Do you ever have an itch that you just cannot scratch?
When and if you can get to it to try get some relief, it is less than desirable and you end up with more frustrations about not getting said relief. Then you just wish there was something you could do to make the itch go away. Right now, as we are rolling into March, that is how I feel about riding. We made it through the coldest and generally toughest part of winter. An occasional rip here and there on a nice day was a nice way to scratch, but the incessant yearning for being able to hit the road and put on some miles is still there…the itch. The only solace at this point is that time is on our side and it is way closer to reality now than it was going into December. I just have to keep telling myself and my family that riding season is right around the corner. Apologize another time or two for having PMS and hope that those close to me continue to understand this time of year and don’t hold it against me for being more growly than normal.
Some of the things on the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa event list in March will most certainly help with the lack of ability to rack up any miles. Gatherings are plentiful this month starting out with the 1st Sunday being the Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet in Cedar Rapids. Joe and Kim put on a great one day gathering here, and have about the most parts in any one place in Iowa for sure. If you are looking for anything for old or new, this is the place to find it. This year due to holiday, Cedar Rapids is the only Parts Girl
On the Cover
We have been meaning to get down to Dean’s again for quite some time, and when Ky said she could make the trip out for some photos, we made it a point to make it happen. His shop is so damned cool with decades worth of motorcycles, collectables, and powersports memorabillia, it is almost too much for one visit. Ky sure as hell made the 48 Chopper on the cover and the Evo Chopper on the calendar pages look even more cool though for sure! Thanks Dean and Ky for helping us snaz up the March issue!
sw yo w al M Pa ba to lik en La th th Sw N th is
swap meet, so make sure you get there! The next weekend on the 14th, also in Cedar Rapids is Metro HD’s 31st annual Pancake Breakfast. Not a bad reason in mid-March to get together with some like-minded souls and enjoy some flapjacks! Later in the month is the Omaha Chapter of the Antique Motorcycle Swap Meet in Fremont, Nebraska on the 20th through the 22nd. This is THE place for parts and pieces for old iron. This is one of the earliest AMCA judging events in the nation and is quite a sight to see some of these old motorcycles get fired up and then inspected by the judges. They must run to get judged, so there are no “mockup” motorcycles being judged at an AMCA judging event. This is always a great place to see old friends from all over the Midwest and the country, and to make more! The final weekend of the month then is the Chopper Show in Mason City. Last year Dewey with the SOGMC had the awesome idea to try to get some of the old school choppers together and we figured why not gather them at an event already happening in Mason City. It worked out amazingly and the Chopper Show was a great success. In 2025, the first year for the event, in honor of motorcycle legend Charlie “Chopper” Gilmore, the winner received an award for best chopper from Chopper! The crowd favorite and best chopper of the show was a bike owned by another legend, Dick “Slider” Gilmore. Chopper got to award his blood and club Brother with his Chopper award, and this year, Slider will be handing out the award. Why not make it a traveling trophy, and each year have the previous winner crown the new chopper champ? Hell, we may even take the show on the road and move it to different locations in the future! Make the rounds around the state! I cannot think of any better way to keep the history of days gone by and the art of the chopper going than to get as many people to see these amazing machines in as many places as possible. Hope to see you at these March events!
Until we meet again! Keep your eyes peeled for hazards on and off the highway. The world is a sketchy place anymore. Be safe
Vernon
vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Proud Editor/Owner Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa
Proud Owner Thunder Guns and Thunder Guns West
IMDA Board Member
COC Liaison
Quote of the Month: “The reason I’m drawn to it is – both the off-road racing and the motorcycles on the track – it takes a lot for me to quiet my brain and anything that requires 100% of my attention and focus I find very soothing and that is the closest I get to being content.” Dax Shepard
Here
we are, one foot still firmly planted in winter with the other foot halfway over the line into spring. Enough warmer days to look forward to riding season again, but too many corners with ice and sand on them to make the reality very relaxing. For many years, our tradition during this indeterminate season was to pore over seed catalogs! Both our sets of parents and grandparents had big gardens and spent a lot of time canning their own concoctions from produce. Mark’s dad made a great chili sauce that went with any red meat, and my mom was famous for her apple butter and strawberry syrup. Both kids and grandkids were happy recipients of the fruits of their talent and hard work in the form of pint jars of homemade goodness, so I guess we came by our “seed catalog fever” honestly. Mark and I used to deliberate for days over which kind of raspberry bush would be better or wonder if it was worth our while to try to grow carrots and potatoes. We did learn a few things along the way such as how easy it is to simply wash the ripe tomatoes and freeze them whole, pulling them out of the freezer later and dropping them into the bubbling soup where the skins slide right off
We aren’t as ambitious nowadays, and let’s be honest: too much gardening cuts into ride time, so we’ve scaled back on the garden. We generally manage to grow a couple kinds of tomatoes, some peppers, butternut squash, green beans, and peas. And no matter what, the squash will always try to take over the garden, the birds will snip the tops off the baby pepper plants, and the rabbits can be
counted on to thin the peas. Mark spends a lot of time tossing the squash vines back into their own area, cutting down milk jugs to cover the baby pepper plants, and - unlike his dad - putting rabbit fence around the peas. (Mark’s dad chose the lesscivilized method of dealing with the rabbits that were chomping his prize roses - he unloaded the 410 shotgun at them right out our dining room window. For decades after he was gone, the rabbits still got all jittery and scattered like cockroaches as soon as they heard us raise a window. Go figure.)
