decision. around Iowa, working our The mac and cheese didn’t taste like something way through dumped out of a bag from a food-service supplier all 99 counties. and heated up. It tasted like somebody back in We’d started the the kitchen actually made mac and cheese. And day in Orchard, apparently whoever was handling the bacon wasn’t made five more paying for it out of their own pocket, because there stops, and were was plenty of it. Nice, crispy pieces scattered over getting close to wrapping things up. We had one more place the top added a little crunch and made an already good side to hit before pointing the trike toward home, but somewhere even better. along the way the fuel gauge reminded me that motorcycles require nourishment, too. Heather, as usual, had her Coke, while I stuck with my iced tea. As it happened, so did we. By the time we finished, we’d both had enough. I actually It was getting close to 5 p.m. when I rolled into Denver left a little of my Turkey Swiss Melt on the plate because I looking for fuel. With supper time staring us in the face, we was stuffed, and Heather finally surrendered with a few tots figured we might as well find something for ourselves while still left in the bucket. When two people who have spent the we were there. better part of the day riding around Iowa leave food behind, nobody can accuse the place of sending us away hungry. That’s how we ended up at AllyCatz GrubHouse. If your own wandering takes you that direction, stop in and I’ve always liked old downtown architecture, and the stretch see what you find. And tell ‘em Thunder Roads Magazine of of Denver where AllyCatz sits has plenty of it. There’s Iowa sent ya! something about those old Iowa downtown buildings that you just don’t get from another strip mall full of identical David storefronts. AllyCatz occupies one of those great old buildings, and thankfully, the character doesn’t disappear If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me when you walk through the door. know at Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa.com. 20 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

In the year 2008 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Ireland and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.” He When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of gave Noah the CAD the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reserdrawings, saying: “You vation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding have 6 months to build the sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who Ark before I will start the spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.” Six “What are these guys in the big suits doing?” A member months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weepof the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the ing in his yard, but no Ark. “Noah!” He roared, “I’m about moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could to start the rain! Where is the Ark?” “Forgive me, Lord,” send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recogniz- begged Noah, “but things have changed. I needed Building ing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape Regulations Approval and I’ve been arguing with the Fire recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors his son to translate it. He refused. The NASA PR people claim that I should have obtained planning permission for brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the building the Ark in my garden because it is development of tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder’s the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure. message. Finally, the NASA crew called in an official govern- We had to then go to appeal to the An Bord Pleannala for ment translator. His translation of the old man’s message a decision. Then the Department of Transport demanded a was: “Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines land.” and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark ‘s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be Well shit. I think my license might be in jeopardy…and all coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the just because of a stupid state trooper. The conversation went wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree like this, when I got pulled over on my bike: Trooper: “LiPreservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special cense and registration, please, I think you are drunk!” Me: “I Scientific interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. assure you; I did not drink anything.” I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the Trooper: “Ok, let’s do a little test! Imagine driving in the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gatherdark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the ing the animals, the DSPCA sued me. They insisted that I distance. What is this?” Me: “A car.” Trooper: “Of course! was confining wild animals against their will. They argued But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?” Me: “I the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and have no idea!” Trooper: “So, you’re drunk.” Me: “But I didn’t inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then drink anything.” Trooper: “Okay, one more test -- Imagine, the County Council, the Environmental Protection Agency you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark light coming at you. What is it? Me: “A motorcycle.” Trooper: until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on “Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Har- your proposed flood. I’m still trying to resolve a complaint ley?” Me: “I have no idea!” Trooper: “As I suspected, you’re with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many drunk!” Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter disabled carpenters I’m supposed to hire for my building question. Me: “So... counter question -- You’re driving in the team. The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadI have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building side. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled experience. To make matters worse, Customs and Excise shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?” Trooper: “A seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the counprostitute of course.” Me: “Yes, but which one? Your daugh- try illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, ter, your wife or your mother?” Things went downhill from but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.” there and now I have a court date to attend... Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonA hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear der and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was world?” “No,” said the Lord. “..........the Irish Government examining him, he said, “Man, how did this happen?” The beat me to it!” hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was trigA drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench gered and snapped shut on his testicles. “Oh,” exclaims the next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plasdoctor, “The pain must have been excruciating!” “It was,” tered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was said the hunter. “The second worst pain in my life.” “Second sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaworst? What could have been worse than that?” “Coming to per and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned the end of the chain,” said the hunter. to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’ 22 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