Whether you enjoy gardening or not, the Bible states that we all have gardens to tend to: the spiritual soil of our hearts and minds. Jesus explains this truth in Matthew 13:3-23, in a story called the Parable of the Sower. The Sower, or Gardener, goes out to plant his seeds, spreading them generously all around him as he walks. Some of the seeds fall onto the public footpath where they’re quickly snatched up by birds. Some seeds fall on shallow dirt that barely covers the rocks underneath, so the seeds sprout up quickly but then die just as fast because their roots can’t reach water. Some seeds fall among thorns that the tiny seedlings just can’t compete with, and they are choked out. But some seeds fall on good soil and they produce a good crop. Jesus goes on to explain that the seeds represent the message of the Gospel and that we are the soil. The seed is spread generously everywhere by our good Gardener, but as with any garden, there’s trouble in paradise. John 10:10 tells us that we also have an enemy who comes only to “kill, steal, and destroy”. Not rabbits this time, but the enemy of our souls, who does not want us to have a restored relationship with God.
Maybe some of the challenges sound familiar to you. Perhaps you’ve been looking into this whole salvation thing, but others on the “public footpath” are making your life hard, mocking your attempts to search out the truth. Will you decide that the Good News is important enough to pursue, or will you allow “the birds” to steal it from you? Or maybe you have allowed the soil of your heart to become shallow and rocky because you’re too busy chasing a career or looking for a spouse. Will you make space in your schedule for real spiritual growth instead of just trying to look good on the surface? Some of us feel like our very lives are being choked out by the thorns of life – worry, ill health, trying to care for small children or elderly parents –and we’ve forgotten how to even pray. Can we remember to invite the Lord to be with us in the middle of our headlong rush to switch loads of laundry or change the oil before the next chore calls our names?
As for the good soil, I still remember the day I realized the spiritual significance of the fact that when a seed produces fruit, it provides both nourishment for the “now” and also hope for the future in that all fruits (and veggies!) provide seeds for the next generation. Let’s take the time to provide the best spiritual soil possible for ourselves and for those who come after us.
Blessings – Karla
Mark & Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories
Dirty Biker Design
61 W Washington Street Winterset, Iowa 50273 www.DirtyBikerDesign.com 515-444-9050
If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
Grizzly’s Motorworx 102 2nd Ave SE Altoona, Iowa 50009
grizzlysmotorworx@hotmail.com 515-967-0898
not so USELESS RAMBLINGS not so USELESS RAMBLINGS
When the System Fails
In May of 2020, a man in Des Moines underwent what was supposed to be a routine procedure: an outpatient, roboticassisted laparoscopic hernia repair performed by Dr. Marc Miller. This kind of surgery is performed thousands of times a year. Most patients recover without incident; this patient did not.
He went home after the procedure, but the next day was in severe pain and experiencing swelling. He reached out to Dr. Miller, and he was told his symptoms were normal. No urgent testing was ordered. No emergency evaluation was recommended. He was reassured that everything was fine and advised to wait it out. He did not get better.
Days later, he was rushed to the hospital in septic shock. Emergency surgery followed to repair a bowel that had been nicked. . On May 29, 2020, he died.
Five years later, after investigations, lawsuits, and regulatory review, the Iowa Board of Medicine imposed a $2,500 fine on Dr. Miller and required that he take a course on medical documentation.
are inspected, complaints are investigated, peer reviews identify problems, and lawsuits are supposed to provide accountability.
In practice, these mechanisms often function slowly, quietly, and defensively. The real problems lie in the fact that they protect institutions first and the patients second.
A man died and the system responded with paperwork. PAPERWORK!
If this were an isolated failure, it would be tragic. Unfortunately, it is not isolated, it is part of a broader pattern. A pattern that stretches across medical specialties, professions, and care settings in which the safeguards meant to protect patients repeatedly fail, quietly and predictably.
Modern medicine depends on trust. Patients trust that doctors are competent. Families trust that facilities are monitored. The public trusts that regulators intervene when something goes wrong.
Most of the time, this trust is well placed. Many health care professionals in Iowa are skilled, ethical, and dedicated. But systems must be designed not for best-case behavior, but for worst-case failure. And Iowa’s oversight system has shown repeatedly that it is not.
In theory, the safeguards are strong. There are licensing boards to monitor competence, facilities
The 2020 hernia case illustrates how failures compound.
First, there was a failure of clinical judgment. Severe post-operative pain and swelling are warning signs. They warrant evaluation, not reassurance. Early intervention could have saved a life.
Second, there was a failure of documentation. The patient’s worsening symptoms were not properly recorded. Medical records are not just clerical tools. They are the backbone of continuity of care and accountability. When records are incomplete, patterns disappear.
Third, there was a failure of escalation. No supervisor intervened. No automatic review was triggered. No safety net activated.
Fourth, there was a failure of transparency. The wrongful-death lawsuit was settled privately. No public findings. No judicial determination. No systemic learning.
Fifth, there was a failure of regulation. After half a decade, the response amounted to a fine smaller than many traffic tickets and a training course.
No single step alone caused the death, but together they made it possible.
This type of failure is not limited to surgeons. Across Iowa, similar stories appear in different corners of the healthcare system. Physicians with long complaint histories continue practicing for years before boards act. Investigations drag on. Sanctions are often limited to warnings or continuing education. Dentists accumulate multiple patient complaints over incompetence, unsafe practices, or misconduct before meaningful discipline occurs. Nurses have been found impaired on duty or practicing with credential problems, sometimes after extended periods of warning signs. Long-term care and mental health facilities rack up repeat violations — medication errors, neglect, understaffing, unsafe conditions
— while remaining open. Fines become operating expenses. Residents remain at risk.
Different professions. Same outcome. Delayed accountability.
These failures are not accidental. They are structural.
Most medical boards are dominated by members of the profession they regulate. This promotes expertise, but also loyalty. Colleagues judge colleagues. Friends discipline friends. Careers are weighed against consequences. It is not corruption It is human nature.
Complaints take months or years to resolve. During that time, practitioners continue working. Patterns accumulate quietly. By the time action is taken, the damage is already done.
Malpractice cases are frequently resolved behind closed doors. While settlements can help families move on, they also prevent public accountability and learning. Mistakes vanish into nondisclosure agreements.
Inspection agencies and licensing boards are chronically understaffed. Investigators carry heavy caseloads and follow-up is inconsistent. Serious issues are triaged like minor ones.
Fines are small. License restrictions are rare. Suspensions are uncommon. Revocations are exceptional. For institutions and professionals, discipline often costs less than reform.
The real price of these failures falls to the patients. Elderly residents who fall in understaffed facilities. Disabled adults whose complaints are dismissed. Mental health patients placed in unsafe environments. Surgical patients whose warning signs are minimized.
Families are forced to become experts in medical regulation after a tragedy. They learn the system when it is too late to matter. They discover that there is no fast track for justice. No clear appeal. No guarantee that what happened to them will not happen again to someone else.
When regulators respond to cases like the Miller death with narrow, technical sanctions, they reinforce a dangerous narrative: that these are isolated errors by otherwise competent professionals.
They are not. They are predictable outcomes of a system that tolerates incomplete records, delayed reviews, hidden
settlements, minimal discipline, and institutional self-protection. And who can blame them, right? It’s hardly ever about accountability over covering your own ass.
Reform does not require radical reinvention; it requires political will. Several changes would make a meaningful difference. Faster review timelines where complaints involving serious harm would be resolved within months, not years. Independent oversight panels would allow for greater involvement of nonmedical members in disciplinary decisions and would reduce professional bias. Public reporting of patterns of complaints and settlements should be visible, not buried. Stronger whistleblower protections so that staff are able to report concerns without career retaliation. Escalating penalties so that multiple violations would trigger automatic restrictions, not discretionary warnings. Chronically failing facilities should face mandatory external oversight and federal intervention.
Some will argue that stronger oversight discourages professionals from practicing in Iowa. I would argue that the opposite is true. High standards attract good professionals. Weak oversight protects bad ones. Most doctors, nurses, and caregivers want dangerous colleagues removed. They suffer reputational damage when failures are ignored.