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The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’ The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned’, then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. ‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis? The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does. Harry was shipwrecked on a deserted island. For several months, he longed for someone to talk to; searched the horizons for even the suggestion of a ship. One day, his commitment was rewarded: A beautiful woman was washed up onto the beach, floating on a large steamer trunk. Harry got her all settled, and fed, and dried off and they started talking. April asked Harry, “What is something you’ve REALLY missed being out here on a deserted island for so long?” “A clean shirt,” was Harry’s response. With a huff, April reached into the steamer trunk and tossed Harry a shirt. April let out a short huff, but persevered: “Surely there’s SOMETHING you’ve really missed out here...all alone...on an island with NOBODY all this time?” “Oh wow, YEAH, there sure is I’d REALLY like a dry pillow to sleep on April reached into her steamer trunk once again and tossed Harry a pillow; and she would not be put off. Striking her most alluring pose, she asked in her most provocative voice, “C’mon, Harry, wouldn’t you like to play around?” Harry got all excited and started jumping up and down. “Don’t tell me you have a set of GOLF CLUBS in there, too?!???!?!”

St. Peter interrupted him. “I see what you mean. I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.” “And the last question,” said Forest, “What is God’s first name? It’s Andy.” “Andy?” said St. Peter, in shock. “How did you come up with ‘Andy’?” “I learned it in church. We used to sing about it.” Forest broke into song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own.” St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, “Run, Forest, Run!” Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said “Unfortunately, there’s only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted.” The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly took off her top and said, “Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.” The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word. The Angel immediately said, “OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven.” Dolly was outraged and asked, “What was that all about? I showed you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me? “Sorry, Dolly,” said the Angel, “but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are.”

ADVICE FROM RETIRED HUSBAND RON: It is imporJock finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust tant for men to remember that, as women grow older, it and he’s in serious financial problems. He’s so desperate that becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of he decides to ask God for help. “God, please help me. Ah’ve housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and lost ma wee store and if Ah dinna get some money, Ah’m there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. When going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!” Lottery night! Someone else wins... Jock prays again. “God, I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lorraine to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for please let me win the lottery! Ah’ve lost my wee store, ma hoose and Ah’m going to lose ma car as weel!” Lottery night extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginagain! Still no luck... Jock prays again. “Ah’ve lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah dinna ning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work Although she often ask Ye for help and Ah have always been a good servant to Ye. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t so Ah can get back on ma feet!” Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God Himself yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake thunders: “Jock at least meet Me half way and buy a ticket!” me when she gets dinner on the table. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the had to take a break, when she was only half-finished mowing the front lawn, I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man... I Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “Welcome, Forest. We’ve heard tell her to fix herself a nice big cold glass of freshly squeezed a lot about you.” He continued, “Unfortunately, it’s getting lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is makpretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in.” ing one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. EDITOR’S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a “Okay,” said Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. I’ve already been through a test. My momma used to say, ‘Life is like a fi- perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with nal exam. It’s hard.’ “ “Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showthree questions. Here they are.” 1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?” 2) How many seconds are in ing, and a sledgehammer laying nearby. His wife Lorraine was arrested and charged with murder... The all-woman jury a year? 3) What is God’s first name? “Well, sir,” said Forest, “The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat the letter ‘T’? Today and Tomorrow.” St. Peter looked surprised and said, “Well, that wasn’t the answer I was looking down on his golf club. A hole in one, so to speak. for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.” “The next question,” said Forest, “How many seconds are in Why don’t witches wear panties? a year? Twelve.” “Twelve?” said St. Peter, surprised and con- To get a better grip on the broom. fused. “Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …” Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