A man went into a routine surgery and expected to recover. He called for help when something was wrong. He was reassured. He died. Five years later, the system closed the file.
No family should have to wonder whether their loved one’s death was preventable and whether anyone learned from it. Right now, too many of them do.
Medical professionals can’t continue treating patient harm as administrative inconvenience, they must treat it as what it is: a moral failure.
Oversight exists for the worst days, not the best ones. A system that functions only when everyone behaves perfectly is not a system at all. It is wishful thinking.
The Miller case should have been a turning point. It does not have to remain just another footnote.
- David McCoy
- david@thunderroadsiowa.com
- FaceBook.com/TRMIDave
- FaceBook.com/TRMINSUR
Minden Bowl Café and Lounge
209 Broadway
Minden, Iowa 51553
712-483-2937
Hours: Monday-Friday
10:00 AM - 2:00 PM
5:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Saturday 6:00 AM - 10:00 PM
Sunday CLOSED
Minden, Iowa is just east of I-80, and just south of I-80. Confused? Well, this little burg is in western Iowa where the big road changes course from north-northeast to straight east when heading that way. The owners had just finished a roof and renovation project early in April 2024. On April 26th, 2024 Minden was hit by a powerful tornado system that tore through the town. Even though their newly refreshed building had just been damaged by the storm, they decided to let the insurance company know and get to repairing and getting back up and running as soon as possible. Others in town were not as fortunate to be able to do the same. Although we had done an article here in 2015, we thought it fitting to head back and grab a bite to eat again.
Roy and I headed there on a Monday for some noon vittles. He opted for a Gutter Ball with the homemade potato chips. The hand pattied burger is grilled and served with American cheese, bacon, cream cheese, and jalapenos. We also got an order of the breaded cauliflower that was served with a side of ranch. I got the Pearlie, which is a grilled chicken breast topped with bacon, Swiss cheese, and mayo. I opted for the fries to change things up a little bit. On a previous visit, we had to partake of the supper time menu, so thought on a revisit we would go with noon time choices, and we as well as quite a few other folks were quite happy. The service was stellar from a mom-and-pop type of place, and although Roy and I are not from Minden, they welcome out of towners like they do their locals. The food was prepared and served quickly and was most certainly made fresh to order and it was delicious. I did keep eyeballing others’ food as it was coming by and probably will have to go back for several other menu items that looked delish!
As always, the Minden Bowl Café & Lounge did not disappoint. For a place in a rebuilt and rebuilding town, it is amazing to have a bowling alley, fully stocked bar, and food ranging from fryer specialties to meals fit for a king. Their tenacity to work through adversity and keep serving this small Iowa town is worthwhile and admirable in a multitude of ways. You can come and be welcomed in by the staff and locals and enjoy just about anything you may want to eat or drink. You can also enjoy the retro bar back, bar, and decor that was maintained through all the construction and destruction of 2024. A true western Iowa gem of a place to swing in to visit when in the area.
Stop by and check them out, you will not be disappointed. Sitting in for Melanie this month, Vernon Schwarte. You can email Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa. com if you have someplace you think we should check out in your neck of the woods.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
A man walks into a library, approaches the librarian, and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So, they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
My girlfriend complained that I never buy her flowers. To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
What’s the definition of ‘making love’? It’s what women do while the man is having sex.
Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box.
What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
Did you know about the hole in the walls of houses in the nudist colony? The police are looking into it.
What do tofu and a vibrator have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99 percent of you will never get it.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call him; he won’t come anyway.
If you can make a woman laugh, you’re almost there. If you’re almost there and then she laughs, then you’ve got a whole different problem on your hands.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral? Nothing.
My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but then the librarian told me to take it out.
What’s a 6.9? Another great thing screwed up by a period.
What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them so I did, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. It’s not easy. You try finding 32 old guys.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
I can count on one hand how many times I have been to Chernobyl. It’s 14.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face off in the corner.
I told a girl, “You look great without glasses.” She said, “But I don’t wear glasses.” I replied, while polishing my lenses, “Yeah, but I do.”
What’s worse than a lobster on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage. My wife is mad that I ruined our anniversary. I’m not sure how, I didn’t even know it was today.
A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.”
“Thanks, Dad,” the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, asking, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?!”
Today, I asked my phone, “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-David, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
What do a hardware store and a deadbeat dad have in common? Screws, nuts, and bolts.
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
What is it that makes men chase women which they have no intention of marrying? The very same urge that makes dogs chase cars which they have no intention of driving.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Little Johnny’s neighbor just had a baby. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears. Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby’s lack of ears. Johnny looks in the basinet and says “Wow, what a beautiful baby.” The mother replies, ‘Why, Thanks Johnny.” Johnny says: “He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Is he able to see alright?”
you know my name is Katz?
As a woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’ The daughter replied: ‘mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’ The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: ‘dad I’m thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.’ A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ The husband replied: ‘I’m watching football with my son-in-law.’
“Yes”, says the mum, “we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.” “That is great”, says Little Johnny, “cause he’d be stuffed if he needed glasses!”
A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. “How are you today?” “Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book. “I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked. “First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago,” he replied and turned back to his book. “I’m sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely,” she countered. “Do you live around here?” She asked. Yes, I live over in Cape Coral”, he answered, and again he resumed reading. Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, “Do you like pussy cats?” With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life. When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, “How did you know that was what I wanted?” The man replied, “How did
Two builders go into the pub after a hard day’s work. They’re sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living. “I’ll bet he’s an accountant.” said the first builder. “Looks more like a stockbroker to me.” argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal. “Excuse me sir, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?” the builder said to the man. Smiling the man replied, “I’m a logical scientist.” “A what?” asked the builder. “Let me explain” the man continued, “Do you have a goldfish at home?” A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, “Yes, I do as it happens.” “Well then it’s logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?” “A pond” the builder replied. “Well then it’s logical to assume that you have a large garden.” The builder nodded his agreement. So, the man continued, “which means it’s logical to assume you have a large house.” “I have a 6-bedroom house that I built myself.” the builder said proudly. “Given that you have such a large house, it’s logical to assume that you are married...” The builder nodded again, “Yes, I’m married and we have three children.” “Then it’s logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life.” “Five nights a week!” the builder boasted. The man smiled a little, “Therefore it’s logical to assume you don’t masturbate often.” “Never!” the builder exclaimed. “Well, there you have it” the man explained, “That’s logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I’ve discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!” The builder left, very impressed by the man’s talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, “I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?” “Yeah,” replied the first, “He’s a logical scientist.” “A what?” the puzzled second builder asked. “Let me explain” the first builder continued, “Do you have a goldfish at home?” “No” replied his friend. “Well, you’re an asshole then!”
What is the German word for a bra? Stoppemfromfloppen.
“Six States In One Day”
(On a 500cc 1943 Indian Model 741)
(A similar version of this story was printed in the September/October, 1995 Issue of “The Motorcycle Dispatch.”)
Once upon a time, many years ago, in a land not so far away, I took a ride on an old motorcycle. That motorcycle was a 1943 Indian Model 741, a 30.50 cubic inch (500cc) side valve (flathead) WWII Military Machine. The 741 was a de-tuned and scaled-down version of Indian’s venerable 45 cubic inch Sport Scout Model. To say that the bike was small and somewhat puny would be an understatement.
blue skies and lots of sunshine!
I poked along on the little thirty-and-one-half cubic inch motorcycle Southbound from Sioux City towards Council Bluffs. My goal was to get through the Greater Omaha Metropolitan Area before the Friday evening rush-hour traffic. No such luck! Fortunately, I was able to find a semi that moved at the cruising speed of a bonestock Indian Model 741 (about 50 mph) and stayed just behind his draft until he got off the Interstate at the Glenwood, Iowa Exit. (When following a Big Rig, I always like to be certain that the Driver knows I’m back there. Headlight on. Driver’s face in his mirror visible to me, etc. Respect.)
It was the weekend of July 15, 16, and 17, 1994. I needed to take a few days away from home on the old motorcycle to clear some cobwebs from my head. There was a specific destination in mind for Friday night of that weekend. That destination was Talmage, a small town in Southeast Nebraska. I remember it being a rainy day when I left Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and I remember it continually raining all the way through Sioux City, Iowa. I also remember the old saying about waiting for the weather to improve before taking a bike ride: “If you want to wait for the weather; that’s just what you will do. You will WAIT!” Anyway, I got on I-29 Southbound in Sioux Falls and rode in the rain for the first eighty or ninety miles and then, clear
I stayed on I-29 Southbound to the Nebraska City Exit, where I got off the Interstate and took the bridge across the Big Muddy into Nebraska. A few miles of Nebraska back roads and I was easily in Talmage by nightfall. I remember the ‘locals’ taking a long, hard look at me and the machine as I backed it up to the curb in front of the rendezvous point in Talmage. This was nothing new to me, as it happens almost everywhere I go.