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Day of Abduction

The ‘three of them’ were heading down the hill with the sole intention of intercepting the ‘three of us.’ I do not believe that they had planned on the 300-pound German to lunch the (Part Three of the Story About the Day I Became Legendary) motor in Sammy’s little H-D “45.” Yet, there we were… Somewhere between Bigfork and Kattlesmell, I saw something lurking in the shadows. I stomped on the brakes and immediately turned around in the road and headed back a half-mile or so. Jim and Mac pulled off the road, turned off their machines in disbelief and just watched me. I can only imagine what they were thinking. After a few minutes, they fired up their sleds and rode back to the shadows of the side road where I was parked. When they pulled up, they saw what I had seen… At first, James was a bit bitchy, asking me why the hell I had stopped and turned around in the middle of nowhere, then he saw the three motorcyclists parked in the shade next to a driveway approach. These weren’t just your ordinary, every-day garden-variety motorcyclists, and they weren’t riding your every-day gardenvariety motersickels. His attitude quickly shifted from onerous to bewilderment. Mac, being more of the strong, silent type, just stood there and grinned. Just a very few short minutes prior, I was leading the bunch of us up the hill towards Kalispell (aka Kattlesmell), Whitefish, and Columbia Falls. The road was stunning! It was a narrow stretch of blacktop with a full canopy of Montana pines. The light that was leaking through the treetops and onto the pavement was blotchy and spotty, like a leopard, but only in reverse pattern. Out of the corner of my left eye, I caught the unmistakable profile of a stock, black painted Harley-Davidson Springer and a fat 5.00 x 16 front tire without a front fender. THAT was what prompted me to smash the brake pedal and do a very sudden 180! When I rolled up to the driveway approach, I immediately saw three old motersickels and recognized two of the Riders! The third Rider was ‘foreign’ to me. (More on that in a minute.) There they were: Tommy Boy on his Indian Stranded Scout with an 84-inch Chief Stroker Engine stuffed in the frame, and right next to Tommy sat Sam Skull on his Sweet-Ass Harley-Davidson Duo Glide. Both of these men were “Flyin’ Hawaiian.” That is, they were wearing wildly obnoxious Hawaiian shirts with “MONTANA LEGENDS” silk-screened across the top/back, a nearly life-sized Bison Skull silk-screened in middle, and the Mantra: “LEGENDS IN OUR OWN MINDS” screened just below the Bison Skulls. Apparently, Legendary Pete from East Mizoo had contacted Tommy and warned him of the three Indian-Riding Hooligans heading up the hill towards Glacier National Park. Heeding the warning, Tom contacted Sam, who was entertaining a gentleman from Germany (foreign to me). 24 - TRMI OCTOBER 2026

The engine on the Four-Five was still warm and the kickerarm was snapped in two, nearly perfectly into two equal-sized pieces. Turns out the Big Fella from Germany was struggling to keep up with the hopped-up Little Indian and the 74-inch Panhead. The engine seized on the H-D “45” causing the need for all three machines to pull off the road and into the driveway approach. The Big Guy thought the “45” had cooled down enough to try to kick it back to life when the kicker snapped right off the bike! We visited with the fellas for a few minutes when Tommy told us that he needed to get back to Shelby by dark and would have to leave soon. Sam told the German that he would ride back to Kattlesmell, grab his half-ton and bike trailer, then return to the scene and load up the seized little Forty-Five. The German sat alone on the seat of the Harley and the rest of us began to roll up the hill towards Glacier. It didn’t take a mile of our chosen speed to convince Ol’ Sam that we just weren’t traveling fast enough for his taste. Sammy dropped the throttle on his old Panhead and left us in his dust. Tommy Boy rode with us to Columbia Falls, waved us a “Good-bye” and disappeared as he headed east towards his home in Shelby. Jim, Beth, Mac and I Czeched into a Super 8 in Columbia Falls, dropped our bags on the floors of our rooms and immediately went out to find a decent place to whet our whistles and have a meal. Once the drinking and eating were finished, we returned to the Stupor 8 and crashed for the night, knowing the next morning would bring us to our Ultimate Destination: Glacier National Park! We all slept like dead people that night and enjoyed the Continental Breakfast offered to us downstairs the next morning. People were gathered around as we packed our bags onto our bags and asked us all kinds of questions. We were as polite as we could be, but at the same time, we were hell-bent for getting to Apgar Village where we reserved two cabins for the night. The cabins we reserved were still occupied that morning, but our host provided us a substantial and secure locker where we stashed our bags for the day, knowing they would still be there waiting for us that evening when we returned. After we dropped our bags and topped up our fuel tanks, we entered through the West Gates of Glacier National Park. We had made it, but not quite made it ‘all the way.’ Once inside the gates, knew we had to ride the Going-To-The-Sun Highway to the summit of Glacier: Logan Pass. The ride that day was one of the most memorable of any I can remember. The posted speed limit was 25mph for the majority of the way to the top. It seemed as though there was a double yellow stripe painted in the middle of the road the entire way. Thankfully, there were many, many pull-offs where we could absorb the fantastic views and safely allow the vehicles behind us an opportunity to pass.