My hosts met me in Talmage and escorted me to their farm place three or four miles out of town. When I got to the farm, I unloaded the saddle bags, wiped down the bike, and checked all the vitals. That was a respectable day of riding in any man’s world: 250-plus miles on a grossly under-powered (then 52-year-old) motorcycle without any mechanical events and no speeding tickets! The old Thirty-
Fifty asked only for a quart of oil and a few gallons of gasoline for its day’s work. Not bad!
The rest of the evening was spent sitting around the fire pit, shooting the breeze, and getting caught up on Life. Before too long, I had adequately decompressed from the ride and was ready to get settled in for the night.
I hung around my host’s farm all day Saturday and helped Charlie get everything set up for the party he had planned. Of course, there was food a beverage a-plenty all day and into the evening. More guests arrived through the afternoon and we watched a rather impressive fireworks display just after dusk. Throughout the day and into the night, I couldn’t keep from thinking about where I was geographically and what a rare opportunity, I had to pull off a rather major coup the next day: Six States In One Day on an Indian 741! Soon after the fireworks were over, I made the rounds and said good night to all my friends, old and new, then made my way to my sleeping bag with a mind full of big ideas for the next day’s ride.
Sunday morning arrives and I am finally on the road by the crack of 7:30. (Had to have a bath, some breakfast and a belly full of coffee, you know!) I left the farm and took some gravel roads and then some county roads south and west until I found my way to Tecumseh, Nebraska. I topped off the fuel tank in Tecumseh and headed for Pawnee City and DuBois, Nebraska. Soon I crossed the Kansas state line and headed for Seneca. I fueled up and made a quick phone call in Seneca and headed east towards St. Joseph, Missouri. Some road construction and a little backtracking forced me back into Nebraska, and soon I was in Falls City, Nebraska. I crossed the Missouri River on US Highway 159 and was finally in Missouri. Three states down and three states to go. This is going to be a piece of cake… WRONG!!!
I rode through a thunder shower in Big Lake State Park, then onward through the Missouri towns of Craig and Tarkio. This was going to be a good ride! I left Tarkio heading North on US Hwy 59 towards the Iowa state line. I stayed on the 59 all the way to Shenandoah, Iowa where I fueled up the little V-Twin and gave it a quart of oil. I slammed a bottle of Gatorade as I made a phone call to my good friend and sometimes AMCA Omaha Chapter member, Ronnie WHO?! from Harlan, Iowa. I told Ron that I was on US Hwy 59 Northbound, heading towards Harlan and that I would be in his driveway soon.
It was early in the afternoon when I arrived in Harlan and Ron was waiting for me in his driveway. As I remember, I tightened the generator chain a little bit and spent a short hour visiting with Ron and Sandy before hitting the road once again. I explained to them that I was on a mission to try to ride that Little Indian in Six States In One Day. They wished me well and again, I was on my way.
Riding North out of Harlan on US Hwy 59 took me through the towns of Denison, Ida Grove (fuel stop), Holstein and Cherokee. At Cherokee, I rode west on Iowa Highway 3
towards LeMars and my Good Friend and Mentor, AMCA Omaha Chapter Co-Founder, Rich Schultz. After much road construction and many detours, I arrived in LeMars around 8:00pm. By this time my old body was feeling tired and hungry! I made a short call to Rich to let him know I was in town and that I was on a mission. He wished me well and gave me words of encouragement. I returned to my seat in the restaurant, chowed down my meal and loaded up on hot coffee. A quick fuel stop on the edge of LeMars and I was on the road again; this time I was riding North on US Hwy 75.
I rode US Hwy 75 North through Sioux Center and Rock Rapids, Iowa and then on to Luverne, Minnesota. I topped up the fuel tank one last time and put the front tire on the Westbound lane of Interstate 90. Twelve miles later, I crossed the South Dakota state line. Sixteen miles after that, I was in front of my garage in Sioux Falls. I had done it!
I had ridden a 1943 Indian Military Model 741 in Six States in One Day! (Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Minnesota, and Sweet Home South Dakota!) It was 11:30 pm when I stepped onto my driveway. I was feeling a bit tired, but quite excited to have achieved my goal. It was a 452-mile day and a 700-plus mile weekend touring on a ‘disposable’ machine that was designed to be a Military Dispatch/Courier’s vehicle.
Imagine getting onto the seat of your average riding lawn mower and hammering out 450-plus miles on it in a single day. The major difference between the lawn mower and the 741 is the lawn mower probably has more horsepower! (And probably better suspension!)
Every mile an adventure and every minute a memory.
Ride Safe, but Ride ‘em! Don’t hide ‘em!
Rest in Peace, John Parham, Crazy Charlie and Rich Schultz.
Special thanks to Bill Wilson and the H.P. Love and Respect to All.
Alice (LS) Landshark, etc.
Postscript: It was nearly thirty-two years ago (and about 60 pounds ago!) when I made this ride and originally wrote this story. A lot has changed in my life since then, but a lot has stayed the same, too. My love for riding Old Iron on Old Back Roads is as strong as it ever was! A lot of this ride was made through the Loess Hills of Iowa. Today, living on the edge of Smallsville, I can look out my back door and see the Loess Hills just a few miles away. I had ridden a lot of The Loess before 1994 and have ridden a lot of The Loess since 1994, but that is one ride I will never forget!
ml to F C A m a o h to th m e s d
No, I am not ready for this!
By Crash Davis
Ya all feel that shit? Spring baby Spring…and the return of the riding season in Iowa! And no, I am not ready for it at all. Okay, I am mentally ready, you can trust me on that. Love the fact that winter and below zero crap is behind us and pretty much whenever I want, weather permitting and I jump on my Wing and f’n GO! See, I did add that caveat and said, “weather permitting”. This is the Midwest and you generally don’t know from one day to the next if the weather is “riding weather”. Heck, how many times has it gone from good to bad in the same day?
Mentally, my playlist is dialed in, my riding gear actually fits better this year, and I have a burning desire to put down some miles. I take them when I can anymore. Riding to work early in the morning, riding to places my jobs take me throughout the course of a day…I love that stuff and again, it’s been a winter, but I am ready…Mentally. Or maybe I am just mental. You see, like so many of you, I just always seem to have a lot of “stuff” going on and the demands on my schedule seem to keep me away from doing stuff that I really want to get done, which is good to a certain extent because it does keep my limited cranium base of thoughts from wandering off course like a toddler in a toy store. Legit, my buddy correctly points out that we all have a ‘Tism of one sort or another that we can get dialed in on, and having responsibilities to pay my taxes and bills does help me to not be distracted by the stuff I love to do. I mean, I still THINK about all the fun stuff I want to do, but this past winter has dialed me in just a little bit.
I am not ready!
crops out of the fields, just a nice warm Sunday towards the end of November to sneak out, hit some curves, find a beer or two, fill up on some wings on my Wing, then at the end of the day, ride to my warehouse to store it for the winter. Remember those autumn days, even with the sunshine, she sinks quickly as does the Mercury, and you can start to feel the sting of what is about to happen with the calendar. We all know it is coming but we hold on to one more day the best that we can. T’was glorious for sure. We got the miles in he needed; I headed to the shop where my wife picked me up, plugged in the tender and the planning process was underway. By the next week, all of the Midwest was locked up, frozen for the winter.
It looked like the weather peeps might have nailed a forecast for us concerning the winter! It got cold, snowy, and it looked like hibernation for riding was here. I know this will shock some, but in our area, they (weather peeps) whiffed again. And whiffed pretty damn bad. It wasn’t near as crappy as forecasted but it wasn’t warm enough to tempt me to ride again, no matter, I am a productive member of society, time to do all the clique stuff and focus on work projects so when the weather broke, I wouldn’t be broke and could get away to ride. A perfect time to get those bike projects done I wanted to!
Except I didn’t.
I did pull the cover off one day and reset the tender, so there is that. Hell, I didn’t even put the new tag on the plate, I just put the paperwork in the rear trunk in a hurry one day and thought “heck, I will have time to affix that later”. Nope, didn’t even get around to that until recently. She’s really to roll, just not where I was hoping to have her when the sun returned to providing more daylight than darkness. One may think I would have been more focused on this love of my life, but alas, I fall upon my sword on the glossy pages of this award-winning motorbike magazine.
I had some big plans that I was going to address with my ride this winter. Tweak here or there, add some things, clean some things, normal stuff a great many bikers do over the down time of not being able to ride. I am not a chrome guy, or an extra lights guy, but my bike is getting some age and weather on it’s “skin” and I had these really cool plans for addressing it when I pulled it into my warehouse this past November. It was awesome to get out one last time before the weather kicked in. My buddy got a brand spanking new bike; he wanted to get 500 miles on her to complete the break in and I was more than pleased to give him a riding partner. The leaves were already gone at this point,
To which, speaking of this award-winning magazine, the owner and publisher Vernon and his amazing bride are still keeping me around for another season. I do feel blessed that I am allowed to contribute each month to this (for the decades that I have been doing this) I love the fact that each month I get a text from the boss of bosses that simply says “Morning”. It usually comes to me while I am in my radio studio, around 6:30 am and that is my subtle reminder in his own words saying, “hey dipshit how is that article coming along”? It is a labor of love that I do get to do this, and it blows me away that people actually take the time to read it and bring up the stuff that I crank out when I run into them. Legit, thank you for all the kind words over the past so many years. I love talking about riding, rides, events, all the general stuff that gets the biker world motors running. Somewhere between this computer and a flash drive I have
all the columns that I have helmed, and who knows, maybe someday I will publish them all in book form. Not that there is a demand for anyone to read them, I know better, but it would be cool that when the day comes and I have grandkids I can explain to them what a magazine was and that their grandpa used to do cool shit.