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When we reached the summit, we noticed two clusters of motorcycles in the parking lot of the Logan Pass Interpretive Center. Both groups seemed to be about the same in number. One group was Gold Wings and similar Asian Heavy Touring Machines. The other group was all American Milwaukee Iron.

Coffee and very sternly said, “YOU! Come with us!” Again, I obliged.

Not a word was spoken as the four of us trudged back towards the head of the Vendor Staging Line. No one spoke to us, and none of us spoke to anyone along the way. When we got back to Benson’s trailer, they ordered me to step I led us past the ‘Wings and smack dab into the middle of inside. As bravely as I could, I did as I was told. Sammy the H-D bunch. The Harley Boyz must have been ready to pulled the side door shut as Tommy Pulled up the rear ramp/ head back down the hill, as they immediately came out of the door. Kane never said a word. He just glared at me with a Center, climbed onto their bikes and headed away without look in his eye like he was daring me to try to escape! saying a word to us. I think we may have frightened them. The When the big door slammed shut Lead Wingers, however, drifted and Sammy latched the side door, out of the building as we began I remember telling them, “If you to crawl off our Ancient Indian assholes think you’re going to ‘jump’ Motocycles and gravitated me into your little gang, you need towards us and our rides. They to know that I’m packing a magic were most inquisitive and asked little gun in my pocket and it has countless questions. Of course, four bullets in it and the last bullet we answered them all with is for ME!” Benson allowed me the courtesy. We all (‘Wingers, privilege of finishing my warning too!) found it interesting that the before inviting me to, “Shut the “Fmodern-day Pseudo-Bad-Ass -k” up, Sharky! WE’LL tell YOU Harley Guys scattered like mice when it’s YOUR turn to speak!” The when we rolled up on them, but only early morning light coming into the Jap Riders were the ones that that trailer was through a 12” x 12” came to see us and look at our skyleak in the middle of the roof. It bikes. was a bit eerie. I could write a book about our trip from Sioux Falls to Logan Pass and back to Sioux Falls, and one day, perhaps I will. But this is a motorcycle magazine, and a damn fine one at that! Magazines are meant to be digested in an hour or two. Books are to be enjoyed over weeks or even months. At this time, it is important that I get back to the title of this story, “Day of Abduction.” Fast-Forward to Early September, 2007: Davenport!

Then it happened. These three men Abducted me into the MONTANA LEGENDS! Right there! In Tommy Benson’s big trailer. They laid down all the rules. They laid down all the formalities and all the protocol of being Legendary. I would love to share all the sordid details in this writing, but if I told you-all, I’d have to kill you-all, and nobody wants that! I can tell you that they hung the most hideous green ‘Hawaiian’ shirt covered with sea horses, on me and gave me the Secret Handshake. I’ve still got that Abduction Shirt around here somewhere. It has shrunk considerably, or I may have grown just a bit. Either way, it is beyond threadbare and I no longer wear it.