I was a part of a big fireworks display for 15 years in my town. I helped with the fundraising, dialed my station in with the music that went to the fireworks, and I loved seeing 50,000 people around the lake come together to celebrate America. Yes, I did it for the community and all of that, yes, it was a lot of work, and super gratifying as well…but my secret reason? When my kids are watching fireworks someday down the road, and their kiddos are sitting on their lap, I hope they tell them that “grandpa was pretty cool and used to help put together big shows”.
I love this stuff, but at the same time, it keeps me busy. Too busy to cash in the free pork tenderloins Vern promised me and the buckets of beer we are going to go through while we solve the remaining world problems. I will make this happen…we have only been trying for more years than we care to remember.
I am not ready, but damnit it’s go time! It’s time to celebrate the freedom that riding gets us.
Meh, the bike is in good enough shape, she’s ready for me.
And I am ready for her. Now to find a time to get me that tenderloin and bucket of beer.
Feb 27-Mar 8 Daytona Bike Week Daytona, FL
Mar 7 B.A.C.A. Flippy Cup Tournament West Des Moines
Mar 8 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids
Mar 14 31st Annual Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids
Mar 20-22 Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE
Mar 25 Ladies’ Garage Party Big Barn HD Des Moines
Mar 28-29 Chopper Show at D7 Expo Mason City
Mar 28-29 39th Annual North Iowa Motorcycle EXPO Mason City
Mar 29 Hill Blazers Hill Climb Logan
Apr 8-12 Arizona Bike Week Scottsdale, AZ
Apr 11 Ride Book Kickoff Big Barn HD Des Moines
Apr 18 Bike Blessing Route 65 HD Indianola
Apr 18 Chosen Few Iowa 2nd Annual Motorcycle Swap Meet Cedar Rapids
Apr 25 Abate D18 Leather Run,Heartland HD Burlington
Apr 25 Bike Blessing Big Barn HD Des Moines
May 1 SAFR All Roads Lead to Boone Fun Run Pre-Party Boone
May 2 15th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone
May 2 CMA Annual Bike Blessing and Run For The Son Crapo Park Burlington
May 2 International Female Rider Day Worldwide
May 3 8th Annual Blessing of the Bikes Chapel of Praise Muscatine
May 16 B.A.C.A. 100 Mile Ride Route 65 HD Indianola
May 16 CVMA 39-1 Patriot Poker Run DeSoto
May 21-24 Redneck Revival Conesville
May 30 Gears and Beers Mean Machine Cycles Elkhart
Jun 5-6 Spring Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines
Jun 6 Abate D18 Memorial Ride Keokuk
Jul 25 Car & Bike Show Big Barn HD Des Moines
Jul 25 AMVETS Riders Veterans Ride Post 82 Hudson
Aug 7-16 Black Hills Motorcycle Rally South Dakota
Aug 13-23 Big Barn HD at the Iowa State Fair
Aug 15 AMVETS Riders Fun Run Post 82 Hudson
Aug 15 The Rust Run Antique Motorcycle Poker Run Atlanta, NE
Aug 16 Support Our Veterans Ride LuVerne
Aug 22 Abate D 18 Pay Back Ride VFW Burlington
Jun 6 AMVETS Riders Cancer Ride Post 82 Hudson
Jun 20-21 Rumble In the Sand Conesville
Jul 2-4 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt
Nov 6-7 Veteran’s Day Event Big Barn HD Des Moines
Nov 6-8 ABATE of Iowa STEAM Des Moines
Nov 27-28 Black Friday & Orange Saturday Big Barn HD Des Moines
Dec 12 Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines
WE NEED YOUR EVENTS FOR THE REST OF THIS YEAR AND FOR 2026. PLEASE EMAIL THEM TO VERNON@THUNDERROADIOWA.COM INCLUDE DATE, EVENT NAME, AND STARTING LOCATION TOWN.