I drove all night to get to Davenport for the Big AMCA Swap Meet and Motorcycle Show, arriving in the last of the pre-dawn hours. I parked my rig at the back of the Vendor Staging Area and wandered towards the front of the line, All I can tell you for sure is that it is good to be Legendary. I just to see who was up there. When I got to the front, I saw can also tell you that one does not prospect to get INTO the Tommy Boy’s large enclosed trailer and Chevy pickup parked LEGENDS, he prospects to get OUT!!! next to it. I also saw Tom’s bare feet sticking out from under the blankets he was using as a bed. I picked up a stick nearby and began poking the bottoms of Tom’s feet when I heard a Epilogue: Sam, Tommy, Kane, and I abducted Mac and familiar voice shout at me. It Was Sam Skull, and he was not Jimmy the following year. At Davenport. In my Indian tipi. amused by my antics. He invited me to, “Get the F--k out of Sadly, both Mac and James have passed on to the Twistyhere and leave Tommy’s feet alone!” I obliged. Turny Blacktop Highway in the Sky. Rest in Peace Fellas. Ride Forever! As I wandered back towards the tail of the Vendor Staging Line, I was invited into a camp to enjoy a cup of hot fresh coffee. Again, I obliged. Before I was able to finish that cup Thanks to Bill Wilson and the H.P. of Motion Lotion, I see three men. All sporting Hawaiian Love and Respect to Vernon and Melanie and all you Faithful Shirts. All walking purposefully straight in my direction. It TRMI Readers. was Tommy Boy, Sam Skull, and Kane. (Not the Kung Fu ‘Kane.’ A different Kane.) They ignored everyone in Camp Alice (LS) aka ‘Landshark’ Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

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The Saturday Evening Post

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I didn’t say it was the correct choice, It’s just MY choice. By Crash Davis I don’t think about storing my bike all that much, It’s kept in my driveway, with a tender on it, and a heavy cover. Main reason for a tender is there is something that draws power on my battery all the time. Hell, my bike will be turning itself 30 next year. Why the driveway? Welp, I don’t have a garage on my property, it’s the ONLY drawback to my home that we have lived in for over 20 years now. Always had plans to build a garage, but the property is laid out in such a way that it it’s going to be a super pain in the ass to pull it off. It did have a garage, way back in the olden days of the 80’s but one of the previous owners turned it into a massive master bedroom. Look, I love that bedroom, plenty of room for activities, it’s way too big and yet the perfect size but it came at the price of a garage. I have sheds, but the current conversation is removing said sheds and putting in a garage or shop, but the space isn’t enough to do it the way I want, or more wife wants. So, driveway parking it is. Like just about everyone else, I keep dreaming that I have at least one more last season ride in my plan. Likely not to work, as it starts getting pretty cold at 5 am when I would take off, but usually by the middle of the day I think to myself, hell I could have ridden because now the weather is amazing and this conversation happens all the time until I see a high temp of under 32 degrees for a spell, then I do

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what I hate, I put my bike away in an enclosed trailer, that Parks right across the street. It’s great because I can pull it out whenever I want, and to be fair, it’s one of the few times I actually pull out. HA jokes, yes, I have the jokes. It’s right there on a warm late fall/winter day but I don’t have juice over there so when she sits for a spell the battery will be dead. I know, I could unhook it, but it’s a pain and usually, remember, I put this away just as it’s getting colder than a well diggers sack and usually I am in a hurry to get about 15 other things winterized because even though I know the calendar is fast tracking to the death of winter, I am holding on with all that I have to not putting my toys away. 30 years old. I can’t believe my current bike is that old next year and cosmetically it’s starting to show a little bit. It’s showing some scars but mechanically it still runs like a brand-new bike. It will likely be crossing the 100k threshold next year as well. But again, like me, the scars and age are starting to show a bit. The bike appears to be aging a great deal better than the dipshit that rides it, but I am already aware of that. As a guy that has been around the biker world for decades, it’s not a shock that I have come to know many people in the industry, including those that sell bikes and they have told me point blank a few times, they want to crack my wallet with a new bike. Or at the very least a newer bike. I am not opposed to upgrading my ride. The new machines, no matter the brand, are just engineered beauties in so many ways, With the new tech comes a lot of sweet bells and whistles, faster acceleration, navigation systems, integrated sound systems, and more. But none of them have a smoother ride than I already have. I have talked with so many people that ride my brand that have the latest version of my ride and they all say the EXACT same thing, “This new bike is so much quicker, the navigation is incredible, the fuel mileage is better, etc. etc. etc. but they always and I mean ALWAYS end up saying… “It’s not as smooth as your version” I like comfort when I ride and I don’t give a shit what

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anybody says. The days of beating up my tailbone, kidneys, shaking my arms from motor vibration are long since gone. Screw that. I have already beat my body up in terrible ways over the years. I have artificial parts, scar tissue, and joints that get stiff. I don’t need to beat my ass even more heading out for a couple of hundred miles or more. I am more than comfortable knowing that I am not a “bad ass” biker riding 125 miles on a hard tail with no windshield. Cool, if that is your jam, well I guess you are just way cooler than I am and it doesn’t bother me in anyway shape or form, I have nothing left to prove. I don’t need to step up in the “Big We We” club and measure it out that way. I can stretch my legs out on my highway pegs, I have surround sound via Bluetooth just like everyone else anymore. The phone mount can give me turn by turn directions if my wife isn’t on the back telling me where to go, I can track storms I might be riding into right there on my screen with my super fancy radar, Mileage is fine, I never worry about that too much anyway. I am on a bike! Five miles per gallon either way isn’t really going to bother my bottom line and the most important part for me, it’s super comfy to ride and I can ride that sob like a MOFO. It’s an extension of me. I can make it do whatever I need to do without much thought.

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I know I need to update soon; I am not kidding myself knowing that it’s an older machine and not only will it have parts that stop working, but you also cannot find many guys that will work on a bike that is older. A dealer buddy recently sent me a SMOKING deal on a bike he just got in the showroom and it was a sweet deal. I mean PERFECT. The model I would upgrade to, every feature possible, I mean it was perfect including the price point. There was one small reason I didn’t pull the trigger. I hated the color. I mean, hated it. Two tone bikes don’t work for me, but the color of said two-tone made it even worse, and it’s a super popular color for this particular bike! It’s a dream bike for sure, but I just know I would never love it because of the color. My buddies suggested wrapping it, no, because down in my oily black heart I would just know the true color and I couldn’t do it. First world problems, I am fully aware, but I just couldn’t do it. Winter is coming. My ride, like many, will sleep through it. Maybe I have another season with it, maybe by spring I pull the trigger. Or maybe I figure out a way to build a damn garage.

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TRMI OCTOBER 2026 - 29


Sep 24-27 42nd Annual MRF Meeting of the Minds Milwaukee, WI Sep 26 CFMC End of Year Party & Ride Cedar Rapids Sep 26 Applefest Car & Bike Show Woodbine Sep 26 Mark Elm Memorial Ride Clutier Sep 26 ABATE D23 Motorcycle Rodeo Clermont Oct 3 2nd Annual Aidan’s Ride Iowa North Point Cedar Rapids Oct 3 Handle Bar Jockeys End of Summer Party Jefferson Oct 10 Tama County Humane Society Poker Run Tama Oct 10 NATIONAL RIDE DAY EVERYWHERE! Oct 10 Hawg Brothers Christmas for Kids Poker Run Atlanta, NE Oct 11 42nd Annual Fall All Vehicle Swap Meet Monticello Oct 11 ABATE D4 43rd Annual Toy Run Des Moines Oct 17 Midwest Cycle Motorcycle Parts Sale Eldora Oct 17-18 Rust Resurrection & Burn Conesville Oct 25 10th Annual Metro Motor Madness Gold Tournament Metro HD Cedar Rapids Oct 31 Tenth Souls M.C. Clean and Sober Halloween Dance Waterloo Nov 6-7 Veteran’s Day Event Big Barn HD Des Moines Nov 6-7 ABATE of Iowa STEAM Des Moines Nov 11 Veterans Day Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids Nov 27-28 Black Friday & Orange Saturday Big Barn HD Des Moines Dec 12 Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines Dec 12 Santa at Metro HD Cedar Rapids

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